Azure Flame Reloaded

As the Pleasure Rangers continue on their way home, Lu Xun is still in Angst Mode.

(Lu Xun: Why did this have to happen? Now I’m never going to get a glimpse of Master’s mighty weapon!)

Lu Meng: I think there’s a farmhouse nearby- we should rest and have some refreshing HARD GAY there.

Taishi Ci: But we need to get back quickly so that we can service Sun Quan!

Lu Meng: If we’re out of practice, we’ll be in no fit state to service him.

At Liu Bei’s palace, the named Shu characters gather together. Continue Reading »

Extracts from the book of HARD GAY: Koutetsu Sangokushi

Part II: Shu

Liu Bei: A youthful lover, effeminate to the point that no one really knows his (or her) true gender. Despite his lack of experience, his uncertain sexuality should please those who like to experiment.

Zhuge Liang: God’s own son, a master in the bedroom. Few have seen him “tackle out”, and it will take someone very special to get the full HARD GAY treatment from him.

Guan Yu: A rough and direct lover, consumed by the Lord’s Sphere to the extent of becoming violent in the bedroom.

Zhang Fei: Similat to Guan Yu, only even more lacking in finesse. Continue Reading »

A normal day at Azure Flame.

It’s been a year of ups and downs, of anime gems and utter disappointments- a year when I’ve alternated between craving more and feeling utterly fed up with the continuing deluge of episodes that take no account of the fact that people might have other things to do than stay in and watch all day. Nonetheless, in true years-end tradition, we must review all the new series in an Annual Round-Up, a project which I meant to periodically update through the year but ended up writing at the last minute again.

As always, red titles are those which were dropped, and blues are the picks of the year. Come back on Tuesday for the New Year Rumble, in which we take a look at the year in the life of Azure Flame.

Continue Reading »

Lu Xun is in Angst Mode.

Taishi Ci: Snap out of it, man- there are only seven episodes left! We have to get back to Wu!

After a brief spot of HORSE, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei report in to Liu Bei.

Liu Bei: What do you mean, you were unable to defeat the Pleasure Rangers? What are you, mindless underlings?

Zhuge Liang: Do not fear, my Lord; this week’s plan will surely succeed, because instead of attacking well protected main characters, we are going after some mid-bosses from Wei.

Liu Bei: Excellent- and if you could perhaps bring back their severed Swords for me, as I seem to have lost mine.

Zhuge Liang: Now get to it- it’s time for Liu Bei and I to have wild Pleasure in the garden. Continue Reading »

Lu Xun and Ling Tong approach Zhuge Liang’s hut.

Ling Tong: Aniki, are you sure you should go alone?

Lu Xun: Yes- I need to ask Zhuge Liang to bless our union.

Ling Tong: Can I actually count on you to come back? What if he seduces you into breaking up with me?

Lu Xun: I wish- er, I mean, wait here, and if I don’t get any better offers I’ll be back for you later. Continue Reading »

Ling Tong binds Lu Xun’s wounds.

(Ling Tong: He has to notice me after this!)

(Lu Xun: Master, why have you forsaken me for the charms of other men?)

The next day, Lu Xun visits the shrine with Sun Quan.

Lu Xun: Before he died, Zhou Yu told me that Master was in danger.

Sun Quan: This is serious news indeed- without him, China would lose a valuable source of HARD GAY. Lu Xun, as the main character, you must save him. Continue Reading »

Extracts from the Book of HARD GAY: Koutetsu Sangokushi

Part I: Wu

Lu Xun: The main character, young, good-looking and virile. Having been taught by the great Zhuge Liang himself, he knows of many techniques, but he doesn’t seem to take the hint when approached by potential lovers.

Sun Ce: A rough and powerful lover, his skills are enhanced by the Lord’s Cube.

Sun Quan: A gentle, effeminate lover- prefers to be submissive.

Taishi Ci: Another rough and direct lover, prefers to use Axe. Not for those who prefer a man with a bit of finesse. Continue Reading »

Damn you anime, I want to live! Due to an unmanageable amount of releases this week, some titles have been postponed until next round-up.

Reviewed this week: Baccano! 8, Doujin Work 8-12, ef- a tale of memories 1, Gundam 00 1, Kaiji 1, Koutetsu Sangokushi 14-15, MariMite OVA 5, Mokke 1, Mononoke 10-11, Oh! Edo Rocket 19-20, Rental Magica 1, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei 8, Shana II 1, Shounen Onmyouji 19, Sisters of Wellber 10

…and in manga: Chokotto Sister 46, Claymore ES 4, Spiral 58-9

Continue Reading »

The country of Shu is magically created by gathering Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Zhao Yun, Zhuge Liang and numerous cloned generics together in a castle.

Guan Yu: This is our land! Long-live Shu!

Zhang Fei: Take that, historical accuracy!

Liu Bei: This is boring! When are we going to get around to deciding my gender?

Zhuge Liang: Actually, what we need for that is the Lord’s Cube, which happens to be in Wu right now. I spent half the series helping Wu get it, but now the time has come for me to support Shu. Continue Reading »

Lu Xun awakens from a dream to find himself naked in bed.

(Lu Xun: What is this? Did someone violate me whilst I was sleeping?)

Meanwhile, other named characters gather around Zhou Yu’s corpse.

(Gan Ning: My lord, why did you have to deprive me of everything but CORPSE with you?)

Lu Meng places Zhou Yu’s Flute on his body.

Lu Meng: This was Zhou Yu’s weapon, which he used to bring Pleasure to many. Continue Reading »