It’s been a year of ups and downs, of anime gems and utter disappointments- a year when I’ve alternated between craving more and feeling utterly fed up with the continuing deluge of episodes that take no account of the fact that people might have other things to do than stay in and watch all day. Nonetheless, in true years-end tradition, we must review all the new series in an Annual Round-Up, a project which I meant to periodically update through the year but ended up writing at the last minute again.

As always, red titles are those which were dropped, and blues are the picks of the year. Come back on Tuesday for the New Year Rumble, in which we take a look at the year in the life of Azure Flame.

STILL RUNNING FROM 2006

Asatte no Houkou

The beginning of the year saw the end of Asatte no Houkou, a series that had started as a strong character drama and slice-of-life piece, but lost it somewhere with its slow pacing and plot contrivances. Ultimately, the series was a ‘curate’s egg’, good in parts but sorely lacking in others.
Final words: The series may have been called ‘The Direction of the Day After Tomorrow’, but sadly the plot sometimes lacked direction.

Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto

Last year, I labelled the emerging Iroha as a tentative pick of the year, but in retrospect, it was more silver than the gold tier it seemed at first. Despite remaining generally enjoyable throughout, the series got mired in a repetitive storyline, numerous historical cameos and an ending that defied sense and explanation.
Final words: Good for those who like action or historical series, but sadly not worthy of entering the hall of classics.

Busou Renkin

Ah, Busou Renkin, a series replete with cheesiness, ridiculous special abilities and Shounen Jump clichés- on the surface of it, hardly something worth writing home about, and yet an important series in its own right. A prime parody candidate, every week of Busou Renkin brought more hilarity than the creators had ever meant to include as Kazuki found himself torn between the worlds of HARD GAY, STRAIGHT and BI.
Final words: I wouldn’t actually watch the series ever again, but parodying it was a lot of fun- blogging hasn’t been the same since.

Le Chevalier d’Eon

At the end of last year, Chevalier was going strong, and it lost very little of its appeal as it moved into its closing episodes. Yes, the ending didn’t make a great deal of sense on close inspection, but with strong characters, worthy action scenes and an unfaltering sense of historical atmosphere, Chevalier remained enjoyable throughout.
Final words: Good enough to parody twice.

La Corda d’Oro

Last year, I had an optimistic view of Corda; this time around, the tale of a Neoromance reverse harem would surely have decent characters and some kind of a plot- or so I thought. Unfortunately, it was not to be- whilst our lead cheated her way through the music competition with a magical violin, the shallow supporting characters and slow pacing did nothing to disguise the general lack of substance.
Final words: Another game adaptation hardly worth writing home about.

Death Note

I enjoyed the Death Note manga, but in anime form, it wasn’t a series that could work for me- the long exposition scenes never seemed suited for an animated format, and attempts to bring the story to life only made Light seem overly theatrical under his red spotlight. After many episodes of thinking “well, the next arc will be better”, I decided to terminate my relationship with the series.
Final words: It didn’t flourish in animated format.

Kanon

As we must all know by now, after the first few episodes, Kanon failed to do much for me- Yuuichi was always too sarcastic and cruel to the girls, who were in turn too one-dimensional to do anything about it. Despite the series’ attempts to tug at the heartstrings, overall it failed to ignite for me, ending up as only another excuse for parody.
Final words: Sad girls in snow don’t make me cry.

Mai-Otome Zwei

Most trainwrecks have the grace to stop and let the rescue crew hunt for survivors, but not Mai-Otome- it just keeps rumbling on. Aside from one or two good action scenes, this whole OVA proved to be a waste of time, introducing a pointless enemy and filling every spare moment with character cameos and fanservice. There was no real reason to expect anything else, but why do I keep getting sucked into this franchise?
Final words: Why do I already know I’ll be watching the next sub-par Otome OVA?

Red Garden

Despite attempts to make its mark with a distinctive art style and a New York setting, Red Garden managed to utterly fail at either the horror or character drama it was presumably aiming for. With four angsty leads who spent most of their time whining or crying and a mystery that dragged on into a totally ridiculous conclusion, Red Garden was a largely dull experience that never rewarded the patience of those who dared to persevere with it.
Final words: Don’t bother with it. Really. It doesn’t get better later on.

Saiunkoku Monogatari

On the strength of its first season, SaiMono established itself as one of my favourites; far from the reverse harem series it first appeared, it actually proved to be an absorbing tale of intrigue, politics and character interaction as one woman chased her dream of becoming her country’s first female official. Of course, the attractive character designs don’t hurt, but to consider this series shallow just because of that would be to do it a great disservice.
Final words: I don’t see why anyone reading this blog wouldn’t have watched SaiMono yet, but if you haven’t, get to it now.

Shounen Onmyouji

A fairly generic tale of a young onymouji being sent to fight the strongest demons just because he happens to be the main character, Shounen Onmyouji was often pointless and rarely very good, but somehow managed to retain interest by having twelve spirit summons who were gradually introduced over the course of the series- and with many of them having little more than a basic appearance, the series even seemed to demand a second season in which to adapt more of the novels.
Final words: Large casts usually work against a series, but in this case it was a draw for an otherwise average series.

WINTER 2006/7
Winter is traditionally a slow month for anime, but could the fledgling 2007 break the curse of the cold months? Sadly, with only a couple of worthy series that were worth following to the end, it seemed that it could not.

Deltora Quest
Despite numerous failures, I’ve always kept my eye out for decent fantasy series, but sadly, Deltora Quest was not one of them. Despite being so packed with cliché and unintentional hilarity that it could have made a good parody candidate, the fact that the series needed to resort to budget saving flashbacks and stills as early as episode four was far from a good sign, and when the next episode proved to be even more dull and uneventful (consisting as it did of answering riddles), the series was quickly shelved, never to be touched again.
Final words: Classic fantasy in anime needs drastic reinvention.

Gakuen Utopia Manabi Straight
School comedies have always been hit or miss for me, and Manabi Straight struck right out in its first episode. With an energetic and clueless lead who somehow becomes school president, Manabi Straight didn’t do a great deal for me, and was quickly assigned to the Recycle Bin.
Final words: Not for me.

Ichigo Mashimaro OVA

Basically a continuation of the TV series, the Ichigo Mashimaro OVA offered three more episodes of Nobue and the girls’ everyday adventures. Despite dragging a little in the second episode, overall the OVA was as entertaining as the TV series, with apt observations and polished delivery and timing turning basic activities into a source of amusement and entertainment.
Final words: A nice coda for a strong TV series.

Les Miserables Shoujo Cosette
As an attempt to adapt the original novel to a fifty-episode series aimed at the younger audience, Cosette seemed determined to make life hard for itself, and the results were appropriately unspectacular. With its emphasis on the Cinderella-esque life of Cosette, the series dripped with twee sentiments and overused plotlines to the exclusion of the good parts of the story.
Final words: Almost painful in its execution.

Maria-sama ga Miteru OVA

Prior to this OVA, I liked MariMite- despite all the angst, it managed to deliver a worthy tale of school life with a sprinkling of HARD YURI. Unfortunately, it was not a format that could make the transition to fifty-minute OVA episodes with any grace- everything became terribly long, drawn out and dull, whilst the HARD YURI content took advantage of its newfound freedom to reach new and unforeseen heights.
Final words: I’ll still be trying season four, but this OVA was a major setback for the franchise.

Nodame Cantabile

The only real noteworthy TV series from the winter season (aside from Hidamari Sketch and Himawari!!, both of which I still need to start), Nodame Cantabile promised to be ‘Honey and Clover with music’, but instead became tantalisingly inconsistent. At times, its insights into its two leads- one a technical genius, the other an intuitive talent- made it compelling viewing, but all too often the off-kilter humour and wacky side characters ruined the mood, whilst an air of Shounen Jump “let’s level up and make the strongest orchestra!” always lurked in the background. Despite these flaws, however, Nodame was overall a worthwhile investment of time, and with the manga still ongoing, a second season would be welcomed.
Final words: Snatches of greatness kept the series appealing even as the wackier elements suggested switching off would be the way to go.

SPRING 2007
Spring is usually the best season for anime, and indeed there were lots of promising contenders right out of the gate. When it came to the long haul, however, which would make it to the finish line, and which would run out of steam?

Bokurano
As readers may know, I love, adore and worship the Bokurano manga, and so I was delighted to hear that it was going to be adapted into an anime…right up until the moment I heard Studio “adaptation trainwreck” Gonzo would be handling it. Nonetheless, I went into the series with an open mind, only to find disappointment with major story changes and a complete lack of tension in the pacing- worse yet, the director himself claimed that he didn’t even like the original! I took his advice and chose not to watch any more.
Final words: If someone tries to pretend this anime even existed, I shall stick my fingers in my ears and sing loudly.

Claymore

I’ve managed to upset many Claymore fans by not rating the manga very highly, but let’s face it- faults aside, I’m still reading after seventy-four chapters and I do want to know how it’s all going to turn out. The same could not be said for the anime, which bucked me off like a recalcitrant horse after a mere eleven episodes thanks to uninspiring characters, dull fight scenes and a washed out colour scheme.
Final words: Give me Berserk any day.

Darker than Black

During its early episodes, I had the highest of hopes for Darker than Black- it seemed slick, well directed and packed with the perfect mix of exposition, mystery and action. Unfortunately, despite such a strong start, the series soon began to flounder, adopting a pacing more suited to a fifty-episode series as it introduced minor characters, packed in last minute explanations and generally failed to live up to those early days. Even Yoko Kanno’s work on the music didn’t seem up to her usual high standard, ensuring that no aspect of the series really lived up to its potential.
Final words: Darker than Black it may be, but it wasn’t better than good.

Dennou Coil

Ah, Dennou Coil, how much more can I praise you? I accept that this series wasn’t perfect, but if you’ll excuse the lapse into informality, it was damn close. Never before has a series so deserved to be lavished with internet praise along the lines of 1337, awesome and w1n, all thanks to an intriguing setting and story, combined with memorable and well developed characters. Mere words alone are not enough to praise this series, which was surely the best offering of 2007.
Final words: I worship at the shrine of Dennou Coil, and encourage others to join.

El Cazador de la Bruja

Better known as “El Caza-bore”, this third instalment in Bee Train’s girls-with-guns series did indeed contain girls and guns, but not in any combination that produced action. Instead, what we got was the most dreary road trip through a version of Latin America that contained only cacti, roadside diners and various other dusty clichés. Just watching all twenty-six episodes was an effort in itself, and one I only pursued for the sake of creating a superior parody version of events.
Final words: You haven’t experienced boredom until you’ve watched El Cazador.

Heroic Age
A series about a character named Age rather than an age of heroes, Heroic Age tried to create an epic setting involving space battles, legendary tribes and the like, but somewhere along the line it all became a dull universe populated by rejects from other Xebec series. With even the cameraman opting to stay well back from the action, there seemed little reason for anyone else to try to examine it closely.
Final words: Another average offering from Xebec.

Hitohira
A series about a shy girl who gets so nervous that she can’t speak (yet somehow gets into the drama club due to her occasional ability to shout), Hitohira was something I stuck with for a mere two episodes, before deciding that it wasn’t going to bring me anything particularly worthy. With forgettable characters and hints of HARD YURI, Hitohira seemed to patch together elements of other series like Tsuyokiss and Gokujou Seitokai- hardly a recommendation.
Final words: Like its lead, Hitohira remained quiet and unnoticed.

Koutetsu Sangokushi

As a fan of the Three Kingdoms era, I was looking forward to a series that would surely present it better than the forgettable 1990s effort- but sadly, despite superior production values, Koutetsu Sangokushi was not to be that series. Although Koutetsu should be praised for focusing on the kingdom of Wu, it loses points for its extreme levels of ridiculousness, from a super-HARD GAY gender-confused cast to the inclusion of special sentai powers for the main characters- somehow I just don’t remember these things happening in the original novel.
Final words: As far as historical adaptations go, this one is just laughably ridiculous.

Lucky Star

A series that attracted both hate and adoration in adoration, Lucky Star did very little for me; I didn’t despise it, but for me it just did very little- episodes would pass by and I would sit in front of them, almost completely indifferent to them. Occasionally I would laugh, but much of the series was just white noise.
Final words: Ichigo Mashimaro and Minami-ke make everyday life amusing, but Lucky Star just rambles on and on.

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS
The first two seasons of Nanoha weren’t great, but they won me over with their attractive character designs and worthy action scenes; sadly, the first thing StrikerS did was to introduce new characters to an already bloated cast and throw out actual battle in favour of training against robots. Whilst the leads were forced to wear limiters to remove their God Modes, everything was left in the hands of the newbies, whilst what had once been a simple world of magical girls fighting evil became tied up in pointless bureaucracy. It may have improved later on, but after six episodes, I bailed out.
Final words: No more Nanoha for me.

Murder Princess
An OVA from Bee Train, Murder Princess told the tale of a princess and a bounty hunter who rather randomly end up swapping bodies, but unfortunately, what looked like it would at least be a mildly entertaining fantasy series was ruined by ridiculous elements such as a mad scientist and his two loli androids. In the end, even a mere six episodes of this seemed like too much.
Final words: Nice character designs, shame about the rest.

Oh! Edo Rocket

With its low profile and childish-looking character designs, Oh! Edo Rocket initially didn’t seem like something worth watching- but how wrong I was. After some positive recommendations, I reversed my position and took the plunge, and it was eminently worth it. A series so crazy that you cannot help but love it, Oh! Edo Rocket is nominally about a fireworks maker trying to create a rocket that can go to the moon, but there is much more packed into it- from secret ‘Men in Black’ with special powers to aliens, monsters and a metric ton of pop culture references. It’s crazy, hilarious, sometimes a little dark, and a cut above pretty much every other anime that relies so heavily on humour and parody.
Final words: If Dennou Coil is the best series of the year, then this one must deserve the silver medal.

Romeo X Juliet

Adaptations come from many sources, but could anime really make something out of a Shakespeare play? Whether or not it could, Gonzo was determined to try, and in their usual fashion, they glanced at the original, threw it out of the window, and created a version that involved magical trees, flying horses and an aerial city that just happened to be named Neo Verona. Despite the general lack of similarity to the original, the series started well enough, and seemed as if it would go down as inoffensive light entertainment; unfortunately, as it progressed, the plot became ever more lacking and ridiculous, whilst the leads hardly inspired one to care for their plight. In the end, it found its greatest worth in the parody arena.
Final words: Romeo X Juliet? More like Ridiculous X Joke.

Saiunkoku Monogatari II

After such a strong first series, was it any surprise that I wanted more SaiMono? Unfortunately, with subs having dried up, I had to go it alone into the domain of raws, which for such a dialogue-heavy series meant relying on Impz and usagijen to help me through. Unfortunately, this approach distances me a little from the action, so that whilst I still enjoy the series and think it is good, it just doesn’t hook me in as it did before. Is it the complex web of storyline that I can’t follow in raw, the introduction of a few too many new characters, or the decision to slow down the pacing a bit to accommodate the fact that the series is catching up with the novels?
Final words: I love it, but I want to spend more time exploring the main characters- maybe a full immersion in the world of the series is what is needed.

Sakura Taisen New York
Having enjoyed the first two Sakura Wars OVAs and the TV series, I felt it was high time to branch out into the later OVAs- only to discover that with New York, I had chosen a poor place to start. With a brand new lead and his harem of shallow girls, this failed attempt to recapture the original Sakura Taisen magic completely and utterly fell flat, forcing me to abandon it by its second episode.
Final words: The original cast cannot be bettered.

Seirei no Moribito

It had the most beautiful of settings, but after a strong early start, that ultimately seemed to be all Seirei no Moribito could offer. Although its slow and tranquil pacing satisfied some, for me it was a case of being a series where not only did nothing ever happen, but it took a long time about not happening. There were a few worthy action scenes, but the rest of the series was drenched in sitting and talking- and so many episodes of static conversation can grow stale.
Final words: Instead of making anime, let’s just sit and talk about it.

Shining Tears X Wind
RPG adaptations are renowned for not being up to much, and when the source material is reputedly “the worst RPG ever” (and its sequel), you can’t really expect much. Even so, Shining Tears somehow managed to achieve new levels of awfulness, with its pointless and forgettable leads, incongruous elements (tanks and lasers in a fantasy kingdom) and general lack of anything that can be praised. I once considered Disgaea to be the worst anime ever, but this series has taken that spot.
Final words: It was a pile of Shining Tears X Wind.

Shinkyoku Soukai Polyphonica

Despite having encountered disappointment with the likes of YoakeNa, I still found myself drawn to eroge and visual novel-based series with worthy character designs- hence my brief relationship with Polyphonica. Unfortunately, even the lovely Corticarte could not disguise the fact that Polyphonica was pretty much entirely pointless filler- and when a beach episode appeared as early as episode three, I knew it was time to bail out.
Final words: Have I learned my lesson this time? I hope so.

SKULLMAN
Skullman, Skullman, does whatever a skull can…sits motionless, on a shelf- well, you get the idea. Based on a retro manga and series, SKULLMAN was not a series well-adapted for life in the twenty-first century, and by its first episode it was already floundering. With spoilers on wikipedia recounting a miserable background and fate for the eponymous anti-hero, it hardly seemed watching any more.
Final words: He’s a man… with a skull for a head! Bet you couldn’t guess that from the title, eh?

Victorian Romance Emma Second Act

The first season of Emma was highly enjoyable, but the fact that it only covered two volumes of the manga left the story hanging. With that in mind, a second season seemed a true blessing, although ultimately it was not one that was handled as well as it could have been. Despite having a further five volumes to cover and only twelve more episodes to do it in, Second Act began with a filler episode, before proceeding to cut out large chunks of the story (although admittedly the manga storyline of Emma being kidnapped and taken to America had seemed a little farfetched at the time). All in all, it was still a highly worthy series, just not as good as it could have been.
Final words: You can’t go wrong with Emma, but this still didn’t quite live up to its potential.

Wellber no Monogatari ~Sisters of Wellber~

The tale of a thief and a princess trying to flee one country and make it to another before a deadline, Wellber was another of those series that didn’t seem to bring anything original to the table, but nonetheless appeared entertaining enough to watch. Unfortunately, elements such as predictable storylines and a talking tank conspired against it, but overall it just managed to pull through as a piece of light entertainment- not least because of the unintentional hilarity that cropped up in most episodes.
Final words: Mildly entertaining.

SUMMER 2007
In principle, summer is when everyone is enjoying themselves in the great outdoors- and so why bother to air much in the way of good anime? Still, given the poor showings of summer 2005-6, 2007 might just have the edge over them with its single digit selection.

Baccano!

With a wealth of named characters and a timeline that jumped back and forth through early 1930s America, Baccano was never the easiest series to follow, and indeed, even now I cannot say I had much of a clue what was going on throughout large chunks of it. Even so, the sheer enthusiasm and attack which the series brought to our screens was so infectious that one could not help but enjoy it- whether it was a tense shootout or just Isaac and Miria getting up to their usual antics, Baccano was always entertaining- and with many more novels left to adapt, hopes for a second season are high.
Final words: Every season needs a good historical series, and this was the summer’s candidate.

Doujin Work

A short series focusing on a young woman who believes she can make her fortune drawing doujinshi, Doujin Work was never going to be anything very special, but despite the budget animation and predictable jokes, it was somehow entertaining. And with the actual episodes running at only fourteen minutes (the rest of the time slot was taken up with a live action guide to making doujinshi), it isn’t a huge investment in time either.
Final words: Light entertainment done right.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kai

After the first season, Higurashi had generally failed to impress, but having embarked upon the franchise, I felt I had to carry it through- a feeling that eroded with every week of watching Kai. Everything just felt so drawn out and over the top, especially Satoko’s situation (I would applaud the series for at least having a go at tackling the difficult subject of child abuse, but then again, is that something I really want to watch for entertainment?). Even the introduction of Hanyu to the mix couldn’t save the plot, and in the end I decided to leave the citizens of Hinamizawa to their miserable fate.
Final words: It fails in the execution.

Mononoke

Having been largely bored by Ayakashi, I approached its spin-off with caution- what if it was more of the same excruciatingly slow pacing? Nonetheless, having watched and enjoyed Requiem from the Darkness right before it started to air, I decided to take the plunge, and although Mononoke did indeed have its weak points, it turned out the be the right decision. With an intriguing lead character, unique art style and slicker direction than its predecessor, Mononoke managed to hit all the right notes for supernatural fantasy. A second season would not go amiss.
Final words: It succeeded because it didn’t have ‘Ayakashi’ in the title.

Mushi-Uta

Call me shallow, but the whole reason I wanted to watch Mushi-Uta was because the title seemed to label it as the bastard son of Mushishi and Utawarerumono. In fact, aside from a masked character who resembled Hakuoro, it bore very little resemblance to either, but after a shaky start, Mushi-Uta finally came up with the goods. Although the mixture of giant bug battles and high school life was often confusing, and in spite of the fact that I could barely get a grip on the characters’ names, the story slowly drew me in, to the extent that I even cared about the fate of a minor character. As with several other series this year, it needs a second season.
Final words: Sometimes randomly picked choices can work out well after all.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei

Since the blogworld once had its own Hopeless Sensei, this anime seemed almost destined to be watched, and happily it was a series well suited to SHAFT’s randomness. A classroom comedy with a twist of bleak despair, Sensei was much like any other comedy- funny when it hit the mark, but somewhat random and a little tedious when it didn’t. Coupled with a distinctive high contrast art style, it made the series memorable and unique, but not always for the right reasons.
Final words: Somewhat inconsistent, but with some highly worthy moments.

Tetsuko no Tabi
It’s hard for me to really appraise Tetsuko no Tabi since out of thirteen episodes I’ve only seen a badly subbed version of the first one, but nonetheless I’ll include it for completeness. A series based on actual train journeys, Tetsuko no Tabi had an interesting enough first episode, but without more material to work with, I can’t really form a proper opinion on this.
Final words: Won’t anyone sub this?

Zombie-Loan
DearS never looked promising, and Peach-Pit had already disappointed me with Rozen Maiden, but nonetheless for some reason I just had to try Zombie-Loan. Unfortunately, the series proved to lack much in the way of appeal, coming across only as an inferior version of xxxHOLiC and Tokyo Babylon.
Final words: CLAMP already did it better.

AUTUMN 2007
Like the spring, the autumn is meant to be replete with series worth watching, but let’s face it- Autumn 2007 was a big fat disappointment. Yes, there were some good series, but somehow the preponderance of mediocrity combined with circumstances in the outside world ensured that anime enthusiasm reached new and previously unexplored lows.

Aria the OVA ~Arietta~
For those of us who needed more Aria to keep us going, this brief OVA would have to make do between the long-finished second and upcoming third seasons. There’s not much to say about it, really, other than that it was another gentle and tranquil half-hour of life in Neo-Venezia, and in fact proved to be so worthy that I sat and watched it without even wanting to disturb my concentration by taking screencaps.
Final words: Punyu!

Clannad

I enjoyed Air and disliked Kanon, so it seemed likely that Clannad would fall somewhere in between, and indeed, so far it has. With a more likable lead than Kanon, it immediately scores over its predecessor, but unfortunately there seems to be a limit to the number of “sad girls” stories one person can swallow before becoming a little blasé about the whole thing.
Final words: It’s not bad, but I just can’t fangirl over it.

ef- a tale of memories
Whilst Owen and the others raved over it in their multi-post extravaganza, ef for me was a title that needed to be put on hiatus after episode three- the idea of someone being unable to retain their memories for more than thirteen hours was intriguing, but watching ef felt like following three different series, of which only one was worth following. I shall one day go back and watch the rest of the season in one go, but it wasn’t something where I wanted to put the effort of watching weekly.
Final words: I’ll get back to it…later.

Genshiken II
I enjoyed the first season of Genshiken, and so it seemed a foregone conclusion that the second would strike gold as well- after all, it had the rest of the original manga to work with. And indeed, Genshiken 2 quickly launched back into familiar territory, with familiar situations, character development and the sad realisation that many of our favourite personalities were graduating and moving on.
Final words: Now onwards to the manga.

Gundam 00
After Seed Destiny, my relationship with the Gundam franchise hit something of a rocky patch, so much so that it would take something far better than the usual Sunrise fare to repair it. Sadly, Gundam 00 wasn’t about to do that for me, and after a few episodes of pointless factions and a group who planned to enforce world peace by instigating wars, I decided to put the whole series on the heating element behind the normal back-burner.
Final words: Watching it can wait until 2008.

Hero Tales
With a name like ‘Hero Tales’, it was pretty obvious that this series wasn’t going to be up to much- even the FMA mangaka couldn’t really weave a good story about a boy with a destined sword. After watching an episode to assess its parody potential, I decided that even the gods of parody couldn’t expect me to watch something so boring in aid of a few laughs, and so it was put aside.
Final words: As original as its title.

Kaiji

Series dripping with GAR MANLINESS aren’t usually my thing, but having enjoyed Akagi so much, it seemed only logical to see what Madhouse could make of one of the mangaka’s other works- ‘Gambling Apocalypse Kaiji’. Whilst Kaiji is more emotional and less cold than Akagi, the twists and turns of his story are still worthy viewing- although one cannot help feeling a little sorry for poor Kaiji as his mammoth efforts in trying to win games dreamt up by sadistic yakuza only seem to result in him getting ever more in debt. I fear that twenty-six episodes won’t be enough for this series.
Final words: This series should be shown to everyone who finds themselves in danger of incurring debt.

Minami-ke

Keen for an extra dose of Ichigo Mashimaro, I went forth into Minami-ke, a similar tale about the everyday lives of three sisters. Despite trepidation that it would turn into another Lucky Star, Minami-ke had the required wit and delivery to make it entertaining rather than dull, and already a second season (albeit a retelling rather than a sequel) is set to air this January.
Final words: Forget choco cornets, melon pan and taiyaki, this year’s in-food is cream stew.

Mokke

Ever since enjoying Shrine of the Morning Mist, I’ve been on the lookout for the next entertaining silver/bronze tier supernatural series, and Mokke seems to be it. It may not be anything special, but the episodic tales of a pair of sisters- one who can see spirits, the other who gets possessed by them- has largely proven to make for enjoyable viewing, and the addition of a cat with special powers is just the icing on the cake.
Final words: Bronze tier entertainment.

Moyashimon

As the latest series to air in the vaunted noitaminA block (I know it’s ‘Animation’ spelt backwards, but it still sounds like some kind of vitamin or mineral to me), Moyashimon had a lot to live up to, but fortunately, all it needed was its uniqueness to make it a hit. Unappealing as a series about microbes may sound, when you take into account the fact that to our lead these microbes look rather cute, the whole thing takes on a new dimension; in fact, you wouldn’t go far wrong if you were to watch the series for this novelty alone. Fortunately, the rest of the content is solid enough, even if the characters are a little wacky.
Final words: I never once thought I’d say that I wanted a plushie of Aspergillus oryzae, but I want one.

Rental Magica
Where the search for supernatural light entertainment brought some successes in 2007, it also racked up a few failures, and Rental Magica was one of them. Populated by rejects from other series, Rental Magica seemed sure to at least mildly interest with its episodic tales of a company of magic users solving problems, but apart from a master of cat shikigami, there was little to engage the viewer.
Final words: Something to go back to when you have absolutely nothing else to watch.

Shakugan no Shana II

Even though I enjoyed it at the time, in retrospect the original Shakugan no Shana had a lot wrong with it- not least of which were the pointless and uninspiring villains. Even so, a second season would surely forge ahead into interesting and unknown parts of the novel series- or maybe not. For instead, Shana II decided to diverge into an uninteresting game-based tale that seemed determined to shake off all but the most devout of fans. With last season’s confession revoked and the love polygon once again taking hold, it seemed as if this was one series worth bailing out of.
Final words: There’s completion, and then there’s masochism- watching Shana II was surely the latter.

Sketchbook ~full color’S~

Every year needs a good slice-of-life series, and whilst Sketchbook was not to be in the Aria/YKK class, it was still an enjoyable series, not least because of the high volume of cats and fat chickens contained therein. Although it times it seemed as if it was trying too hard to capture a calm atmosphere that should just come naturally, Sketchbook was still worth watching, and after initially thinking little of the shy and quiet lead, after a while I began to identify with her- all too often I end up thinking a lot more than I actually end up saying (but no more! Now I shall never shut up!).
Final words: Full of cats.

And so, 2007 has shown us both good and bad (much like every year, really) and all we can do is await 2008 and the offerings it shall bring us. See you next year!

HITS

Last Exile

It should be no secret that I love Last Exile. I’ll admit it wasn’t perfect- the ending left a little to be desired and I desperately wanted to spend more time in the series’ world, but what it did offer us is generally nothing short of excellent. With its likable characters, interesting story, high speed vanship sequences and incredible attention to detail, Last Exile stands head and shoulders above the rest. tj han claims that Last Exile is the bible, and I am inclined to agree.

Memorable moments: The visit to the Guild, any aerial battle.

Gankutsuou
Although it took many liberties with the original material, Gankutsuou’s unique art style and absorbing art style ensured that it was still able to emerge as a rare and powerful success for Gonzo. Despite all their other failures at marrying visuals and story, this was the one time when the studio proved that they could combine an aesthetically pleasing setting with a sound plot to create an engaging tale of intrigue and revenge.

Memorable moments: “Mesdames, Messieurs, bon soir…”

Saikano

Saikano has long been the subject of mixed opinions- for some viewers the lack of detail given to the back story and the amount of tears shed was simply too much, but for those of us who enjoyed it, it was a powerful and moving series. Less a tale of war than that of a love story set against the backdrop of war and various related circumstances, Saikano is able to expertly wring emotion from any viewer who lets themselves be caught up in its world.

Memorable moments: too many to list.

Kaleido Star
Aside from the novelty of centring on a circus, Kaleido Star can easily be accused of following standard story conventions a little too closely, but even so, that does not prevent it from being an enjoyable experience. Much like Love GetChu (albeit a superior version of that series), it may be predictable, but it’s still a lot of fun.

Memorable moments: realising that the trapeze looks pretty terrifying.

NEUTRALS

Full Metal Panic
Since ADV managed to create the impression that Full Metal Panic was a series you absolutely had to watch, I went into it expecting something in the way of quality, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t really get into it. There were moments when it was entertaining, but with its lack of attention to the more mysterious elements such as the Whispered, and the inclusion of the world’s most boring mecha and combat scenes ensured that FMP would not prosper until it got into KyoAni’s hands. Gauron’s continual appearances were also cause for annoyance.

Memorable moments: Tessa learning to pilot a mecha.

Chrono Crusade
Brightly coloured character designs and nuns with guns- it seemed like a recipe for success, but unfortunately the result was far more hit and miss. For every episode that was actually worthwhile, there seemed to be an equal number of utterly pointless instalments where nothing really happened, or what did happen was never developed well enough to engage the viewer. A failed opportunity that ultimately gave us some nice visuals, but little else.

Memorable moments: Young Rosette and Joshua finding Chrono.

Samurai 7

I was initially going to class Samurai 7 as a miss, but since there were stretches of the story when it was actually quite enjoyable, I decided to upgrade it. Despite the dubious decision to transform content intended for a two hour film into a twenty-six episode series (not to mention adding mecha in the process), Samurai 7 does manage to hit the mark on occasion, even if every good scene is matched by either a dull or a laughably bad one (just think of “oh, and by the way, my previously unmentioned wife was captured by the Nobuseri”).

Memorable moments: The mecha bandits getting cut to pieces, Kanbe’s aerial rescue of Kirara.

Peacemaker Kurogane
Although it cannot be said to particularly good, Peacemaker slides into the neutral category by virtue of its sheer inoffensive mediocrity. There’s very little about it that marks it as good, but neither is there any reason to point it out as an example of awfulness- it is simply something you watch to pass the time and then promptly forget about. Perhaps in that way it perfect defines the concept of neutral, since it leaves no long-lasting impressions.

Memorable moments: There are one or two, actually, with the most notable one being the torture of poor Ayu.

MISSES

Hellsing
Unlike practically everyone else, I’m not too enthused with the Hellsing franchise as a whole, and so Gonzo’s lacklustre adaptation could only make it seem even worse. After a solid enough start, the series quickly trudged downhill into the realms of sheer boredom, proving a struggle to watch as various insipid evils showed up and were easily dispatched by God Mode Alucard.

Kiddy Grade
Despite the potential exuded by the trailer, Kiddy Grade proved to be one of these series that was little more than a sheer disappointment from start to finish, After a slow start filled with lacklustre standalone episodes, Kiddy Grade tried to pick up the pace with the unfolding mystery we’d all been waiting for, but promptly blew it by failing to explain anything satisfactorily, sidelining the more interesting supporting characters and ending with an utterly pointless final arc that brought into question the purpose of the entire series. I tried my utmost to like it, but in the end I was clinging more to my vision of what I wanted the series to be than what it actually was.

Gad Guard
With my reason for watching Gad Guard being as flimsy as the fact that I enjoyed Dai-Guard and the title sounded similar, I suppose I shouldn’t have expected much from it- and indeed, it had very little to deliver. With its bland characters, childish character designs, and unimaginative location names like “Night Town” and “Gold Town”, Gad Guard was never destined to amount to much, with even its attempts at a more meaningful plot ultimately going nowhere.

Gantz
Despite its notoriety, Gantz was never a series I could get on with- in fact, in due course I will be writing a full rant for it. Although the gratuitous violence and sexual overtones have won over a certain breed of fan, for the rest of us it plays out more like an adolescent boy’s wet dream- big guns, big breasts and a story that ultimately doesn’t seem to have much point. Worse yet, the series is hideously slow paced, to the point where you can only wince in pain as our heroes discover yet another incredibly ugly and hideous alien that has to be defeated before their time limit is up.

Burst Angel
I approached Burst Angel with the lowest of expectations, but still it managed to somehow produce something worse than anticipated. Even judged by the standards of light entertainment, Burst Angel is throwaway fluff of the highest order, with horribly bland and one-dimensional characters and a plot that fails to go anywhere until it ultimately boils down to a battle against the world’s most generic final boss (I defy even fans of the show to tell me what his name is off the top of their heads). Many people claim it is worthy for the presence of Jo alone, but I’m afraid even she isn’t enough to save Burst Angel from the ‘Miss’ category.

Black Cat
Although I watched only a single episode of the Black Cat anime, those twenty-five minutes were enough to persuade me not to pursue any more. Featuring a dull plot about a politician named Lib Tyrant (it still amuses me to wonder why anyone would vote for someone with such a name), Black Cat proved to be a turn-off from the start.

Welcome to the NHK
Even in the days when I was enjoying the NHK manga, I was wary about how Gonzo would handle this once darkly amusing series, and it turned out I was right to take that attitude. In the studio’s hands, the series turned into a mixture of tediously drawn out monotony and dango-fed insanity, neither of which proved much of a substitute for actual entertainment. And although I have mentioned this at least twice before, the fact that they messed up the ‘ultimate moe’ scene can never be forgiven, since that was pure hilarity in manga form.

Red Garden
Another ‘miss’ choice sure to inflame the fanboys, Red Garden may have caught the attention of some, but for me it was a procession of sheer boredom. With its ridiculously convoluted storyline and numerous angst-drenched scenes, Red Garden never lived up to its potential, ultimately proving to be an unsatisfying experience.

Pumpkin Scissors
Another mixture of the generic and the laughably bad, Pumpkin Scissors may have just about made the grade for low impact entertainment, but only for those with extremely forgiving standards. The rest would have to make do with the parody version.

TOO EARLY TO TELL

Bokurano
Bokurano is one of my favourite manga series, and so it was with trepidation that I learned that Gonzo would be handling the anime adaptation- would they turn out a product so poor that it would make me come to dislike even the source material? Fortunately, despite the pacing being a bit on the slow side, the series has been a solid effort that retains the tension of the story’s dramatic reveals. With the manga as yet unfinished, it is clear that the anime will have to come up with its own ending later on, but so far all signs are pointing towards ‘hopeful’.

Romeo X Juliet
It may have impossible hair, flying horses and a complete lack of adherence to the original material, but so far Romeo X Juliet has at least been entertaining. It remains to be seen how it will fare as the series progresses and the inevitable angst builds up, but for now it remains on the watch list.

Final Thoughts
Be it coming up with their own ideas or adapting the work of others, it cannot be denied that for all their flashy CG tricks and added mecha, Gonzo can’t seem to overcome the key problems of telling a coherent and well paced story. Nonetheless, they have been able to hit the mark on a few occasions, and it is for that very reason that I must keep watching their work- after all, you never know when they might come up with the next Last Exile.

I also regret the missed opportunity to write an April Fool’s post extolling the virtues of Hello Kitty TV; oh well, maybe next year.

HARD YURI School of Angst
Coming this spring to an anime slot near you, enjoy HARD YURI School of Angst! Shouko has just started high school at the all girl YURI Academy, a place filled with intrigue, angst and lesbians galore! Meet the girls in this all-drama adventure, in which no event is too trivial to angst over!

• Sei: Beautiful head of the student council, known for taking a shine to innocent young girls.
• The Three Evil Lesbians: nameless student council lackeys who make life hell for our heroine.
• Nagi: A seductive upperclassmen who likes to break the rules. She and Sei are bitter rivals who shared a past secret relating to HARD YURI.
• Hana: A chirpy and forward girl who quickly becomes friends with Shouko- but does she want to be more than friends?
• Nanako: A shy meganekko who works in the library and secretly lusts for Shouko. She has a twin sister who has missed a year of school due to suffering from Sick Anime Girl Syndrome.
• Otome: Star of the kendo club, a ferociously athletic tomboy who absolutely hates men.

FullMetal Rozen Maiden
Welcome to the world of FMRM! A mysterious man known only as ‘Father’ has created seven Rozen Maiden Homunculi, each powered by a Rosa Mystica/Philosopher’s Stone. Now they must fight each other, with the winner earning a place as the main character of their own series.

Lust = Souseiseki (devotion to sister)

Gluttony = Hinaichigo (love of flower topped burgers)

Envy = Kanaria (jealous of main household)

Greed = Suiseiseki (wants everything for herself)

Wrath = Suigintou (angry at being considered junk by the others)

Sloth = Kirakishou (can’t be bothered to appear in storyline until later on)

Pride = Shinku (prideful personality in general)

Red Garden finale part I

Claire considers the merits of cross-dressing.

The Animus explain how it is vital for them to have their way with young women.

“Without her, HARD YURI seems so dry and pointless.”

Claire drops in to service her employer one last time.

“No one else wants to sleep with you, but I need the money.”

“Here’s your payment, then.”

“It wasn’t the best I’ve had, but I appreciate the effort.”

“You showed me the ropes when it came to HARD YURI.”

“…since we last slept together?”

“Far too long.”

“I did have HARD YURI with my sister, though.”

“What about Hyper Self Pleasure?”

“I didn’t know about Self Pleasure in those days.”

“I bet you don’t even know about the kinkier side of HARD YURI, do you?”

*NEW* This Week in Anime
Replacing “The history of … in anime” comes this new feature, where screencaps of notable features such as apples, poisonous mushrooms and the like are pointed out. Many of them will not actually be from this week, but will be dug out from the backlog.

One of the earlier appearances of gourds is charted.

Walnuts also began having importance around this time.

In the fruit wars, the strawberry subjugates some underlings in an attempt to build its own tasty empire.

Walnuts in more recent months, courtesy of Emma Bangaihen.

HARD GAY corner: Spiral
Having been taught HARD GAY by his brother Kiyotaka, Ayumu Narumi always felt jealous of his brother’s larger Zhuge Liang, an asset which overshadowed his even after Kiyotaka disappeared. Nonetheless, Ayumu finds himself drawn into the mystery of the Blade Children, perhaps in the hopes of getting access to their ‘blades’. After an encounter with Kousuke Asadzuki, Ayumu settles on the far bishier Eyes Rutherford as his prospective partner.

Unfortunately, all is not set to proceed smoothly for the couple, whose budding relationship is soon threatened by the arrival of Eyes’ former lover, Kanone Hilbert. A tense battle of wits begins as each man for Eyes’ love, with Ayumu finally learning to gain confidence in himself and HARD GAY by the end of it.

OST spotlight: .hack//SIGN OST 2
Living up to the first SIGN OST was never going to be an easy task, and it has to be admitted that this CD is the weaker of the two, sticking a little too closely to Kajiura’s standard themes. Nonetheless, there are some strong tracks here that offer the powerful blend of intense action and lingering melancholy first glimpsed in OST 1; in fact, the haunting ‘To Nowhere’ and fast-paced ‘In the Land of Twilight, Under the Moon’ are so good that all the other tracks are merely a bonus.

Notable tracks: Open Your Heart, In the Land of Twilight Under the Moon, Useless Chatting, To Nowhere.

Mini-editorial: Translating titles
When anime or manga series are licensed for distribution in the US, it may not always be a good marketing decision to retain the original title, but at the same, changing it may anger hordes of existing fans. When should a title be changed, and what should the alternatives be?

Many titles can come through the transition process intact, but when it comes to longer names like Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto which take a while to memorise and never really trip off the tongue, some sort of action is needed. Perhaps the best method is to shorten the title into something that doesn’t really mean anything in either English or Japanese, but are catchy monikers that retain the essence of the original (think Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou -> Kare Kano, Saishou Heki Kanojo -> SaiKano or Spiral: Suiri no Kizuna -> Spiral). The other option is to translate the title into English, but this may not trip off the tongue as easily (how many prefer to use ‘His and Her Circumstances’ for Kare Kano?) and in the case of some titles, may sound even more meaningless than the original Japanese name (think ‘The One Being Sung’ for Uta).

A third and perhaps much less desirable choice is to find a completely new English title for the series, and whilst few might argue that Mahō Tsukai ni Taisetsu na Koto/Things Precious to a Mage doesn’t have the same draw as Someday’s Dreamers, all too often there is the danger of ending up with a completely generic name like Chibi Vampire or the thankfully scrapped Shadow Warrior Chronicles.

Ultimately, many titles come through with no change or remark, but as always, the minority can still cause an upset. It cannot be denied that some English titles are a poor choice and that names like the aforementioned Shadow Warrior Chronicles shouldn’t be encouraged, but if the actual content is available and unedited, one could just as easily ask ‘what’s in a name?’.

In Your Reflection

In our second round of blonde shota, we focus exclusively on those from Neoromance games. First up is shy friend Shimon from Haruka 8, who we’ve seen here once before, but now he is accompanied by his spiritual brothers, sleepy cello player Shimizu from La Corda d’Oro, and Guardian Marcel from Angelique.

Fashion police: Ginji Amano
Short trousers are almost always a bad idea, but when coupled with a generic white t-shirt and a hideously coloured jacket, it can only ever be a recipe for disaster. Here Ginji shows how bad fashion decisions for each individual piece of clothing can only lead to an overall fashion disaster. It is also not recommended to wear this outfit when it gets even slightly cold.

Fashion sense: E-

Amusing Search Terms

Old favourites: lolicon, you toube sex, you toube, large boobs, hack perfect audition, bouncing breasts

Utawarerumono Sprite Rip: Actually, I’d like it if someone else did this for me.

busou renkin doujinshi: Not again.

Moe Kare manga download: Okay, so I finally found out what Moe Kare is, but tht doesn’t change the fact that I don’t have it available for download.

la corda d’oro episodes with english sub: Don’t do it! It’s too painful.

www Sasuke( And Black Ops): Sasuke is a black ops team member now?

saiunkoku monogatari S^M: S&M in SaiMono world?

pumpkin scissors season 2: Not yet.

toki out less: Perhaps she should get out more.

“busou renkin hentai”: “And then Papillon grabbed his throbbing member…”

RAMBALDI VS NOSTRADAMUS: Arguably Rambaldi won, since he had immortality and beautiful artefacts…oh wait, he wasn’t real.

“hard gay” sakujun: Actually, he’s BI.

anime acid trip: Cat Soup.

tsubasa chronicle episode 53, tsubasa third season: NOOOOOOOOO!!! It must never come to exist.

Harvest Moon tileset: In HM the RPG, one can fight as a cow or sheep.

DBZ RPG techniques: Genki Dama!

Marie Zhuge: Marie cannot be Zhuge, unless she has a hidden Liang.

“hard gay” busou renkin: You’ve come to the right place.

characters ikkitousen rmxp: With or without clothes?

gay machine: There’s a machine that churns out gay now, is there?

an anime about a girl who is chosen to e: If only the last part of the search was recorded

rpg maker xp dragonball Z resources: none.

may missing harvest moon: She’s at the beach- but only after 6pm.

high school parody 2: What happened to number one?

“roll on summer” phrase: Isn’t this a quote from Father Christmas?

“green spot” anime: Uh, yes, I know exactly what you mean.

Rumble Roses Doujinshi Download: Wrong place.

scrappy oh sei (anime): Is this a Scooby Doo version of Jyu-oh-sei?

Claire, Rose, Rachel and Kate may attend the same school on New York’s Roosevelt Island, but apart from sharing a friendship with a recently deceased girl named Lise, they are all very different people. Nonetheless, this unlikely quartet is thrown together when a mysterious woman named Lula enters their life with some shocking news- all four of them are already dead. Now, they are living on borrowed time, and it is time that will run out unless they follow Lula’s orders and dedicate their nights to fighting a succession of zombie-like men. Confused and afraid, but nonetheless desperate to uncover the truth behind their demise and resurrection, the four girls must now work together if they wish to balance their everyday lives with this strange new world that they have been thrust into…

There are times when you have to admire the power of words. For example, in the above paragraph, Red Garden may sound like quite an interesting series, which is why I must inform you at this point that it is, in fact, quite the opposite. A tedious mess of dull character angst and a plot so convoluted that it makes earlier Gonzo efforts look well-written, Red Garden’s only prowess lay in spanning the realm of mediocrity that lies between the laughably stupid and the tiresomely monotonous.

The Plot: I’m sick of giving spoiler warnings but I hate the comment flames even more
As we eventually come to discover, Red Garden is about (I must use words like ‘plot’ and ‘about’ somewhat loosely in this context) a battle between two opposing forces- the Animus and the Doral. Once, the Animus were in possession of two Cursed Tomes of magical plot powers, but the Doral thought it was a good idea to steal one of them, an act which seemed to achieve little more than damaging both sides. The Doral fell under a curse which fated their family members to eventually turn into grey slavering monsters, whilst the leaders of the Animus became immortal yet immobile characters who were so well developed and essentially important to the story that we were only introduced to them in the penultimate episode.

Flash forward to the present day, and events have reached breaking point. Despite having a near infinite number of generic men and no restriction on marrying outsiders (one character, Emilio, is even engaged to Kate’s sister), the Doral are down to their last two females, and so, if possible, they would like to resolve things within the next twenty-two episodes. To that end, they capture Lise’s re-animated body in the hopes that she can become the Holy Mother-esque figure who will breed life back into their clan, presumably by having an ultra-resistant body that will not fall prey to the curse.

On the other side of the fence, the Animus seem to have committed themselves to fighting the Doral, by sending out teams of dead high school girls in replacement bodies to tackle the slavering monsters (who conveniently have arranged to only appear at night). At this point, you could be forgiven for thinking that if you’re going to rely on dead girls instead of trained professionals, you could as least give them some weaponry and possibly even a crash course in how to shoot straight, but alas, this is not the case. The re-animated bodies (the original corpses are kept in storage) even have enhanced physical capabilities, but why bother to tell the girls about that when they can figure it out by trial and error? In short, it’s like ‘Gantz for Girls’, only a lot less gratuitous and somewhat more pointless.

As the latest four woman team to join the roster, Claire, Rose, Rachel and Kate now have to keep their evenings free in case their handler Lula “large lips” and her dull brother JC need them to fight (to give you an idea of just how interesting a character JC is, I must admit that I didn’t realise he was Lula’s brother or even had a name until he was killed off later in the series). The punishment for not showing up to fight is to lose their second lease of life- or is it? That may have been the case earlier in the series, but later on the writers completely forget about this, and let the girls have a night off whilst Lula stepped in for them- begging the question as to why they are needed at all if it so easy for Lula to take over (or alternately, why didn’t Lula call in another team?).

Anyway, whatever the case, through various bursts of angst, our four heroines fight a succession of slavering grey men, whilst the side of evil gets a non-generic face in the shape of blonde bishie Hervé. Hervé’s cousin and sister are the last two remaining Doral females, and thanks to his intense feelings of siscon, he resists the general consensus to give up on them and focus all efforts on Lise. In fact, he does have a point- twenty episodes later, Lise proves a failure and when even the brief capture of Kate yields nothing, the Doral have to admit that everything they have done during the series has essentially been pointless, and what they should have been aiming for was to take the second Cursed Tome away.

The finale may be fast approaching, but having discovered that they are stuck in immortal bodies and will eventually lose their memories (what happened to being returned to their original bodies?), the leads cannot act straightaway, instead devoting an episode to saying goodbye to supporting characters whilst practically the entire female contingent of their school reveals themselves to be affiliated with the Animus in one way or another (only women can be revived after death, perhaps due to the fact that they only possess the one book now). If the plot made little sense before, then this must be the point where it becomes totally ridiculous, as Roosevelt Island (population 9000+ in real life) somehow not only becomes solely inhabited by the leads and generic Doral and Animus members, but also magically becomes separated from the mainland when the bridges leading to it are blown up.

If this were any other series, the conclusion would involve a final boss battle, but even here Red Garden manages to produce something rather more disappointing. Whilst generics from both sides fight and turn to dust, a by-now deranged Hervé carries his beloved sister around whilst searching for the second Cursed Tome. Since we discovered a few episodes ago that Hervé and the other non-slavering Doral somehow also have enhanced physical capabilities, he proves up to having a brief punch-up with Kate before Lula steps in and sacrifices herself to get in a hit. At this point, I was fully expecting Hervé to run away transform into a hideous beast invested with the ‘ultimate’ power from two books, but alas, even this hope for a mediocre ending was replaced by the reality of an awful one. Hervé does indeed run away, but once he reaches the final boss room he instead concentrates on having sex with his sister killing his sister when she awakens as a monster, before apparently dying from all the wounds that have been inflicted on him (I’m not 100% convinced that he is in fact dead, and wouldn’t be surprised if he returns to be a final boss in the OVA).

With Hervé now out of the picture, our heroines coincidentally meet up with Lise (who has a tendency to randomly wander around) and retrieve the book that Hervé conveniently brought with him. Upon showing it to the masters of the Animus, its magical plot powers awaken, enabling the Animus masters to die, and leaving the four leads alone and apparently immortal on the island as Lise crumbles to dust and the whole place gets covered in pinkish-red flowers (the red garden of the title). Exactly what they will do now and how the inhabitants of New York will adapt to the sudden appearance of such a garden in the middle of the city remains unknown- quite possibly to the writers as well as the viewers.

The Characters: Coming soon to a soap opera near you
With such a confusing, convoluted and ultimately poorly written plot, the writers often needed to take time off for a type of intense and endless angst they liked to call ‘character development’. In the early episodes, this was accompanied by the leads singing awful insert songs, but luckily this practice was soon forgotten.

There is something to be said for realism in anime, and that is that said realism should not be overdone. Were I to find out that I had died and now had to fight slavering men, I probably wouldn’t take it in the best of moods, but when watching such things on screen, I don’t want to see the leads running away and crying during the fight, and later angsting about what they have done. Unfortunately, this is just what we see in Red Garden, as our heroines steadfastly attempt to cling onto their general uselessness for as long as they possibly can.

• Kate: A member of the school’s sorority/student council Grace, Kate was expected to give out tickets to rule breakers and latecomers, but when her main character duties started affecting her duties, fellow Grace members became annoyed with her. Fortunately, the leader of Grace (an Animus affiliate who just happened to have HARD YURI feelings for Kate) always backed her up, but tensions still remained.

Worse yet, not content to stick with HARD YURI, Kate decides to start dating her girlfriend’s fiancé’s friend, who just happens to be Hervé (somehow even Lula and JC fail to notice this, despite keeping tabs on her). In time, she discovers that Hervé is in fact evil, and has the great idea of phoning him from just outside Doral headquarters. Needless to say, she gets captured, although she is rescued within the space of an episode.

• Claire: Having become estranged from her career orientated father, Claire lives on her own and constantly struggles to pay her bills. Despite this, she lets pride get in the way of common sense when her pay is docked for neglecting work (again for main character duties) and storms out, only to face a life of destitution and an inability to land any other form of employment. After being forced to borrow money from her brother Randy (and thus indirectly from her father, since Randy borrowed it from Dad in order to set up a business) she swallows her pride and takes back her old job. Meanwhile, Randy’s business fails and he gets into a car accident, but luckily for all concerned, he eventually makes a recovery, whilst Claire even has a reconciliation of sorts with her father.
• Rose: Given that she has to look after her two bratty siblings whilst her mother is in hospital and her father is away trying to earn money by working at a construction site (just come and look after your damn kids), I might actually feel sorry for Rose- if only she wasn’t so annoying. The most whiny and ineffectual of the girls, Rose is the doormat’s doormat, a woman with so little spine that her strongest attack skill is ‘Cry’. It takes her about two third of the series to actually become useful in any way, although perhaps this is better than nothing.
• Rachel: The trendy girl of the group, Rachel initially likes hanging around with her shallow friends and boyfriend Luke (or is that Rook?), picking out the latest fashions in clothing and make-up. After her resurrection, she begins to tire of this, leading to friction with her friends, and tension in her love life, especially after her new fondness for having coffee with a teacher leads everyone to believe she is having an affair with him.
• Hervé: The blonde bishie of evil, Hervé was dating Lise until he ended up overseeing the murder of her and the leads. Having been haunted by the time when his mother turned into a monster and had to be killed, Hervé doesn’t want that fate for his sister and cousin, and fights against their apparent abandonment in favour of Lise. In the end, however, despite his various siscon-inspired machinations, he cannot even make a good final boss.

Visual Style
When Red Garden first started, I really disliked the character designs- they were technically well done, but for me, not particularly aesthetically pleasing. Over time, I came to appreciate the less generic ones more, and with the exception of such blunders as Lula’s immense lips, I’m now quite appreciative of the distinct and different art style with its gradient colour shading- it’s not something I’d want to see overused, but it ultimately made for an interesting change from the norm.

That being said, the series may have done well with the basic design, but its fashion sense was not always in the right place. Attempts to look ‘arty’ often resulted in hideous clothing for certain characters- just look at poor Rose and that green dress of hers. Such poor taste was not only limited to the visuals, however, as the two ear-bleedingly poor ED themes proved.

Final Thoughts
Although it manages to capture the interest early on by promising a slowly unfolding mystery, Red Garden’s tedious mix of dull character angst and needlessly convoluted plot was a recipe for only failure. When sitting through it even once is such a chore, any long-term value is entirely nonexistent.

Reviewed this week: Busou Renkin 24, Corda 10, Kanon 24, Nodame Cantabile 9, Red Garden 20-22, SaiMono 35

…and in manga: Chevalier 2, Chokotto Sister 39, Clannad 1-4, Gunslinger Girl 23, School Rumble 217, Spiral 28-31, Spiral Alive 4, Tenshi Nanka Janai, Tsubasa 147, Yotsuba&! 45

ANIME

Busou Renkin 24: The laws of narrative and the “I read spoilers on wikipedia” factor dictate that only Kazuki can defeat Victor, but never let it be said that the secondary characters shouldn’t all continue to take pot shots at him anyway. This episode continues the fight between the alchemic warrior team and the by-now hideously evolved Victor (if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that immense power and ugliness go hand in hand). A fairly average episode overall, but one that makes every that has occurred so far seem sensible when Kazuki and Victor end up on the moon. Clearly problems like escape velocity and lack of air to breathe are merely minor issues to be disregarded.

La Corda d’Oro 10: It’s time for the second round of the concours, but even as Hino goes out to play Pachelbel’s Canon, poor Tsukimori gets locked in a cupboard by some generics in a rather contrived effort to prevent him from retaining his lead in the competition. Overall, this is a rather dull episode, lacking even more substance than the average Corda episode, whilst it’s hard to believe the generics would even hate Tsukimori enough to lock him in a cupboard.

*COMPLETE* Kanon 24: Well, Kanon is finally over, and with it all the issues of the series are magically wrapped up without any real explanation. Shiori magically gets better despite being on her deathbed not too long ago, everyone else somehow automatically becomes happy regardless of whether they have worked out their issues, and Yuuichi obsesses over Ayu’s comatose body until the power of giving her a headband in flashback causes her to wake up. A somewhat lazy ending that sacrificed logical explanations as to how the characters ended up where they did in a favour of just showing them all moving on with their lives. Also, was I the only one who found it creepy when everyone was pawing all over comatose Ayu as if she was just a doll? Where were the nurses, or her family?

Nodame Cantabile 9: Chiaki and the others are off to a music festival in this episode, but whilst Chiaki trails after Stresemann and Nodame fails to impress her teacher in the piano master class, Ryutaro is worried that he too is not up to scratch. More than any of the others so far, this illustrates both the Nodame’s potential and the problems I have with it- the character drama is very good, but the jarringly off-kilter humour continues to get in the way of my enjoyment. Nonetheless, I have to admit that I have come to like the perfectionist Chiaki, especially as he has magically learned how to better interact with the orchestras he conducts.

*COMPLETE* Red Garden 20-22: Even television itself could not handle 24 episodes of Red Garden, and so with two episodes shifted over to make an OVA in August, Red Garden reaches the end of its run even earlier than expected. For such a dull series, of course, this is no bad thing, and in these last three episodes Red Garden (or as it should be named based on the final scene, Pink Garden) manages to encompass everything from the laughably stupid to the “excuse me while I play Go now” tedious.

Episode 20 kicks off the triple-bill as our heroines prepare to rescue Kate, an excursion that also reveals that pretty much everything the Doral have been doing for the last episode has been entirely pointless. With that in mind, they decide to go after the Animus’ Cursed Tome (aka the magical book that can resolve the plot). 21 is then the obligatory ‘calm before the storm’, with everyone putting the angst aside to spend time with loved ones prior to the final boss battle. Unfortunately, once said battle rolls around in 22, it turns out to be as disappointing as expected, with numerous generics fighting in order to keep each other occupied, whilst the expected boss battle with Hervé is replaced by what looks more like a kinky sex scene between him and his sister. All in all, a dull series with a plot that seems to have been created by pulling story ideas out of a hat- worse yet, said story ideas were written down after the writers got blind drunk.

Saiunkoku Monogatari 35: Seiran and Sakujun get down to their little drinking game in this episode, but who will take up the poisoned cup? No matter how easy it may be to guess the general outcome of the episode, the specifics may still hold some surprises, but the true strength of the episode comes in its excellent characterisation. A far cry from the usual “sit in a chair and watch the heroes on magic CCTV” villain, Sakujun represents the next step in antagonist evolution- a character who has committed deplorable acts and yet still engender audience sympathy. Better still are the intricacies of his relationship with Shuurei- a woman who was ultimately able to hold her own against him due to her own unique strength. It’s just as well there’s a second season of SaiMono, for four more episodes could never be enough.

MANGA
It’s time for some manga spring cleaning, so I’m going to drop Fate, Shana, Haruka 8 and Higurashi.

Chevalier 2: In the second chapter of L’Otome d’Eon, our bold cross-dresser learns that the Psalms are having an effect on Lady Sophia (one of the daughters of a decidedly younger Louis XV than the one we saw in the anime) and is duly dispatched to combat the Poet of the Week. I’m still not particularly won over by this manga, but it is sufficiently different from the anime that I want to pursue it in order to find out how the story turns out.

Chokotto Sister 39: Despite what I said in Tuesday Rumble, this is actually a fanservice-free chapter in which Chitose invites Harima, Choko and Makoto to go to the amusement park with her. From thereon in, it’s just a standard theme park visit all the way, with little to really distinguish it from the crowd.

*NEW* Clannad 1-4: With the news of Clannad TV bringing it to the forefront of everyone’s attention, I thought I may as well jump on the bandwagon and at least try the manga. So far, however, it’s hard to know what to make of it- both the lead and the various girls all seem a little strange, so whilst there is potential there, it is often obscured by sheer bizarreness. Whilst chapters 1-3 see lead Okazaki and the strange Nagisa become friends and try to revive the school’s drama club, chapter 4 takes things in a new direction by introducing a girl who randomly gives out wooden starfish to named characters.

Gunslinger Girl 23: Volume five of Gunslinger Girl kicks off with this chapter, which sees Marco’s ex-girlfriend reluctantly team up with a reporter seeking to expose the truth behind the Social Welfare Agency- but in an increasingly complex web of politics and deceit, just what is the truth anyway? Meanwhile, Angelica seems to be in better shape than she has been in a while, but her handler is well aware that it is only due to an increased dose of the medication that will shorten her life. Whilst this isn’t as character-focused as the best of Gunslinger Girl’s chapters, this is nonetheless a solid instalment in a worthy series.

School Rumble 217: Did I say the manga might be ending soon? Silly me, I should have known a partial reset was around the corner. In the wake of Yakumo’s revelation, Harima discovers that Eri didn’t actually rip up his manuscript, but he is more interested in the fact that Tenma is drawing a replacement manga for him (which she eventually decides to publish under her own name anyway). Filled with renewed hope with his relationship for Tenma, Harima tells Eri to forget about him, she pretends not to have any feelings for him in the first place, and Sarah attempts to persuade Yakumo not to give up on Harima. Well done, Jin- that should keep you going for another few years.

Spiral 28-31: This quartet of chapters brings volume six to an end with Kanone making his next moves- first by approaching Ayumu and trying to persuade him to join the quest to annihilate the Blade Children, before heading to the hospital to put an end to Rio. It’s a line-up of the tense stand-offs and plays within plays that Spiral does so well, not to mention an indication of how much better paced this arc is as compared to the rushed ending of the anime.

Spiral Alive 4: When Imari tries to convince Sawamura to two-time Amanae so that he can go out with her, Sawamura tells her that as long as he is aiming for Kiyotaka, he doesn’t have time for love- but unlike him, not everyone is happy at the prospect of ‘Great Detective’ Narumi being called in on the case. Compared to the preceding chapters, this one is rather short and uneventful, but it’s still a solid enough read with the usual healthy dose of beautiful character designs.

*CATCH-UP* Tenshi Nanka Janai 1-23: After having it sitting on my computer ever since the brief Ai Yazawa obsession that caused me to download both this series and Kagen no Tsuki, I’ve finally got around to catching up with this series. A typical shoujo tale of high school romance, unrequited feelings and love polygons, Tenshi Nanka Janai (not to be confused with Tenshi Ja Nai) is a standard shoujo story, but by the same token it’s a decent enough read provided you don’t expect much in the way of originality.

Tsubasa Chronicle 147: To no one’s surprise, Syaoran wins against Hikaru, but just as I thought we needed Fye and Kurogane to fight in order to complete the championship, a version of Chii appears to take Sakura to another world, and although it isn’t entirely clear what happens after that, she seems to be connecting to the Chii of Fye’s world. Hopefully it will start to make sense in the next chapter.

Yotsuba&! 45: In preparation for baking cakes for the school festival, Fuuka and her friend Shimau (a.k.a. “Miss Stake) decide to whip up a strawberry shortcake. Naturally, Yotsuba just has to join in, but will these first time patissiers have any luck in the kitchen? Even after all this time, Yotsuba& still hasn’t lost its touch, and so this is another entertaining chapter in the vein of all the others.

Spoiler Alert: Don’t read HARD GAY corner if you want to keep your knowledge of Gungrave a blank slate.

It’s been well over half a year since Tuesday Rumble first began, and to my surprise, it has not only survived all this time, but has even managed to evolve far beyond my initial expectations (and there are still new features in progress that I have yet to reveal). Unfortunately, in its own way, TR is starting to take over- one article can sometimes be as long as a full blog post.

Fat Cats and Pizza Hut

Ever wondered who the masterminds behind the Pizza Hut takeover of the world were? Look no further, for the culprits have been found- and they are none other than fat cats! The link between chubby felines and Italian food has long been right in front of us- not only do we have President Aria himself residing in a Martian recreation of Venice, but most readers will surely recall Garfield and his love of lasagne. Now, these huggable fiends have taken it to the next level, seeking to use Pizza Hut to cement their control over human society. Agents such as the cat in Code Geass ensure that Pizza Hut becomes ingrained in our very way of life, with all the profits going to high ranking fat cats such as the mysterious Cardinal from Alias. Readers be warned- every penny you spend on Pizza Hat is lining the metaphorical pockets of our soon to be furry overlords.

Ikki Tousen: Boob of Death
In the world of Ikki Tousen, clothes are made of tissue paper, undergarments from heavy duty reinforced polymers, and the deadliest weapon of all is not the fist, but the breast. Welcome to Boob of Death, the next evolution in the Ikki Tousen franchise, a series where the plot isn’t just an excuse to show off some assets- the story is the assets!

In the BoD universe, a new form of martial arts has been developed, which uses the breast itself to do the fighting. From causing a fatal nosebleed or asphyxiating one’s opponent by pressing them into the chest to administering a ‘melon’ clobbering or using the vibrations to create energy waves, there is no end to the ways in which these H-cup assets can be employed in battle. Look forward to it!

Red Garden 19: Paula’s Confession
“I imagined you sleeping with other women.”

“…to other lovers.”

“Of course, if you were in my bed at midnight, things would be different.”

“I feared the intensity of my feelings would drive you away.”

“You just wanted my body!”

“I need you for HARD YURI.”

“And so you must be mine- and mine alone.”

Look- I’m not making it up.

Elsewhere, the foreman is impressed with Rose’s father’s HARD GAY.

“You’ve slept with me even when you didn’t have to.”

“Here’s a little kickback, and I’ll, uh, see you tonight, okay?”

Short Parody: Harvest Moon- The Rebellious Teenage Years

In Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life, your character’s child grows up throughout the course of the game, and the manual warns you to be wary of those rebellious teenage years. I haven’t quite reached that point in the game yet, but let’s imagine a worst case scenario for it.

Anton tries to give Antonia a flower.

Antonia: Dad, I don’t want some dumb flower you just picked up off the ground. Why can’t you buy me a mobile phone or something?

Anton: This is a farming village- where am I supposed to get a mobile phone?

Antonia: I don’t know, why don’t you try going into the city for once in your life? Oh, I forgot, it’s game over for you if you ever leave this dull place; well then, how about ordering one for me off TV Shopping- it’s only 98,000G.

Anton: I can’t afford to buy things from TV Shopping! I have to eat wild flowers just so that I can earn enough to buy fodder for the animals!

Antonia: Yeah, well that’s your fault for becoming a farmer! All my friends always boast about their dads have such cool jobs like being a lawyer or a doctor, and I’m too embarrassed to tell them that mine’s a farmer.

Anton: There’s nothing wrong with being a farmer- many generations of Antons have run farms.

Antonia: So what? You don’t even have a car- instead you have to ride around everywhere on that stupid horse. How am I supposed to get a lift into town to meet my boyfriend?

Anton: You have a boyfriend? Aren’t you a bit young for that?

Antonia: Get with the times, Dad. Hugh is a much better guy than you are, and he doesn’t give me stupid flowers every day like you did for Mum. He even has cool clothes- not like your four outfits that you wear every single year. Those clothes of yours are so 2005, and the food you cook is even worse! Who wants to eat Yam Soup?

Anton: That’s enough, young lady- you’re grounded!

Antonia: Yeah, like, whatever. Just wait until I’m old enough to get out of this dump.

The history of apples in anime

They may be silent, but apples have been a key part of anime for years, often showing up in the background or being eaten by characters. Tokyo Mew Mew, Zegapain, Deltora Quest, Tsubasa Chronicle, Gargoyle, Koi Kaze and Oniisama E are but a few of the series that have seen at least glimpses of apples in either foreground or background, and this range of names just shows us how many different situations they can appear in.

The first really big break for apples came in Death Note, however; first the manga showed us how shinigami Ryuk’s addiction to them was similar to human cravings for cigarettes or alcohol, and then the anime took it to the next level by including apples prominently in the first OP. From then on, the profile of the humble apple was raised, and all the groundwork they had laid over the years became clear to even the most casual of observers. We may have thought otherwise for many years, but one fact is now clear- apples are the true stars of anime.

HARD GAY corner: Gungrave
Ever since they first met as children, Brandon and Harry knew that they were destined HARD GAY partners- one talkative and ambitious, the other quiet and loyal. Even so, they knew that the key to not getting bored with each other was to take other lovers, and so it was that they started off by forming a street gang in order to create a more varied experience.

Unfortunately, the other gang members were eventually killed, forcing Brandon and Harry to join up with Millennion, an intensely HARD GAY group led by Big Daddy (so named due to the size of his Zhuge Liang). As Brandon and Harry worked their way up through the ranks of Millennion over the years, they came to discover all kinds of HARD GAY lovers- most notably Bear Walken (a real ‘bear’ in the bedroom), Balladbird Lee (a swift and precise lover), Bob Poundmax and Bunjie Kugashiro- but unfortunately, this situation was not to last. Even as Brandon found love with Big Daddy, Harry not only discovered the exciting nature of CORPSE with re-animated lovers, but decided that there should be no end to his HARD GAY ambitions.

Inevitably, Brandon and Harry clashed, ending in Brandon’s death after a bout of Pistol. In order to put this behind him, Harry took control of Millennion and convinced his underlings to become ‘Superiorised’, a process which refined them into the ultimate lovers. Meanwhile, jilted lover Brandon was brought back from the dead, at which point he vowed to get revenge on Harry. As it turned out, however, after intense HARD GAY encounters with Harry’s underlings, he began to recall all the good times he had had with his old friend, and in the end, the pair decided to declare their feelings for each other and end it all in one last intense session…

OST Spotlight: Sousei no Aquarion OST 2
Last week I talked about the first Aquarion soundtrack, and if that sounded good to you, you’ll be pleased to know that this CD offers more of the same. As to be expected, there is a degree of remix, but aside from a slightly higher proportion of slower songs, this maintains the standard set by OST1 and even throws in a few more must-listen tracks. An essential purchase or acquisition for all Yoko Kanno fans.

Notable tracks: Go Tight, Cyberfolk Music, Dribble Dribble, Nike 15sai, Genesis of Aquarion

Licensing Reactions

• Shounen Onmyouji (Geneon): A license that was refreshingly announced without much fanfare (probably since it will only be of interest to about ten people), Shounen Onmyouji isn’t a good enough show for me to be rushing out and buying the DVDs straightaway, but maybe if a thinpak appears at some point down the line, I might get that. Then again, if there happens to be a Mokkun plushie packaged as a DVD extra, I could rethink my position for at least one volume.

Mini-editorial: The value of single volume reviews
Although there’s more flexibility to write about what you want on a blog, volume by volume reviews of DVDs and manga are the lifeblood of most anime review websites- after all, boxsets aside, that’s what the companies send you to review, and they probably wouldn’t be too pleased if you just let the volumes pile up for months before writing anything. Even so, to the casual reader, how useful is a review that only covers a small percentage of the entire series?

Now, admittedly both the initial and final volumes and their respective first and last impressions can be a useful guide, but when you haven’t seen a series and want a quick idea of whether to spend your hard earned cash on it, seven or so separate reviews for that series may simply seem like too much hard work to sift through in order to gather an overall picture. Instead, it probably sounds infinitely easier to read a complete series review to more effectively get an impression of it.

That is not to say single volume reviews are completely without merit; after all, it can be interesting to delve into more specifics than a blanket review would allow- and if it’s well written, you may want to read it regardless of how relevant the content is to you. Unfortunately, the long-term appeal is a lot more limited; with the passing of time, many more people are likely to come and read your Last Exile series review than they are your Last Exile #5 review- and anyone who hasn’t first watched volumes 1-4 isn’t likely to touch it all.

At the end of the day, single volume reviews aren’t likely to go away any time soon, but aside from perhaps the aforementioned initial and final volume pieces, their overall value and effectiveness to the readership seems somewhat less than complete series reviews. Is this something review websites like AoD and ANN should take into account- should they even come up with ways to integrate disparate reviews so that they can be displayed in a more cohesive way for those who want a general impression? Or should readers just accept that they won’t get that sort of content from those websites, and resign themselves to searching elsewhere? Perhaps a series review should be written at the end, with links to the original single volume reviews for those looking for more detail.

Harem of the week: Shugo Kunisaki- .hack//Legend of the Twilight
His goal is to become a hero in The World, and that means he needs women around to help him with such trivialities as levelling up and completing quests. Once he can accomplish these tasks on his own, they can sit back and admire him.

Harem

Rena: Twincest alert! Why else have your sister play as BlackRose than to stare at her exposed virtual flesh? For her part, Rena is fond of calling for her Onii-chan a lot, and seems to be a useless player despite secretly levelling up.

Mireille: In the real world she’s four years old, covering the loli requirements, whilst playing as a chirpy rare item hunter in the vein of her mother.

Ouka: The seductive older woman, she’s an accomplished warrior online, and can even transform into a wolf.

Hotaru: The quiet, shy and essentially helpless one- even though she’s a Wavemaster she relies on magic scrolls in order to cast spells. And before anyone chimes in and says her player is a male, that only happened in a CD drama, so it’s not canon.

Rivals

Balmung: His bishie charms entrance Rena right from the start; although Shugo seems to have the upper hand in the long haul, he presents a threat throughout the series.

Komiyama: A classmate determined to claim Rena for his own; luckily he’s fairly incompetent.

Fashion police

This week we take a look at Haseo in his Twin Blade attire (his other forms can be considered on a future occasion). To be fair, the lower half of his costume is not too bad, despite the odd gold and black contraption at the back, but once we move upwards, the problems begin. As if the bare tattooed chest wasn’t bad enough, Haseo has chosen to expose his shoulders as well, keeping up the .hack tradition of exposing as much unnecessary flesh as possible. The wrist guards are also slightly suspect, with their bulkiness seeming out of place compared to his slim arms.

In game form, the major difference is that there are more buckled straps, whilst the back of the hair is flatter, resulting in a worse hairstyle overall.

Fashion sense: C- (anime), D+ (game)

Amusing Search Terms

bouncing breasts: Try ADV’s patented Jiggle Meter.

you toube, you toube tsubasa, you toube sex: Porn, or Tsubasa Chronicle? You decide.

lolicon: Still popular.

big o new opening: My corrupt mind sees all sorts of possibilities in this innocent search.

danbooru alternative: Go and find one of the many other blogs who actually wrote about this.

dare to have sex: Be responsible, kids.

raw manga hop step jump: I’m neither Jeff Lawson nor a raw manga reader…sorry.

A while back, I mentioned wanting this figure, but as all too often happens, I’m beginning to change my mind- why have him when I can have this guy (his HARD GAY lover?) instead? I know the colour scheme isn’t as good, but the detailing on the clothes looks a lot better, even if the poor guy is bleeding to death after improperly performed HARD GAY.

Reviewed this week: Busou Renkin 22, Corda d’Oro 9, Kanon 22, Love GetChu 6, Nodame 7, Red Garden 19, ROTK 42

…and in manga: Emma Bangaihen 7, REC 28, School Rumble 215, Shana 10, Spiral Alive 3, NHK 35, Yotsuba& 44

Due to laziness with regards to parodying them, Chevalier 15-16 will appear next week.

ANIME

Busou Renkin 22: Whilst Kazuki’s party reach Newton Apple Girl’s School for an extended cutscene about Victor’s past, the black Kakugane and the possibility of a cure, the alchemic warriors that completely failed to harm Victor before go back for a second try, alongside their FMA armour/Avu Kamuu using leader. It’s rather pointless since we know that only Kazuki and his main character powers can possibly defeat Victor, but

La Corda d’Oro 9: As we fall into the dull, Haruka-esque pattern of exploring every bishie, this episode goes to Shimizu, the perpetually spaced out blonde shota who seems to be subsisting entirely on Sunrise brand dango. In between the unexciting glimpses into his life, Hino realises she must get over her fear of performing in public before the second selection begins. All in all, a generally inoffensive (if uninteresting) episode, with a cliff-hanger ending that promises a tediously painful wave of angst to come. I know I should get out now, but somehow the character designs and musical focus keep me going.

What more is there to life, really?

Kanon 22: To give you an idea of how enthralling I found this episode of Kanon, I must reveal that I paused it twice- once to take a bath, and again to watch my sister play Harvest Moon. Yes, watching someone else play a farming video game was a more interesting prospect than this exceptionally dull episode, in which Nayuki enters a depressive state over her mother’s car accident, and Yuuichi tries to cheer her up even as he remembers his past with Ayu. At least the end is close now.

Love GetChu! 6: It’s a bit sad that a series from last spring has had fewer episodes subbed than some from the winter, but whilst I continue to contemplate watching the rest raw, another episode has come along. This time around, the focus is on tomboy Tsubasa- her preference may be for male roles, but this latest lesson requires her to play the part of a girl on her first date! Fortunately, she can get some practice by going on a real date with a recently graduated seiyuu who she just happens to have feelings for. As always, it’s light entertainment and fairly predictable, but unlike some of its peers it remains enjoyable.

Nodame Cantabile 7: Hino may think she has it tough with her magical violin, but her struggles are nothing compared to those of Chiaki as he struggles to get the best results out of his orchestra in time for their performance. Once again, the shounen-like elements are in force as the underdogs find the key to working together whilst Stresemann’s orchestra inevitably falls apart. A rather predictable episode overall, but at least it kept me entertained.

Red Garden 19: Despite previous experience with other series, it is still customary to expect something to start happening by this point- although unfortunately, Red Garden has other ideas. With the bulk of this episode taken up by such fascinating character development moments as “Rachel chats with Luke/Rook” and “Claire chats with Ewan”, it all remains rather dull and tedious until the closing moments, when Kate is captured by her enemies after rather sensibly standing right outside their headquarters. It should also be noted that the two useless and ineffectual policemen have now been killed, begging the question as to what the point of including them in the first place was.

“His name was Mario.”

Romance of the Three Kingdoms 42: It’s been a while since I last saw a new episode of ROTK, but at last the slow crawl to the finishing line continues. This episode sees Cao Cao send an old classmate of Zhou Yu to the Wu camp in order to persuade him to surrender, but since Cao Cao is a bumbling villain of chaos, it naturally fails to work.

MANGA

Emma Bangaihen 7: Have you ever thought “Emma is such a great manga that it would still be good even if it turned into a series about a squirrel”? If so, then this chapter is for you- the tale of a boy who loses his squirrel on a trip, the chapter follows the fraught night spent by both boy and squirrel. Apart from the surprise of having a panel in which we see the squirrel relieve itself, this actually isn’t bad, even if we are straying further and further from the original story with each passing side chapter.

REC 28: As a refreshing change from romantic complications, this chapter focuses on Aka’s work as she realises that she doesn’t really have what it takes to play her current role. Fortunately, this is more of a learning experience than an excuse for angst, and the series would certainly benefit from more chapters like this one in place of the usual “someone’s threatening our relationship” fare. As if to remind us of the mangaka’s predilection for adult scenes, however, we are also treated to Matsumaru’s tentacle fantasy (NSFW link).

School Rumble 215: In recent chapters, we saw 2-D filming a movie starring Eri and Harima, only for Eri to take both Tenma and Harima’s manga and ask him to choose between them (naturally, Harima chose Tenma and the manga got ripped up). In the aftermath of these events, Harima must deal with the loss of his manuscript and decide what to do next, whilst Yakumo breaks down in front of Sarah as the stress finally gets to her. The good news- it finally feels as if an end is in sight (even though it probably isn’t).

Shakugan no Shana 10: Whilst Yoshida steps forward as the second member of Yuji’s harem, Shana and Yuji discuss what to do about Friagne- and readers can only hope that someday something will happen. The artwork is also starting to get a bit lazy in places; close ups are fine, but anything slightly complex usually ends up with washboard figures, whilst Shana has a disturbingly small head.

Spiral Alive 3: For Imari, it’s all about confessing to the boy she likes, but Sawamura is more interested in tracking down Amanae. Meanwhile, in the wake of the music box killings, the police decide to turn to the one person who has a chance of solving the case- Kiyotaka Narumi. A comparatively slow chapter which is more about setup for the next stage than accomplishing much in its own right- I’m now eager to get cracking with the main story.

Welcome to the NHK 35: Why is it that every time someone seems to be getting better in NHK, it only causes everyone around them to become that much worse? With Megumi’s brother having recovered enough to face the outside world again, everyone else is plunged further into despair, especially the by now irritatingly dishonest Misaki. Yes, I know she has problems- so does everyone else in the series- but that doesn’t induce me to like her.

Yotsuba& 44: Given that this episode is called “Yotsuba& the farm”, you might rightfully expect our pint-sized heroine to do something along the lines of visiting a farm, but unfortunately, it is not to be. With her continuing fascination with milk leading to talk of cows, Yotsuba’s father plans a trip to the farm, but when Yotsuba gets overexcited and ends up with a fever, it has to be called off. It may not be the series’ finest hour, nor really what I was expecting from the title, but a solid chapter nonetheless.

Stratos 4: The Admiral

Fat cat fans- rejoice at the release of this new Stratos 4 OVA, starring The Admiral herself! As this OVA reveals, the series’ chubby feline is actually a real admiral, and now it is up to her to save the earth from the largest meteor yet- by going up into space. With General/Shogun as her co-pilot, The Admiral will brave high altitudes in her experimental new ship, boldly going where no cat has gone before! Look forward to it!

Red Garden: Setting the bar for angst
Want to know the best excuses and situations for angst? Look no further.

1. Your mother is ill and your father is working away from home, forcing you to look after your increasingly irritating siblings.
2. The man you like is actually evil, whilst your HARD YURI sorority fellows are continually checking on your activities.
3. You find all your friends irritating and shallow no matter what they do, but in order to get decent conversation, you must drink bitter coffee with your teacher and get accused of having an affair with him.
4. You barely have enough money to pay the rent, but pride insists that you quit your job (only to return later), live away from your father (but borrow money from your brother) and skip classes since education and qualifications could not possibly land you a job better than flipping burgers.
5. Your previously nameless and generally bland brother has just died, but you must continue to fight despite the hindrance of your oversized lips.
6. Your cousin is dead and your sister is dying, but since you are surrounded by an evil faction, all you can do is be evil.

Zipang Pick ‘n’ Mix

The generics sense that a HARD GAY encounter may be imminent.

The named characters remain evasive for fear of having to invite the generics into their bed.

“Your HARD GAY is now most impressive.”

“The only way to find out is to go to the bedroom and try them for ourselves.”

“Before that, I have to know if you are even up to the task of matching me in the bedroom.”

“I would hate for either one of us to die because of improperly performed HARD GAY.”

This one says it all.

Short parody: Escaflowne

Allen: I am bishie and I think I love you, Hitomi- what more do you need?

Hitomi: I’m sorry, but I prefer Van.

(Van: Damn women- the only lover I need is the Escaflowne itself).

A report comes in that a town has been attacked.

Hitomi: Oh no, it’s all my fault!

Allen: Damn, my lottery ticket wasn’t a winning one.

Hitomi: I’m so sorry, it was all my fault!

Van: You know, I never did get that toy sword I wanted as a child.

Hitomi: That was my fault too! Everything that has ever gone wrong in the history of humanity happened because of me!

Van: You know, maybe we should deal with your ego issues before we continue this quest.

The history of the moon in anime
Although it is most often confined to a presence in still shots, the moon has always held importance in anime. From wars between the Earth and the moon in the likes of YoakeNa and Turn A Gundam to visiting bases on the moon in Kurau and Planetes, the satellite remains the closest and more convenient place for off-world activities in science fiction. Perhaps surprisingly, however, the moon has also brought its legacy to Earth in the form of Busou Renkin’s Moonface (aka Lunar Nicholai), a man whose head can resemble any of the phases of the moon.

HARD YURI corner: Red Garden
Thanks to her insatiable love of HARD YURI, Lise took four separate lovers- Claire, Rose, Rachel and Kate. Following her death, the other four turned to each to form a HARD YURI unit, unaware that they were not mere HARD YURI lovers, but resurrected young women tasked with fighting men so that HARD YURI could flourish. Although they were initially scared to become experimental in their intense bedroom encounters, at the urging of their pimps Lula and JC, they learned to become more daring with their HARD YURI, with even the quiet and submissive Rose showing some spirit.

Unfortunately, everyone around them remains jealous of their HARD YURI bond, forcing them to stand up to young men fearful of HARD YURI and the HARD YURI members of the school’s Grace. Can their love survive?

OST Spotlight: Sousei no Aquarion OST 1
Yoko Kanno is certainly one of the most well known names as far as anime music goes, but when it comes to praising her work, the Aquarion soundtrack has yet to receive the attention it deserves. Although this OST is more skewed towards the classical side of her work, Kanno’s skill is still very much in evidence, proving that classical-style anime music does not have to be dull, repetitive or restricted to piano and strings. Alongside the slower and more grandiose themes, there is a healthy mix of catchy faster-paced tracks that carry the listener along for the ride. A strong offering, and one that is highly recommended to anyone who listens to anime music, however infrequently.

Notable tracks: Sousei no Aquarion (onii-sama to), Macho Battle, Max Bomber Girl, Michelle, Kikaitenshi Aquarion, Brown Horses, Dragon Reika, Pride~journey of grief, Omna Magni

Licensing Reactions

• Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (Geneon): Although it’s possible that they also have MariMite, SaiMono and Nanoha, I won’t talk about those until it’s official; however, as the presumable answer to the ANN competition, Higurashi at least must be a sure thing. Although I was temporarily won over by the creepy first arc and the goriness of Shion’s rampage, in retrospect Higurashi simply had too many weak points to be worth investing in.

Mini-rant: What’s my license?
Ah, who doesn’t remember the good old days? Chocolate bars were bigger, the internet was slower, and companies actually came out and told us which series they had licensed. In this new age, however, that is no longer the case- instead we have to be subjected to tedious viral marketing campaigns and “Guess the license” competitions at Anime News Network. Now, whilst this may have been an interesting gimmick to some when it first started, it seems I’m not the only one to be getting thoroughly fed up with it by now. All I care about is what has and hasn’t been licensed, so just announce it already! Do we expect to see “guess where the rapist struck?” or “which crime do you think this man committed?” on the news? Admittedly, anime licensing is less important, but do we really need to jump through hoops just to learn when a particular series is coming out on DVD? Just tell me straight how much to pay and when to pay it (if it is indeed worth buying at all)- that’s all I need to know.

In Your Reflection

This week’s head to head is between Chrono Crusade’s Joshua and Scrapped Princess’ Forsyth. Both are the blond haired brothers of the respective female leads, who are essentially good natured but have been forced by circumstances to live with the leads’ enemies.

Fashion police: Peorth
Ah, Peorth, I like your hairstyle, but why did you have to dress like a bondage queen? No doubt many people like it that way, and I have to admit it doesn’t look too bad if you glance at it out of the corner of your eye, but sadly, it doesn’t stand up to close inspection. The basic black bikini would be fine for a swimsuit episode, but aside from the fact that it looks a little too chilly and revealing for day to day wear, it is only made worse by the hideous orange buckle and strap combination (luckily she’s a goddess so we don’t have to worry about its defiance of the laws of physics). Unfortunately, the fingerless gloves and short boots in the same colour just serve to make the overall effect worse.

Fashion sense: D

Amusing Search Terms

ONE TOO MANY: Better cut back.

how to save in the diary on harvest moon: Sorry, but I can’t believe that someone is so incapable as to be unable to save their game in Harvest Moon.

Summer Days Episode: Ah yes, I remember that exact episode.

mai breast: Coming soon, Mai-Breast- all fanservice and no plot! Oh wait, that was Mai-Otome.

word round up: In the Word Round-Up, I review the most commonly used phrases of the week, such as “Hello”, “I’m fine”, and “I promise it will be done by next week”.

December 1^st: A truly great day, December 1^st, for it is the first of December. Don’t tell anyone I told you, though.

“Love it or loathe it”: marmite?

sei4C: I wish I could say something witty about this.

NOIR / WE HAD TO LET YOU HAVE IT: This must be a line from the HARD YURI Noir sequel.

game maker sprite flames: Will RPG Maker sprite Robespierre do?

Lolicon: it’s getting popular again, to the extent of 50 searches on some days.

you toube basketball: It’s good to see you toube continuing to evolve.

large boobs: more H-cup.

Busou renkin hentai doujins: No, please…no.

how can use my audition perfect hack: I don’t know.

Harvest Moon gay love: Anton loves his wife, his horse and his chickens, but not other men.

auditionsea cash hack: Did I hear you say cash?

game characters: How specific.

My Meine Liebe Wieder: Yours? Are you the creator?

Dangerous love: Is it worth the risk?

Sometimes fate can be cruel. For example, I recently spent over £60 on single DVDs of Scrapped Princess, and now a cheap boxset has appeared for around a third of that price. I even looked for a boxset before settling on the singles, and there didn’t seem to be any sign of one. Damn you, Bandai- damn you, I say!

Reviewed this week: Iroha 13-15, Busou Renkin 21, Deltora Quest 3, Kanon 21, Les Miserables 3, Red Garden 17-18

…and in manga: Emma Bangaihen 6, Fate/Stay Night 6, Shana 9, School Rumble, Spiral Alive 2, Tsubasa 145, NHK 33-4, xxxHOLiC vol 10 c2

ANIME

Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto 13-15: Whilst episode thirteen sees the dramatic conclusion to the mix of stage play and real life events that Soutetsu has orchestrated, episode fourteen takes us on the aftermath, with both Kanna and Akidzuki choosing their next moves. With everything thus in place, fifteen properly commences a fresh arc, with Akidzuki and Kakunojo setting off on a journey together to seal the Lord’s Head- although Kakunojo seems in danger of becoming the stereotypical useless female tag-along at first, matters seem more promising at the conclusion of the episode.

Apart from some irritating funeral chanting at the beginning of episode fourteen (I won’t tell you who died, but suffice to say the chanting erased what little emotion I felt at their passing) and some grating singing in episode fifteen, this is a trio of highly enjoyable episodes, with some well executed action scenes and excellent background music.

Busou Renkin 21: Busou Renkin still seems to be stuck in plot limbo in this episode, resulting in a rather pointless fight between flame user Hiwatari and our heroes, whilst Victor ends up taking on a submarine. I can’t help feeling we could have done without this episode entirely and perhaps had something a bit more relevant to the plot, but then again not having read the manga I don’t really know if the remaining material would fill the last stretch of episodes satisfactorily.

Deltora Quest 3: It’s always a worrying sign when a series has to resort to budget saving stills and recap during its third episode, but that is exactly the fate that befalls Deltora Quest in this instalment. As Lief and Barda face their first real boss in the form of golden armour Gorl, the pace slows to an excruciating crawl as what was meant to be a battle turns into an extended talking session. Oh well, at least this series will be fun to parody when the time comes.

Kanon 21: With no new arcs to come, I’ve finally reached the point in the series where I can stop expecting Kanon to suddenly become good and just enjoy it on the basis of thinking up a parody explanation for what is going on. With Ayu gone, this episode sees Yuuichi finally spend some time with poor, neglected Nayuki, but can one girl ever be enough for a certified harem master? Complete with a car crash ending that initially seemed a little over the top until I saw the video of it happening in real life, Kanon 21 might promise a cliff-hanger to those unfamiliar with the franchise, but the rest of us already know how it will turn out.

Les Miserables Shoujo Cosette 3: As it moves ahead into its third episode, it becomes clear that Les Mis would be a solid and enjoyable series if not for one thing- its painful level of predictability. In this episode, Cosette’s miserable life continues, but at least she and Gavroche are able to make a new friend when they take home a puppy. Naturally, the puppy must be kept a secret from the Thenardiers, which, alongside such plot elements as having to wash Eponine’s favourite blouse which absolutely must not be damaged in any way, ensures that viewers don’t need a degree in theoretical physics to know exactly what is going to happen. Fortunately, this side of the story is at least tempered by the ongoing story of Madeleine/Valjean, who is in for a nasty surprise when old nemesis Inspector Javert becomes the chief of police in his town.

Red Garden 17-18: There are times when I have to wonder just what the entire point of Red Garden is- I call those times “the minutes spent watching Red Garden”. Whilst episode seventeen sees the others eventually find out they will lose their memories in the midst of a sea of pointless angst, eighteen is somehow even less edifying, with Hervé chatting to a restaurant billboard, Lise walking into the sea, and Rose deciding that life with her increasingly irritating siblings is better than blissful forgetfulness. There is a bit more to it than that, but it’s all so dull and needlessly convoluted that it’s actually hard to care, especially when the visuals seem to have lapsed back into ugliness.

MANGA

Emma Bangaihen 6: Bangaihen slips further and further away from the main story as this chapter focuses on minor maid Tasha as she goes home to visit her family and contemplate her future. Once again, as short and vaguely Emma-related stories go, it remains enjoyable, although the ending is a little abrupt.

Fate/Stay Night 6: With its recounting of the beginning of Rin and Archer’s relationship, this chapter certainly makes a refreshing break from the usually Shirou-centric nature of the series, but even so, giving Archer dialogue just demonstrates what an annoying character he is. A fairly innocuous chapter overall- nothing special, but not particularly poor either.

Shakugan no Shana 9: The mediocrity continues as Shana puts the PE teacher in his place (what other fate can someone who messes with the title character expect?), before the story slowly crawls onwards. Perhaps by the end of the volume there’ll actually be some action, but don’t hold your breath.

*CATCH-UP* School Rumble: For one brief, shining moment, I thought the School Rumble manga could take away the taste of the disappointing season two, but unfortunately, I was terribly wrong. Although I had hoped that many of the more pointless and tiresome segments of season two were just filler, far too many of them turned out to be manga material (Akira et al stuck in the floor springs to mind), and it only gets worse as the manga progresses past the anime. With a trip to Kyoto that involves a fight with students visiting from England, and a complete change in character for Eri, this is one series I cannot even recommend to fans of the anime.

Spiral Alive 2: Imari has just learned that Amanae, the most beautiful girl in school, is dating the boy she likes, but this no normal tale of high school romance- someone has just been murdered, and one of Amanae’s music boxes has been left at the scene of the crime. It may not yet be clear what the bigger picture is, but as a prequel to Spiral, excellent artwork and an intriguing story is all but assured.

Tsubasa Chronicle 145: Whilst Syaoran’s fight with Hikaru gets underway (fans of Angelic Layer should at least enjoy this part), we continue to uncover a little more about Sakura’s motivations- having used her slowly returning precognitive power to see a future she wishes to change, she has decided to travel to a specific world alone. Unfortunately, with the Infinity method of crossing worlds unable to determine which world the traveller ends up in, Sakura must also pay Yuuko if she wants to get to her desired destination- and the price is her extraordinary good luck. Somehow, Sakura without her good fortune (aka plot protection) doesn’t seem right, but we’ll just have to wait and see how this turns out.

Welcome to the NHK 33-4: To say that NHK is a series where every character remains stuck in their rut was perhaps a little of unfair of my past attitude, for I now realise it is actually more a case of them all getting progressively worse. By this point in the series, Satou, Misaki and Yamazaki all seem so far gone that the chances of them ever recovering are slim at best- it is certainly hard to believe that a scant few chapters ago it looked as if Satou might actually get better. Admittedly, having waited so long since the last batch of chapters makes this slightly more entertaining than it would have otherwise been, but reading entire volumes of this in one go is not recommended.

xxxHOLiC vol 10, chapter 2: After so many short chapters, it was a surprise to see this one running to fifty-three pages, although unfortunately most of those are dedicated to Watanuki and Doumeki repeatedly fetching water from a well- all the while watched by a mysterious, unchanging woman in a nearby house. Towards the end, however, things become more interesting when the duo enters the house to retrieve a cloth, and discovers the truth about the woman, leading to a cliff-hanger ending that may finally reveal a little more about Himawari.

Wireless internet certainly sounds useful, but when it comes down to taking advantage of it, certain difficulties arise. Even if, unlike me, you have a laptop with batteries that actually the work, there’s the matter of all those plugged in peripherals you’ve come to rely on. Take your laptop to another room, and suddenly you’re bereft of printer, scanner, external hard drive and a miscellaneous ‘more’- unless of course you wheel the whole setup around on some kind of trolley. Maybe I’ll just stay at my familiar computer desk for now.

Reviewed this week: Iroha 12, Busou Renkin 19, Chevalier 14, Death Note 17, Deltora Quest 2, Kanon 19, MariMite OVA 2, Red Garden 16, ROTK 41, Shounen Onmyouji 12

…and in manga: Higurashi Onikakushi 4, Shana 8, Spiral 25-6, xxxHOLiC 10.1

ANIME

Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto 12: Whilst Akidzuki falls into flashback and despair over the loss of Ryouma, the troupe opens their new play in which everyone has the challenging role of playing themselves. Despite the ease with which the Lord’s Head and its effects can now be defeated, this is another solid episode which leaves me with a need for more (even if the series does change direction in its second half).

Busou Renkin 19: Why is it that every episode of Busou Renkin must attempt to top the last in terms of crudeness? After traumatising us with the continuing battle between naked Ikusabe and body-suited Papillon, the series jumps to an assault on Victor and a battle between Gouta and Negoro in which Tokiko stands around like the useless cheerleader she has become. The introduction of new characters on both sides has also led to irritating plot holes with regards to their tactics and abilities, one of which will be ranted about in the extra section below.
Extra: Negoro’s ‘byway’ only accepts his DNA to prevent foreign objects from entering, but a muffler with his hair sewn in and Gouta’s chakra (covered in Negoro’s blood) are both able to enter by virtue of being in contact with his DNA. If that is the case, why wouldn’t anything that was in contact with his DNA (the surrounding DNA, Gouta when he was holding onto Negoro) also be accepted? After all, if only the DNA itself was accepted, only the hair in the muffler or the blood coating of the chakra should have been accepted, whilst the non-Negoro parts would be rejected from the byway. Yes, I know it’s dangerous to analyse SJ too closely, but this deserved a mention.

Le Chevalier d’Eon 14: The England arc continues in this episode, which sees Guercy and the Musketeers enact a plan to look at the contents of Robert Wood’s trousers briefcase by inviting him to a dinner party. With that one objective being the prime focus of the episode, this isn’t really Chevalier’s finest hour, but it is still a solid instalment that sets the stage for the more exciting events to follow.

Death Note 17: I’ve finally put Death Note on red, simply because I can’t keep fooling myself each week that whilst I didn’t enjoy the current part of the story in anime form, the next one will be worth the wait. So far, I can’t bring myself to drop the series when I want to see Near animated, but I’m finding it more of a struggle to drag myself through each episode when the anime isn’t bringing anything new to my experience of the franchise.

Deltora Quest 2: As Deltora Quest forges ahead into its second episode, the only real question to be asked it whether the series more closely resembles a classical RPG or an S-RPG. This episode sees obligatory female Jasmine and her pet mascots join the party so that our bold heroes can beat the first dungeon in spite of their lack of EXP; as with the first instalment, its strength is in its utter predictability and unintentional hilarity.

What spelling and grammar?

Kanon 19: With all the lesser girls out of the way, the time has come for Yuuichi to turn his attention to Ayu (and to a lesser extent Nayuki) in what must be the final arc of the series. Despite my interest in seeing more of Nayuki, such a fleeting desire cannot save the series for me now, and so the setup for Ayu’s ‘big reveal’ is just as dull as pretty much everything that has preceded it. You may even wonder why I continue to watch the series, but in essence it is only a combination of a desire for completion and a need to write the Harem Diaries.

Maria-sama ga Miteru OVA 2: Why must this OVA insist on making fifty minute episodes when thirty minute ones could tell the same story without sending me to sleep? This instalment sees Yumi and the others resolve to help Sachiko overcome her hatred of men by having a ‘meet and greet’ with the student council of the Hanadera boys’ school; unfortunately, not only does it take an incredibly long time in getting there, but the boys are all shallow personalities- even gender-confused Alice is rather arbitrarily introduced for a character with lifelong issues over his sexuality.

Red Garden 16: Just for a change, this week sees everyone angsting over their nearest and dearest- Claire has an argument with her father after her brother is hit by a car, Rachel breaks up with Luke, Rose visits her father to update him on the family situation and Kate finally discovers that Hervé is evil. In between the melancholy and laughably over the top crying and shouting, we finally learn a bit more about what’s going on- in an ROD/Madlax-esque turn of events, both sides are apparently fighting in order to gain control over two Cursed Tomes. Coupled with this rather disappointing revelation is a fight scene between supporting characters (even the school’s headmistress gets in on the act) which raises yet more questions as to why everyone in this series seems to have special X/Matrix powers, and whether anyone ever cared about the now deceased JC (I didn’t even know he had a name, let alone that he was meant to be Lula’s brother). The end result is an increasingly ridiculous plot and far more questions that will most likely never be satisfactorily answered.

Romance of the Three Kingdoms 41: As anyone who has watched the show to this point will be well aware, Shu is a heroic kingdom of justice and righteousness, and naturally, petty and small Wu cannot hope to compare. Mired in jealousy over the relative size of their ‘weapons’, Zhou Yu decides to set a trap for Zhuge Liang and Liu Bei- can our heroes outwit his plans? If you answered ‘no’ to that question, go to the back of the class.

Shounen Onmyouji 12: It took far too many episodes, and I had almost despaired of it happening at all, but at long last, the final confrontation with Kyuuki is here, complete with brief flashes of screen time for the little-used Tenitsu and Genbu. Despite the obvious questions of “where exactly will the plot go from here?” and “what is the plot anyway?”, this is an enjoyable enough episode, much improved by the fact that Kyuuki’s arc is finally over.

MANGA

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Onikakushi 4: It’s back to the creepy first arc in this chapter, with Keiichi discovering that his group of friends aren’t all they seem in the aftermath of Tomitake and Takano’s disappearance. In the wake of all the came after, it’s been easy to forget that Higurashi was once a compelling and chilling tale of horror, but this chapter alone is enough to reawaken those memories and reinvigorate my interest in the series.

Shakugan no Shana 8: Given the lack of releases for this mediocre manga, I had all but dropped it, but at the eleventh hour, the first chapter of volume two has appeared. Shana has now settled down in school and terrified all the teachers- but will the gym teacher fight back by setting endless running? Even this brief section of the anime cannot be wrapped up in one chapter, so come back next time to find out the thrilling conclusion to Shana’s PE lesson.

Spiral 25-6: After wrapping up the game between Eyes and Ryoko in chapter twenty-five, twenty-six opens volume six with a new arc that sees Kanone arrive in Japan as part of his quest to hunt the Blade Children. As always, I have little else to add except praise for this excellent series (I’ll deal with the decline in later volumes when I get to them, for now I’m pretending that doesn’t happen), and hope for the swift appearance of further chapters.

xxxHOLiC vol. 10 chapter 1: Yes, I’ve finally got around to starting volume ten, with this brief chapter that sees Yuuko relax on a summer’s day (with Watanuki manning the sprinklers) before a catgirl arrives and takes him to collect some water. Presumably the water is the same liquid that is sent to X-Tokyo in Tsubasa, but aside from noting this and revelling in xxxHOLiC’s distinctive artwork, there isn’t much to say about this brief chapter.