I’ve been reading Viz’s release of the Hikaru no Go manga, and although I’m opposed to edits in general, the ones here are amusing by virtue of their half-heartedness. For example, in the scene where Kaga stubs out his cigarette on a Go board, they can’t seem to decide if it’s okay for it to be a cigarette or whether he “put out his gum” (you can smoke chewing gum now?). On another occasion, his cigarette is changed to a firecracker he just happened to be setting off for no reason, but the teacher calls him a “gum chewing brat”, whilst still other scenes of smokers are left as they are. So, are cigarettes evil, or is it firecrackers and gum that are leading our kids down the wrong path? You decide, for Viz cannot.

Harvest Moon O
Farming has been the duty of the Anton line ever since the original Grandpa Anton left his farm to his grandson, but how is that multiple generations of Antons can live in the same town and interact with the same group of people? The answer lies in Harvest Moon O- like Paradigm City of Big O, Mineral Town, Fogert-Me-Not Valley and Flowerbud Valley are all effectively stages on which similar events play out over and over again. Each time a new Anton (or Antonia) agrees to farm, the town is reset and he is forced to remain within its confines until he has built a successful farm, married and had a child. Upon his death, the town resets again, but since the system is constantly updating and refining, the reset town is usually a little bit more advanced, with the eventual goal being to breed the ultimate farmer who can handle the highest level of farming simulation. So, if you’ve ever wondered what that eternally locked shed on the farm in A Wonderful Life is for, the answer is here- it is the control room for the town simulation.

The Chevalier Death Awards

• The Getting In Early Award for Dying Before the Series Even Began: Whilst Belle was already in skull form by the time we met her, the winner can only be Lia, whose death provided the impetus for the entire series even as her spirit borrowed d’Eon’s body.
• The “My Contract Ran Out” Award for Dying From Non-Serious Wounds: The prize goes to Robespierre, who didn’t really seem to be that seriously wounded from being stabbed by Broglie, but bade farewell to his comrades and departed for the next world anyway. Amazingly enough, Robespierre had already come through an earlier death without too much trouble.
• The Gargoyle Award for Dying After Becoming a Grey Monster: Although early casualty Bernice is a runner-up in this department, he cannot match up to the agonising end experienced by poor Durand.
• The “I’m not Dead Yet” Award for Comically Villainous End: Saint-Germain is the winner here for somehow turning into a Gargoyle, digging his way out of a ton of rubble, and appearing in the final episode for no real reason.
• The “Why Did I Sleep With Broglie?” Award for Dying from a Disfiguring Condition: Louis XV wins here after ill-advisedly having HARD GAY with Broglie opening the BOOK.
• The “My Lovers Betrayed Me” Award for Being Killed by Gargoyles: Gargoyle attacks were common in the early episodes, but only Empress Elizabeth suffered fatally for sitting down to dinner with some suspiciously grey men.
• The “I Bribed the Director” Award for Dying Many Episodes After Everyone Thought He Would: This award can only go to Voronzoff, who managed to stay alive far often than his mid-boss role would have indicated.
• The Death in Dignity Award for Taking Poison: Unlike the gory deaths of many of the other characters, Marie was able to enjoy a quieter end after sipping the poisoned wine prepared by Louis.
• The Farewell Limbs Award for Being an Early Enemy of the Week: A prize that can only go to Caron, a man who existed merely to be an opponent of the week and consequently get killed by Lia.
• The “I Took the Head out of Whitehead” Award for Explosively Losing One’s Head: Unsurprisingly, Paul Whitehead wins this award after Robespierre causes his head to explode.
• The “Come and Get Me, Then” Award for Standing Around and Waiting to Be Killed: Anna walks away with the prize (or would if she were alive) after standing motionless whilst Louis slowly walked towards her and ended her life.
• The “It Can Take Up to Fifteen Minutes to Die” Award for Getting Hanged: Despite his generally dislikeable nature, who couldn’t feel a pang of sorrow for poor Peter as he was tearfully led away to face the hangman’s noose.
• The “Save the Last Dance for Me” Award for Taking a Bullet for One’s Master: Teillagory lost his life in a bizarre waltz as he threw himself in the path of a bullet meant for Orleans.
• The Guillotine Award for Falling to the Classic French Execution Method: Robin-Robespierre met his end at the blade of the guillotine, just as history dictated.
• The “Where’s the Anti-Aging Cream?” Award For Dying After Becoming Amazing Wrinkled Within the Space of One Episode: After sparring with Robespierre in a Book vs. Cane duel, Dashwood seemed to have the upper hand, but he couldn’t contend with rapid aging and the Hellscape spell.
• The “It Was My Time” Award for Dying in an Uninteresting Way Compared to Everyone Else: An award created for Pompadour, who was killed by Robespierre in a decidedly non-flashy fashion.

GetBackers Pick ‘N’ Mix Part One

“My hard drive has corrupted, and all my porn is lost!”

“Ah, I remember when little Makubex first found that adult website.”

HARD GAY comes at a price.

“Call that a Zhuge Liang? It’s barely a Liang!”

Ban promises to pleasure the latest client all by himself.

“You aren’t very well-endowed, are you?”

“I hope you don’t mind having HARD GAY in here, but we don’t want other people to know we’re really men in disguise.”

“So, what sort of HARD GAY do you want?”

“Technically, we shouldn’t even be asking for it from you, but…”

“With our work schedule, we don’t have much choice other than to ask you.”

“Yes, that’s what my lovers nickname me.”

Short parody: Fushigi Yuugi

(Miaka: I love Tamahome, but I don’t deserve to be with him, so I’ll just run away and try to solve everything on my own, thus making everyone worry and probably getting caught in the process.)

Miaka is caught the instant she steps away from her Celestial Warriors.

Nakago: Gwakaka, your warriors are no match for me! Not even Tamahome can match my bishie good looks!

Yui: I hate you, Miaka, because not only did you fail to teleport over and save me from some generic men, but you dared to take Tamahome away from me!

Miaka: How can you have feelings for Tamahome? You barely know him!

Yui: I could ask the same of you.

Miaka: Ah, touché.

The Celestial Warriors arrive to rescue Miaka. Tamahome challenges Nakago.

Nakago: Foolish boy, you are no match for me!

Tamahome: Think again, Nakago! Not only is Chichiri’s magic somehow protecting me, but I have Miaka’s love and the power of love on my side!

Nakago: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Miaka is rescued.

Tamahome: I love you, Miaka.

Miaka: I’m sorry, but I don’t love you.

(Miaka: If I admit to our love, something will go wrong, so I’ll just make him miserable.)

(Tamahome: Oh no! I had better go and angst now)

Miaka: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it- I really do love you.

Tamahome: Well, now I’m not so sure we should get together.

(Miaka: He doesn’t love me after all! I must angst.)

Tamahome: Sorry, I was being a jerk just then. I love you, Miaka.

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Hotohori: I love you too, Miaka, but since I don’t have a chance with you, I’ll just marry this random woman whilst you leave me behind in part two of the series..

Nuriko: I love you, Hotohori, but since I can’t decide whether I’m HARD GAY, BI or STRAIGHT, I also love Miaka.

Chichiri: I’m not bishie enough to be a love interest, although I was quite good looking in flashback.

Tasuki: I’m HARD GAY for Koji, but I also secretly wish to turn BI and take Miaka for my own.

Mitsukake: I have a tragic doomed love backstory, but am too generic to have much additional development.

Chiriko: I’m too young to have a personality!

On the Seiryu side…

Yui: I love you, Tamahome!

Nakago: I shall pretend to love you, Yui, whilst jumping into bed with Soi to replenish my ‘mana’.

Soi: I love you, Nakago.

Tomo: I love you, Nakago!

Amiboshi: I love you, Miaka!

Suboshi: I love you, Yui, although I am also HARD GAY for my twin brother!

Miboshi: I am just generic and evil.

Ashitare: Grrr.

The history of fruit in anime
Apples may be the world leaders in animated fruit, but even as they try to solidify their power base, other fruits are seeking to dislodge them from the top spot. Whilst bananas use their suggestive nature (Sakura Diaries) to gain power, lemons rely on their bitterness (Red Garden, Nodame Cantabile) and others like oranges (Argento Soma) and grapes (SaiMono) merely wait quietly in the background. Are any of them a match for the mighty apple?

Random trivia: In order to get the same ‘goodness’ and nutritional value as you would have by eating one orange and one tomato fifty or so years ago, you must consume six modern oranges and ten modern tomatoes. Eat up.

HARD YURI corner: Mai-Otome
At Garderobe Academy, young women who wish to forget about men and become full-fledges students of HARD YURI are invited to come and study under the most HARD YURI couple on the planet- Natsuki and Shizuru. Girls are accepted after demonstrating their ability to satisfy their teachers and upperclasswomen (Chie is especially demanding, but pity the girl who gets Maria), and progress through the school by providing extraordinary service in the bedroom.

Unfortunately, all is not well in Otome world, for men such as Sergey Wang have been tasked with subverting girls from the path of HARD YURI, and turning them STRAIGHT with the help of their Zhuge Liangs. Can the likes of Arika and Nina discover the HARD YURI joys of a bath scene with Erstin, or will Sergey win them over with his mighty Wang?

OST Spotlight: Kurau Phantom Memory OST2: Crimson
Whilst it can be hardly denied that the second Kurau OST contains some remix, the quality does not suffer for it. There are times when the slower themes run the risk of blending into the background, but give them your full attention and the quality of composition really begins to stand out, ensuring that this is another blend of beautiful and haunting music that stands proudly alongside the first OST.

Notable tracks: The Power, Moonlight ~Essence~, Tomorrow’s Treasures, Drag Racer, Daily Life ~Heartfelt~, Moonlight ~Farewell~

Mini-rant: Does it really always have to have a deeper meaning?
I don’t know about you, but I still have memories of the English lessons of my school days, and one thing I recall is how, when analysing poetry, I couldn’t help wondering if we were just pulling stuff out of our backsides reading things into it that the original writer had never once intended to convey. Similarly, when it comes to anime, some reviewers seem to think it appropriate to try to over-analyse and ascribe so-called ‘social commentary’ to almost every series they watch. Is such a practice really necessary? Is it their way of justifying the fact that they watch anime to family members and ‘outsiders’ who would otherwise think they were wasting their lives in front of ‘cartoons’?

Whatever the case, whilst there are a handful of series that touch on current events (such as the terrorist situation in 2^nd Gig) or perhaps have something deeper to say about society, this certainly can’t be said about the vast majority of anime- and ultimately, what is wrong with that? Anime is marketed as a form of entertainment, and therefore, if anything, it should act as a bit of escapism. Is S-Cry-ed a tale of shifting political tides between a powerful mainland and an island struggling to forge its own identity, or just an excuse for men with special powers to beat each other up? Is Elfen Lied a harrowing tale of the mistreatment of children, or a gore-fest punctuated with fanservice and harem elements? Is Gantz a scathing commentary on the state of contemporary society, or a young man’s fantasy world of big guns and big breasts? Even if the answers lie somewhere in between, we should take care not to aggrandise the motives of a series to the extent that we make it something it was never meant to be. So just sit back, relax, and accept that while anime can indeed be very good, it isn’t really meant to be high art. And if you still want social commentary, why not try a topical news show instead?

In Your Reflection

This week we have a three-way comparison between three pale-haired girls who aren’t quite what they seem- Aquarion’s Rena, Mai-HiME’s Mashiro and Karin’s Anju. Whilst Rena is wheelchair-bound with occasional vampiric tendencies, Mashiro is wheelchair-bound and possessed of her own secrets, and Anju, whilst more mobile (at least at night), is a vampire

Fashion police: Ender

We return to .hack//Roots for a second time to pick on Ender, a villainess with a predilection for showing off more flesh than we ever needed to see. As well as making a rather dull choice of darker colours for her entire costume, Ender’s asymmetrical outfit leaves us to choose between bad and worse- bad being the bizarrely shaped armour and metal thong, and worse being the lack of effort put into her exposed right hand side. Fortunately for us all, she soon switches to using another player character, even if that is ManPai.

Fashion sense: D-

Amusing Search Terms

The old favourites: lolicon, you toube, bouncing breasts

moe kare scanlation: I don’t even know what this is.

“knight of justice”: that’s me- oh wait, it isn’t.

Under Flame manga: Ah yes, that well known manga.

anime love: Love in anime, or love of anime?

Pr0N TOUBE 15: There were 14 others?

Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Night Before: ‘Twas the night before Yu-Gi-Oh, and all through the house, not a card gamer was playing, not even Yugi Mutou…oh, you get the idea.

hack harvestmoon: Stop trying to hack it- unless of course you have a cheat to switch off those damned hurricanes and blizzards.

watch shows of dragonball z: Are you sure you want to?

harvest moon wonderful life otaku: Can you actually be a Harvest Moon otaku? Do you have to dress like an Anton every day and tend to imaginary animals?

noir we had to let you have it

carol vorderman my q: Ah yes, I am the prime internet source for Carol Vorderman.

gay dragonball z: Did you see how Goku was looking at Vegeta? They’ll be comparing their “Super Saiyan muscles” in the bedroom tonight, I’ll wager.

what was the phases of the moon on march: Moon~!

fate stay night visual novel screens: You naughty boy, you want to look at Rin naked, don’t you? Or is it Saber that floats your boat?

diary multi year: Azure Flame will soon be releasing custom multi-year diaries for its users. These diaries are special in that they are invisible and use no materials to create.

large anime doll makers: The thought of a giant Kanaria in my home scares me.

stratos 4 doujinshi: I’ll only make a doujin if it stars the Admiral, and she’s a bit too fat to fit into a manga panel.

chokotto sister nudity: Just download any chapter, really.

.hack//roots tabby -nude -naked –profani: “Quick, let’s look up as many rude things as possible before Mum and Dad get back!”

Spoiler Alert: Don’t read HARD GAY corner if you want to keep your knowledge of Gungrave a blank slate.

It’s been well over half a year since Tuesday Rumble first began, and to my surprise, it has not only survived all this time, but has even managed to evolve far beyond my initial expectations (and there are still new features in progress that I have yet to reveal). Unfortunately, in its own way, TR is starting to take over- one article can sometimes be as long as a full blog post.

Fat Cats and Pizza Hut

Ever wondered who the masterminds behind the Pizza Hut takeover of the world were? Look no further, for the culprits have been found- and they are none other than fat cats! The link between chubby felines and Italian food has long been right in front of us- not only do we have President Aria himself residing in a Martian recreation of Venice, but most readers will surely recall Garfield and his love of lasagne. Now, these huggable fiends have taken it to the next level, seeking to use Pizza Hut to cement their control over human society. Agents such as the cat in Code Geass ensure that Pizza Hut becomes ingrained in our very way of life, with all the profits going to high ranking fat cats such as the mysterious Cardinal from Alias. Readers be warned- every penny you spend on Pizza Hat is lining the metaphorical pockets of our soon to be furry overlords.

Ikki Tousen: Boob of Death
In the world of Ikki Tousen, clothes are made of tissue paper, undergarments from heavy duty reinforced polymers, and the deadliest weapon of all is not the fist, but the breast. Welcome to Boob of Death, the next evolution in the Ikki Tousen franchise, a series where the plot isn’t just an excuse to show off some assets- the story is the assets!

In the BoD universe, a new form of martial arts has been developed, which uses the breast itself to do the fighting. From causing a fatal nosebleed or asphyxiating one’s opponent by pressing them into the chest to administering a ‘melon’ clobbering or using the vibrations to create energy waves, there is no end to the ways in which these H-cup assets can be employed in battle. Look forward to it!

Red Garden 19: Paula’s Confession
“I imagined you sleeping with other women.”

“…to other lovers.”

“Of course, if you were in my bed at midnight, things would be different.”

“I feared the intensity of my feelings would drive you away.”

“You just wanted my body!”

“I need you for HARD YURI.”

“And so you must be mine- and mine alone.”

Look- I’m not making it up.

Elsewhere, the foreman is impressed with Rose’s father’s HARD GAY.

“You’ve slept with me even when you didn’t have to.”

“Here’s a little kickback, and I’ll, uh, see you tonight, okay?”

Short Parody: Harvest Moon- The Rebellious Teenage Years

In Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life, your character’s child grows up throughout the course of the game, and the manual warns you to be wary of those rebellious teenage years. I haven’t quite reached that point in the game yet, but let’s imagine a worst case scenario for it.

Anton tries to give Antonia a flower.

Antonia: Dad, I don’t want some dumb flower you just picked up off the ground. Why can’t you buy me a mobile phone or something?

Anton: This is a farming village- where am I supposed to get a mobile phone?

Antonia: I don’t know, why don’t you try going into the city for once in your life? Oh, I forgot, it’s game over for you if you ever leave this dull place; well then, how about ordering one for me off TV Shopping- it’s only 98,000G.

Anton: I can’t afford to buy things from TV Shopping! I have to eat wild flowers just so that I can earn enough to buy fodder for the animals!

Antonia: Yeah, well that’s your fault for becoming a farmer! All my friends always boast about their dads have such cool jobs like being a lawyer or a doctor, and I’m too embarrassed to tell them that mine’s a farmer.

Anton: There’s nothing wrong with being a farmer- many generations of Antons have run farms.

Antonia: So what? You don’t even have a car- instead you have to ride around everywhere on that stupid horse. How am I supposed to get a lift into town to meet my boyfriend?

Anton: You have a boyfriend? Aren’t you a bit young for that?

Antonia: Get with the times, Dad. Hugh is a much better guy than you are, and he doesn’t give me stupid flowers every day like you did for Mum. He even has cool clothes- not like your four outfits that you wear every single year. Those clothes of yours are so 2005, and the food you cook is even worse! Who wants to eat Yam Soup?

Anton: That’s enough, young lady- you’re grounded!

Antonia: Yeah, like, whatever. Just wait until I’m old enough to get out of this dump.

The history of apples in anime

They may be silent, but apples have been a key part of anime for years, often showing up in the background or being eaten by characters. Tokyo Mew Mew, Zegapain, Deltora Quest, Tsubasa Chronicle, Gargoyle, Koi Kaze and Oniisama E are but a few of the series that have seen at least glimpses of apples in either foreground or background, and this range of names just shows us how many different situations they can appear in.

The first really big break for apples came in Death Note, however; first the manga showed us how shinigami Ryuk’s addiction to them was similar to human cravings for cigarettes or alcohol, and then the anime took it to the next level by including apples prominently in the first OP. From then on, the profile of the humble apple was raised, and all the groundwork they had laid over the years became clear to even the most casual of observers. We may have thought otherwise for many years, but one fact is now clear- apples are the true stars of anime.

HARD GAY corner: Gungrave
Ever since they first met as children, Brandon and Harry knew that they were destined HARD GAY partners- one talkative and ambitious, the other quiet and loyal. Even so, they knew that the key to not getting bored with each other was to take other lovers, and so it was that they started off by forming a street gang in order to create a more varied experience.

Unfortunately, the other gang members were eventually killed, forcing Brandon and Harry to join up with Millennion, an intensely HARD GAY group led by Big Daddy (so named due to the size of his Zhuge Liang). As Brandon and Harry worked their way up through the ranks of Millennion over the years, they came to discover all kinds of HARD GAY lovers- most notably Bear Walken (a real ‘bear’ in the bedroom), Balladbird Lee (a swift and precise lover), Bob Poundmax and Bunjie Kugashiro- but unfortunately, this situation was not to last. Even as Brandon found love with Big Daddy, Harry not only discovered the exciting nature of CORPSE with re-animated lovers, but decided that there should be no end to his HARD GAY ambitions.

Inevitably, Brandon and Harry clashed, ending in Brandon’s death after a bout of Pistol. In order to put this behind him, Harry took control of Millennion and convinced his underlings to become ‘Superiorised’, a process which refined them into the ultimate lovers. Meanwhile, jilted lover Brandon was brought back from the dead, at which point he vowed to get revenge on Harry. As it turned out, however, after intense HARD GAY encounters with Harry’s underlings, he began to recall all the good times he had had with his old friend, and in the end, the pair decided to declare their feelings for each other and end it all in one last intense session…

OST Spotlight: Sousei no Aquarion OST 2
Last week I talked about the first Aquarion soundtrack, and if that sounded good to you, you’ll be pleased to know that this CD offers more of the same. As to be expected, there is a degree of remix, but aside from a slightly higher proportion of slower songs, this maintains the standard set by OST1 and even throws in a few more must-listen tracks. An essential purchase or acquisition for all Yoko Kanno fans.

Notable tracks: Go Tight, Cyberfolk Music, Dribble Dribble, Nike 15sai, Genesis of Aquarion

Licensing Reactions

• Shounen Onmyouji (Geneon): A license that was refreshingly announced without much fanfare (probably since it will only be of interest to about ten people), Shounen Onmyouji isn’t a good enough show for me to be rushing out and buying the DVDs straightaway, but maybe if a thinpak appears at some point down the line, I might get that. Then again, if there happens to be a Mokkun plushie packaged as a DVD extra, I could rethink my position for at least one volume.

Mini-editorial: The value of single volume reviews
Although there’s more flexibility to write about what you want on a blog, volume by volume reviews of DVDs and manga are the lifeblood of most anime review websites- after all, boxsets aside, that’s what the companies send you to review, and they probably wouldn’t be too pleased if you just let the volumes pile up for months before writing anything. Even so, to the casual reader, how useful is a review that only covers a small percentage of the entire series?

Now, admittedly both the initial and final volumes and their respective first and last impressions can be a useful guide, but when you haven’t seen a series and want a quick idea of whether to spend your hard earned cash on it, seven or so separate reviews for that series may simply seem like too much hard work to sift through in order to gather an overall picture. Instead, it probably sounds infinitely easier to read a complete series review to more effectively get an impression of it.

That is not to say single volume reviews are completely without merit; after all, it can be interesting to delve into more specifics than a blanket review would allow- and if it’s well written, you may want to read it regardless of how relevant the content is to you. Unfortunately, the long-term appeal is a lot more limited; with the passing of time, many more people are likely to come and read your Last Exile series review than they are your Last Exile #5 review- and anyone who hasn’t first watched volumes 1-4 isn’t likely to touch it all.

At the end of the day, single volume reviews aren’t likely to go away any time soon, but aside from perhaps the aforementioned initial and final volume pieces, their overall value and effectiveness to the readership seems somewhat less than complete series reviews. Is this something review websites like AoD and ANN should take into account- should they even come up with ways to integrate disparate reviews so that they can be displayed in a more cohesive way for those who want a general impression? Or should readers just accept that they won’t get that sort of content from those websites, and resign themselves to searching elsewhere? Perhaps a series review should be written at the end, with links to the original single volume reviews for those looking for more detail.

Harem of the week: Shugo Kunisaki- .hack//Legend of the Twilight
His goal is to become a hero in The World, and that means he needs women around to help him with such trivialities as levelling up and completing quests. Once he can accomplish these tasks on his own, they can sit back and admire him.

Harem

Rena: Twincest alert! Why else have your sister play as BlackRose than to stare at her exposed virtual flesh? For her part, Rena is fond of calling for her Onii-chan a lot, and seems to be a useless player despite secretly levelling up.

Mireille: In the real world she’s four years old, covering the loli requirements, whilst playing as a chirpy rare item hunter in the vein of her mother.

Ouka: The seductive older woman, she’s an accomplished warrior online, and can even transform into a wolf.

Hotaru: The quiet, shy and essentially helpless one- even though she’s a Wavemaster she relies on magic scrolls in order to cast spells. And before anyone chimes in and says her player is a male, that only happened in a CD drama, so it’s not canon.

Rivals

Balmung: His bishie charms entrance Rena right from the start; although Shugo seems to have the upper hand in the long haul, he presents a threat throughout the series.

Komiyama: A classmate determined to claim Rena for his own; luckily he’s fairly incompetent.

Fashion police

This week we take a look at Haseo in his Twin Blade attire (his other forms can be considered on a future occasion). To be fair, the lower half of his costume is not too bad, despite the odd gold and black contraption at the back, but once we move upwards, the problems begin. As if the bare tattooed chest wasn’t bad enough, Haseo has chosen to expose his shoulders as well, keeping up the .hack tradition of exposing as much unnecessary flesh as possible. The wrist guards are also slightly suspect, with their bulkiness seeming out of place compared to his slim arms.

In game form, the major difference is that there are more buckled straps, whilst the back of the hair is flatter, resulting in a worse hairstyle overall.

Fashion sense: C- (anime), D+ (game)

Amusing Search Terms

bouncing breasts: Try ADV’s patented Jiggle Meter.

you toube, you toube tsubasa, you toube sex: Porn, or Tsubasa Chronicle? You decide.

lolicon: Still popular.

big o new opening: My corrupt mind sees all sorts of possibilities in this innocent search.

danbooru alternative: Go and find one of the many other blogs who actually wrote about this.

dare to have sex: Be responsible, kids.

raw manga hop step jump: I’m neither Jeff Lawson nor a raw manga reader…sorry.

Stratos 4: The Admiral

Fat cat fans- rejoice at the release of this new Stratos 4 OVA, starring The Admiral herself! As this OVA reveals, the series’ chubby feline is actually a real admiral, and now it is up to her to save the earth from the largest meteor yet- by going up into space. With General/Shogun as her co-pilot, The Admiral will brave high altitudes in her experimental new ship, boldly going where no cat has gone before! Look forward to it!

Red Garden: Setting the bar for angst
Want to know the best excuses and situations for angst? Look no further.

1. Your mother is ill and your father is working away from home, forcing you to look after your increasingly irritating siblings.
2. The man you like is actually evil, whilst your HARD YURI sorority fellows are continually checking on your activities.
3. You find all your friends irritating and shallow no matter what they do, but in order to get decent conversation, you must drink bitter coffee with your teacher and get accused of having an affair with him.
4. You barely have enough money to pay the rent, but pride insists that you quit your job (only to return later), live away from your father (but borrow money from your brother) and skip classes since education and qualifications could not possibly land you a job better than flipping burgers.
5. Your previously nameless and generally bland brother has just died, but you must continue to fight despite the hindrance of your oversized lips.
6. Your cousin is dead and your sister is dying, but since you are surrounded by an evil faction, all you can do is be evil.

Zipang Pick ‘n’ Mix

The generics sense that a HARD GAY encounter may be imminent.

The named characters remain evasive for fear of having to invite the generics into their bed.

“Your HARD GAY is now most impressive.”

“The only way to find out is to go to the bedroom and try them for ourselves.”

“Before that, I have to know if you are even up to the task of matching me in the bedroom.”

“I would hate for either one of us to die because of improperly performed HARD GAY.”

This one says it all.

Short parody: Escaflowne

Allen: I am bishie and I think I love you, Hitomi- what more do you need?

Hitomi: I’m sorry, but I prefer Van.

(Van: Damn women- the only lover I need is the Escaflowne itself).

A report comes in that a town has been attacked.

Hitomi: Oh no, it’s all my fault!

Allen: Damn, my lottery ticket wasn’t a winning one.

Hitomi: I’m so sorry, it was all my fault!

Van: You know, I never did get that toy sword I wanted as a child.

Hitomi: That was my fault too! Everything that has ever gone wrong in the history of humanity happened because of me!

Van: You know, maybe we should deal with your ego issues before we continue this quest.

The history of the moon in anime
Although it is most often confined to a presence in still shots, the moon has always held importance in anime. From wars between the Earth and the moon in the likes of YoakeNa and Turn A Gundam to visiting bases on the moon in Kurau and Planetes, the satellite remains the closest and more convenient place for off-world activities in science fiction. Perhaps surprisingly, however, the moon has also brought its legacy to Earth in the form of Busou Renkin’s Moonface (aka Lunar Nicholai), a man whose head can resemble any of the phases of the moon.

HARD YURI corner: Red Garden
Thanks to her insatiable love of HARD YURI, Lise took four separate lovers- Claire, Rose, Rachel and Kate. Following her death, the other four turned to each to form a HARD YURI unit, unaware that they were not mere HARD YURI lovers, but resurrected young women tasked with fighting men so that HARD YURI could flourish. Although they were initially scared to become experimental in their intense bedroom encounters, at the urging of their pimps Lula and JC, they learned to become more daring with their HARD YURI, with even the quiet and submissive Rose showing some spirit.

Unfortunately, everyone around them remains jealous of their HARD YURI bond, forcing them to stand up to young men fearful of HARD YURI and the HARD YURI members of the school’s Grace. Can their love survive?

OST Spotlight: Sousei no Aquarion OST 1
Yoko Kanno is certainly one of the most well known names as far as anime music goes, but when it comes to praising her work, the Aquarion soundtrack has yet to receive the attention it deserves. Although this OST is more skewed towards the classical side of her work, Kanno’s skill is still very much in evidence, proving that classical-style anime music does not have to be dull, repetitive or restricted to piano and strings. Alongside the slower and more grandiose themes, there is a healthy mix of catchy faster-paced tracks that carry the listener along for the ride. A strong offering, and one that is highly recommended to anyone who listens to anime music, however infrequently.

Notable tracks: Sousei no Aquarion (onii-sama to), Macho Battle, Max Bomber Girl, Michelle, Kikaitenshi Aquarion, Brown Horses, Dragon Reika, Pride~journey of grief, Omna Magni

Licensing Reactions

• Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (Geneon): Although it’s possible that they also have MariMite, SaiMono and Nanoha, I won’t talk about those until it’s official; however, as the presumable answer to the ANN competition, Higurashi at least must be a sure thing. Although I was temporarily won over by the creepy first arc and the goriness of Shion’s rampage, in retrospect Higurashi simply had too many weak points to be worth investing in.

Mini-rant: What’s my license?
Ah, who doesn’t remember the good old days? Chocolate bars were bigger, the internet was slower, and companies actually came out and told us which series they had licensed. In this new age, however, that is no longer the case- instead we have to be subjected to tedious viral marketing campaigns and “Guess the license” competitions at Anime News Network. Now, whilst this may have been an interesting gimmick to some when it first started, it seems I’m not the only one to be getting thoroughly fed up with it by now. All I care about is what has and hasn’t been licensed, so just announce it already! Do we expect to see “guess where the rapist struck?” or “which crime do you think this man committed?” on the news? Admittedly, anime licensing is less important, but do we really need to jump through hoops just to learn when a particular series is coming out on DVD? Just tell me straight how much to pay and when to pay it (if it is indeed worth buying at all)- that’s all I need to know.

In Your Reflection

This week’s head to head is between Chrono Crusade’s Joshua and Scrapped Princess’ Forsyth. Both are the blond haired brothers of the respective female leads, who are essentially good natured but have been forced by circumstances to live with the leads’ enemies.

Fashion police: Peorth
Ah, Peorth, I like your hairstyle, but why did you have to dress like a bondage queen? No doubt many people like it that way, and I have to admit it doesn’t look too bad if you glance at it out of the corner of your eye, but sadly, it doesn’t stand up to close inspection. The basic black bikini would be fine for a swimsuit episode, but aside from the fact that it looks a little too chilly and revealing for day to day wear, it is only made worse by the hideous orange buckle and strap combination (luckily she’s a goddess so we don’t have to worry about its defiance of the laws of physics). Unfortunately, the fingerless gloves and short boots in the same colour just serve to make the overall effect worse.

Fashion sense: D

Amusing Search Terms

ONE TOO MANY: Better cut back.

how to save in the diary on harvest moon: Sorry, but I can’t believe that someone is so incapable as to be unable to save their game in Harvest Moon.

Summer Days Episode: Ah yes, I remember that exact episode.

mai breast: Coming soon, Mai-Breast- all fanservice and no plot! Oh wait, that was Mai-Otome.

word round up: In the Word Round-Up, I review the most commonly used phrases of the week, such as “Hello”, “I’m fine”, and “I promise it will be done by next week”.

December 1^st: A truly great day, December 1^st, for it is the first of December. Don’t tell anyone I told you, though.

“Love it or loathe it”: marmite?

sei4C: I wish I could say something witty about this.

NOIR / WE HAD TO LET YOU HAVE IT: This must be a line from the HARD YURI Noir sequel.

game maker sprite flames: Will RPG Maker sprite Robespierre do?

Lolicon: it’s getting popular again, to the extent of 50 searches on some days.

you toube basketball: It’s good to see you toube continuing to evolve.

large boobs: more H-cup.

Busou renkin hentai doujins: No, please…no.

how can use my audition perfect hack: I don’t know.

Harvest Moon gay love: Anton loves his wife, his horse and his chickens, but not other men.

auditionsea cash hack: Did I hear you say cash?

game characters: How specific.

My Meine Liebe Wieder: Yours? Are you the creator?

Dangerous love: Is it worth the risk?