Backlog catch-up is a myth.

Reviewed this week: Amatsuki 12-13, Antique Bakery 3-4, Blade of the Immortal 2, Chi’s Sweet Home 53-68, Detroit Metal City 1, Eve no Jikan 1, Himawari!! 6, Itazura na Kiss 17, Kaiba 11-12, Koihime Musou 4, Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 12, Otome S.ifr 2, Nabari no Ou 17-18, Natsume Yuujinchou 4-5, Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu 4, Persona Trinity Soul 22-6, Real Drive 13, Ryoko’s Case File 4, Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 4, Soul Eater 16-18, Telepathy Shoujo Ran 6-7, Wagaya no Oinari-sama 14-15, Xam’D 3

…and in manga: .hack//Link 3, Caramel Espresso 1-2, Clannad 6-8, Claymore 82, Elfen Lied 89-101, FMA 85, MariMite 25-7, Minami-ke 34-5, Nodame 121, Rose of Versailles 9-10, Sketchbook 13-16, Slayers Aqualord 1, Slayers Revolution 3, Tsubasa 194, Wagaya no Oinari-sama 1, xxxHOLiC 159-161, Yotsuba&! 55

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

1. Chi’s Sweet Home (1)- Chi plays
2. Kaiba (2) – who am I? <-complete!
3. Hidamari Sketch x365 (3) – 365 times the fun
4. Soul Eater (4) – symmetry
5. Xam’d- Lost Memories (5) – Bones does it again
6. Natsume Yuujinchou (6) – Nyanko-sensei forever!
7. Wagaya no Oinari-sama (7) – hot springs
8. Nabari no Ou (8) – change of side
9. Slayers Revolution (9) – Dragon Slave
10. Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu (14) – maid secrets
11. Persona Trinity Soul (11) – what did it all mean? <- complete!
12. Detroit Metal City (-) – I’m gonna f***ing raep you! <-new!
13. Koihime Musou (10) – Guan Yu has more breasts and less beard
14. Antique Bakery (15) – Young Master!
15. Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (16) – fillerific
16. Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ (12) – open the safe
17. Ryoko’s Case File (18) – superintendant
18. Real Drive (13) – flashback
19. World Destruction (19) – tree
20. Himitsu (21) – faceless
21. Amatsuki (20) – inconclusive <-complete!
22. Allison and Lillia (23) – plane crash is the new train wreck
23. Telepathy Shoujo Ran (17) – and I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!
24. Blade of the Immortal (22) – boring <-dropped!
25. Itazura na Kiss (24) – dislikeable cast
26. Chocolate Underground (25) – chocolate is forbidden

SLOW RANKINGS

1. Tetsuko no Tabi (1)- is this ever going to be subbed?
2. Love GetChu! (2)- light entertainment
3. Gunslinger Girl- Il teatrino (3)- licensed
4. Himawari!! (4) – needs less plot

*COMPLETE* Amatsuki 12-13: At long last, the series so dull and unable to maintain a consistent plotline that I barely knew or cared what was going on has come to an end, although to call something as inconclusive as this an ending is stretching it a bit. In episode twelve, Toki manages to save Imayou from evil somehow and turn her into a cute fox once again, before episode thirteen sees Ginshu call down the Hand of God, everything turns a bit Matrix-esque and then it all ends with the announcement that Toki may have to become the next overseer of this world. I’ll go into more detail in its own specific review, but suffice to say that after a slightly promising start, Amatsuki was barely worth watching. If you haven’t tried it, don’t bother.

Antique Bakery 3-4: Two more episodes in, and the HARD GAY has gone off the scale as Tachibana’s childhood friend Chikage shows up. Chikage holds a candle for “Young Master” Tachibana, but when he takes off his sunglasses, he captures Ono’s heart leading to new extremes of lust, longing and a general HARD GAY atmosphere. At least it’s somewhat amusing.

*DROPPED* Blade of the Immortal 2: It’s been proven that I can sit through near endless amounts of mediocrity, but there inevitably comes a time when one of the worse series just goes a step too far, and this week, Blade of the Immortal has proven too dull to continue with. In this episode, we see a flashback of a generic wronged family, before we return to the present, where the one survivor has grown up and now wants to travel with our lead on the way to revenge. When you put it like that, it sounds fairly inoffensive, but there’s absolutely no reason to care about what’s going. Bee Train has really outdone themselves this time.

Chi’s Sweet Home 53-68: If the rash of average series that has infected us this season can be thought of as a kind of dull gruel, then Chi’s Sweet Home is the delicious chocolate chips in my viewing schedule, renewing my faith in the medium as a whole and refreshing my stamina for everything else. In this batch of episodes, Chi gets a return visit to the vet, plays in a storm, experiences the family getting ill, becomes addicted to snack treats and generally does all sorts of cute cat-like things. The most hilarious moment occurs when Chi gets into a net, secure in the knowledge that no one can catch her- right up until Youhei seals her in.

*NEW* Detroit Metal City 1: Negishi is a mild-mannered young man who came to Tokyo to make it big as a guitar player; but whilst he may play wholesome songs of peace and harmony by day, by night he becomes Krauzer, lead singer for Detroit Metal City, a death metal band who has built their reputation on explicit lyrics. The trouble is, Krauser has a tendency to emerge as and when he will, and as long as that happens, Negishi won’t get any girls. Thus begins a new OVA series based on the manga of the same name, and whilst this is certainly something you won’t want to watch in polite company (or perhaps any company whatsoever), there is something amusing to be found from the mismatch between the two personalities.

*NEW* Eve no Jikan 1: In a world where androids have become integrated into all walks of life (yes, another one), there is only one place where artificial intelligence and humans can be treated on the same level- a small café located in an obscure back street. Just like the café in Mizu no Kotoba (is it meant to be the same place?), humans and androids are treated equally here, as our protagonist discovers when he stumbles on it after checking his android’s movement logs. Although the overall premise may not be particularly original, this is a well animated and reasonably thought provoking piece that immediately stands out from most of the dross we’ve been subjected to lately.

Himawari!! 6: Hayato and the girls have been left alone, but whilst they try to figure out what’s going on, who should show up but Tsubaki- and this time she wants to duel Himawari to see who is worthy of Hayato-dono’s heart. As with the rest of the season, this is a pretty average episode, although at least the infamous birthmark is having some significance this time around.

Itazura na Kiss 17: Another week, another episode of Itazura na Kiss that gives us no reason to do anything but despise all of the characters. Kotoko has finally made it into nursing school (skipping straight to the second year for some reason) but in predictable fashion she is an incompetent klutz that I wouldn’t wish on any patient, whilst her new classmates are all obsessed with Naoki- first trailing him to find out the identity of his wife (since Kotoko gets into a situation where she can’t easily admit it) and the deciding that it will be easy to get Naoki to divorce her and go after them. Well, aside from the fact that he’s a complete and utter bastard, vowing to break up someone’s marriage is a bit much even when viewed in a ‘comedic’ light, whilst the one character who isn’t interested in Naoki seems likely to end up falling for Kotoko. Oh dear, what a tangle.

*COMPLETE* Kaiba 11-12: Episode eleven sees Popo ascend to the world above, but his victory is a pyrrhic one- Cheki, the one who he wanted to see his victory, no longer has any memories of their shared past, whilst a careless mistake sees his mother’s memory chip consigned to oblivion. Not that Popo’s achievements are to be long-lived, given the number of people ready and willing to snatch it all away from him- setting the stage for Kaiba-Warp to meet and battle the fake. Can Neiro and Hyo-Hyo (who contains Neiro’s original memories) help Kaiba-Warp to claim victory and defeat the plant, all without losing himself in the mass of memories he possesses? I can’t say that this series made complete sense to me, but it was still very good, and one of the few select series that deserves watching again.

Koihime Musou 4: When Cao Cao shows up in town, Ma Chao decides to take revenge for the death of her father, and when she lands in prison because of it, Guan Yu must offer her body to the ambitious warlord in return for her friend’s freedom. Although the deed doesn’t actually take place, this episode takes the ecchi levels up several notches (presumably they slept together in the original game) but if you discount those moments, the series is still mildly entertaining if you view it with rose-tinted glasses.

Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 12: Although I have occasionally complained about the family going overboard and ruining everything, what I didn’t count on was an episode in which they all but completely failed to appear. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what we get here, with a filler episode about a random college student who takes in a catgirl. The catgirl is rather cute, but the episode is hardly anything to write home about- unless you want to write home to explain how you just wasted twenty-five minutes of your life.

Mai-Otome 0 S.ifr 2: Since I completely forgot to watch this raw, I ended up catching my first subbed episode of Mai-Otome since the original series, as the prequel tale of Sifr, Bruce and Rena continues. Whilst Schwarz try to convince Sifr that their dodgy haircuts and generic minions are in no way any indication that they are, in fact, evil, Rena has an angst session with a bishie and his brother Reito in the desert, Elliot gets stripped naked for some reason and various other uninteresting things happen. But the true indicator that the franchise has gone downhill is that this episode is completely lacking in fat grey cats, or indeed any cats whatsoever. Bring back the cats!

Nabari no Ou 17-18: Although you wouldn’t expect it of a series purporting to contain ninjas and action, I’ve come to realise that the best way to enjoy Nabari no Ou is to adapt oneself to its tranquil pacing- if you do this, it somehow becomes more enjoyable. Anyway, episode seventeen sees Raimei lead Yukimi to the school in an attempt to keep him away from Thobari and everyone else, but as it turns out, Thobari is there shredding documents anyway. Perhaps it’s just as well, however, as Raimei’s character has degenerated into that of a pathetic female who can’t do anything, much to my disappointment. Then in episode eighteen Yoite enters Angst Mode after learning that he has a month to live, causing him to wander the wintry streets in his pyjamas, coughing up blood. Nice.

Natsume Yuujinchou 4-5: It’s time for Natsume Yuujinchou to show lesser series how it’s done in this double bill of episodes; first up, we have a test of courage that sees Natsume and his friends wander the school at night, only to discover that there may actually be a ghost, followed by an encounter with a none-too-bright demon at the station that leads to Natsume attempting to complete a reconciliation Reiko forgot to do anything about. It may not be mind-blowingly original, but the series has a perfect trump card in the form of Nyanko-sensei, who reveals that he can also transform into an attractive young woman alongside his fat cat and Okami forms.

Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu 4: It’s time for another classic anime storyline this week on Haruka, as our intrepid main characters decide to trail Haruka’s maid in order to discover why she might have a life of her own outside the household. The entire script has basically been lifted out of the annals of anime history, and the fact that it is better than several other things I’ve watched this week is only an indictment on their low quality rather than endorsement of this.

*COMPLETE* Persona Trinity Soul 22-6: Well, the best that I can say about is that at least it’s over, because overall this last batch of episodes was as underwhelming as the rest of the series. Whilst people continue to sink into apathy, switch consciousness and all the rest, several main characters die (I must admit I felt sad for Kanaru, given her true nature) and Shin learns the hideous truth of his past before entering a persona-driven boss battle. Would I have got more out of this series if I’d played the game first? Perhaps, but I’m waiting it for reduce in price before I buy it.

Real Drive 13: Amidst all the boring and monotonous episodes to pass my eyes this week, one stands out above them all, and it is this- Real Drive’s own attempt at something even more fillerific than the average filler episode. In this episode, Haru and Minamo drag us along on their day off, in which they look at pictures and reminisce about Haru’s youth- complete with musical interludes in place of dialogue. In the annals of dull, this episode must surely deserve some sort of prize.

Ryoko’s Case File 4: The affable and none-too-bright Jun’ichiro accompanies Ryoko on another case in this episode (you don’t say!), in which they embark on a dialogue ridden investigation into a company researching the creation of artificial/genetically-engineered/whatever life forms. To cut to the chase, what they produced was a hideous green monster, but the woman who mothered it considers it her son and runs off with it in her arms. It’s a little disturbing, and I almost wish it would go back to the 90s where it belongs.

Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 4: It’s Midorikawa’s turn in the spotlight this episode, as we learn of the predictably troubled past that made him into the moody teen he is- basically, after learning that her husband and son had mage potential, Midorikawa’s mother walked out on them, whilst his classmates rejected him. Now he must learn to face up to his situation, but in a rather unpleasant turn of events, one client wants to recapture the taste of a nostalgic drink- and the mages give her breast milk. Yes, that’s right- rather creepily, a glass full of breast milk appears out of nowhere and the woman drinks it. I guess if you want to get technical then it’s not much different to drinking something that’s come from a cow’s udder, but the thought of it is somehow far, far worse.

This isn’t Bartender, you know.

Soul Eater 16-18: Episode sixteen concludes Kid’s visit to Nidhogg and his duel with both the ship and Ragnarok (ending in an appropriately symmetric situation, of course), before we move onto the realms of complete filler with episode seventeen. Perhaps the worst episode of the series so far, seventeen sees minor character Oxford visit Excalibur and basically listen to him ramble on for twenty-five minutes. Fortunately, eighteen is quick to get things moving again, as Medusa’s plans come to fruition and it is left to the named characters to try to stop her. Hopefully this means plenty of action and lots of ‘coolness’ in the upcoming episodes.

Telepathy Shoujo Ran 6-7: Scooby-Doo meets the 21^st century in this duet of episodes, as our heroes set off to an inn which has been plagued by ghost sightings. Could it be the work of the evil man who wants to buy the inn from the family that manages it? Is water wet? Unfortunately, where episode six can be watched with a sense of smug superiority that you know what will take the protagonists a while to discover, episode seven is entirely dull as they slowly struggle to conclusions you no longer care about. I’m toying with dropping this series.

Wagaya no Oinari-sama 14-15: It’s time for new characters and a new arc as Tohru gets a mysterious girl delivered to him by a large cat- but who is she, and why would the Oni go to such lengths as to capture Kuu-chan just to find out her whereabouts? Naturally, Kuu-chan isn’t without her tricks, even using Mubyou’s voice over a cell phone to break a sealing spell. It’s entertaining stuff, even if the conclusion of episode fifteen indicates that there might be a slightly tedious arc ahead.

World Destruction 4: World Destruction reaches new lows in this episode, as we visit a village where the frogman leader has cut down all of the sakura trees- except for one, which is purported to be cursed. What follows is a lot of running around from our leads in an attempt to maintain the illusion of the curse, resulting in so much mayhem that they really didn’t need to pretend at all. Drum this into your head once and for all- no good can come from RPG-based series.

Xam’d- Lost Memories 3: Akiyuki must adjust to his life on the ship in preparation for his Eureka Seven style adventures to come, but naturally he’s none too pleased to learn that not only is his old life over, but he’s going to have to work for a living from now on. As the obligatory “hero reluctantly settles into his new role” episode, this isn’t the best episode thus far, but I’m optimistic that it will all pay off in the future.

MANGA

.hack//Link 3: Whilst the villain group receives orders via magic CCTV (I wonder if they bought it from Yata and Pai), Tokio is demoted from hero to servant of fellow player Saika and given the mission of tracking down the Chrono Cores before the villains get them. The first Chrono Core is in the hands of familiar face Tsukasa, although given all the revisions of the World, it’s hard to know whether this has a connection to the real Tsukasa or if it’s just a data ghost. And let’s not even get into the use of the age old “collect all the special items before the enemy does” direction that the plot is taking.

*NEW* Caramel Espresso 1-2: Why do all the gay series have misleadingly intriguing names? Anyway, in this rather bizarre excuse for HARD GAY, Sayuu is a coffee shop worker and university student who wakes up one morning to find that he has suddenly become left-handed. Tracing back the origin of the switch to a customer at the café, he becomes acquainted with Aki, a quiet young man who has a HARD GAY dominant alter ego named Ao. Since Ao was produced from suppressing the painful memories of a troubled childhood and a need to hide his HARD GAY from homophobic adults, Aki seems to hope that having a relationship with Sayuu will help him to integrate his alter ego- and even though Sayuu is STRAIGHT, he finds himself oddly attracted to Aki (yeah, like we haven’t seen that happen before). It’s all a bit convoluted, but by the end of chapter two we’re already down to the sausage-fest.

Clannad 6-8: With all the excess of the other girls’ stories clipped out, the Clannad manga is moving at a fast pace down Nagisa’s track- which of course suits me just fine. First up we attend to the restoration of the drama club, which is easily achieved without resorting to baseball matches, before Tomoya’s situation with his father becomes so untenable that he moves in with Nagisa’s family. Yes, it’s familiar ground, but it’s nice to be covering it this quickly.

Claymore 82: Whilst Renee is captured by Riful and persuaded to cooperate with her in exchange for the chance to regenerate her legs, Claire’s team decide to resolve their personal issues in preparation for the final attack on North Crater the Abyssal Ones. For the lesser characters, this means visiting their hometowns, but for Claire, only tracking down Raki will be enough to set aside the last of her doubts. A fated meeting is no doubt in their future, but what will come of it? Let’s hope we don’t have to wait too many months to find out.

Elfen Lied 89-101: A bulk catch-up on Elfen Lied takes us almost to the end of the series, and it’s a far cry from the situation we once knew. Female Researcher has developed a vaccine that could cure the Diclonius virus, but it’s only with considerable outside help that she can get it past all the Diclonii that have broken out of the research facility. Meanwhile, Lucy’s powers have levelled up significantly, but will Kouta accept her, or turn her away for all the lives she’s taken? It’s to see some real plot development- after all, so close to the end, we can’t do without it.

Fullmetal Alchemist 85: The time has come for those who oppose Bradley to make their move, but when terrorists blow up his train, Father himself comes forward out of the shadows to take control. Meanwhile, Ed is reunited with his father, but when Al shows up, something seems amiss. It seems as if the plot isn’t afraid to march forward at this stage, but what will happen next? The anticipation for the next chapter is great.

Maria-sama ga Miteru 25-7: Since the order of arcs was switched round a little, it’s now time for the Rosa Canina arc, as the third years prepare to graduate and Shimako seems reluctant to run against new character Kanina Shizuka in the Yamayurikai elections. Again, it’s enjoyable to revisit this arc in a format where I can take it at my own pace, but with these chapters only covering about half of the story, it would be nice to have the rest to hand even though I know how it will turn out.

Minami-ke 34-5: After the girls try on each other’s uniforms, Kana becomes obsessed with the effect of appearances, even going so far as to borrow Keiko’s glasses in order to become more intellectual. These chapters aren’t the best examples of the series, but they’re entertaining enough.

Nodame Cantabile 121: After a quick catch-up with Streseman in New York (where a little boy wipes dog faeces on him), we return to Paris to see Chiaki, Rui and the orchestra continue their rehearsals and field an interview from Classic Life magazine, whilst in the background, Nodame practises some Debussy. Not a particularly eventful chapter, but one that seems to indicate the manga could go on forever.

Rose of Versailles 9-10: With the passing of Louis XV, Louis XVI takes the throne and Marie Antoinette becomes Queen of France, but hopes of a new age for France are quickly dashed when the beautiful young queen seems more interested in using the country’s finances to order finery for herself than for helping the people. Meanwhile, Jeanne carries out a plan to earn herself her benefactor’s title and money, whilst poor Rosalie hits rock bottom. Of course, we all know how this particular period in history turned out, but you can’t help urging Marie Antoinette to realise the error of her ways before the guillotine starts looming.

Sketchbook 13-16: I can’t express how much better this manga is than the anime as it continues onwards into volume two, complete with fresh humour, more moments of randomness and everything you could want from this sort of light-hearted comedy. There’s only so many different ways I can express these sentiments, but I’ll keep repeating them for as long it takes to complete this series.

*NEW* Slayers- Knight of Aqua Lord 1: Another Slayers series, Knight of Aqua Lord doesn’t fit into either novel or TV series canon as we see Lina and Gourry head off to a cursed island in an attempt to find enough treasure to pay off a gambling debt. Unfortunately, things go a little pear-shaped when the fearless duo is attacked by giant water dragons, with Lina waking up in a strange land where her magic doesn’t work! How will Lina fare without her trusty Fireball and Dragon Slave? Presumably we’ll find out in the next few chapters.

Slayers Revolution 3: Much of this chapter is just a retread of episode five, and since I only wrote about that last week, I won’t bother to recount it here. There are some slight additions, however, at the end, as Xellos and Waiser team up with the goal of arresting Lina (again), and the evil Marquess dispatches a mid-boss type assassin named Zuuma to be inevitably defeated at the hands of our heroes in the near future.

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle 194: If you thought very little had happened in the last few chapters, then even less happens here as Sakura has some sort of premonition of danger and Syaoran decides that he must accompany her during the ceremony- which will be occurring next chapter at the earliest. Could the pace be getting slower than even that of the infamous bus arc?

*NEW* Wagaya no Oinari-sama 1: The first chapter of the Wagaya manga is actually much the same as the first episode (albeit without covering the ending) so thus far there isn’t much to say, except to comment that Kuu-chan’s female form looks younger and cuter than her anime form. Personally, I prefer the sophisticated look of the latter.

xxxHOLiC 159-161: Whilst Watanuki realises that he can live without his memories as long as he’s the main character of the series, the bulk of these chapters seems to be affirming his HARD GAY relationship with Doumeki- with a visit to Early Chapters Fortune Teller and her new apprentice Kohane indicating that they are destined to be together. At the end of 161, however, a new customer comes to the shop- could this be the long-awaited start of a new story?

Yotsuba&! 55: Dad has plans to buy some clothes for the autumn, but Yotsuba being Yotsuba means that they inevitably get sidetracked when she decides that she needs to collect some acorns. Yes, it’s another delightfully whimsical chapter in the life of everyone’s favourite green-haired five-year-old; may it last for a good while yet.

We’ve considered this crossover before, but now is the time for the Mai franchise to take another step towards world domination with Mai-Undine! In Neo Venezia, aspiring Undines must learn to harness their gondola power in order to defend their respective companies from attack. Complete with fat cats, transformation sequences and those infamous gondola battles, Mai-Undine is the one to watch this summer!

Tsubasa Chronicle OVA1

“Well, I’ll break that promise as and when the plot demands.”

“Seeing as you’re so useless when you’re awake and all.”

“Is it a Zhuge Liang?”

“Better get our Swords out just in case.”

“The only thing that’s large and powerful around here is in my trousers.”

“If it’s HARD GAY you’re after, we’re CLAMP bishies, so expect plenty of it.”

“Well, that’s our evening sorted, then.”

“Some people have wanted her to sleep for the whole series.”

“Time for more Sword!”

“To interfere would be to spoil the plot- and anyway Fei Wong is going to kill me off shortly.”

Is this a hint that the Infinity Arc will be animated?

The Jintarou Kyle Show

Kyle: Welcome back to the Jintarou Kyle show! Before the break, we spoke to Tenma and Yakumo, two sisters living on their without their parents. Now we turn to a new family in the same situation- the Minami sisters! Everyone, please welcome Haruka onto the show!

Haruka enters.

Kyle: Your sisters are backstage, Haruka, but before we hear from them, we’d like to talk to you. Is it true that you’ve been put in the position of head of the family, even though you’re still in high school yourself?

Haruka: That’s right. I have to do all the cooking and cleaning for the family- I even gave up a chance to go abroad because I knew I had to stay and look after them.

Kyle: And where do you get your money from?

Haruka: Our parents did leave us some money in the bank, but it’s running low now- if they don’t come back soon, I’ll probably have to start looking for a job.

Kyle: Hasn’t it always been your dream to finish high school and go onto college?

Haruka: Yes…

Haruka starts crying.

Kyle: Now, let’s welcome Kana and Chiaki on the show.

Kana and Chiaki enter.

Kyle: You’ve just heard everything Haruka had to say backstage. What do you think of the situation?

Chiaki: Haruka-neesama, I’ll do everything I can to help you. I don’t want to be a burden. You’ll help too, won’t you, Kana?

Kana: Yeah, maybe.

Chiaki hits Kana.

Chiaki: Idiot!

Kyle: I think the situation in anime Japan is shameful! Parents leaving their children home alone for months and years at a time! But here at the Jintarou Kyle show, we’re here to right all the wrongs of the world, one family at a time! Haruka, we’ll do what we can to track down your parents, and help you realise your dream of going to college.

The audience cheers.

Kyle: Join us next time on the Jintarou Kyle show for “Forced to Pilot a Giant Robot- even though I’m only in junior high!”

This Week in Anime

Will the Harvest Moon nightmare never end?

Melons!

Oranges!

“…No…”

Fat cats on a diet? Has the world gone mad?

Bananas!

Apples evolve to the next level.

Aika is caught staring at Al’s bum.

As the devil’s fruit, it’s no wonder apples can lure people to hell.

Note the apples on the left hand side.

To be fair, I haven’t learned the lambada, but something seems a little wrong here.

Could this be the world’s Zhugest Liang, recreated in bread?

If this doesn’t look dodgy, I don’t know what does.

“He’d give me all types of Pleasure, no matter how kinky.”

“I may prefer peaches, but an apple a day keeps Doctor You away.”

“I’m sick of this all apple diet!”

“Sorry, but there are more apples in the fridge.”

“Who keeps fruit in the fridge?”

Classic PC games: Jazz Jackrabbit

Basically a Sonic clone for PC (complete with 3D bonus levels), Jazz Jackrabbit was a fun platformer that was actually somewhat easier than the game that inspired it. Unlike Sonic, Jazz could take multiple hits and came armed with some of the most powerful weapons a hare has ever wielded, from rapid fire missiles to rubber explosives- all necessary for his multi-planet crusade to defeat the evil turtles and rescue the hare princess.

Unfortunately, like so many games of its era, the shareware first episode was easy and enjoyable, but the levels in the full version were much harder and less satisfying. Even so, I will go back and finish them some day- perhaps.

Mini-editorial: Perfection vs. enjoyment

All anime viewers are searching for that holy grail- the perfect series that can make the likes of Aria and Dennou Coil look merely adequate. Along the way, however, we tend to watch a lot of incidental titles (crap, if you will), and sometimes the question must occur to us- isn’t it okay to watch a poorer series just for the entertainment factor? Must we always be highbrow and only watch those series with true merit, or is it okay to indulge in the guilty pleasure of a poorer series that nonetheless makes us smile? Should we hide the fact that we actually quite liked at least parts of Inukami, Dirty Pair Flash, MagiPoka and so forth? Will it make our anime habit less shameful if we pretend we’re only in it to appreciate high art? Then again, who care what we do with our spare time?

In Your Reflection

Too lazy for pictures; to be edited in later.

It’s time for the first head-to-head in a while, as we compare Slayers’ Amelia with Disgaea’s Flonne. Both operate as part of an eclectic bunch of ‘heroes’, and each has an obsession with justice and righteousness, with specialty skills in white magic.

They said it didn’t need to be done, but it was- a prequel to the greatest trainwreck of all time, Mai-Otome 0. And thus, in true Azure Flame tradition, we could not merely let the situation pass- for where Otome exists, so does parody. So, join us as we delve into the past, to the days of Rena Sayers and the King of Windbloom- to a terrible era devoid of fat grey cats…

The future John Smith (currently known as ‘Kiddo’) plots to kidnap the main character and take her place.

“Sorry, but I indulged in a spicy curry on the way here.”

“Never, ever mess with a woman in a maid costume!”

“Give her back! I must become the main character!”

“No way! Even Sunrise won’t give in to your demands!”

Bruce decides to indulge in a spot of power-throwing.

When your Master is a nun, you have to wear the Robe for the part.

“Look, I can fly!”

“…sorry, I was cheating- I had an invisible Otome catch me.”

Go forth, new characters!

Now for a history lesson. Pay attention everyone, as we go back to days when generics rose up and threatened us all.

In desperation, the people turned to HARD YURI.

In this way, maid power was released and Otome were born.

Here’s some gratuitous Otome-service that has no real connection to anything.

Now back to business- let’s properly meet the lead, Sifr Flan.

Already she has the obligatory tragic past, with a deceased mother.

Here we see her being auditioned for the role of main character.

“Hello, I’m Rena and despite the earring, maid costume and back story revealed in the original series, I am most certainly not an Otome.”

“We’re actually from Mai-HiME Destiny, but they let us have cameos anyway.”

Another new character arrives for some screen time.

“Rena, we must have HARD YURI at once or the fans will get upset!”

“Ladies, if you wish to do that sort of thing, might I suggest you retire to the bedroom?”

“Can you help us? We’re looking for screen time.”

Gone are the fat grey cats- in their place we have a thin one called Nina.

Could it be that Sifr was inspired to name her daughter Nina after rescuing this cat?

Falling from any height is rarely an issue in Mai-Otome.

At last, the cat is safe again- but for how long?

After DVD special 4, it’s best not to even speculate what the creators were thinking at this point.

When in doubt, there’s always fanservice.

An action scene at Garderobe? This is so rare that I must record it!

In the background we have what appears to be a young Miss Maria.

“I really wish I had bought more furnishings for this office.”

“Oh well, I’ll just have to make do with some phone yuri.”

“Phone yuri with the headmistress is always so tiring.”

“I don’t care what they say- it isn’t as good as the real thing.”

“Wait a minute- how did I suddenly end up on Strictly Come Dancing?”

“Would you care for a foxtrot?”

“Wait a minute- that isn’t Bruce Forsyth!”

“Never fear, my tiny pistol shall protect us against this immense monster!”

“I think you’d better let us handle it- activate special Jewellery Channel earrings!”

But which is better? Ugly monsters…

…or Otome? There’s only one way to find out-

FIGHT!!

Oh, sorry, when I said fight what I actually meant was ‘run away’.

“Named characters, feel the wrath of the oppressed generics!”

“Oh by the way, you know when I said I wasn’t an Otome, what I meant was that I actually am an Otome.”

“Sorry, I don’t have the Blue Sky Sapphire yet- oops, you’re not supposed to know about that.”

“Damn you, I hate named characters!”

“I told you we shouldn’t have bought our weapons from the discount store- look what’s happened to them!”

“Take a look at this, John Smith! This is the power of the named character!”

“NOOO!!! What is the obsession with tentacles in this show?”

This man is the John Smith of the era, and subtle hints lead me to believe he may be evil.

No Oto-HiME era would be complete without an artificial life-form, so meet M-9.

“Charging- R-Blade!”

“That move is so 2005!”

“Now, talk to the hand!”

“KAMEHAMEHA!”

“Now who’s being old-fashioned?”

“Flare Arrow!”

“For the sake of everyone I must kill Sifr and prevent Nina from ever existing!”

Don’t you just hate it when you get a power over-lod?

“We’ve done Xenosaga, Dragonball Z and Slayers- now let’s go for the Ikkitousen look!”

“Hey, is it okay if I stop standing around and actually participate in this battle?”

“Tremble in fear at the playing of my invisible piano!”

“Looks like it’s time for ridiculously huge weapons!”

Now to end with a gratuitous character shot.

Next time: Hime and Otome- why am I not enthused at the prospect?

Reviewed this week: Aria 7, Clannad 18, Kaiji 19, Mai-Otome 0 S.ifr 1, Minami-ke Okawari 7, SaiMono II 36, Shigofumi 6-7, Shion no Ou 16, Shounen Onmyouji 20, Sketchbook 13, Sisters of Wellber 11, Zoku SZS 4

…and in manga: Doujin Work 1-19, Minami-ke 1-21

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

1. Aria the Origination (1) – the Single life
2. Spice and Wolf (2) – wolf in the sewers
3. Kaiji (5) – ざわ, ざわ…
4. SaiMono II (4) – Ran clan
5. Shigofumi (3) – Schrödinger the cat
6. Zoku Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei (6) – mind-altering drug
7. Persona Trinity Soul (8)- Mushi-Uta’s successor
8. Shion no Ou (12) – die, Satoru!
9. Minami-ke Okawari (7)- not quite the same
10. Gunslinger Girl- Il teatrino (10)- Marco
11. Clannad (11) – drop kick
12. Mokke (13)- rainy season

SLOW RANKINGS

1. Sketchbook ~full color’S~ (1) – lots of cats <- complete!
2. Tetsuko no Tabi (2)- is this ever going to be subbed?
3. Sisters of Wellber (3) – predictable but fun
4. Himawari!! (4) – needs less plot
5. Shounen Onmyouji (5)- mediocre
6. Love GetChu! (6)- light entertainment

Aria the Origination 7: If you’ve ever wondered about the humble beginnings of the mighty President Aria, then this is the episode for you. Before he built up his multi-million pound empire he was just a naked cat looking out to sea- until the fateful day he met with a young Himeya undine known as Akino (known to us as Grandma). Alongside this flashback, we also meet Alicia’s senpai Anna, who worked for Aria Company until she got married and had a child, and just like Akari, I can’t help realising how much there is I still don’t know about Neo Venezia, and how much I just want to stay there forever. In some ways, this is my favourite season of all, and I shall unashamedly bask in fangirlish emotion about it.

Clannad 18: It only just began, but Tomoyo’s arc is wrapped up in this episode, whilst Ryou gets “friends” compatibility with Tomoya and even Kyou bursts into tears. I can’t help feeling it was a bit pointless setting everything up with an air of importance in the last episode just to arbitrarily wrap it all up here, whilst the baseball challenge felt like the biggest plot cop-out ever. How are we supposed to care about these generic, overly fast-paced events?

Kaiji 19: There are four rounds left, and three more millimetres for Kaiji to wager; if he wants to keep his eardrum, he’ll have to win at least once, but how can he beat the ‘invincible’ Tonegawa? Fortunately, all is not as it seems, and even though the explanation behind what’s going on seems a touch farfetched, who can’t love the prospect of Kaiji making a comeback? And even though the preview shows the side of his face bleeding, we can assume that’s deliberate misdirection.

“With it, he could tell the time!”

*NEW* Mai-Otome 0 S.ifr 1: I don’t know why, but I’m feeling benevolent towards Mai-Otome at the moment, and so despite this new OVA’s lack of fat cats or any real story, it somehow didn’t seem as bad as the forgettable Zwei. A prequel to all previous Otome stories, S.ifr focuses on a new set of characters, including the titular Sifr/Sifuru, various Otome, King Bruce of Windbloom and a young Rena. For antagonists, we have the younger John Smith and his Schwarz allies up to their usual tricks, plus a brand new android for our heroines to fight. I can’t say it’s good, but it’s still the best thing the franchise has offered in a while.

Minami-ke Okawari 7: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and so our named characters all decide to get together at the Minami house and make chocolate. Again, this is a rather standard piece in the grand scheme of episodes, making it mildly entertaining in the way of most episodes this season- although the sight of Mako-chan in a maid costume cannot be missed.

Saiunkoku Monogatari II 36: Three episodes before the series ends for good, and sadly we are unfortunate enough to be landed with the season’s third recap episode. Worse yet, this is a recap that goes right back to the first season, covering Ryuuki’s experiences of being Emperor ever since we first met him. Yes, there are some cute pandas for him to talk to, but come on, let’s end the series on a bang rather than a whimper.

Shigofumi 6-7: Episode six seemed to promise a return to form for Shigofumi, with a story about bullying and abuse that is actually quite difficult to watch (although that may be because of my feelings on the subject). Unfortunately, whilst episode seven promises further unravelling of Mikawa’s past, it is let down by her over-the-top father, a character obsessed with beauty and perfection. I must admit to feeling for his newly-appointed editor, however, simply because her bosses think she’s useless.

Wait, didn’t we have this game in Kaiji?

Shion no Ou 16: Ayumi’s mother has died, and with her passing there is no further need from him to cross-dress, but will he still keep up the shougi? I’ve been wanting Ayumi to come clean for a while now, and so a change that will let him play honestly is most welcome, even though he looked good as a trap.

Shounen Onmyouji 20: I’ve finally managed to fit in another episode of this series, and it must be said that it was as underwhelming as ever. This time around, we learn that the main villain has an entirely predictable past connection with Seimei, but that skeletons in the old family closet mean that he has, of course, turned mindlessly evil. Now to resolve the confrontation with him in the next six episodes.

*COMPLETE* Sketchbook ~full color’S~ 13: Sketchbook has finally come to an end, with a reflective episode in which Sora spends an afternoon alone in the afternoon, painting her friends whilst they pass through. I know I have accused the series of trying too hard throughout its run, but nonetheless this was a worthy conclusion to the series, with Sora finding the strength to grow a notch or two at the end. I guess I wouldn’t be averse to a second season after all, especially if it has cats.

Wellber no Monogatari ~Sisters of Wellber~ 11: Months after my last Wellber experience, we come to this episode, which tells the past story of Galahad and Jamille in what is probably meant to be a touching build-up to their inevitable confrontation in a duel. What a shame, then, that it is all so predictable and on the rails that no one could really care- all I can say is that it’s a good way to waste an episode.

Zoku Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei 4: There seems to have been an element of randomness missing from my week of late, but luckily it’s back for the moment, with another instalment in the crazy life of one Itoshiki Nozomu and his off-kilter class. This time around we meet a couple more new characters (including one who can read anything- even hearts) and learn what happens when you diverge from the main point. There are no laugh out loud moments this time, but there is consistent entertainment, and that will do for me.

MANGA

*CATCH-UP* Doujin Work 1-19: My experience with 4-koma has been a bit hit-and-miss so far, but happily Doujin Work is proving to be one of the better ones of the bunch. Although it takes much the same overall course as the anime, some of the specifics are different, with the overall effect being to replicate the feeling of light entertainment without seeming stale.

*CATCH-UP* Minami-ke 1-21: Whilst not a 4Koma, Minami-ke does go for the short chapter approach that many comedy series use, and this time it is just like the anime- or at least season one of the anime. So far, then, it is proving to be just as entertaining, but many more chapters will be needed.

It’s been a year of ups and downs, of anime gems and utter disappointments- a year when I’ve alternated between craving more and feeling utterly fed up with the continuing deluge of episodes that take no account of the fact that people might have other things to do than stay in and watch all day. Nonetheless, in true years-end tradition, we must review all the new series in an Annual Round-Up, a project which I meant to periodically update through the year but ended up writing at the last minute again.

As always, red titles are those which were dropped, and blues are the picks of the year. Come back on Tuesday for the New Year Rumble, in which we take a look at the year in the life of Azure Flame.

STILL RUNNING FROM 2006

Asatte no Houkou

The beginning of the year saw the end of Asatte no Houkou, a series that had started as a strong character drama and slice-of-life piece, but lost it somewhere with its slow pacing and plot contrivances. Ultimately, the series was a ‘curate’s egg’, good in parts but sorely lacking in others.
Final words: The series may have been called ‘The Direction of the Day After Tomorrow’, but sadly the plot sometimes lacked direction.

Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto

Last year, I labelled the emerging Iroha as a tentative pick of the year, but in retrospect, it was more silver than the gold tier it seemed at first. Despite remaining generally enjoyable throughout, the series got mired in a repetitive storyline, numerous historical cameos and an ending that defied sense and explanation.
Final words: Good for those who like action or historical series, but sadly not worthy of entering the hall of classics.

Busou Renkin

Ah, Busou Renkin, a series replete with cheesiness, ridiculous special abilities and Shounen Jump clichés- on the surface of it, hardly something worth writing home about, and yet an important series in its own right. A prime parody candidate, every week of Busou Renkin brought more hilarity than the creators had ever meant to include as Kazuki found himself torn between the worlds of HARD GAY, STRAIGHT and BI.
Final words: I wouldn’t actually watch the series ever again, but parodying it was a lot of fun- blogging hasn’t been the same since.

Le Chevalier d’Eon

At the end of last year, Chevalier was going strong, and it lost very little of its appeal as it moved into its closing episodes. Yes, the ending didn’t make a great deal of sense on close inspection, but with strong characters, worthy action scenes and an unfaltering sense of historical atmosphere, Chevalier remained enjoyable throughout.
Final words: Good enough to parody twice.

La Corda d’Oro

Last year, I had an optimistic view of Corda; this time around, the tale of a Neoromance reverse harem would surely have decent characters and some kind of a plot- or so I thought. Unfortunately, it was not to be- whilst our lead cheated her way through the music competition with a magical violin, the shallow supporting characters and slow pacing did nothing to disguise the general lack of substance.
Final words: Another game adaptation hardly worth writing home about.

Death Note

I enjoyed the Death Note manga, but in anime form, it wasn’t a series that could work for me- the long exposition scenes never seemed suited for an animated format, and attempts to bring the story to life only made Light seem overly theatrical under his red spotlight. After many episodes of thinking “well, the next arc will be better”, I decided to terminate my relationship with the series.
Final words: It didn’t flourish in animated format.

Kanon

As we must all know by now, after the first few episodes, Kanon failed to do much for me- Yuuichi was always too sarcastic and cruel to the girls, who were in turn too one-dimensional to do anything about it. Despite the series’ attempts to tug at the heartstrings, overall it failed to ignite for me, ending up as only another excuse for parody.
Final words: Sad girls in snow don’t make me cry.

Mai-Otome Zwei

Most trainwrecks have the grace to stop and let the rescue crew hunt for survivors, but not Mai-Otome- it just keeps rumbling on. Aside from one or two good action scenes, this whole OVA proved to be a waste of time, introducing a pointless enemy and filling every spare moment with character cameos and fanservice. There was no real reason to expect anything else, but why do I keep getting sucked into this franchise?
Final words: Why do I already know I’ll be watching the next sub-par Otome OVA?

Red Garden

Despite attempts to make its mark with a distinctive art style and a New York setting, Red Garden managed to utterly fail at either the horror or character drama it was presumably aiming for. With four angsty leads who spent most of their time whining or crying and a mystery that dragged on into a totally ridiculous conclusion, Red Garden was a largely dull experience that never rewarded the patience of those who dared to persevere with it.
Final words: Don’t bother with it. Really. It doesn’t get better later on.

Saiunkoku Monogatari

On the strength of its first season, SaiMono established itself as one of my favourites; far from the reverse harem series it first appeared, it actually proved to be an absorbing tale of intrigue, politics and character interaction as one woman chased her dream of becoming her country’s first female official. Of course, the attractive character designs don’t hurt, but to consider this series shallow just because of that would be to do it a great disservice.
Final words: I don’t see why anyone reading this blog wouldn’t have watched SaiMono yet, but if you haven’t, get to it now.

Shounen Onmyouji

A fairly generic tale of a young onymouji being sent to fight the strongest demons just because he happens to be the main character, Shounen Onmyouji was often pointless and rarely very good, but somehow managed to retain interest by having twelve spirit summons who were gradually introduced over the course of the series- and with many of them having little more than a basic appearance, the series even seemed to demand a second season in which to adapt more of the novels.
Final words: Large casts usually work against a series, but in this case it was a draw for an otherwise average series.

WINTER 2006/7
Winter is traditionally a slow month for anime, but could the fledgling 2007 break the curse of the cold months? Sadly, with only a couple of worthy series that were worth following to the end, it seemed that it could not.

Deltora Quest
Despite numerous failures, I’ve always kept my eye out for decent fantasy series, but sadly, Deltora Quest was not one of them. Despite being so packed with cliché and unintentional hilarity that it could have made a good parody candidate, the fact that the series needed to resort to budget saving flashbacks and stills as early as episode four was far from a good sign, and when the next episode proved to be even more dull and uneventful (consisting as it did of answering riddles), the series was quickly shelved, never to be touched again.
Final words: Classic fantasy in anime needs drastic reinvention.

Gakuen Utopia Manabi Straight
School comedies have always been hit or miss for me, and Manabi Straight struck right out in its first episode. With an energetic and clueless lead who somehow becomes school president, Manabi Straight didn’t do a great deal for me, and was quickly assigned to the Recycle Bin.
Final words: Not for me.

Ichigo Mashimaro OVA

Basically a continuation of the TV series, the Ichigo Mashimaro OVA offered three more episodes of Nobue and the girls’ everyday adventures. Despite dragging a little in the second episode, overall the OVA was as entertaining as the TV series, with apt observations and polished delivery and timing turning basic activities into a source of amusement and entertainment.
Final words: A nice coda for a strong TV series.

Les Miserables Shoujo Cosette
As an attempt to adapt the original novel to a fifty-episode series aimed at the younger audience, Cosette seemed determined to make life hard for itself, and the results were appropriately unspectacular. With its emphasis on the Cinderella-esque life of Cosette, the series dripped with twee sentiments and overused plotlines to the exclusion of the good parts of the story.
Final words: Almost painful in its execution.

Maria-sama ga Miteru OVA

Prior to this OVA, I liked MariMite- despite all the angst, it managed to deliver a worthy tale of school life with a sprinkling of HARD YURI. Unfortunately, it was not a format that could make the transition to fifty-minute OVA episodes with any grace- everything became terribly long, drawn out and dull, whilst the HARD YURI content took advantage of its newfound freedom to reach new and unforeseen heights.
Final words: I’ll still be trying season four, but this OVA was a major setback for the franchise.

Nodame Cantabile

The only real noteworthy TV series from the winter season (aside from Hidamari Sketch and Himawari!!, both of which I still need to start), Nodame Cantabile promised to be ‘Honey and Clover with music’, but instead became tantalisingly inconsistent. At times, its insights into its two leads- one a technical genius, the other an intuitive talent- made it compelling viewing, but all too often the off-kilter humour and wacky side characters ruined the mood, whilst an air of Shounen Jump “let’s level up and make the strongest orchestra!” always lurked in the background. Despite these flaws, however, Nodame was overall a worthwhile investment of time, and with the manga still ongoing, a second season would be welcomed.
Final words: Snatches of greatness kept the series appealing even as the wackier elements suggested switching off would be the way to go.

SPRING 2007
Spring is usually the best season for anime, and indeed there were lots of promising contenders right out of the gate. When it came to the long haul, however, which would make it to the finish line, and which would run out of steam?

Bokurano
As readers may know, I love, adore and worship the Bokurano manga, and so I was delighted to hear that it was going to be adapted into an anime…right up until the moment I heard Studio “adaptation trainwreck” Gonzo would be handling it. Nonetheless, I went into the series with an open mind, only to find disappointment with major story changes and a complete lack of tension in the pacing- worse yet, the director himself claimed that he didn’t even like the original! I took his advice and chose not to watch any more.
Final words: If someone tries to pretend this anime even existed, I shall stick my fingers in my ears and sing loudly.

Claymore

I’ve managed to upset many Claymore fans by not rating the manga very highly, but let’s face it- faults aside, I’m still reading after seventy-four chapters and I do want to know how it’s all going to turn out. The same could not be said for the anime, which bucked me off like a recalcitrant horse after a mere eleven episodes thanks to uninspiring characters, dull fight scenes and a washed out colour scheme.
Final words: Give me Berserk any day.

Darker than Black

During its early episodes, I had the highest of hopes for Darker than Black- it seemed slick, well directed and packed with the perfect mix of exposition, mystery and action. Unfortunately, despite such a strong start, the series soon began to flounder, adopting a pacing more suited to a fifty-episode series as it introduced minor characters, packed in last minute explanations and generally failed to live up to those early days. Even Yoko Kanno’s work on the music didn’t seem up to her usual high standard, ensuring that no aspect of the series really lived up to its potential.
Final words: Darker than Black it may be, but it wasn’t better than good.

Dennou Coil

Ah, Dennou Coil, how much more can I praise you? I accept that this series wasn’t perfect, but if you’ll excuse the lapse into informality, it was damn close. Never before has a series so deserved to be lavished with internet praise along the lines of 1337, awesome and w1n, all thanks to an intriguing setting and story, combined with memorable and well developed characters. Mere words alone are not enough to praise this series, which was surely the best offering of 2007.
Final words: I worship at the shrine of Dennou Coil, and encourage others to join.

El Cazador de la Bruja

Better known as “El Caza-bore”, this third instalment in Bee Train’s girls-with-guns series did indeed contain girls and guns, but not in any combination that produced action. Instead, what we got was the most dreary road trip through a version of Latin America that contained only cacti, roadside diners and various other dusty clichés. Just watching all twenty-six episodes was an effort in itself, and one I only pursued for the sake of creating a superior parody version of events.
Final words: You haven’t experienced boredom until you’ve watched El Cazador.

Heroic Age
A series about a character named Age rather than an age of heroes, Heroic Age tried to create an epic setting involving space battles, legendary tribes and the like, but somewhere along the line it all became a dull universe populated by rejects from other Xebec series. With even the cameraman opting to stay well back from the action, there seemed little reason for anyone else to try to examine it closely.
Final words: Another average offering from Xebec.

Hitohira
A series about a shy girl who gets so nervous that she can’t speak (yet somehow gets into the drama club due to her occasional ability to shout), Hitohira was something I stuck with for a mere two episodes, before deciding that it wasn’t going to bring me anything particularly worthy. With forgettable characters and hints of HARD YURI, Hitohira seemed to patch together elements of other series like Tsuyokiss and Gokujou Seitokai- hardly a recommendation.
Final words: Like its lead, Hitohira remained quiet and unnoticed.

Koutetsu Sangokushi

As a fan of the Three Kingdoms era, I was looking forward to a series that would surely present it better than the forgettable 1990s effort- but sadly, despite superior production values, Koutetsu Sangokushi was not to be that series. Although Koutetsu should be praised for focusing on the kingdom of Wu, it loses points for its extreme levels of ridiculousness, from a super-HARD GAY gender-confused cast to the inclusion of special sentai powers for the main characters- somehow I just don’t remember these things happening in the original novel.
Final words: As far as historical adaptations go, this one is just laughably ridiculous.

Lucky Star

A series that attracted both hate and adoration in adoration, Lucky Star did very little for me; I didn’t despise it, but for me it just did very little- episodes would pass by and I would sit in front of them, almost completely indifferent to them. Occasionally I would laugh, but much of the series was just white noise.
Final words: Ichigo Mashimaro and Minami-ke make everyday life amusing, but Lucky Star just rambles on and on.

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS
The first two seasons of Nanoha weren’t great, but they won me over with their attractive character designs and worthy action scenes; sadly, the first thing StrikerS did was to introduce new characters to an already bloated cast and throw out actual battle in favour of training against robots. Whilst the leads were forced to wear limiters to remove their God Modes, everything was left in the hands of the newbies, whilst what had once been a simple world of magical girls fighting evil became tied up in pointless bureaucracy. It may have improved later on, but after six episodes, I bailed out.
Final words: No more Nanoha for me.

Murder Princess
An OVA from Bee Train, Murder Princess told the tale of a princess and a bounty hunter who rather randomly end up swapping bodies, but unfortunately, what looked like it would at least be a mildly entertaining fantasy series was ruined by ridiculous elements such as a mad scientist and his two loli androids. In the end, even a mere six episodes of this seemed like too much.
Final words: Nice character designs, shame about the rest.

Oh! Edo Rocket

With its low profile and childish-looking character designs, Oh! Edo Rocket initially didn’t seem like something worth watching- but how wrong I was. After some positive recommendations, I reversed my position and took the plunge, and it was eminently worth it. A series so crazy that you cannot help but love it, Oh! Edo Rocket is nominally about a fireworks maker trying to create a rocket that can go to the moon, but there is much more packed into it- from secret ‘Men in Black’ with special powers to aliens, monsters and a metric ton of pop culture references. It’s crazy, hilarious, sometimes a little dark, and a cut above pretty much every other anime that relies so heavily on humour and parody.
Final words: If Dennou Coil is the best series of the year, then this one must deserve the silver medal.

Romeo X Juliet

Adaptations come from many sources, but could anime really make something out of a Shakespeare play? Whether or not it could, Gonzo was determined to try, and in their usual fashion, they glanced at the original, threw it out of the window, and created a version that involved magical trees, flying horses and an aerial city that just happened to be named Neo Verona. Despite the general lack of similarity to the original, the series started well enough, and seemed as if it would go down as inoffensive light entertainment; unfortunately, as it progressed, the plot became ever more lacking and ridiculous, whilst the leads hardly inspired one to care for their plight. In the end, it found its greatest worth in the parody arena.
Final words: Romeo X Juliet? More like Ridiculous X Joke.

Saiunkoku Monogatari II

After such a strong first series, was it any surprise that I wanted more SaiMono? Unfortunately, with subs having dried up, I had to go it alone into the domain of raws, which for such a dialogue-heavy series meant relying on Impz and usagijen to help me through. Unfortunately, this approach distances me a little from the action, so that whilst I still enjoy the series and think it is good, it just doesn’t hook me in as it did before. Is it the complex web of storyline that I can’t follow in raw, the introduction of a few too many new characters, or the decision to slow down the pacing a bit to accommodate the fact that the series is catching up with the novels?
Final words: I love it, but I want to spend more time exploring the main characters- maybe a full immersion in the world of the series is what is needed.

Sakura Taisen New York
Having enjoyed the first two Sakura Wars OVAs and the TV series, I felt it was high time to branch out into the later OVAs- only to discover that with New York, I had chosen a poor place to start. With a brand new lead and his harem of shallow girls, this failed attempt to recapture the original Sakura Taisen magic completely and utterly fell flat, forcing me to abandon it by its second episode.
Final words: The original cast cannot be bettered.

Seirei no Moribito

It had the most beautiful of settings, but after a strong early start, that ultimately seemed to be all Seirei no Moribito could offer. Although its slow and tranquil pacing satisfied some, for me it was a case of being a series where not only did nothing ever happen, but it took a long time about not happening. There were a few worthy action scenes, but the rest of the series was drenched in sitting and talking- and so many episodes of static conversation can grow stale.
Final words: Instead of making anime, let’s just sit and talk about it.

Shining Tears X Wind
RPG adaptations are renowned for not being up to much, and when the source material is reputedly “the worst RPG ever” (and its sequel), you can’t really expect much. Even so, Shining Tears somehow managed to achieve new levels of awfulness, with its pointless and forgettable leads, incongruous elements (tanks and lasers in a fantasy kingdom) and general lack of anything that can be praised. I once considered Disgaea to be the worst anime ever, but this series has taken that spot.
Final words: It was a pile of Shining Tears X Wind.

Shinkyoku Soukai Polyphonica

Despite having encountered disappointment with the likes of YoakeNa, I still found myself drawn to eroge and visual novel-based series with worthy character designs- hence my brief relationship with Polyphonica. Unfortunately, even the lovely Corticarte could not disguise the fact that Polyphonica was pretty much entirely pointless filler- and when a beach episode appeared as early as episode three, I knew it was time to bail out.
Final words: Have I learned my lesson this time? I hope so.

SKULLMAN
Skullman, Skullman, does whatever a skull can…sits motionless, on a shelf- well, you get the idea. Based on a retro manga and series, SKULLMAN was not a series well-adapted for life in the twenty-first century, and by its first episode it was already floundering. With spoilers on wikipedia recounting a miserable background and fate for the eponymous anti-hero, it hardly seemed watching any more.
Final words: He’s a man… with a skull for a head! Bet you couldn’t guess that from the title, eh?

Victorian Romance Emma Second Act

The first season of Emma was highly enjoyable, but the fact that it only covered two volumes of the manga left the story hanging. With that in mind, a second season seemed a true blessing, although ultimately it was not one that was handled as well as it could have been. Despite having a further five volumes to cover and only twelve more episodes to do it in, Second Act began with a filler episode, before proceeding to cut out large chunks of the story (although admittedly the manga storyline of Emma being kidnapped and taken to America had seemed a little farfetched at the time). All in all, it was still a highly worthy series, just not as good as it could have been.
Final words: You can’t go wrong with Emma, but this still didn’t quite live up to its potential.

Wellber no Monogatari ~Sisters of Wellber~

The tale of a thief and a princess trying to flee one country and make it to another before a deadline, Wellber was another of those series that didn’t seem to bring anything original to the table, but nonetheless appeared entertaining enough to watch. Unfortunately, elements such as predictable storylines and a talking tank conspired against it, but overall it just managed to pull through as a piece of light entertainment- not least because of the unintentional hilarity that cropped up in most episodes.
Final words: Mildly entertaining.

SUMMER 2007
In principle, summer is when everyone is enjoying themselves in the great outdoors- and so why bother to air much in the way of good anime? Still, given the poor showings of summer 2005-6, 2007 might just have the edge over them with its single digit selection.

Baccano!

With a wealth of named characters and a timeline that jumped back and forth through early 1930s America, Baccano was never the easiest series to follow, and indeed, even now I cannot say I had much of a clue what was going on throughout large chunks of it. Even so, the sheer enthusiasm and attack which the series brought to our screens was so infectious that one could not help but enjoy it- whether it was a tense shootout or just Isaac and Miria getting up to their usual antics, Baccano was always entertaining- and with many more novels left to adapt, hopes for a second season are high.
Final words: Every season needs a good historical series, and this was the summer’s candidate.

Doujin Work

A short series focusing on a young woman who believes she can make her fortune drawing doujinshi, Doujin Work was never going to be anything very special, but despite the budget animation and predictable jokes, it was somehow entertaining. And with the actual episodes running at only fourteen minutes (the rest of the time slot was taken up with a live action guide to making doujinshi), it isn’t a huge investment in time either.
Final words: Light entertainment done right.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kai

After the first season, Higurashi had generally failed to impress, but having embarked upon the franchise, I felt I had to carry it through- a feeling that eroded with every week of watching Kai. Everything just felt so drawn out and over the top, especially Satoko’s situation (I would applaud the series for at least having a go at tackling the difficult subject of child abuse, but then again, is that something I really want to watch for entertainment?). Even the introduction of Hanyu to the mix couldn’t save the plot, and in the end I decided to leave the citizens of Hinamizawa to their miserable fate.
Final words: It fails in the execution.

Mononoke

Having been largely bored by Ayakashi, I approached its spin-off with caution- what if it was more of the same excruciatingly slow pacing? Nonetheless, having watched and enjoyed Requiem from the Darkness right before it started to air, I decided to take the plunge, and although Mononoke did indeed have its weak points, it turned out the be the right decision. With an intriguing lead character, unique art style and slicker direction than its predecessor, Mononoke managed to hit all the right notes for supernatural fantasy. A second season would not go amiss.
Final words: It succeeded because it didn’t have ‘Ayakashi’ in the title.

Mushi-Uta

Call me shallow, but the whole reason I wanted to watch Mushi-Uta was because the title seemed to label it as the bastard son of Mushishi and Utawarerumono. In fact, aside from a masked character who resembled Hakuoro, it bore very little resemblance to either, but after a shaky start, Mushi-Uta finally came up with the goods. Although the mixture of giant bug battles and high school life was often confusing, and in spite of the fact that I could barely get a grip on the characters’ names, the story slowly drew me in, to the extent that I even cared about the fate of a minor character. As with several other series this year, it needs a second season.
Final words: Sometimes randomly picked choices can work out well after all.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei

Since the blogworld once had its own Hopeless Sensei, this anime seemed almost destined to be watched, and happily it was a series well suited to SHAFT’s randomness. A classroom comedy with a twist of bleak despair, Sensei was much like any other comedy- funny when it hit the mark, but somewhat random and a little tedious when it didn’t. Coupled with a distinctive high contrast art style, it made the series memorable and unique, but not always for the right reasons.
Final words: Somewhat inconsistent, but with some highly worthy moments.

Tetsuko no Tabi
It’s hard for me to really appraise Tetsuko no Tabi since out of thirteen episodes I’ve only seen a badly subbed version of the first one, but nonetheless I’ll include it for completeness. A series based on actual train journeys, Tetsuko no Tabi had an interesting enough first episode, but without more material to work with, I can’t really form a proper opinion on this.
Final words: Won’t anyone sub this?

Zombie-Loan
DearS never looked promising, and Peach-Pit had already disappointed me with Rozen Maiden, but nonetheless for some reason I just had to try Zombie-Loan. Unfortunately, the series proved to lack much in the way of appeal, coming across only as an inferior version of xxxHOLiC and Tokyo Babylon.
Final words: CLAMP already did it better.

AUTUMN 2007
Like the spring, the autumn is meant to be replete with series worth watching, but let’s face it- Autumn 2007 was a big fat disappointment. Yes, there were some good series, but somehow the preponderance of mediocrity combined with circumstances in the outside world ensured that anime enthusiasm reached new and previously unexplored lows.

Aria the OVA ~Arietta~
For those of us who needed more Aria to keep us going, this brief OVA would have to make do between the long-finished second and upcoming third seasons. There’s not much to say about it, really, other than that it was another gentle and tranquil half-hour of life in Neo-Venezia, and in fact proved to be so worthy that I sat and watched it without even wanting to disturb my concentration by taking screencaps.
Final words: Punyu!

Clannad

I enjoyed Air and disliked Kanon, so it seemed likely that Clannad would fall somewhere in between, and indeed, so far it has. With a more likable lead than Kanon, it immediately scores over its predecessor, but unfortunately there seems to be a limit to the number of “sad girls” stories one person can swallow before becoming a little blasé about the whole thing.
Final words: It’s not bad, but I just can’t fangirl over it.

ef- a tale of memories
Whilst Owen and the others raved over it in their multi-post extravaganza, ef for me was a title that needed to be put on hiatus after episode three- the idea of someone being unable to retain their memories for more than thirteen hours was intriguing, but watching ef felt like following three different series, of which only one was worth following. I shall one day go back and watch the rest of the season in one go, but it wasn’t something where I wanted to put the effort of watching weekly.
Final words: I’ll get back to it…later.

Genshiken II
I enjoyed the first season of Genshiken, and so it seemed a foregone conclusion that the second would strike gold as well- after all, it had the rest of the original manga to work with. And indeed, Genshiken 2 quickly launched back into familiar territory, with familiar situations, character development and the sad realisation that many of our favourite personalities were graduating and moving on.
Final words: Now onwards to the manga.

Gundam 00
After Seed Destiny, my relationship with the Gundam franchise hit something of a rocky patch, so much so that it would take something far better than the usual Sunrise fare to repair it. Sadly, Gundam 00 wasn’t about to do that for me, and after a few episodes of pointless factions and a group who planned to enforce world peace by instigating wars, I decided to put the whole series on the heating element behind the normal back-burner.
Final words: Watching it can wait until 2008.

Hero Tales
With a name like ‘Hero Tales’, it was pretty obvious that this series wasn’t going to be up to much- even the FMA mangaka couldn’t really weave a good story about a boy with a destined sword. After watching an episode to assess its parody potential, I decided that even the gods of parody couldn’t expect me to watch something so boring in aid of a few laughs, and so it was put aside.
Final words: As original as its title.

Kaiji

Series dripping with GAR MANLINESS aren’t usually my thing, but having enjoyed Akagi so much, it seemed only logical to see what Madhouse could make of one of the mangaka’s other works- ‘Gambling Apocalypse Kaiji’. Whilst Kaiji is more emotional and less cold than Akagi, the twists and turns of his story are still worthy viewing- although one cannot help feeling a little sorry for poor Kaiji as his mammoth efforts in trying to win games dreamt up by sadistic yakuza only seem to result in him getting ever more in debt. I fear that twenty-six episodes won’t be enough for this series.
Final words: This series should be shown to everyone who finds themselves in danger of incurring debt.

Minami-ke

Keen for an extra dose of Ichigo Mashimaro, I went forth into Minami-ke, a similar tale about the everyday lives of three sisters. Despite trepidation that it would turn into another Lucky Star, Minami-ke had the required wit and delivery to make it entertaining rather than dull, and already a second season (albeit a retelling rather than a sequel) is set to air this January.
Final words: Forget choco cornets, melon pan and taiyaki, this year’s in-food is cream stew.

Mokke

Ever since enjoying Shrine of the Morning Mist, I’ve been on the lookout for the next entertaining silver/bronze tier supernatural series, and Mokke seems to be it. It may not be anything special, but the episodic tales of a pair of sisters- one who can see spirits, the other who gets possessed by them- has largely proven to make for enjoyable viewing, and the addition of a cat with special powers is just the icing on the cake.
Final words: Bronze tier entertainment.

Moyashimon

As the latest series to air in the vaunted noitaminA block (I know it’s ‘Animation’ spelt backwards, but it still sounds like some kind of vitamin or mineral to me), Moyashimon had a lot to live up to, but fortunately, all it needed was its uniqueness to make it a hit. Unappealing as a series about microbes may sound, when you take into account the fact that to our lead these microbes look rather cute, the whole thing takes on a new dimension; in fact, you wouldn’t go far wrong if you were to watch the series for this novelty alone. Fortunately, the rest of the content is solid enough, even if the characters are a little wacky.
Final words: I never once thought I’d say that I wanted a plushie of Aspergillus oryzae, but I want one.

Rental Magica
Where the search for supernatural light entertainment brought some successes in 2007, it also racked up a few failures, and Rental Magica was one of them. Populated by rejects from other series, Rental Magica seemed sure to at least mildly interest with its episodic tales of a company of magic users solving problems, but apart from a master of cat shikigami, there was little to engage the viewer.
Final words: Something to go back to when you have absolutely nothing else to watch.

Shakugan no Shana II

Even though I enjoyed it at the time, in retrospect the original Shakugan no Shana had a lot wrong with it- not least of which were the pointless and uninspiring villains. Even so, a second season would surely forge ahead into interesting and unknown parts of the novel series- or maybe not. For instead, Shana II decided to diverge into an uninteresting game-based tale that seemed determined to shake off all but the most devout of fans. With last season’s confession revoked and the love polygon once again taking hold, it seemed as if this was one series worth bailing out of.
Final words: There’s completion, and then there’s masochism- watching Shana II was surely the latter.

Sketchbook ~full color’S~

Every year needs a good slice-of-life series, and whilst Sketchbook was not to be in the Aria/YKK class, it was still an enjoyable series, not least because of the high volume of cats and fat chickens contained therein. Although it times it seemed as if it was trying too hard to capture a calm atmosphere that should just come naturally, Sketchbook was still worth watching, and after initially thinking little of the shy and quiet lead, after a while I began to identify with her- all too often I end up thinking a lot more than I actually end up saying (but no more! Now I shall never shut up!).
Final words: Full of cats.

And so, 2007 has shown us both good and bad (much like every year, really) and all we can do is await 2008 and the offerings it shall bring us. See you next year!

Doujin Work to hit the US?
Alongside the second season of flagship franchise Genshiken and its spin-off Kujibiki Unbalance, Media Blasters has claimed that it will be dubbing “Doujin Works”, although they refuse to confirm or deny whether this means they have the license to the 2007 Doujin Work anime. That being said, it seems hard to imagine what else they could be referring to, and so it seems that this series may well be hitting the US at some point in the future.
Nobue: Well, duh, what other series could they mean?
Matsuri: You know, we shouldn’t assume anything until they confirm it.
Chika: Meh, they’re just building up anticipation.
Miu: FUNGYAAH!!!

Lucky Star licensed- what a surprise
Kadokawa and Bandai have allied once again to bring fanboys what they want- a dose of KyoAni’s twenty-four episode comedy series, Lucky Star. A series that divided anime viewers between the factions who found it either dull or hilarious, Lucky Star managed to inspire discussions that were at least more exciting than the rather inoffensive series itself, and now you can own it for yourself- that is, if you want to.
Nobue: We already did the girls do random stuff comedy so much better.
Matsuri: Shouldn’t we give this a chance?
Nobue: No way- besides those girls aren’t as cute as you.
Miu: They’re not meant to be- they’re older than you, Nobue.
Nobue: Shut up- they look underage.

Persona 3 anime
As if there weren’t enough inferior RPG adaptations flooding the market, Persona 3 will become the latest game to get its own anime come January 2008. Whilst I am planning to get the game at some point on manga’s recommendation, I can’t say I’m particularly enthused about this series, although apparently it will be a sequel rather than a retelling of the game story.
Nobue: Hey Miu, let’s play some Persona 3.
Miu: Yay, is it a beat-‘em-up?
Nobue: You are hopeless.

Honey and Clover gets dramatic
It’s had an anime and a live-action movie, but now Honey and Clover will also be receiving a drama series. Starring 15 year old Riko Narumi as Hagu and 23 year old Toma Ikuta as Takemoto, the series will begin in January.
Ana: I don’t really understand the point of live action adaptations.
Chika: Actually, they can be good.
Nobue: But real girls will never be as cute as you!
Miu: You’re including me in that, right?
Nobue: No.

More live action from Viz
Viz continues its live-action licensing with a few more movies- Honey and Clover, Lovely Complex and both Nana movies. All movies will have limited screenings either theatrically or at the New York Anime Festival before being released on DVD in early 2008.
Nobue: Yawn- next item please.

Mai-Otome S.ifr website
I know what big Otome fans readers of this blog tend to be, and so I’m sure you’ll all be delighted to learn that the website for the latest OVA is open for business, complete with story and character information.
Nobue: Do you want to pretend to be an Otome, Matsuri, and I’ll kiss you to confirm the contract?
Matsuri: Um, er…
Miu: Kiss me! Kiss me!

Geneon Saga latest: letter to fans

In our continuing coverage of the protracted Geneon saga, we can reveal that the company president has sent out a message to fans. Although rather generic in nature, the letter thanks fans for their support, and claims that the company is still looking for ways to continue distribution of their DVDs (obviously via an agreeable third party). Black Lagoon, ZnT and Nanoha fans should also take heart, as even though it is unclear when and how the DVDs will get to American fans (and importers), Ocean Studios claims to be proceeding with dubbing with the relevant seasons of these series.Zetta says: No one respects an Overlord who loses his Netherworld, but in order for there to be winners, some people have to lose out.

Tickle the tastebuds with Clannad bread

Although anpan would seem a more suitable product to market with a Clannad label, rabid Key fans will have to make do with a new line of canned bread from Pan Akimoto. Presented in a Clannad-themed packaging, this canned bread is available in seven flavours- chocolate, green tea, strawberry, butter, raisin, blueberry, and milk.

Zetta says: Canned bread, huh? I prefer the ordinary stuff.

Goth goes to Hollywood\r\nRemember that Goth manga that I reviewed a while ago? Well, the original novel is set to branch out even further with a proposed Hollywood live-action adaptation. Exactly how this dark yet confusing tale will fare on the big screen remains to be seen, but I shall be adopting a cautious pessimism.

Zetta says: Who cares about that? Let’s see Makai Kingdom, the movie, with a handsome guy playing me!

Revisit those Mysterious Cities of Gold

Although I didn’t personally watch it, many fans around my age will most likely have fond memories of Mysterious Cities of Gold, a French-Japanese co-production from DiC and Studio Pierrot. Now you can revisit those nostalgic times thanks to an upcoming and long overdue DVD release, which will hit the UK in February 2008, with US and Australian releases planned for a later date.

Zetta says: Who cares about old series? Stop living in the past!

Higurashi producers take note

Although the producers of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kai have posted a note explaining that they have done their utmost to lift the ban on it being broadcast on certain channels, there is no sign that anything will change in the near future. Ever since the infamous Nice Boat week, Higurashi’s run on some channels has been indefinitely terminated, but it should still continue to air on others.

Zetta says: They think that’s violent? They should visit the Netherworld sometime.

Mai-Otome 0: Zero is about how much I care anymore

For those still swept up in the Mai-Otome craze (or like me, follow it for reasons long forgotten), note down February 22^nd, 2008 in your diaries- it’s the release date of the Mai-Otome 0 ~S.ifr~ OVA. If you can’t wait that long, however, fear not, for Sunrise is milking the franchise even more with two 100 minute compilation movies covering the series and Zwei. The movies will be out in late January.

Zetta says: I wouldn’t mind being surrounded by beautiful Otome.

Hello Kitty gets a Gold Card

Got more money than sense? Already bought that Swarovski crystal-embroidered Gundam t-shirt? Then maybe you can spend the $5000 that’s burning a hole in your pocket on some solid gold Hello Kitty playing cards. Just don’t lose them down the back of the sofa.

Zetta says: The most badass freaking Overlord in the cosmos would never touch Hello Kitty merchandise.

OVA closing thoughts
As to be expected of an OVA sequel to a TV series, Zwei started off by introducing a previously unmentioned evil for our heroines to fight- in this case, a shadow Otome who petrified some named characters for no real reason and absorbed the appearance of Fumi Himeno, the first ever Otome. As we learn in this episode, our enemy is actually some sort of superweapon named Yuna who was sent into space by her creators, only to end up causing trouble for our leads. Sadly, thanks to all the time spent on bus hijackings and bathing scenes, there isn’t time to give Yuna much in the way of development- she merely appears, turns a few people to stone, and ultimately gets defeated.

Anyway, on with the plot, and for reasons that remain unclear to me even now, the strange plant things that appear all over the world open up to reveal Children, presumably included as a way of giving the supporting Otome something to do. In an homage to Mai-HiME, the Child that appears at Mai’s location just happens to be Kagutsuchi, letting the powerful cat goddess Mikoto step back and let her Otome fight it whilst she continues to nap.

Meanwhile, Yuna decides to transform into final boss mode, and by randomly using some source of power that just happens to be compatible with her, she transforms into a giant version of Otome Fumi, complete with a connection to the so-called ‘Administar’ in orbit of the planet. Yes, an alien weapon can now connect to a previously unimportant orbiting Shinso, whilst our own Otome are so unprepared for the loss of their Shinso that they have to use a barely functional surrogate system (what is the surrogate system, anyway?).

With the final boss in place, it is time for Arika to go to Mashiro, but whilst Lumen is willing to take her part of the way, once they meet up with Midori and Rad, Arika and Mikoto get stranded in the middle of nowhere for some reason. Not that I don’t understand the desire to leave Arika to perish in the desert, but when fat cat Mikoto is there too, it becomes a different matter entirely. Anyway, for reasons that I suspect will never make sense to me, Mikoto is somehow able to signal for a white dolphin by flashing light off her earring, enabling Arika to reach Mashiro just in time to stop FumiYuna from blowing her away.

Sadly, Arika in puffy pink mode is not enough to defeat the final boss, and so various convenient yet ultimately senseless things have to occur in order to avoid a game over. First, Nina, who just happened to wash up here at the end of last episode, carrying a book that oh-so-conveniently contains some long-lost Otome gems, makes a contract with Mashiro so that she too can join the fight in a brand new Robe. Then, determined not to be outdone, Arika decides to settle her differences with Mashiro with a mutual slap on the cheek, somehow magically re-enabling the much better looking Zwei Mode Robe. Finally, Nagi, who seems to know exactly what is going on despite being stuck in an Artai prison, phones up Natsuki because he somehow knows exactly how to Protect Break the enemies so that they can be defeated without continually regenerating. All I can say is- thank heavens for coincidences.

With all these pieces in place, FumiYuna is defeated, but by exercising her right to a second form, she is able to survive by absorbing Mashiro and turning into the true final boss, FumiMashiro. What drama, what excitement- oh wait, one attack each from Nina and Arika, and she’s been turned into green sparkles.

Meanwhile, Mai has been fighting Kagutsuchi conveniently off screen all this time, but now that we’re approaching the end, it is time to finish the job by pulling its sword out. For reasons that remain beyond my understanding, this causes Kagutsuchi to transform into a small white cat- cute, to be sure, but inexpliable nonetheless. Now, everyone can live happily ever after, and whilst Mashiro and Arika appear to be missing, they actually prove to be floating happily in space (as we have already seen, breathing in space and even entering the atmosphere whilst buck naked are mere trifles to Otome characters), contemplating how they would like to see more of the world.

And so, it all ends- or does it? For, post-credits, we see Ribbon-chan, who now resembles chibi-Erstin more than a black mage (she may even be the reincarnation of Erstin in some sense) resolve to become an Otome one day- surely a recipe for a sequel some day. And even before that inevitable sequel, we have a prequel to look forward to- Mai-Otome S.ifl.

Alternate Version

Natsuki is shocked and disappointed to learn that she must stay put with the nameless heads of state whilst everyone else gets action scenes.

“Should I wait in the dressing room until it’s time for my final boss battle?”

Let’s play guess the character! Here are a few clues- it’s a fire element Child whose name begins with K.

“Haruka, come back to me so that we can have HARD YURI once again.”

“ARIKAA!!!! Sergey is mine!!”

“Nina, it’s you that I love!”

“Oh, it was just a budget saving flashback dream.”

Time for some catservice.

“Who left the Book of Twilight here?”

“Launch Gundams, er, I mean Otome!”

“Arika, what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to take up screen time with main character type things.”

(“Damn, there goes my last chance of being able to do anything useful.”)

Nagi plans to make millions by publishing his “Smile Diary”.

“Rad, I wish there was some point to us appearing.”

“You think you’ve got problems- I lost my bishie body before the series even began!”

“Arika, here’s the script for the rest of the episode- written under the influence of sweet potato dango as usual.”

“Okay, we’re just going to fly off and leave you here now.”

“Can’t you take me with you?”

“Sorry, I can’t hear you!”

Bee Train must have assisted with this scene.

Mikoto to the rescue!

Her earring is able to signal for rescue.

Gathering apples is always relevant to the plot.

“Oh, by the way, I also have a Slave crystal- because I am the reincarnation of Erstin!”

“Oh come on- can anyone who isn’t called Mimi actually die in this series?”

“I must only use my powers for cooking!”

“Activate HiME-service and summon Kagutsuchi!”

“This seems familiar somehow.”

“We may be unimportant to the plot, but we’re still alive!”

“Quick, Mikoto, we must power up with HARD YURI!”

“Leave this to me- fans will appreciate the irony.”

“People have been complaining that we just fly around and use energy blast, so here’s an all-new Maraca Attack!”

“Minor Character Gratuitous Cameo Attack!”

“Final Boss Form One- Giant Winged Fumi!”

“Now to strike fear into the hearts of everyone by attacking nowhere in particular with my laser beam eyes!”

I don’t really understand how or why, but somehow “Fumi” is able to connect to the so-called “Administar”.

“Bad news, Natsuki- the plot makes no sense whatsoever!”

Enemies emerge to keep the lesser Otome occupied.

“You can’t attack me- I’m not an Otome!”

“I can’t be blown away- I’m too important! Don’t make me the first significant casualty!”

“Magical star dolphin ex machina!”

For some reason, the dolphin has a Mikoto-earring. If only Sunrise would explain these things.

“Play time is over- it’s time for you to face the main character!”

If there’s a Mikoto shot, you can be sure I’ll take it.

“Get me the director- I need to know why this OVA is so crappy!”

“Say what? If I don’t co-operate, I don’t get any HARD YURI with Shizuru?”

“Who is this, anyway?”

“Natsuki, I am the director!”

(“That explains a lot.”)

“Why am I losing? I thought I was the main character!”

“Nina, the plot needs you!”

“Thank god I have these conveniently procured GEMs.”

“Mashiro, let’s copy the manga and have you make a contract with me.”

“Okay, but let me get one thing straight- I am not a man in drag!”

“Materialise with all-new previously unmentioned GEM- Neptune Emerald!”

“I’m back- and this time I’ll make sure the audience doesn’t hate me!”

“Yay, Nina- let’s have HARD YURI!”

“Hey Mashiro, I can’t outdo Nina without the Zwei Mode I lost in episode one!”

“Fine- we can easily mend our relationship by slapping each other.”

“That feels much better.”

“Goodbye Arinko, hello Rena junior!”

This attack is called Dash Cold Water Spout (no, really).

Yes, everyone else is still fighting- and note how Akane is having the closest thing she will ever get to a sexual experience.

“Gwakakaka, I am the final boss- it will take more than flashy special attacks to destroy me!”

“Oh crap, why do you always lose reception when you need it the most?”

“Help, I’m dying- dying!”

“Oh wait, final bosses always get a second form- Mashiro Fusion!”

“Don’t worry about me- Sunrise surely wouldn’t kill me off now!”

“All right, let’s do some special attacks.”

“Yay, I get an even bigger sword!”

“Damn you- I just get this same old attack again!”

“Sorry, Nina, but the main character always gets the final blow.”

Ah, good old green sparkles.

For reasons it is best not to think too deeply about, when Mai defeats Kagutsuchi, it turns into this small white cat.

“Yay, this OVA is almost over!”

“Hey, since Shizuru isn’t around, what say you and I hook up?”

“Actually, everyone who was petrified has just woken up unharmed.”

“This isn’t the last you’ve seen of Sergey Wang!”

Mashiro and Arika- proving once again that in the Otome world, survival in the hard vacuum of space is nothing special.

“Looking down at the planet from up here makes me realise how petty and small we can be when we should be looking at the bigger picture, yada, yada, yada…”

Yes, “Otome wa do my best deshou?” is so good that it really needed a 2007 remix.

“I’m going to be an Otome some day, and have my own spin-off series!”- and yes, this is Ribbon-chan/Erstin/whatever she is.

Coming soon, Mai-Otome S.ifl!

Experience the early days of one John Smith!

As he faces off against Some Guy!

It’s not Chie and Shiho, but Mayo and Shion from the Mai-HiME Destiny novels.

Young Maria and Some Other Character appear.

The legendary Pillars of old don their robes…

…but are they any match for Rena? Who cares, really?

And no, I wasn’t joking when I said it was called S.ifl.

Hello and welcome to another edition of Sunday News Bites! This week, we are joined in the newsroom by fat cat Mikoto, who we can communicate with by means of a special translator. Trust me, she makes more sense than some of the guests we’ve had on here.

Mai-Otome S.ifl- that’s Zero to you and me
Can’t get enough of Mai-Otome? Then you’ll be happy to know that now that everyone’s favourite OVA, Zwei, has concluded, we’re going to be treated to the all-new Mai-Otome S.ifl (previously known as Mai-Otome 0), a prequel story featuring Rena, young John Smith, blonde Maria and the five Pillars of the era- as well as what looks like appearances from the two starring characters of Mai-HiME Destiny. I know it will probably be senseless, confusing and lacking in any real plot, but due to the cursed destiny that ties me to Otome, I feel compelled to try it out.
Mikoto says: I hope there are fat cats in this…in fact, it should only be about fat cats.

Gunslinger Girl season 2: this time it’s for real
A while ago, there was an “is it, isn’t it?” announcement about a potential second season of Gunslinger Girl, but now this mythical season has finally been confirmed, much to the joy of series fans everywhere. If you haven’t read the manga and are worried that the franchise cannot sustain a second season, let me put your mind at ease- the second season will begin with the Pinocchio arc that appeared in the third volume, and after that, there is plenty more excellent material to draw from. Go and buy the manga now if you want to see what’s in store- the only question is how the season one anime-original ending will be reconciled with the ongoing story.
Mikoto says: Those girls are very energetic with all their running and shooting, but can they take on the might of a fat cat?

Thought Gundam merchandise had gone as far as it could go?
Then you obviously haven’t heard of the Gundam Heroines Wafer Choco Extra and Card File Set. Retailing at 10,000 yen, these limited edition sets (only 500 will be produced) features not only a special collection of Gundam Seed Destiny trading cards and a file to put them in, but twenty wafer chocolates.
Mikoto says: Mmm, chocolate- but why can’t there be fewer trading cards and more food? Oh, forget it, I’ll just go and buy a slab of Dairy Milk.

Kerokero Ace
A brand new magazine is set to launch, and in it, we can expect some new manga all designed to test the question of just how much you can flog the dead or dying horse. The upcoming Kerokero Ace magazine will not only see a manga adaptation of Gundam 00 and a brand new Keroro Gunso spin-off (is there really room for a spin-off in that particular universe), as well as a new .hack manga. Details on the .hack manga are sketchy at best, so it is unknown which era of The World’s history it will take place in, and which characters will star.
Mikoto says: Some franchises don’t know when to stop, do they? Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off for my costume fitting for Mai-Nekotome, a tale of fat cats fighting evil.

I’ve been awfully negligent about these introductions lately, haven’t I? To make up for it, here are links to some amusing videos- Minesweeper the movie and Facebook Off. Trust me, they’re worth clicking on.

Reviewed this week: Baccano! 3, Darker than Black 20, El Cazador 20, Higurashi Kai 7, Koutetsu Sangokushi 11, Mai-Otome Zwei 4, Mononoke 4, Mushi-Uta 7, ROTK 47, RxJ 18, Seirei no Moribito 19, Sisters of Wellber 4

…and in manga: SaiMono 7, Spiral 48, Twin Spica 5+flashback

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

1. Dennou Coil (1) – no more until the 25^th? Don’t make me wait!
2. SaiMono II (2) – who will win Eigetsu’s heart?
3. Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei (3) – despair!
4. Darker than Black (4) – not bad, could be better
5. Baccano! (5) – I don’t know what’s going on, but I like it
6. Mononoke (6) – what do you fear the most?
7. Mushi-Uta (7) – stabilising in the pretty good zone
8. Tetsuko no Tabi (8)- train adventures
9. Doujin Work (9) – this is becoming a guilty pleasure
10. Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kai (10) – Hanyu makes it all better
11. Koutetsu Sangokushi (11) – pure cheese
12. Romeo X Juliet (12) – what’s the point anymore?
13. Seirei no Moribito (13) – an exercise in monotony
14. El Cazador de la Bruja (14) – useless Nadie

SLOW RANKINGS

1. Shounen Onmyouji (1)- a new episode after so long
2. Love GetChu! (3)- light entertainment
3. Sisters of Wellber (2) – Rita gets a new job
4. ROTK (4)- done and dusted <-complete!

OVA RANKINGS

1. MariMite (2)- more HARD YURI than ever
2. Mai-Otome Zwei (3)- white cat <-complete

Baccano! 3: With this episode, I have even less of a grasp of what is going on, but much like Iroha in its day, I am enjoying myself nonetheless (in fact, I’d go so far as to say that this has the potential to be better than Iroha. In this episode, we follow the threads of various characters, as criminal activities mix in with a mysterious ability to cheat death. I may not know what’s happening, but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying it.

Darker than Black 20: Another arc concludes and we’re still no closer to finding out the truth about this world; instead, the episode is spent trying to rescue Shihoko and getting to Alma. Some interesting contract remunerations are revealed, but aside from that, there’s not a huge reason to care about the deaths of yet more characters we just met. Although I’m appreciative of how this arc fleshed out Huang beyond his initial shallow and dislikeable image, it once again feels like something we should have seen nearer the beginning of the series, not six episodes from the end.

El Cazador de la Bruja 20: After nineteen slow, boring and pointless episodes of El Cazador, the twentieth episode marks a change by being…slow, boring and pointless. Having succumbed to the green-eyed monster of jealousy when he sees how close Ellis and Nadie have become, L.A. decides to enlist the police to capture and kill Nadie, only to change his mind and decide to kill her himself mere minutes later. Meanwhile, Ricardo and Lirio show up to help out, Blue Eyes appears to observe and Nadie proves herself to be so useless that even a generic can cause her to trip over a dustbin lid. Whatever immunity I had last week also seems to be breaking down, as this once again felt like about fifty minutes rather than twenty-five.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kai 7: Unlike previous worlds, everything seems to be conspiring to make sure that none of our leads spirals off into a psychotic rampage- thanks to dream-memories of earlier tragedies, each takes the action needed to prevent disaster. Even so, Hanyu is sure that this world will end in failure as well, and even though detailed spoilers tell me how everything will turn out in this arc, it is still proving to be more satisfying than Higurashi has been in a long time.

Koutetsu Sangokushi 11: It cannot be denied anymore- Koutetsu Sangokushi is not just cheese, it is pure unadulterated mature cheddar. In this episode, our heroes condense the historical battle of Chi Bi into a battle against Wei’s implausible ship, the Red Cliff, and never have I seen something so unintentionally hilarious. After a lot of HARD GAY innuendo and predictable moves by our characters, our six main heroes actually get teleported inside the Sovereign’s Seal (or, as I call it, the Lord’s Cube), where they are each given magical Gundam Musou Dragoon Ranger powers, and the whole thing turns into a sentai show. As always, it’s not what I was expecting when I started this show, but the whole thing is a laugh riot.

*COMPLETE* Mai-Otome Zwei 4: I think it’s time to accept that Mai-Otome will never leave my life, but that doesn’t mean we have to be comfortable bedfellows. I want to leave the full shredding to its own dedicated post, but suffice to say that this final instalment in the Zwei OVA is basically a boss battle against the evil shadow Otome (now in the shape of giant Fumi), and Arika and Nina defeat it (Nina makes a contract with Mashiro) whilst Mai fights Kagutsuchi and the other Otome tackle nameless monsters off screen. It’s poor quality, senseless and largely pointless, but because it actually has fighting scenes, it is one of Otome’s better moments. And as if the wasn’t enough, a new prequel OVA(?) is said to be coming soon- Mai-Otome S.ifl. More on that this Sunday.

Mononoke 4: The good yet bizarre second arc of Mononoke continues in this episode (and yes, it’s definitely to be continued), as an Umizatou (basically a monstrous fish man with hideous smacking lips) boards the ship and asks everyone what their greatest fear, before showing them a disturbing and hideous illusion. By the end of the episode, we discover who brought the ship to this place and why, but on the way there’s plenty of creepy and borderline imagery to see- and to my surprise, I’m actually enjoying it.

Mushi-Uta 7: Whilst three new characters arrive in town to search for Fuyuhotaru, Asami continues to adjust to her new powers- and it seems certain that the various factions will be coming after her soon. I finally feel as if I have a somewhat more solid (if not complete) grasp of what is going on, although as before I am more drawn to the character interactions and their double lives than to the whole Bug Master aspect that I initially expected to be the most appealing element.

*COMPLETE* Romance of the Three Kingdoms 47: Well, it’s finally over, and with that this series can be put to rest. In this episode, the battle of Chi Bi concludes with the fire attack on the Wei ships, and although the narrator tells us that this is only the beginning of the Three Kingdoms era proper, as far as this series goes, it is the end of an era of mixed cheese, unintentional hilarity and stretches of boredom. No one else should ever attempt to watch it.

Romeo X Juliet 18: Francisco and Conrad have ordered some swords for the previously unmentioned mounted cavalry strike on Neo Verona, but since doing such a thing would advance the plot too far too fast, everyone decides to break off and perform one of Shakespeare’s plays (that’s the Shakespeare in the series, not the genuine article). Meanwhile, Romeo and his prisoner friends start making the abandoned village prosperous again- if this was some kind of simulation game, it might be enjoyable, but this is an anime, and right now it’s anime that’s going nowhere, and will probably continue to go nowhere right up until the end.

Seirei no Moribito 19: This week on Seirei no Moribito, the exciting crunch time continues as our characters try Sitting and Talking! Talking! Talking! Try not to fall off the edge of your seat as our undefeated heroine Balsa seats herself on a mat and takes on Tanda in the mightiest conversational battle you’ve ever seen! Tremble with fear as no fewer than Eight (that’s Eight, ladies and gentlemen) Evil Men skulk around the edge of a village and politely ask questions about our heroes! Feel the adrenalin flow as Chagum tries to Slowly Walk Away From Home with a village girl, only to meet Balsa in the Showdown of the Century! Will he run her through with her own spear so that he can go home to Mummy and Shuga, or will she easily deflect the untrained boy, slap him in the face and tell him to stop being so Damn Annoying? Find out by calling your cable provider and asking them to hook you up to Seirei no Moribito! Don’t watch this all in one go, because the excitement will Blow Your Mind!

Wellber no Monogatari ~Sisters of Wellber~ 4: It’s been a while since we had any Wellber, but now episode four has appeared, in which Rita is forced to hide in what turns out to be the red-light district. Naturally, Rita’s complete lack of understanding first sees her almost getting employed as a prostitute herself, before deciding to campaign against the evils of women selling themselves (surely a counterpart to the recent TV show Anne Widdecombe vs. Prostitution) and then ultimately leaving all the characters of the week behind to continue her mission. It’s all rather standard and not particularly exciting, but the occasionally parody-worthy nature of this show has inspired me to consider “Saturday Special”, where I parody hand-picked episodes from various series.

MANGA

Saiunkoku Monogatari 7: It’s all the way back to the first arc once again in this chapter, as Shou Taishi’s scheme is revealed and Sa Enjun takes the fall- with his life. It’s good to relive these early parts of the story in such a compact form, although it would be even better if it was getting released a bit faster. Yes, this manga may be a mere extra course to the main meals of novel and anime, but it’s still worth having around.

Spiral 48: The confrontation with Kanone is, er, still going on, but luckily for Spiral, it remains good enough that we can pretend not to notice how long this fight has been dragging on for. Ayumu and Kanone are face to face once again, but whilst Kanone is certain that nothing can deflect the predetermined future where Ayumu kills him, our hero is about to play his last few cards. Everyone will be walking an extremely thin tightrope, but if everything comes together, their plan might just come together. I’m guessing it will, but that doesn’t make it any less interesting to read.

Twin Spica 5, flashback 2: After another flashback in which Asumi nearly drowns and visits the world between life and death (complete with some familiar faces), it’s time to get on with the present story in chapter five, which sees our heroine travel to Tokyo to start her first term in Space School. I’ve seen this all before in the anime, but even so Twin Spica is good enough to make it dramatic and heart-wrenching all over again.