“We’ve noticed that customers who have expressed interest in “Tokyo Mew Mew Vol. 2: v. 2 (Tokyo Mew-Mew)” by Mia Ikumi have also ordered “Essentials of Genetic Engineering” by S.K. Jain. For this reason, you might like to know that this book is now available. You can order yours for just £51.94″

I wonder, do people who buy the same manga as me get recommendations for physics textbooks?

Soutetsu no Aquarion

Welcome to a brand new anime fusion, one that sees Soutetsu Ibaragi of Iroha take over as commander of the Aquarion team. Obsessed with finding the perfect gattai, Soutetsu invites the bishiest looking teenagers to ride on the Aquarion, but who will be worthy of “riding” with him?

Pilots

• Akidzuki: A moody teenager with the most potential. Said to be the reincarnation of a legendary samurai.
• Kanna: A HARD GAY English boy who is clearly attracted to Akidzuki.
• Kakunojo: One of the rare women on the team- she vies with Kanna for Akidzuki’s affections.
• Shiranui: Not a particularly skilled pilot despite being obsessed with Gattai.
• Ebisu: A secretive pilot with a crush on Kakunojo, provides the obligatory character death partway through the series.

El Cazador del Taco

Forget El Cazador de la Bruja, this season the one to watch is El Cazador del Taco (The Taco Hunter), an adrenalin-filled tale of action, betrayal and oh-so-delicious tacos! Following the abrupt death of Amigo Taco Manager Schneider, his adopted daughter Ellis and young delivery girl Nadie find themselves in possession of his secret recipe for Ultimate Tacos. Chased by jealous former Amigo employees and rival companies such as Rosenberg Snacks, Nadie and Ellis begin a desperate journey south, hoping to protect the secret recipe until it can be delivered safely to the new Amigo Tacos production factory.

Heroic Age

“These wide angle shots are brilliant- it means we don’t have to draw detailed characters anymore!”

“RAGING HARD-ON- Utawarerumono style!”

“I told you training monkeys for battle was a bad idea, but no, you just had to try it!”

“Monster HARD GAY!”

“Is there a battle going on, or is it just the glow of distant fireworks?”

“THIS IS SPARTA!”

“If the monkeys aren’t working, maybe it’s time to get Tom, Dick and Harry in on the action!

“Cameraman, you’re getting too close again! Pull back!”

Random Thoughts: Rin Tohsaka

This week we catch up with Rin Tohsaka of Fate/Stay Night! Rin, did you ever feel annoyed that you had to play second fiddle to an inferior character like Shirou?

We all hated it, of course- having better personalities and character designs than him, but still having to play second fiddle to his pathetic ideas of justice and women taking the back row! Still, I got my revenge in the end, although I can’t tell you the things I forced Archer in order to humiliate him.

What was your motivation behind joining Shirou’s harem?

Purely screen time- I’d do anything just to increase my exposure and thus my fanbase.

Would you mind dishing the dirt on that whole “restoring mana” scene?

Well, since you ask, let me tell you this- Saber’s muscles aren’t just for show. She can go for hours!

And finally, what are your plans for the future?

I’ve been contacted about having an important role in a project called “True Fate” (working title), but I understand the creator is busy with other things, so it’s taking a while to actually come to fruition.

This Week in Anime

Freedom- home of Cup Noodle.

Do you like Cup Noodle?

“We all love Cup Noodle!”

Victory- made possible by Cup Noodle.

Ukyo dispatches an apple on an important mission.

The animators got bored after drawing two brown dogs, and gave up before the third.

“Don’t kill me- I’m an important dog!”

“You look like a common or garden generic brown dog to me!”

“How about a lovely cup of tea?”

Beware- fruit is always watching you.

Game World Tour: Disgaea

Fancy a trip to the Netherworld? Don’t delay because you’ve convinced yourself the conditions will be hellish- we actually have plenty to offer. Make yourself at home in the comfort of Overlord’s castle, where dedicated Prinny slaves will see to your every need. Venture out in the surrounding region to enjoy picnics and day trips, with all manner of exotic wildlife to observe (note: most plant and animal life is dangerous and liable to attack, so be sure to having a working knowledge of armed combat and/or magic before going outside). See how our judicial system works by dropping in on the Dark Assembly, explore the world within an item in the Item World, or just sit back and have your injuries healed by the experts at the Netherworld Hospital (fee required).

For the rare few who find themselves dissatisfied with the service offered in the Netherworld, the Dimensional Gatekeeper offers passage to the heavenly world of Celestia and even a connection to Earth via the Stellar Graveyard.

OST spotlight: Disgaea

Tenpei Sato helps to make Disgaea what it is with his excellent soundtrack, a collection of energetic and slightly offbeat themes, from orchestral marches to an understated lullaby with just the right touch of evil. Not every track hits the mark, with Mid-Boss’s operatic stylings overstaying their welcome, but overall this soundtrack is as quirky, catchy and addictive as the game itself.

Notable tracks: Laharl-sama no Sanbika, Hell’s Whisper, Mischievous Demon’s Footfall, Hysteric Kingdom, A Dark Race Becomes Magnificent, Witch Hunting, Beautiful Round Dance, Tomo Yo, Akai Tsuki, Running Fire, Planet X

Mini-editorial: Gaming- fun or completion?

The question this week is one to be debated just for fun- when you play games, is it more about enjoying them, or playing them to completion so that you can say you’ve finished them and never touch them again? I have to admit that for me, the latter was most important for a while, and even now there are games I persevere with just for the satisfaction of knowing they are finished, but even so, the end of the “First Gaming Era”taught me that collecting and playing games just for the sake of it soon ends in disillusionment and disinterest. And after all, whilst it seems all too easy to fall into this frame of mind (especially as you are equally likely to lose interest in a game if your relationship with it drags on for too long), if you aren’t enjoying yourself, why are you spending your spare time playing games anyway?

In Your Reflection

This week we have a head-to-head between two feisty blondes- Shinku of Rozen Maiden and Rozalin from Disgaea 2. Aside from their predilection for gothloli style dark red dress, both are headstrong females who find themselves bound to the male lead via a contract, and who wish only to meet with their mysterious fathers.

Fashion Police: Cloud

Since it’s beginning to get hard to find visual resources for Arc Twilight of the Spirits, I’ve decided to move on and take a look at another fashion-starved RPG- Final Fantasy 7. First up is the lead, Cloud, and whilst he may not look too bad at first glance, there are many things we must question. Why the baggy trousers? Why the one-sided ugly tin-plate should guard? Why the lack of sleeves and pointlessly spiked gloves (they look pretty stiff, for one thing)? And most of all, why would anyone strip the dead body of their best friend and put their clothes on?

Fashion sense: D-

Amusing Search Terms

who will tenchi marry: so far, no one

romeo gay anime: He’s more into HORSE than HARD GAY, to be honest.

“SchoolMate”: ???

Asking where you can find Mai Otome Zwei: will earn you six demerits.

hard gay soldiers: That’s every soldier, then.

ROMEO AND JULIET – FREE MOVIE PICK: I pick none of them.

hard might gai otakon 2007: I don’t really recall mentioning Otakon.

man watches horse do girl: you sick pervert.

how to draw cute anime dogs: start with Potato.

bathing scene rpg: Do you really want to go to all the effort of bathing scene tilesets and sprites? Just watch a fanservice anime or something.

cross dressing anime blog: Just for the record, I don’t dress as a man.

“boss audition”: audition now and you too can be a boss!

anime blog hard: Work hard, play hard, blog hard.

bondage action figures: admit, tj, you searched for this.

rahxephon ecchi: “Would you like to see my ‘RahXephon?’”, he whispered, pulling down his trousers.

hige and blue: Bluebeard?

tenchi airship: there was an airship?

manga+cats+girls: equals manga catgirls.

Busou Renkin penis episode: although we never saw them, they were never far from the thoughts of our characters.

akane girls nude: more nudity, eh?

inspire me: why should I?

an anime that is happy: I recommend Happy McHappy’s Tale of Happiness.

beyblade hilary show breast: this is more disturbing than the other Beyblade searches.

sexy anime: “Call me Queen”.

after yaoi and yuri love: Next is…BI?

get backers gay?: Afraid so.

Sometimes fate can be cruel. For example, I recently spent over £60 on single DVDs of Scrapped Princess, and now a cheap boxset has appeared for around a third of that price. I even looked for a boxset before settling on the singles, and there didn’t seem to be any sign of one. Damn you, Bandai- damn you, I say!

Reviewed this week: Iroha 13-15, Busou Renkin 21, Deltora Quest 3, Kanon 21, Les Miserables 3, Red Garden 17-18

…and in manga: Emma Bangaihen 6, Fate/Stay Night 6, Shana 9, School Rumble, Spiral Alive 2, Tsubasa 145, NHK 33-4, xxxHOLiC vol 10 c2

ANIME

Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto 13-15: Whilst episode thirteen sees the dramatic conclusion to the mix of stage play and real life events that Soutetsu has orchestrated, episode fourteen takes us on the aftermath, with both Kanna and Akidzuki choosing their next moves. With everything thus in place, fifteen properly commences a fresh arc, with Akidzuki and Kakunojo setting off on a journey together to seal the Lord’s Head- although Kakunojo seems in danger of becoming the stereotypical useless female tag-along at first, matters seem more promising at the conclusion of the episode.

Apart from some irritating funeral chanting at the beginning of episode fourteen (I won’t tell you who died, but suffice to say the chanting erased what little emotion I felt at their passing) and some grating singing in episode fifteen, this is a trio of highly enjoyable episodes, with some well executed action scenes and excellent background music.

Busou Renkin 21: Busou Renkin still seems to be stuck in plot limbo in this episode, resulting in a rather pointless fight between flame user Hiwatari and our heroes, whilst Victor ends up taking on a submarine. I can’t help feeling we could have done without this episode entirely and perhaps had something a bit more relevant to the plot, but then again not having read the manga I don’t really know if the remaining material would fill the last stretch of episodes satisfactorily.

Deltora Quest 3: It’s always a worrying sign when a series has to resort to budget saving stills and recap during its third episode, but that is exactly the fate that befalls Deltora Quest in this instalment. As Lief and Barda face their first real boss in the form of golden armour Gorl, the pace slows to an excruciating crawl as what was meant to be a battle turns into an extended talking session. Oh well, at least this series will be fun to parody when the time comes.

Kanon 21: With no new arcs to come, I’ve finally reached the point in the series where I can stop expecting Kanon to suddenly become good and just enjoy it on the basis of thinking up a parody explanation for what is going on. With Ayu gone, this episode sees Yuuichi finally spend some time with poor, neglected Nayuki, but can one girl ever be enough for a certified harem master? Complete with a car crash ending that initially seemed a little over the top until I saw the video of it happening in real life, Kanon 21 might promise a cliff-hanger to those unfamiliar with the franchise, but the rest of us already know how it will turn out.

Les Miserables Shoujo Cosette 3: As it moves ahead into its third episode, it becomes clear that Les Mis would be a solid and enjoyable series if not for one thing- its painful level of predictability. In this episode, Cosette’s miserable life continues, but at least she and Gavroche are able to make a new friend when they take home a puppy. Naturally, the puppy must be kept a secret from the Thenardiers, which, alongside such plot elements as having to wash Eponine’s favourite blouse which absolutely must not be damaged in any way, ensures that viewers don’t need a degree in theoretical physics to know exactly what is going to happen. Fortunately, this side of the story is at least tempered by the ongoing story of Madeleine/Valjean, who is in for a nasty surprise when old nemesis Inspector Javert becomes the chief of police in his town.

Red Garden 17-18: There are times when I have to wonder just what the entire point of Red Garden is- I call those times “the minutes spent watching Red Garden”. Whilst episode seventeen sees the others eventually find out they will lose their memories in the midst of a sea of pointless angst, eighteen is somehow even less edifying, with Hervé chatting to a restaurant billboard, Lise walking into the sea, and Rose deciding that life with her increasingly irritating siblings is better than blissful forgetfulness. There is a bit more to it than that, but it’s all so dull and needlessly convoluted that it’s actually hard to care, especially when the visuals seem to have lapsed back into ugliness.

MANGA

Emma Bangaihen 6: Bangaihen slips further and further away from the main story as this chapter focuses on minor maid Tasha as she goes home to visit her family and contemplate her future. Once again, as short and vaguely Emma-related stories go, it remains enjoyable, although the ending is a little abrupt.

Fate/Stay Night 6: With its recounting of the beginning of Rin and Archer’s relationship, this chapter certainly makes a refreshing break from the usually Shirou-centric nature of the series, but even so, giving Archer dialogue just demonstrates what an annoying character he is. A fairly innocuous chapter overall- nothing special, but not particularly poor either.

Shakugan no Shana 9: The mediocrity continues as Shana puts the PE teacher in his place (what other fate can someone who messes with the title character expect?), before the story slowly crawls onwards. Perhaps by the end of the volume there’ll actually be some action, but don’t hold your breath.

*CATCH-UP* School Rumble: For one brief, shining moment, I thought the School Rumble manga could take away the taste of the disappointing season two, but unfortunately, I was terribly wrong. Although I had hoped that many of the more pointless and tiresome segments of season two were just filler, far too many of them turned out to be manga material (Akira et al stuck in the floor springs to mind), and it only gets worse as the manga progresses past the anime. With a trip to Kyoto that involves a fight with students visiting from England, and a complete change in character for Eri, this is one series I cannot even recommend to fans of the anime.

Spiral Alive 2: Imari has just learned that Amanae, the most beautiful girl in school, is dating the boy she likes, but this no normal tale of high school romance- someone has just been murdered, and one of Amanae’s music boxes has been left at the scene of the crime. It may not yet be clear what the bigger picture is, but as a prequel to Spiral, excellent artwork and an intriguing story is all but assured.

Tsubasa Chronicle 145: Whilst Syaoran’s fight with Hikaru gets underway (fans of Angelic Layer should at least enjoy this part), we continue to uncover a little more about Sakura’s motivations- having used her slowly returning precognitive power to see a future she wishes to change, she has decided to travel to a specific world alone. Unfortunately, with the Infinity method of crossing worlds unable to determine which world the traveller ends up in, Sakura must also pay Yuuko if she wants to get to her desired destination- and the price is her extraordinary good luck. Somehow, Sakura without her good fortune (aka plot protection) doesn’t seem right, but we’ll just have to wait and see how this turns out.

Welcome to the NHK 33-4: To say that NHK is a series where every character remains stuck in their rut was perhaps a little of unfair of my past attitude, for I now realise it is actually more a case of them all getting progressively worse. By this point in the series, Satou, Misaki and Yamazaki all seem so far gone that the chances of them ever recovering are slim at best- it is certainly hard to believe that a scant few chapters ago it looked as if Satou might actually get better. Admittedly, having waited so long since the last batch of chapters makes this slightly more entertaining than it would have otherwise been, but reading entire volumes of this in one go is not recommended.

xxxHOLiC vol 10, chapter 2: After so many short chapters, it was a surprise to see this one running to fifty-three pages, although unfortunately most of those are dedicated to Watanuki and Doumeki repeatedly fetching water from a well- all the while watched by a mysterious, unchanging woman in a nearby house. Towards the end, however, things become more interesting when the duo enters the house to retrieve a cloth, and discovers the truth about the woman, leading to a cliff-hanger ending that may finally reveal a little more about Himawari.

Reviewed this week: Asatte no Houkou 11, Busou Renkin 15-16, Chevalier 13, Corda 7-8, Death Note 14, Deltora 1, Manabi 1, Gargoyle 7, Kanon 16, Nodame 2, ROTK 39, SaiMono 26

…and in manga: Fate/Stay Night 5, Higurashi Oni Sarashi 1, Tsubasa 141, Yotsuba& 43

ANIME

Asatte no Houkou 11: After the slightly disappointing episode ten, my enthusiasm for Asatte no Houkou was somewhat dampened, but fortunately, the series is back on form for this, the penultimate episode. Focusing mainly on Karada and Tetsu, the episode sees her attempts to confess that she is they very girl he has been looking for; all in all, an apparently gentle yet actually emotionally charged episode that reaffirms the series’ place in the Someday’s Dreamers/Koi Kaze bracket.

Hiro’s hair continues its insidious plan to take over his mind by robbing him of his vision.

Busou Renkin 15-16: Busou Renkin has never been afraid to breach new boundaries of crudeness, but for some reason, episode fifteen was the most stomach churning of them all. From the sight of tanned green-hair Kazuki to the hideousness of Moonface’s moon face, everything in this episode seems designed to leave the viewer feeling a little queasy. After tying up the initial fight with Victor, the action moves to the beach, where we are saddled with some rather disturbing scenes involving Kazuki and his friends in trunks- all in preparation for a new turn of events in which Bravo is ordered to kill Kazuki before he gets permanently stuck in Victor Mode. Unfortunately, even when it gets down to the fighting, episode sixteen cannot hope to impress- not only has a new regular been introduced in the form of the chakra user from the OP, but Tokiko is now little more than a cheerleader.

These episodes also sport a new Papillon centred ED; the song is a little cringe-worthy but I have to admit I prefer the video to the first ED. That won’t stop me skipping it from now on, however.

Le Chevalier d’Eon 13: It may seem hard to take a series I parodied in raw all that seriously, but Chevalier is so good that subbed episodes are always welcome. This episode begins the worthy England arc, seeing our heroes arrive on the tea-sipping isle and make the acquaintance of French Ambassador Guercy. It’s an interesting episode, but I’m all too impatient to see the rest of the arc translated so that I can fully understand it.

La Corda d’Oro 7-8: For the first half of episode seven, I couldn’t help wondering whether the dreaded training villa arc would ever end, but just as I was losing all hope, the series changed tack to focus on Tsukimori. Not only does his personality completely change from ‘heartless jerk’ to ‘you know what, I’m not so bad after all’ within the space of a single episode, but we now discover that his parents are famous musicians- so famous, in fact, that no one ever bothered to mention this fact until it became relevant to the plot.

Unfortunately, by the time episode eight rolled around, the writers temporarily forgot about the whole Tsukimori setup, and chose to randomly insert an episode in which Hino has a brief falling out with her two generic friends. It is always a bad sign when a series diverges from a dull and predictable plot in order to present an even more dull and predictable episode, making it ever clearer that this series truly is the sister of the dull Haruka and the plotless Angelique.

Death Note 14: It’s another day in the life of Justice Light, only now he has a whole new underling in the form of Misa. As Light decides how best to put this new resource to use, the series defaults to its usual exposition heavy mode, moving slowly but at least refreshing my memory as to the events I read about in the manga all those months ago.

*NEW* Deltora Quest 1: I love Deltora Quest; not because it is in any way good, but because I had good laugh at how utterly predictable a fantasy series it is. With a story ripped from any classic RPG you care to name, Deltora’s complete lack of originality is exactly what makes it so watchable; each and every minute is utterly cheesy and thus open to a mocking more intense than that of any parody I have ever posted on here. I’m going to keep watching this series for as long as it can entertain me in this way.

*NEW/DROPPED* Gakuen Utopia Manabi Straight 1: I only chose to watch this because it looked like it could be Pani Poni Dash: Ichigo Mashimaro edition with a touch of Futakoi Alternative, but as it turned, Manabi Straight is in the Kiba/Tokyo Underground class of series that make a hash of ripping off many others. This first episode sees an apparently extraterrestrial girl transfer into an Earth school and manage to become Student Council President in the space of an episode- unfortunately, I was barely able to concentrate it on it, and that was only partly due to the uncooperative mkv format.

Series ripped off by Manabi Straight: Pani Poni Dash, Futakoi Alternative, Gokujou Seitokai, Azumanga, Keroro Gunso, Binchou-tan, Ichigo Mashimaro, Tsuyokiss, Excel Saga

Gargoyle of the Yoshinagas 7: No matter what other anime-related disappointments I suffer during the week, Gargoyle is always bound to bring a smile to my face, and this episode, in which Dullahan arrives to live with Lily, is no exception. The colours are bright, the stories are entertaining, the voice acting is good, and Gar-san is the icing on the cake. I can’t say much more except to exhort more people to pick up the series.

Kanon 16: The longer I plough through Kanon, the more I get bored with it (and I apologise if this reflects in my parodies). As a new arc begins, it becomes ever more blatantly obvious that the series is a case of Yuuichi systematically going through every girl he can lay his hands on, whilst they abandon any other friends, relatives and confidantes in order to confide in him- simply because he is the main character. This week sees him turn to Shiori, who, surprise, surprise, is not suffering from a common cold, but rather from Sick Anime Girl Syndrome, an unspecified illness that forces her to wander around in the cold with a loose scarf on rather than braving the harsh environment of a seat in a heated classroom.

Nodame Cantabile 2: Whilst I enjoyed this episode a little more than the first one, something about Nodame still isn’t clicking for me, and most likely it lies in the characters. This episode introduces Mine, a student who prefers rock but for some reason plays violin at a classical music school anyway. With his violin jury upcoming, Mine is in need of a piano accompanist, and predictably enough, he ends up with Nodame. As before, I just cannot connect or care much about this bizarre and off-kilter cast, and until I do, Nodame can never provide much entertainment for me.

Romance of the Three Kingdoms 39: The Chi Bi/Red Cliffs arc finally begins in this episode, which gives us a long overdue look at Wu when God’s Emissary Zhuge Liang makes his way there to convince Sun Quan to ally with Liu Bei against Cao Cao. Cue some rather specious arguments between Zhuge Liang and the Wu underlings in what is laughingly called a debate.

Saiunkoku Monogatari 26: As mere mid-bosses, Soujun and Meishou find that their time is up in this episode, which reveals the true villain of the piece to be a certain pink-haired bishie. Whilst Sakujun continues to be deliciously evil, this is of a regrouping episode for our heroes as they come together in preparation for facing the next obstacle. There are few amusing moments, such as when Meishou’s generics stand around motionlessly waiting for Yougetsu to beat them up, but unintentional amusement or not, SaiMono remains on top of the pack- and as I’ve said ad nauseam, each episode only serves to leave me hungry for the next.

MANGA

Fate/Stay Night 5: I’ve stuck with this manga in the hopes of finding some worth in the story, but if chapter five is any indication, it isn’t exactly improving on the anime version. This chapter covers the aftermath of the first encounter with Berserker, whilst also fitting in a little about Rin’s botched summoning of Archer. I still feel sorry for Rin- she deserved to be the main character.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Oni Sarashi-hen 1: A manga-only arc that features on Natsumi (a character living outside of Hinamizawa who wasn’t seen in the anime), this chapter left me wondering why it even existed at all. Right now it seems like a pointless add-on to an already flawed story, throwing in another character and story thread just for the sake of it.

Tsubasa Chronicle 141: In this chapter of Tsubasa Chronicle…nothing happens. Well, to be perfectly honest, I could have said that about many of the chapters I’ve read, but up until now I’ve at least been able to find some small shred of plot or action. Unfortunately, that phase has now passed, and we’re still no closer to properly understanding why Sakura has undergone such a radical personality change, other than that CLAMP felt like doing it. All we can do is vainly hope that the plot can pick up speed and move from glacial to its usual treacle level.

Yotsuba&! 43: It’s time for another day in the life of the perpetually clueless Yotsuba, starting with her phoning her grandmother as part of ‘Respect for the Aged’ day, before taking a trip to the park with Ena. As always, the series remains simple, sweet and entertaining- it may go on forever, but for once, I don’t mind.

I can now exclusively reveal that the reason my blog is so HARD GAY is because I have Lui chained up in my basement.

As the days became depressingly short and winter tightened its grip upon the land, I had the great idea of summarising all the 2006 series I watched in one great ‘Annual Round-Up’; hardly an original idea since everyone likes to do it, but nonetheless a course I became determined to take. Little did I realise that such an innocent decision would lead to a massive fifteen page document that took over a month to compile; in fact, if I had any sense, I would take the lazy route of posting this over several days in order to avoid having to write anything else for a week or so. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, depending on your perspective), I’d rather just include it all in one guide so that I can get on with writing newer and more interesting things to spice up the inevitably dull and grey January.

I shall also take this opportunity to thank necromancer, whose screencaps made many parody posts and Tuesday Rumble sections possible, as well as my blogging ‘sempai’, who can identify himself if he wishes.

For once, red is not for generally poor series, just for the ones I dropped before the end of their run (mostly because they were generally poor). Series in blue are my top picks for the year. Links lead to earlier reviews, rants and parodies of the series in question.

STILL RUNNING FROM 2005
I’m only including series I was still watching in the New Year; several others had long since been dropped by this point.

Ginga Densetsu Weed
A bloodier canine version of a shounen action series, Ginga Densetsu Weed follows the adventures of young dog Weed as he recruits allies to fight evil dog Hougen. It ranges from dull and predictable to laughable and predictable, but the parody potential and novelty of having dogs as the main characters conspired to keep me watching this right through to the end.

Final words: It’s not good to be a generic brown dog; you always get killed.

Jigoku Shoujo
When it first started, Jigoku seemed like a compelling series, the tale of people driven to such extremes that they would accept eternal damnation in order to remove their tormenters. Unfortunately, it all became a little ridiculous and far too repetitive after about four episodes- not only did the basic concept of each episode lose a lot in the execution, but there are only so many times you can watch tales of revenge before getting thoroughly bored.

Final words: Revenge is a dish best served sparingly.

Karin
Karin is a strange series; it’s too tasteless and generic to even be mediocre, but at the same time it feels like it could be good- only I can’t really quantify just what is needed to make it better. The tale of a ‘blood-making’ vampire and her slow romance with a human boy could at least have made for light entertainment, but the inclusion of irritating supporting characters and the gimmick of having blood spurt out of Karin’s nose with alarming regularity are more than a little off-putting.

Final words: No, just no.

Mai-Otome

It’s hard to believe, but there was a time when I thought Mai-Otome was actually going somewhere; an illusion that was soon dispelled as the series moved into its closing episodes. Despite the numerous flaws of this series, it somehow remains memorable, burned into the brain by hype, wasted potential and the presence of fat grey cat Mikoto.

Final words: Fat cats may improve a series, but even their furry bulk cannot compensate for a lack of plot.

Mushishi
Although I took my time starting on Mushishi, I’m glad I finally got around to watching it, since it turned out to be one of the better series of recent times. An absorbing and atmospheric folk tale-eqsue collection of stories featuring the laid-back Ginko and the myriad strange phenomena he encounters, Mushishi is recommended viewing for anyone with even a passing enjoyment of fantasy, drama and slice-of-life.

Final words: If your memory is bad, blame it on the mushi.

Noein
When it first swept onto our screens, Noein seemed to be the sci-fi series that we had all been waiting for- a mixture of complex storyline, grandiose action scenes and alternate worlds that would surely only improve as it went on…or would it? Unfortunately, the studio was so busy spending money on CG house shots that it forgot that the series actually needed a proper plot (not to mention decent animation), and so by the end, Noein became little more than a pretentious but ultimately empty series that never lived up to its early promise.

Final words: The quantum mechanics of Noein is not clever- if you want clever, then come to some theoretical physics lectures.

Rozen Maiden Traumend
Given the excellence of the first series, another season of Rozen Maiden was highly anticipated, but somehow it just couldn’t live up to what had come before. Rearranging and diverging from the manga material led to some continuity issues with the first season, whilst the plot itself had numerous pacing problems. Despite promising that the battle royale Alice Game would be getting underway right from the start, it took nine episodes to get down to business, after which the writers chickened out of going the whole way so that things could be left open for a third season. Even the new characters introduced in this season were less than inspiring, although overall the series was not a bad experience, just one that did not live up to expectations.

Final words: If you thought dolls were scary before, wait until you watch this.

Shakugan no Shana

A tale of swords and sorcery mixed with high school romance and comedy, Shana proved to be a solid enough source of light entertainment, but unfortunately turned out to be lacking beyond that. Disappointing villains and a story that proved to be flawed on close inspection ultimately prevented the Shana from reaching the heights it initially promised- whilst by no means a bad series, it was certainly in need of improvement in key areas.

Final words: urusei, urusei, urusei!

WINTER 2005/6

Ayakashi
A collection of three separate folk tales collected across eleven episodes, Ayakashi promised period horror, but in the end, it brought only contemporary boredom. What would have been perfectly enjoyable as a three episode OVA became drawn out and monotonous in TV series form, so much so that watching it was something of a struggle.

Final words: Rap OPs never work- no really, they don’t.

Binchou-tan
Having convinced myself that Binchou-tan would be sickeningly cute, I avoided watching it for a while, only to predictably regret that when it turned out to be far better than I had imagined. A series that really does embody ‘simple and sweet’ Binchou-tan is a delightful slice-of-life tale that really needs more episodes.

Final words: Unexpectedly worthy.

Ergo Proxy
To be fair, I only watched a single episode of Ergo Proxy, but I never could bring myself to continue with it. Despite the echoes of Texhnolyze, the fact I neither knew nor cared what was going on in the first episode was not much of an incentive to continue- the animation may have been slick, but that could hardly make up for the lack of comprehensibility.

Final words: When people say ‘hard sci-fi’ they must mean pretentious, nonsensical crap.

Fate/Stay Night

Admit it, you want a Caster figure too.

There was a time when Fate seemed filled with potential; yes, it had a spiky-haired hero, but it also had the incredibly worthy Rin, not to mention the prospect of a hard fought battle of wits and strength between legendary heroes and their Masters. Unfortunately, Fate never lived up to its promise, instead turning out to be a combination of insipid characters, flimsy story, and Shirou’s harem exploits.

Final words: I will make ‘True Fate’ one day.

Hanbun no Tsuki ga Noboru Sora
A short and sweet hospital-based tale of drama and romance, HanTsuki was an almost overlooked series that turned out to be a hidden gem. Within its six episodes, the series managed to weave a tale that was bittersweet, heart-warming and entirely worthy.

Final words: Natsumi is evil.

Meine Liebe Wieder
Despite promising something in the way of a plot this time, the second season of Meine Liebe turned out to be an inferior rehash of the first, featuring increased angst, more HARD GAY, additional characters and Beruze’s latest puppet duke attempting to take the throne of Kuchen. It wasn’t bad, but it could have been so much more.

Final words: Ludwig-sama is an A-ranked bishie.

REC
An oddly addictive series about the romance between a voice actress and a salaryman, REC is enjoyable while it lasts, but is over all too quickly. In retrospect, it was perhaps a bit too angst-filled, but it made for an entertaining experience while it lasted.

Final words: Umai-ki!

Shinigami no Ballad

Yet another brief series, this time about a pure white shinigami and the people she meets, SnB was filled with character pieces, but was oddly short on death. Whilst it never really had the impact that it could have done, SnB was an enjoyable series that didn’t overstay its welcome.

Final words: The RPG episode was the best one, but the series overall gains points for the winged talking cat.

Pale Cocoon
Having been told that Pale Cocoon was somewhat incomprehensible, I went into it expecting not to understand anything, only to be pleasantly surprised at how much I could actually grasp (of course, the accompanying pdf file helped). A brief yet worthy glimpse into the far future, Pale Cocoon may be short on explanations, but is nonetheless a worthy snapshot of a distant era.

Final words: Watch it now, it won’t take long.

Hellsing Ultimate
It was the event that all Hellsing fans had been waiting for- a more accurate adaptation of the manga material that would surely blow them all away. Unfortunately, having realised that I really didn’t like Hellsing all that much, this wasn’t something I was inclined to keep following.

Final words: When are we going to get a good vampire show?

SPRING 2006

.hack//Roots
Hard as it is to believe now, I was actually looking forward to .hack//Roots- I was in the middle of my Item Completion obsession phase, and somehow I convinced myself that it would be a series that married the addictive qualities of SIGN with the action and faster pace of Legend of the Twilight. After several episodes of deluding myself, however, I came to realise that Roots was not so much a case of a train wreck as of the train simply not leaving the station in the first place. Characters came and went, but the plot never arrived- in the end, it was just too boring for me to watch anymore.

Final words: The origin of the screencap parody format.

Ah! My Goddess: Sorezore no Tsubasa
I’ve said it on more than one occasion, but a second season was just too much for the Ah! My Goddess- how much can you actually squeeze out of a harem story about a regular guy living with goddesses? Admittedly, it did seem like a bit of harmless light entertainment for the first few episodes, but it soon fell into the realms of the utterly boring, especially when Peorth arrived.

Final words: Sometimes, less is more.

Air Gear
I have to admit that Oh Great’s artwork is good, but since I’m not particularly interested in nipple shots, ridiculously oversized breasts or Bob Makihara’s penis, the actual content of his manga does very little for me. An unholy fusion of Tenjho Tenge, Ikki Tousen, Beyblade and Shaman King, Air Gear is the tale of spiky-haired Ikki, his buxom companions, and the rollerblading sport of Air Trak- or to put it more succinctly, it’s complete dross. No matter how much curiosity compels you to watch this, take my advice and give it a wide berth.

Final words: With breasts like that, those girls must get backache.

Aria the Natural

The first season of Aria was excellent, but Natural goes one better by doubling the episode count and giving us a full 26 episodes of sweet and heart-warming gondola life on the planet of Aqua. From the beautiful setting to eponymous fat cat President Aria, everything about the series is right on the money in terms of creating a simple yet absorbing world. Bring on season three.

Final words: Punyu!

Disgaea
Since RPG-based series are rarely worth watching, I wasn’t really planning to investigate Disgaea- at least until I watched the trailer. An ironically hilarious take on the RPG world, Disgaea’s trailer promised much, but the actual series itself delivered all too little. As it turned out, the reason the trailer was so good was because the entire series budget had been spent on it- meaning that the episodes themselves were poorly animated cyclical repeats of the same tired and worn jokes.

Final words: Pizza in the face? Excuse me while I try to force a laugh…oh wait, I can’t.

Full Metal Panic: The Second Raid Tessa OVA
Much as I like Tessa, this OVA didn’t really do much for me; aside from a select handful which hit the mark, most of the jokes fell completely flat. It’s something you watch for completion rather than enjoyment.

Final words: Dull, dull, dull.

The Gargoyle of the Yoshinagas
The tale of the Yoshinaga family’s animated stone guardian, Gargoyle may seem like a kid’s show at first glance, but it is nonetheless a highly entertaining story. In Gargoyle’s hands, everything from battles between stone monsters to talking to flowers takes on a new vitality. It’s funny, off-kilter, and eminently worthy.

Final words: All hail Gar-san.

Gintama
I only watched the first twenty-five minutes of Gintama, but what I saw didn’t really click with me. Apparently it’s meant to be a tongue-in-cheek approach to Shounen Jump, but I just couldn’t force myself to pay attention to it.

Final words: I liked that large white animal, but nothing else drew me in.

Good Witch of the West – Astraea Testament
When it first started, Good Witch seemed to be the fantasy series we had all been waiting for; a fairytale of intrigue and romance set in a magical kingdom. Unfortunately, within the space of a few episodes, Good Witch had become so bogged down with different plotlines that it was difficult to tell where it was supposed to be going. After continuing in this manner all the way to the end, Good Witch left viewers with plenty of story threads, but not much in the way of coherence- maybe the manga is better, but I’m not about to risk wasting money on it.

Final thoughts: It’s the sample book of plot directions.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni
It may have started as a tense psychological horror, but after the first few episodes Higurashi’s main draw was its sheer gore factor. A somewhat inconsistent series that mixed moments with greatness with more pedestrian sections, Higurashi may have only covered six of the eight game arcs, but spoilers revealed that the solution to the mystery was too obvious to be satisfying.

Final words: “It wasn’t me, I am not evil or suspicious at all.”

Hime-sama Goyoujin
Truth be told, I shouldn’t really be writing about Hime-sama- I only saw about eight minutes of the first episode, and I had so little clue as to what was going on that I couldn’t bring myself to watch anymore.

Final words: Utterly confusing.

Jyu-oh-sei
One of a rare few series which I picked up months after dropping it, Jyu-oh-sei made good parody material, but had little worth as far as entertainment went. The bulk of the series, which saw cycle-wear model Thor stranded on jungle planet Chimera, was average and predictable, but was nonetheless sheer excellence when compared to the laughably ridiculous ending. A rushed story with a nonsensical ending- if I hadn’t wanted to parody it, I would never have watched past episode four.

Final words: If you want to attain at least a shred of credibility, magical DNA is not the way to go.

Kamisama Kazoku

At first glance, Kamisama Kazoku looked to be the spiritual successor of Kamichu- a sweet and simple series about a youthful god. In fact, to borrow a phrase from a lecturer of mine, Kamisama was a very different animal- a series that ranged from juvenile to infantile in its fanservice laden lack of hilarity. After struggling all the way to the third story arc by virtue of the show’s worthiest character- Tenko- I realised that I simply could not take anymore and crumbled a mere four episodes before the end.

Final words: Look, Mama is naked in an apron!

Keroro Gunso: the Movie
Series-based anime movies are as formulaic as they come, and unfortunately the Keroro movie is no exception. There are a few entertaining moments, but not really enough to justify spending an hour of your life watching a story that has been done a thousand times before.

Final words: Giant Keroro is the worthiest aspect of this movie.

Kiba
Like Tokyo Underground, Kiba is one of those series that just seems like an inferior amalgam of numerous other series- there’s industrial word, pastoral world, summoning of destined monsters, and numerous other ideas that have been done better many times before. Roia was truly the only worthy aspect of this seemingly never-ending series- in fact, is anyone even watching it anymore?

Final words: Series and games ripped off by Kiba include Tokyo Underground, Ergo Proxy, .hack, Yu-Gi-Oh!, YuYu Hakusho, Dragonball Z, Pokemon, Hunter X Hunter Greed Island OVA, Mai-HiME, Dynasty Warriors and Suikoden.

Love GetChu!
Due to slow subbing, I have only watched four episodes of this series so far, but it has already proven itself a worthy source of light entertainment. The tale of a group of young girls trying to become voice actors, Love GetChu! does exactly what Kiba failed to achieve- it takes ideas used in earlier series, and combines them into a worthy whole. There’s a ditzy lead, standard personalities, a Maison Ikkoku style apartment and a hint of romance, but somehow it all comes together to make something enjoyable rather than tiresome.

Final words: Please sub more, or I’ll have to start on the raws.

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
Once an obscure series of novels, Haruhi catapulted to fame after its first episode captured the fandom, but as the series progressed, opinions became divided. Although there now exists a small but vocal “yay Haruhi great lol” group, still others (myself included) concluded the series with a more sceptical view on the whole franchise. The characters were insipid, the stories were disappointing and not at all helped by being aired in a random, non-chronological order, and the humour had all but dried up after episode three. It may have gained cult status, but I can’t help wondering why.

Final words: I did actually like the fourth novel.

Nana
The tale of two very different girls both named Nana, Nana was an interesting shoujo drama in manga form, but unfortunately the transition to anime turned it into something far more dull and boring. With the bulk of the series’ focus falling on ‘Hachi’, the less interesting of the two Nanas, Nana failed to engage the attention, and was eventually indefinitely put to one side.

Final words: Less Hachi, more Nana.

Ouran High School Host Club

The delightfully over the top story of one poor girl and six rich guys running a host club at the prestigious Ouran High School, Ouran delivered standard jokes with such infectious enthusiasm that it was impossible not to laugh at them. A fewer weaker instalments and too many episodes focusing on twin brothers Hikaru and Kaoru prevent this from being a pick of the year, but it is certainly worth watching.

Final words: Kyouya is god.

Ray the Animation

Ray is another series I dropped after a single episode, but unfortunately it didn’t really seem to merit any more. As someone with various family members in the medical field, ridiculous conditions like tumours that retreat into the heart when operated on are a bit too much to swallow, and thus this medical-themed series was not fated to last long.

Final words: Monster remains the only decent medicine-related anime.

Saiunkoku Monogatari

At first glance, SaiMono looked to be yet another period series featuring a girl and her attendant bishies, but how wrong I was. SaiMono is leagues beyond the likes of Fushigi Yuugi in terms of quality- this isn’t a reverse harem romance, it is an absorbing tale of political intrigue in the fictional country of Saiunkoku, blended with the the story of Kou Shuurei, a young woman dedicated to improving her country through breaking precedent and becoming a government official. Every episode of SaiMono is like an addictive drug, leaving you desperate for your next fix.

Final words: I need more! More, more more!

School Rumble Nigakki
After thoroughly enjoying the first season of School Rumble, I was looking forward to the continued antics of Tenma, Yakumo, Eri and the rest, but unfortunately, Nigakki failed to deliver. With its crazier humour and lack of plot progression, Nigakki soon grew stale, especially when it meandered into the realms of filler during the latter half of the season.

Final words: Please, let it end.

Simoun
I was actually looking forward to Simoun before it aired, but upon actually watching the first episode, all my expectations for the series were shattered. A poor woman’s HARD YURI version of Last Exile, Simoun features ugly snail-like craft that are not only powered by the pilots getting out of the cockpit and kissing whilst in mid-air, but also have special abilities like drawing pretty lines on the sky. With no discernible plot whatsoever, the series had to be dropped.

Final words: HARD YURI power is an eco-friendly solution to dwindling supplies of fossil fuels.

Tsubasa Chronicle season 2
Whatever it was that made Tsubasa season one so enjoyable (and in retrospect, was it really all that enjoyable?) seemed to have vanished by season two, which devolved into a slow and dull mix of lacklustre adaptations and mediocre filler, all animated in Bee Train’s trademark “stills only” style. When each episode started featuring no fewer than three insipid insert songs, it was time to put the series to rest.

Final words: Go, you filler bus! Drive along that road, carrying your passengers!

Utawarerumono

It started as a pastoral fantasy, only to slowly reveal its flaws and turn into a harem series with ill-fitting sci-fi elements, but nonetheless, somehow Utawarerumono merited its own addiction phase. The series itself was lacking, but it led into the game, the mini-game, the parodies, and sparked many ideas simply due to the potential the setting contained. Not a pick of the year, but notable for being integral to the life of this blog- even now “gwakakaka” is still going strong.

Final words: Karura and Touka are all.

xxxHOLiC
I love the darkly stylish xxxHOLiC manga, but when the time came to turn it into an anime, something seemed to go terribly wrong. The high contrast art style became a washed out version of its former self, stories were slow and filled with dull exposition scenes, and the overall result was none too tantalising. I completed the series out of loyalty to the manga, but in retrospect I would have been better off not to do so.

Finally words: This could have been so much better.

Yume Tsukai
At first glance, I thought that the story of three dream masters would be a touching slice of life piece in the vein of Kokoro Library. At second glance, I awoke to the fact that this was not the case; instead, this was a poorly animated and poorly constructed series of tales in which one of the main characters has a fetish for underage girls. Shrine of the Morning Mist simply blows it out of the water.

Final words: It could have been good, but let’s face it, it wasn’t.

Zegapain
Sunrise, when will you learn that churning out endless mecha series doesn’t necessarily mean that any of them will actually be worth watching? Apparently Zegapain improves later on, but the starving man’s Aquarion vibe given off by the first couple of episodes (not to mention the unnecessary nudity) was enough to ensure that I never actually reached those episodes.

Final words: The apples that appeared in episode one were the best characters.

SUMMER 2006

Binbou Shimai Monogatari
The evening before watching the first episode of Binbou, I read sixteen chapters of the manga, almost all of which began with a variation on “Mother died; Father ran up gambling debts and disappeared.” In case you hadn’t guessed, that is the setting for this anime about two sisters living in poverty, which is perhaps the most lifeless and half-hearted slice-of-life series that I’ve encountered. An angst-filled example of how poor the genre can be, Binbou went through the motions, but achieved nothing more.

Final words: I don’t know if you’ve heard this before, but Mother died and Father ran up debts and disappeared.

Bokura ga Ita
One of the first ever series to feature in my Weekly Round-Up, Bokura ga Ita’s tenure in my viewing schedule was nothing if not brief. A poor man’s version of Kare Kano, Bokura ga Ita featured all the angst and drama, but completely neglected the elements that would have made the series enjoyable. After struggling through a dull episode populated by dislikeable leads and a Nagato Yuki clone, I gave up on it.

Final words: Not my cup of angst.

Le Chevalier d’Eon

Despite treading perilously close to the realms of cheese, Chevalier consistently manages to deliver an absorbing historical fantasy despite its lack of much in the way of accuracy. The tale of d’Eon, a French knight who not only gets drawn into a shady underworld of magic and manipulation, but also ends up housing his sister’s soul, Chevalier’s only inconsistency in its animation, which starts well but soon goes downhill.

Chocotto Sister
Haruma has always wanted a little sister, and one Christmas, Santa delivers just that. Choco, as Haruma names her, is entirely devoted to her big brother, but unfortunately she is so completely lacking in life skills that she has to refer to a notebook. This could have been a passable slice-of-life series, but unfortunately it chose the route of excessive fanservice instead- when a series needs to use police tape as a censor, it is never a good sign.

Final words: What, you don’t like naked aprons?

Coyote Ragtime Show
Aside from its infamous turn as the “Great ANN Ad”, Coyote Ragtime Show is a series best forgotten- even the name serves a warning. A tale of MANLY men and gothlolis for every month of the year, Coyote Ragtime Show lacked anything even approximating worth; I went into it with low expectations and was still disappointed.

Final words: ADV licensed this? They think it’s good? Where is Kurau!?

FLAG
Years ago, when my supply of anime was less plentiful, Gasaraki happened to be one of the few series that I had access to. Despite appearing to be quite bland and boring on the surface, I forced myself to keep watching the series until I finally gained something of an appreciation for its intricate politics; with that in mind, I was determined to give FLAG- a similar series from the same creators- a fair chance. Unfortunately, once the novelty of having the story told through monitor stills and the lens of a camera wore off, FLAG proved to be a dull series with bland character designs and ugly mecha. I feel slightly guilty for not giving it as much of a chance as I did for Gasaraki, but then again, there’s more to watch these days.

Final words: Gritty realism with issues relevant to today’s society? Take it back, please, and come up with a phrase that’s less overused.

Hanoka
No matter how poor it was, I was confident I could sit through a series where each episode was only five minutes long, but as Hanoka went out of its way to demonstrate, that wasn’t the case. Animated in Flash, Hanoka looked like an amateur piece, complete with a generic storyline to accompany its unimpressive looks- in the end, it had to go.

Final words: Five minutes of boredom is five minutes too many.

Honey and Clover II
I loved the first season of Honey and Clover, and perhaps it was because of that that I was secretly sceptical about a second season; the last thing I wanted was for my high opinion of the series to be ruined, but unfortunately, that’s just what happened. Although it did indeed have its moments of excellence, H&C II lost points for focusing on minor character Kaoru before turning into some kind of “who gets Hagu?” dating sim (with added “Mayama the stalker”). Yes, I understand the deeper arguments behind the resolution and the characters’ choices, but it was simply handled too flippantly for me to enjoy it.

Final words: One word- disappointing.

Innocent Venus
Innocent Venus may have looked vaguely promising before it aired, but when it turned out to be a poor rehash of ideas from numerous different series (not to mention completely unable to retain the attention), the adventures of Jo, Sana and Jin had to be put aside. Thanks to this series, however, there are various unwelcome images that will forever be burned into my mind- the irritating pirate captain and his busty first mate; the Last Exile psycho killer team; blood pooling out of a man’s smashed faceplate and those ugly, ugly mecha. After the series finished airing, I did consider giving it another chance, but happily I think I’m over that phase.

Final words: I already posted this list way back when I was watching the series, but let’s refresh our memories as to the series IV ripped off- Last Exile, Wolf’s Rain, Kurau, Hunter X Hunter, Burst Angel, Mahou Shoujotai, Arc Twilight of the Spirits, Stand Alone Complex, Gasaraki, .hack//Roots.

Kemonozume
If appreciating Kenozume’s artwork is supposed to indicate some kind of superior taste, then I’m happy to call myself inferior; yes, technically it has its strengths, but on purely visceral grounds, I find it hideous. The tale of a clan of demon hunters, one of whom falls in love with demon, the relationship between Kemonozume and I was destined to be short from the moment they showed a man losing bowel control onscreen.

Final words: Sex and defecation- how mature.

Koi Suru Tenshi Angelique
With its nine brightly coloured bishies, Angelique was clearly never going to be marvellous, but I went into believing that it would at least offer up some light entertainment. Unfortunately, what I got was an insipid mess with even less plot than its sister series Haruka 8; unless watching a dull lead wandering around a castle and chatting to bishounen sounds exciting to you, be sure to avoid it.

Final words: It’s like a computer game in which you can’t ever leave the hub world and actually play a level.

Night Head Genesis

Featuring a pair of brothers pursued due to their unique psychic abilities, NHG had the potential to be a chilling and compelling series that would have been the spiritual successor to Kurau, but as it turns out, reality was far less kind. A barely comprehensible string of scenes that seemed to thinly disguise a HARD GAY propaganda piece, NHG become downright painful by its fourth episode, and was thus swiftly removed from the viewing schedule.

Final words: Give me Kurau and Christmas any day.

Otogi-jushi Akazukin TV
It was always abundantly clearer that Akazukin was aimed at a younger audience, but in the early days it nonetheless exuded a simplistic charm that was enough to keep it watchable. Unfortunately, as the series progressed with no hint of a plot outside of our fairytale-based heroes fighting magical monsters of the week, it all started becoming a little tedious. I haven’t actually dropped it yet, but I’m only a hair’s breadth away from doing so.

Final words: I hate those damned Sweet Phones.

Tsuyokiss
Tsuyokiss was one of those series I watched just because the name got stuck in my head after the “Great Tsundere Debate of 2006”. Unfortunately, after assembling a cast that was generic beyond belief, and throwing in some awful scenes about a drama club, it managed to drop into the red after just one episode. I had originally intended to watch a little more of the series, but when the subs dried up, so did what little enthusiasm I had for the series.

Final words: It may be Cool X Sweet, but it tastes more like Generic X Dull to me.

Welcome to the NHK
Just prior to watching the first episode of NHK, I finally started on the manga, and was instantly amused at its bleak comedy. As I well knew, however, Gonzo are not the best at adapting manga series into animated form, and indeed, no amount of optimism could disguise the fact that they messed up with NHK, somehow sucking out all the humour and turning it into a bland romance instead. Apparently the series improves in its second half, but I really didn’t have the will to keep watching past episode eleven.

Final words: Damn you, Gonzo, for messing up ultimate moe!

Zero no Tsukaima
Although the novels are quite entertaining, Zero no Tsukaima takes what could have been an interesting (dare I say Harry Potter-esque?) story about an Earth boy interacting with the students of a magical school and turns it into insipid, fanservice-ridden fluff. This was yet another series that I briefly toyed with picking up again, but when every cell in my body rebelled against it, I was forced to abandon that plan.

Final words: Guiche is no Tamaki.

AUTUMN 2006

Asatte no Houkou

Despite the fact that I have yet to watch the ending (which sounds quite bland from what I’ve read), I’ve tentatively given Asatte ‘Pick of the Year’ status for the ease in which it drew me into its world. It does have its flaws, but the series certainly deserves points for taking the age-old idea of having a child suddenly become an adult (and vice versa) and turning it into a compelling drama instead of playing it just for laughs.

Final words: The manga just sounds scary.

Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto
The final title to earn ‘Pick of the Year’ status, Bakumatsu was not a series I could easily get into; trying to penetrate just exactly what was going in the first few episodes was pretty much beyond me. Over time, however, it began to exert an irresistible lure; from the beautiful OP and general atmosphere to the refreshing novelty of a series set in period Japan that isn’t an action or Shounen Jump title, there is much of worth here.

Final words: Like Chevalier, it takes the cheesy and transforms it into the highly worthy.

Bartender
When I first heard of a series about a bartender who helps his customers by finding their ‘destined drink’, I knew I had to watch it for the novelty alone- and I was secretly hoping that it was one of those series that sounded laughable but actually turned out to be worthy. As it turned out, Bartender was the kind of series that leads only to boredom, fidgeting and irritation- especially when you try to swallow the fact that a mere glass of a particular cocktail can radically change someone’s entire life.

Final words: I don’t even like alcohol, so I should have known I wouldn’t like this series.

Black Blood Brothers
“Oh dear” is all that can be said to the prospect of yet another series featuring a moody bishounen vampire and his unhelpful sidekicks fighting against generic evil vampires, and indeed, BBB had nothing to bring to an overworked franchise. By the third episode, it proved entirely impossible to concentrate on what was going on, and so the series had to be abandoned.

Final words: I played Go through much of episode three.

Busou Renkin

Upon learning that Busou Renkin was from the same creator as Kenshin, I was actually looking forward to it- little did I know that where Kenshin was solid and sound, BR was the dumping ground for all the mangaka’s strange and twisted ideas. A standard shounen series filled with everything from the terrifying (Papillon’s thong) to the bizarre (Moon Face), Busou Renkin is far from great, but I watch it partially for Tokiko and mostly for my parodies.

Final words: I pinned all my hopes on Moon Face, but his special technique is a big disappointment.

Code Geass- Lelouch of the Rebellion
The latest stage in the search for that elusive good mecha series, Code Geass turned out to be yet another product from the dango-addled minds at Sunrise. Despite boasting CLAMP character designs, Geass proved to be little more than Gundam Seed Destiny Remix, complete with Kira, Athrun, Lacus, Flay, Lunamaria and more (not to mention added rip-offs from various other sources). Had I known from the start that it was going to be fifty episodes, I wouldn’t have struggled with it for as long as I did.

Final words: How many times am I going to have to say that the cat was the best part of a particular series?

La Corda d’Oro

Despite my bad experiences with fellow Neoromance series Haruka and Angelique, Corda’s focus on music made it seem worthy and so it was duly tried. Despite the extreme predictability and the fact that giving the lead a magical violin amounts to little more than cheating, Corda is an enjoyable series which mixes brightly coloured bishies with an actual plot.

Final words: Behind every good natured lead are multiple bishounen backing her up.

D. Gray-man
Although there was a brief period in which D.Gray-man looked like it might be the one shounen action series I followed this season, this poor man’s FMA blew it early by killing off its most interesting character (unsurprisingly, a fat cat which I have named “Big Boss”). The series never really recovered from this loss, and by the third episode, it was clearly time to put it aside and focus on shounen series which could at least be parodied.

Final words: Why is it called D.Gray-man anyway?

Death Note
Despite my quibbles with the second half of the series, I did enjoy the Death Note manga, and therefore it might seem quite odd that I always seem so negative towards the anime. Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is that the battle of wits between Light, a student with a notebook that can kill people just by writing their name in it, and L, the detective appointed to stop him, is simply too exposition heavy to succeed in animated form. Excepting those laughably theatrical moments when Light and L seem to phase into a coloured ‘Justice Mode’, Madhouse have done the best job they can with the material, but this is really a series that needed to be told through straight prose, not animation.

Final words: Justice Mode, engage!

Ghost Hunt
In case you hadn’t already guessed, Ghost Hunt is about hunting ghosts…or at least, standing around and arguing over what to do about said ghosts. Featuring the by now familiar ‘eclectic bunch of heroes’, Ghost Hunt seemed to be nothing more than the autumn’s Ayakashi- a series that made mediocre stories even worse by playing them at 1/3 speed.

Final words: Generic by name, generic by nature.

Hataraki Man
When I first read about Hataraki Man, it sounded like it could easily become a pick of the season- what could be more enjoyable than the tale of an overworked journalist? Unfortunately, my hopes for a superior slice-of-life series were instantly shattered by the first episode, which portrayed the main character as just the sort of ‘I need a REAL MAN’ woman that I really dislike, and surrounded her with a group of dull and generic supporting characters. A single episode turned out to be more than enough.

Final words: It’s strikeout time for Moyoco Anno.

Kanon [2006]

Given how much I loved Air, I was expecting Kanon’s ‘sad girls in snow’ to elicit the same feelings of enjoyment, but unfortunately, after the first couple of episodes, it was clear that Kanon just wasn’t in the same lead. With an overly sarcastic lead whose main pastime seemed to be verbally abusing all the girls around him whilst they smiled and asked for more, Kanon proved that its main worth lay in parody.

Final words: Yuuichi is one of the foremost villains of the era.

Mai-Otome Zwei
Like the very dango that Sunrise subsists upon, Mai-Otome may not be good for the health, but an unhealthy fascination draws one back to it. The first episode of this OVA sees an evil Shadow Otome start petrifying and absorbing various main characters, whilst Queen Mashiro and Meister Arika’s bond is tested to the limit in preparation for the angst, forgiveness and destiny phases later on.

Final words: At least we got to see some fat cats.

Maria-sama ga Miteru OVA
I enjoyed the first two seasons of MariMite, but having been expecting this OVA since around March, I had pretty much lost enthusiasm by the time it finally rolled around. Episode one sees Yumi accompany Sachiko to her summer villa, only for her week of HARD YURI to be spoiled by general apathy and evil lesbians. The next episode looks like it will be better, but this one was far too standard to truly entertain.

Final words: Onee-sama!

Negima!?
Although the idea of a ten year old boy teaching a class of thirty-one junior high students was never really one that appealed to me, Negima is one of those big name titles that you have to try just to say you have. With my progress into the manga going slowly and my knowledge of the first anime season basically nonexistent, this new series seemed like an ideal place to start. Unfortunately, our relationship was never destined to be a long one- the animation may have been good, but the story left far too much to be desired. With too many insipid characters and a divergence from the very manga arcs I was interested in, Negima!? had to go.

Final words: That ferret is creepy.

Pumpkin Scissors
Gonzo series must always be watched in case they turn out to be the next Last Exile, but as Pumpkin Scissors demonstrated, most of them have no hope of ever entering the same league as Claus and Lavie’s tale. Another FMA-lite tale, this time with Blonde Heroine 10658 at its head, Pumpkin Scissors failed to inspire to such an extent that it was abandoned after the first episode. It will, however, be making a comeback in parody form.

Final words: The Pumpkin Scissors must cut through the pumpkin-esque layers of corruption like a pair of scissors. I’m not kidding.

Red Garden
Another Gonzo effort, Red Garden is effectively ‘Gantz with girls’, featuring four teenage girls who have been revived after their deaths in order to fight slavering men. Despite being drenched in angst, Red Garden looked to have an interesting mystery at its core, but with each passing revelation the truth behind it all becomes ever more laughable and ridiculous.

Final words: KEITO! KULAIR! ROSU! RACHERU!

Rozen Maiden Ouverture
Great visuals and average story were what I expected from Ouverture, and predictably, that is just what this two-part special delivered. The tale of Shinku first met Suigintou and turned her into the psychotic witch we know and love, any enjoyment Ouverture had to offer was simply overshadowed by the amount of plot holes in the Rozen Maiden story.

Final words: More explanations, less ‘wtf’, please.

Shounen Onmyouji
After a poorly subbed first episode, my time with Shounen Onmyouji seemed destined to be short, but fortunately Yoroshiku saw fight to pick up the series, and it was a given a second chance. As the title indicates, Shounen Onmyouji covers the adventures of youthful onmyouji Masahiro, grandson of Abe no Seimei. Together with his destined powers and sidekick Mokkun, Masahiro set out to battle evil foreign demons from the West, but can he prove himself worthy of being Seimei’s successor? A surprisingly fun series that is, if not gold, at least parody silver.

Final words: Imagine how good it could have been if Bishie-Seimei was the lead, and Guren wore proper clothes.

Tenpou Ibun Ayakashi Ayashi
Yet another in a long line of period series, Ayakashi Ayashi is about…well, I actually can’t recall what it was supposed to be about. The only images burned into my brain are those of a disturbingly HARD GAY male bathhouse scene and a fight between two monsters, one with a head shaped like a wang, and the other which looks like three wangs joined together. With that in mind, is it any wonder I chose not to watch past the first episode?

Final words: I should have known that a series with ‘Ayakashi’ in the title was to be avoided.

Tokimeki Memorial
As the doyen of all dating sims (not to mention the one that gets parodied most often), it seemed only right to watch Tokimeki’s long overdue anime incarnation. After just a single episode, however, all such feelings of duty had long since evaporated in the face of the fact that this series was completely and utterly crazy and random- and not in a good, Pani Poni Dash sense. Apart from the chick in the first episode, there seemed little to recommend this makeshift collection of scenes, and so it was quickly swept under the carpet.

Final words: I think I’ll stick with Ukidoki Memorial.

Yoake Mae Yori Ruriiro Na ~Crescent Love~
If you discount the sex scenes, H-game CGs always look good. Anyone got any from Jingai Makyo?

A series that I wanted to watch purely on the strength of some promo artwork, YoakeNa follows the romance between earth boy Tatsuya and Feena, princess of the Moon. Admittedly, it did start out as light fun, but as the weeks passed both the animation and story quality deteriorated to the point where each episode was more an excuse to take a nap than anything else.

Final words: I dislike the series, but I need that figure.

Looking Ahead to 2007
I had planned to try my hand at the obligatory ‘winter season preview’ post, but when I realised that my three paragraph effort would be a firefly as compared to the moon of Hung’s multi-part season preview posts, I quickly abandoned that idea in favour of putting a few words at the end here.

To be honest, the coming winter season doesn’t really look that exciting- do we really need more episodes of Angelique, FLAG and Kamisama Kazoku, much less a remake of Ikki Tousen? Despite the danger of not enjoying the most hyped series, I can’t help looking forward to trying the Ichigo Mashimaro OVA and ‘Corda but better’ Nodame Cantabile; I’m also slightly curious about Les Miserables, although fifty episodes of that does seem a bit much. The likes of ‘chibi-HiME’ Venus Versus Virus and anything dating sim or virtual girl based will most likely be avoided.

Looking further into the year, we have the disappointing news that Bokurano’s anime adaptation is being handled by ‘let’s mess up the story’ Gonzo, as well as a Spring debut for the third season of Nanoha, now with less loli. And regardless of whatever else there is to watch, there’s always more Otome Zwei and MariMite episodes- what fun…

Join me again on Tuesday for the New Year Rumble.

For a long time now, I’ve wanted to rant about Fate/Stay Night, but somehow it turned into one those tasks that seemed best left until some asymptotic ‘tomorrow’. At long last, however, the time has come to turn my attention to the series and give it the shredding it deserves.

The length of time it took me to even start writing this rant perhaps says something in itself about the quality of Fate/Stay Night- where Mai-Otome, Good Witch and the rest demanded to be written about with some idea of promptness, the ending Fate simply left me so apathetic that I couldn’t bring myself to bring pen to paper (or rather, fingers to keyboard) to mention it ever again. At the back of my mind, however, I knew it had to be done, that my disappointment in the series would have be collected together into a single document, no matter how long it took, or how poorly written it might turn out.

As with its fellow trainwrecks, in the early weeks, Fate seemed to be blessed with no shortage of potential. The initial Curtain Raiser had seemed full of action scenes and intriguing personalities, and it seemed only natural to want to see their full TV series glory. And indeed, as the series began, everything seemed set to fulfil our expectations. A war between seven pairs of Masters and their summoned Servants with the Holy Grail as the prize- each one a legendary hero of a different class-what better set-up for the ultimate battle royale, an emotional and tactical extravaganza beyond anything ever seen before?

Unfortunately, such was not to be the case. Even at that stage, treacherous thoughts were beginning to invade my mind. What if the first half of the series turned out to be episode upon episode of ‘attack and retreat’ to keep everyone alive until death was switched on at around episode fourteen? What if our plucky and annoying hero, Emiya Shirou, used the powers of love, friendship and plot necessity to beat his worthier and more experienced peers? What if the whole thing turned into Shirou’s Harem Diaries? As it turned out, I was right to fear these things, and worse yet, they would be only the tip of a larger iceberg.

For indeed, as the weeks went by, more and more characters of limited depth and intermittent likeability were introduced, all destined to survive until death was activated at episode twelve. By that point, however, it was hard to care about such shallow characters suddenly turning into coloured sparkles or otherwise departing the storyline, leaving the survivors to join Shirou’s growing harem. Awful CG dragons, dull harem building, black slimy tentacles, crazed and illogical mid and final bosses- Fate had them all, and it wasn’t afraid to use them. By the end, all that could be said was this- “thank god that’s over.”

Character Summaries: the lazy efficient way to rant about the story

Shirou “I want to be Justice Man!”
I have a particular dislike of the ‘typical’ short-haired cocky lead, the sort who uses their position as main character to build harems and generally circumvent the usual rules of whatever world they live in. Unfortunately, Shirou is among the worst of the lot, an irritating character who refuses to let his servant, Saber, fight, simply because she is a woman (never mind that she is an accomplished swordmaster with years more experience than him). He is also at the centre of two of the series’ worst plot devices- the sheath of Excalibur within his body that makes him practically invincible, and his special ability to create anything he can visualise in his head. The latter is particularly ridiculous- in the fight against Berserker, for example, why imagine a sword instead of a flamethrower, immobilising block of crystal, or even just a very large anvil?

Saber “Honour, loyalty, and more honour”
As a legendary servant, and the reincarnation of Arturia (King Arthur, female edition), it’s no surprise that Saber ends up by the side of the destined main character. Predictably, Saber is the staid and loyal knight of justice who eventually falls in love with Shirou but has to return to her own time before she can settle in as first wife of his harem. At one point in the game, Shirou had to sleep with her to replenish her mana, but the anime takes a creative new route by making him destroy an incredibly ugly CG dragon inside her. Not so much a dislikeable character as a predictably dull one.

Rin “I want to be the main character”
Rin is one of the few things about Fate that can actually be said to be worthy- a cool and experienced mage with a fierce intellect (and a superior character design). Unfortunately, even Rin is far from perfect- for no discernible reason, she has a soft spot for Shirou, going so far as to use a valuable magical gem to revive him, and even summoning his heroic spirit in the form of Archer. By all rights, Rin should have been the main character, but instead she is relegated to the position of harem member.

Poor Rin, she deserved better than this.

Archer “I am the bone of my sword? Can I talk to the writers?”
Rin’s servant, Archer may be archer class, but for reasons best known to the creators, he shuns the bow in favour of a pair of swords. The white-haired reincarnation of Shirou (how could anyone count such an annoying lead as a legendary hero), Archer is forced to spend most of his time off screen in invisible mode, before sacrificing himself with a Bad Engrish final attack in order to whittle down Berserker’s life count. Oddly, he is then glimpsed in a duel with Shirou in the second OP, a duel that can never come to pass in the anime. To his credit, he tries to impart some wisdom to Shirou, but his younger self refuses to listen.

Ilya “I want to sleep with Shirou-niichan!”
The series’ obligatory loli-bait, Ilya controls the ultra-strong Berserker, but always manages to get bored or call off the battle if there is any chance of her winning and defeating a main character. Her primary aim is to become first wife in Shirou’s harem.

Berserker “…”
The hulking reincarnation of Hercules, Berserker is a convenient mid-boss with twelve lives (give or take a few inconsistencies) and nothing in the way of dialogue. His lives are whittled down via Archer’s sacrifice, Rin’s jewel magic and a convenient plot device sword created by Shirou.

Lancer “Why did the writers forget about me?”
The reincarnation of an Irish hero, Lancer must be applauded for trying to kill Shirou not once, but twice (and if not for the demands of the plot, he would have succeeded). Unfortunately, for the bulk of the series, he is forced to take an extended holiday in Ireland whilst waiting for the writers to remember his existence.

Shinji “Hahahahaha!! Does that sound unbalanced enough?”
Every series needs a psychotic yet ultimately cowardly antagonist, and Shinji fills in that role for Fate until his timely demise. He’s more of a warm up to the main event than anything important in himself.

Rider “Fancy a little S&M?”
The bondage queen reincarnation of Medusa, Rider gets to dress up in her dominatrix outfit and attack the heroes with her chain whips until finally death is switched on and she becomes the first to die.

Sakura “Shirou was mine first!”
Shinji’s sister, and Shirou’s default live-in housemaid, Sakura handles the housework so that Shirou can scout new harem members. She is later revealed to actually be Rin’s long lost sister, and even gets a turn as a bondage queen under Caster’s control, but by then, there’s little reason to care.

Kuzuki “I want to be EVIL”
A teacher at Shirou’s school with pretensions to evil, Kuzuki works with Caster (although technically, he isn’t her master). Both he and his mild backstory are entirely uninteresting.

Caster “I also want to be EVIL”
The reincarnation of Medea, Caster killed her original Master, teamed up with Kuzuki, and summoned Assassin to be a frontline attacker. Despite her superior character design, she chooses to remain hooded.

Assassin “Let’s have an action scene”
Default hired muscle for the Kuzuki/Caster faction, he is more of a samurai than an assassin, and a reincarnation of a hero who is fictional even in the Fate world.

Kirei “Let’s destroy the world- come on, it’ll be fun”
At the beginning of the series, Kirei is the arbiter of the Holy Grail War (he won the last one by default, but received no prize), and the go-to guy for exposition. Since he is a priest, however, he is naturally the evil final boss of the series, who takes pleasure in capturing Ilya and using black slimy tentacles. Master of both Gilgamesh and Lancer, his goal is nothing less than to make the world more exciting by turning it into a flaming bloodbath. Who wouldn’t want to aspire to that?

Gilgamesh “Saber is mine, Saber is mine, Saber is mine…”
The leftover Archer class servant from the last Holy Grail War, Gilgamesh has exceedingly poor fashion sense, favouring Gold Piros armour and a spiky haircut. His goal is to make Saber his woman, and to that end he too forsakes the bow for any number of swords.

The curse of being an even more minor character than Lancer: The above characters may seem underdeveloped, but they are nothing compared to such personalities as Shirou’s teacher Taiga, friend Issei, or the head of the archery club- each of whom seem to have some purpose at the start, but are forced further and further off screen.

Final Thoughts
And so, at its conclusion, did Fate leave us with anything except a bitter mixture of relief and disappointment? Not really, it seems, unless one counts the money casually spent on overpriced Rin and Saber and figures. Unfortunately, the anime itself fell far short of expectations, and so, after the “True Mai-Otome” (contrary to all evidence, I am still working on this) expect “Fate/Stay Night Remix”, aka “yet another attempt to rewrite the story”.

Afterword: 6 things that are actually good about Fate/Stay Night

1. Character designs and artwork (selected characters only)

2. Rin

3. Selected 1/8 and 1/6 figures

4. Next episode preview music

5. Shirou getting run through with a lance (why did he have to survive?)

6. First OP, “Disillusion”

After the sparseness of last week, everything seems to have returned in full force in readiness for the Round-Up’s one month anniversary. In light of all the drops of previous weeks, I’ve picked up a number of new series on the anime front, although unfortunately there are still many backlogged manga chapters waiting patiently for my attention.

Reviewed this week: FLAG, Ginga Densetsu Weed, Gokinjo Monogatari, Hanoka, Higurashi, H&C II, Kemonozume, Keroro, Mai-Otome DVD Special, Ouran, SaiMono, School Rumble, Tsubasa, Utawarerumono, NHK, xxxHOLiC, Otogi-jushi Akazukin, Love GetChu!

…and in manga: Erementar Gerad, Fate/Stay Night, Fruits Basket, Tsubasa Chronicle, Utawarerumono, xxxHOLiC

ANIME

FLAG 2: What I should probably write here is that FLAG is “an interesting and subtly nuanced portrayal of conflict” with phrases like “gritty realism” tossed in for good measure, but let’s face it- this episode was just plain dull. I was hoping that we’d get to know the HAVWC team, but instead we’re treated to a tour of their hardware and facility, before Shirasu gets left behind whilst everyone else goes on a mission. I can’t really say that much of this episode held my interest in any way whatsoever, but according to the preview Shirasu will be going to the front lines next time, so I’m going to stick with it for now.

OP impressions: The song is forgettable, but I like the montage of photos.

Ginga Densetsu Weed 25: In the days of yore, reaching the penultimate episode of a series meant some kind of urgency on the plot front, but no longer is that the case. This episode is more a breather before the end, featuring lots of dogs running around in the snow prior to the inevitable final boss confrontation. Nonetheless, its worth as a parody source remains undiminished- and with just one more episode to go, I must find something new to take its place (I’m considering ROTK, but please direct any alternate recommendations to the comments box).

*DROPPED* Gokinjo Monogatari 3-4: I’m not entirely sure why I tried to watch Gokinjo, but the manga improved after a slow start and so the anime had to be given a chance too. This time around, Mikako and Tsutomu make up, Tsutomu continues to spend time with new girlfriend Body-ko, Mikako gets annoyed, they argue…*yawn*. I’m also distinctly unenthused with the artwork- the character designs have all of the flaws of Yazawa’s work whilst retaining none of the charm; the backgrounds are chiefly a lifeless white; and what colours are used are horribly grimy, not unlike the sort of shades found after the contents of a paint box are mixed together by a small child.

The world must see just how bad the animation is.

*NEW* Hanoka 1-2: After reading about this, I can’t say I was expecting a great deal, but since the first episode is only four minutes long, it didn’t seem too much of an investment in time to try it. After you cut out the OP, there’s only two and a half minutes of actual episode, so understandably very little happens- our heroes appear, some giant monsters get blown up, to be continued. I’d like to say the graphics look interesting, but so far it’s more a case of amateur and flat.

Episode two is slightly better (and a whole 53 seconds longer), featuring the obligatory hero angst before Hanoka realises that as a destined main character she has little choice but to fight.

OP impressions: A decent OP overall, with a catchy instrumental beginning and end- a nostalgic reminder of my gaming days.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni 20: Another superior episode of Higurashi, featuring all the violence and madness we’ve come to expect from Shion’s continuing instability. This time around, the ‘answer arc’ lives up to its name by providing us with insights into the Watanagashi arc and what it means to be “demoned away”. With so many of its counterparts falling by the wayside in terms of quality (Uta, Ouran, SR, ‘Holic, I’m looking at you), Higurashi remains the one spring pillar of consistent strength.

Honey and Clover II 8: With any other series, the excellence of episodes 6-7 would have left me worried that the standard could not be maintained, but not so with H&C. I was entirely confident that this episode could live up to live up to its predecessors, which is unfortunate, since it fell some way short. To be fair, the scenes devoted to Hagu’s storyline were very powerful and moving, but before we could even get to them, we were treated to a misplaced ‘humorous’ section about Mayama’s trip to Spain and his latest stalking techniques. The episode also fits in a rather anticlimactic end to the Morita story, in which the company is bought back from its stereotypically evil president. Overall, some hints of greatness, but a hit-and-miss episode overall.

*NEW* Kemonozume 1: I think I set my expectations too high for this one, and a result it came off as somewhat disappointing. The series follows the exploits of flesh eating demons and the warrior family committed to hunting them, with the typical “demoness and human fall in love” occurring towards the end of the episode. On the surface, the story seems promising, but the lengthy exposition scenes, uninspiring characters and flat art style all serve to put me off. I have to admit that the action scenes are well executed, however, even if the best one involved a bizarre and annoying monkey.

OP impressions: An average jazz track accompanies simple, high contrast stills- slightly reminiscent of the Bebop OP. Could be a good song if the vocals were absent.

ED impressions: Spinning flowers and an average song- this time the vague resemblance is to the Texhnolyze ED.

Keroro Gunso 53: Another solid if not outstanding episode of Keroro, but I have to ask- when is Giroro coming back? The first half sees Keroro, Tamama, Fuyuki and Kururu visit various historic monuments in the hopes that they were built by aliens for the purpose of invading Pekopon, whilst the weaker second half heralds the return of Angol Mois and another botched invasion plan involving cherry blossoms.

*NEW* Love GetChu 1-3: I already gave this a rambling and poorly constructed post of its own, but I may as well mention Love GetChu here for completeness. I’ve yet to venture into raw territory, but the three subbed episodes have made for an enjoyable opening to the series; by all rights, this should be a hackneyed rehash of old clichés, but instead Momoko’s quest to become a VA is turning into an enjoyable tale.

OP impressions: A bit too cute for my tastes, but energetic and catchy nonetheless.

ED impressions: A walking rabbit plush and some J-dance/rap = instantly forgettable.

Mai-Otome DVD Special 8: Why, you may ask, given all that I have said about Mai-Otome, would I want to subject myself to another DVD special? To be honest, each time I watch one I wonder that, but I’ve come too far along the path of Mai- to give up now. This time around, we see Natsuki and Mai’s reunion at the episode twenty-three hot springs, together with a recap of Mai’s past and how she ended up in the Black Valley. It’s a lot less interesting than it sounds, especially as most of the story is told against a backdrop of silhouetted stills.

*NEW* Otogi-jushi Akazukin TV 1-6: After familiarising myself with the OVA episode, I’ve finally got around to watching the first five episodes of the TV series, and I have to admit that it was a lot more enjoyable than I was expecting. A fusion of magical girl and fairy tale with a touch of harem, the series tells the tale of destined main character Souta and his encounter with the three Fairy Musketeers Akazukin, Shirayuki and Ibara as they attempt to protect him from the forces of evil and their monsters of the week. Yes, it’s aimed at children, but the brightly coloured character designs and energetic music bring back nostalgic memories of retro gaming- a good choice for some straightforward and light-hearted fun. The only thing that I dislike is the Sweet Phone; it looks like the kind of plastic toy you buy for two-year-olds and seems a particularly pointless addition to the TV series.

OP impressions: An energetic and catchy start.

ED impressions: Not too bad compared to the usual run of ending themes; the song is oddly reminiscent of the Chrono Trigger Guardia Millennial fair music.

Ouran High School Host Club 18-20: Episode 18 sees the introduction of Honey’s brother Chika, and a flashback look into Honey’s transition from the demon captain of the karaoke club to the loli shota of the Host Club. A solid episode overall, which is only marred by the appearance of Renge at the start (sigh), and a few too many lines for the dull Mori- since there isn’t really time to develop him, I’d rather he just remained in the background.

Unfortunately, 19 does not fare so well; perhaps watching two episodes of over-the-top comedy in a row (and with rather mediocre subs) adversely affected my opinion of the episode, but it came off as quite a weak instalment. The overdramatic nature of the series means that it always walks a fine line between hilarious and tiresome, and unfortunately this episode fell into the latter category. The episode sees the return of the ever-annoying Lobelia Girls’ School after the Zuka Club abducts Haruhi to star in their latest performance- the only real highlight here is ever cool and calm Kyouya.

Fortunately with 20, the series is back on form, giving us an insight on the twins’ past and how they came to join the Host Club. I have to admit I was wary of what seemed to be yet another Hikaru+Kaoru focused episode, but it turned out to be a well-executed character piece that was largely free from any painfully over-the-top moments.

Saiunkoku Monogatari 10-16: To have one episode of SaiMono to look forward to is always most welcome, but to be shown the way to the rich vein of Shadow Dreams fansubs (thanks again, Impzie) is as much as anyone can ask for. Episode ten sees the surprisingly abrupt conclusion of the Ensei arc, providing us with some insights into his past but leaving further questions that will hopefully be explored later on. Before getting stuck into the next arc, we’re given a couple of side stories in the form of episode 11, which sees Shuurei’s Bishie Host Club rally together when she comes down with a fever, and 12-13, which introduce child prodigy To Eigetsu.

With that out of the way, the story continues in earnest as both Shuurei and Eigetsu pass their national exams and earn appointments as minor officials; unfortunately, with so many generic officials displeased at seeing both a woman and a thirteen year old pass the national exams, they end up having quite a difficult time of things.

If I liked SaiMono before, then this mini-marathon has greatly increased my appreciation for the series- I find myself increasingly drawn into the characters and storyline, with each episode building on the last to weave a complex and fascinating tapestry. And as an added bonus, I now have enough screencaps to work on a parody version.

School Rumble 20-1: There have been quite a few times this week when I’ve been left thinking “what the hell is this!?”, and this School Rumble double bill was most definitely one of them. First up is episode twenty- a tedious three-part side character extravangza featuring Imadori, Ichijou and her brother playing Dojiboron, minor characters discussing relationships, and cyborg Tenma in ‘Police Force Rumble’. All-in-all, a rather uninspiring selection, but as nothing compared to the follow-up episode twenty one- a painfully unfunny magical girl parody topped off with a basketball section that had absolutely nothing to do with School Rumble whatsoever. Over the last few weeks, my faith in the series has been slowly crumbling, and now I have to admit that it has been completely shattered, to the point where I wish this had ended at 13 episodes after all.

Tsubasa Chronicle 39: After the monotony of last episode I can’t say I was looking forward to this, but like a bitter pill, it had to be swallowed. The conclusion of the ‘bus world’ story, the episode brings us more stills, more dull vehicle and ‘road gang’ scenes and yet another time-filling sequence involving an insert song. The only consolation is that next episode sees a return to the main storyline; for a time I was worried that we’d be stuck on endless episodes exploring the bus route and the generic characters that travel on it. That being said, Bee Train are probably producing the first episodes of Bus Chronicle even as we speak.

Utawarerumono 21: Due to lack of resources, I have yet to see episode 20 in either raw or subbed form, but with episode 21 more readily available I decided to forge ahead anyway. Unfortunately, Kuuya and her rabbit-eared clan were something of a disappointment, with the whole thing once again coming off as slightly laughable and not terribly engaging.

Welcome to the NHK 6: I need to break free of this morbid fascination I have with the ED- I find it disturbing, and yet on some level I actually look forward to exposing myself to its horrors each week. Anyway, with that digression aside, this episode sees Satou take to the classroom on a mission to discover if Yamazaki has a girlfriend; it’s slightly painful and not as bearable as episode five, but the series continues to hang on in the red zone for now.

On a related note, watching this makes me feel as if I am now capable of writing my own game scenario- perhaps I have at last found my true calling.

xxxHOLiC 19: At long last, the gods of anime have heeded my fervent prayers, because this time week the animation is vastly improved; distance shots still aren’t great (and I doubt they ever will be), but close ups are aesthetically pleasing for the first time in a while, as the animators discover lost arts like “colour”.

Story-wise, the episode sees Watanuki, Yuuko and the rest participate in a very unique snowball fight; apart from the sight of a giant snow-Mokona it’s strictly average, but not dull enough to be sleep-inducing.

MANGA

Erementar Gerad (Elemental Gelade) 18-20: With Rasati’s story coming to its end in chapter eighteen, our heroes board a boat to another continent in preparation for the Viro arc (sigh). Nineteen brings us the obligatory pool chapter, before the action kicks off in chapter twenty with the long overdue arrival of Greyarts; even at this early stage, both Greyarts and Viro seem a lot more interesting than their anime counterparts. All three chapters are what we’ve come to expect from EG- light-hearted, fun, and fronted by some stunning artwork.

Fate/Stay Night 3-4: Despite not enjoying the anime that much by the end, my quest into the manga continues. This time around, the manga covers episodes 3-4, with Kirei explaining the rules of the game to Shirou, and Ilya and Berserker making their first attack. I’m not too impressed with the artwork- the line work is solid enough but the shading relies too much on screen tone and lacks the contrast and character it needs.

Fruits Basket 121: Another gap-filling chapter, in which Tohru and Kyo confess their feelings for each other- for once, I have few complaints and in fact very little to say.

Tsubasa Chronicle 126: I was happy to see CLAMP take a risk with a character and turn Fye into a vampire forced to feed off the blood of his prey Kurogane, but guess what- if he can get his left eye back, everything will return to normal. Not that I don’t expect everything to turn out well in the end, but it ruins the drama of the chapter somewhat to create a get-out clause so soon.

*NEW* Utawarerumono 2: Apparently chapter 1 wasn’t worth of being scanned, and if it corresponds to the Japanese chapter I’ve seen then it’s just a few pages of Eru, Aru and not much else. Chapter 2 sees Haku, Oboro and the harem wander the mountains in search of a fabled hot spring; I’m assuming that the creator was aiming for a tongue-in-cheek parody, which is unfortunate as there was precious little actual humour to be found. The artwork isn’t too bad, a cute chibi style that comes in a few grades below the original game art.

xxxHOLiC vol 9 c2: As it turns out, the events at the end of last chapter were just a premonitory dream- one that Watanuki inadvertently bought from Himawari. In this chapter, Yuuko takes Watanuki to a place where he can sell the dream, complete with a few extremely vague hints about Himawari, and a cliffhanger revelation about Doumeki. This is xxxHOLiC back on top form- interesting story, striking artwork, and even a glimpse of black Mokona.

Random trivia: Doumeki’s given name is Shizuka.

That being said, I wonder if I even need a harem anymore, for Saber has devoted herself to me body and soul; I am even teaching her how to cook in order to make her into a better wife. She has even expressed gratitude at the fact that I have entered her so many times, and of course, I hope I shall have the opportunity to do so again in the future.

Entry 22
Today I must offer up a prayer to the gods that watch over main characters, for I have been spared from death and am practically healed thanks to a most convenient plot device. Apparently, the sheath of Excalibur is within my body, imbuing me with marvellous powers of recuperation.

Lancer is also out of the way; not that he was much of a threat, but the fewer men that are after my harem, the better. Now all I must do is defeat the final boss, Gilgamesh, or rather, get the girls to defeat him for me.

Entry 23
Everything has gone wrong, horribly, horribly wrong. On arriving home, I was devastated to find that Kirei had damaged my beloved Rin and taken Ilya in a horrific attempt to sabotage my lead in the harem wars. Desperate for the companionship my lesser harem members could not long provide, I took Saber aside and let her enter me to retrieve the sheath.

With our bond strengthened, Saber and I resolved to put an end to the harem wars once and for all- she would remove the threat of Gilgamesh, whilst I rescued Ilya from Kirei. With the power of the plot on our side, I was sure we could easily snatch victory from their poorly dressed clutches, but unfortunately the path has been more troublesome than I envisioned, for Kirei has the power of unholy tentacles on his side. I only hope that I survive his ravages so that I may claim victory and conclude my diaries.

Final Entry
It is with news of a bittersweet nature that I pen my final entry; I have won the harem war, but as with all things, there was a price to pay. Through the contrivance of several plot devices (many of them created simply for this episode), I managed to escape Kirei’s tentacle rape prison and defeat him, whilst Saber was likewise able to finally put an end to Gilgamesh. In order to ensure that no other man could better my harem success in future wars, we agreed to destroy the Holy Grail; unfortunately, this meant that Saber had to return to her own time, depriving me of my first wife.

Nonetheless, I must look on the bright side of things; I have ended up with a stable harem of Rin, Taiga, Sakura and Ilya, and while that is not as many women as I had hoped to acquire, it is twice as many as I had at the beginning of this. And now, I will sign off, for Ilya is growing up fast, and I must make the best of things before she gets too old to fulfil her role.

Entry 18
On second thought, Caster’s actions were not wholly deplorable; on arriving at Ryuudoji, we discovered that Sakura had been transformed into a bondage queen, a perfect replacement for Rider. Now all I need to do is finish off Kuzuki and Assassin, and Caster can be mine.

Entry 19
I had hoped not to have to write this entry, but the worst has happened- although Sakura is back with us and in recovery, Caster was lost in the ensuing battle. It also seems that we have a new force to worry about; Gilgamesh, the surviving Servant from the last war, is determined to have Saber for his own! I will fight to the death (hopefully without the whole actually dying part) in order to maintain my harem.

Entry 20
I have come to realise that Saber should be the first wife in my harem, and thankfully Rin completely agrees- she even intimated that she would enjoy a threesome with us. Unfortunately, Ilya was unwilling to accept her place as a lower ranking member, but I let Rin deal with her whilst Saber and I enjoyed our first proper date.

Unfortunately, the date ended badly- Saber still insists that fighting is proper, and fails to realise that her role should be to see to my every need. There is also the matter of the Holy Grail; having invested so much time in her, I must ensure that Saber uses it to remain in this world.

However that may turn out, we still have one more plot device to overcome before our adventure concludes- Gilgamesh. Despite our differences of opinion, neither Saber nor I want him to come between us- a man with such poor fashion sense cannot be allowed to claim victory in the harem war.

Reviewed this week: Ginga Densetsu Weed, Higurashi, H&C II, Innocent Venus, Keroro, Mushishi, Night Head Genesis, Ouran, SaiMono, School Rumble, Utawarerumono, Kamisama Kazoku (sorry, but Aria will have to wait until next time).

…and in manga: .hack//4koma, Aria, Caramel Milk Tea, Furuba, Mai-Otome, NHK, REC, Risky Safety, Tsubasa, Bokurano, Fate/Stay Night Comic Battle.

ANIME

Ginga Densetsu Weed 23-4: A few episodes ago, I wondered how the story could possibly be dragged out to fill all 26 episodes, but Weed has managed it somehow by throwing in a selection of mid-bosses. It’s cheesy, predictable and filled with dying brown dogs, but at the end of the day the only reason I watch it is because it’s parody gold.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni 17: An aunt murdered with a baseball bat, a nice little family gathering where fingernails get ripped off, yes, that’s the Higurashi we know and love. This week, Satoshi’s aunt is killed, and when Shion goes out of her way to protect Satoshi from trouble, she lands herself in a whole lot of trouble with the Sonozakis for associating with such a lowly family. At least the Shion/Mion confusion is beginning to pass now.

Honey and Clover II 5: After the intensity of last week, H&C eases up a bit by starting off with a visit to a health spa for Miwako and Yamada, before moving on to check in on the rest of the cast. I couldn’t help thinking back to last season and comparing it to the latest episodes; back then, everyone seemed very close-knit, but now they’re all inevitably branching out onto separate paths. The episode ends on a heart-wrenchingly excellent note with Yamada coming to acknowledge her feelings for Nomiya, even as she admits that she didn’t want to be saved from her hopeless feelings for Mayama. Episode 6 can’t come fast enough; in fact, alien time travellers must make it their first duty to arrange for English versions of the DVDs and manga to be created and delivered to my house tomorrow.

Innocent Venus 1: Every so often, a series comes along where you sit there the whole time thinking “this reminds me of series x, that reminds me of series y” (and not in an intentional, Excel Saga way). Innocent Venus was one such series, reminiscent of .hack//Roots, Kurau, Last Exile, Wolf’s Rain and even Mahou Shoujotai, but unable to live up to the standard set by most of those titles. I’m somewhat pessimistic about whether this can rise above being a second-rate post apocalyptic sci-fi series with incredibly ugly mecha, but nonetheless it has somehow earned a second chance.

Keroro Gunso 47: A weak instalment in the Keroro line up, featuring two forgettable stories- one about Girls’ Day (which Keroro and Kururu decide to turn into a spiced-up Space version), and another about a visit from a singer with an afro. The most amusing part of the entire episode was the “How to Draw Kururu” ending.

Mushishi 24: An episode of Mushishi is like a drop of manna from heaven; next to it, all other series seem inferior (well, okay, there are exceptions). This time around, Ginko visits a village where the resident mushishi advocates the rather drastic measure of setting fire to the side of a mountain in order to eradicate a mushi infestation; can he talk her out of this course of action before she makes things worse? A weaker episode that is not up to the level of episodes 21-3 (in particular, the resolution seemed very fast and convenient), but compared to this season’s offerings, it’s still a worthy enough instalment.

Night Head Genesis 1: After establishing that this was not, in fact, a hentai version of Evangelion, I finally made the effort to acquire this, and once again, it’s a series that screams “been done better before”. Naoto and Naoya are brothers with psychic powers who are separated from their parents and taken to a mysterious facility out in an unknown forest. Flash forward fifteen years and the barrier that keeps them at the facility is disabled when ‘Elder Misaki’ dies, enabling them to begin their ‘great escape’. So far, I’m left with the impression of inferior male Kurau + Galerians + The Island, but nonetheless I shall forge ahead in the hopes that it won’t be as predictable as I fear.

Ouran High School Host Club 17: This week sees Kyouya take a turn in the spotlight when the poor guy gets dragged out of bed and taken to a “commoners’” product expo thanks to Tamaki’s latest wild scheme. After falling asleep and ending up on his own without either cellphone or wallet, Kyouya runs into Haruhi and spends the day with her- the perfect chance to see if he really is the self-motivated egoist he claims to be. It may not have Ouran’s usual brand of over-the-top hilarity, but still a strong episode by virtue of focusing on the Shadow King. I have to admit, though, that I wish Renge would stop showing up; that little joke has worn out its welcome for me.

Saiunkoku Monogatari 9: SaiMono can always be guaranteed to deliver a good story and plenty of characters with “Kou” in their names, and this episode is no exception. In the guise of “Shuu”, Shuurei is now working with the harsh taskmaster known as Kou Kijin (aka Kou the Eccentric)- a man who puts Hakuoro to shame in the mask wearing department- whilst wondering if her gender will always stand in the way of becoming a true government official. The story continues to move ahead briskly, but there’s no sign that it will prematurely run out of steam.

School Rumble 2^nd Term 17: Whilst Eri continues to dodge her arranged marriage with the help of the mysterious worker (better known to everyone else as Harima), somehow Tenma ends up going along in Eri’s place- reaffirming her complete lack of common sense, in case we had forgotten. A reasonably entertaining episode with a hilarious post-credits section in which Hanai gets on the wrong side of a giant raccoon.

Utawarerumono 18: The Na-tunk arc begins in earnest here, starting with a castle section in which Karura offers her ‘services’ in exchange for Haku’s help in liberating her country. What was an ero scene in the game is now reduced to Karura starting to take her clothes off; Eru happens to walk in and resolves to ignore Haku until he installs her as first and only wife. In the latter half of the episode, Haku takes his harem to Na-tunk to meet up with Derihourai, whilst Suonkasu sniffs his ‘special’ flowers and waits for everyone to come to him.

A lot less happened in this episode than I felt could have been included, and whilst I’m eager to see Suon and Deri (or maybe just Suon; who needs Deri when we already have Karura) get some onscreen attention, I’m worried about it encroaching on precious time needed for the final arc.

Dropped

Kamisama Kazoku: I sat through the tedious episode 5-8 arc in the hopes that the ‘evil Kumiko’ arc would be vaguely worthwhile, but as it turns out, the tedium of episode nine has convinced me not to continue. The bulk of the episode revolves around Tenko receiving a love letter and subsequently being plunged into a sea of angst as she wonders if Samatarou still needs a guardian angel. When combined with the sight of Papa in a cheerleading outfit, the fact that another ‘everyone’s memory is erased’ has negated most character development and the decreasing animation quality, the result is that my desire to watch to the end has completely evaporated.

MANGA

.hack//4Koma 3: .hack seems a ripe franchise to parody, but these four panel shorts do a variable job at it- some are utterly hilarious, others just fall flat or rely on *sigh* fart jokes. It’s also disappointing to see Balmung near deprived of his bishiness.

Aria vol 4 chapter 3: Another chapter to tide me over until Tokyopop get around to releasing the volumes I don’t have (kudos to them for snagging the license from ADV). This time around, Akari learns about the sylphs and goes on an airbike delivery ride with Woody. Excellent artwork, an unquenchable sense of wonder, and a fat cat- what more could anyone want?

Caramel Milk Tea 4- No. 1 Girl: Another one shot love story (just one more to go to complete the volume), this time about a girl caught between the difficult choice of going to Tokyo to further her modelling career or staying at home where she can be close to her boyfriend. As with all the stories in this collection, the outcome isn’t too hard to guess, but it’s still interesting to go along for the ride.

Fruits Basket 125-6: Yet more angst; 125 focuses on the budding relationship between Yuki and Machi, whilst 126 sees Kyo confront his father and conveniently put an end to the ‘Kyo will be locked away after high school’ storyline. Aside from the fact that there’s too much angst being piled on for me to really care anymore, the way Takaya is resolving the story just seems lazy- suddenly the curse is weakening and breaking and all the things that had such dramatic weight in the good part of the series are now being casually dismissed.

Mai-Otome 21-3: We finally meet Arika’s mother Rena, who seems to think that Manshiro is her child (a fairly unsubtle hint as to identity of Arika’s unknown little brother). 21 is an average chapter with the obligatory “Manshiro gets a faceful of someone’s breasts” event tacked on for good measure; 22 is more action based, introducing Takumi as the leader of Chaldea (Carlteya) and Akira as his Otome. Also making an unwelcome return are the Three Scale Sisters (last glimpsed in the HiME), but they soon fade out in the wake of a Midori vs. Akira battle. I have no idea if there’s even meant to be a plot, but the manga does actually seem to be improving slightly. 23 continues the battles, and sees Arika and Manshiro finally make a proper contract- that robe is a big improvement over the puffy pink anime version.

NHK 25-6: The various protagonists are all experiencing problems of their own, but the main event here is Satou as he descends further into a pit of despair; as a world of hallucinations claims him, he begins to believe that Misaki is a real angel. Aside from the panels devoted to characters other than Satou, this was a rather weak pair of chapters compared to some of the earlier instalments- although as always I’m torn between hoping the characters will be saved and not wanting the road back to be unrealistically easy.

REC 12-3: At least the anime director arc seems over for now, but this chapter was still fairly average; Matsumaru finds himself waking up at Tanaka’s house for the second time, and once again she tricks him into believing they slept together.

All this is part of Tanaka’s “destroy Matsumaru” plan (crushing men is a hobby of hers), and I have to admit that after chapter 12, I wasn’t looking forward to the prospect of it causing another bout of Aka-Matsumaru angst, but thankfully the storyline is resolved peacefully in chapter 13, which sees a long overdue strengthening of their relationship.

Risky Safety 1: After hearing this title mentioned a few times, the chance to find out what it was all about could not be passed up. The series features the oft-used ‘odd couple’ setup; Risky is an apprentice shinigami committed to collecting souls, Safety is an apprentice angel dedicated to saving them- and thanks to an accidental collision, they have ended up in the same body. The first chapter sees them chasing after a young man who seems destined to become the male lead; the art style and determination not to take itself too seriously reminds me of Disgaea- whilst this isn’t an endorsement, I will give it a few more chapters to see how the story unfolds.

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle 124: I haven’t read 123, but since I haven’t read 103-120 either it’s a small concern. In this segment, evil Syaoran-clone departs, Sakura cries, X characters appear to remind us that this is indeed X-Tokyo, and Fye’s life is in danger. I can’t say I’m too enthralled.

Caught up with…

Bokurano: My review was posted earlier in the week, so if you’ve read that you’ll know that this title has thoroughly impressed me. There’s not much more I can say except to strenuously recommend it to all.

Fate/Stay Night- Comic Battle: Ah, Fate, only in doujin manga anthologies can you really shine. The single chapter translated so far details a hilarious cooking competition (can’t go wrong with one of those) between Shirou and Archer, and quite probably gives Archer more development than he received in the entirety of the anime.

Entry 14
I should have known my dedicated harem wouldn’t leave me in Ilya’s clutches for long; as to be expected, jealousy moved them to come and save me. On the way out, Archer sacrificed himself to stall Ilya and Berserker which is doubly beneficial as it puts Rin fully under my control, and gets rid of a minor annoyance without any further action on my part.

Entry 15
With my own safety assured, I have finally been able to turn my attention to restoring Saber. I have long hoped for the chance to enter Saber and perhaps even enjoy a threesome with Rin, and finally my wish has been granted- although I did have to settle for some light foreplay and more of a spiritual ‘entrance’ than I had anticipated.

Nonetheless, thanks to my incredible powers, Saber is back on her feet, and I have begun to enact my next plan- that of removing Berserker so that Ilya can finally come over to my harem. Dearest Ilya, I know that this is what you want too.

Entry 16
At long last my dreams have come true- Ilya has willingly joined the harem, and she even seems content to sleep in my bed. I had to ensure the other girls didn’t feel threatened, but in the end they all realised that having to share me was better than having no Shirou at all. Anyway, to briefly go over the details- that presumptuous Berserker was trying to grope my dear Rin, and so Saber and I were forced to use the powers of plot convenience to create a sword and deplete him of his remaining lives.

Also of note is the fact that Saber finally seems to be making more of an effort to please me, although she does worry too much. For example, I really don’t mind about her muscular body; it just means that she has the stamina for those long nights. I have even begun having dreams about Saber’s past, a sure indication that we are getting closer.