Soushi suggests a bold new form of HARD GAY.

“Something the cameras can’t show.”

“Sorry, but I’m not in the mood for BI right now.”

“I just can’t reach a climax anymore.”

“Really? I never noticed.”

“I’ve been faking it recently.”

“I need HARD GAY more often than that.”

“You know where I’m hard, baby.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

“That’s how it should be for HARD YURI.”

“She won’t let me use Tsubaki for BI!”

“Sorry, but the techniques in that magazine just don’t appeal to me.”

“There’s BI going on over there- I must observe!”

“HARD YURI, BI, you name it- she taught me how to do it.”

“I knew he wasn’t enjoying it, but he agreed to sleep with me anyway.”

Maya realises that Kazuki is no good at BI.

“I want you to have HARD GAY with me!”

“…made our Pleasure much more satisfying.”

“I call it HARD GAY.”

“They are dedicated to Pleasuring each other.”

“Of course not…Hyper Self Pleasure isn’t nearly as gratifying.”

“I’m finally having Fafner!”

“He finds it impossible to get aroused.”

“It’s not that he can’t do it, he just takes a while.”

“Practise your HARD GAY for when he gets back, or he’ll put you to shame in the bedroom!”

“He may not have the stamina for extended HARD GAY.”

“Should we ask him to attempt the ultimate ‘Fafner’ anyway?”

“Kazuki wants to try it- how can I stop him?”

“All my frustrations melt when we have ‘Fafner’.”

“Let this be a lesson for being perverted enough to want bondage games with Kazuki!”

“I don’t want that any more- basic HARD GAY is enough.”

“They have learned all our techniques.”

“They know just the sort of positions I like.”

“Zhuge or not, we must expose our Liangs.”

“…since I last had HARD GAY?”

“Two hours!? That’s far too long!”

Ultimate “Soushi!” moment

“It’s desperate- we haven’t had HARD GAY in two hours!”

“It’s becoming weakened from a lack of HARD GAY!”

“I need to know my suitability for BI.”

“Whatever technique you request can be given to you.”

“Little did they know how Zhuge it was.”

“…in this cold and frozen wasteland? How desperate are you?”

“This is a necessary side-effect of attempting the ultimate HARD GAY.”

“It’s worth it for the Pleasure.”

“I have been celibate all that time, waiting for Pleasure.”

“We must hold your Zhuge Liang, only then will it seem real.”

“No one should be spared my love.”

“Soushi! Kazuki!” moment 3

“Through the power of HARD GAY, we are linked!”

“He cannot withstand the force of the ultimate HARD GAY!”

“You’ll turn our HARD GAY into BI!”

“Even my Liang is gone.”

“Do you mean we’ll never have HARD GAY again?”

“Soushi!” only moment 1

“You don’t need to shout, I’m right here.”

“…never take another lover.”

“Soushi!” only moment 2

“If I don’t find it, I can’t have HARD GAY!”

“HARD GAY, STRAIGHT or BI?”

“Next time, let’s go all the way.”

“Hurry up and give me Gun, damn it!”

“Soushi! Kazuki!” moment 2

“Initiating HARD GAY.”

“Don’t do anything that will hurt you.”

“Just lie back and let me finish the Pleasure.”

“What impressive HARD GAY!”

“My Zhuge Liang is attached to me- I couldn’t exactly leave it behind.”

“Their Liangs are now truly Zhuge.”

“I do not wish to discuss STRAIGHT.”

“I guess you won’t even consider BI as long as you have Kazuki, will you?”

Soushi invites Kazuki home for the first time.

“I can’t say much about the décor.”

“What more do we need?”

“I also have these pills to enhance the experience.”

“Sometimes I get flashbacks to particularly good HARD GAY at embarrassing moments.”

Isn’t the whole point of a final weapon that you only have one of them?

“I was impressed by your HARD GAY technique.”

“I’ve never known you to say no to an offer of HARD GAY, no matter who asked for it.”

“I just want BI, damn it!”

“Are you trying to tell me he’s just using you for HARD GAY?”

“I’m sorry, but it doesn’t feel appropriate to have a threesome here.”

“Well then, are we having HARD GAY today or not?”

“Of course we are.”

“That HARD GAY went on forever!”

“Humans do not have the stamina for excessive Pleasure.”

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve been so frustrated that I’ve had to resort to taking perverted photos with your camera.”

“Photos are all very well, but how would you like some real Liang?”

“…and marvel at how Zhuge it is.”

“She’s so intense in the bedroom.”

“I’ve been on the phone to New Wang in order to see if I can get some upgrades.”

“Once the upgrades are done, you should give it a test run with some Hyper Self Pleasure.”

“The prospect of group sessions is making everyone apprehensive.”

“If we don’t seem confident, the children will feel an added pressure to perform.”

“He’s definitely holding his own in the group sessions.”

“Well, what can you expect from such a Zhuge Liang?”

“I’ve been grabbed by a woman and I don’t know what to do!”

“Don’t expect me to touch a woman- even for your sake.”

“That BI was good!”

“My first HARD GAY was like that.”

“Soushi wore me out that much!”

“Hey Kazuki, fancy a group session tonight?”

“Your dad can join in too.”

“Liang to attention, I plunge forward into the unknown!”

Kazuki’s father attempts to flirt with his son, using one of the oldest lines in the book.

“I’m always ready for HARD GAY.”

“Am I hurting you?”

“…stop now, or go all the way?”

“If we wait, we can all have HARD YURI together.”

“Not really, these pots are just a front for HARD GAY.”

“Could I have one Liang, please?”

“All right, time for another group session.”

“If we want BI, we will have to take it!”

“No kinky stuff with the children, though.”

“Wooden Sword? Is that even popular these days?”

“We must introduce her to the ways of HARD YURI.”

“You’re right; she’s pretty attractive too- I can barely keep my hands off her.”

“Give in to HARD YURI!”

“I feel awkward thinking about women, and how they differ from men.”

“If it’s what you want, I’ll ask you to be my partner next time.”

“…but I really, really need some BI right now.”

“I called you all here for group DOG, and now the plan is ruined!”

“DOG? You can’t be serious!”

“DOG is an essential experience.”

“Even though we had only Ezos, we wanted to protect them.”

“…is HARD GAY.”

“I…had HARD GAY with Soushi.”

“We were only young at the time.”

“Why did I lose control of my feelings for him?”

“I bet you were jealous of his HARD GAY prowess.”

“He has access to techniques you can’t even imagine.”

“Don’t just stick it in!”

“Can I stick this in?”

“No, I tried that already and it’s not very exciting.”

“I don’t want to try out any strange techniques, thank you very much.”

“Are you saying there was HARD GAY?”

“How romantic!”

“I know you liked to be ready for HARD GAY any time, any place.”

“I sense that you’re having second thoughts about having STRAIGHT with me.”

“When the time comes for us to have STRAIGHT, I promise it’ll be so good you’ll swear you went to paradise.”

“Just wait for me until then, okay?”

“He’ll sleep with anything that’s got a pulse!”

“Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.”

“Here’s a good tip for bondage HARD YURI, Canon.”

“I’ve been thinking- it’s about time to turn BI!”

“I know my HARD YURI is good, but try to keep quiet or everyone will want some.”

“Uh, no thanks- you’re a bit too old for me.”

“I didn’t know ‘Fafner’ would be this painful!”

“Kazuki is much better in bed than this guy!”

“I want you to know that I’m rooting for you and Kazuki.”

“Are you sure you’re not just jealous, old man?”

“If so, you should know that he’s HARD GAY.”

“He’s bound to become a sex toy for our superiors, lucky bastard.”

“Look, they’re already probing his naked body!”

“I don’t want you to think there was any love between us.”

“…and that was sex.”

“It is most Zhuge indeed.”

“Hey Kazuki, fancy some HARD GAY?”

“Is that allowed here?”

“I will teach you many techniques.”

“She told me that a father shouldn’t feel that way about his son.”

“Is he ready to learn the advanced methods of HARD GAY?”

“Prepare to learn about methods you never even imagined before.”

“And that is to have HARD GAY.”

“Might as well make it a group session.”

“A group session? I cannot allow such a thing!”

“…is his beloved Soushi.”

“It will only hurt more that way.”

“This was supposed to be a private session!”

“Is he HARD GAY, BI or –heaven forbid- STRAIGHT?”

“I’m sorry, but you have been selected to entertain the old lady tonight.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell anyone about our childhood HARD GAY?”

“Because of my lack of skill, I hurt you!”

“You must be so angry that I had my way with you!”

“He is glad you were the first one to have HARD GAY with him.”

Kazuki thinks back to that traumatic first HARD GAY experience.

“It is called HARD GAY.”

“Let’s do it.”

“Our bedrooms, the back of a car, a park bench- anywhere will do!”

“HARD GAY, BI or STRAIGHT?”

“I just wanted some quiet BI, but now everyone knows what we’ve been doing!”

“I’m not getting enough BI!”

“Make do with what you have, you nymphomaniac!”

HITS

Fafner in the Azure

The illegitimate offspring of RahXephon and Evangelion (with elements that make just as little sense on close inspection as certain parts of those two series), Fafner is nonetheless one of the more enjoyable mecha series out there. With its top notch animation, excellent soundtrack and intriguing storyline, Fafner creates a world so appealing that viewers cannot help but be drawn in despite its flaws. It may be more a case of presentation and potential than what the series actually delivers, but Fafner should not be overlooked.

Memorable moments: “Kazuki!!”, “Soushi!!”

Martian Successor Nadesico
Another series that remained entertaining whilst being far from perfect, Nadesico was one of the series I watched back when I was an anime novice, and it remains a good starter series for fans even to this day. Despite a slide into weakness into its last few episodes, Nadesico was a decent example of light entertainment that gave the mecha genre a much needed ribbing.

Memorable moments: Akito being one of the very few mecha pilots to have to deal with inertia.

Dai-Guard
Dai-Guard parodied the retro robot series of yore, which, combined with the premise of office workers saving the world, was a recipe for mild success. If nothing special, the series could at least be counted on for a healthy dose of light entertainment that belied its simplistic and sometimes budget saving animation.

Memorable moments: Dai-Guard losing an arm in various battles.

NEUTRAL

Elemental Gelade

Many people deride EG for ruining the manga storyline, but whilst I cannot exactly justify calling it a hit, I do quite enjoy it for its enjoyable simplicity and brightly coloured character designs. The story may be hideously flawed and often generic, and the animation is clearly on a drive to save as much money as possible, but there’s still that essential ‘easy watching’ quality to it.

Zoids
For a series made to sell toys, the early seasons of Zoids not only attempted to have some sort of plot, but followed the almost universal trend of offering a measure of light entertainment. And I have to admit that it did influence me to buy some of the toys, so its mission was accomplished.

MISSES

Busou Renkin
Once, Busou Renkin seemed like just another generic Shounen Jump series, but as we soon came to learn, it was worse than that, for it also had copious amounts of crude jokes and so-called ‘manservice’. For anyone lacking a fetish for men in revealing swimwear, Busou Renkin held little first watch value, let alone replay value- even I watched it primarily for the parody angle.

D.N.Angel

I was drawn to DNAngel because of the character designs, but unfortunately it failed me when it came to actually giving me some kind of plot. Despite my continual hopes that a darker main story would kick in ‘next episode’, the series blundered along its lightweight fashion throughout, offering tediously unfunny ‘comedy’, pointless and irritating characters and far more vacation episodes than it ever needed. A thoroughly disappointing case of squandered potential.

Love Hina
Ah, Love Hina, how could I forget a show that sapped so many irreplaceable brain cells? A hideously repetitive cycle of Keitaro continually messing up and upsetting Naru every time she seemed to be warming up to him, Love Hina could have been a touching slice of life tale, but instead it chose to go down the path of crazy humour and overused jokes. Four episodes was manageable, twenty-four was far too many.

MegaMan NT Warrior
I have to admit I have only seen the edited English dub of this, but while it may well be a classic in original form, I somehow doubt that it will be much more than a simplistically animated shounen tale of one boy and his destined computer program fighting other boys and their less destined computer programs.

Shaman King

As Shounen Jump series go, Shaman King actually didn’t seem too bad at first- a mixture of light entertainment and mystical battles. Unfortunately, it all went horribly wrong when the shaman tournament properly began, with a fillerific journey to first find where it was being held, followed by pointless fights such as one against a group of shaman wearing tight wetsuits. A tournament arc in an anime is one thing, but making an entire series out of a tournament probably wasn’t the best of ideas.

The Third
A series so dull and forgettable I even forgot to write about it in the Annual Round-Up, The Third’s generic characters and giant insects ensured that it did not last for long in the viewing schedule- and by the time the last few episodes rolled around, even the animation quality had gone downhill.

Final Thoughts
With the possible exception of Fafner, Xebec has yet to produce anything truly worthy and memorable, with their strength lying in light entertainment, and their weakness stemming from pretty much anything involving a manga adaptation. Is this general level of mediocrity all the studio has to offer, or can this season’s Heroic Age possibly be the exception to the rule?