Although I firmly hope that I can find time for it, there may not be a Tuesday Rumble next week, since on the 30^th I should be travelling over a hundred miles from home for an interview (if only my laptop had a working battery so I could use it on the way).

Death Note A-K
First there was L, then we discovered that L had been training two potential successors- Mello (M) and Near (N). As some might have wondered, however, did anything come before L, or did the dynasty randomly start in the middle of the alphabet? Fortunately, for everyone who has ever wondered what came before L, a new series, Death Note A-K, is finally here to fill in the blanks. This 77 volume series tells the story of the first great detective, A, and his successors, all the way up to L’s mentor K. Each of them has a dull and routine fascinating tale to tell; each of which has absolutely nothing to do with the titular Death Note, instead owing more to the overused crime drama. Learn about C foiled a great jewellery heist, or peruse H’s daring solution to a hostage situation- it’s all ready and waiting for you within the pages of Death Note A-K! Look forward to it!

Star Ocean 2 Expansion Pack 1
Star Ocean 2 was a good game, but nonetheless it did feel a little rushed towards the end. In Star Ocean 2 Expansion Pack 1, the game finally gets all the additions it needs to not just be a great game, but to achieve the heights of ‘best game ever’.

• Dias is now a useful character, just as his bishie design dictates he should be.
• Giveaway and the port on the first continent now have side quests that give them a purpose. The existence of Noel’s second house is explained.
• Fienal is a more interesting final boss location which is completely devoted to Indalecio. The other Wise Men (particularly Cyril) now get their own arcs.
• Expel and Energy Nede are not the only two accessible worlds.
• More skills are available, whilst characters do not possess skills that are useless to them (e.g. non-magic users cannot level up magic skills like Motormouth).
• The familiar ability now allows the calling of animals other than birds; for example, one can summon a dog or wolf to fight alongside the party in battle.
• A bonus disc, Star Ocean B-Side, enables one to play as the Wise Men and attempt to destroy the universe.

Short Parody: Higurashi
Keiichi: I wonder who’s behind it all.

Takano: Gwakaka, I shall kill everyone! Er, I mean, I am not suspicious at all.

Takano stabs Tomitake just as everyone looks away, and then puts on an innocent expression as she exaggeratedly hides the knife behind her back.

Mion: It really is a mystery.

Takano: Why don’t you all just die so that I can be the main character?

Satoko: What was that, Takano-san?

Takano: Er, I said, “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to meet the main characters.”

Takano trips a passing generic, causing him to fall and break his neck.

Shion: Who cares about that, let’s just visit the fun-fun torture chamber.

Rika: I know who it is. Here’s a clue- she’s an older woman with blonde hair.

Everyone turns to Takano, who is busy strangling Irie. She quickly stops when she realises everyone is looking.

Takano: Hello, everyone- it’s a nice day, isn’t it?

Rena: I still can’t get it- can you give us another clue, Rika?

Ginga Nagareboshi Gin 6
Daisuke realises that no one can comprehend the love he and Gin share.

Maybe some Bow would show the level of their commitment.

Daisuke uses advanced persuasion techniques in an attempt to get the Bow.

Generic Rifle just isn’t enough these days.

Perhaps HARD GAY master Hidetoshi can help.

Grandpa explains how difficult it is to get the Villagers to try HARD GAY.

Daisuke decides the time has come to get his own Bow instead of always handling that of others.

“Foolish boy, you are too young for HARD GAY.”

“It’s too late, for I have already been trained in the ways of HARD GAY.”

“I was holding onto something- I don’t usually call it a promise, though.”

HARD GAY feels so right.

Weekly Awards…

Quote of the Week: “I love cats. Cats have vital nutrients that we need.” courtesy of Vampire Princess Miyu TV.

Fruit of the Week: The evil apple empire is still expanding its influence with an appearance in Koi Kaze, but SaiMono introduces a fresh new contender in the form of the grape.

Mushroom of the Week: What is it with anime and strange mushrooms? In the past we’ve seen them in Mai-Otome and SaiMono, but now one makes an appearance in Nodame Cantabile. As if that weren’t suspicious enough, Anton has been doing a good trade in sweet potatoes, a key component of Sunrise’s beloved sweet potato dango…

HARD GAY Corner: Final Fantasy VII
From an early age, Cloud set his sights on becoming a HARD GAY man, but when he tried to enter the inner circle, they told him that his ‘equipment’ was simply too small. Unwilling to recall such humiliation, Cloud chose to cover up his past, and took the first opportunity to dispatch his well-endowed friend Zack and take over his life.

Now equipped with a massive ‘sword’, Cloud began the next phase of his search- the quest for a HARD GAY partner. Unfortunately, it was not to be an easy task; not only did women start chasing after him, but the male selection consisted of the likes of Barret (too rough in bed, and still hung up on his old lover Dyne) and Cid (a man who prefers machines to real men). With this in mind, Cloud set sights on the most HARD GAY man of his world- Sephiroth. With blade work that was second to none, Sephiroth was infamous for his intense HARD GAY- so much so, in fact, that few of his lovers ever survived their encounters.

For many months, Cloud chased Sephiroth to the ends of the earth, but each time they met, Sephiroth deemed that he was not yet HARD GAY enough to be worthy of his idol’s bed. Nonetheless, Sephiroth gave Cloud plenty of practise, and even killed off the troublesome Aeris so that she could not come between them. Finally, once Cloud had met his maximum potential, Sephiroth promised to wait for him at the North Crater, where they went on to have an explosive HARD GAY encounter that ended up killing Sephiroth himself. Although it meant the end of his life, Sephiroth was heard to exclaim in his dying words that he was happy to have finally found a partner who could satisfy his needs.

OST spotlight: Utawarerumono Game OST
My desire for this OST arose from just one track- the opening theme, “A Song Given Voice”. From the moment I heard it on the anime trailer, I fell in love with the song, a melodic wind and percussion piece that perfectly captures the action and fantasy that should be in True Uta. In comparison, the rest of the OST is a mix of slow lullabies, standard battle music and that cheerfully repetitive style of track that seems obligatory for visual novels; even though it isn’t great, it is oddly catchy.

Mini-rant: Stop stealing the spotlight, you spiky-haired moron!
It is every boy’s dream to become the destined spiky-haired who saved the world (and quite possibly the dream of many men who would be too embarrassed to admit it), but unfortunately that fact comes with a price- we end up with an excess of such destined heroes in both anime and games. Whilst irksome, the presence of such characters could be endured if not for one thing- the fact that the more interesting supporting characters always get sidelined.

Let’s start with female characters; much as they make a certain breed of viewer insecure, I love to see strong female characters (preferably ones who aren’t putting up a front until they can fall into the arms of a REAL MAN) in anime, but when it comes to shounen series, they are almost nonexistent. The likes of Rukia and Tokiko seem promising enough, but within a handful of episodes, the male character has not only surpassed their years of training a few days, but has proven himself to always know better than his female companion. Whilst she ends up as a fairly puny weakling who always makes the wrong decision, Spiky-Hair need only grab his oversized blade and protect his fair maiden from all but the most generic of villains.

It isn’t just women who suffer, however; rival males are equally likely to fall to this curse. They may initially be more powerful than the hero, but unlike him, they do not have the unlimited potential that makes him factors of ten stronger than they can ever hope to become. They have more interesting personalities and better character designs, but no matter how hard they try, the powers of destiny and friendship will never be on their side.

Brainless and predictable as it often is, I can’t help wanting to watch shounen series sometimes (provided they aren’t some 300+ episode ‘lets run the story into the ground until no one cares’ series), but the prominence of Spiky-Hair is a fact that is always bound to ruin my experience. Crude as it is, I would enjoy Busou Renkin much more if Tokiko could hold her own alongside Kazuki; after all, isn’t a blue haired girl with a Valkyrie Skirt far more appealing than Generic Hero #89251 and his lance?

In Your Reflection

This week’s head to head is between two semi-bishie teachers- Isaac Cavendish of Meine Liebe, and Kanazawa from La Corda d’Oro. Both are laid back smokers who are divorced from the main bishie group, but nonetheless they each have an important role to play in the ‘plot’ of their respective series.

Fashion Police

Having been inspired by Hazel’s post on the new and old bishies of Angelique, I’ve decided it’s about time some other poorly attired anime characters were placed under scrutiny for their dubious tastes in clothing. First up is Shounen Onmyouji’s Guren.

Guren, whatever you were thinking when you chose this outfit, we can only despair that you weren’t thinking something else. Despite having sufficient material to cover his body, Guren has chosen to pointlessly attach it all to his waist, leaving his chest, upper legs and feet exposed- don’t bother with gloves and greaves until you’ve got the basics covered! His taste in accessories is also suspect; I can live with the headband since it performs a vital function and is reasonably unobtrusive, but the necklace looks like chunks of wood all connected together, and the floating white scarf defies all purpose.

Fashion Sense: F

Amusing Search Terms

Audition hack, hack audition, audition hacker, load hack perfect audition: still on top.

Rough S&M: a new regular?

you toube, your toube: this will never go away.

obscure game: uh, Traffic Department 2192?

chevalier 12 movie: Chevalier 12 is so important, it gets its own movie version.

“stealing their uniforms”: hands off.

RMXP resources Harvest Moon Rip: Anton’s Life: the RPG.

“A CHANGE OF PACE” wordpress.com: uh…okay…

hack Episodes cover: Yes, the episode audio should be covered with my parody track.

alice 19th episode 1: you may have to wait indefinitely for this series to be made into an anime.

hotaru game gay downloads: this makes perfect sense.

“needing a bathroom” anime episode: How tasteful.

rmxp side view extend anime script: I was with you until ‘extend anime’.

Amusing Spam

“Is that old dresser an antique? How much is it worth? Find out now.”

“i love antiques too!”

I can now exclusively reveal that the reason my blog is so HARD GAY is because I have Lui chained up in my basement.

As the days became depressingly short and winter tightened its grip upon the land, I had the great idea of summarising all the 2006 series I watched in one great ‘Annual Round-Up’; hardly an original idea since everyone likes to do it, but nonetheless a course I became determined to take. Little did I realise that such an innocent decision would lead to a massive fifteen page document that took over a month to compile; in fact, if I had any sense, I would take the lazy route of posting this over several days in order to avoid having to write anything else for a week or so. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, depending on your perspective), I’d rather just include it all in one guide so that I can get on with writing newer and more interesting things to spice up the inevitably dull and grey January.

I shall also take this opportunity to thank necromancer, whose screencaps made many parody posts and Tuesday Rumble sections possible, as well as my blogging ‘sempai’, who can identify himself if he wishes.

For once, red is not for generally poor series, just for the ones I dropped before the end of their run (mostly because they were generally poor). Series in blue are my top picks for the year. Links lead to earlier reviews, rants and parodies of the series in question.

STILL RUNNING FROM 2005
I’m only including series I was still watching in the New Year; several others had long since been dropped by this point.

Ginga Densetsu Weed
A bloodier canine version of a shounen action series, Ginga Densetsu Weed follows the adventures of young dog Weed as he recruits allies to fight evil dog Hougen. It ranges from dull and predictable to laughable and predictable, but the parody potential and novelty of having dogs as the main characters conspired to keep me watching this right through to the end.

Final words: It’s not good to be a generic brown dog; you always get killed.

Jigoku Shoujo
When it first started, Jigoku seemed like a compelling series, the tale of people driven to such extremes that they would accept eternal damnation in order to remove their tormenters. Unfortunately, it all became a little ridiculous and far too repetitive after about four episodes- not only did the basic concept of each episode lose a lot in the execution, but there are only so many times you can watch tales of revenge before getting thoroughly bored.

Final words: Revenge is a dish best served sparingly.

Karin
Karin is a strange series; it’s too tasteless and generic to even be mediocre, but at the same time it feels like it could be good- only I can’t really quantify just what is needed to make it better. The tale of a ‘blood-making’ vampire and her slow romance with a human boy could at least have made for light entertainment, but the inclusion of irritating supporting characters and the gimmick of having blood spurt out of Karin’s nose with alarming regularity are more than a little off-putting.

Final words: No, just no.

Mai-Otome

It’s hard to believe, but there was a time when I thought Mai-Otome was actually going somewhere; an illusion that was soon dispelled as the series moved into its closing episodes. Despite the numerous flaws of this series, it somehow remains memorable, burned into the brain by hype, wasted potential and the presence of fat grey cat Mikoto.

Final words: Fat cats may improve a series, but even their furry bulk cannot compensate for a lack of plot.

Mushishi
Although I took my time starting on Mushishi, I’m glad I finally got around to watching it, since it turned out to be one of the better series of recent times. An absorbing and atmospheric folk tale-eqsue collection of stories featuring the laid-back Ginko and the myriad strange phenomena he encounters, Mushishi is recommended viewing for anyone with even a passing enjoyment of fantasy, drama and slice-of-life.

Final words: If your memory is bad, blame it on the mushi.

Noein
When it first swept onto our screens, Noein seemed to be the sci-fi series that we had all been waiting for- a mixture of complex storyline, grandiose action scenes and alternate worlds that would surely only improve as it went on…or would it? Unfortunately, the studio was so busy spending money on CG house shots that it forgot that the series actually needed a proper plot (not to mention decent animation), and so by the end, Noein became little more than a pretentious but ultimately empty series that never lived up to its early promise.

Final words: The quantum mechanics of Noein is not clever- if you want clever, then come to some theoretical physics lectures.

Rozen Maiden Traumend
Given the excellence of the first series, another season of Rozen Maiden was highly anticipated, but somehow it just couldn’t live up to what had come before. Rearranging and diverging from the manga material led to some continuity issues with the first season, whilst the plot itself had numerous pacing problems. Despite promising that the battle royale Alice Game would be getting underway right from the start, it took nine episodes to get down to business, after which the writers chickened out of going the whole way so that things could be left open for a third season. Even the new characters introduced in this season were less than inspiring, although overall the series was not a bad experience, just one that did not live up to expectations.

Final words: If you thought dolls were scary before, wait until you watch this.

Shakugan no Shana

A tale of swords and sorcery mixed with high school romance and comedy, Shana proved to be a solid enough source of light entertainment, but unfortunately turned out to be lacking beyond that. Disappointing villains and a story that proved to be flawed on close inspection ultimately prevented the Shana from reaching the heights it initially promised- whilst by no means a bad series, it was certainly in need of improvement in key areas.

Final words: urusei, urusei, urusei!

WINTER 2005/6

Ayakashi
A collection of three separate folk tales collected across eleven episodes, Ayakashi promised period horror, but in the end, it brought only contemporary boredom. What would have been perfectly enjoyable as a three episode OVA became drawn out and monotonous in TV series form, so much so that watching it was something of a struggle.

Final words: Rap OPs never work- no really, they don’t.

Binchou-tan
Having convinced myself that Binchou-tan would be sickeningly cute, I avoided watching it for a while, only to predictably regret that when it turned out to be far better than I had imagined. A series that really does embody ‘simple and sweet’ Binchou-tan is a delightful slice-of-life tale that really needs more episodes.

Final words: Unexpectedly worthy.

Ergo Proxy
To be fair, I only watched a single episode of Ergo Proxy, but I never could bring myself to continue with it. Despite the echoes of Texhnolyze, the fact I neither knew nor cared what was going on in the first episode was not much of an incentive to continue- the animation may have been slick, but that could hardly make up for the lack of comprehensibility.

Final words: When people say ‘hard sci-fi’ they must mean pretentious, nonsensical crap.

Fate/Stay Night

Admit it, you want a Caster figure too.

There was a time when Fate seemed filled with potential; yes, it had a spiky-haired hero, but it also had the incredibly worthy Rin, not to mention the prospect of a hard fought battle of wits and strength between legendary heroes and their Masters. Unfortunately, Fate never lived up to its promise, instead turning out to be a combination of insipid characters, flimsy story, and Shirou’s harem exploits.

Final words: I will make ‘True Fate’ one day.

Hanbun no Tsuki ga Noboru Sora
A short and sweet hospital-based tale of drama and romance, HanTsuki was an almost overlooked series that turned out to be a hidden gem. Within its six episodes, the series managed to weave a tale that was bittersweet, heart-warming and entirely worthy.

Final words: Natsumi is evil.

Meine Liebe Wieder
Despite promising something in the way of a plot this time, the second season of Meine Liebe turned out to be an inferior rehash of the first, featuring increased angst, more HARD GAY, additional characters and Beruze’s latest puppet duke attempting to take the throne of Kuchen. It wasn’t bad, but it could have been so much more.

Final words: Ludwig-sama is an A-ranked bishie.

REC
An oddly addictive series about the romance between a voice actress and a salaryman, REC is enjoyable while it lasts, but is over all too quickly. In retrospect, it was perhaps a bit too angst-filled, but it made for an entertaining experience while it lasted.

Final words: Umai-ki!

Shinigami no Ballad

Yet another brief series, this time about a pure white shinigami and the people she meets, SnB was filled with character pieces, but was oddly short on death. Whilst it never really had the impact that it could have done, SnB was an enjoyable series that didn’t overstay its welcome.

Final words: The RPG episode was the best one, but the series overall gains points for the winged talking cat.

Pale Cocoon
Having been told that Pale Cocoon was somewhat incomprehensible, I went into it expecting not to understand anything, only to be pleasantly surprised at how much I could actually grasp (of course, the accompanying pdf file helped). A brief yet worthy glimpse into the far future, Pale Cocoon may be short on explanations, but is nonetheless a worthy snapshot of a distant era.

Final words: Watch it now, it won’t take long.

Hellsing Ultimate
It was the event that all Hellsing fans had been waiting for- a more accurate adaptation of the manga material that would surely blow them all away. Unfortunately, having realised that I really didn’t like Hellsing all that much, this wasn’t something I was inclined to keep following.

Final words: When are we going to get a good vampire show?

SPRING 2006

.hack//Roots
Hard as it is to believe now, I was actually looking forward to .hack//Roots- I was in the middle of my Item Completion obsession phase, and somehow I convinced myself that it would be a series that married the addictive qualities of SIGN with the action and faster pace of Legend of the Twilight. After several episodes of deluding myself, however, I came to realise that Roots was not so much a case of a train wreck as of the train simply not leaving the station in the first place. Characters came and went, but the plot never arrived- in the end, it was just too boring for me to watch anymore.

Final words: The origin of the screencap parody format.

Ah! My Goddess: Sorezore no Tsubasa
I’ve said it on more than one occasion, but a second season was just too much for the Ah! My Goddess- how much can you actually squeeze out of a harem story about a regular guy living with goddesses? Admittedly, it did seem like a bit of harmless light entertainment for the first few episodes, but it soon fell into the realms of the utterly boring, especially when Peorth arrived.

Final words: Sometimes, less is more.

Air Gear
I have to admit that Oh Great’s artwork is good, but since I’m not particularly interested in nipple shots, ridiculously oversized breasts or Bob Makihara’s penis, the actual content of his manga does very little for me. An unholy fusion of Tenjho Tenge, Ikki Tousen, Beyblade and Shaman King, Air Gear is the tale of spiky-haired Ikki, his buxom companions, and the rollerblading sport of Air Trak- or to put it more succinctly, it’s complete dross. No matter how much curiosity compels you to watch this, take my advice and give it a wide berth.

Final words: With breasts like that, those girls must get backache.

Aria the Natural

The first season of Aria was excellent, but Natural goes one better by doubling the episode count and giving us a full 26 episodes of sweet and heart-warming gondola life on the planet of Aqua. From the beautiful setting to eponymous fat cat President Aria, everything about the series is right on the money in terms of creating a simple yet absorbing world. Bring on season three.

Final words: Punyu!

Disgaea
Since RPG-based series are rarely worth watching, I wasn’t really planning to investigate Disgaea- at least until I watched the trailer. An ironically hilarious take on the RPG world, Disgaea’s trailer promised much, but the actual series itself delivered all too little. As it turned out, the reason the trailer was so good was because the entire series budget had been spent on it- meaning that the episodes themselves were poorly animated cyclical repeats of the same tired and worn jokes.

Final words: Pizza in the face? Excuse me while I try to force a laugh…oh wait, I can’t.

Full Metal Panic: The Second Raid Tessa OVA
Much as I like Tessa, this OVA didn’t really do much for me; aside from a select handful which hit the mark, most of the jokes fell completely flat. It’s something you watch for completion rather than enjoyment.

Final words: Dull, dull, dull.

The Gargoyle of the Yoshinagas
The tale of the Yoshinaga family’s animated stone guardian, Gargoyle may seem like a kid’s show at first glance, but it is nonetheless a highly entertaining story. In Gargoyle’s hands, everything from battles between stone monsters to talking to flowers takes on a new vitality. It’s funny, off-kilter, and eminently worthy.

Final words: All hail Gar-san.

Gintama
I only watched the first twenty-five minutes of Gintama, but what I saw didn’t really click with me. Apparently it’s meant to be a tongue-in-cheek approach to Shounen Jump, but I just couldn’t force myself to pay attention to it.

Final words: I liked that large white animal, but nothing else drew me in.

Good Witch of the West – Astraea Testament
When it first started, Good Witch seemed to be the fantasy series we had all been waiting for; a fairytale of intrigue and romance set in a magical kingdom. Unfortunately, within the space of a few episodes, Good Witch had become so bogged down with different plotlines that it was difficult to tell where it was supposed to be going. After continuing in this manner all the way to the end, Good Witch left viewers with plenty of story threads, but not much in the way of coherence- maybe the manga is better, but I’m not about to risk wasting money on it.

Final thoughts: It’s the sample book of plot directions.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni
It may have started as a tense psychological horror, but after the first few episodes Higurashi’s main draw was its sheer gore factor. A somewhat inconsistent series that mixed moments with greatness with more pedestrian sections, Higurashi may have only covered six of the eight game arcs, but spoilers revealed that the solution to the mystery was too obvious to be satisfying.

Final words: “It wasn’t me, I am not evil or suspicious at all.”

Hime-sama Goyoujin
Truth be told, I shouldn’t really be writing about Hime-sama- I only saw about eight minutes of the first episode, and I had so little clue as to what was going on that I couldn’t bring myself to watch anymore.

Final words: Utterly confusing.

Jyu-oh-sei
One of a rare few series which I picked up months after dropping it, Jyu-oh-sei made good parody material, but had little worth as far as entertainment went. The bulk of the series, which saw cycle-wear model Thor stranded on jungle planet Chimera, was average and predictable, but was nonetheless sheer excellence when compared to the laughably ridiculous ending. A rushed story with a nonsensical ending- if I hadn’t wanted to parody it, I would never have watched past episode four.

Final words: If you want to attain at least a shred of credibility, magical DNA is not the way to go.

Kamisama Kazoku

At first glance, Kamisama Kazoku looked to be the spiritual successor of Kamichu- a sweet and simple series about a youthful god. In fact, to borrow a phrase from a lecturer of mine, Kamisama was a very different animal- a series that ranged from juvenile to infantile in its fanservice laden lack of hilarity. After struggling all the way to the third story arc by virtue of the show’s worthiest character- Tenko- I realised that I simply could not take anymore and crumbled a mere four episodes before the end.

Final words: Look, Mama is naked in an apron!

Keroro Gunso: the Movie
Series-based anime movies are as formulaic as they come, and unfortunately the Keroro movie is no exception. There are a few entertaining moments, but not really enough to justify spending an hour of your life watching a story that has been done a thousand times before.

Final words: Giant Keroro is the worthiest aspect of this movie.

Kiba
Like Tokyo Underground, Kiba is one of those series that just seems like an inferior amalgam of numerous other series- there’s industrial word, pastoral world, summoning of destined monsters, and numerous other ideas that have been done better many times before. Roia was truly the only worthy aspect of this seemingly never-ending series- in fact, is anyone even watching it anymore?

Final words: Series and games ripped off by Kiba include Tokyo Underground, Ergo Proxy, .hack, Yu-Gi-Oh!, YuYu Hakusho, Dragonball Z, Pokemon, Hunter X Hunter Greed Island OVA, Mai-HiME, Dynasty Warriors and Suikoden.

Love GetChu!
Due to slow subbing, I have only watched four episodes of this series so far, but it has already proven itself a worthy source of light entertainment. The tale of a group of young girls trying to become voice actors, Love GetChu! does exactly what Kiba failed to achieve- it takes ideas used in earlier series, and combines them into a worthy whole. There’s a ditzy lead, standard personalities, a Maison Ikkoku style apartment and a hint of romance, but somehow it all comes together to make something enjoyable rather than tiresome.

Final words: Please sub more, or I’ll have to start on the raws.

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
Once an obscure series of novels, Haruhi catapulted to fame after its first episode captured the fandom, but as the series progressed, opinions became divided. Although there now exists a small but vocal “yay Haruhi great lol” group, still others (myself included) concluded the series with a more sceptical view on the whole franchise. The characters were insipid, the stories were disappointing and not at all helped by being aired in a random, non-chronological order, and the humour had all but dried up after episode three. It may have gained cult status, but I can’t help wondering why.

Final words: I did actually like the fourth novel.

Nana
The tale of two very different girls both named Nana, Nana was an interesting shoujo drama in manga form, but unfortunately the transition to anime turned it into something far more dull and boring. With the bulk of the series’ focus falling on ‘Hachi’, the less interesting of the two Nanas, Nana failed to engage the attention, and was eventually indefinitely put to one side.

Final words: Less Hachi, more Nana.

Ouran High School Host Club

The delightfully over the top story of one poor girl and six rich guys running a host club at the prestigious Ouran High School, Ouran delivered standard jokes with such infectious enthusiasm that it was impossible not to laugh at them. A fewer weaker instalments and too many episodes focusing on twin brothers Hikaru and Kaoru prevent this from being a pick of the year, but it is certainly worth watching.

Final words: Kyouya is god.

Ray the Animation

Ray is another series I dropped after a single episode, but unfortunately it didn’t really seem to merit any more. As someone with various family members in the medical field, ridiculous conditions like tumours that retreat into the heart when operated on are a bit too much to swallow, and thus this medical-themed series was not fated to last long.

Final words: Monster remains the only decent medicine-related anime.

Saiunkoku Monogatari

At first glance, SaiMono looked to be yet another period series featuring a girl and her attendant bishies, but how wrong I was. SaiMono is leagues beyond the likes of Fushigi Yuugi in terms of quality- this isn’t a reverse harem romance, it is an absorbing tale of political intrigue in the fictional country of Saiunkoku, blended with the the story of Kou Shuurei, a young woman dedicated to improving her country through breaking precedent and becoming a government official. Every episode of SaiMono is like an addictive drug, leaving you desperate for your next fix.

Final words: I need more! More, more more!

School Rumble Nigakki
After thoroughly enjoying the first season of School Rumble, I was looking forward to the continued antics of Tenma, Yakumo, Eri and the rest, but unfortunately, Nigakki failed to deliver. With its crazier humour and lack of plot progression, Nigakki soon grew stale, especially when it meandered into the realms of filler during the latter half of the season.

Final words: Please, let it end.

Simoun
I was actually looking forward to Simoun before it aired, but upon actually watching the first episode, all my expectations for the series were shattered. A poor woman’s HARD YURI version of Last Exile, Simoun features ugly snail-like craft that are not only powered by the pilots getting out of the cockpit and kissing whilst in mid-air, but also have special abilities like drawing pretty lines on the sky. With no discernible plot whatsoever, the series had to be dropped.

Final words: HARD YURI power is an eco-friendly solution to dwindling supplies of fossil fuels.

Tsubasa Chronicle season 2
Whatever it was that made Tsubasa season one so enjoyable (and in retrospect, was it really all that enjoyable?) seemed to have vanished by season two, which devolved into a slow and dull mix of lacklustre adaptations and mediocre filler, all animated in Bee Train’s trademark “stills only” style. When each episode started featuring no fewer than three insipid insert songs, it was time to put the series to rest.

Final words: Go, you filler bus! Drive along that road, carrying your passengers!

Utawarerumono

It started as a pastoral fantasy, only to slowly reveal its flaws and turn into a harem series with ill-fitting sci-fi elements, but nonetheless, somehow Utawarerumono merited its own addiction phase. The series itself was lacking, but it led into the game, the mini-game, the parodies, and sparked many ideas simply due to the potential the setting contained. Not a pick of the year, but notable for being integral to the life of this blog- even now “gwakakaka” is still going strong.

Final words: Karura and Touka are all.

xxxHOLiC
I love the darkly stylish xxxHOLiC manga, but when the time came to turn it into an anime, something seemed to go terribly wrong. The high contrast art style became a washed out version of its former self, stories were slow and filled with dull exposition scenes, and the overall result was none too tantalising. I completed the series out of loyalty to the manga, but in retrospect I would have been better off not to do so.

Finally words: This could have been so much better.

Yume Tsukai
At first glance, I thought that the story of three dream masters would be a touching slice of life piece in the vein of Kokoro Library. At second glance, I awoke to the fact that this was not the case; instead, this was a poorly animated and poorly constructed series of tales in which one of the main characters has a fetish for underage girls. Shrine of the Morning Mist simply blows it out of the water.

Final words: It could have been good, but let’s face it, it wasn’t.

Zegapain
Sunrise, when will you learn that churning out endless mecha series doesn’t necessarily mean that any of them will actually be worth watching? Apparently Zegapain improves later on, but the starving man’s Aquarion vibe given off by the first couple of episodes (not to mention the unnecessary nudity) was enough to ensure that I never actually reached those episodes.

Final words: The apples that appeared in episode one were the best characters.

SUMMER 2006

Binbou Shimai Monogatari
The evening before watching the first episode of Binbou, I read sixteen chapters of the manga, almost all of which began with a variation on “Mother died; Father ran up gambling debts and disappeared.” In case you hadn’t guessed, that is the setting for this anime about two sisters living in poverty, which is perhaps the most lifeless and half-hearted slice-of-life series that I’ve encountered. An angst-filled example of how poor the genre can be, Binbou went through the motions, but achieved nothing more.

Final words: I don’t know if you’ve heard this before, but Mother died and Father ran up debts and disappeared.

Bokura ga Ita
One of the first ever series to feature in my Weekly Round-Up, Bokura ga Ita’s tenure in my viewing schedule was nothing if not brief. A poor man’s version of Kare Kano, Bokura ga Ita featured all the angst and drama, but completely neglected the elements that would have made the series enjoyable. After struggling through a dull episode populated by dislikeable leads and a Nagato Yuki clone, I gave up on it.

Final words: Not my cup of angst.

Le Chevalier d’Eon

Despite treading perilously close to the realms of cheese, Chevalier consistently manages to deliver an absorbing historical fantasy despite its lack of much in the way of accuracy. The tale of d’Eon, a French knight who not only gets drawn into a shady underworld of magic and manipulation, but also ends up housing his sister’s soul, Chevalier’s only inconsistency in its animation, which starts well but soon goes downhill.

Chocotto Sister
Haruma has always wanted a little sister, and one Christmas, Santa delivers just that. Choco, as Haruma names her, is entirely devoted to her big brother, but unfortunately she is so completely lacking in life skills that she has to refer to a notebook. This could have been a passable slice-of-life series, but unfortunately it chose the route of excessive fanservice instead- when a series needs to use police tape as a censor, it is never a good sign.

Final words: What, you don’t like naked aprons?

Coyote Ragtime Show
Aside from its infamous turn as the “Great ANN Ad”, Coyote Ragtime Show is a series best forgotten- even the name serves a warning. A tale of MANLY men and gothlolis for every month of the year, Coyote Ragtime Show lacked anything even approximating worth; I went into it with low expectations and was still disappointed.

Final words: ADV licensed this? They think it’s good? Where is Kurau!?

FLAG
Years ago, when my supply of anime was less plentiful, Gasaraki happened to be one of the few series that I had access to. Despite appearing to be quite bland and boring on the surface, I forced myself to keep watching the series until I finally gained something of an appreciation for its intricate politics; with that in mind, I was determined to give FLAG- a similar series from the same creators- a fair chance. Unfortunately, once the novelty of having the story told through monitor stills and the lens of a camera wore off, FLAG proved to be a dull series with bland character designs and ugly mecha. I feel slightly guilty for not giving it as much of a chance as I did for Gasaraki, but then again, there’s more to watch these days.

Final words: Gritty realism with issues relevant to today’s society? Take it back, please, and come up with a phrase that’s less overused.

Hanoka
No matter how poor it was, I was confident I could sit through a series where each episode was only five minutes long, but as Hanoka went out of its way to demonstrate, that wasn’t the case. Animated in Flash, Hanoka looked like an amateur piece, complete with a generic storyline to accompany its unimpressive looks- in the end, it had to go.

Final words: Five minutes of boredom is five minutes too many.

Honey and Clover II
I loved the first season of Honey and Clover, and perhaps it was because of that that I was secretly sceptical about a second season; the last thing I wanted was for my high opinion of the series to be ruined, but unfortunately, that’s just what happened. Although it did indeed have its moments of excellence, H&C II lost points for focusing on minor character Kaoru before turning into some kind of “who gets Hagu?” dating sim (with added “Mayama the stalker”). Yes, I understand the deeper arguments behind the resolution and the characters’ choices, but it was simply handled too flippantly for me to enjoy it.

Final words: One word- disappointing.

Innocent Venus
Innocent Venus may have looked vaguely promising before it aired, but when it turned out to be a poor rehash of ideas from numerous different series (not to mention completely unable to retain the attention), the adventures of Jo, Sana and Jin had to be put aside. Thanks to this series, however, there are various unwelcome images that will forever be burned into my mind- the irritating pirate captain and his busty first mate; the Last Exile psycho killer team; blood pooling out of a man’s smashed faceplate and those ugly, ugly mecha. After the series finished airing, I did consider giving it another chance, but happily I think I’m over that phase.

Final words: I already posted this list way back when I was watching the series, but let’s refresh our memories as to the series IV ripped off- Last Exile, Wolf’s Rain, Kurau, Hunter X Hunter, Burst Angel, Mahou Shoujotai, Arc Twilight of the Spirits, Stand Alone Complex, Gasaraki, .hack//Roots.

Kemonozume
If appreciating Kenozume’s artwork is supposed to indicate some kind of superior taste, then I’m happy to call myself inferior; yes, technically it has its strengths, but on purely visceral grounds, I find it hideous. The tale of a clan of demon hunters, one of whom falls in love with demon, the relationship between Kemonozume and I was destined to be short from the moment they showed a man losing bowel control onscreen.

Final words: Sex and defecation- how mature.

Koi Suru Tenshi Angelique
With its nine brightly coloured bishies, Angelique was clearly never going to be marvellous, but I went into believing that it would at least offer up some light entertainment. Unfortunately, what I got was an insipid mess with even less plot than its sister series Haruka 8; unless watching a dull lead wandering around a castle and chatting to bishounen sounds exciting to you, be sure to avoid it.

Final words: It’s like a computer game in which you can’t ever leave the hub world and actually play a level.

Night Head Genesis

Featuring a pair of brothers pursued due to their unique psychic abilities, NHG had the potential to be a chilling and compelling series that would have been the spiritual successor to Kurau, but as it turns out, reality was far less kind. A barely comprehensible string of scenes that seemed to thinly disguise a HARD GAY propaganda piece, NHG become downright painful by its fourth episode, and was thus swiftly removed from the viewing schedule.

Final words: Give me Kurau and Christmas any day.

Otogi-jushi Akazukin TV
It was always abundantly clearer that Akazukin was aimed at a younger audience, but in the early days it nonetheless exuded a simplistic charm that was enough to keep it watchable. Unfortunately, as the series progressed with no hint of a plot outside of our fairytale-based heroes fighting magical monsters of the week, it all started becoming a little tedious. I haven’t actually dropped it yet, but I’m only a hair’s breadth away from doing so.

Final words: I hate those damned Sweet Phones.

Tsuyokiss
Tsuyokiss was one of those series I watched just because the name got stuck in my head after the “Great Tsundere Debate of 2006”. Unfortunately, after assembling a cast that was generic beyond belief, and throwing in some awful scenes about a drama club, it managed to drop into the red after just one episode. I had originally intended to watch a little more of the series, but when the subs dried up, so did what little enthusiasm I had for the series.

Final words: It may be Cool X Sweet, but it tastes more like Generic X Dull to me.

Welcome to the NHK
Just prior to watching the first episode of NHK, I finally started on the manga, and was instantly amused at its bleak comedy. As I well knew, however, Gonzo are not the best at adapting manga series into animated form, and indeed, no amount of optimism could disguise the fact that they messed up with NHK, somehow sucking out all the humour and turning it into a bland romance instead. Apparently the series improves in its second half, but I really didn’t have the will to keep watching past episode eleven.

Final words: Damn you, Gonzo, for messing up ultimate moe!

Zero no Tsukaima
Although the novels are quite entertaining, Zero no Tsukaima takes what could have been an interesting (dare I say Harry Potter-esque?) story about an Earth boy interacting with the students of a magical school and turns it into insipid, fanservice-ridden fluff. This was yet another series that I briefly toyed with picking up again, but when every cell in my body rebelled against it, I was forced to abandon that plan.

Final words: Guiche is no Tamaki.

AUTUMN 2006

Asatte no Houkou

Despite the fact that I have yet to watch the ending (which sounds quite bland from what I’ve read), I’ve tentatively given Asatte ‘Pick of the Year’ status for the ease in which it drew me into its world. It does have its flaws, but the series certainly deserves points for taking the age-old idea of having a child suddenly become an adult (and vice versa) and turning it into a compelling drama instead of playing it just for laughs.

Final words: The manga just sounds scary.

Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto
The final title to earn ‘Pick of the Year’ status, Bakumatsu was not a series I could easily get into; trying to penetrate just exactly what was going in the first few episodes was pretty much beyond me. Over time, however, it began to exert an irresistible lure; from the beautiful OP and general atmosphere to the refreshing novelty of a series set in period Japan that isn’t an action or Shounen Jump title, there is much of worth here.

Final words: Like Chevalier, it takes the cheesy and transforms it into the highly worthy.

Bartender
When I first heard of a series about a bartender who helps his customers by finding their ‘destined drink’, I knew I had to watch it for the novelty alone- and I was secretly hoping that it was one of those series that sounded laughable but actually turned out to be worthy. As it turned out, Bartender was the kind of series that leads only to boredom, fidgeting and irritation- especially when you try to swallow the fact that a mere glass of a particular cocktail can radically change someone’s entire life.

Final words: I don’t even like alcohol, so I should have known I wouldn’t like this series.

Black Blood Brothers
“Oh dear” is all that can be said to the prospect of yet another series featuring a moody bishounen vampire and his unhelpful sidekicks fighting against generic evil vampires, and indeed, BBB had nothing to bring to an overworked franchise. By the third episode, it proved entirely impossible to concentrate on what was going on, and so the series had to be abandoned.

Final words: I played Go through much of episode three.

Busou Renkin

Upon learning that Busou Renkin was from the same creator as Kenshin, I was actually looking forward to it- little did I know that where Kenshin was solid and sound, BR was the dumping ground for all the mangaka’s strange and twisted ideas. A standard shounen series filled with everything from the terrifying (Papillon’s thong) to the bizarre (Moon Face), Busou Renkin is far from great, but I watch it partially for Tokiko and mostly for my parodies.

Final words: I pinned all my hopes on Moon Face, but his special technique is a big disappointment.

Code Geass- Lelouch of the Rebellion
The latest stage in the search for that elusive good mecha series, Code Geass turned out to be yet another product from the dango-addled minds at Sunrise. Despite boasting CLAMP character designs, Geass proved to be little more than Gundam Seed Destiny Remix, complete with Kira, Athrun, Lacus, Flay, Lunamaria and more (not to mention added rip-offs from various other sources). Had I known from the start that it was going to be fifty episodes, I wouldn’t have struggled with it for as long as I did.

Final words: How many times am I going to have to say that the cat was the best part of a particular series?

La Corda d’Oro

Despite my bad experiences with fellow Neoromance series Haruka and Angelique, Corda’s focus on music made it seem worthy and so it was duly tried. Despite the extreme predictability and the fact that giving the lead a magical violin amounts to little more than cheating, Corda is an enjoyable series which mixes brightly coloured bishies with an actual plot.

Final words: Behind every good natured lead are multiple bishounen backing her up.

D. Gray-man
Although there was a brief period in which D.Gray-man looked like it might be the one shounen action series I followed this season, this poor man’s FMA blew it early by killing off its most interesting character (unsurprisingly, a fat cat which I have named “Big Boss”). The series never really recovered from this loss, and by the third episode, it was clearly time to put it aside and focus on shounen series which could at least be parodied.

Final words: Why is it called D.Gray-man anyway?

Death Note
Despite my quibbles with the second half of the series, I did enjoy the Death Note manga, and therefore it might seem quite odd that I always seem so negative towards the anime. Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is that the battle of wits between Light, a student with a notebook that can kill people just by writing their name in it, and L, the detective appointed to stop him, is simply too exposition heavy to succeed in animated form. Excepting those laughably theatrical moments when Light and L seem to phase into a coloured ‘Justice Mode’, Madhouse have done the best job they can with the material, but this is really a series that needed to be told through straight prose, not animation.

Final words: Justice Mode, engage!

Ghost Hunt
In case you hadn’t already guessed, Ghost Hunt is about hunting ghosts…or at least, standing around and arguing over what to do about said ghosts. Featuring the by now familiar ‘eclectic bunch of heroes’, Ghost Hunt seemed to be nothing more than the autumn’s Ayakashi- a series that made mediocre stories even worse by playing them at 1/3 speed.

Final words: Generic by name, generic by nature.

Hataraki Man
When I first read about Hataraki Man, it sounded like it could easily become a pick of the season- what could be more enjoyable than the tale of an overworked journalist? Unfortunately, my hopes for a superior slice-of-life series were instantly shattered by the first episode, which portrayed the main character as just the sort of ‘I need a REAL MAN’ woman that I really dislike, and surrounded her with a group of dull and generic supporting characters. A single episode turned out to be more than enough.

Final words: It’s strikeout time for Moyoco Anno.

Kanon [2006]

Given how much I loved Air, I was expecting Kanon’s ‘sad girls in snow’ to elicit the same feelings of enjoyment, but unfortunately, after the first couple of episodes, it was clear that Kanon just wasn’t in the same lead. With an overly sarcastic lead whose main pastime seemed to be verbally abusing all the girls around him whilst they smiled and asked for more, Kanon proved that its main worth lay in parody.

Final words: Yuuichi is one of the foremost villains of the era.

Mai-Otome Zwei
Like the very dango that Sunrise subsists upon, Mai-Otome may not be good for the health, but an unhealthy fascination draws one back to it. The first episode of this OVA sees an evil Shadow Otome start petrifying and absorbing various main characters, whilst Queen Mashiro and Meister Arika’s bond is tested to the limit in preparation for the angst, forgiveness and destiny phases later on.

Final words: At least we got to see some fat cats.

Maria-sama ga Miteru OVA
I enjoyed the first two seasons of MariMite, but having been expecting this OVA since around March, I had pretty much lost enthusiasm by the time it finally rolled around. Episode one sees Yumi accompany Sachiko to her summer villa, only for her week of HARD YURI to be spoiled by general apathy and evil lesbians. The next episode looks like it will be better, but this one was far too standard to truly entertain.

Final words: Onee-sama!

Negima!?
Although the idea of a ten year old boy teaching a class of thirty-one junior high students was never really one that appealed to me, Negima is one of those big name titles that you have to try just to say you have. With my progress into the manga going slowly and my knowledge of the first anime season basically nonexistent, this new series seemed like an ideal place to start. Unfortunately, our relationship was never destined to be a long one- the animation may have been good, but the story left far too much to be desired. With too many insipid characters and a divergence from the very manga arcs I was interested in, Negima!? had to go.

Final words: That ferret is creepy.

Pumpkin Scissors
Gonzo series must always be watched in case they turn out to be the next Last Exile, but as Pumpkin Scissors demonstrated, most of them have no hope of ever entering the same league as Claus and Lavie’s tale. Another FMA-lite tale, this time with Blonde Heroine 10658 at its head, Pumpkin Scissors failed to inspire to such an extent that it was abandoned after the first episode. It will, however, be making a comeback in parody form.

Final words: The Pumpkin Scissors must cut through the pumpkin-esque layers of corruption like a pair of scissors. I’m not kidding.

Red Garden
Another Gonzo effort, Red Garden is effectively ‘Gantz with girls’, featuring four teenage girls who have been revived after their deaths in order to fight slavering men. Despite being drenched in angst, Red Garden looked to have an interesting mystery at its core, but with each passing revelation the truth behind it all becomes ever more laughable and ridiculous.

Final words: KEITO! KULAIR! ROSU! RACHERU!

Rozen Maiden Ouverture
Great visuals and average story were what I expected from Ouverture, and predictably, that is just what this two-part special delivered. The tale of Shinku first met Suigintou and turned her into the psychotic witch we know and love, any enjoyment Ouverture had to offer was simply overshadowed by the amount of plot holes in the Rozen Maiden story.

Final words: More explanations, less ‘wtf’, please.

Shounen Onmyouji
After a poorly subbed first episode, my time with Shounen Onmyouji seemed destined to be short, but fortunately Yoroshiku saw fight to pick up the series, and it was a given a second chance. As the title indicates, Shounen Onmyouji covers the adventures of youthful onmyouji Masahiro, grandson of Abe no Seimei. Together with his destined powers and sidekick Mokkun, Masahiro set out to battle evil foreign demons from the West, but can he prove himself worthy of being Seimei’s successor? A surprisingly fun series that is, if not gold, at least parody silver.

Final words: Imagine how good it could have been if Bishie-Seimei was the lead, and Guren wore proper clothes.

Tenpou Ibun Ayakashi Ayashi
Yet another in a long line of period series, Ayakashi Ayashi is about…well, I actually can’t recall what it was supposed to be about. The only images burned into my brain are those of a disturbingly HARD GAY male bathhouse scene and a fight between two monsters, one with a head shaped like a wang, and the other which looks like three wangs joined together. With that in mind, is it any wonder I chose not to watch past the first episode?

Final words: I should have known that a series with ‘Ayakashi’ in the title was to be avoided.

Tokimeki Memorial
As the doyen of all dating sims (not to mention the one that gets parodied most often), it seemed only right to watch Tokimeki’s long overdue anime incarnation. After just a single episode, however, all such feelings of duty had long since evaporated in the face of the fact that this series was completely and utterly crazy and random- and not in a good, Pani Poni Dash sense. Apart from the chick in the first episode, there seemed little to recommend this makeshift collection of scenes, and so it was quickly swept under the carpet.

Final words: I think I’ll stick with Ukidoki Memorial.

Yoake Mae Yori Ruriiro Na ~Crescent Love~
If you discount the sex scenes, H-game CGs always look good. Anyone got any from Jingai Makyo?

A series that I wanted to watch purely on the strength of some promo artwork, YoakeNa follows the romance between earth boy Tatsuya and Feena, princess of the Moon. Admittedly, it did start out as light fun, but as the weeks passed both the animation and story quality deteriorated to the point where each episode was more an excuse to take a nap than anything else.

Final words: I dislike the series, but I need that figure.

Looking Ahead to 2007
I had planned to try my hand at the obligatory ‘winter season preview’ post, but when I realised that my three paragraph effort would be a firefly as compared to the moon of Hung’s multi-part season preview posts, I quickly abandoned that idea in favour of putting a few words at the end here.

To be honest, the coming winter season doesn’t really look that exciting- do we really need more episodes of Angelique, FLAG and Kamisama Kazoku, much less a remake of Ikki Tousen? Despite the danger of not enjoying the most hyped series, I can’t help looking forward to trying the Ichigo Mashimaro OVA and ‘Corda but better’ Nodame Cantabile; I’m also slightly curious about Les Miserables, although fifty episodes of that does seem a bit much. The likes of ‘chibi-HiME’ Venus Versus Virus and anything dating sim or virtual girl based will most likely be avoided.

Looking further into the year, we have the disappointing news that Bokurano’s anime adaptation is being handled by ‘let’s mess up the story’ Gonzo, as well as a Spring debut for the third season of Nanoha, now with less loli. And regardless of whatever else there is to watch, there’s always more Otome Zwei and MariMite episodes- what fun…

Join me again on Tuesday for the New Year Rumble.

Unlike the direct continuations covered before, remakes have a dubious advantage in that there is no need to come up with fresh storyline- the writers merely need to retool the original, presumably improving upon it in the process. Conversely, spin-offs need not be anything like the original; all they need is one or two familiar faces to draw in fans of the franchise, and from there the creative staff are left to their own devices. Despite these key differences, both types of continuation have an air of moneymaking about them, but is it really fair to tar them all with the same brush? Are there some continuations out there which are genuine improvements on the original, or are all they all simply sub par attempts to squeeze the last few drops of money out of a flagging franchise? Naturally, the only way to find out is to look at some examples.

Were these continuations a good thing?
Series in red did not fare so well compared to their respective first seasons; those in black were able to maintain quality or even improve upon it. I’m not going to include the massive headaches that are the Gundam and Macross franchises; not only do they deserve articles of their own, but my incomplete experience of each franchise hardly puts me in a position to be able to write a definitive piece about them. I’ll also be neglecting film and manga spin-offs and remakes for the most part.

.hack second generation
The “first generation” of .hack was already something of a multi-platform moneymaking scheme, but back in those days, the series actually had worth. SIGN was an atmospheric tale with excellent music, the games were oddly addictive, LOT had bright colours, Ouka and a giant grunty and Liminality was…forgivable, at least. Unfortunately, the much anticipated second trip to the well could not live up to the originals- Roots was a slow and dull tales that meandered around insipid characters without even exhibiting signs of a plot, whilst Online Jack was amusing only in its awfulness.

A.D. Police OVA
I haven’t watched the AD Police TV series (completion decrees I must, but enthusiasm puts it off indefinitely), however, the less said about this three episode OVA, the better. Instead of being an interesting alternate perspective on the BGC universe, AD Police is a generic cyberpunk series that might as well have been set in any dystopian future. Unless you have a hankering for naked androids, blood, and generic characters, there isn’t much incentive to watch this.

Ah! My Goddess TV
Given the length of the AMG manga, a five episode OVA didn’t really seem enough, but unfortunately, the TV series remake took things to the other extreme by choosing to continue for too long. With a premise that is basically nothing more than light harem entertainment, short and sweet is far more desirable than long and drawn out, and thus the TV series was doomed to get old eventually- especially when it ran into its second season.

Adventures of Mini-Goddess
A spin-off of five minute episodes featuring the adventures of the chibi goddesses and rat Gan-chan, Mini-Goddess had some cute character designs but little else going for it. Over the course of its forty eight episodes, Mini-Goddess occasionally managed to breach the realms of light entertainment, only to quickly sink back down into the domain of the pointless and bizarre (or, in the case of the mould monster Gabira, the sickeningly disgusting).

Akane Maniax
Having thoroughly enjoyed the drama of KgNE, it seemed only right to try this OVA spin-off featuring supporting character Akane. Unfortunately, the OVA also featured a new character in the form of mecha and baseball fanatic Gouda, a personality so irritating that he seemed to be the ultimate fusion of all the brash and moronic testosterone-addled males that had come before him. Although there were some vaguely touching moments in the third and final episode, the vast majority of this OVA was something of a chore to get through.

Angel Links
A spin-off series set in the Outlaw Star universe, Angel Links shifts the action away from Gene Starwind and his band of outlaws, instead choosing to focus on teen prodigy Meifon Li, captain of the starship Angel Links. To its credit, Angel Links tried to include an interesting plot that slowly unfolded over the course of the series, but without the likable cast and vibrant energy of Outlaw Star, it could only manage a generic and clichéd space story.

Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040
A remake of the original Bubblegum Crisis OVA, Tokyo 2040 is often criticised by hardcore BGC fans for altering the characters’ personalities, but whilst this TV series is the kind of thing you can only really enjoy when you’re just getting into anime, I have to say I find it an improvement on the original. The story may have lost momentum and even coherence towards the end, but the 26 episode length provided valuable opportunities for character development, whilst the basic character designs were cleaner and more refined.

Erementar Gerad: Flag of Blue Sky
I freely admit that I have only read a single chapter of this spin-off manga, but even at this early stage it lacks the appeal of the original. The artwork is still as excellent as ever, but action scenes are confusing to the point of making it entirely unclear what is going on, whilst a promo video I watched paints this series as a somewhat generic cross between Burst Angel and The Third.

Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu
This alternate universe comedic take on the FMP universe is my personal favourite from all three series; as FMP proved in the first series, it simply isn’t very good at tackling serious storylines, so what better step to take than to remove them entirely? Admittedly, I had my qualms before viewing it, but Fumoffu actually turned out to be a light-hearted and consistently amusing experience that entertained without ever outstaying its welcome.

Futakoi Alternative
Where Futakoi was a standard harem story with the twist that all the love interests were twins, Alternative kept the twins and threw everything else out in its attempt to make a sequel that only bore the vaguest of resemblances to the original. Each series is enjoyable, but for its own reasons- Futakoi is light, harmless entertainment, whilst Alternative is a strangely addictive combination of likable characters and completely bizarre situations. Admittedly, it could be argued that they don’t even need to be considered part of the same franchise, but it is actually interesting to pick up on their few common threads without having enjoyment of one series overshadowed by memories of the other.

Future Hero Retro Story
Another Outlaw Star spin-off, this prequel manga features a boy from Earth who inherits his grandfather’s spaceship; as potentially entertaining as it might sound, however, the mangaka has packed so much action and craziness into each page that it is very difficult to even follow the story.

Ginga Densetsu Weed
Weed and Gin are held in such regard by their devoted following that I always feel guilty about critiquing them, but that’s never stopped me before, so I’m not going to hold back now. Weed was something I could actually watch- it was an odd mix of shounen clichés, bloody violence and brown dogs, but it was perfect for parodying. Unfortunately, at fourteen years its senior, the original Gin series had not weathered well enough to entertain me as much as Weed did; the screencaps reveal an amusing HARD GAY trend, but the actual story does not enthral.

Hellsing Ultimate
Personally, I’m not all that enthused by the Hellsing franchise as a whole, but the OVA remake at least has the crowd-pleaser of not being animated by Gonzo sticking closer to the original material.

Kanon 2006
My feelings on Kanon should already be well known, but in the interests of completion, I’ll summarise them here. Whilst I’m not the biggest fan of either version of Kanon, the Toei version had the advantage of pacing, whereas KyoAni can only go so far in its attempts to balance treacle-slow development and an overly sarcastic lead with top quality animation. Admittedly, Kanon 2006 has some way to go, but right now it is struggling even to be parody worthy.

Mai-Otome
Ah, Mai-Otome, what haven’t I already said about the disappointment that you brought? Suffice to say that whilst HiME was hardly perfect, it did at least contain action scenes and a plot, elements that Otome did not seem to feel it was necessary to include. Perhaps Otome could have gone somewhere if it had had 26 more episodes, but as it stands, it just strung us along for the seventeen weeks it took to realise that it was never going to deliver.

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha
Although Nanoha went on to eclipse its predecessor Triangle Heart in terms of popularity, I have to admit that I would rather have seen a Triangle Heart TV series. Where Nanoha was always something of an on the rails magical girl show which traded on its production values and loli appeal, Triangle Heart offered a more interesting premise by casting Nanoha’s siblings as a pair of sword wielding bodyguards.

Paradise Kiss
Both ParaKiss and its prequel Gokinjo Monogatari are similar stories about a group of students at the Yazawa School of Arts, but where Gokinjo was a slow starter that sometimes felt like a bit of a struggle to get through, ParaKiss is a sharper, faster-paced experience. The animated version also benefits from actually looking as stylish as a fashion series needs to be- a far cry from the ugliness of the Gokinjo anime.

Parasite Dolls
Yet another Bubblegum Crisis spin-off, this three episode OVA collects together a trio of stories about a secret branch of the AD Police- unfortunately, it suffers from the exact same problems as the previous AD Police OVA. The characters are insipid, the stories are standard, and there really is no reason to care about anything that happens. It’s a shame, as this could have actually been a decent spin-off if it had been a full TV series.

Pretty Sammy
Even Tenchi had a spin at magical girls with this OVA (which later spawned a TV series of its own). Unfortunately, despite its apparent attempts to be a tongue-in-cheek parody of a standard magical girl series, it ended up as nothing more than a clichéd example of the very genre it was trying to mock. Aside from some decent character designs and the novelty of seeing familiar Tenchi characters cast in different roles, there isn’t much to recommend this.

Tenchi Universe
The first Tenchi TV series retells the Kagato story from the first OVA, and whilst purists always insist on putting it in second place, I have a confession to make- I saw Tenchi Universe before I even touched the OVAs, and it is actually my favourite incarnation of this story arc. Despite the inevitable filler that crept in, the series was able to explore the characters a lot more over the course of 26 episodes, and can also lay claim to having one of the most well-resolved endings of any anime series (I still feel a pang of emotion when “Dimension of Love” begins to play).

Tenchi in Tokyo
Conversely, the second TV series chose to tell a completely original story, and marked the beginning of the franchise’s downward spiral. A monster of the week series with generic enemies, reused jokes and awful animation, Tenchi in Tokyo has a few entertaining moments, but even hardcore fans are disinclined to praise it.

Tenchi GXP
The third Tenchi TV series, GXP is actually set in the same universe as the original OVAs, but introduces an entirely new cast of characters. Unfortunately, what could be an interesting story about life as a Galaxy Police officer turns out to be nothing more than an over-the-top and fanservice laden harem series that makes the original Tenchi look tame. The gimmick of making the lead a young man with incredibly bad luck is also one that gets old fast, and is only the first in a long line of jokes that the series runs into the ground.

Sakura Wars TV

A retelling of the first Sakura Wars OVA, Sakura Wars TV encapsulates both the good and bad aspects of a typical OVA to TV series transition. The plot may err on the side of the monster of the week formula, but the added episode count offers the opportunity to fully explore the characters, even if Reni and Orihime are unable to get in on the act.

X TV
Neither a two hour movie nor a 24 episode series can really do justice to an 18 volume manga series, but clearly the latter has a better chance of at least conveying the essence of the story. Where the movie made so little sense that it was hard to even remember the characters’ names afterwards, the anime was a lot more coherent. It may have diverged from the manga in the latter half and been in sore need of a second season, but for now, it is the best animated adaptation of X that we have.

Final Thoughts
Based on the number of titles in red, it seems that remakes and spin-offs are even worse at living up to their predecessors than direct continuations. Whether retelling a story or creating an entirely new one in the same universe, perhaps it is just too much work to completely step out of the shadow of the original.

To be honest, while I do have a tendency to check my stats page rather often, I have absolutely no intention of caring about what someone tells me I should and shouldn’t write. Regardless of whether it’s old and irrelevant, or new and covered by 60 other blogs, if I want to write about it, I will. Ironically, a lot of my content is original, but I actually started the parodies even before I had a blog, and even when I posted them here I had no idea if anyone would read them.

Since I’d rather blog about anime than about blogging, that’s pretty much all I have to say for now, except to point out one thing. Excessive loquacity does not make you a superior writer; the mark of a good writer is being able to convey a point clearly and concisely without having to run their work through thesaurus.com.

On a completely unrelated note, I also saw a few clips from the Uta English dub yesterday; I barely watch dubs anymore, but I really don’t remember them being as bad as this one- “My mask- why can’t I take it off?”. They could have at least used the parody script.

Now, back to business…

How to be Evil Part One: Picking Your Henchmen
Ever wanted to be a final boss villain but didn’t know where to start? Never fear, this new ‘how to be evil’ series was mad just for you! From the best locations for final boss castles right down to what attire to wear, it will all be covered here. This week, we’ll begin by covering what to look for when hiring henchmen.

1. The most important thing is to hire underlings of varying strength and ability; the strongest lieutenants will remain closest to your headquarters, whilst progressively weaker will be stationed further out. This gives the hero a well balanced learning curve for levelling up.

2. When picking your most trusted lieutenants, there is a standard model which must be adhered to. Try to ensure that you include at least three of the following:

a. A seductive female with long black hair. Her special power may be based on poisons and pheromones, and if possible, she should be an ex-girlfriend of the hero.

b. An intensely loyal semi-bishie or older man. It will require extra effort, but whenever you have a spare moment, use it to wander around saving angsty semi-bishie teenagers and grooming them to become your loyal underlings.

c. An ugly and generic warrior who provides an easy warm-up for the hero.

d. A smart and scheming young man who will continually mess up your plans by acting on his own.

3. All of your generic warriors must look exactly the same. Uniformity is a sign of evil.

4. Guards must be particularly stupid and prone to falling for the most basic tricks the heroes play on them. A sadistic streak is recommended.

Ginga Densetsu Heroin
First it was Gin, then Weed, so what better to follow up with than an even stronger drug? In this sequel to Ginga Densetsu Weed, a brave female dog named Heroin must gather allies and brown dogs in a desperate attempt to defeat the evil black dog overlord, Darklore. Complete with cameos from Weed characters and main character spots for their descendants, Ginga Densetsu Heroin will run for 100 volumes in manga form, and will be adapted into a 52 episode anime series in 2024. Expect dogs, violence, and, er, more dogs!

Short Parody: Death Note

Light finds the Death Note.

Light: Mwahaha, at long last I can use this to kill everyone who wronged me- that teacher who gave me a B in primary school, that kid who used to look at me strangely…er, I mean, I’ll use it for a noble goal like killing ‘criminals’. Yes, ‘criminals’…like that kid…

L: Oh no you don’t, Light! I am Justice, and I will stop you!

Light: You’ll never get me, L! Here’s twenty minutes of exposition about how I plan to outwit you!

L: Twenty minutes is nothing! Here’s thirty minutes of exposition about how I already anticipated your moves and prepared for them!

Light: Hah, that’s just what I wanted you to think! Now I will take forty minutes to explain how I prepared for exactly this scenario…

Ginga Nagareboshi Gin 4 parody

Where other men favour swords and guns, Hidetoshi is an advocate of a whole new type of HARD GAY weapon- the bow.

Daisuke is intrigued after learning that a ‘bow’ is more powerful than a ‘rifle’.

Hidetoshi is eager to train Daisuke in the ways of HARD GAY with ‘bows’.

Hidetoshi explains that HARD GAY is about the combination of raw power and special techniques.

When there are no HARD GAY partners available, bestiality is acceptable.

Whether you choose to sleep with man or dog, you must pick a good partner.

Completely entranced by Hidetoshi’s words, Daisuke selects both a HARD GAY weapon and a canine partner.

A series of training stills sees Daisuke metamorphose into a muscular HARD GAY man.

It’s better to wait than attempt HARD GAY in adverse conditions.

Nonetheless, poor Daisuke has lost his nerve.

Weekly Awards

Product Placement of the Week: Variations on well-known companies such as McDonalds and Fedex have long been a part of anime, but this year sees product reach new levels. Whilst Nana tries to encourage us all to smoke brand-name cigarettes, nothing can compare to Code Geass’ reliance on Pizza Hut. Noble Japan may be fighting the evil Western empire of Brittania, but at the end of the day, Pizza Hut is the true winner.

Want fresh breath? Then try .hack brand Grunt Mints, available from all good stores.

Butterfly of the Week: Where series such as Bleach and Red Garden use butterflies to indicate the afterlife and its accompanying mysteries, Busou Renkin takes butterfly use to new levels with its villain, Papillon. A man who likes to reach around inside his thong for his butterfly mask, Papillon’s very appearance is so disgusting and terrifying that it takes a strong stomach just to look at him, let alone fight him.

Abe no Seimei of the Week: The legendary mystic has had many roles in anime, from the eccentric creator of the Abenobashi Shopping Arcade to Yasuaki’s mentor in Haruka 8 and Masahiro’s grandfather in Shounen Onmyouji. The prize for the best Abe no Seimei, however, must go to Otogi Zoshi; a series which I didn’t rate highly at first, but which is now starting to grow on me (I have yet to see the Tokyo arc, however).

Still More Magatamas: For the third week in a row, Magatamas must be mentioned, as Akiko of Shounen Onmyouji dons a bead and magatama necklace.

Flower Conversation of the Week: Chatting to flowers is oddly common in anime, with both Souta of Otogi-jushi Akazukin and Camus of Meine Liebe possessing the strange ability to talk to plant life. A newcomer’s prize must be handed out to Gargoyle of the Yoshinagas, however, as Futaba gains a helmet that enables her to talk to plants.

OST Spotlight: Eremetar Gerad (Elemental Gelade)
Using Yuki Kajiura’s work on what is basically a straightforward action series may seem like an odd choice, but nonetheless the results speak for themselves. Kajiura applies her usual blend of orchestral and synth to good effect, producing what is effectively a videogame soundtrack with a slightly Celtic feel. Unlike her more melancholy work on other series, EG offers a somewhat more cheerful and upbeat selection- creating a whole that is consistent with Kajiura’s usual style but by no means tedious or repetitive.

OP/ED: TV edits.

Notable tracks: Forever…, Ningen no Dougu, Kaishuu Meirei, Bijo to Yajuu, Hyouteki Lock-On!!, Doukei no Hadou, Chotto Mattero, Fuuin

Worthiness: Not up to the level of Kajiura’s best pieces but still an essential purchase for fans of her work.

In Your Reflection

This week sees a head to head between three fiery redheads- Midori of Mai-HiME/Otome, Akiko of HanTsuki and Makoto of Chokotto Sister. All three have outgoing, forward personalities and aren’t afraid to speak their mind, but only Makoto seems to have a liking for fondling other women’s breasts.

Amusing Search Terms

uknighted manganime game: Sorry, wrong blog.

.hack//roots manga dragon: I was with you right up to the moment you typed dragon.

ginga toss: Is this some kind of brown dog throwing game?

you toube: Back for its eighth consecutive week.

anime strangling: This one scares me slightly.

buso renkin gay: Not just gay, but HARD GAY.

ginga densetsu weed 27: Sorry, it doesn’t exist.

heero yui “going to kill you”: It says something about the popularity of Gundam Wing when my Jyu-oh-sei parody tops the Google results for this.

lambda eight anime: Unless this is really meant to target Love GetChu!, I have no idea what it’s looking for.

RPG Maker XP Resources “Overdrive”: Unfortunately, I’m just as in need of RPG Maker resources as everyone else.

If not exactly sparse, this week sees a few familiar names absent from the roster (but undoubtedly waiting for the flood of releases that I sense will occur next week). In the meantime, I’ve finally made good on my promise to catch up on a few more manga series and have also fit in all 20 episodes of Twin Spica, which will be written about when I can be bothered in due course.

Reviewed this week: Chocotto Sister, Ginga Densetsu Weed, Hanoka, Higurashi, H&C II, Kemonozume, Keroro, Otogi-jushi Akazukin, ROTK, Tsubasa, Utawarerumono, NHK (School Rumble will return next week)

…and in manga: Chocotto Sister, Erementar Gerad, Furuba, Hunter X Hunter, Mai-Otome, REC, Twin Spica, Utawarerumono

ANIME

Chocotto Sister 4-5: Valentine’s Day is here, and that means that all the members of Haruma’s harem would like to give him a gift (excluding Makoto, who expects gifts of her own); cue more fanservice, tedious antics from the girls, and “Choko is naked in a ribbon”. If you thought that was bad, however, episode five is much, much worse; this time around, Choco wants Haruma to buy her a bra, leading to a series of events that includes breast groping, nudity, and lots of censoring police tape.

*COMPLETE* Ginga Densetsu Weed 26: At long last, the concluding episode of Weed is here, and with it, the inevitable final boss fight between Weed and Hougen; there was nothing here I wasn’t expecting, but I have to admit that I felt a pang of emotion at the final scene. Overall, the story was predictable, the animation was poor, and many defenceless brown dogs died, but despite its many flaws, Weed will always stand as an example of a series that survived even as many others were dropped.

Hanoka 3: The latest five minute burst of Hanoka concludes our eponymous heroine’s opening mission, before introducing us to youthful but combat-focused Yuji and other supporting characters. As before, it isn’t terribly interesting, but remains watchable by virtue of being brief.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni 21: It’s a bumper week at Shion’s health spa in this closing segment of the Detective Chapter, which sees plenty of bloody deaths, answers and the final tie-ins with the Watanagashi arc (better known as recycled animation). It may be bloody, but it’s also oddly compelling in a way that few series can manage.

Honey and Clover II 9: This is the episode I wanted to see last week, the tragic consequences of Hagu’s accident and what it means for her future. On the one hand, it’s easy to parody Shuu and Takemoto’s concerns for Hagu, on the other, it does honestly make for absorbing viewing.

*DROPPED* Kemonozume: I tried to watch episode two, I really did, but it was a wasted effort which I stopped several minutes in. Naked women, ugly demons, and men losing control of their bodily functions are all things I can do without.

Keroro Gunso 54: The second season of Keroro, and this episode in particular have left me with three questions- why must 556 keep appearing, why was everyone split up and reset after episode 51, and finally, why do we have to have a thirty second preview right at the beginning of the episode? With that in mind, this was another solid but not season one level episode, featuring Keroro’s attempt to solve the mystery of an unconscious 556, and the return of Dororo and Giroro.

Otogi-jushi Akazukin 7: After episode six, it seemed almost certain our heroes would be going back to Fandavale in this episode, but as it turned out, before we could go anywhere, there was the small matter of rescuing Ringo from Gretel’s clutches. I have to admit it’s slightly tiresome seeing Gretel and Randagio repeatedly fail as their monsters get chopped up in substandard action sequences, but nonetheless episode 8 looks promising.

Romance of the Three Kingdoms 18-9: A double bill of ROTK is not so much like birthday and Christmas on the same day as receiving the gas and electricity bills on the same day and realising they both must be dealt with sooner rather than later. This time around, Zhang Fei manages to mess up due to excessive drinking, and Lu Bu ends a potential conflict by showing a grain of intellect. There were some amusing lines as always, but nothing spectacular overall.

Tsubasa Chronicle 40: I was hoping that a return to the manga story would see a significant improvement in quality, but whilst this was by no means as bad as the bus filler arc, I can’t exactly say it was good. Skipping over the introduction to the world of Rekord, the episode jumps straight into the flashbacks of Kurogane’s childhood that Syaoran sees in the Book of Memories, complete with stills, strangely weak music, and a pace akin to the flow of crystallised treacle. Action scenes are now entirely omitted in favour of ‘before’ and ‘after’ stills; in fact, this may well be the first anime to have less animation and movement than its manga counterpart.

Utawarerumono 20-2: Okay, I have a confession to make- due to various circumstances surrounding overheating of my laptop and having to use another computer, I wasn’t paying a great deal of attention to Uta 21 last week. Thus, I have rewatched it alongside episode 20, and to be perfectly honest, it didn’t make a great deal of difference to my opinion. Kuuya is inconsistent, Hau is disappointing, many questions remain unanswered or glossed over, and all-in-all, the tale of Hakuoro vs. the FMA rejects is thoroughly uninspiring.

Episode 22 continues the story, bringing us more mecha attacks and more unrealistically large sprays of blood, but actually re-sparking my interest in Hakuoro’s back story along the way.

Utawarerumono DVD Special 1: After Mai-Otome, I should really have learned my lesson about DVD specials, but accursed curiosity drove me to see what this one was all about. In this short, Hakuoro and Oboro end up eating spoiled food after they steal some snacks from Eruruu’s stores, and subsequently have to fight over who gets to use the bathroom first (begging questions as to why such a large castle only has one toilet). It tries hard to be amusing, but doesn’t really succeed.

Welcome to the NHK 7: Satou has ended up falling back into his hikikomori ways, but when his mother arranges to visit him, it’s time to brave the outdoors and at least create the illusion that he has both a job and girlfriend. As always, the story is a bit too drawn out, and we could perhaps do without the blue aliens and talking appliances, but seeing as the series seems to have stabilised somewhat, I’m taking it off the red for now.

MANGA

*CATCH-UP* Chokotto Sister volumes 1-4: Expect a more detailed review to follow soon, but this brief paragraph will do for now. Like the anime it spawned, Chokotto Sister sees protagonist Haruma receive a somewhat unexpected Christmas present in the form of the little sister he always wanted. In principle, this could be a nice little slice-of-life story or romantic drama (no, not between Haruma and his sister, there are other girls present) but instead the mangaka has loaded it up with as much fanservice as possible. This isn’t a case of a few panty-shots or creative angles- everything from breast fondling to full-on nudity is included, and if you missed it the first time, it’s bound to happen again in a later chapter. I want to turn away, but somehow it hooks me in enough to keep on reading.

Erementar Gerad (Elemental Gelade) 21: An action-packed chapter in which Rowen and Kuea face off against Greyarts; unfortunately like many action scenes in manga it isn’t always easy to tell what’s going on, whilst the main story advances little.

Fruits Basket 121: Yet another gap-filler, this time covering “Akito vs. Tohru”. The usual levels of angst ensue.

*CATCH-UP* Hunter X Hunter: It has taken many months, and the occasional loss of enthusiasm, but I am finally up to date with Hunter X Hunter. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t have its flaws, and it suffers from frequent dips in artwork quality in latter chapters, but at its best it’s enjoyable and straightforward fun. I am slightly confused about chapter 261, however- was it meant to be a parody chapter or did I just pick up an ‘alternate’ version?

Mai-Otome 25: I thought that I had come to grips with the worst Otome had to offer, but chapter 25 opened my eyes to the levels the series is prepared to sink to. After wrapping up the events of the Rena arc and giving us a few panels of an evil-looking Sergey, the chapter charts Erstin’s discovery of Manshiro’s true gender, and her attempts to reconcile herself with his penis by taking a bath with him. Cue terrifying amounts of nudity and far too much “but Mashiro-san has an elephant attached”.

Fortunately, episode 26 is less horrifying (if not particularly enticing either), featuring a visit to a refugee camp and the return of Inspector Haruka. Presumably the starving refugee children are meant to evoke sympathy, but the series as a whole is too shallow to garner emotion with such an obvious ploy.

REC 14: Poor Matsumaru’s been feeling under the weather lately- in fact, he may even be starting a cold. Unfortunately, illness or not, he’s been asked to don the Nekoki costume for a new ad campaign- will it all go horribly wrong? Seemingly a short and sweet one-off story, this chapter may not top the originality stakes, but it’s still an improvement over the last arc.

*NEW* Twin Spica 1: Set in 2024, Twin Spica follows the tale of Asumi, a young girl who dreams of going to space school, and who, for reasons as yet unexplained, can see the ghost of ‘Lion-san’, an astronaut who died in a rocket explosion in 2010. In the opening chapter, Asumi must gather up the courage to tell her father that she has applied for space school- even in these first few pages the story promises to develop into something powerful and moving, and I’m looking forward to sampling more (in the meantime, I’ve familiarised myself with the anime).

Utawarerumono 3: Another unfunny glimpse into the world of Uta manga, which sees Karura encourage Touka and Eruruu to transform themselves into ‘adult women’. The manga is the perfect place for a harem parody, but unfortunately so far it’s going about it all wrong.

Utawarerumono doujin: I really should know better than to read this kind of thing, but as has already been demonstrated, common sense sometimes falls by the wayside. Unfortunately, the contents of this doujin make the Otome manga and even Chocotto look tame- from start to finish it is a parade of especially unfunny and lowbrow jokes that makes certain Fate doujin look like high art.

And so, without further ado, let the fun commence…Ginga Nagareboshi Gin is, unsurprisingly, the tale of a dog named Gin, who is DESTINED to gather allies and eventually defeat the evil black bear, Akakabuto. Oddly enough for a final boss, Akakabuto appears in the very first episode, killing Gin’s grandfather Shiro and later causing problems for his father Riki and owner ‘Grandpa’.

Whilst Grandpa and Riki head out in futile retaliation against an enemy that cannot die for another twenty episodes, we are introduced to grandson Daisuke and the newborn Gin- already marked out for great deeds of destiny just scant hours after his birth. An excited Daisuke wants to show the lead character of destiny to his grandfather and Riki, but unfortunately both are missing following another bear attack. What better thing to do, then, than for young Daisuke to take the defenceless puppy out onto the bear-dominated mountain in an attempt to search for Grandpa?

First, however, a week must quickly pass, leaving the injured Grandpa and Riki trapped in a cave after a run in with Akakabuto. With their food having long since run out, Grandpa decides to use a conveniently placed meat cleaver to kill the dog for food, but swiftly changes his mind and tries to force the dog to eat him instead. Fortunately for both, the plot swiftly catches up with them when Akakabuto randomly decides to reappear and resume the attack.

Despite being too weak and injured to move mere moments ago, Riki suddenly gains the power to launch an attack on Akakabuto, delaying the bear long enough for Gin and Daisuke to arrive. Naturally, Daisuke’s first impulse is to attack, which somehow ends up with his falling into the cave with Grandpa, whilst Gin is left unprotected on the snow. Riki is quick to rescue him, but with his son safe the older dog is now expendable, and dies a noble and heroic death.

Suddenly invested with new plot power, and strangely bereft of his right foot (yet free of blood, infection or much in the way of pain), Grandpa drags himself out onto the snow and prepares to die- only for Akakabuto to realise that the episode is coming to an end and suddenly retreat. Now it shall fall to Gin to realise his destiny of defeating the bear, who will conveniently continue to wait until the end of the series for a proper confrontation.

Weed: Where is Jerome?

Minor Dog: Sorry, he had to die to give you the strength and resolve to fight on.

Back at the battlefield, brown dogs fight each other. Finally, Akame reaches Gajou.

Battle Message: The Ohu forces have retaken Gajou!

Akame: With a minimum of screen time and noticeable effort, we have retaken Gajou!

Battle Message: Hougen has appeared on the battlefield!

Hougen: Break Level Limit! Increase power to Level 150!

Battle Message: Weed has appeared on the battlefield!

Hougen: Let’s settle this in the only sensible way possible- the good old one-on-one DW style duel.

Weed: Agreed. Everyone, I want you to stand here and watch.

The battle begins…

Weed: Absorb Power of Friendship! Increase power to Level 99! Battouga!

Hougen: How many times do I have to tell you not to keep using the same old trick?

Weed: Thanks for warning me- Mode Switch! Lightning Attack!

Weed begins a series of swift attacks on Hougen; Hougen is downed.

Kyoushiro: Well done Weed, you’ve done it!

GB: Are you sure? We’re only seven minutes into the episode.

Hougen stirs, and gets up.

Hougen: Gwakaka, that was just my third form! Begin Final Boss phase four!

Gin arrives on the battlefield.

Gin: Weed, you may be among the youngest and least experienced of the dogs here, but it is up to you to defeat Hougen by yourself.

Weed absorbs the power of Father-Son bonding.

Hougen: Such insignificant power will not be enough! Aeraga!

Weed is blown back.

Hougen: Follow-up attack! Omnicrush!

Hougen grabs Weed by the tale and begins shaking him.

Weed: Counter with Fang Crunch!

Weed gets in a couple of hits on Hougen’s forehead, but it is not enough- in short order, Hougen tosses a broken and bloodied Weed on the snow.

Hougen: MWAHAHAHA, I have won! That makes me the leader of all dogs in the world!

Kyoushiro: Don’t be ridiculous- evil can’t win!

Gin: I’m afraid we cannot intervene, as there’s no way to add us to the active party.

Suddenly, the green spirits of dead dogs such as Smith and John appear to Weed.

Smith: Weed, please take the ultimate power of Dog Souls!

Weed absorbs the power and stand up.

Weed: Final Attack- Battouga!

Hougen: Not again.

Hougen ducks, and the Battouga misses…or does it? A magical Aeraga wind of destiny blows Weed back, enabling the Battouga to land squarely on Hougen’s forehead.

Other dogs: You’ve done it! Hougen’s HP must be zero by now!

Hougen stirs, and stands up once again!

Hougen: Don’t count me out just yet- I’m a very special type of final boss with no fewer than five separate forms!

Gin: Weed, you have to finish him off.

Weed: Father, I can’t, for I cannot abandon my pure-hearted image now!

Gin: Yes, you are right- I instantly see your point of view. Son, you have surpassed me- which makes you the new Leader.

Weed: Thanks, Dad, although I’ve effectively been the Leader for the entire series anyway.

Hougen: Stop chatting! I’m still alive!

Hougen climbs to the top of Gajou!

Hougen: I am the Leader!

A convenient lightning strike incinerates Hougen.

Weed: Oh good, he died without my having to lift a finger and become a murderer.

Gin: Looks like a happy ending all round.

Flash forward to spring; everywhere is blooming and everyone is happy. Weed sits by himself in a field of flowers.

Weed: Can the series really be ending so soon? I didn’t even get to have a girlfriend.

Jerome’s spirit briefly appears.

Jerome: Don’t worry Weed, your story continues in the manga- all forty-one volumes of it.

Weed: That’s a relief, then.

Weeds friends approach, Weed happily goes to greet them. Could this be…the end?

Many thanks to everyone who read and enjoyed these parodies; if you’d like to see me parody the prequel, Ginga Nagareboshi Gin, be sure to comment here.

After the sparseness of last week, everything seems to have returned in full force in readiness for the Round-Up’s one month anniversary. In light of all the drops of previous weeks, I’ve picked up a number of new series on the anime front, although unfortunately there are still many backlogged manga chapters waiting patiently for my attention.

Reviewed this week: FLAG, Ginga Densetsu Weed, Gokinjo Monogatari, Hanoka, Higurashi, H&C II, Kemonozume, Keroro, Mai-Otome DVD Special, Ouran, SaiMono, School Rumble, Tsubasa, Utawarerumono, NHK, xxxHOLiC, Otogi-jushi Akazukin, Love GetChu!

…and in manga: Erementar Gerad, Fate/Stay Night, Fruits Basket, Tsubasa Chronicle, Utawarerumono, xxxHOLiC

ANIME

FLAG 2: What I should probably write here is that FLAG is “an interesting and subtly nuanced portrayal of conflict” with phrases like “gritty realism” tossed in for good measure, but let’s face it- this episode was just plain dull. I was hoping that we’d get to know the HAVWC team, but instead we’re treated to a tour of their hardware and facility, before Shirasu gets left behind whilst everyone else goes on a mission. I can’t really say that much of this episode held my interest in any way whatsoever, but according to the preview Shirasu will be going to the front lines next time, so I’m going to stick with it for now.

OP impressions: The song is forgettable, but I like the montage of photos.

Ginga Densetsu Weed 25: In the days of yore, reaching the penultimate episode of a series meant some kind of urgency on the plot front, but no longer is that the case. This episode is more a breather before the end, featuring lots of dogs running around in the snow prior to the inevitable final boss confrontation. Nonetheless, its worth as a parody source remains undiminished- and with just one more episode to go, I must find something new to take its place (I’m considering ROTK, but please direct any alternate recommendations to the comments box).

*DROPPED* Gokinjo Monogatari 3-4: I’m not entirely sure why I tried to watch Gokinjo, but the manga improved after a slow start and so the anime had to be given a chance too. This time around, Mikako and Tsutomu make up, Tsutomu continues to spend time with new girlfriend Body-ko, Mikako gets annoyed, they argue…*yawn*. I’m also distinctly unenthused with the artwork- the character designs have all of the flaws of Yazawa’s work whilst retaining none of the charm; the backgrounds are chiefly a lifeless white; and what colours are used are horribly grimy, not unlike the sort of shades found after the contents of a paint box are mixed together by a small child.

The world must see just how bad the animation is.

*NEW* Hanoka 1-2: After reading about this, I can’t say I was expecting a great deal, but since the first episode is only four minutes long, it didn’t seem too much of an investment in time to try it. After you cut out the OP, there’s only two and a half minutes of actual episode, so understandably very little happens- our heroes appear, some giant monsters get blown up, to be continued. I’d like to say the graphics look interesting, but so far it’s more a case of amateur and flat.

Episode two is slightly better (and a whole 53 seconds longer), featuring the obligatory hero angst before Hanoka realises that as a destined main character she has little choice but to fight.

OP impressions: A decent OP overall, with a catchy instrumental beginning and end- a nostalgic reminder of my gaming days.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni 20: Another superior episode of Higurashi, featuring all the violence and madness we’ve come to expect from Shion’s continuing instability. This time around, the ‘answer arc’ lives up to its name by providing us with insights into the Watanagashi arc and what it means to be “demoned away”. With so many of its counterparts falling by the wayside in terms of quality (Uta, Ouran, SR, ‘Holic, I’m looking at you), Higurashi remains the one spring pillar of consistent strength.

Honey and Clover II 8: With any other series, the excellence of episodes 6-7 would have left me worried that the standard could not be maintained, but not so with H&C. I was entirely confident that this episode could live up to live up to its predecessors, which is unfortunate, since it fell some way short. To be fair, the scenes devoted to Hagu’s storyline were very powerful and moving, but before we could even get to them, we were treated to a misplaced ‘humorous’ section about Mayama’s trip to Spain and his latest stalking techniques. The episode also fits in a rather anticlimactic end to the Morita story, in which the company is bought back from its stereotypically evil president. Overall, some hints of greatness, but a hit-and-miss episode overall.

*NEW* Kemonozume 1: I think I set my expectations too high for this one, and a result it came off as somewhat disappointing. The series follows the exploits of flesh eating demons and the warrior family committed to hunting them, with the typical “demoness and human fall in love” occurring towards the end of the episode. On the surface, the story seems promising, but the lengthy exposition scenes, uninspiring characters and flat art style all serve to put me off. I have to admit that the action scenes are well executed, however, even if the best one involved a bizarre and annoying monkey.

OP impressions: An average jazz track accompanies simple, high contrast stills- slightly reminiscent of the Bebop OP. Could be a good song if the vocals were absent.

ED impressions: Spinning flowers and an average song- this time the vague resemblance is to the Texhnolyze ED.

Keroro Gunso 53: Another solid if not outstanding episode of Keroro, but I have to ask- when is Giroro coming back? The first half sees Keroro, Tamama, Fuyuki and Kururu visit various historic monuments in the hopes that they were built by aliens for the purpose of invading Pekopon, whilst the weaker second half heralds the return of Angol Mois and another botched invasion plan involving cherry blossoms.

*NEW* Love GetChu 1-3: I already gave this a rambling and poorly constructed post of its own, but I may as well mention Love GetChu here for completeness. I’ve yet to venture into raw territory, but the three subbed episodes have made for an enjoyable opening to the series; by all rights, this should be a hackneyed rehash of old clichés, but instead Momoko’s quest to become a VA is turning into an enjoyable tale.

OP impressions: A bit too cute for my tastes, but energetic and catchy nonetheless.

ED impressions: A walking rabbit plush and some J-dance/rap = instantly forgettable.

Mai-Otome DVD Special 8: Why, you may ask, given all that I have said about Mai-Otome, would I want to subject myself to another DVD special? To be honest, each time I watch one I wonder that, but I’ve come too far along the path of Mai- to give up now. This time around, we see Natsuki and Mai’s reunion at the episode twenty-three hot springs, together with a recap of Mai’s past and how she ended up in the Black Valley. It’s a lot less interesting than it sounds, especially as most of the story is told against a backdrop of silhouetted stills.

*NEW* Otogi-jushi Akazukin TV 1-6: After familiarising myself with the OVA episode, I’ve finally got around to watching the first five episodes of the TV series, and I have to admit that it was a lot more enjoyable than I was expecting. A fusion of magical girl and fairy tale with a touch of harem, the series tells the tale of destined main character Souta and his encounter with the three Fairy Musketeers Akazukin, Shirayuki and Ibara as they attempt to protect him from the forces of evil and their monsters of the week. Yes, it’s aimed at children, but the brightly coloured character designs and energetic music bring back nostalgic memories of retro gaming- a good choice for some straightforward and light-hearted fun. The only thing that I dislike is the Sweet Phone; it looks like the kind of plastic toy you buy for two-year-olds and seems a particularly pointless addition to the TV series.

OP impressions: An energetic and catchy start.

ED impressions: Not too bad compared to the usual run of ending themes; the song is oddly reminiscent of the Chrono Trigger Guardia Millennial fair music.

Ouran High School Host Club 18-20: Episode 18 sees the introduction of Honey’s brother Chika, and a flashback look into Honey’s transition from the demon captain of the karaoke club to the loli shota of the Host Club. A solid episode overall, which is only marred by the appearance of Renge at the start (sigh), and a few too many lines for the dull Mori- since there isn’t really time to develop him, I’d rather he just remained in the background.

Unfortunately, 19 does not fare so well; perhaps watching two episodes of over-the-top comedy in a row (and with rather mediocre subs) adversely affected my opinion of the episode, but it came off as quite a weak instalment. The overdramatic nature of the series means that it always walks a fine line between hilarious and tiresome, and unfortunately this episode fell into the latter category. The episode sees the return of the ever-annoying Lobelia Girls’ School after the Zuka Club abducts Haruhi to star in their latest performance- the only real highlight here is ever cool and calm Kyouya.

Fortunately with 20, the series is back on form, giving us an insight on the twins’ past and how they came to join the Host Club. I have to admit I was wary of what seemed to be yet another Hikaru+Kaoru focused episode, but it turned out to be a well-executed character piece that was largely free from any painfully over-the-top moments.

Saiunkoku Monogatari 10-16: To have one episode of SaiMono to look forward to is always most welcome, but to be shown the way to the rich vein of Shadow Dreams fansubs (thanks again, Impzie) is as much as anyone can ask for. Episode ten sees the surprisingly abrupt conclusion of the Ensei arc, providing us with some insights into his past but leaving further questions that will hopefully be explored later on. Before getting stuck into the next arc, we’re given a couple of side stories in the form of episode 11, which sees Shuurei’s Bishie Host Club rally together when she comes down with a fever, and 12-13, which introduce child prodigy To Eigetsu.

With that out of the way, the story continues in earnest as both Shuurei and Eigetsu pass their national exams and earn appointments as minor officials; unfortunately, with so many generic officials displeased at seeing both a woman and a thirteen year old pass the national exams, they end up having quite a difficult time of things.

If I liked SaiMono before, then this mini-marathon has greatly increased my appreciation for the series- I find myself increasingly drawn into the characters and storyline, with each episode building on the last to weave a complex and fascinating tapestry. And as an added bonus, I now have enough screencaps to work on a parody version.

School Rumble 20-1: There have been quite a few times this week when I’ve been left thinking “what the hell is this!?”, and this School Rumble double bill was most definitely one of them. First up is episode twenty- a tedious three-part side character extravangza featuring Imadori, Ichijou and her brother playing Dojiboron, minor characters discussing relationships, and cyborg Tenma in ‘Police Force Rumble’. All-in-all, a rather uninspiring selection, but as nothing compared to the follow-up episode twenty one- a painfully unfunny magical girl parody topped off with a basketball section that had absolutely nothing to do with School Rumble whatsoever. Over the last few weeks, my faith in the series has been slowly crumbling, and now I have to admit that it has been completely shattered, to the point where I wish this had ended at 13 episodes after all.

Tsubasa Chronicle 39: After the monotony of last episode I can’t say I was looking forward to this, but like a bitter pill, it had to be swallowed. The conclusion of the ‘bus world’ story, the episode brings us more stills, more dull vehicle and ‘road gang’ scenes and yet another time-filling sequence involving an insert song. The only consolation is that next episode sees a return to the main storyline; for a time I was worried that we’d be stuck on endless episodes exploring the bus route and the generic characters that travel on it. That being said, Bee Train are probably producing the first episodes of Bus Chronicle even as we speak.

Utawarerumono 21: Due to lack of resources, I have yet to see episode 20 in either raw or subbed form, but with episode 21 more readily available I decided to forge ahead anyway. Unfortunately, Kuuya and her rabbit-eared clan were something of a disappointment, with the whole thing once again coming off as slightly laughable and not terribly engaging.

Welcome to the NHK 6: I need to break free of this morbid fascination I have with the ED- I find it disturbing, and yet on some level I actually look forward to exposing myself to its horrors each week. Anyway, with that digression aside, this episode sees Satou take to the classroom on a mission to discover if Yamazaki has a girlfriend; it’s slightly painful and not as bearable as episode five, but the series continues to hang on in the red zone for now.

On a related note, watching this makes me feel as if I am now capable of writing my own game scenario- perhaps I have at last found my true calling.

xxxHOLiC 19: At long last, the gods of anime have heeded my fervent prayers, because this time week the animation is vastly improved; distance shots still aren’t great (and I doubt they ever will be), but close ups are aesthetically pleasing for the first time in a while, as the animators discover lost arts like “colour”.

Story-wise, the episode sees Watanuki, Yuuko and the rest participate in a very unique snowball fight; apart from the sight of a giant snow-Mokona it’s strictly average, but not dull enough to be sleep-inducing.

MANGA

Erementar Gerad (Elemental Gelade) 18-20: With Rasati’s story coming to its end in chapter eighteen, our heroes board a boat to another continent in preparation for the Viro arc (sigh). Nineteen brings us the obligatory pool chapter, before the action kicks off in chapter twenty with the long overdue arrival of Greyarts; even at this early stage, both Greyarts and Viro seem a lot more interesting than their anime counterparts. All three chapters are what we’ve come to expect from EG- light-hearted, fun, and fronted by some stunning artwork.

Fate/Stay Night 3-4: Despite not enjoying the anime that much by the end, my quest into the manga continues. This time around, the manga covers episodes 3-4, with Kirei explaining the rules of the game to Shirou, and Ilya and Berserker making their first attack. I’m not too impressed with the artwork- the line work is solid enough but the shading relies too much on screen tone and lacks the contrast and character it needs.

Fruits Basket 121: Another gap-filling chapter, in which Tohru and Kyo confess their feelings for each other- for once, I have few complaints and in fact very little to say.

Tsubasa Chronicle 126: I was happy to see CLAMP take a risk with a character and turn Fye into a vampire forced to feed off the blood of his prey Kurogane, but guess what- if he can get his left eye back, everything will return to normal. Not that I don’t expect everything to turn out well in the end, but it ruins the drama of the chapter somewhat to create a get-out clause so soon.

*NEW* Utawarerumono 2: Apparently chapter 1 wasn’t worth of being scanned, and if it corresponds to the Japanese chapter I’ve seen then it’s just a few pages of Eru, Aru and not much else. Chapter 2 sees Haku, Oboro and the harem wander the mountains in search of a fabled hot spring; I’m assuming that the creator was aiming for a tongue-in-cheek parody, which is unfortunate as there was precious little actual humour to be found. The artwork isn’t too bad, a cute chibi style that comes in a few grades below the original game art.

xxxHOLiC vol 9 c2: As it turns out, the events at the end of last chapter were just a premonitory dream- one that Watanuki inadvertently bought from Himawari. In this chapter, Yuuko takes Watanuki to a place where he can sell the dream, complete with a few extremely vague hints about Himawari, and a cliffhanger revelation about Doumeki. This is xxxHOLiC back on top form- interesting story, striking artwork, and even a glimpse of black Mokona.

Random trivia: Doumeki’s given name is Shizuka.

Hougen: Do we have to do this again? I know she’s going to knock me into the river.

Reika: I won’t be deprived of any time onscreen, even if it is just a flashback!

Reika knocks Hougen into the river again. Hiro and Mel watch from the shore.

Mel: What do we do now? Our HP is low and we can’t act.

Jerome appears.

Jerome: Never fear, my triumphant return is at hand! Jerome Power!

Jerome leaps into the water.

Mini-game digression: Ginga Densetsu Weed Water Panic! Guide your dog down an icy river filled with obstacles and other dogs. Make sure that your dog doesn’t get too cold or run out of oxygen! Choose from 108 playable characters, including twelve different types of brown dog!

Hougen, Reika and Jerome are carried downriver. Reika soon loses consciousness, and Hougen climbs on her body to get out.

Hougen: Gwakakaka- that should further cement my status as the ultimate lord of evil.

Jerome: I need to catch up to Reika- magical hero powers!

Jerome catches up with Reika and prevents her from drowning; both dogs end up clinging to a black rock in the middle of the river just as Weed arrives.

Weed: Just wait there in the middle of the freezing river for a moment, would you?

Weed equips a log and uses it to rescue Jerome and Reika.

Weed: Jerome, I’m the main character so I’ll go after Hougen

Jerome: Now that I’m on dry land again, I can use my special ability- Summon Allies! Now my allies will appear so that I can leave Reika in their care!

Cut to the main battle- Hougen forces vs. Akame leading the Ohu forces of good.

Battle message: The Ohu forces are gaining morale!

Some brown dogs kill each other; the named characters gather together.

Kyoushiro: Let’s leave the main battle to the unimportant characters and join Weed’s party for the final boss battle.

Meanwhile, Hougen is wandering around when he finds a stray member of his forces.

Hougen: Ah, here’s a random dog that bears a striking resemblance to me. Underling, wander around here and confuse the enemy.

Back at the hotspring, GB is guarding Gin when Kite, Buruge and Bat appear.

GB: Generals of evil, even though I am a low level dog and completely useless in battle, I will fight you!

Sasuke appears.

Sasuke: GB, it’s okay, they’ve seen the error of their ways and switched to the side of good.

Kite: I think I speak for all of us when I say that, although we have been unspeakably evil all our lives, it took only a few minutes to sway us to the side of good.

Buruge: We have finally come to understand the merits of love and friendship over evil and inevitable defeat.

GB: It might be too late to use you as playable characters, but at least you can go on the stone tablet now.

Switch to Hougen. Weed has gone after the underling, but Jerome is on the trail of Hougen himself. Meanwhile, GB randomly spots Hougen whilst wandering around.

GB: Hougen is much stronger than me, but I’m a named character from the OP! If I want to prove myself, it’s now or never!

GB attacks and fails. Jerome arrives.

Hougen: Who are you?

Jerome: Don’t you watch the OP? I’m Jerome!

Hougen: Oh, that Jerome- now I see the resemblance.

Jerome begins attacking Hougen.

Haven’t you read the script, you idiot? Only the main character can defeat me!

Jerome: I have to try anyway- it’s the only way for me to get some screen time!

Jerome fights bravely, but Hougen manages to overpower him.

Jerome: Damn this bullet in my leg, why did I have to be a real man and insist that it was left in?

Hougen: Poetic justice finisher! River toss!

Hougen tosses Jerome in the river. Weed arrives and jumps in after him.

Weed: Sorry, Hougen, but we can’t conclude our battle until next episode!

Jerome: Weed, why are you coming after me after all I’ve done- or rather, the one thing I did many episodes ago?

Weed: Jerome, it doesn’t matter what you do- you cannot sever the ties of friendship that destined main characters share!

Weed and Jerome flow downriver together and get trapped under a thick sheet of ice.

Hougen: Even though I’m destined to lose, I might as well return to the main battle for now.

In the freezing water, Weed’s body temperature drops rapidly.

Jerome: Weed, as the main character, you cannot die in the penultimate episode! Since I have committed many necessary evils in my life, the time has come for me to pay by sacrificing my life for yours!

Jerome does his utmost to keep Weed safe before letting himself drift away with the current.

Jerome: Named dogs briefly seen in episode four, I am coming to join you in the afterlife, better known as heck.

Whilst hunting around on the surface, Kyoushiro and the others pick up Weed’s scent. They dig a hole through the ice and find him.

Kyoushiro: Weed! At last we’ve found you and can join the main character’s party for the final battle.

Cut to Jerome.

Jerome: My final wish is that my fanbase is crying for me right now…well, don’t think that I wouldn’t settle for miraculously surviving this as well.

Only one more episode (and thus one more parody) remains! Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of Ginga Densetsu Weed!