Fellow anime fans, heed my words- never, ever let a massive backlog build up, for it will crush your very soul. Sadly, there is still much I have to catch up on, but in the meantime enjoy my coverage of what I have managed to get through since mid-December.

Reviewed this week: Aria the Origination 1, Baccano! 13, Clannad 8-12, Dennou Coil 21-6, Genshiken 2 7-12, Himawari!! 1, Kaiji 7-13, Minami-ke 7-13, Oh! Edo Rocket 21-6, SaiMono II 27-31, Spice and Wolf 1, Tsubasa OVA 1

…and in manga: .hack//Link 1, Akagi 7-8+108-9, Chokotto Sister 48, Clannad 5, Claymore 75-6, Elfen Lied 79-81, HxH 267-70, Kaiji 1, MariMite 23-4, Meine Liebe 7-8, Nodame 94-9, Oniisama E… 10, REC 34-6, Risky Safety 2-3, Solanin 10-28, Spiral Alive 11-16, Spiral 60-66, Tsubasa 172-7, Yotsuba& 49-50

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

1. Dennou Coil (1) – a great series from start to finish <- complete!
2. Aria the Origination (-) – PUNYU! <-new!
3. Oh! Edo Rocket (2) – I love this show! <- complete!
4. SaiMono II (4) – Jyuusan-hime rocks!
5. Kaiji (3) – human racing
6. Minami-ke (6) – Ichigo Mashimaro II <- complete!
7. Baccano! (5) – the end of the line <- complete!
8. Spice and Wolf (-) –spicy wolves make for interesting chilli <-new!
9. Genshiken 2 (7) – graduation <- complete!
10. Moyashimon (8) – cute microbes
11. Shion no Ou (9) – it’s a trap
12. Sketchbook ~full color’S~ (11) – lots of cats
13. Clannad (12) – sad girls in springtime
14. Mokke (10)- magical cat

SLOW RANKINGS

1. Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei (1) – I’m in despair!
2. Tetsuko no Tabi (2)- is this ever going to be subbed?
3. Sisters of Wellber (3) – predictable but fun
4. Himawari!! – needs less plot <- new!
5. Koutetsu Sangokushi (4) – pure HARD GAY
6. Shounen Onmyouji (5)- mediocre
7. Love GetChu! (6)- light entertainment
8. Romeo X Juliet (7) – WOOD

*NEW* Aria the Origination 1: Having a new season to watch is so great that I just want to roll around like President Aria, but instead I will try to put those feelings into words. Spring is coming to Neo Venezia, and even though the snow hasn’t quite melted yet, Alicia gets a gift of sakura tea and jam which she decides to share with everyone. Cue a nice, fluffy tea party in which the amazing feats of the three Primas are discussed, from stopping an idiot falling overboard to cheering up a baby with funny faces. And as the icing on the cake, President Aria is up to his usual antics, although his poor flabby stomach has already been bitten twice.

Remember, don’t eat too fast.

*COMPLETE* Baccano! 13: The tale of immortality and numerous characters in the 1930s finally draws to a close in this episode, which ties up the insane number of plot strands in the best way it can, sees justice served to certain characters, and ends on a high in the way only Isaac and Miria can manage. Yes, it was confusing along the way, but with so much packed in it was also highly entertaining- I can’t request a second season enough times.

Clannad 8-12: Episodes 8-9 see the conclusion of the Fuko arc, with everyone slowly forgetting about her in the run-up to the wedding- can they remember in time to show up? Whilst it was hardly enough to make me cry, I did feel a pang of emotion at this arc, which made going into the next one a bit of an anticlimax to start. This time around, the focus is on genius girl Ichinose Kotomi, who seems almost unbelievably socially ill-adapted to start with, but whose story is slowly picking up now. It does seem a bit of a sci-fi

*COMPLETE* Dennou Coil 21-6: I already reviewed Dennou Coil in its entirety, so all that’s left to put here is how satisfying the ending turned out to be. Yes, if there was more time some elements could have been expanded upon, but the later revelations were still a lot more substantial than many other series, and overall there was a feeling of satisfied completion rather than a need for more. A most excellent series indeed.

*COMPLETE* Genshiken 2 7-12: Genshiken 2 is over, and it’s something of a bittersweet ending- practically everyone has settled on their future career and is ready to commence life in the ‘real world’, although of course they’ll never forget their otaku roots. There’s still content here for those looking for comedy, but an almost Honey and Clover-esque feel crept into this season- university graduates should be able to identify with it.

*NEW* Himawari!! 1: At long last, the second season of Himawari!! is being subbed (yes, I could watch the raws but I’m being lazy), and although I have little hope of it proceeding at any speed, it can fill a gap here and there. Unfortunately, whilst meeting up with the characters is like slipping back into a comfortable old set of clothes, the fact that this season seems to contain a main villain with his underling monsters of the week does not fill me with optimism. I like Himawari when it’s just episodic light entertainment, but introducing low-budget enemies such as this episode’s gum-chewing boy adds an air of tedium to the whole thing.

Kaiji 7-13: The Espoir arc finally concludes in episodes 7-9, with Kaiji suffering both betrayal and the Room of Naked Men before finally coming out on top- at least until he realises the whole thing has left him with twice as much debt as before (poor guy). Then, after an episode of trying and failing to fit in with normal life, our hero is whisked off for another night of gambling, only this time he is the horse in a ‘Human Derby’. The even sees Kaiji and other debt-ridden young men walk across a thin beam suspended over a twelve foot drop, but even if you manage to get across without being pushed off, there’s worse to come when they have to do the same again across and electrified beam suspended between the twenty-second floors of two high-rise buildings. It’s addictive, MANLY stuff, but are we really halfway through already?

*COMPLETE* Minami-ke 7-13: I finally found the time to watch the second half of Minami-ke’s first season, and happily, it was everything I expected it to be. As the adventures of the Minami sisters continue, more amusing everyday antics ensue, more friends get drawn in, and they even meet another Minami family consisting of three brothers and a younger sister who Chiaki adopts as her little ‘brother’. Not since the days of Ichigo Mashimaro has everyday life been so entertaining, but I’m approaching the second season with trepidation- how will the staff changes affect the tone of the series?

*COMPLETE* Oh! Edo Rocket 21-6: Another excellent series goes out with a bang (no pun intended) as Oh! Edo Rocket draws to a close with a packed final stretch that showcases everything that is so great about the series. From comedy and hilariously out of place pop culture references to darker and more serious storylines, Oh! Edo Rocket somehow manages to have everything, and it even achieves an ending entirely appropriate to the tone of the series. Move over FLCL and Pani Poni Dash- this is how it’s done.

Saiunkoku Monogatari II 27-31: The overload of new characters arc has finally come to an end as the anime moves into new territory with the arrival of Shuuei’s sister Jyuusan-hime. Jyuusan-hime has been sent to become Ryuuki’s concubine, but with assassins after her life, Shuurei ends up becoming her body double (sometimes even main characters get the short straw). Despite my aversion to having so many new characters dumped on us of late, Jyuusan-hime is a most welcome addition to the cast- she’s beautiful, tough and more mature than the still naïve Shuurei, and since she’s also adopted, her apparent feelings for Shuuei aren’t as incestuous as I first thought. Meanwhile, poor Shusui seems to have fallen under the influence of the voices in her head- what will become of her? Whatever the case, the anime is not only almost at an end but has also drawn level with the novels- so we’ll either have to have a huge break before any potential third season, or move into the realm of occasional OVAs.

SaiMono goes all Dynasty Warriors.

*NEW* Spice and Wolf 1: For a multitude of shallow and tenuous reasons, I loved this series before I even watched it, and happily I still feel the same way after episode one. Having completed Okami the night before I watched this, I was all too ready for more content about wolf goddesses, and so when trader Lawrence Craft found one in his cart, it made for interesting viewing (even with the random fanservice). Provided it doesn’t turn into the new Sisters of Wellber, this should be a great series, and since the original material is apparently about economics, it’s like entertainment’s next step from Dragons’ Den.

*NEW* Tsubasa Chronicle Tokyo Revelations 1: My relationship with the Tsubasa TV series ended in a filler fest of pain and suffering, but with Production I.G. taking over the reins for this three episode OVA covering the X-Tokyo arc, I figured it wouldn’t be so bad (let’s forget that they did that pointless movie). Happily, unlike Bee Train’s efforts, this version of Tsubasa actually has revolutionary new concepts like proper movement and animation, and whilst the story is essentially flawed, this is the fault of the original manga and not really something the studio can do much about. If the rest of Tsubasa must be animated, let’s keep it to OVA format (I notice that the final image in the closing appears to be from the Infinity arc- a sign of things to come?).

In the latest manga chapters, Mokonas’ earrings actually have previously unmentioned plot importance.

MANGA

*NEW* .hack//Link 1: Although it might sound like a .hack/Legend of Zelda crossover, the franchise’s latest cash-in manga is set in a brand new iteration of The World- R:X. Tokio is the typical annoying shounen hero who has cleared every other game around and wants to play the newly relaunched The World, but since access is restricted, he can’t get his hands on a copy of the game. Fortunately, a new transfer student at school lets him use her copy- but it proves to be an edition of the game that transfers him into The World itself! I don’t see this offering anything new, but it should be interesting enough to follow.

Akagi 7-8, 108-9: Like the anime, the Akagi manga doesn’t seem to feel the need to rush anywhere, and so we’re still on Akagi’s first match- although we’ve just reached the point when Akagi is playing rep player Yagi with their fingers at stake. For a beginner at Mah-jongg, watching this sort of thing in animated form is easier than slogging through explanatory text for each match, but even so it’s still an enjoyable manga.

Meanwhile, an anonymous scanlator has decided to pick up where the anime has left off, so I’ll be covering that as well. 108-9 commence volume 13 and cover the last part of the anime, where Akagi throws away his blood and challenges Washizu to play for the last part of his fortune. Having waited so long to see what happens next, we are now on the verge of this exciting new territory, and hopefully it will be as good as ever.

Chokotto Sister 48: When Konatsu catches mumps and falls in, it becomes a perfect opportunity for her to slip into a Flashback Mode, in which she relates a typical tragic past of being abandoned by her parents and Haruma promising to always be by her side (which she takes to be one of those standard childhood marriage proposals that have so much more meaning in fiction than real life). Everything is proceeding along the rails for the moment, but I’m becoming increasingly disturbed about Choko’s origin- just where did she come from? (Smart alecks need not respond).

Clannad 5: When I read the first four chapters of Clannad, the anime was months away from airing, but to go back and try another chapter in the middle of it run is a slightly strange experience. Fortunately, whilst Clannad the anime is nothing special to me, watching it seemed to make this chapter seem better than its predecessors, even though it only covers the early anime content of Tomoya trying to help get the drama club off the ground.

Claymore 75-6: As it turns out, the blinded Galatea wasn’t hiding from the organisation- she wanted them to send Claymores out to her so that they could help her defeat the latest Awakened Being- former number 2 Claymore Agatha. As the battle begins, however, it remains to be seen if they will offer assistance or just blindly follow orders, culminating in a cliff-hanger ending for chapter 76. As always, I’m not particularly impressed by the action scenes, but I’m still interested in seeing what happens next, and oddly having just one chapter a month helps to enjoy the series since I’m always hungry for more.

Elfen Lied 79-81: We may be getting close to the end of the series, but the story is still ready to throw us a few more twists and turns- not to mention some fresh characters. Whilst Kouta laments the loss of his harem due to the disappearance of Lucy/Nyu, Nana and Mayu, elsewhere yet more plans are being made to recapture Lucy- using obedient clones of Mariko. In charge of them is the latest eccentric scientist and his tough-as-nails bodyguard- it’s a familiar formula but hopefully this is all slowly building towards a conclusion.

Hunter X Hunter 267-70: Having put all his efforts into getting the chapter count up to a nice round number, Togashi has retired to his deathbed once again, leaving the series on yet another indefinite hiatus. Perhaps it’s just as well, as the excruciatingly slow pace and intensely detailed narration of the first phase of the attack on King has really put me off this arc, to the extent where I have to wonder if I even care any more. All I want now is for the series to properly end, but at the current rate I could be in my thirties before that happens (a scary thought indeed).

*NEW* Kaiji 1: As with Akagi, the Kaiji anime has basically followed the manga word for word, so all this first chapter provides is a recounting of how Kaiji came to be offered a place aboard the Espoir, with less technically accomplished art. Even so, it’s an enjoyable enough way to relive the series, and hopefully more chapters will be available soon.

Maria-sama ga Miteru 23-4: We’re already at the start of season two, with Yumi, Yuuki and Rosa Gigantea spending the night at Sachiko’s house for the new year, complete with some “Kashiwagi is HARD GAY” and Sei teasing Yumi scenes that never made it into the anime. As always, this manga complements the anime nicely, but I’m increasingly noticing the poor standard of the artwork compared to the anime character designs, whilst for some reason Yuuki has black hair in this version.

Meine Liebe 7-8: First off, a big thank you to “Meine Liebe Project” for picking this up- it may not be the best manga in the world, but I at least want to read the second half of it. Anyway, chapter seven sees Erika get picked to be Orphe’s dance partner for his grandmother’s party, but much to my disappointment, no actual dancing was seen- surely a whisk or throwaway oversway wouldn’t have been too much to ask for? Wasted opportunities aside, as we go into chapter eight, it becomes clear that Erika’s feelings for Orphe are deepening, but with the likelihood that he may be her brother ever increasing, romance could turn to incest. In fact, since it’s being played so obviously, they probably aren’t related, but we’ll see in the coming chapters.

Nodame Cantabile 94-9: Chiaki’s goal is to move ever onwards and upwards, but when his father shows up at one of his performances, it puts him off guard- and proves that Chiaki isn’t as indifferent towards his parent as he might claim. Meanwhile, poor Nodame is beginning to feel like she is left behind- if Chiaki’s goal is his father, then her goal is Chiaki. Even though the “estranged parent” storyline is nothing new, I’m still intrigued by the continuing development of Chiaki and Nodame’s characters as they enter another growth phase. In particular, Chiaki seems determined to move far ahead in order to accomplish his goals, but at the same time he seems to expect Nodame to be waiting for him, even though she is busy with her own agendas. Are they just not destined to be together?

Oniisama E… 10: The second volume of the angst-driven manga continues as Kaoru gets injured during a basketball match and Nanako fangirls over Saint-Juste some more- it will all be familiar to anime viewers, but told in a much abbreviated form. Now to wait another year or so for the next chapter.

REC 34-6: If there’s one thing you can count on with REC, it’s that if something can go wrong, it will. Take Matsumaru, for example- all he wants to do is help Ao get through a cold, and the next thing he knows she’s undressed him whilst he’s asleep, taken a nude picture for Photoshop purposes, and left the door open so Aka can walk in. Naturally, Ao isn’t just your typical ‘other woman’- she has past issues, but it’s all so painfully predictable- and yet somehow I can’t just give up the series and walk away.

Risky Safety 2-3: I can’t even remember when I read the first chapter of this (memory supplies a date of around August 2006), but I’ve finally tracked down another two instalments of the series. Unlike the anime, the manga isn’t exclusively about Risky and Safety- in fact, they don’t appear at all in these two chapters. Instead, we get two stand-alone stories- one about a puppet girl named Fuzzy who will become a real human if she can just make one boy happy, the other about a mysterious new transfer student who may be attacking fellow classmates with demon blood. As short stories, they are both enjoyable (if much like various similar manga), but the chances of reading more any time soon seem slim.

*COMPLETE* Solanin 10-28: I’m happy to report that at long last I’ve been able to finish this manga, and that it was good enough to be worth the wait. With a spoilerific twist at the end of volume one that I can’t reveal, the second half of the series sees Meiko put in a position where she must make a decision about her future, but will she choose something constructive? I don’t want to give away too much here, but suffice to say that this is one series worth reading, and that a proper review to that effect will appear soon.

Spiral Alive 11-16: Whilst Kanone and Eyes step forth to make an appearance, the story continues to move on, and it all seems to be centred on a particular file that can disclose the identities of the hidden and dangerous Blade Children. It’s good stuff (although I wish Kousuke would let Ryoko help out instead of trying to protect her), even if there are a few too many feints and conflicting motives to get to grips with at the moment.

Spiral 60-66: This is the point I feared, where the series starts to lose its way, for whilst Hizumi makes a move by killing Kanone (NOOOOOO!!!!!!), the truth about Ayumu and Hizumi’s origin seems about to come to light, and it seems something of a cop out. Thanks to Hinano, I long knew it was coming, but even so it’s like that infamous spoiler from Star Ocean 3- you just don’t want to believe it until you’re confronted with it. Oh well, the artwork is still nice.

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle 172-7: I don’t really know what’s going on in Tsubasa anymore, and the sad fact is that I can’t even say that I particularly care (but I must keep reading, for like Macbeth I’ve come too far to go back now). After randomly showing up, Syaoran-clone decides to pick a fight with the real deal, whilst Fei Wong decides he only wants Sakura for her body (understandable, since her mind isn’t up to much). It’s just a shame that CLAMP have got so into drawing epic fight scenes (large explosions, tiny characters) that they’ve forgotten about the concept of including a plot.

Yotsuba& 49-50: Fifty chapters in and I’m still far from tired of Yotsuba- after all, we still have to see her go to school. In these two chapters, we see Yotsuba still enchanted with the farm after coming home, before she and her father head out to a restaurant for lunch, with the usual hilarious consequences.

There still seems to be too much anime to keep on top of, with only dull and infrequently released OVAs thus far being worth the chop. Still, I must try to keep on top of it, for matters will only get worse if I get horribly behind.

Reviewed this week: Bokurano 2, Cazador 3, Chevalier 21, Claymore 4, Darker than Black 3, Heroic Age 4, Koutetsu Sangokushi 2-3, Nanoha StrikerS 3, MariMite OVA 3, Nodame 11-13, Romeo X Juliet 3, SaiMono II 3, Sakura Taisen NY 2, Emma II 1

…and in manga: Bokurano 41, Cazador 1, Meine Liebe omake, REC 29, SaiMono 6, Tennai 25, Tsubasa 151 (I successfully resisted the urge to download School Rumble)

Since I’m lazy when it comes to text parody, Seirei no Moribito 2-3 will appear next week.

ANIME

Bokurano 2: One problem with watching any anime adaptation of a well-loved manga is the inevitable impatience, you want it to get to the ‘good stuff’ now, but the ‘good stuff’ always seems to be the next arc. This is just a general comment, but it should be noted that it may affect my impressions of the Bokurano anime in the future.

Getting back to this episode, I’m still torn between wanting to enjoy it and being scared to be too optimistic, with this instalment offering evidence for both sides. The first half seems a little slow paced, and Dung Beetle’s voice isn’t what I imagined it would be (although I can and will adapt to his actual voice), but once the action kicks in and the children fight their first proper opponent, the lure of the original manga becomes evident- and this is only the least developed character’s turn at the robot. Hopefully pacing issues won’t mar my future enjoyment of the series.

El Cazador de la Bruja 3: Cazador continues onwards in its own spectacularly dull way in this episode, which sees Nadie and Ellis stop off at an abandoned house during a rainstorm, with bounty hunters and the mysterious L.A. on their tail all the while. Much like Roots, this series seems to be more about promising that something will happen in the future than ensuring that it happens in the present, and so my interest remains low.

Le Chevalier d’Eon 21: When Teillagory reveals his true allegiance and supervises the capture of d’Eon for Orleans, it is left to Robin to rescue him, but with almost everyone now following their own secret agenda, his task will be far from easy. Despite some inconsistencies in the goals of the various antagonists, this is a solid enough episode which delivers on the action whilst setting up various threads for the finale.

Claymore 4: After leaving Claire in critical condition, the Yoma decides to withdraw until later in the episode, allowing our lead to scan everyone in the cathedral in case the Yoma is within them (why wasn’t this done in the first place?). Naturally, the beast shows up later on and battle begins, resulting in an episode that felt more contrived than it was interesting- although next time Claire’s back story arc begins, which will hopefully see an upsurge in quality. I’m starting to think about parodying Claymore- feedback on this decision would be appreciated (as in “yeah, do it” or “don’t bother, it won’t be funny”).

Darker than Black 3: Darker than Black turns in another compelling instalment in this episode, which starts a new two-part story which sees Li encounter a girl and her estranged father. Of course, there is much more to it than that, and in short order we are drawn back into the world of Contractors, mysterious powers and darker than black talking cats. Apart from SaiMono, which resides in a class of its own, this must surely be the best entry of the season.

In DtB, as in life, cats are in charge.

Heroic Age 4: As Heroic Age continues on its own inoffensive way, I don’t really care much about wherever the story is going (although I am glad to see Age wearing actual clothes even if his shirt remains open), and so apart from the emergence of some potential generals of evil, there isn’t much to say about this episode. In the future, I may look back and wonder why I wasted my time with this, but as with last week it remains watchable for now.

Koutetsu Sangokushi 2-3: Our hero of destiny Lu Xun is back for two more episodes, starting with an instalment that somehow manages to combine the monotonously dull with the utterly ridiculous. If we’re not stuck in a tedious conversation scene about minor plot trivialities, then we’re watching Lu Xun somehow magically fly through the air setting fire to thousands of physically improbable arrows. Meanwhile, episode three follows plot conventions by having the named characters undergo a trial of strength against Taishi Ci before being allowed to join the Wu army, whilst the duty of forwarding the plot is left to Zhuge Liang. Many of my early hopes for the series have already been dashed, but thanks to its parody potential it must continue to be watched.

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS 3: Although it still can’t be said to be particularly worthy, the third episode of StrikerS is at least free of the complete and utter monotony that permeated its predecessor. This time around, we have a fairly standard instalment that sees the dull and pointless new characters begin their training whilst the more interesting returning personalities are sidelined yet again. The action is at least more like what I want from Nanoha, although the animation has taken an unwelcome downturn, and I’m annoyed that the characters I actually like are clearly never going to get the development they need.

Maria-sama ga Miteru OVA 3: Ah, another fifty minutes of blatant HARD YURI (it may have been implied in the TV series, but no longer) – who could resist? I have to say that whatever attracted me to the TV series is long gone by now, with this episode split between Yumi getting followed by an obsessive first year who thinks men are more dangerous than lesbian stalkers and a visit to the terrifyingly bizarre Hanadera Boys’ School culture festival. In fact, aside from some unintentionally hilarious moments such as Sachiko running towards Yumi in a panda suit, this is all about as subtle and enjoyable as getting hit with a sledgehammer.

Nodame Cantabile 11-13: Since I didn’t realise that episode 11 was out until the amusingly named “HARD GAY fansubs” released episodes 12-13, it’s been a Nodame triple bill this week, which perfectly illustrates both the strengths and weaknesses of the series. Starting with Chiaki’s performance in the school festival concerto and Stresemann’s subsequent departure, Nodame turns in a rollercoaster ride of both good and bad moments, much like the rest of the series so far. There are times when I’m utterly captivated by the flashes of brilliance in the character insights and development, but unfortunately there are also moments when an irritating supporting character or an over the top piece of attempted humour will just ruin the mood. I’m also oddly distracted by the CG hands seen when Nodame and Chiaki play the piano- there’s just something fundamentally wrong about them.

Romeo X Juliet 3: RxJ shows previously untapped parody potential this week, as Romeo tries to get some quiet HORSE above the city, only to be interrupted by everything from his father crushing grapes to Juliet appearing in various guises. The series still remains entertaining, but now more than ever it seems to be begging to be put on the parody backburner.

Saiunkoku Monogatari II 3: Whilst Shuurei awaits the arrival of governor Kai You (and getting exasperated with Ryuuren in the mean time), back in Sa Province, Eigetsu is having difficulties of his own- there’s a mysterious cult who counts Lin Senya amongst its members (probably the real one rather than Sakujun), a plague, and if Yougetsu is to be believed, Eigetsu’s own time is short. As always, SaiMono delivers an episode that proves to be absorbing even when I barely know what is going on, although this week I have wonder how someone with a wanderlust as strong as Ryuuren’s can ever be expected to be a stable clan leader. Hyou Riou’s actions must also be closely observed- could he even be responsible for the snow fox that seems to be spreading the plague?

*DROPPED* Sakura Taisen New York 2: Even with franchise completion nipping at my heels, I couldn’t make it past the halfway mark with this episode, which throws the light entertainment of ST out of the window in favour of throwaway harem style fun with hideously insipid characters. Let us never speak of this dire OVA again.

No, Gemini, men can’t get pregnant outside of parody and Star Trek Enterprise.

*NEW* Victorian Romance Emma Second Act 1: Finally, what all Emma fans have been waiting for is here- a continuation of this excellent series in anime form. At the end of season one, Kelly’s death saw Emma take the train back to her hometown in an attempt to leave William and their impossible romance behind forever; now, a month has passed and she has found employment as a maid for the Molders family. Oddly enough, although this season has up to five volumes of manga material to cover (the first season managed only two), it chooses to begin with a filler episode about the ladies’ maid of the house stealing items in order to keep her boyfriend interested in her- only to pin the blame on new girl Emma when she is in danger of being caught. Although it didn’t seem quite up to Emma’s usual incredibly high standards, this was still an enjoyable episode, and a solid start to the new season.

MANGA

Bokurano 41: The cameras are rolling on Zearth’s latest battle, but Anko finds it hard to put on a good show against this enemy- not only do they have the ability to fire acid filled darts, but the lasers just aren’t responding. When it proves to be all Anko can do just to defend against her opponent’s attacks, it seems as if Zearth’s hopes of winning this battle are slim indeed. As always, Bokurano delivers another gripping chapter that makes me want to have the rest of the series here with me right now.

*NEW* El Cazador 1: I don’t know how diligently I’ll follow this manga, but it must be said that only for a Bee Train series can static black and white images have more action and movement than the animated version. A compressed version of episode one, this chapter features all the blood, action and fanservice that the anime couldn’t show (Nadie even gets naked at one point), whilst taking significantly less than twenty-five minutes to get through.

Meine Liebe vol 2 extra: Concluding the second volume of Meine Liebe is this extra chapter which sees Orphe take Erika out for the day whilst the other bishies prepare a birthday surprise. Somehow, Erika fails to realise that it is for her own birthday, and assumes the surprise is for Orphe, and although it all works out in the end, I do have to question her intelligence after that. Also, since I selfishly want this manga to be finished, I must point out that Kagami need scans and a new translator in order to continue this project.

REC 29: Matsumaru has a new Nekoki picture book to show Aka, but when he gets caught short on the train and there’s no toilet paper available, he is forced to rip out the last page in order to use instead (I’m not joking here). Naturally, Aka finds the torn up picture book in the park the next day and starts reading it to a conveniently placed crying child, but what will she do when she gets to the ending? I guess you have to give the mangaka points for coming up with a storyline that you don’t see every day, but seriously, is this series ever going to swap the lowbrow and near-hentai moments for some actual story development?

Saiunkoku Monogatari 6: It feels somewhat odd to go back to the very first arc of the series at this stage, but even so, who cannot help but love SaiMono just as much the second time around? This chapter sees Seiran confront Sa Taiho whilst Ryuuki heads off to rescue Shuurei, with the only real complaint being that the artwork seems a little rushed in places.

Tenshi Nanka Janai 25: In the world of shoujo, what happens after you break up with your One True Love and try to go out with your Childhood Friend? Naturally, even though Childhood Friend is devoted to you and completely devoid of the troublesome secrets and emotional baggage that One True Love carries around, you just can’t develop feelings for him, and so it is that in this chapter, Midori breaks up with Ken shortly after developing a bad reputation at school for two-timing Akira. As before, it’s all standard stuff, but it’s still enjoyable in an easy on the brain fashion.

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle 151: Thought Tsubasa was pointlessly convoluted enough already? Welcome to chapter 151, in which the group learns that Sakura went into the dream to find feathers in order to avoid collecting the ones in Fye’s home world Celes, and that Syaoran-clone will be joining her to assist in the search. Meanwhile, Fye decides to offer Yuuko the sight in his right eye in exchange for being sent back to the very world he spent 151 chapters running away from, effectively rendering him blind until his left eye is recovered. Poor Fye, he’s now a blind cursed vampire…can things get any worse for him?

It’s dangerous to stop playing Harvest Moon- once you give it a rest, you realise how tedious it is, and consequently don’t want to resume play. Nonetheless, I must get back to the game, for Anton’s story must surely be told.

Le Chevalier Orphe
Remember all those Meine Liebe crossovers I suggested when I was parodying the series? At the time, the list seemed complete, but in the interim, a new candidate has appeared- Le Chevalier Orphe! Possessed by the spirit of his dead sister Robertine (Lia), Orphe (d’Eon) and his allies must uncover the secrets that lurk beneath the surface of Kuchen’s royal court.

Characters

Orphe/Robertine= d’Eon/Lia (the lead and his sister)

Ed= Anna (the lead’s lover, only not)

Camus= Robin (the useless sidekick, has a connection with the bishiest)

Gerard= Durand (already working for the King)

Isaac= Teillagory (the older man of uncertain allegiance)

Lui= Robespierre (the bishiest)

Beruze= Orleans (the evil that never goes away)

Naoji= Lorenza (subordinate to the bishiest)

King= Louis (the King)

Bartholomeus= Marie (the King’s wife who seems to know many secrets)

Bernard = Pompadour (seems evil at first but may not actually be)

Eilos= Pompadour’s underling (ugly generic underling)

Harvest Moon Ultimate
Last time, we saw how tedious Harvest Moon will eventually become, but this week it is time to look at the opposite case- how to improve the game to make it more enjoyable.

• You can choose to start as a farm hand, taking care of just one section of the farm until you feel ready to cope with more. Once you move up in the farming world, you can hire underlings who are more efficient than Harvest Sprites.
• Useless animals such as ducks and goats are not present.
• Pigs are now available, and along with other animals, can be sent to the slaughterhouse.
• You can charm as many members of the opposite sex as you want, and get them all to join your harem and even work on the farm. You can also choose whether or not to have children, and any offspring of yours will also work on the farm.
• If you like, you can choose to specialise in one class of crops or livestock- if you do so, you can unlock more variations and breeds for your chosen specialisation.
• Horses and dogs can be bred as a business, and also entered into competitions (racing, agility etc).
• Special livestock such as grunties, chocobos, ostriches and deer can all be unlocked by the dedicated farmer.
• Hurricanes and blizzards no longer occur.

Red Garden 14

Rose vows to improve her HARD YURI stamina so that she can please Rachel in bed.

Kate decides that they should practice HARD YURI in order to be ready for the next group session.

Kate doesn’t want to waste any time, but then again…

…neither does Rose.

Rachel impresses her girlfriends with her toned body and limitless stamina.

Claire wants nothing more than to learn how to give good HARD YURI.

She is in awe of how well Kate performed in their last session.

“Did you grow a Zhuge Liang?”

Kate explains that she has almost mastered the art of HARD YURI Pleasure.

Claire is eager to see her in action.

Kate suggests a threesome.

As it turns out, Claire wanted Kate all to herself.

Note the appearance of a pizza place.

Kate has trouble getting the same effect with Hyper Self Pleasure.

“It either all comes at once or not at all!”

“At least you can Pleasure yourself.”

Nick tries explain why he is HARD GAY.

Paula wants to confess the truth about her many lovers to Kate.

“She is HARD YURI, you are BI.”

The headmistress remembers her first BI session.

Something kinkier than anything that has appeared before now- that’s difficult to imagine.

Short parody: Gundam Seed

In flashback, we see Kira and Athrun as they go their separate ways.

Kira: Never forget our HARD GAY, Athrun.

Athrun: You’d better not cheat on me, Kira.

Years later, on the Archangel…

Murrue: Kira, you are an untrained teenager who has never been in battle before, but you are also the Destined One and our only hope. You must fight.

Kira: I hate fighting! Talking to the enemies who are currently shooting at us is the only way.

Mu: Kira, you must fight.

Kira: Oh, okay then; I’ll show everyone that peace is the answer by going out and shooting them all down.

Kira confronts Athrun and the other Gundam pilots in battle.

Athrun: Kira, come over to our side! Coordinators are genetically designed to give much better HARD GAY than Naturals!

Kira: Even though the audience can barely remember their names, I must protect my friends and everyone on this ship!

Yzak: Come on, it’s four against one; let’s just shoot him down.

Athrun: You idiot, he’s the main character! We’d better retreat for now.

Yzak: I’ll be back next week, Kira Yamato!

After Cagalli comes aboard…

Cagalli: I want to pilot too!

Mu: You fool- no woman can do any good in the cockpit of a moble suit! Even if we do let you out, you must promise to either get shot down straightaway or fly around aimlessly in the background.

Astray Pilots: We’ve had special training to ensure we never actually hit any important targets!

Weekly Awards

Apples of the week: By taking a trip back into the past to HARD YURI series Oniisama E, we can see that apples have long been a part of anime history.

Return of the grapes: Not only do they make another appearance in SaiMono as part of a selection of autumn fruit (even Anton has to harvest them in the autumn) but Muscat grapes are also spotted in Gankutsuou.

ED of the week: ED themes rarely get much in the way of the attention thanks to their generally slow and dull nature, but this week another prize must go to Gankutsuou for its ED- “You Won’t See Me Coming”.

HARD GAY corner: X TV
Kamui and Fuuma had long held HARD GAY feelings for each other, but before they could consummate their relationship, many obstacles lay in front of them. Following Kamui’s return to Tokyo after a long absence (the death of Kamui’s mother had shown him the inadvisability of choosing women), each had to prove their worthiness as a partner by not only mastering their ‘Divine Sword’, but by assembling a BI harem of lesser lovers.

After building their harems and locating (if not yet mastering) their ‘swords’, one more hurdle lay in their path- Fuuma’s sister Kotori. As a woman, she could turn Fuuma and Kamui STRAIGHT, thus coming between them and endangering this love. In order to prevent this, Fuuma killed Kotori, but even then, the course of true love was not to run smooth. Both Kamui and Fuuma now had harems to look after, and servicing all their harem members proved such a drain that they could no longer see each other. In desperation, the pair were forced to arrange liaisons between harem members (such as Subaru and Seiishirou) in the hopes that this would free up some time.

With the explosive encounters between HARD GAY and BI harem members slowly whittling down their numbers, Kamui and Fuuma were finally able to see each other once again. Choosing Tokyo Tower, the symbol of HARD GAY, as their meeting place, the two finally used their ‘Divine Swords’ against each other in an intense HARD GAY encounter that sapped the last of their energy. Many had died in this ultimate clash of harems and Pleasure, but the survivors could agree on one thing- it had all been worth it.

Mini-rant: Jaded? I don’t think so
Like most hobbies, when someone first gets into anime, oftentimes they cannot get enough of it. It could be any old crap on TV, a DVD on sale in HMV or something that a random forum member recommended- the point is that it’s anime, and therefore it must be watched, regardless of actual quality.

Of course, after a while, you begin to realise that just because something happens to be anime, that is not a guarantee that it is going to be to your tastes- and after all, why should it be? Anime is just animation that happens to be produced in Japan; do we expect every book written in England or every film made in the US to be good? A few are very good, most are average to mediocre, and some are downright awful- it’s the same with most things.

Unfortunately, having gotten over the ‘first flush’ phase of anime, there are those who do not acknowledge this fact, instead choosing to believe that just because they do not like everything from Last Exile to Mahoromatic, that makes them jaded. They may have only seen twenty to fifty of the many hundreds of anime series and films that exist, but in their minds, they have seen and done it all.

Nonetheless, it has to be said- people at this stage are not jaded, for this is not the stage where you have seen everything anime has to offer, but rather the one where you have to realise that not every series is going to be for you. This is the time where you have to decide the genres that most demand your attention, and the level of quality which you are prepared to watch. Will you limit yourself to the cream of the crop, or delve to the bottom of the barrel? Can only slice of life hold your interest, or is mecha worth a look as well? Should you watch three episodes every evening, or just one DVD at the weekend?

At this point, your anime experience can never be the same as it was in the early days when you bought, downloaded and watched everything you can get your hands on, but do not mistake that for having reached anime exhaustion. All that has happened is that you have adjusted your viewing habits to a more sustainable long-term routine- it will take many more series and a far larger body of anime experience before you will have the right to correctly label yourself jaded.

Plushie Review: Fat Cat Mikoto

Although it has long since been discontinued, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to review plush Mikoto, the best thing to emerge from Mai-Otome. Unfortunately, despite the irresistible lure of owning a Mikoto plushie, this one does have quite a few weakness, as listed below-

• The grey isn’t quite the right shade, whilst eyebrows and ear tips are brown instead of black.
• Her pose ensures she is not as fat and huggable as the real Mikoto
• Most features (eyes, paw pads etc) are just stickers.
• The bell comes off relatively easily (I’ve had to sew it back twice).
• Seam-work and material is not the best quality considering the price.

That being said, there isn’t much choice for those wanting a plush Mikoto, and on the positive side, she is still reasonably huggable, with soft front legs and a dour facial expression worthy of the real thing. Even if you could still get it, it wouldn’t be one for casual buyers, but fat cat fans should not be seen without one.

*NEW* Harem of the Week: Emiya Shirou (Fate/Stay Night)

Harem of the Week will alternate with In Your Reflection from now on.

He entered the Holy Grail war not to earn the Grail itself, but rather to gather as many women as possible (see Fate/Shirou Harem Diaries for more details) as the male characters were killed off.

Harem

Sakura Matou: the childhood friend and housewife. Temporarily left the harem and became a bondage queen under the influence of Caster.

Taiga Fujiwara: Teacher and older woman.

Saber: Shirou’s summoned Servant, the reincarnation of King Arthur. A dedicated swordswoman with rigid code of honour, who held the position of first wife. Shirou has entered her many times.

Rin Tohsaka: Cool upperclassman skilled in magic; the brains of the operation.

Ilya: Obligatory loli, likes to sleep in Shirou’s bed. Wants to be first wife.

Failures

Rider: Killed by Saber before she could leave her Master and take up the role of bondage queen.

Caster: Shirou never had a chance, but wanted her anyway. Jason advised against it.

Defeated Rivals

Archer: Actually Shirou in his future legendary hero form, but they do say you’re your own worst enemy. Since he was invisible most of the time he wasn’t really a threat, but as long as he was alive, there was a chance Rin might go off on her own.

Berserker: The only obstacle between Shirou and Ilya; he also had the temerity to grope Rin.

Shinji: Tried to ally with Rin, also the obstacle between Shirou and Rider.

Gilgamesh: A golden-haired Ueki reject looking to claim Saber for his own; the plot decreed that he had to be defeated by the end.

Kuzuki: Although he was defeated, Shirou was never able to win Caster from him.

Fashion police: Camus Luneburg

To be fair, the top half of Camus’ attire isn’t too bad (although arguably a cloak is not for such a pathetic character as he is, and he could stand to lose the cravat), but the Fashion Police have had to be called out purely on account of his shorts. Attached to his tall boots by a rather embarrassing set of suspenders, the lower half of Camus’ body gives the game away in terms of his state- an effeminate young man used as a whipping boy in the regular HARD GAY sessions.

Fashion sense: C-

Amusing Search Terms

lolicon: this now tops my search terms list every day…every single day.

you toube: old friend you toube.

night proxy flame com: Perhaps I should use this as the name of my next blog.

raising from the dead anime: there is actually an anime called Necromancer, but it’s hentai.

hikaru no go fandom: Join us…

saber is mine: why do people keep looking for this?

code geass mp3: not here.

0170 Hikaru no GO: GO and find the ROM somewhere else.

Meine Liebe Wurst
Welcome to the third season of popular bishounen series Meine Liebe- Meine Liebe Wurst! In the hallways of Rosenstolz, Lui and the other Strahl candidates are busy teaching Elmunt, Nicholas and Daniel all about being part of the HARD GAY inner circle, but unbeknownst to them, their old enemy Beruze is getting ready to strike again! Having enlisted the aid of generic Duke Munst, Beruze plans to launch his third attempt at taking the throne of Kuchen; can our heroes overcome their individual angst arcs and help Lui find a way to foil his latest evil plot?

Wurst includes some of the following exciting events-

• We finally see inside the penis-shaped airship that floats high above Kuchen, thanks to flashbacks from the days when Barty was missing.
• Now reconciled with his evil stepmother, Ed goes out to tea with her before continuing the futile search for his long lost sister.
• Naoji goes back to Japan, but realises his true calling lies in Kuchen and returns in order to restore the status quo.
• Camus takes Elmunt to see his brother Leohart for some three-way HARD GAY.
• Isaac lurks around in back alleys looking mysterious but not actually doing a great deal.
• The Strahl visit the palace and reunite with Gerard, whilst the King becomes even more motionless and ineffectual than ever (except when he is with Barty).
• Camus grows yellow roses in his greenhouse.
• Lui sips tea whilst reading a book.

Rozen Maiden Again
Prepare for more dolls, more battles, and more inconsistent plot points as Rozen Maiden also gains its third season- Rozen Maiden Again! When Souseiseki and Hinaichigo mysteriously wake up, the Rozen Maidens are gathered together for an announcement; last time was merely a trial run, and the Alice Game proper begins now. Unfortunately, a previously unmentioned rival from the school of doll-making that Rozen once attended has created his own army of Shadow Maidens, evil dolls of limited lifespan who can only attain true life by stealing the Rosae Mystica! Should the Rozen Maidens continue to fight each other, or should they ally to counter this new threat?

Otogi-jushi Akazukin 26

An all-male scene in the new OP heralds the start of a new HARD GAY era.

The party encounters a church that specialises in HARD GAY marriages.

Souta quickly hooks up with a new partner.

Unfortunately, as a HARD GAY virgin, his first experience is a little painful.

“What do you mean, you’re not really HARD GAY?”

“…I thought we had a future together!”

Jed explains that the public response to Souta’s denial of HARD GAY has been unfavourable.

Short parody: Code Geass II

Lelouch uses his Geass on generics.

Lelouch: I command you to buy Pizza Hut.

The generics head off to buy Pizza Hut.

Lelouch: Everything is going as planned! By forcing everyone to buy nothing but Pizza Hut, I can cause an economic collapse!

CC: Plus it’s tasty and nutritious too.

Suzaku is sent out in his mecha.

Suzaku: I must stop Zero’s evil plans before all the pizzas are sold out!

(Onscreen notice: Please watch Code Geass in a well-lit room whilst eating Pizza Hut.)

Weekly Awards

Generics of the Week: Whilst the generic guards of Deltora Quest episode one deserve a mention, none of them can hold a candle to Sa Soujun of SaiMono. Since he is a named character, technically he should not qualify as a generic, but his reused character design and minor villain ways enable him to steal the prize from true generics.

Apples of the Week: Whilst poor Anton of Harvest Moon BTN finally gets a break with some free apples from his apple tree, Deltora Quest must be mentioned again for having a generic girl who longs for an apple.

Crude series of the Week: What else could it be than the nausea-inducing Busou Renkin? Male nudity, comparing sizes, Victor…somehow it doesn’t even have to try.

Tree Monster Honourable Mention: Just as they did in the OVA OP, tree monsters finally show up in Otogi-jushi Akazukin TV.

OP of the Week: It may be far from new, but Kare Kano’s Tenshi no Yubikiri still scoops a long overdue prize.

HARD GAY corner: Berserk

Raised by Gambino and introduced to the battlefield at an early age, Guts soon learned about the rough and intense HARD GAY that occurred there. Equipped with a sword more impressive than that of any other man, Guts developed a voracious appetite for HARD GAY, but unfortunately, his partners never survived for long, forcing him to continually move on.

The day he met Griffith and the Band of the Hawk was a revelation for Guts; apart from token female Caska, here was a whole new vein of HARD GAY males to plumb. In particular, Griffith was the one who fascinated him, for here at long last was a man who could match him in the bedroom.

Guts and Griffith shared many years of HARD GAY, but deep in Guts’ heart, doubts began to surface- did Griffith consider him as anything more than a mere plaything in the bedroom? Determined to prove that he was more than that, Guts left the Band, only to send Griffith into such despair that he even tried sleeping with a woman to take his mind off the pain of losing a HARD GAY partner!

Unfortunately, it was all downhill from there; after being imprisoned for months without a partner, Griffith’s frustrations became such that only the power of the Godhand could hope to relieve his throbbing libido. With this in mind, Griffith decided to shed his human body and enter a whole new level of HARD GAY. Now left behind but still branded as Griffith’s lover, Guts decided to set out a journey to meet the Godhand and undergo one last explosive HARD GAY encounter…

Licensing Reactions

It’s been a week of announcements from FUNimation, of which I’ll focus on the ones that are relevant to me.

• Aquarion: Since I’m one of a handful of people who love Aquarion, this is great news. Quite possibly my favourite mecha series overall, Aquarion combines top quality music and animation (let’s try to forget about ‘experimental’ episode nineteen) with a story that avoids the usual mecha pitfalls of taking itself too seriously.
• Suzuka: An entertaining but not outstanding series overall, Suzuka has a few episodes that make it seem worthy purchasing on DVD, but when I think of Akitsuki’s stupidity, I wonder if it is indeed worth it. Although I know we’re all supposed to be upstanding citizens who only ever buy the singles as they are released, I’ll probably wait for the boxset if I choose to invest in this.
• Tsubasa Chronicle was licensed a year ago, but has only now received a street date. Unfortunately, in that time, I have seen the tedious filler-fest that was season two, and where I might once have bought this on DVD, I am now no longer inclined to do so; I’ll just stick to buying the manga (although even that is losing its allure).
• Mushishi also receives an official confirmation of what we all already knew- as one of my favourite series, it will be great to finally get my hands on these long awaited DVDs (not to mention the manga, which should be out around now).

Mini-rant: Sensible, correct and the choice of all right-thinking people, or gimmicky, hideous and flashy?
Yes, for those who haven’t worked it out, this rant comes in response to ANN’s recent ‘unbiased’ poll about DVD subtitles vs. fansub subtitles. Now admittedly, at the end of the day, the most important thing is that the subtitles are readable, and there are technical reasons why DVD softsubs have such a basic appearance, but let’s face it- from an aesthetic point of view, that yellow is just ugly.

Of course, on the flip side of the coin, fansub groups can get a little overenthusiastic with flashy karaoke subs and the unnecessary subtitling of every single insert song, but at least their subtitles are more visually pleasing. There’s room for better fonts, colours, and the occasional effect to indicate telepathy or similar is a nice touch; flame me, if you will, but I even quite like it when different characters get different coloured outlines on their dialogue- it’s not that I need that to tell who is speaking, I just appreciate the attention to detail. It’s hardly as if it’s a new thing, either- subtitles on UK TV have been doing the same thing for years.

This may seem like a somewhat pointless rant since I haven’t even bothered to cover the accuracy of subtitles, translation of honorifics and the like, but that was never the point of this piece. All I wanted was to air my opinion that fansub subtitles are not the devil’s own work, and actually look quite good.

Figure Review: ⅛ Saber

I forget who made this Saber, but although I got mine last year, a re-release is forthcoming. For some reason, this Saber is smaller than the average ⅛ figure, so either it has been mislabelled, or Saber is actually a midget.

In terms of detail, this figure is a lot more simplistic than my usual choice, and I have to admit that if it had come out a while after it did, I probably wouldn’t have bought it at all. In the flesh, it does look quite nice, and the boots, sword and hair are well detailed, but just like Saber herself, the main costume is a little dull. Overall, it’s a technically well done piece, but it doesn’t really have any great aesthetic hooks- were I buying a Saber figure now, I would pick Alter’s Dark Saber instead.

In Your Reflection

This week’s head to head is between Bleach’s Yoruichi and Shrine of the Morning Mist’s Koma. Both are beautiful young women and formidable fighters in their true forms, but each is first seen in their alternate form as a black cat.

Fashion police: Selphie Tilmitt
Admittedly, when you’re hanging out with the FFVIII crowd, you don’t need to have the greatest fashion sense in the world, but even by the game’s standards, Selphie leaves a lot to be desired. The main offender is, of course, that hideous yellow dress, although to call it a dress is a bit of a stretch when it looks more like a duster. Not only is the colour nothing less than hideous, but the lack of fabric is a poor choice for someone who hails from the cold country of Trabia. Even an attempt to add some variety through wristbands is a failure, whilst Selphie’s hairstyle could also use work- get rid of the curls at the bottom and either cut it or tie it back.

Fashion sense: F

Amusing Search Terms

audition sea hack, hack pre audition, Down hack perfect audition, hack audition mew, hack perfect audition SEA, hack audition, hack audition perfect, hack cash audition: Please, if you’ve clicked on this post looking up one of these, can you comment and tell me what the hell they are?

busou renkin Doujin free: No doujins here.

define:lolicon: what am I, wikipedia?

utawarerumono tactics interesting: Coming soon, Uta Tactics, a specialised empire building game.

ugly Ginga Densetsu weed: Well, yes, the animation isn’t great.

GAY PASS HACK: I can’t just give out free passes.

romance of three kingdom toys: Every little boy wants a Zhuge Liang.

options21 not work: I’m very sorry it doesn’t work, but what do you want me to do about it?

harvest moon parody: “So today I thought to myself, I’ll just google for parodies of a farming game…and what do you know, I actually found one!”

2d battle maker: No, no, no, this is the isometric era.

lolicon, lolicon ero: none here.

large boobs: Large boobs sighted!

two endings weed ginga: only in the multi-path RPG, I’m afraid.

Kanon 2006 5 1/3: Episode 5 1/3, the secret hentai episode.

Amusing Spam has been put to one side since I simply get too much to sift through it all for the good stuff.

Apologies for the sudden and unannounced hiatus; I know many of you will have experienced unpleasant withdrawal symptoms due to a lack of your daily Azure Flame, but I must assure you that this period has been equally painful for me as well. Due to a recent bout of gale force winds, some local power lines were damaged, and 2pm Thursday saw me thrust into a world not unlike the hell of Anton’s farming days. With the blackout extending as far as the local church, all I could do was sleep, listen to my mp3 player and read Kare Kano until the time came to depart for the weekend to a land of electricity but no internet access.

Anyway, if this has been posted, then obviously all is well again, and so I will try to catch up on missed posts and resume normal service.

I realise that I have inadvertently missed out on some chapters of the Higurashi manga, and that the download links for them have long since expired- due to this problem, reading and reviewing the Watanagashi and Tatarigoroshi arcssh is stalled for now.

Reviewed this week: Corda 6, Death Note 13, Kanon 15, Nodame 1, Red Garden 13, ROTK 38, SaiMono 25

…and in manga: .hack//GU+ 5, .hack//XXXX 1, Erementar Gerad 23, Gunslinger Girl 20-22, Higurashi Onikakushi 3, Nanoha StrikerS 3, Meine Liebe 6, Tsubasa 139-40

ANIME

La Corda d’Oro 6: As if a magical violin wasn’t unfair enough, Tsuchiura gets entered into the concours from the second round onwards (since he’s a normal student and a genuine piano prodigy, do we even need Kahoko to compete at all?). Before that arc gets underway, however, it’s time for the obligatory ‘training arc at supporting characters villa’ episodes; a fact which turns me off somewhat as I feel I have seen enough such episodes over the last few months to last me a lifetime. I have to admit that my initial passion for Corda is starting to cool a little under the weight of the increasing angst and predictability, but I have begun considering whether or not to give it the parody treatment.

Death Note 13: With Misa fully in the game now, things are getting interesting, but unfortunately those overly theatrical moments won’t go away- did we really need to see Light hug Misa in slow motion x3 like a Hong Kong action flick? Misa’s personality also seems different to the impression I’d got from the manga; I’d envisioned her to be a lot more confident and forceful than her anime personality.

Kanon 15: After what seems like an interminable journey, Mai’s arc finally comes to an end in this episode, with the defeat of the last few monsters and Yuuichi’s discovery of the truth through a convenient flashback. Key’s girls have always had special powers, but I can’t help feeling that giving Mai the ability to revive the dead (along with creating translucent CG monsters) was pushing it just a little too far. Even the drama of the moment in which she defeats a monster by jumping off the school roof is offset by a rather cheesy follow-up in which a fragment of power declares “you can call me hope” and saves Mai’s life after her attempted suicide.

On the plus side, I did enjoy the background music for this episode, and the field that Mai and Yuuichi played in was an especially nice setting that I’ll probably use for a banner or wallpaper in the future. I’m also appreciative of the fact that KyoAni is giving a more complete story than Toei did; it’s just a shame that that means the pace is excruciatingly slow and that more flaws in the plot are exposed.

*NEW* Nodame Cantabile 1: I’m not sure what to make of Nodame right now; I was expecting “Honey and Clover with music”, but what I got was just a little too off-kilter to be entirely satisfying. The first episode introduces us to Chiaki, a would-be conductor who is stuck in piano school due to his fear of travelling overseas to Europe, and Nodame, a female pianist with innate talent but a seeming inability to look after herself. Unfortunately, right now I’m having a hard time connecting with either character (the fart jokes don’t help); despite my high hopes, I have learned once again how dangerous it is to approach a series with any significant degree of optimism.

Red Garden 13: Today on Red Garden- angst, angst and, just for a change, some more angst. During the day, Rachel is in the middle of relationship issues, Kate is trapped between HARD YURI and evil Hervé, Rose is pathetic, and Claire is quite thankfully offscreen. Night time sees all four girls come together to beat up even more men, enabling Kate to learn the Float special ability, whilst Rose still hasn’t progressed beyond Cry; I can hardly blame Rachel for being annoyed with her when I want to slap her as well. All in all, a generally dull episode with only minimal reasons to continue with the series; apart from all my other complaints about the series, the Romeo and Juliet passage in the ED only highlights how pathetic and misplaced its attempts to be ‘arty’ are.

Romance of the Three Kingdoms 38: What Dynasty Warriors player can forget that FMV of Zhao Yun cradling Liu Bei’s son even as he bravely ran from the enemy? What novel reader cannot recall Liu Bei’s wife throwing herself down a well so that Zhao Yun would save only the child, only for Liu Bei to dash his son to the ground because his beloved general risked his life? In case you hadn’t guessed, this is the point where that scene gains its animated form, although the part about the well and the baby being thrown to the ground are omitted in the interests of Liu Bei’s Justice. Nonetheless, this is one of the instantly recognisable events from the era, and it also provides a few chuckles towards the end; one of the better episodes from the latter part of the series.

Saiunkoku Monogatari 25: At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I must once again enthuse over how much I love SaiMono. This episode was just what I want from anime- twenty-five minutes that can simultaneously be parodied and adored. Soujun may have some serious issues with wood (it is, after all, less generic and more highly paid than he is), but Sakujun is deliciously evil- much as I want Shuurei to succeed, it is interesting to see her in the hands of a master manipulator. This episode sees the various parties arrive at their appointed destination in Kinka, but their troubles are far from over when it turns out that the Sa clan may still be one step ahead. As always, the next episode is needed immediately.

MANGA

.hack//GU+ 5: It had to happen eventually; no main character can go for long without gaining the destined power needed to effortlessly defeat even the toughest of opponents. Unable to win on his bishie good looks alone (even real world Endrance seems rather good looking), Endrance is forced to stand and watch along with all the other named characters as Haseo summons his avatar forth. In another few months, I should be able to see what happens next.

.hack//XXXX 1: At long last, the retelling of the first .hack games can begin, albeit with fewer grunties than I’d like. This chapter covers the Data Draining or Orca, before skipping ahead to Kite, BlackRose and Mistral battling Skeith- albeit with a new twist at the end that ensures this most definitely won’t be the same story we played in the games. I guess there’s life in the old World yet.

Erementar Gerad/Elemental Gelade 23: Both the fight between Rowen and Grayarts and the journey to the next continent come to an end in this chapter, with the promise that the plot can properly move on to the next arc (which, sadly, is the Viro arc). A generally laid back and not particularly outstanding instalment.

Gunslinger Girl 20-22: After the long drought, Gunslinger Girl is beginning to trickle through, with these three chapters taking us through to the end of volume four. Whilst by no means bad, chapter twenty is the weakest of the three, showcasing a mission for Rico and briefly introducing a new cyborg, Beatrice. Next up are a pair of chapters that delve more deeply into the lives of the fratello and the pasts of the handlers- first Giuseppe and Henrietta, and then Hilshire and Triela. Gunslinger Girl always knows how to interweave character drama with action scenes, and these chapters are no exception- I can’t wait for more.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Onikakushi 3: A long chapter that concludes the first Onikakushi volume whilst only covering up to the second episode of the anime, Oni 3 sees Keiichi drawn further into the mystery of Hinamizawa. As always, the manga goes into more depth than the anime, and so whilst I’m a little turned off of the Higurashi franchise overall, this was a fairly enjoyable chapter.

*DROPPED* Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS 3: I think my enthusiasm for this series can be summarised by the fact that I had this on my hard drive for weeks and it took until now to remember to read it. After ploughing through a mediocre setup with equally uninspiring artwork (which for some reason is drawn in dark blue and white instead of black and white), I can’t be bothered with this series any more. The Nanoha anime may not be great, but at least it has colour and movement.

Meine Liebe 6: Unlike the anime, the Meine Liebe manga is closer to the original game, featuring one girl and the five bishounen of her reverse harem. This episode sees our lead boost her relationship score with Orphe after running into the Strahl (minus Lui) during the summer vacation. It’s not as good as the anime, nor, in fact, particularly good at all, but it’s interesting to follow familiar characters along an alternate path.

Tsubasa Chronicle 139-40: The mystery of Infinity World has ever so slightly been revealed; if Sakura and the others can win the grand prize at human chess, Yuuko will grant their wish to restore X world. Unfortunately, Sakura’s usefulness is coming to an end, when she hesitates in a crucial battle, Syaoran-real is forced to step up and be heroic. Just as I was despairing of the plot going anywhere, however, 140 takes a detour into Fye’s life, with King Ashura finally awakening; if CLAMP are finally ready to play this card, does that mean Tsubasa might actually come to an end one day?

Before you flame me, these hits and misses are partly based on what the series was supposed to achieve; for example, Medabots was clearly meant to be a kids’ show rather than a piece of high art- but for what it was, it wasn’t bad.

THE HITS
Even the series I would consider as successful examples of Bee Train’s work are not universally beloved; in fact, more often than not, I see them labelled as ‘painfully slow’ or even ‘tedious crap’. I’ll admit that all three of these series are slow burners that really are something of an acquired taste, but I honestly believe that all of them have worth.

.hack//SIGN

Seconds later, this poor grunty walks into the wall.

I have to admit, when I watched the first volume of .hack//SIGN, it wasn’t at all what I was expecting. I had assumed that a series set inside an MMORPG would contain some degree of action, so discovering that The World was more of a beautifully rendered chat room was a bit of an unwelcome surprise. Nonetheless, I remained determined to persevere with it (not least because of Yuki Kajiura’s wonderful score, which remains one of my favourite anime OSTs to this day), and by the series’ halfway point, I was duly rewarded with a slowly unfolding mystery that sucked me in and made me want to know exactly what the answers to the questions were going to be. Admittedly, the ending proved that this part of the story was really about Subaru and Tsukasa, but it was still a worthy introduction to the .hack games.

Memorable moments: Standing at the red Chaos Gate; Balmung’s arrival; the death of the little grunty; Crim charging in on a grunty; Tsubasa realising that his memories were deteriorating.

Meine Liebe
Based on a reverse harem dating game, Meine Liebe TV took away the girls and made all the guys HARD GAY for each other. Set in a fictional European country in the 1930s, Meine Liebe combined the allure of the past with what was effectively a male version of MariMite. A short yet surprisingly addictive series that brought us one of the five Pillar bishies in the form of the delectable Ludwig-sama.

Memorable moments: Ludwig outmanoeuvring Beruze; Camus fainting at the sight of women; Orphe explaining how he used to get into mischief with Ed.

Noir
The first truly original Bee Train production, Noir was unique in being a 26 episode series that only had four regular cast members, with pretty much everyone else getting killed off in short order. Another slowly unfolding story, Noir tells the story of a pair of assassins who take on the codename Noir, only to uncover the dark history behind the moniker they have chosen. First time around, I love every episode, but I have to admit that on rewatch, the standalone episodes in the first half of the series didn’t seem as entertaining, although the main storyline was as compelling as ever. It’s not quite good enough to be an all time favourite, but it’s the sort of series that appears in the top ten lists of people who have only watched a limited number of series. It also benefits from a top quality soundtrack from Yuki Kajiura, which also happened to be my first experience of her work.

Memorable moments: Kirika admitting she can kill people and not feel sad; Kirika wandering around town to the strains of ‘Salva Nos II’; the early assassination scenes; Chloe in the colosseum.

NEUTRALS

.hack//Legend Of the Twilight
Some might argue that LOT was the dose of light-heartedness that .hack franchise needed, and whilst it was certainly something a little different, it also suffered for that. The bright colours and action elements were most welcome, but the story could never hope to be anything more than light entertainment, and, inevitable as it perhaps was, it was a shame to see the manga story altered. The music was also the weakest link in the .hack chain; whilst the simplistic electronic sounds worked well in the context of the series, the soundtrack is somewhat underwhelming on its own (I only have the CD because it came with the artbox).

Memorable moments: the baby grunty; the very first scene of a generic actually battling a monster.

Arc the Lad

He was weak in the later game levels, but I have a soft spot for Pandit.

One of Bee Train’s earliest series, Arc the Lad hails from the studio’s initial video game adaptation era, back in the days when they still knew how to do action. As with most RPG adaptations, Arc the Lad doesn’t have the most sophisticated of stories, but it scores a few points for its darker themes, such as the often stomach-turning transformations of humans into monstrous chimeras. Although it’s not something I’d particularly recommend (I only watched it because it happened to be on TV), I do feel a pang of fondness for the series since it kick started my love-hate relationship with the games.

Memorable moments: the moment we see the Holy Mother.

Medabots
Yes, I might as well admit, I have watched Medabots, and while I can’t say it is either particularly good, well animated, or anything like Bee Train’s usual style, if you treat it as a parody of the average shounen series, it is actually quite amusing (for the first season, anyway, it does take itself a bit too seriously in the second). Once again, it’s not something I’d particularly recommend, but it was fun at the time.

Memorable moments: for sheer cheesiness, the English OP.

Meine Liebe Wieder
As I’ve already said several times before, Meine Liebe Wieder simply couldn’t live up to the first season; after promising that it would have some kind of a plot, it turned out to be a disappointing rehash of season one, with more HARD GAY and a whole new bevy of uninteresting characters.

Memorable moments: The return of Gandalf Barty.

Tsubasa Chronicle Season One
Back when I was watching it, I would certainly have classed Tsubasa as a hit, but in retrospect, I can’t help wondering if it was really all that good. Certainly the story didn’t really take off until the Outo arc, although for this season, the series was very faithful to the manga, so Bee Train cannot really be faulted for the content. Even the action scenes were supplemented by another excellent score from none other than Yuki Kajiura, which certainly helped me to disregard any lack of actual movement.

Memorable moments: Syaoran fighting in Outo.

THE MISSES

.hack//Liminality
As interesting as it was to have a look at the non-game side of the .hack universe, in all honesty, Liminality was not that marvellous. Not only was the animation disappointingly simplistic, but for all the interesting titbits of information it gave, the story didn’t really go anywhere, leaving the viewer with an “and then what?” feeling once it was all over. It works well enough as part of a greater whole, but is fairly lifeless on its own.

.hack//Roots
There is probably nothing more I can say about Roots that I haven’t said already, and so I can only reiterate the feelings of disappointment it brought me. More so than even SIGN, Roots was a hideously slow chat room, this time filled with a huge cast of dislikeable characters, most of whom needed to be arrested by the fashion police on sight. Unlike SIGN, which was actually building up to something, Roots eventually revealed that it had no plot whatsoever; even Ali Project’s turn at the music was disappointingly weak. This series was also the first indication that Bee Train could no longer be bothered with action scenes, instead preferring to cut away to uninteresting rocks whilst the actual fighting occurred off screen.

Avenger

Even though I went through a brief obsession phase with Avenger, the beauty of hindsight has enabled me to see that, in fact, it wasn’t really all that marvellous. The sort of series that takes its entire run just to explain its basic premise, Avenger kept me watching not only through a need to understand just what exactly was going on, but because of its superior character designs and catchy soundtrack (a shame that Ali Project has never equalled their work on this series). I must still count it as a miss, however, since the storytelling was sub par, with an awful ending that left the viewer to find their own answers to the questions raised in the series.

Madlax
Ah, Madlax, what insane impulse convinced me to ever spend good money on you? The spriritual successor Noir, Madlax takes everything that made its predecessor good, and turns it on its head in order to produce something far inferior. Yes, the leads may be less cool and emotionless than those of Noir, but in its place, Madlax has a bloated and insipid cast, not to mention a story that is mired in pointlessly complex and mostly ridiculous supernatural elements. The character designs and music are good, but the story is far too awful to ever consider it anything more than a miss.

Tsubasa Chronicle Season Two
Season two of Tsubasa marked an unfortunate new direction for the series- one that contained more than its fair share of filler. By this point, not only were Bee Train making a hash of the manga based stories, but they were also coming up with their own ideas, all of which showed a singular lack of imagination (bus world, anyone?). Admittedly, the end of season arc sounds reasonably interesting, and the rumoured lack of third season is a relief, but it’s hard to stick with a series that has three insert songs per episode.

Final Thoughts
Although the sample size is perhaps a little too small to make any extensive conclusions, so far Bee Train seems to be a studio that has been hampered by their limited style. There is no doubt that they know how to pick composers and character designers, but when it comes to telling a story or including some much needed action scenes, the production staff quickly find themselves out of their depth. Perhaps they can prove themselves worthy in the upcoming Murder Princess OVA and El Cazador de Bruja series, but based on their track record, it seems best to keep expectations muted.

I can now exclusively reveal that the reason my blog is so HARD GAY is because I have Lui chained up in my basement.

As the days became depressingly short and winter tightened its grip upon the land, I had the great idea of summarising all the 2006 series I watched in one great ‘Annual Round-Up’; hardly an original idea since everyone likes to do it, but nonetheless a course I became determined to take. Little did I realise that such an innocent decision would lead to a massive fifteen page document that took over a month to compile; in fact, if I had any sense, I would take the lazy route of posting this over several days in order to avoid having to write anything else for a week or so. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, depending on your perspective), I’d rather just include it all in one guide so that I can get on with writing newer and more interesting things to spice up the inevitably dull and grey January.

I shall also take this opportunity to thank necromancer, whose screencaps made many parody posts and Tuesday Rumble sections possible, as well as my blogging ‘sempai’, who can identify himself if he wishes.

For once, red is not for generally poor series, just for the ones I dropped before the end of their run (mostly because they were generally poor). Series in blue are my top picks for the year. Links lead to earlier reviews, rants and parodies of the series in question.

STILL RUNNING FROM 2005
I’m only including series I was still watching in the New Year; several others had long since been dropped by this point.

Ginga Densetsu Weed
A bloodier canine version of a shounen action series, Ginga Densetsu Weed follows the adventures of young dog Weed as he recruits allies to fight evil dog Hougen. It ranges from dull and predictable to laughable and predictable, but the parody potential and novelty of having dogs as the main characters conspired to keep me watching this right through to the end.

Final words: It’s not good to be a generic brown dog; you always get killed.

Jigoku Shoujo
When it first started, Jigoku seemed like a compelling series, the tale of people driven to such extremes that they would accept eternal damnation in order to remove their tormenters. Unfortunately, it all became a little ridiculous and far too repetitive after about four episodes- not only did the basic concept of each episode lose a lot in the execution, but there are only so many times you can watch tales of revenge before getting thoroughly bored.

Final words: Revenge is a dish best served sparingly.

Karin
Karin is a strange series; it’s too tasteless and generic to even be mediocre, but at the same time it feels like it could be good- only I can’t really quantify just what is needed to make it better. The tale of a ‘blood-making’ vampire and her slow romance with a human boy could at least have made for light entertainment, but the inclusion of irritating supporting characters and the gimmick of having blood spurt out of Karin’s nose with alarming regularity are more than a little off-putting.

Final words: No, just no.

Mai-Otome

It’s hard to believe, but there was a time when I thought Mai-Otome was actually going somewhere; an illusion that was soon dispelled as the series moved into its closing episodes. Despite the numerous flaws of this series, it somehow remains memorable, burned into the brain by hype, wasted potential and the presence of fat grey cat Mikoto.

Final words: Fat cats may improve a series, but even their furry bulk cannot compensate for a lack of plot.

Mushishi
Although I took my time starting on Mushishi, I’m glad I finally got around to watching it, since it turned out to be one of the better series of recent times. An absorbing and atmospheric folk tale-eqsue collection of stories featuring the laid-back Ginko and the myriad strange phenomena he encounters, Mushishi is recommended viewing for anyone with even a passing enjoyment of fantasy, drama and slice-of-life.

Final words: If your memory is bad, blame it on the mushi.

Noein
When it first swept onto our screens, Noein seemed to be the sci-fi series that we had all been waiting for- a mixture of complex storyline, grandiose action scenes and alternate worlds that would surely only improve as it went on…or would it? Unfortunately, the studio was so busy spending money on CG house shots that it forgot that the series actually needed a proper plot (not to mention decent animation), and so by the end, Noein became little more than a pretentious but ultimately empty series that never lived up to its early promise.

Final words: The quantum mechanics of Noein is not clever- if you want clever, then come to some theoretical physics lectures.

Rozen Maiden Traumend
Given the excellence of the first series, another season of Rozen Maiden was highly anticipated, but somehow it just couldn’t live up to what had come before. Rearranging and diverging from the manga material led to some continuity issues with the first season, whilst the plot itself had numerous pacing problems. Despite promising that the battle royale Alice Game would be getting underway right from the start, it took nine episodes to get down to business, after which the writers chickened out of going the whole way so that things could be left open for a third season. Even the new characters introduced in this season were less than inspiring, although overall the series was not a bad experience, just one that did not live up to expectations.

Final words: If you thought dolls were scary before, wait until you watch this.

Shakugan no Shana

A tale of swords and sorcery mixed with high school romance and comedy, Shana proved to be a solid enough source of light entertainment, but unfortunately turned out to be lacking beyond that. Disappointing villains and a story that proved to be flawed on close inspection ultimately prevented the Shana from reaching the heights it initially promised- whilst by no means a bad series, it was certainly in need of improvement in key areas.

Final words: urusei, urusei, urusei!

WINTER 2005/6

Ayakashi
A collection of three separate folk tales collected across eleven episodes, Ayakashi promised period horror, but in the end, it brought only contemporary boredom. What would have been perfectly enjoyable as a three episode OVA became drawn out and monotonous in TV series form, so much so that watching it was something of a struggle.

Final words: Rap OPs never work- no really, they don’t.

Binchou-tan
Having convinced myself that Binchou-tan would be sickeningly cute, I avoided watching it for a while, only to predictably regret that when it turned out to be far better than I had imagined. A series that really does embody ‘simple and sweet’ Binchou-tan is a delightful slice-of-life tale that really needs more episodes.

Final words: Unexpectedly worthy.

Ergo Proxy
To be fair, I only watched a single episode of Ergo Proxy, but I never could bring myself to continue with it. Despite the echoes of Texhnolyze, the fact I neither knew nor cared what was going on in the first episode was not much of an incentive to continue- the animation may have been slick, but that could hardly make up for the lack of comprehensibility.

Final words: When people say ‘hard sci-fi’ they must mean pretentious, nonsensical crap.

Fate/Stay Night

Admit it, you want a Caster figure too.

There was a time when Fate seemed filled with potential; yes, it had a spiky-haired hero, but it also had the incredibly worthy Rin, not to mention the prospect of a hard fought battle of wits and strength between legendary heroes and their Masters. Unfortunately, Fate never lived up to its promise, instead turning out to be a combination of insipid characters, flimsy story, and Shirou’s harem exploits.

Final words: I will make ‘True Fate’ one day.

Hanbun no Tsuki ga Noboru Sora
A short and sweet hospital-based tale of drama and romance, HanTsuki was an almost overlooked series that turned out to be a hidden gem. Within its six episodes, the series managed to weave a tale that was bittersweet, heart-warming and entirely worthy.

Final words: Natsumi is evil.

Meine Liebe Wieder
Despite promising something in the way of a plot this time, the second season of Meine Liebe turned out to be an inferior rehash of the first, featuring increased angst, more HARD GAY, additional characters and Beruze’s latest puppet duke attempting to take the throne of Kuchen. It wasn’t bad, but it could have been so much more.

Final words: Ludwig-sama is an A-ranked bishie.

REC
An oddly addictive series about the romance between a voice actress and a salaryman, REC is enjoyable while it lasts, but is over all too quickly. In retrospect, it was perhaps a bit too angst-filled, but it made for an entertaining experience while it lasted.

Final words: Umai-ki!

Shinigami no Ballad

Yet another brief series, this time about a pure white shinigami and the people she meets, SnB was filled with character pieces, but was oddly short on death. Whilst it never really had the impact that it could have done, SnB was an enjoyable series that didn’t overstay its welcome.

Final words: The RPG episode was the best one, but the series overall gains points for the winged talking cat.

Pale Cocoon
Having been told that Pale Cocoon was somewhat incomprehensible, I went into it expecting not to understand anything, only to be pleasantly surprised at how much I could actually grasp (of course, the accompanying pdf file helped). A brief yet worthy glimpse into the far future, Pale Cocoon may be short on explanations, but is nonetheless a worthy snapshot of a distant era.

Final words: Watch it now, it won’t take long.

Hellsing Ultimate
It was the event that all Hellsing fans had been waiting for- a more accurate adaptation of the manga material that would surely blow them all away. Unfortunately, having realised that I really didn’t like Hellsing all that much, this wasn’t something I was inclined to keep following.

Final words: When are we going to get a good vampire show?

SPRING 2006

.hack//Roots
Hard as it is to believe now, I was actually looking forward to .hack//Roots- I was in the middle of my Item Completion obsession phase, and somehow I convinced myself that it would be a series that married the addictive qualities of SIGN with the action and faster pace of Legend of the Twilight. After several episodes of deluding myself, however, I came to realise that Roots was not so much a case of a train wreck as of the train simply not leaving the station in the first place. Characters came and went, but the plot never arrived- in the end, it was just too boring for me to watch anymore.

Final words: The origin of the screencap parody format.

Ah! My Goddess: Sorezore no Tsubasa
I’ve said it on more than one occasion, but a second season was just too much for the Ah! My Goddess- how much can you actually squeeze out of a harem story about a regular guy living with goddesses? Admittedly, it did seem like a bit of harmless light entertainment for the first few episodes, but it soon fell into the realms of the utterly boring, especially when Peorth arrived.

Final words: Sometimes, less is more.

Air Gear
I have to admit that Oh Great’s artwork is good, but since I’m not particularly interested in nipple shots, ridiculously oversized breasts or Bob Makihara’s penis, the actual content of his manga does very little for me. An unholy fusion of Tenjho Tenge, Ikki Tousen, Beyblade and Shaman King, Air Gear is the tale of spiky-haired Ikki, his buxom companions, and the rollerblading sport of Air Trak- or to put it more succinctly, it’s complete dross. No matter how much curiosity compels you to watch this, take my advice and give it a wide berth.

Final words: With breasts like that, those girls must get backache.

Aria the Natural

The first season of Aria was excellent, but Natural goes one better by doubling the episode count and giving us a full 26 episodes of sweet and heart-warming gondola life on the planet of Aqua. From the beautiful setting to eponymous fat cat President Aria, everything about the series is right on the money in terms of creating a simple yet absorbing world. Bring on season three.

Final words: Punyu!

Disgaea
Since RPG-based series are rarely worth watching, I wasn’t really planning to investigate Disgaea- at least until I watched the trailer. An ironically hilarious take on the RPG world, Disgaea’s trailer promised much, but the actual series itself delivered all too little. As it turned out, the reason the trailer was so good was because the entire series budget had been spent on it- meaning that the episodes themselves were poorly animated cyclical repeats of the same tired and worn jokes.

Final words: Pizza in the face? Excuse me while I try to force a laugh…oh wait, I can’t.

Full Metal Panic: The Second Raid Tessa OVA
Much as I like Tessa, this OVA didn’t really do much for me; aside from a select handful which hit the mark, most of the jokes fell completely flat. It’s something you watch for completion rather than enjoyment.

Final words: Dull, dull, dull.

The Gargoyle of the Yoshinagas
The tale of the Yoshinaga family’s animated stone guardian, Gargoyle may seem like a kid’s show at first glance, but it is nonetheless a highly entertaining story. In Gargoyle’s hands, everything from battles between stone monsters to talking to flowers takes on a new vitality. It’s funny, off-kilter, and eminently worthy.

Final words: All hail Gar-san.

Gintama
I only watched the first twenty-five minutes of Gintama, but what I saw didn’t really click with me. Apparently it’s meant to be a tongue-in-cheek approach to Shounen Jump, but I just couldn’t force myself to pay attention to it.

Final words: I liked that large white animal, but nothing else drew me in.

Good Witch of the West – Astraea Testament
When it first started, Good Witch seemed to be the fantasy series we had all been waiting for; a fairytale of intrigue and romance set in a magical kingdom. Unfortunately, within the space of a few episodes, Good Witch had become so bogged down with different plotlines that it was difficult to tell where it was supposed to be going. After continuing in this manner all the way to the end, Good Witch left viewers with plenty of story threads, but not much in the way of coherence- maybe the manga is better, but I’m not about to risk wasting money on it.

Final thoughts: It’s the sample book of plot directions.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni
It may have started as a tense psychological horror, but after the first few episodes Higurashi’s main draw was its sheer gore factor. A somewhat inconsistent series that mixed moments with greatness with more pedestrian sections, Higurashi may have only covered six of the eight game arcs, but spoilers revealed that the solution to the mystery was too obvious to be satisfying.

Final words: “It wasn’t me, I am not evil or suspicious at all.”

Hime-sama Goyoujin
Truth be told, I shouldn’t really be writing about Hime-sama- I only saw about eight minutes of the first episode, and I had so little clue as to what was going on that I couldn’t bring myself to watch anymore.

Final words: Utterly confusing.

Jyu-oh-sei
One of a rare few series which I picked up months after dropping it, Jyu-oh-sei made good parody material, but had little worth as far as entertainment went. The bulk of the series, which saw cycle-wear model Thor stranded on jungle planet Chimera, was average and predictable, but was nonetheless sheer excellence when compared to the laughably ridiculous ending. A rushed story with a nonsensical ending- if I hadn’t wanted to parody it, I would never have watched past episode four.

Final words: If you want to attain at least a shred of credibility, magical DNA is not the way to go.

Kamisama Kazoku

At first glance, Kamisama Kazoku looked to be the spiritual successor of Kamichu- a sweet and simple series about a youthful god. In fact, to borrow a phrase from a lecturer of mine, Kamisama was a very different animal- a series that ranged from juvenile to infantile in its fanservice laden lack of hilarity. After struggling all the way to the third story arc by virtue of the show’s worthiest character- Tenko- I realised that I simply could not take anymore and crumbled a mere four episodes before the end.

Final words: Look, Mama is naked in an apron!

Keroro Gunso: the Movie
Series-based anime movies are as formulaic as they come, and unfortunately the Keroro movie is no exception. There are a few entertaining moments, but not really enough to justify spending an hour of your life watching a story that has been done a thousand times before.

Final words: Giant Keroro is the worthiest aspect of this movie.

Kiba
Like Tokyo Underground, Kiba is one of those series that just seems like an inferior amalgam of numerous other series- there’s industrial word, pastoral world, summoning of destined monsters, and numerous other ideas that have been done better many times before. Roia was truly the only worthy aspect of this seemingly never-ending series- in fact, is anyone even watching it anymore?

Final words: Series and games ripped off by Kiba include Tokyo Underground, Ergo Proxy, .hack, Yu-Gi-Oh!, YuYu Hakusho, Dragonball Z, Pokemon, Hunter X Hunter Greed Island OVA, Mai-HiME, Dynasty Warriors and Suikoden.

Love GetChu!
Due to slow subbing, I have only watched four episodes of this series so far, but it has already proven itself a worthy source of light entertainment. The tale of a group of young girls trying to become voice actors, Love GetChu! does exactly what Kiba failed to achieve- it takes ideas used in earlier series, and combines them into a worthy whole. There’s a ditzy lead, standard personalities, a Maison Ikkoku style apartment and a hint of romance, but somehow it all comes together to make something enjoyable rather than tiresome.

Final words: Please sub more, or I’ll have to start on the raws.

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
Once an obscure series of novels, Haruhi catapulted to fame after its first episode captured the fandom, but as the series progressed, opinions became divided. Although there now exists a small but vocal “yay Haruhi great lol” group, still others (myself included) concluded the series with a more sceptical view on the whole franchise. The characters were insipid, the stories were disappointing and not at all helped by being aired in a random, non-chronological order, and the humour had all but dried up after episode three. It may have gained cult status, but I can’t help wondering why.

Final words: I did actually like the fourth novel.

Nana
The tale of two very different girls both named Nana, Nana was an interesting shoujo drama in manga form, but unfortunately the transition to anime turned it into something far more dull and boring. With the bulk of the series’ focus falling on ‘Hachi’, the less interesting of the two Nanas, Nana failed to engage the attention, and was eventually indefinitely put to one side.

Final words: Less Hachi, more Nana.

Ouran High School Host Club

The delightfully over the top story of one poor girl and six rich guys running a host club at the prestigious Ouran High School, Ouran delivered standard jokes with such infectious enthusiasm that it was impossible not to laugh at them. A fewer weaker instalments and too many episodes focusing on twin brothers Hikaru and Kaoru prevent this from being a pick of the year, but it is certainly worth watching.

Final words: Kyouya is god.

Ray the Animation

Ray is another series I dropped after a single episode, but unfortunately it didn’t really seem to merit any more. As someone with various family members in the medical field, ridiculous conditions like tumours that retreat into the heart when operated on are a bit too much to swallow, and thus this medical-themed series was not fated to last long.

Final words: Monster remains the only decent medicine-related anime.

Saiunkoku Monogatari

At first glance, SaiMono looked to be yet another period series featuring a girl and her attendant bishies, but how wrong I was. SaiMono is leagues beyond the likes of Fushigi Yuugi in terms of quality- this isn’t a reverse harem romance, it is an absorbing tale of political intrigue in the fictional country of Saiunkoku, blended with the the story of Kou Shuurei, a young woman dedicated to improving her country through breaking precedent and becoming a government official. Every episode of SaiMono is like an addictive drug, leaving you desperate for your next fix.

Final words: I need more! More, more more!

School Rumble Nigakki
After thoroughly enjoying the first season of School Rumble, I was looking forward to the continued antics of Tenma, Yakumo, Eri and the rest, but unfortunately, Nigakki failed to deliver. With its crazier humour and lack of plot progression, Nigakki soon grew stale, especially when it meandered into the realms of filler during the latter half of the season.

Final words: Please, let it end.

Simoun
I was actually looking forward to Simoun before it aired, but upon actually watching the first episode, all my expectations for the series were shattered. A poor woman’s HARD YURI version of Last Exile, Simoun features ugly snail-like craft that are not only powered by the pilots getting out of the cockpit and kissing whilst in mid-air, but also have special abilities like drawing pretty lines on the sky. With no discernible plot whatsoever, the series had to be dropped.

Final words: HARD YURI power is an eco-friendly solution to dwindling supplies of fossil fuels.

Tsubasa Chronicle season 2
Whatever it was that made Tsubasa season one so enjoyable (and in retrospect, was it really all that enjoyable?) seemed to have vanished by season two, which devolved into a slow and dull mix of lacklustre adaptations and mediocre filler, all animated in Bee Train’s trademark “stills only” style. When each episode started featuring no fewer than three insipid insert songs, it was time to put the series to rest.

Final words: Go, you filler bus! Drive along that road, carrying your passengers!

Utawarerumono

It started as a pastoral fantasy, only to slowly reveal its flaws and turn into a harem series with ill-fitting sci-fi elements, but nonetheless, somehow Utawarerumono merited its own addiction phase. The series itself was lacking, but it led into the game, the mini-game, the parodies, and sparked many ideas simply due to the potential the setting contained. Not a pick of the year, but notable for being integral to the life of this blog- even now “gwakakaka” is still going strong.

Final words: Karura and Touka are all.

xxxHOLiC
I love the darkly stylish xxxHOLiC manga, but when the time came to turn it into an anime, something seemed to go terribly wrong. The high contrast art style became a washed out version of its former self, stories were slow and filled with dull exposition scenes, and the overall result was none too tantalising. I completed the series out of loyalty to the manga, but in retrospect I would have been better off not to do so.

Finally words: This could have been so much better.

Yume Tsukai
At first glance, I thought that the story of three dream masters would be a touching slice of life piece in the vein of Kokoro Library. At second glance, I awoke to the fact that this was not the case; instead, this was a poorly animated and poorly constructed series of tales in which one of the main characters has a fetish for underage girls. Shrine of the Morning Mist simply blows it out of the water.

Final words: It could have been good, but let’s face it, it wasn’t.

Zegapain
Sunrise, when will you learn that churning out endless mecha series doesn’t necessarily mean that any of them will actually be worth watching? Apparently Zegapain improves later on, but the starving man’s Aquarion vibe given off by the first couple of episodes (not to mention the unnecessary nudity) was enough to ensure that I never actually reached those episodes.

Final words: The apples that appeared in episode one were the best characters.

SUMMER 2006

Binbou Shimai Monogatari
The evening before watching the first episode of Binbou, I read sixteen chapters of the manga, almost all of which began with a variation on “Mother died; Father ran up gambling debts and disappeared.” In case you hadn’t guessed, that is the setting for this anime about two sisters living in poverty, which is perhaps the most lifeless and half-hearted slice-of-life series that I’ve encountered. An angst-filled example of how poor the genre can be, Binbou went through the motions, but achieved nothing more.

Final words: I don’t know if you’ve heard this before, but Mother died and Father ran up debts and disappeared.

Bokura ga Ita
One of the first ever series to feature in my Weekly Round-Up, Bokura ga Ita’s tenure in my viewing schedule was nothing if not brief. A poor man’s version of Kare Kano, Bokura ga Ita featured all the angst and drama, but completely neglected the elements that would have made the series enjoyable. After struggling through a dull episode populated by dislikeable leads and a Nagato Yuki clone, I gave up on it.

Final words: Not my cup of angst.

Le Chevalier d’Eon

Despite treading perilously close to the realms of cheese, Chevalier consistently manages to deliver an absorbing historical fantasy despite its lack of much in the way of accuracy. The tale of d’Eon, a French knight who not only gets drawn into a shady underworld of magic and manipulation, but also ends up housing his sister’s soul, Chevalier’s only inconsistency in its animation, which starts well but soon goes downhill.

Chocotto Sister
Haruma has always wanted a little sister, and one Christmas, Santa delivers just that. Choco, as Haruma names her, is entirely devoted to her big brother, but unfortunately she is so completely lacking in life skills that she has to refer to a notebook. This could have been a passable slice-of-life series, but unfortunately it chose the route of excessive fanservice instead- when a series needs to use police tape as a censor, it is never a good sign.

Final words: What, you don’t like naked aprons?

Coyote Ragtime Show
Aside from its infamous turn as the “Great ANN Ad”, Coyote Ragtime Show is a series best forgotten- even the name serves a warning. A tale of MANLY men and gothlolis for every month of the year, Coyote Ragtime Show lacked anything even approximating worth; I went into it with low expectations and was still disappointed.

Final words: ADV licensed this? They think it’s good? Where is Kurau!?

FLAG
Years ago, when my supply of anime was less plentiful, Gasaraki happened to be one of the few series that I had access to. Despite appearing to be quite bland and boring on the surface, I forced myself to keep watching the series until I finally gained something of an appreciation for its intricate politics; with that in mind, I was determined to give FLAG- a similar series from the same creators- a fair chance. Unfortunately, once the novelty of having the story told through monitor stills and the lens of a camera wore off, FLAG proved to be a dull series with bland character designs and ugly mecha. I feel slightly guilty for not giving it as much of a chance as I did for Gasaraki, but then again, there’s more to watch these days.

Final words: Gritty realism with issues relevant to today’s society? Take it back, please, and come up with a phrase that’s less overused.

Hanoka
No matter how poor it was, I was confident I could sit through a series where each episode was only five minutes long, but as Hanoka went out of its way to demonstrate, that wasn’t the case. Animated in Flash, Hanoka looked like an amateur piece, complete with a generic storyline to accompany its unimpressive looks- in the end, it had to go.

Final words: Five minutes of boredom is five minutes too many.

Honey and Clover II
I loved the first season of Honey and Clover, and perhaps it was because of that that I was secretly sceptical about a second season; the last thing I wanted was for my high opinion of the series to be ruined, but unfortunately, that’s just what happened. Although it did indeed have its moments of excellence, H&C II lost points for focusing on minor character Kaoru before turning into some kind of “who gets Hagu?” dating sim (with added “Mayama the stalker”). Yes, I understand the deeper arguments behind the resolution and the characters’ choices, but it was simply handled too flippantly for me to enjoy it.

Final words: One word- disappointing.

Innocent Venus
Innocent Venus may have looked vaguely promising before it aired, but when it turned out to be a poor rehash of ideas from numerous different series (not to mention completely unable to retain the attention), the adventures of Jo, Sana and Jin had to be put aside. Thanks to this series, however, there are various unwelcome images that will forever be burned into my mind- the irritating pirate captain and his busty first mate; the Last Exile psycho killer team; blood pooling out of a man’s smashed faceplate and those ugly, ugly mecha. After the series finished airing, I did consider giving it another chance, but happily I think I’m over that phase.

Final words: I already posted this list way back when I was watching the series, but let’s refresh our memories as to the series IV ripped off- Last Exile, Wolf’s Rain, Kurau, Hunter X Hunter, Burst Angel, Mahou Shoujotai, Arc Twilight of the Spirits, Stand Alone Complex, Gasaraki, .hack//Roots.

Kemonozume
If appreciating Kenozume’s artwork is supposed to indicate some kind of superior taste, then I’m happy to call myself inferior; yes, technically it has its strengths, but on purely visceral grounds, I find it hideous. The tale of a clan of demon hunters, one of whom falls in love with demon, the relationship between Kemonozume and I was destined to be short from the moment they showed a man losing bowel control onscreen.

Final words: Sex and defecation- how mature.

Koi Suru Tenshi Angelique
With its nine brightly coloured bishies, Angelique was clearly never going to be marvellous, but I went into believing that it would at least offer up some light entertainment. Unfortunately, what I got was an insipid mess with even less plot than its sister series Haruka 8; unless watching a dull lead wandering around a castle and chatting to bishounen sounds exciting to you, be sure to avoid it.

Final words: It’s like a computer game in which you can’t ever leave the hub world and actually play a level.

Night Head Genesis

Featuring a pair of brothers pursued due to their unique psychic abilities, NHG had the potential to be a chilling and compelling series that would have been the spiritual successor to Kurau, but as it turns out, reality was far less kind. A barely comprehensible string of scenes that seemed to thinly disguise a HARD GAY propaganda piece, NHG become downright painful by its fourth episode, and was thus swiftly removed from the viewing schedule.

Final words: Give me Kurau and Christmas any day.

Otogi-jushi Akazukin TV
It was always abundantly clearer that Akazukin was aimed at a younger audience, but in the early days it nonetheless exuded a simplistic charm that was enough to keep it watchable. Unfortunately, as the series progressed with no hint of a plot outside of our fairytale-based heroes fighting magical monsters of the week, it all started becoming a little tedious. I haven’t actually dropped it yet, but I’m only a hair’s breadth away from doing so.

Final words: I hate those damned Sweet Phones.

Tsuyokiss
Tsuyokiss was one of those series I watched just because the name got stuck in my head after the “Great Tsundere Debate of 2006”. Unfortunately, after assembling a cast that was generic beyond belief, and throwing in some awful scenes about a drama club, it managed to drop into the red after just one episode. I had originally intended to watch a little more of the series, but when the subs dried up, so did what little enthusiasm I had for the series.

Final words: It may be Cool X Sweet, but it tastes more like Generic X Dull to me.

Welcome to the NHK
Just prior to watching the first episode of NHK, I finally started on the manga, and was instantly amused at its bleak comedy. As I well knew, however, Gonzo are not the best at adapting manga series into animated form, and indeed, no amount of optimism could disguise the fact that they messed up with NHK, somehow sucking out all the humour and turning it into a bland romance instead. Apparently the series improves in its second half, but I really didn’t have the will to keep watching past episode eleven.

Final words: Damn you, Gonzo, for messing up ultimate moe!

Zero no Tsukaima
Although the novels are quite entertaining, Zero no Tsukaima takes what could have been an interesting (dare I say Harry Potter-esque?) story about an Earth boy interacting with the students of a magical school and turns it into insipid, fanservice-ridden fluff. This was yet another series that I briefly toyed with picking up again, but when every cell in my body rebelled against it, I was forced to abandon that plan.

Final words: Guiche is no Tamaki.

AUTUMN 2006

Asatte no Houkou

Despite the fact that I have yet to watch the ending (which sounds quite bland from what I’ve read), I’ve tentatively given Asatte ‘Pick of the Year’ status for the ease in which it drew me into its world. It does have its flaws, but the series certainly deserves points for taking the age-old idea of having a child suddenly become an adult (and vice versa) and turning it into a compelling drama instead of playing it just for laughs.

Final words: The manga just sounds scary.

Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto
The final title to earn ‘Pick of the Year’ status, Bakumatsu was not a series I could easily get into; trying to penetrate just exactly what was going in the first few episodes was pretty much beyond me. Over time, however, it began to exert an irresistible lure; from the beautiful OP and general atmosphere to the refreshing novelty of a series set in period Japan that isn’t an action or Shounen Jump title, there is much of worth here.

Final words: Like Chevalier, it takes the cheesy and transforms it into the highly worthy.

Bartender
When I first heard of a series about a bartender who helps his customers by finding their ‘destined drink’, I knew I had to watch it for the novelty alone- and I was secretly hoping that it was one of those series that sounded laughable but actually turned out to be worthy. As it turned out, Bartender was the kind of series that leads only to boredom, fidgeting and irritation- especially when you try to swallow the fact that a mere glass of a particular cocktail can radically change someone’s entire life.

Final words: I don’t even like alcohol, so I should have known I wouldn’t like this series.

Black Blood Brothers
“Oh dear” is all that can be said to the prospect of yet another series featuring a moody bishounen vampire and his unhelpful sidekicks fighting against generic evil vampires, and indeed, BBB had nothing to bring to an overworked franchise. By the third episode, it proved entirely impossible to concentrate on what was going on, and so the series had to be abandoned.

Final words: I played Go through much of episode three.

Busou Renkin

Upon learning that Busou Renkin was from the same creator as Kenshin, I was actually looking forward to it- little did I know that where Kenshin was solid and sound, BR was the dumping ground for all the mangaka’s strange and twisted ideas. A standard shounen series filled with everything from the terrifying (Papillon’s thong) to the bizarre (Moon Face), Busou Renkin is far from great, but I watch it partially for Tokiko and mostly for my parodies.

Final words: I pinned all my hopes on Moon Face, but his special technique is a big disappointment.

Code Geass- Lelouch of the Rebellion
The latest stage in the search for that elusive good mecha series, Code Geass turned out to be yet another product from the dango-addled minds at Sunrise. Despite boasting CLAMP character designs, Geass proved to be little more than Gundam Seed Destiny Remix, complete with Kira, Athrun, Lacus, Flay, Lunamaria and more (not to mention added rip-offs from various other sources). Had I known from the start that it was going to be fifty episodes, I wouldn’t have struggled with it for as long as I did.

Final words: How many times am I going to have to say that the cat was the best part of a particular series?

La Corda d’Oro

Despite my bad experiences with fellow Neoromance series Haruka and Angelique, Corda’s focus on music made it seem worthy and so it was duly tried. Despite the extreme predictability and the fact that giving the lead a magical violin amounts to little more than cheating, Corda is an enjoyable series which mixes brightly coloured bishies with an actual plot.

Final words: Behind every good natured lead are multiple bishounen backing her up.

D. Gray-man
Although there was a brief period in which D.Gray-man looked like it might be the one shounen action series I followed this season, this poor man’s FMA blew it early by killing off its most interesting character (unsurprisingly, a fat cat which I have named “Big Boss”). The series never really recovered from this loss, and by the third episode, it was clearly time to put it aside and focus on shounen series which could at least be parodied.

Final words: Why is it called D.Gray-man anyway?

Death Note
Despite my quibbles with the second half of the series, I did enjoy the Death Note manga, and therefore it might seem quite odd that I always seem so negative towards the anime. Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is that the battle of wits between Light, a student with a notebook that can kill people just by writing their name in it, and L, the detective appointed to stop him, is simply too exposition heavy to succeed in animated form. Excepting those laughably theatrical moments when Light and L seem to phase into a coloured ‘Justice Mode’, Madhouse have done the best job they can with the material, but this is really a series that needed to be told through straight prose, not animation.

Final words: Justice Mode, engage!

Ghost Hunt
In case you hadn’t already guessed, Ghost Hunt is about hunting ghosts…or at least, standing around and arguing over what to do about said ghosts. Featuring the by now familiar ‘eclectic bunch of heroes’, Ghost Hunt seemed to be nothing more than the autumn’s Ayakashi- a series that made mediocre stories even worse by playing them at 1/3 speed.

Final words: Generic by name, generic by nature.

Hataraki Man
When I first read about Hataraki Man, it sounded like it could easily become a pick of the season- what could be more enjoyable than the tale of an overworked journalist? Unfortunately, my hopes for a superior slice-of-life series were instantly shattered by the first episode, which portrayed the main character as just the sort of ‘I need a REAL MAN’ woman that I really dislike, and surrounded her with a group of dull and generic supporting characters. A single episode turned out to be more than enough.

Final words: It’s strikeout time for Moyoco Anno.

Kanon [2006]

Given how much I loved Air, I was expecting Kanon’s ‘sad girls in snow’ to elicit the same feelings of enjoyment, but unfortunately, after the first couple of episodes, it was clear that Kanon just wasn’t in the same lead. With an overly sarcastic lead whose main pastime seemed to be verbally abusing all the girls around him whilst they smiled and asked for more, Kanon proved that its main worth lay in parody.

Final words: Yuuichi is one of the foremost villains of the era.

Mai-Otome Zwei
Like the very dango that Sunrise subsists upon, Mai-Otome may not be good for the health, but an unhealthy fascination draws one back to it. The first episode of this OVA sees an evil Shadow Otome start petrifying and absorbing various main characters, whilst Queen Mashiro and Meister Arika’s bond is tested to the limit in preparation for the angst, forgiveness and destiny phases later on.

Final words: At least we got to see some fat cats.

Maria-sama ga Miteru OVA
I enjoyed the first two seasons of MariMite, but having been expecting this OVA since around March, I had pretty much lost enthusiasm by the time it finally rolled around. Episode one sees Yumi accompany Sachiko to her summer villa, only for her week of HARD YURI to be spoiled by general apathy and evil lesbians. The next episode looks like it will be better, but this one was far too standard to truly entertain.

Final words: Onee-sama!

Negima!?
Although the idea of a ten year old boy teaching a class of thirty-one junior high students was never really one that appealed to me, Negima is one of those big name titles that you have to try just to say you have. With my progress into the manga going slowly and my knowledge of the first anime season basically nonexistent, this new series seemed like an ideal place to start. Unfortunately, our relationship was never destined to be a long one- the animation may have been good, but the story left far too much to be desired. With too many insipid characters and a divergence from the very manga arcs I was interested in, Negima!? had to go.

Final words: That ferret is creepy.

Pumpkin Scissors
Gonzo series must always be watched in case they turn out to be the next Last Exile, but as Pumpkin Scissors demonstrated, most of them have no hope of ever entering the same league as Claus and Lavie’s tale. Another FMA-lite tale, this time with Blonde Heroine 10658 at its head, Pumpkin Scissors failed to inspire to such an extent that it was abandoned after the first episode. It will, however, be making a comeback in parody form.

Final words: The Pumpkin Scissors must cut through the pumpkin-esque layers of corruption like a pair of scissors. I’m not kidding.

Red Garden
Another Gonzo effort, Red Garden is effectively ‘Gantz with girls’, featuring four teenage girls who have been revived after their deaths in order to fight slavering men. Despite being drenched in angst, Red Garden looked to have an interesting mystery at its core, but with each passing revelation the truth behind it all becomes ever more laughable and ridiculous.

Final words: KEITO! KULAIR! ROSU! RACHERU!

Rozen Maiden Ouverture
Great visuals and average story were what I expected from Ouverture, and predictably, that is just what this two-part special delivered. The tale of Shinku first met Suigintou and turned her into the psychotic witch we know and love, any enjoyment Ouverture had to offer was simply overshadowed by the amount of plot holes in the Rozen Maiden story.

Final words: More explanations, less ‘wtf’, please.

Shounen Onmyouji
After a poorly subbed first episode, my time with Shounen Onmyouji seemed destined to be short, but fortunately Yoroshiku saw fight to pick up the series, and it was a given a second chance. As the title indicates, Shounen Onmyouji covers the adventures of youthful onmyouji Masahiro, grandson of Abe no Seimei. Together with his destined powers and sidekick Mokkun, Masahiro set out to battle evil foreign demons from the West, but can he prove himself worthy of being Seimei’s successor? A surprisingly fun series that is, if not gold, at least parody silver.

Final words: Imagine how good it could have been if Bishie-Seimei was the lead, and Guren wore proper clothes.

Tenpou Ibun Ayakashi Ayashi
Yet another in a long line of period series, Ayakashi Ayashi is about…well, I actually can’t recall what it was supposed to be about. The only images burned into my brain are those of a disturbingly HARD GAY male bathhouse scene and a fight between two monsters, one with a head shaped like a wang, and the other which looks like three wangs joined together. With that in mind, is it any wonder I chose not to watch past the first episode?

Final words: I should have known that a series with ‘Ayakashi’ in the title was to be avoided.

Tokimeki Memorial
As the doyen of all dating sims (not to mention the one that gets parodied most often), it seemed only right to watch Tokimeki’s long overdue anime incarnation. After just a single episode, however, all such feelings of duty had long since evaporated in the face of the fact that this series was completely and utterly crazy and random- and not in a good, Pani Poni Dash sense. Apart from the chick in the first episode, there seemed little to recommend this makeshift collection of scenes, and so it was quickly swept under the carpet.

Final words: I think I’ll stick with Ukidoki Memorial.

Yoake Mae Yori Ruriiro Na ~Crescent Love~
If you discount the sex scenes, H-game CGs always look good. Anyone got any from Jingai Makyo?

A series that I wanted to watch purely on the strength of some promo artwork, YoakeNa follows the romance between earth boy Tatsuya and Feena, princess of the Moon. Admittedly, it did start out as light fun, but as the weeks passed both the animation and story quality deteriorated to the point where each episode was more an excuse to take a nap than anything else.

Final words: I dislike the series, but I need that figure.

Looking Ahead to 2007
I had planned to try my hand at the obligatory ‘winter season preview’ post, but when I realised that my three paragraph effort would be a firefly as compared to the moon of Hung’s multi-part season preview posts, I quickly abandoned that idea in favour of putting a few words at the end here.

To be honest, the coming winter season doesn’t really look that exciting- do we really need more episodes of Angelique, FLAG and Kamisama Kazoku, much less a remake of Ikki Tousen? Despite the danger of not enjoying the most hyped series, I can’t help looking forward to trying the Ichigo Mashimaro OVA and ‘Corda but better’ Nodame Cantabile; I’m also slightly curious about Les Miserables, although fifty episodes of that does seem a bit much. The likes of ‘chibi-HiME’ Venus Versus Virus and anything dating sim or virtual girl based will most likely be avoided.

Looking further into the year, we have the disappointing news that Bokurano’s anime adaptation is being handled by ‘let’s mess up the story’ Gonzo, as well as a Spring debut for the third season of Nanoha, now with less loli. And regardless of whatever else there is to watch, there’s always more Otome Zwei and MariMite episodes- what fun…

Join me again on Tuesday for the New Year Rumble.

Fair enough, you say, if the existing material is complete and self-contained, but what about stories without a proper ending? Don’t they deserve some kind of conclusion, be it in OVA or TV series form? This is indeed a valid point, and in fact, several series, such as Fushigi Yuugi and Hunter X Hunter, have successfully continued or concluded with the help of a few extra OVAs. The problems arise, however, when the writers either end up with more episodes than they know what to do with, or don’t have the courage to actually put an end to the series. After all, if a second season can generate some more profits, why not leave the door open for a third? Who needs to worry about quality when you can just squeeze as much from a franchise as possible? And in that case, are the fans equally at fault for continuing to support their favourite shows long after they have ‘jumped the shark’?

Regardless of the reasons behind their existence, the fact often remains that as a viewer, second seasons all too often fail to live up to the standards set by the first- and what better way to quantify this effect than to look at some specific examples? Note that for this article, only direct continuations are considered- alternate universe spin-offs, retellings, or follow-ups based on different characters will be covered in Part Two.

Were these continuations a good thing?
Series in red did not fare so well compared to their respective first seasons. Those in black were able to maintain quality or even improve upon it. Linked titles lead to existing rants and appraisals about the series in question.

Ah! My Goddess Sorezore no Tsubasa
There were only so many times we could hear “Keiichi-kun!”, “Belldandy!” without getting bored of the situation, and where 26 episodes would have been fine, 52 were far, far too many. Four episodes in, the series seemed gently entertaining, but by the tenth, each instalment was nothing more than a 25 minute stretch of tedium and pain.

Aria the Natural
Although it probably wouldn’t be the case in practice, Aria is one of the few series that feels like it could go on forever without losing its charm. Since there are plenty of manga chapters to draw from and no main plot to worry about in the first place, The Natural’s 26 episodes are easily able to stand with the thirteen instalments of the original series.

Full Metal Panic! The Second Raid
(Fumoffu qualifies for Part Two)
Neither FMP nor Second Raid are particularly good, but with its shorter episode count and lack of filler, Second Raid manages to pull ahead of the original by some way.

Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex 2^nd Gig
Although I will no doubt incur the wrath of fanboys for only the 500^th time since I started writing about anime online, I really don’t rate Stand Alone Complex as the ‘best thing ever’ that most people make it out to be. Yes, it has excellent music, and it’s fairly entertaining, but as far as I can see, it isn’t so much clever as ‘lengthy exposition scenes masquerading as something clever’. Nonetheless, 2^nd Gig manages to come in ahead of its predecessor for one simple fact- it actually had some episodes devoted to character development. At last, the likes of Saito and Paz could finally be characters with more depth than “guys who stand in the background and support the main three”, whilst even Motoko and Batou became more interesting personalities.

Honey and Clover II
My feelings on Honey and Clover II should already be well-known, but nonetheless I’ll be reiterating them here. I absolutely loved season one; from start to finish, every episode seemed to be right on the mark as far as quality was concerned. Then along came season two, and everything became a lot more inconsistent; some episodes were undoubtedly good, but others had a meandering focus, unable to settle on which tone or storyline they wanted to adopt. Mayama became a one-dimensional stalker, debating on whether or not it would be better to break into Rika’s locked room, Shuu’s love of Hagu became almost creepy, and minor character Kaoru suddenly surged into the spotlight from out of nowhere.

Keroro Gunso season 2
Admittedly, I have only seen a short way into Keroro season two, but so far, it just doesn’t quite capture the spark that made season one so entertaining. The early episodes of the season clearly suffered through a lack of Giroro and Dororo, but even their return hasn’t brought things up to speed- what once was hilarious is now merely partially amusing.

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha A’s
The first season of Nanoha was so completely and utterly by the book that A’s couldn’t help but improve upon it to some extent. The story may have been only slightly more interesting than the original, but A’s pushed itself forward with new characters and powered up battles to feast the eyes upon. Better still, Nanoha now actually seemed to be contributing to the battles a little more, rather than just standing there and letting Raging Heart do all the work.

Maria-sama ga Miteru ~Spring~
Both seasons of Maria-sama are equally drenched in angst, but ~Spring~ had the advantage of having already introduced the characters and setting. Where the first thirteen episodes had been a bit of a slow burn that took some getting used to, ~Spring~ could just pick up right where they left off, and thus proved a more consistently enjoyable experience.

Meine Liebe Wieder
Meine Liebe will never be renowned for the complexity of its plot, but season one more than compensated for that with some absorbing character studies and intriguing one-off stories. At first glance, Wieder seemed to promise a lot more, such as new characters, shifting relations and even simmering tensions with another country that must inevitably lead to war. Unfortunately, whatever potential Wieder had was lost in the mires of parody as the series itself devolved into character angst, undeveloped additions to the cast, and a main storyline that proved to be a carbon copy of the first season (oh look, Beruze is behind yet another generic duke who wants to overthrow the king! I didn’t see that coming!).

Rozen Maiden Traumend
Like Wieder, Traumend was series that tried to convince us it would be more epic than its first season, and in exactly the same fashion, it failed to deliver. The new characters were dislikeable, the storyline seemed to contradict season one in places, and the promised battle royale not only failed to materialise until the last possible moment, but was given a disappointing ‘let’s leave it open for a third season’ ending.

School Rumble Nigakki
When School Rumble’s second season began with a battle royale style survival game, it immediately became clear that this series would be aiming for ‘wackier’ humour than the last. Nonetheless, if never up to the standard of the first season, for a time, it was a highly enjoyable experience- until slowly, a rot crept in. At first, each three-part episode would have one segment that was a little too nonsensical or pointless to be worthwhile, but over time, such segments became increasingly common. By the latter half of the season, the vast majority of episodes (now with added filler) completely failed to entertain, until finally the whole thing limped home to a sorry ending.

Tsubasa Chronicle season 2
Whilst Tsubasa can hardly be said to be top quality at the best of times, the first season at least had the advantage of drawing from the manga for 25 of its 26 episodes. Unfortunately, everything went horribly wrong in season two, when the anime went too quickly through the Piffle arc and ended up in danger of catching up with the source material. In order to stave off the threat, a series of filler worlds began to appear, each more dull and pointless than the last, filled with generic characters, tedious storylines, and a distinct lack of animation. With a third season still to come, the future does not look bright.

Final Thoughts
Based on this somewhat limited study (unfortunately I can’t include what I haven’t watched), it seems as if second seasons aren’t always bad news after all. Nonetheless, with good series so easily able to be brought low by sub par sequels, and dull shows like Jigoku Shoujo equally likely to be renewed for yet more tedium, it is no wonder that I will always regard news of any follow-up season with apprehension.

Picking up from where episode 12 left off…

King: Dearest Barty!

Barty: Your Highness, how I missed your skills on the giant penis airship, which is probably where I was all this time. Oh, and Gerald, thank you for protecting my beloved students.

Gerald: Any time, Barty dearest.

Beruze: Let’s stop this gay reunion and get on with the final battle.

Dark Messenger starts playing. Barty draws out some papers.

Barty: That’s right- I am in fact a Paper Master, but before I attack you, Beruze, I shall use Dispel to free Isaac from your evilz.

Cut to Isaac and Orphe. Isaac winks to show he is on the side of good again.

Isaac: Is tonight good for you, Orphe?

Orphe: I thought you’d never ask.

King: Everyone, today we save the world from the evilz of women!

Beruze is losing against the power of Barty and GOOD. He resorts to taking Duke Forst hostage.

Beruze: Hahaha, I shall have the last laugh! Now that I’ve taken this unimportant minor character hostage, no one will dare to harm me!

Beruze makes his escape whilst everyone else stands around.

Camus: Mystic Rose Quartz- Materialise!

Lui: Five pillars, let’s go and end this!

Our heroes stride out of the door. Gerald goes to follow them, but Barty stops him.

Barty: Gerald- supporting characters like us cannot help no matter how insanely powerful we are.

Cut to some dark corridor somewhere- Beruze meets up with Bernard.

Bernard: Beruze, listen to me just one last time. I know you always wanted to be gay, but…

Beruze: You never understood my needs!

The five pillars arrive.

Orphe: Beruze, forget about all that trying to kill us and overthrow the king stuff- we’ll forgive you!

Beruze: I cannot, for I am Bernard’s bastard half-brother, and have led a life of bitterness and hatred!

The five pillars take it in turn to step forward. Beruze equips a gun.

Camus: Love and peace.

Ed: My beloved Orphe showed me that you don’t need to be legitimate to be gay!

Lui: I don’t really like or trust you, but this is the last episode so I must say something encouraging.

Naoji: Your feelings and desires can remake the world!

Orphe: Come over to the side of good!

Beruze: Orphe, I always wanted to sleep with you…

A random blue flame of DESTINY appears.

Orphe: I have all the men I need, but Bernard needs you.

Bernard’s eyes beg for forgiveness, but before he turns to his brother, Beruze shoots some conveniently placed boxes of gunpowder. Everything catches alight.

Beruze: Did I mention that pyromania is one of my flaws?

Bernard walks over to his brother and hugs him.

Bernard: Let’s forget about all that and rejoice in our gay, incestuous love.

Beruze: Brother, you’ve never held me so warmly, but I’m just not ready…

Beruze pushes Bernard away and runs through the flames to an uncertain fate.

Cut to ‘some time later’. The five pillars and Isaac stand in front of the burnt out ruins. Nothing is said before we cut to an audience with the king. The five pillars are present.

King: I would like to thank all of you for your efforts this season. This world has women, but you must not fear, I will do everything in my power to keep this country gay. Oh, and by the way, I’d like to introduce you to my most trusted advisor- yes, that’s right, it’s Gerald.

Everyone is shocked.

Gerald: I learned my HARD GAY skills from the King and Barty themselves.

Cut to various scenes showing that all is well; Isaac back in his café, Bernard leaving in a car, Barty in his office with Eilos.

Barty: Eilos, surely you realised you were too ugly to play an important or effective role?

Cut to the greenhouse- the three newbies are helping the five pillars.

Elmunt: Camus, let’s be Flower Otome together.

Lui: Nicholas, it looks like Camus is going to be busy tonight, care to visit my room later?

Nicholas: Of course, Ludwig-sama- my eyes have been opened to the true path of HARD GAY!

And they all lived happily ever after…until next season, if there is one.

Coming soon to late never- Meine Otome
Rosenstolz is an academy that trains men to become Bishotome- HARD GAY bishounen looking to spread their bishie ways across the country. Follow the adventures of the five pillars as they try to combat a wave of heterosexuality and ugly non-bishiness.
Five pillars: Lui, Orphe, Ed, Naoji and Camus (Mystic Rose Quartz)
Harmonium player: Bernard
Slave master: Beruze
Yohko: Gerald
King’s Bishotome: Barty
Minor meisters: Nicholas, Daniel, Elmunt (Dull Brown Rock)

Naoji serves Camus tea.

Naoji: I know I should only do this for Lui, but since he sent me away I haven’t had the chance to wear my butler’s uniform and make tea as often as I’d like.

Cut to Beruze vs. King- dissolve into boss battle with FF8 battle music.

Beruze: I shall fight for a non-bishie world!

King: Kuchen shall ever be a shining example of bishiness for all of Europe!

Cut to Bernard, who is playing the Harmonium, then to Orphe, Ed, Camus and Naoji (four of the five pillars) as they prepare to leave Rosenstolz. Eilos tries to stop them, but Nicholas appears.

Nicholas: Your opponent is me. Materialise!

Elmunt and Daniel arrive to support Nicholas.

Eilos: Daniel, you too?

Daniel: I’m sorry, but you weren’t bishie enough to be my master. Delta attack!

The Pearl and Coral Otome (Rosenstolz students) arrive to help in the fight against Eilos.

Eilos: Does no one support me and my non-bishie ways?

Nicholas: Eilos, surely you can see that it’s important the powers of love and friendship carry the day?

Eilos: Yes, yes, you’re right- five minutes of exposition have opened my eyes after a lifetime of evilz. Go forth, Orphe, and set things right before the end of the season.

Orphe and the others leave and meet up with Lui- the five Pillars are together again!

Lui: Even though I’ve been stuck in seclusion for the last couple of episodes, I know more about what’s going on than the rest of you.

Lui updates the others on the situation before Gerald arrives and they launch their attack on the castle.

Cut to the throne room- Beruze vs the King, round 2, with Chrono Cross boss music.

Duke Forst: Wait a minute, I’m supposed to be the EVILZ leader of the conspiracy, let me have at least two seconds of screentime.

Beruze: Shut up, you’re just a convenience for the plot- everyone knows I’m the real villain!

Gerald and the five Pillars arrive.

Forst: Ludwig! His long bishie hair makes me tremble in fear.

Lui: Your Majesty, we shall use our Otome powers to protect you.

King: Thank you- I can no longer materialise since I slept with Barty too many times.

Battle start- Isaac vs Orphe, with Chrono Cross battle music. Everyone else stands around and does nothing.

Orphe draws sword, Isaac draws gun. Each waits for their ATB to fill before attacking. After round 1, Isaac is kneeling on the ground at the mercy of Orphe’s sword.

Isaac: This is just like the old days- the bondage games we used to play…

Orphe: We can play those games again, Isaac, you just need to come back to the side of good.

Isaac: I’m sorry, but I must protect my child.

Beruze: Isaac, you fool! I was just using my pregnancy to manipulate you- but I’ve already had an abortion!

Isaac gasps. FFX battle system is used to swap out Isaac for Beruze in the enemy party.

Beruze: Now it’s my turn.

The door opens and Headmaster Barty enters! After a nod to his lover, the king, he switches into the active party. Everyone else remains motionless.

Barty: I’m back, and I have levelled up through many months in the penis airship.

Beruze: Excellent- let the final boss battle (phase one) begin.

To be continued.

Coming soon- Gunslinger Wieder
Camus and Leohart are fratello (siblings), but not just in the conventional sense of the word. A terminal patient ‘saved’ by the Kuchen Bishie Welfare Agency, Camus was the recipient of cybernetic implants, along with mental conditioning that erased all memory of his past. Leohart is his handler, the man in charge of overseeing not only his welfare, but the training required to transform him into a top class Flower Otome. Their job is nothing less than to hunt down non-bishies and spread HARD GAYNESS throughout the country.