Chagum’s Spinning Coins

Ever wished for something a little more exciting than the sitting and talking of Seirei no Moribito? Then Chagum’s Spinning Coins is the one for you, an exciting tale based on the episode where Chagum plays the spinning coin game! Can young Chagum, a beginner at Spinning Coins, master the game and rise to the top in time for the upcoming world tournament? Can he defeat the evil forces hoping to use the power of Spinning Coins to take over the world? Tune in and find out!

FF7: E-Z of spin-offs

As we all know, Final Fantasy VII has spawned four money-making spin-offs lettered from A to D- Advent Children, Before Crisis, Crisis Core and Dirge of Cerberus. It is clear that is only the beginning of a whole A-Z of FF7 cash-ins, and here on Tuesday Rumble, we plan to document the future of franchise spin-offs.

Elena- A Life in the Turks: Play as Elena as she becomes a Turk and rises in the ranks.

Fort Condor: Remember how much you loved that Fort Condor mini-game of pain and excruciating slowness? Well, now you can play an entire game based on protecting Fort Condor from endless waves of enemies.

Gold Saucer: An entire game based around the mini-games at Gold Saucer, now expanded for additional “enjoyment”.

Hojo’s House of Horrors: Before he died, Hojo left a house filled with dangerous experiments, and when the security went down, they all escaped. In this action game, you must enter the house and put a stop to their rampage- for good.

Icicle Winter Olympics: The 2010 Winter Olympics are to be held at Icicle Village, and you can join in! Enter different events and try to score that elusive gold medal in snowboarding, skiing, ice skating and more!

Joe- Chocobo Champion: Play as Joe as you go from being a rookie in the chocobo racing world to the top man in the business.

Kalm Days: You have just bought a farm on the edge of Kalm Village, but can you make it into a thriving business?

Lucky Sevens: Play Cait Sith’s slot machine- infinitely!

Mog House II: A sequel to the popular Mog House game in Gold Saucer, feed moogles kupo nuts so that they can find their one true love! Look after generations of moogles as they learn to fly and impress prospective mates!

Nibelheim- The History: Play through the “missing” five years in Nibelheim history from the time the town was burned down to its current state.

Odin’s Sacrifice: Learn the history of Odin and how he became sealed in a materia in this tragic visual novel tale.

Priscilla’s Dolphin Training: Play as Priscilla and swim with the dolphins as you train them to perform tricks.

Quadra Slam: Play an exciting card game based on Triple Triad and Tetra Master, but for FF7!

Red XIII’s Tale: Play as Red XIII for five hundred years, ending at the final scene of the original game.

Seventh Heaven: Help make Tifa’s bar a thriving business in this game inspired by the likes of Burger Rush and Chocolatier.

Tifa’s School of Martial Arts: Pull off combos and become a martial artist in this free-roaming beat-’em-up.

Underwater Adventures: Explore the underwater world of FF7 in your submarine in this exciting game.

Vincent’s Valentines: In this alternate universe dating sim, Turks Academy Vincent must win the lovely Lucrecia’s heart before she gets stolen away by Hojo.

Wutai’s War: A tactical RPG based on the war that Godo and the others fought.

X Marks the Spot: Dig up treasures in sites of archaeological interest such as Bone Village. Make your way across the world in search of rare and elusive items buried deep beneath the surface!

Yuffie- Materia Hunter: Play as Yuffie and travel across the world in search of materia.

Zack’s Story: Play as Zack as he joins SOLDIER and tries to reach the highest ranks.

More Kenichi

Yep, that’s pretty much it.

“Do you think it’s more of an Ezo than a Liang?”

The monkeys that survived battle in Heroic Age have created their own how to fight books.

“I never thought I would witness HARD GAY with my own eyes!”

…or alternatively, be terrified of next time.

Kenichi is worried about the size of his Liang.

“I already gave him HARD GAY yesterday.”

“His Liang looked fine to me.”

“I will not rest until it is destroyed!”

“…about HARD GAY.”

“…and if you can Pleasure me, then I will pay you.”

“But if your climax is merely average…”

“…it will be the end of our relationship!”

“I’ve never seen one before!”

“The internet isn’t just about sex!”

“It isn’t?”

“Let’s play Yu-Gi-Oh!”

“I summon the Blue Eyes White Dragon!”

Random Thoughts: Prinny

This week we interview a generic prinny from Disgaea! Prinny, even though you are a downtrodden damned soul, do you feel that you got the last laugh by becoming a recurring presence in various Nippon Ichi games?

Dood, everyone loves prinnies! If only Etna didn’t keep taking our pay from all those games, we’d be rich!

What is it like, working under Etna?

It’s hell, dood! We work day and night for a pittance, and if we’re lucky, we don’t get exploded before the night of the red moon.

Do you get any of the proceeds from the sale of prinny plushies?

Plushies? Those are real prinnies, dood!

And finally, what do Celestian prinnies look like?

They’re white, dood, with feathery wings and haloes.

This Week in Anime

Mobile HORSE spreads to a new town.

Vegetables make a comeback after fruit domination.

All generics are seated together for convenience.

“Hey, are you eating an apple?”

“It’s my apple- stay away from it!”

“Fine, then- I’ll just make do with some naked men and this DOG.”

Fat cat is revealed to be an impostor after it deflates.

Ah, good old tea, which we English sup whilst visiting libraries and waltzing at balls.

Nuts begin their campaign.

HARD GAY corner: Heat Guy J

Daisuke Aurora first learned HARD GAY at the hands of his brother Shun and old man Shogun, but in later years, their busy schedules prevented them from having the time to service him. Fearful of having to rely on Hyper Self Pleasure, Daisuke took on a robotic lover, J, tuned to perfectly fulfil his every desire. Even when J became damaged or started to malfunction, Daisuke insisted that he be fixed, fearful of losing his ideal lover.\r\n

Thanks to the experience gained with J, Daisuke became the envy of many a man, and soon gained other lovers in the form of older man Edmundo, bishie mafia leader Clair Leonelli and Boma, a man with the face and appetites of a beast. Nonetheless, Daisuke still longed for the strong embrace of his brother, and was understandably upset to learn that not only was Shun the main villain, but that he had turned to STRAIGHT with his assistant Phia- at one point. In an attempt to show his brother the power of HARD GAY, Daisuke organised a group session with all of his lovers, even including J, who Shun had tried to reprogram for STRAIGHT. In the end, Shun was shown the error of his ways, but after tiring of his current lovers, Daisuke decided to leave the city in search of fresh Liangs.

OST spotlight: Avenger

Ali Project are often accused of being a one-trick pony, but this opportunity to provide the music for an entire series proved that when they want to, they can actually compose different themes. Although their gothic and borderline discordant style permeates the entire OST, there is still plenty of variety packed in, from fast and energetic tracks that wouldn’t be out of place in a platform or action game, to slower and more melancholy themes. The only real weak piece on the whole CD is the vocal track “MOTHER”, an almost painful slow and dull theme that lasts for over five minutes.

Notable tracks: Gesshoku Grand Guignol, Reinforcement of Happiness, Babylon Café, Death Becoming Unavailable, Taming the Young Woman, Puppeteer, Trompe-l”oeil labyrinth, The Season of Hell, Mirai no Eve

Mini-editorial: Tackling depression in entertainment- who should be saved?

Depression and entertainment hardly seem like comfortable bedfellows, but in the likes of NHK, we see characters who are suffering from various related problems that prevent them from interacting “normally” with society. The purpose of their inclusion may be for dark comedy or to view their salvation, but ultimately, how should it be handled in the long term? In real life, such problems may take months or even years of treatment, but the good thing about anime (or indeed any form of fiction) is that it doesn’t have to be realistic- it is far more satisfying to see the characters improve over the course of the series than to see them stuck in the same old rut.

Admittedly, I haven’t read the last few chapters yet, but NHK was a major offender in this regard, keeping its characters sequestered in misery and despair long after the humour of the situation had worn away. Similarly, Eva, whilst admittedly intended to reflect Anno’s own state of depression in the past, failed to “save” its characters, making them annoying and repetitive instead of people whose journey endears them to us.

In Your Reflection

This week we have a head-to-head between two silver-haired juveniles- .hack//SIGN’s Tsukasa and Get Backers’ Makubex. Both are trapped in a virtual world of sorts and aren’t particularly keen on the company of others, but each ends up as part of a group of friends.

Amusing Search Terms

This week on Amusing Search Terms, someone wonders “El Cazador yuri?”. Another person is more confident, and insists that “El Cazador de la Bruja is yuri”. They must be hoping to link up with the “lusty lesbians”, who were also on the hunt for “yuri romeo x Juliet”, “the yuri & friends incest english ver”, “yuri+manga+sex+incest” and “yuri incest”.

what romeo x juliet character are you: You are Benvolio, a person with so much time on their hands that they have to look up “what Romeo X Juliet character are you?”

“saiunkoku monogatari”"2″: For some reason putting the 2 in quotation marks amused me.

Koutetsu Sangokushi dub: Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself? It isn’t even licensed yet.

“utawarerumono” AND “Download”AND”Direct: Some people just want everything, don’t they?

rpg games were there is a fat ginga boy: What?

the best of gay: Is this an album, like “The Best Dance Music Ever… Part II”?

Amusing Spam

"scary movie reviews...

It can on occasion get bothersome to extract the insightful ''horror movie'' work from the dreadful...."

I agree; where do you begin?

"whether all for you well�  

� a lot of useful information, thank you to you� � �  much scorched tem here�  spam all right I went away to meeting�  

key mesage for you�  

sex group link for you"

I couldn’t follow all of this, but at least they admit it was spam.

"Rafael...

I think this post is relevant but slightly biased & I would like to see more equal information..."

That’s the last time I get Rafael to write anything for my blog.

"The resourceful thing to do is to do your statistical study efficiently...."

I agree.

"Elk and Bear Hunting Tips...

� 

We are extremely thrilled that you''ve found this webpage dealing with hunting guides...."

I’m really happy too; at last I can begin my new hobby of hunting the numerous elk and bear native to the United Kingdom.

"click here...

It is tiresome attempting to total the hours we have spent looking up fx chat room pages...."

Tell me about it.

"Best site for meeting people for sex! 

A lot of local girls need sex right here"

They do? Shame I’m not into HARD YURI, then.

Also, my blog is now over six months old; it hardly feels like I have been doing this for half a year.

Fruits Basket II: Tohru saves the world
If 136 chapters of Furuba weren’t enough for you, then fear not, because Furuba II is exactly what you’ve been waiting for! Tohru, the girl who can solve anyone’s problems, is set to return in this sequel, which sees her resolve to put the world itself to rights in her most ambitious plan yet! With her pure heart and sound advice intact, Tohru will talk to each and every generic person she meets, cleansing their hearts of even the smallest and most trivial of afflictions! To give you an idea of what to expect, we have summarise some of the early chapters below.

1. Tohru meets a woman who stubbed her toe several years ago and helps her to get over the painful memory of what happened.
2. Tohru locates trios of evil lesbians and transforms them into benign lesbians.
3. Tohru rescues a cat that gets stuck up in a tree and helps it find meaning in its life.
4. Tohru sorts out a squabble between two siblings over who ate the last chocolate biscuit.
5. Tohru gathers together world leaders for a summit to discuss world peace.

All this and more can be found in the new one thousand chapter epic- look forward to it!

Kenichi 6

Kenichi tries to argue that HARD GAY is not for him.

The others tell him it is too late to go back to being straight.

When a bearded man tells you to prepare yourself, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s going to happen next.

After that little experience, Kenichi is an instant convert to the ways of HARD GAY.

“Come here and let me feel your Zhuge Liang.”

The HARD GAY life includes weekend trysts…

…not to mention intense training…

…and last but not least, intense man-on-man action.

Short Parody: Death Note part II

Light and L work together on the investigation team.

L: So, what do you think, Light-kun?

(Light: Justice mode!)

The background disappears and Light turns red.

(Light: Gwakaka, foolish L, I will easily outwit you, for I am justice!).

Light returns to normal and replies to L’s question.

L: Hmm, I see.

(L: Justice mode!)

The background disappears and L turns blue.

(L: Kira, you will never outwit me, for I am justice!)

L returns to normal.

Souichiro Yagami: My team would like to help.

L: I’m sorry, but your team is too generic to do much more than donkey work.

Matsuda: All right, I love donkey work!

Mogi: Quiet, Matsuda.

Matsuda: At least I get dialogue and a personality.

Light: Shut up, you fools, none of you are worthy of even pursuing the great Kira! Uh, I mean, that’s what I would say if I were Kira, which I’m most certainly not.

Matsuda: I don’t think Light-kun is Kira.

(L: Hmm, I guess there’s a 1% possibility of him being Kira.)

Weekly Awards

Apples of the week: The mighty apple empire is spreading even as we speak, so much so that my current MSN nickname is ‘Piney Apple’. This week, the apple influence has been traced to Suzuka, Sailor Moon and Master Keaton.

Fat cat honourable mention: Despite his short puffy tail, Gorou from Suzuka deserves to be added to the roster of notable fat cats.

Most fun parody: An excuse for me to mention Chevalier; never has writing parodies (both normal and alternate) been this enjoyable.

Alcohol of the week: A special award for Master Keaton, a series seemingly drenched in alcoholic beverages.

Figure review: Xenosaga ⅛ KOS-MOS

Alter’s KOS-MOS was first released at the end of 2005, but thanks to my laxity in actually ordering one, I missed out on the first release. After cursing my bad luck, I wasted no time in pre-ordering one once the re-release was announced, only to become indecisive as to whether I actually wanted her or not. Fortunately, on arrival, the figure proved good enough to keep, and she has since occupied a place on my shelf.

Despite looking like a little like a bondage queen (we all know Shion created her for HARD YURI), KOS-MOS is a surprisingly attractive and well designed figure in real life, something none of the generic photos really reflect. Although it isn’t clear from this image, KOS-MOS’ hair is actually a translucent blue, whilst the base on my version isn’t the clear round one, but a rectangular white block which is obtrusive enough to dwarf the figure a little.

Overall, a surprisingly good figure with a nice dynamic pose- maybe not one for everyone, but an essential purchase for Xenosaga fans.

HARD GAY Corner: Star Ocean 2
Some may think that SO2 is not the most obvious choice for this feature, but for those who can read between the lines, it is simply bursting with HARD GAY. The main couple of the series are Claude and Dias, both of whom only regard Rena as a way for the two of them to get together. Note how Dias is always interested in Claude’s swordsmanship, not to mention that effeminate voice that says “Claude has advanced” every time he levels up. Unfortunately, Claude will not be HARD GAY enough for Dias until he has advanced to Level 255, but Dias is a patient man.

Meanwhile, both Ashton and Bowman are clearly interested in HARD GAY, but as at least one ending shows, they are forced to get together when Claude refuses to give his heart to anyone but Dias.

*NEW* Licensing Reactions

In all honesty, I can’t say I believe anyone cares what I think about certain series being licensed, but when has that ever stopped me before?

• Death Note (Viz): Hardly a surprise, but now it’s official, and we’ll even be able to buy subbed downloads…only I’ve no doubt most will either acquire them for free from less official sources, or save their money for the actual DVDs. I can’t say I care greatly about the Death Note anime; I’m already buying the manga, and that’s enough for me.
• Rozen Maiden (Geneon): Now, here’s a trickier one…I’m certainly not as big a fan of Rozen Maiden as I used to be, but I’m still tempted to get the at least first season on DVD. Maybe I’ll rewatch it and then decide; still, this pretty much guarantees that there will be a cheap US release of the OST as well. I won’t pay £15 for the OST, but £6 is a different matter.

Mini-rant: OMG it’s licensed!!
And now for a rant about the flip side of licensing; the inevitable outcry from the fans as they worry about their free fansubs drying up because some evil American company wants to get rich off poor destitute anime fans. Now, I’ll admit that it can be annoying to be in the middle of a series as excellent as Chevalier and have regular releases threatened or disrupted, but come on, when have we ever gone without? Even shows as undeservedly high profile as Naruto and Bleach can still be acquired without too much difficulty- yes, many groups will drop it, but you can bet that there will still be an underground release with English subs courtesy of “Anonymous”.

Of course, beyond the basic reaction, we have to have the usual “US companies mess it up” or “the English dub will be crap” complaints, despite the fact that the vast majority of DVDs are uncut and have an accurate subtitled translation- if you don’t like the English dub, don’t listen to it. Contrary to popular belief, including an English dub hardly affects the price that much, and if you’re grubbing around for such thin excuses not to pay for a DVD, it’s hardly likely you’re going to buy it anyway.

In the end, it’s not that I actually care whether people are downloading anime or what they choose to acquire- it’s simply a case of getting annoyed at the repetitive whining every single time a big title is licensed for US release. Just learn to use a site other than AnimeSuki and I guarantee you too can continue your piracy unabated.

In Your Reflection
This week in Tuesday Rumble, IYR has something a little different- the first four of the five ‘Pillar Bishies’ (number five has yet to be revealed), the bishiest males in all anime-dom, and the poster boys for HARD GAY.

First up is Ludwig (Lui) from Meine Liebe, the cool and calm one who may be antisocial, but is the only character with the brains to save the day.

Next on the list is Balmung from .hack; he may have a headband, but his white hair and wings make him more than worthy. It’s a shame that he doesn’t look so good in real life.

Third is Haruka of Tactics- with his dark hair, suit and optional wings, he is surely far worthier than his evil master Kantarou.

The latest addition to the set is Shi Ryuuki from SaiMono; although Seiran and Sakujun almost joined him, in the end I felt that their anime forms let them down. An honourable mention also goes to Ayumu Narumi from Spiral.

Amusing Search Terms

hack audition, audition sea perfect hack, hacker Audition, audition sea hack, hack AUDITION, \”audition hacker\”, Audition hacker, hacker audition, hack pre audition

Grunty, .hack//: I’m just happy that other people like grunties.

Rough S&M: I can’t even offer smooth S&M.

nayuki is evil: yes, she is- she poisoned Makoto and discredited Mai through subliminal messages.

cubis flame: As far as I’m aware, Cubis is a Flash game where you match up groups of three cubes.

mai otome nude

ginga+densetsu+weed+plush: People often look for this- do such plushies exist?

http : // i.am /shirogane: I.am/not

\”BUSOU RENKIN AFTER\”

you toube, YOU TOUBE: poor you toube, it is nothing compared to the hack audition wave.

new animes shonen coming in 2007: Don’t know, don’t care.

Marimite rap: “Hey everyone, let’s get down, with Yumi, Sachiko and the crowd, Marimite rap, for you and me, feel the beat of HARD YURI”.

which utawarerumono character are you te: I am Karura.

fruits basket 136 is good: Isn’t that a matter of opinion?

naked \”chocotto sister\”, \”chokotto sister\” naked OR nudity: Naked or nudity, I’ll take either.

girls sticking bowling pin in them: This scares me.

whai is climax:…but this is equally terrifying.

mai hime episode 25 script form: Hmm, like I would ever be bothered to do that.

doujin school rumble: More doujin searches.

jeremy kyle show: How does my blog get clicked on in a search for a UK chat show?

azure dress up games: No dress up games here.

how can you find out the cycle of the mo: Moon!

pleasure and pain manga: Many manga series are painful.

\”Akane I can\’t\”: Don’t do it, Kazuya, her Otome-hood is at stake.

saber is mine: You’re welcome to her.

\”naked underage girl\”

*NEW* Amusing Spam

In between pages of ads for Spanish sex websites and offers of cheap prescription drugs, there are a few gems of dubious coherence. For obvious reasons, links have been removed and the more tasteless expletives have been edited.

good blog is dead blog:-) long live!: yes, this makes sense.

very best idea make rules time!: I really think this should be an Engrish slogan, or maybe even a mecha attack.

This is a top gouge beaten path jogger. The midsole, which is svabodu belarusii urgent cushioning and solidity layer of direction shoes, usually wears out beforehand the outsole.

nice shoes! wanna f***? :))) gay pron I’ll miss you :))): Flattery will get you everywhere?

I love my child .But i still would get angry: Me too…not that I have a child.

hello. it’s a nice day for your ideas and our money: I don’t care about your money, only mine.

very good post from our team: I didn’t know I was anyone’s team.

Stick with the basketball, but keep your options open. Not to jinks you, but you could get hurt: Yes, blogging is much more dangerous than basketball.