In the not-too-distant future, the Good for You party has come to power, complete with a policy of promoting healthy foods and banning snacks, flavourings and even chocolate. It’s a case of a nanny state gone too far, and as with Prohibition, the people aren’t about to stand for it- instead banding together to resist this draconian legislation by setting up a ‘Chocolate Underground’.

In my last review, I spoke of how Chi’s Sweet Home proved that even a few minutes per episode was enough to tell a cute and endearing story. In Chocolate Underground, we see the other extreme- a batch of short instalments that went nowhere up until the end, all the while wasting time practically giving the next episode away in its disproportionately long previews.

The sad thing is that as a lover of chocolate, I was genuinely looking forward to scenes of delicious confectionary being made- but unfortunately, there was very little of that to be had. Instead, what we started with was an interminably slow tale about two young boys named Smudger and Huntly as their desperation to get Valentines’ Day chocolate leads to them discovering the location of the ‘Chocolate Underground’ mere moments before it gets raided by the Chocolate Police (if you think that’s ridiculous, wait until you hear about the CACAO system they use to remotely detect chocolate). Somehow, this one simple sequence of events manages to take up about half the series, leaving viewers to wonder if the writers had any intention of accomplishing anything at all with the series.

Unfortunately, in order to make up for this, the later episodes pack so much in that the series moves from the dull to the ridiculous. All of a sudden our heroes have set up their own Chocolate Underground, but when a classmate tips off the Chocolate Police, another tiresome raid takes place. Before you know it, one of our leads has been taken into custody, sparking off an unrealistic and surprisingly swift rebellion that seems to suggest that the Good for You party only had about ten easily overpowered members anyway. Suffice to say that by the end of all this, your chances of caring about either the story or its bland, featureless characters are slim to none.

Visually, Chocolate Underground isn’t much to speak of- character designs are uninspiring and the animation budget is distinctly limited. The ending theme is ever so slightly catchy in places, but in general the music is equally mediocre.

Final Thoughts

Despite the promise of delicious confectionary, Chocolate Underground turned out to be a tasteless waste of thirteen episodes, going nowhere for ages before heading off into the realms of the completely stupid. It may not take a great deal of time to watch it all, but that’s still time that could be better spent elsewhere.

Tier: Wood

How embarrassing for him.

Real life keeps interfering with catch-up! How dare it?

Reviewed this week: Allison and Lillia 16, Amuri in Star Ocean 2, Chocolate Underground 8, Detroit Metal City 4, Gunslinger Girl –Il Teatrino 9, Itazura na Kiss 22-3, Koihime Musou 10, Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 19, Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu 10, Ryoko’s Case File 10, Slayers Revolution 10-11, Soul Eater 23, Wagaya no Oinari-sama 18, World Destruction 11

…and in manga: Doujin Work 23-5, FMA 87

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

1. Chi’s Sweet Home (1)- cuteness overload
2. Hidamari Sketch x365 (2) – 365 times the fun
3. Soul Eater (3) – Krona
4. Xam’d- Lost Memories (4) – Humanform
5. Natsume Yuujinchou (5) – can a fat cat get too fat?
6. Detroit Metal City (6) – I’m gonna f***ing raep you!
7. Wagaya no Oinari-sama (7) – pure white oni
8. Nabari no Ou (8) – tranquil aid to meditation
9. Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu (9) – cliché
10. Slayers Revolution (10) – Dragon Slave
11. Koihime Musou (11) – Sun Shang Xiang
12. Antique Bakery (12) – father
13. Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (13) – Fantastic Voyage
14. Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ (14) – magic can’t do everything
15. Ryoko’s Case File (15) – attack of the killer mangrove
16. Itazura na Kiss (16) – dislikeable cast
17. World Destruction (17) – some stuff happened

SLOW RANKINGS

1. Tetsuko no Tabi (1)- is this ever going to be subbed?
2. Love GetChu! (2)- voice acting isn’t easy
3. Gunslinger Girl- Il teatrino (3)- Claes
4. Sisters of Wellber Zwei (4) – love triangle
5. Himawari!! (5) – needs less plot
6. Real Drive (6) – demoted to slow
7. Himitsu (7) – demoted to slow
8. Allison and Lillia (8) – seaplane
9. Chocolate Underground (-) – demoted to slow

Allison and Lillia 16: It’s been so long since we’ve had an episode of Allison and Lillia that I feared I’d forget the plot, but I’m not sure what I was worried about- not only is the plot completely nonsensical, but it all came flooding back within moments. Having survived the events of last episode by leaving several generics stranded, Lillia and Treize immediately board another plane whilst Wil Travas watches from afar and does very little to stop them. For some reason, this seaplane filled with orphans is a target for attackers who want to shoot it down (why? Are the orphans drug mules?), and when the cabin crew randomly decide to bail out, Lillia and Treize are left to pilot it. It doesn’t make any sense to me, but I love making fun of it, and reading blog posts like this.

Amuri in Star Ocean 2: Even though it hasn’t really improved in any discernible way, for some reason I enjoyed the second episode of this OVA a lot more. Now that Amuri can use her special powers, she is able to fend off the standard weaponry, but when an artificial life form made from her cells nullifies her ability, it falls to Suzu to find the courage to fight back. Meanwhile, Perrier (who will presumably be spotlighted in the third episode) must struggle with her own fears and the spectre of her sister.

Chocolate Underground 8: Thanks to last episode’s tip-off, the Chocolate Police raid Smudger and Huntly’s Chocolate Underground, but happily for all concerned, a special double basement layout allows them to pass themselves off as an innocent study group. Of course, the preview then reveals that in episode nine they will get discovered anyway, so apart from showing us some tasty chocolate, there’s not much here to recommend the series.

Detroit Metal City 4: DMC have been asked to do an interview with Tetrapod Melon Tea, putting Negishi in a dilemma when he learns that not only is TMT the kind of band he’d rather be in, but that it’s run by an underclassman who looks up to him. Unfortunately, in his Krauser persona, he can’t help but be rude and obnoxious- a joke that by all rights should be overplayed by now but somehow still works.

Gunslinger Girl -Il Teatrino 9: After a long drought, Il Teatrino seems to be arriving in a steady flow, with this episode proving to be one of the better entries in the series. Whilst Henrietta and Jose/Giuse/Giuseppe each contemplate their relationship with the other, Jose and Jean’s past and their deceased sister and other striking scenes such as Rico torturing a prisoner. Yes, we’ve seen it in the manga, but this is probably the best adaptation of the original material we’ve seen so far, and proof that very little effort is needed to make Gunslinger Girl good. What a shame Artland took nine episodes to realise this.

“Yes, but it’s more fun with two.”

Itazura na Kiss 22-3: Naoki seems to have become more human over the last couple of episodes, but it’s not really an endorsement of the series, given that everyone else is pretty unlikable. First up, we have an instalment in which Kotoko gets her first ever birthday gift from Naoki in the form of a night out- although of course everything goes wrong on the way there, causing her to be two hours later. With that episode ending with the revelation that Kotoko is pregnant, the next one sees her friends winding her up about Naoki being unfaithful, causing a wave of paranoia when she sees him hanging around with a young nurse. Meanwhile, domestic violence makes a return when Sudou decides that the only way to deal with Yuuko wanting to work through her illness is to give her a slap in the face- and she promptly softens towards him. To quote The Simpsons- “so it’s true- some cartoons do encourage violence”, not so much because of the hitting, but because of how angry and annoyed it makes me feel.

Koihime Musou 10: It’s Wu’s time to shine as Guan Yu and her party visit the court of Sun Ce- but after an attempt on the life of Wu’s ruler, our heroines are thrown under suspicion. The plot may be average (with the surprising revelation that Zhang Zhao is the one named Three Kingdoms character who is actually a man), but a visit to my favourite kingdom (now populated by beautiful women) is worth the price of admission.

Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 19: It’s time for the inevitable trip to the hotsprings this episode, and whilst the family get down to some serious R&R, they are unaware that they are being watched by Klutz Devil, a demon who is here to collect the soul of someone who is destined to die. Although there are some amusing moments, most of this episode passed under my radar- it was refreshingly free of uber-craziness, but at the same time there was no real hook that made me want to pay attention.

Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu 10: When we saw Yuuto and Shiina in a compromising position on the floor last episode, we knew that there would be a completely innocent explanation, and indeed there was (a blackboard magically detached from the wall and fell on the floor, as often happens in day to day life). Nonetheless, Haruka has to go off and angst for the duration of the festival, until everything pans out and resolves itself. Despite the generally underwhelming nature of the episode, I’m happy to see that Yuuto and Haruka’s relationship is developing properly instead of just being left in limbo- but whatever happened to the school who hated otaku and didn’t want Yuuto going anywhere near Haruka?

Ryoko’s Case File 10: The appearance of Ryoko’s young lookalike last episode seemed set to propel the series into a more interesting storyline than anything we had seen thus far, but ultimately the mystery of young “Monami” (named so because Jun’ichiro has no grasp of what “mon ami” means in French- although why they were referring to a girl in the masculine sense escapes me) is not solved here. Instead, this is a rather slow-paced episode in which very little happens right up until the end; I don’t want to see Monami bonding with Jun’ichiro, I want to know who and what she is! Hopefully episode 11 will deliver the goods.

Slayers Revolution 10-11: The battle continues as Lina and Gourry fight Zuuma and Gioconda, whilst Pocota and Duclis indulge in some more Flashback Mode. The battle brings us some good, nostalgic stuff with Ragna Blade and the Sword of Light making an appearance, all the while setting the stage for the next boss battle. Although Lina doesn’t seem as invincible as she once did, this was one of the more action-packed episodes of the series.

Episode 11 opens with an attack on new boss monster Zanaffar, but in typical fashion he withdraws from battle after a few turns to go and wreak havoc on generic towns whilst the heroes decide how to defeat him. There was a definite feeling of Dragonball Z in this episode, what with people flying around, energy blasts that did nothing and a boss that’s going to take several episodes to defeat- why did I never notice the connection before?

“We meet again, Obi-Wan.”

Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 7: After a slew of hard-to-please clients, Kuroda is beginning to think that maybe enough is enough- magic just isn’t as satisfying or enjoyable as he’d like. Of course, this is the cue for his friends to rally round and encourage him, but all the while I could barely care about an episode devoted to largely uninteresting supporting characters. This series isn’t really going anywhere, and worse yet, it doesn’t even do going nowhere well the way the first two seasons of Aria did.

Soul Eater 23: Whilst Stein and Medusa’s battle draws to a close (complete with bursts of action amidst lengthy discussion scenes), it falls to Kid to hold off the wolf guy whilst Black Star and Tsubaki stop frog witch from injecting the hideous Demon God skin sack with black blood. Of course, we’d feel cheated if the arc ended that easily, so the events of this episode lead into the next, with a rather disturbing final scene.

Wagaya no Oinari-sama 18: Byakki has adopted Tohru as her ‘parent’, but he status as a life-force drainer and generally wanted commodity puts anyone with her in danger. The only solution seems to be to have her sealed away, which leads to a rather anticlimactic end to this arc in which our heroes sit around doing very little. There’s also the revelation that Kuu-chan and the silver fox are siblings, which seemed a bit of a lazy way to connect the only two foxes in the series.

World Destruction 11: With our heroes having gone to the lands of Spring, Summer and Autumn, the only place left is the obligatory Winter land, a place of those RPG staples of dragons and ice. Naturally, Lia becomes fearful for her homeland and pursues them with renewed vigor, but Evil Doctor and his robots are also on the scene, keen to pick up the Destruct Code in the ensuing chaos. The one thing that can be said about this episode is that at least it seems to be setting up a final boss, but other than that it’s as underwhelming as ever.

MANGA

Doujin Work 23-5: As we saw in the anime, the time has come for Najimi and Nidou to compete once again, and whilst Nidou becomes inspired by her mistaken belief that Hoshi is HARD GAY for Justice, both sides are eager to improve their drawing skills with the aid of their friends- no matter what it takes.

Fullmetal Alchemist 87: Whilst Father continues to sit in a chair and plot, the fight with Pride and Gluttony continues- and the moment the lights come back on, Pride can use his shadow travelling powers once more. Meanwhile, having discovered the truth about Selim Bradley, Mustang makes his move, but will any of our heroes be able to stand against the Homunculi? With some interesting plot developments and a good amount of action, this chapter doesn’t fail to disappoint, whetting the appetite for more.

Reviewed this week: Antique Bakery 7, Chi’s Sweet Home 77-83, Chocolate Underground 7, Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 16-17, Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu 8, Ryoko’s Case File 8, Slayers Revolution 8-9, Soul Eater 21-2, Telepathy Shoujo Ran 10, Sisters of Wellber Zwei 1-4, World Destruction 8

…and in manga: backlog continues to pile up

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

1. Chi’s Sweet Home (1)- cuteness overload
2. Hidamari Sketch x365 (2) – 365 times the fun
3. Soul Eater (3) – Krona
4. Natsume Yuujinchou (4) – Nyanko-sensei forever!
5. Xam’d- Lost Memories (5) – Humanform
6. Detroit Metal City (6) – I’m gonna f***ing raep you!
7. Wagaya no Oinari-sama (7) – pure white oni
8. Nabari no Ou (8) – tranquil aid to meditation
9. Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu (10) – ridiculous
10. Slayers Revolution (9) – Dragon Slave
11. Koihime Musou (11) – Xu Chu
12. Antique Bakery (12) – domestic violence
13. Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (13) – everything at or below this line is wasting my precious life!
14. Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ (14) – magic can’t do everything
15. Real Drive (15) – flashback
16. Allison and Lillia (17) – plane crash is the new train wreck
17. Ryoko’s Case File (18) – attack of the killer mangrove
18. Itazura na Kiss (19) – dislikeable cast
19. World Destruction (20) – some stuff happened
20. Telepathy Shoujo Ran (21) – meaningless <- dropped!
21. Chocolate Underground (22) – chocolate is forbidden

SLOW RANKINGS

1. Tetsuko no Tabi (1)- is this ever going to be subbed?
2. Love GetChu! (2)- light entertainment
3. Sisters of Wellber Zwei (-) – it’s back!
4. Gunslinger Girl- Il teatrino (3)- licensed
5. Himawari!! (4) – needs less plot
6. Himitsu (-) – demoted to slow

Antique Bakery 7: Despite being particularly unseasonal, Antique Bakery decides to throw in a Christmas episode in which Tachibana decides he must dress as Santa and personally deliver everyone’s cakes. Before that, however, everyone must go intense training in everything from caramel decoration to waiting tables. To be honest, this is the least interesting episode of the series so far, although the main cake of the episode did look a lot like one due to appear in next week’s episode of The Hairy Bakers.

Chi’s Sweet Home 77-83: Batches of Chi’s Sweet Home will never be unwelcome, and this one is as packed with cuteness as ever as Chi gets trapped in a drawer, meets up with the black cat once again and generally charms everyone with her antics. The tagline for this series should be ‘cats have never been this cute’.

Chocolate Underground 7: Smudger, Huntly and Louise need to learn how to make chocolate out of the raw ingredients they have found, but obviously such recipes aren’t just lying around- they’ll need a reliable contact. Fortunately, given their tendency to discuss their top secret plans openly, the local bookstore owner proves to be most helpful in their search for chocolate recipes and a chocolate radar proof place in which to prepare and sell it, allowing the series to magically jump ahead to a time when our heroes own Chocolate Underground is going strong. Wow, that was fast- especially when compared to the non-development that has characterised much of the series so far.

Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 16-17: Just when you thought that the humans turning into animals plot was over, it turned out that the last couple of episodes was just a warm-up for the same thing happening all over again- and sadly, this tiresome development detracts from what could have been an interesting look at Teika’s past. Whilst Teika and old friend Madara re-enact The Lion King, however, Kyouka manages to mess it all up with her over-energetic insanity- I really want to like her, but she makes it very hard.

Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu 8: After the disappointment of last episode, this instalment seems almost tranquil in its safe, unremarkable nature. Having realised that she’s never been on a date, Mika decides to take Yuuto out so she can teach him how to make a move on Haruka, but of course in the process she realises she’s rather enjoying her time with ‘onii-san’. This episode adds absolutely nothing to my experience of anime thus far, but by the same token it is at least inoffensive.

Ryoko’s Case File 8: We’ve had giant reptiles and killer plants, so of course the next logical step is a deadly insect- the Ultrasonic Bug. Said bug has the ability to emit inaudible frequencies which cause people to feel depressed and suicidal, but could its release be the work of an obviously suspicious mad scientist? Well, that question answers itself, but I have to admit that this episode had some decent background music and an unintentionally amusing quality to it- I almost look forward to seeing what ridiculousness the writers can come up with next.

They’re going to kill us all!

Slayers Revolution 8-9: When their way is blocked by a giant fortress created by Wiser, our heroes give the inspector the runaround- which suits Xellos just fine. Ultimately, however, it’s time for everyone’s favourite ‘priest’ to step in, forcing Lina to surrender- which will at least get her straight to Gioconda’s boss castle. What follows includes skirmishes with underlings (including an assassin and an android) plus a Flashback Mode for Pokota as he relives the days when he wasn’t a stuffed toy. Even so, the series still isn’t grabbing me in the way its predecessors did.

Soul Eater 21-2: Maka has descended into madness in order to combat Krona, but never fear, my friends, because not only is there very little actual fighting, but everyone comes out of it as good friends in preparation for the next arc. Before that, however, this arc must be completed, and with all the distractions, our heroes seem unlikely to make it in time as Medusa’s underlings prepare to free the Demon God from imprisonment in a bag made of his own skin (no, really). It could do with a bit more action, but overall this remains the cool and enjoyable show it always has been.

*DROPPED* Telepathy Shoujo Ran 10: Where Ryoko’s Case File and World Destruction are at least merciful in their relatively brief length, the thought of watching another 16 episodes of this tripe finally caused me to snap- especially with this one giving me a headache. In this utterly pointless instalment, Midori wanders around town by herself because she’s too proud to admit she’d rather spend the time shopping with Ran and Rui, before finally meeting up during the evening’s fireworks festival. I suppose they weren’t unnecessarily meddling in other people’s lives this episode, but that’s small consolation for a series so dull I fear my IQ has suffered from watching it. Lol I like animes yeh.

*NEW* Wellber no Monogatari ~Sisters of Wellber~ Zwei 1-4: Going back to Sisters of Wellber is like booting up an old school RPG and listening to the tinny music as you play through the standard plot devices- which is to say it’s watchable, but as mediocre as ever. This season, the focus is on Tina as she aims to get revenge for her parents’ murder, complete with stops by NPC homes and the abrupt realisation that she loves Galahad, causing her to break up with Jin (what about the status quo!?). It’s hardly remarkable, but at least it passes the time- not that I need any help with that right now.

World Destruction 8: On the way to the imaginatively named Autumnland, our heroes collapse in the desert and end up getting rescued by some sort of sandship- which promptly has an accident and ends up trapped under the surface. Naturally, I was hoping that the entire main cast would get crushed by the sand so that the series could end early and put us out of our misery, but it was not to be, and thus there are five more episodes to go.

“…and you brought me the Dragonballs too!“

Reviewed this week: Antique Bakery 6, Chocolate Underground 6, Itazura na Kiss 20, Koihime Musou 6-7, Natsume Yuujinchou 8, Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu 7, Ryoko’s Case File 7, Slayers Revolution 7, Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 6, Soul Eater 20, Telepathy Shoujo Ran 9, Wagaya no Oinari-sama 16-17, World Destruction 7, Xam’d 6-7

…and in manga: None this week!

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

1. Chi’s Sweet Home (1)- cuteness overload
2. Hidamari Sketch x365 (3) – 365 times the fun
3. Soul Eater (4) – Krona
4. Natsume Yuujinchou (6) – Nyanko-sensei forever!
5. Xam’d- Lost Memories (5) – Humanform
6. Detroit Metal City (12) – I’m gonna f***ing raep you!
7. Wagaya no Oinari-sama (7) – pure white oni
8. Nabari no Ou (8) – tranquil aid to meditation
9. Slayers Revolution (9) – Dragon Slave
10. Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu (10) – ridiculous
11. Koihime Musou (13) – Xu Chu
12. Antique Bakery (14) – domestic violence
13. Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (15) – everything at or below this line is wasting my precious life!
14. Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ (16) – magic can’t do everything
15. Real Drive (18) – flashback
16. Himitsu (20) – faceless
17. Allison and Lillia (22) – plane crash is the new train wreck
18. Ryoko’s Case File (17) – attack of the killer mangrove
19. Itazura na Kiss (25) – dislikeable cast
20. World Destruction (19) – some stuff happened
21. Telepathy Shoujo Ran (23) – and I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!
22. Chocolate Underground (26) – chocolate is forbidden

Antique Bakery 6: Ono’s Parisian HARD GAY master has arrived, but when the stereotypically named Jean Baptiste isn’t professing his love for Ono, he’s beating him up. The HARD GAY levels hardly needed any increasing, but somehow the series has managed it; however, the most disturbing aspect is Jean’s outbursts of violence, especially the way Ono accepts them- it’s a somewhat uncomfortable portrayal of domestic violence that feels out of place in a series like this.

Chocolate Underground 6: When the Chocolate Police take away fellow classmate Dave, Smudger and “that other guy” realise what a ridiculously oppressive regime they live in- but don’t worry, they’ll take their own sweet time in doing anything about. Given that this new healthy government makes China look like a particularly liberal democracy, it’s somewhat hard to even rate this series on the outside realms of believability.

Itazura na Kiss 20: Stupidity and strangely cold relationships continue to abound in Itazura na Kiss, starting with the nurses’ capping ceremony for Kotoko, with Irie acting his usual cold self until he turns up after the event acting like a normal human being for once (an event so rare that Kotoko is reduced to tears). After another bout of Trap wishing he was a woman and Naoki reading yet another newspaper, we suddenly jump ahead four years to a world where Kotoko is a qualified yet annoyingly incompetent nurse who still refers to her husband by his last name. In an attempt to enliven the proceedings, TV star Nobuhiro shows up at the hospital and greets Kotoko as a friend- but who is he? I’m assuming he’s that little boy who was in the hospital with Yuki, but to be honest I don’t care all that much.

Koihime Musou 6-7: There’s no reason why I couldn’t have watched episode 6 last week- except that I completely forgot I even had it. Anyway, this episodes sees Zhao Yun get lost in fog, whilst our other two heroines meets a loli version of Zhuge Liang, who is so cute and underaged that Rin Rin (aka Zhang Fei) begins to fear her position in the show will be jeopardised. Fortunately, there’s room for both a bookish loli and a strong loli, but a disgruntled Rin Rin runs off and enters an eating competition, only to team up with Ma Chao and Xu Chu for an episode. What follows is largely forgettable, although fortunately the ecchi content has been toned down for the moment, whilst the introduction of new Three Kingdoms girls is a welcome bonus.

This seems to be an early version of the She-Wee seen on Dragons’ Den.

Natsume Yuujinchou 8: Natsume once again gets involved in the lives of the otherworldly when he meets a female spirit who cares for a man who can no longer perceive her. As well as showing Natsume that there may come a time when he will no longer be able to see spirits (typically causing him to reflect that much as it can be trouble, his ability is an important part of who he is), this is a nice little bittersweet love story that is enjoyable without demanding too much from the viewer. Aside from the greatness of Nyanko-sensei, the draw for all these one-off tales is watching our lead grow, mature and reach out to others instead of remaining isolated and alone.

Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu 7: At the end of last episode, it was plain that Haruka’s father had just found out about his daughter’s secret, and indeed, that was carried through here as he sends elite units to try to track her down. Unfortunately, what this meant was that the little ground the series had gained with me was quickly eroded, as anime-style overblown ridiculousness took hold. I always knew that this moment was coming, and sadly, it was as tiresome as I predicted, causing a wave of tiredness to overcome me that ensured I went to bed as soon as the episode was over (okay, it may not have been watching the episode that caused the exhaustion, but it certainly didn’t help with my efforts to stay awake).

Ryoko’s Case File 7: There was a time when I thought giant lizards and explosive cookery were deep in the realms of the absurd, but that was before I watched episode seven of Ryoko’s Case File. In a move as ridiculous as anything the Indiana Jones writers might come up with, this episode features a giant mangrove as its main protagonist, a fearsome plant capable of attacking with its seeds, spreading rapidly and even controlling generic security guards. I’m not sure whether to take this as an affront to my intelligence or laugh at the B-movie nature of each plot. I’m almost looking forward to the stupidity of the next episode.

Slayers Revolution 7: Our heroes are taking a boat ride to their next destination, but unfortunately, someone seems to be after them. What follows is the typical Slayers craziness: 2008 style- mildly entertaining but not really memorable. This season isn’t particularly bad, but was it really necessary in the first place?

Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 6: Before this season, I never thought that anything with the Someday’s Dreamers name could be unworthy, but how wrong I was. In another turn of creepiness, this time around Sora and her friends meet a little girl who wants a baby because they’re fun to play with (get a doll! A pet! Anything!). What follows is little more than Sora and co chasing after this girl until they finally track her down, and once again one can’t help feeling that they should leave well enough alone- stop interfering in other people’s lives! We don’t care, so why should you?

Soul Eater 20: When it’s time for battle in a shounen series, you can be sure of one thing- blows will be traded in between lengthy dialogue exchanges. Thus proceed Maka’s battle against Krona, who is revealed to have the typical troubled past as Medusa’s tortured and abused child. Maka’s only chance of defeating the insane product of bad mothering is to use the power of the black blood that lurks within Soul, but is dipping a toe into the sea of insanity really a good idea? Only main character power and narrative convention can save her now.

One day dancing in anime will be properly animated!

Telepathy Shoujo Ran 9: I probably should drop this show, but for some reason I’ve kept struggling on, reaching an episode where Ran’s plan for a picnic date with Rui is ruined by Midori tagging along. What follows next is a pathetically syrupy story of reuniting two spirits who were once lovers- really, who cares anymore? The only high point was a cameo from Ran’s two cats, easily my favourite characters.

Wagaya no Oinari-sama 16-17: The Byakki storyline continues to rumble on in this duet of episodes, in which the pure white oni sucks the vitality out of her fellows and returns to Tohru, who has been imprinted as a parent figure. Meanwhile, the other characters generally run around in deference to the gravity of the situation, resulting in a mildly entertaining but not particularly outstanding duet of episodes.

World Destruction 7: A group of even less memorable characters has starting going around impersonating the World Destruction Committee- all for the sake of a free meal. This, in its entirety, is the plot of the entire episode, with the addition of an ‘important’ point about Morte’s skirt being about to rip. If I didn’t know the depths Disgaea had plumbed, I would ask if anime has ever reached these depths before.

Xam’d- Lost Memories 6-7: After all the dross that collected on my viewing list, it was nice to have something decent for a change, in the form of two episodes of Xam’d (or whatever we’re calling it at the moment). On Sentan Island, Furuichi and Haru begin their training, only to find themselves confronted by a test-type Xam’d gone out of control- hardly a good start to their new careers. Meanwhile, Akiyuki takes a trip with Nakiami before deciding to keep a meeting with Haru- but out in the real world, more Humanforms await. From a strong start, Xam’d has continued to build on its success- I could watch 51 episodes of this and still remain satisfied (although I hear it’s only going to be a modest 26).

“I’ve heard this joke before.”

Reviewed this week: Antique Bakery 5, Chi’s Sweet Home 69-76, Chocolate Underground 5, Detroit Metal City 1, Hidamari Sketch x365 7, Itazura na Kiss 19, Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 14-15, Natsume Yuujinchou 7, Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu 6, Ryoko’s Case File 6, Telepathy Shoujo Ran 8

…and in manga: Elfen Lied 102-4, Tsubasa 197, xxxHOLiC 163

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

1. Chi’s Sweet Home (1)- cuteness overload
2. Hidamari Sketch x365 (3) – 365 times the fun
3. Soul Eater (4) – vectors
4. Natsume Yuujinchou (6) – Nyanko-sensei forever!
5. Xam’d- Lost Memories (5) – what’s going on?
6. Detroit Metal City (12) – I’m gonna f***ing raep you!
7. Wagaya no Oinari-sama (7) – pure white oni
8. Nabari no Ou (8) – tranquil aid to meditation
9. Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu (10) – Comiket
10. Slayers Revolution (9) – Dragon Slave
11. Koihime Musou (13) – Guan Yu has more breasts and less beard
12. Antique Bakery (14) – Gaydar overload
13. Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (15) – everything at or below this time is wasting my precious life!
14. Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ (16) – magic can’t do everything
15. Real Drive (18) – flashback
16. Himitsu (20) – faceless
17. Allison and Lillia (22) – plane crash is the new train wreck
18. Ryoko’s Case File (17) – giant lizards
19. World Destruction (19) – tree
20. Telepathy Shoujo Ran (23) – and I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!
21. Itazura na Kiss (25) – dislikeable cast
22. Chocolate Underground (26) – chocolate is forbidden

Antique Bakery 5: Antique has landed the chance to open a stall at a department store fair, but for Ono the prospect of cooking in front of members of the opposite sex is more than a little terrifying- can he and Chikage manage it? And will Eiji be able to produce the legendary cassis back at the main store? Of course they will, but can viewers take the intense combination of sweet cakes and HARD GAY?

Chi’s Sweet Home 69-76: The fat cat gods of anime are smiling down on me again, for they have provided eight more episodes of Chi, and the series just keeps getting better and better with each marathon. This time around, Chi finds out where the cat biscuits are stored and helps herself, gets a much needed grooming and plays with her own shed fur- cat owners, need I say more? Why must this series ever end?

Chocolate Underground 5: If Chi’s Sweet Home is the poster series for how much can be achieved in the space of 2-3 minutes, then Chocolate Underground must fill the opposite, because after five episodes, we’ve still barely got anywhere. Having discovered the magical chocolate buffet, our heroes are in for a rude awakening when the Chocolate Police show up- although fortunately, there are some convenient escape wagons waiting. Cue a mine cart chase scene that could have come straight out of any number of video games, and before you know it, the two leads have stumbled upon the raw ingredients needed to start their own chocolate underground by episode 13! Now excuse me whilst I go and play some Chocolatier.

Detroit Metal City 1: Okay, so the last ‘episode one’ was actually a preview special, but this time around we have the genuine episode one- and to be honest, apart from a few scene changes, it covers much the same material.

Hidamari Sketch x365 7: After spending so much time at the end of the school year, it’s time to flip back to Yuno and Miyako’s entrance ceremony, and as always, it’s good straightforward fun. From a glimpse of the infamous drying agents to Yuno and Miyako getting ready in the morning, this series just knows how to hit the mark. This may be my new favourite SHAFT series.

Itazura na Kiss 19: Another week, another week of marital bliss for our leads- or so you might say if you were deaf, blind and apathetic to the world. After spending the first half of the episode contriving an engagement between Kinnosuke and Chris, we get back to the happy couple- but Kotoko has just noticed that Naoki doesn’t treat her all that well. Frustrated and angry, she lashes out at him, causing him to admit that he is in fact a robot who was never programmed with human emotions. In the meantime, Keita is waiting to take Kotoko away from her husband, the way responsible friends should. Of course, our leads make up by the end, but next week it looks like a blonde guy will be showing up to hit on Kotoko- what fun.

“…because I am a robot!”

Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 14-15: The tiresome Doctor Gebok is back in episode fourteen, and the only way to reverse the disease that has turned all generics in the city into animals is to defeat him. Cue another bout of pointless craziness that manages to remain entirely dull- if you want to see epic battles against bizarre monsters, then watch the far superior Futakoi Alternative.

Episode 15 continues the trend with an episode in which Kyouka becomes a magical girl so that she can punish Ouka for those two cardinal sins- criticising his wife’s cooking and then forgetting their anniversary. This time around I was reminded of Excel Saga, which, although it hasn’t particularly stood the test of time, was still more enjoyable than this.

Natsume Yuujinchou 7: When Natsume goes on a school trip, he attracts the attention of a little fox when he saves it from some bullying demons- but is it dangerous to form an attachment when Natsume is going home in just a few days? This was a nice, largely sedate episode which seemed to indicate how Natsume is gradually settling into his life and becoming less depersonalised from everything.

Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu 6: Comiket is here, and in the trend of the Genshiken team before them, Haruka and Yuuto are all set to attend. Unfortunately, the aforementioned Genshiken already did this a lot better, but Haruka has a decent enough stab at it, resulting in a reasonably entertaining episode that seems to characterise the series as a whole- “decent, but nothing particularly inspiring or original”.

Ryoko’s Case File 6: I know we all have series we watch even though we find it impossible to properly absorb what’s going on, and now that Amatsuki is over, Ryoko’s Case File is occupying that role for me. This time around, some other generic bad guys are indulging in generically scandalous activity, whilst the ‘natural treasure’ of a giant salamander wanders around. To be honest, the emergence of the salamander into daylight was much like reliving the X-ATM-092 boss battle from Final Fantasy VIII (complete with music that could have been penned by Nobuo Uematsu); I appreciate not everyone will know what I’m talking about, but the feeling was so strong that I just had to mention it.

Telepathy Shoujo Ran 8: As Telepathy Shoujo Ran gets ever more dull, the only way I can even make it through an episode is by playing rock music in the background- a nice contrast to the tepid contents the episode has to offer us. This week, two generic one shot characters are having trouble expressing their feelings to one another- which is a shame as one is about to move away. Cue some clumsy interference from Ran, Rui and Midori in an attempt to set everything right, and whilst I suppose I should be happy that they wanted to improve someone’s life, one can’t help feeling they should stop horning in on other people’s affairs.

MANGA

Elfen Lied 102-4: As the end approaches, Lucy goes final boss and starts destroying everything in sight, but when she sees that Kouta is injured, she uses her powers to repair his body- at the expense of her own. Now, Lucy is just a melted pile of flesh and the army is demanding that Kouta and the others hand her over- how can all this be resolved in just three chapters?

Tsubasa Chronicle 197: Syaoran has been sent back to Yuuko’s shop, but he isn’t content to wait in his own world- Sakura needs him, and to that end he plans to pay Yuuko to return to Clow Country. As for what the price will be, even that small detail has been reserved until next chapter.

xxxHOLiC 163: After learning from Haruka that Doumeki only eats food that he is satisfied with (and therefore has great trust in his cooking), Watanuki heads off to teach Yuuko’s new client how to cook- but why does she seem familiar? I suppose she might somehow be a relative of Watanuki’s (perhaps even his mother in some strange twist) but we’ll have to wait until September to find out the truth.

There were times when we all felt that way about Busou Renkin.

Reviewed this week: Allison and Lillia 12, Amatsuki 8-9, Amuri in Star Ocean 1, Antique Bakery 1, Aria DVD Special, Chi’s Sweet Home 47-52, Chocolate Underground 4, Hidamari Sketch x365 1, Itazura na Kiss 13, Kaiba 9, KgNE Next Season 3, Koihime Musou 1, Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 10, Miyori no Mori, Nabari no Ou 13-14, Natsume Yuujinchou 1, Persona 12, Real Drive 11, Shion no Ou 22, Slayers Revolution 2, Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 1, Soul Eater 13-14, Telepathy Shoujo Ran 3, Wagaya no Oinari-sama 11, World Destruction 1

…and in manga: Tsubasa Chronicle 192

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

1. Chi’s Sweet Home (1)- Chi plays
2. Kaiba (2) – who am I?
3. Soul Eater (3) – best exam ep ever
4. Hidamari Sketch x365 (-) – 365 times the fun <-new!
5. Natsume Yuujinchou (-) – Book of Friends <- new!
6. xxxHOLiC Kei (5) – typhoid Himawari
7. Nabari no Ou (6) – change of side
8. Wagaya no Oinari-sama (4) – part-time job
9. Persona Trinity Soul (7) – catch-up, start!
10. Slayers Revolution (8) – Dragon Slave
11. Koihime Musou (-) – Guan Yu has more breasts and less beard <-new!
12. World Destruction (-) – cats <-new!
13. Real Drive (9) – chat program
14. Amatsuki (11) – Kuchiha
15. Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ (-) – slooowww start <-new!
16. Antique Bakery (-) – super gay demon <-new!
17. Telepathy Shoujo Ran (10) – mind-reader
18. Himitsu (12) – faceless
19. Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (13) – kyouran kaizoku
20. Itazura na Kiss (15) – dislikeable cast
21. Toshokan Sensou (14) – Dojo falls into the Lifestream <-complete!
22. Allison and Lillia (16) – Luke, I am your father
23. Chocolate Underground (17) – chocolate is forbidden

SLOW RANKINGS

1. Shion no Ou (1) – oh and by the way, I did it <-complete!
2. Tetsuko no Tabi (2)- is this ever going to be subbed?
3. Love GetChu! (3)- light entertainment
4. Gunslinger Girl- Il teatrino (4)- licensed
5. Himawari!! (5) – needs less plot

Allison and Lillia 12: Hello and welcome to another episode of such ridiculousness that even the lack of armour piercing pistols and super fast tanks can’t reduce the stupidity. You see, despite being a cold-blooded murderer and all-round suspicious sort, Major Stork is actually Allison’s long-lost father- and that makes everything all right. Never mind that he was a double agent who abandoned his own daughter and embarked upon a life of evil deeds- as long as he sends her a present on her next birthday, we can all play happy families again. Meanwhile, Benedict weds Fiona in a rather dodgy sham of a wedding ceremony, and Wil finally asks Allison to move in with him because it will save on living costs. How romantic.

Amatsuki 8-9: First up, it’s the obligatory flashback episode as we learn more of Kuchiha’s origins and how it ties in with various other supporting characters. Then it’s back to the present, where Toki and the others continue to take their quest at a measured pace (has no one told them that the series is ending soon?) and Heihachi gets a sound beating before learning about the past tragedy of a tree spirit and a fox demon. By this point it’s easy to see that the series’ main problem is that it doesn’t want to go anywhere fast- hardly a good move when the episode count is so low.

*NEW* Amuri in Star Ocean 1: Shallow as I am, I only acquired the first episode of this CG-animated OVA because it had ‘Star Ocean’ in the title, and perhaps I shouldn’t have bothered, given how little sense it all made. At some point in the future, solar radiation has caused the emergence of Adapters, humans with special abilities, and naturally the titular Amuri happens to be one of them. Thanks to her ‘Repulsion’ ability (she bounces off anything she touches, although the ability appears not be active 100% of the time as she can at least wear clothes), Amuri ends up in space with two other Adapter girls, where they somehow end up on the front lines of a stellar conflict- or so I just about gathered. Exactly what the point of it all might be is anyone’s guess.

*NEW* Antique Bakery 1: Through a mixture of hope that this would be like Bartender with cakes and desire to parody it, I decided to throw caution to the winds and see what a series about gay guys running a café would be like. In fact, very little happens in this first episode, which is mainly about introducing three of the four main characters; the (straight) proprietor of the Antique bakery/café who suffered trauma as a child when a burly man tried to force him to eat a strawberry cake of doom; the gay chef who got fired from all his other jobs because man of all sexual orientations can’t keep their hands off him and the boxer who learns he must quit his profession because of a detached retina (he learns this whilst eating a strawberry cake of doom). Expect parodies soon.

Aria the Origination DVD Special: Just when I thought that Aria had shown me all it had to offer in animated form, along came a special treat in the form of this DVD special. Billed as ‘episode 5.5’, the episode sees Akari take an afternoon off to wander round the places she doesn’t usually get to see in her work as an undine, and somehow Akatsuki ends up tailing her in hilarious fashion. This may only be a one-off extra episode, but one brief half-hour I was transported back to Neo Venezia, with all the wonders therein- humour mixed with poignant moments and just the right dash of magic.

Chocolate Underground 4: Four episodes in and our heroes finally get to the secret chocolate underground, a place of so many delectable treats that I could feel my mouth watering. Unfortunately, the preview tells us that the Chocolate Police are on the way to bust this modern-day speakeasy, which is something of a shame, but at least means the plot is going somewhere.

Chi’s Sweet Home 47-52: We’re halfway through Chi’s Sweet Home now and I never want it to end- whether she’s being left at home alone or going on an adventure with the big black cat (not that Chi thinks she’s a cat), Chi is so cute and lovable that I just want to pick her up and take her home.

*NEW* Hidamari Sketch x365 1: Having just finished the first season of Hidamari Sketch (plus the two special episodes), it hardly feels like x365 is new- it’s just a continuation of what I was watching a couple of weeks ago. That being said, anyone can jump in with this episode, which acts as a prequel to explain how Yuno came to attend Yamabuki High School and live in the Hidamari Apartments. As usual, there’s a good mix of slice-of-life and SHAFT craziness, so it’s all good fun.

Itazura na Kiss 13: You’d think that after half a series I might have warmed to the cast of Itazura na Kiss, but if anything, I hate them even more now that when I started. Whilst Kotoko contemplates marrying the annoying Kinnosuke through lack of other offers (wait a minute, girl, you’re only 19, there’s no need to rush), Naoki remains irritatingly silent about his true feelings, instead dating Christie through what seems to be a simple desire to ruffle everyone’s feathers. Will he finally come clean in the next episode? Even if he does marry Kotoko, as we know he must, do we really care anymore? How can everyone in this series be so shallow and annoying?

Kaiba 9: After what feels like an age of waiting, another episode of Kaiba has appeared to sate our appetites, not to mention deepen the mystery surrounding Popo, Neiro, Warp and ‘Kaiba’. For all his righteous talk, we already know that Popo is, to be frank, a bit of a bastard, but just how much has he manipulated Neiro’s memory? Quite a lot, it seems, and whether she can break through to the truth of her past will determine whether she’ll realise her feelings for Kaiba-Warp, or kill him in cold blood. One thing’s for sure- a series of this level of detail needs plenty of rewatching.

Kimi ga Nozomu Eien ~Next Season~ 3: Despite being labelled as the Haruka route, so far in this OVA we’ve had one episode about Haruka and another about Mitsuki, so it hardly seems surprising that the third instalment focuses on Akane. Torn between her feelings for Takayuki and her sister, Akane angsts her way through this half an hour, quietly suffering the awkward situation the two people closest to her have put her in. Unfortunately, even a cliff-hanger ending can’t really save this latest mediocre instalment in a mediocre OVA, and I’m becoming increasingly scared to go back to the TV series in case that too has lost its lustre.

*NEW* Koihime Musou 1: If Koutetsu Sangokushi was the HARD GAY retelling of the Three Kingdoms, then Koihime Musou must be the HARD YURI version, featuring as it does an all-female cast very loosely based on those famous historical figures. In this episode we meet the busty and beardless version of Guan Yu, who joins up with juvenile bandit Zhang Fei and shows her the error of her ways. Based on the ED, Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang will be joining them too, whilst beautiful women will also be representing the forces of Wu and Wei. It’s shallow, I know, but I like the character designs, I like the Three Kingdoms, and I prefer this to Ikkitousen, so I’m good to go.

Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 10: Each episode of Kyouran Kazoku Nikki represents its own little endurance trial, and this episode of ‘pirate frenzy’ is no different, featuring as it does a tiresome rivalry between two pirates as they race to be first to uncover a particular horde of treasure. Naturally, the family muscle their way into the action, resulting in another lacklustre outing filled with random madness and general lack of coherence. Why did I once think this series could make crazy humour work?

*MOVIE* Miyori no Mori: A two hour movie (well, 1:47 to be precise), Miyori no Mori is a pleasant little family film about a girl named Miyori who becomes guardian of a forest as a baby- hence the title. Flash forward ten years and Miyori is a city kid who is none too happy about being dumped in the countryside to live with her grandparents. Naturally, her prickly personality rubs everyone up the wrong way, but as she begins to accept the presence of the mysterious spirits in the forest, she becomes determined to save the forest from the plans of an evil corporation who want to build a dam and flood the village. It’s a pretty standard “kids versus evil capitalist” story, but it’s nicely animated and reminiscent of a Ghibli work.

Nabari no Ou 13-14: It’s time for something to happen as both sides head to Kouga Village, better known in the real world as a prestigious private school where ninjas attend special classes and no one else is any the wiser. Unfortunately, the Kouga student council has its own plans, resulting in a battle that ends up as a bit of a free-for-all. Nonetheless, there are some good moments in episode fourteen particularly, with Rokujou realising his feelings for Yoite, Yoite admitting that he really does want to live, and Aizawa putting his life on the line. Is the only way to exist in the world of Nabari to kill?

*NEW* Natsume Yuujinchou 1: When I previewed this series, I billed it as a sort of reverse Card Captor Sakura, and after the first episode, that’s still my impression, with our lead having to free all the monsters that his grandmother made contracts with. Helping him is by far and away the best part of the show- Nyanko-sensei, an Okami-esque creature who usually takes the form of a fortune cat. The only oddity is that Nyanko-sensei, who wants the contracts in the ‘Book of Friends’ for himself is helping on the condition that he gets the book if Natsume dies- so why not just kill him and take the book before too many contracts are lost?

Persona Trinity Soul 12: In amongst everything else, I’ve managed to fit in another episode of Persona for parody purposes, with this one revealing more about Ryou (who has to take drugs to control his Persona) and various shady evil forces. I’m still waiting for the point where the pace picks up and I understand what’s going on, but maybe that will come later.

Real Drive 11: After a couple of episodes which at least tried to get back to the main concept (in spite of poor execution), Real Drive is floating in shallow territory once more this time around as Minamo attends a classical music concert and learns that Kurama was once a legendary violin prodigy. The entire episode is then spent trying to return a violin to him- and, well, that’s about it. No, I know the series isn’t meant to be about violins, but what can you do?

*COMPLETE* Shion no Ou 22: The end of the series is finally here, and it’s the one we were all expecting as Shion outmatches Hani-meijin in their final game, and the police close in to finally arrest him. To be honest, the poor guy is probably in need of psychiatric help, given that he murdered Shion’s family just to help her improve at shogi. Yes, Hani, just because you lost your family means that everyone has to be orphaned in order to improve at shogi! Call me old-fashioned, but I’d prefer to just practise and play strong opponents. Also, Shion suddenly being able to speak again was a bit farfetched, if not unexpected.

Slayers Revolution 2: Remember the old days when you could cause general mayhem and destroy villages with abandon just because you were a main character? Well, those days are over, because Lina’s reputation is no so notorious that she’s about to be arrested for destruction she didn’t commit- unless she can find Digimon wannabe Pokota and prove that he is the real culprit. Unfortunately, the somewhat annoying Pokota is a slippery guy, so even a whole barrage of spells isn’t enough to stop him. Aside from the general annoyingness of Pokota, the episode is generally entertaining, but the animation is looking worse than ever- dare I say I preferred it in the old days?

*NEW* Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 1: I love the gentle tranquillity and beautiful artwork of the Someday’s Dreamers franchise, but somewhere along the line, this new anime has lost its way. With bland character designs and extended landscape shots (which aren’t even particularly impressive landscape shots since they seem to be slightly edited photography), this episode manages to accomplish in twenty-five minutes what the manga did better in a single chapter, as our main character heads off to Tokyo to begin training as a mage. Where’s the tortured love triangle, the mistake of going to the wrong place and only then finding out she was supposed to be in Tokyo? Where is Kumichi Yoshizuki’s beautiful, beautiful artwork?

Soul Eater 13-14: It’s time for two more instalments of straight-up entertainment with Soul Eater; first an action-packed episode in which Soul must overcome his fear of the black blood within him in order to battle an immortal werewolf, followed by a lighter-hearted and thoroughly enjoyable episode in which our protagonists must prepare for their exams with a flurry of study, preparation and downright cheating. This must surely be the most entertaining exam episode in the history of anime, featuring everything you could possibly want from such a story, all nicely wrapped up into a twenty-five minute bundle.

Telepathy Shoujo Ran 3: There’s an odd feeling of déjà vu in this episode as the bland and dull Tate Rui is captured by the evil Shiho Masked Villain, forcing Mai Ran to convince Natsuki Midori of the power of HiME friendship (whilst the enemy stands and waits) so they can fight this oddly familiar enemy. To be honest, I was hoping that Rui would turn out to be responsible for all the evil, but instead the kids’ teacher is the culprit, and now that the first enemy has been seen off (“I would have got away with it too, if not for those meddling kids”), they can go off and have fun and games whilst solving mysteries on the way. I can’t wait.

Oh, and for a couple more interesting observations, note how the shape of Midori’s eyes changed once she replaced evil with friendship, and how Evil Teacher’s mask somehow masked the scent of her perfume. Was it sprayed with Febreze?

*COMPLETE* Toshokan Sensou 12: Yes, the library wars have finally come to an end, with Riuva summarising it best in a post far more hilarious and satisfying that the episode itself could ever be. Whilst Kasahara looks after the unresponsive Dojo, various other things happen as we patiently wait for the inevitable happy ending between the two. So many people seem to have loved this series, but I just didn’t get it; maybe I’m just emotionally starved or something.

Wagaya no Oinari-sama 11: With the last arc finally done and dusted, the series is ready to move onto another adventure, although not an especially enticing one. What with all the breakages and house damage that she’s managed to cause, Kou decides she should really start making up for it by getting a part-time job, but guess what- she’s too much of a klutz to do more than rack up the destruction in the workplace as well. As the bills mount up, Kuu-chan decides to try working too, but even though she doesn’t do as badly as Kou, neither of them seem to be able to stay in work for very long, resulting in a painfully predictable instalment that returns everything to the status quo at the end. To be fair, even a couple of years ago I would have enjoyed this episode, but at this point it’s just annoyingly predictable.

*NEW* World Destruction 1: Although I wasn’t really intending to try this latest in a long line of RPG-based series, when Hanners showed me a screencap of Chocolat-esque cats, I knew I had to watch it. As it turns out (and these may be famous last words), the opening episode wasn’t too bad, introducing a world where humans are inferior to beastmen and one woman plots to destroy the world with a simple sphere. After our hero gets dragged along with her, action and craziness follow, and whilst it wasn’t anything special, it has at least proved entertaining for now. Here’s hoping it’s not going to degenerate in future episodes.

MANGA

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle 192: I was expecting something a bit more spectacular after CLAMP went on hiatus between this chapter and the last, but all we get is a continuation of the Flashback Mode as Syaoran Jr reveals that he has both his father’s name and sword, and well, very little else happens. Who knows how it long it will be before we actually see any kind of plot development?

Reviewed this week: Amatsuki 7, Chi’s Sweet Home 45-6, Chocolate Underground 2-3, Himawari!! 5, Itazura na Kiss 12, Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 9, Nabari no Ou 12, Real Drive 8-10, Shion no Ou 21, Slayers Revolution 1, Soul Eater 12, Telepathy Shoujo Ran 1-2, Wagaya no Oinari-sama 10

…and in manga: Slayers Revolution 1-2

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

1. Chi’s Sweet Home (2)- Chi plays
2. Kaiba (3) – who am I?
3. Soul Eater (5) – black blood
4. Wagaya no Oinari-sama (6) – Mubyou
5. xxxHOLiC Kei (7) – typhoid Himawari
6. Nabari no Ou (4) – change of side
7. Persona Trinity Soul (8) – catch-up, start!
8. Slayers Revolution (-) – Dragon Slave <- new!
9. Real Drive (9) – chat program
10. Telepathy Shoujo Ran (-) – mind-reader <- new!
11. Amatsuki (11) – the new Shounen Onmyouji
12. Himitsu (12) – faceless
13. Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (13) – those cat ears aren’t just for show
14. Toshokan Sensou (14) – library wars
15. Itazura na Kiss (10) – heart attack
16. Allison and Lillia (15) – yawn
17. Chocolate Underground (16) – chocolate is forbidden

SLOW RANKINGS

1. Shion no Ou (1) – oh and by the way, I did it
2. Tetsuko no Tabi (2)- is this ever going to be subbed?
3. Love GetChu! (3)- light entertainment
4. Gunslinger Girl- Il teatrino (4)- licensed
5. Himawari!! (6) – needs less plot

Amatsuki 7: With such long gaps between episodes, it’s hard to remember what’s going on or particularly care about the mediocre world of Amatsuki. Nonetheless, the story rumbles on, with Toki spending pretty much the entire episode getting ready to head off on a search for a way to break the cross-dressing princess’ curse, and various other characters wandering around aimlessly. How did I end up watching such an incredibly average series?

Chi’s Sweet Home 45-6: As all cats owners will know, our feline friends like attention- but only if it’s on their own terms. Unfortunately, the Yamadas have yet to grasp this fact, and so it’s up to Chi to teach them that cats need attention, but they hate too much attention.

Chocolate Underground 2-3: What I want from Chocolate Underground is secret factories producing tons of sweet confections- what we’ve got so far is our two leads finding a clue to the location of the hidden chocolate traders and a not-so-subtle warning as to the dangers of not voting. Then the next episode dithers around and wastes time as our leads try to follow up on the clue, but overall there’s a feeling that the series doesn’t really want to go anywhere- it’s just content to fill each five minute episode with whatever it can.

Himawari!! 5: It’s time for another outing in the world of ninja mediocrity as the main characters head off to rescue Azami from trouble after s/he sneaks into the place where the ninjas from the boys’ school are being held. To be fair, this is slightly better than the monster-of-the-week episodes, but I still miss the days when there weren’t any evil villains lurking in the background. Meanwhile, Hayato’s attempt to get a decent meal by turning up at a VIP party after his emergency bread turns out to have gone mouldy at least prove amusing.

Itazura na Kiss 12: With his father in the hospital, Naoki is in danger of being forced into the company through guilt, but first, he ends up being set up with the daughter of another rich CEO- something which makes Kotoko and Yuuko united in their desire to see off this new rival. To be honest, by this point in the series I couldn’t really care less about the characters, so there’s not much incentive to be bothered one way or the other about what happens.

Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 9: It’s a slightly better episode of Kyouran Kazoku Nikki this time around, as Ouka, Kyouka and Shinigami-sama fight against the mysterious Odessa Ei and learn a little about Kyouka’s past. Even the usual pointless craziness is very much in evidence, these character revelations and a lack of need to force every family member into every scene does make this episode stand out above most of the others, although it’s still not enough to properly redeem this series.

Nabari no Ou 12: It’s at this point that I have to admit that for all its potential, Nabari no Ou is seriously beginning to disappoint me. Kairoushuu has been the enemy up until this point, but in this episode Rokujou just walks into their base and has a friendly dinner with them- “never mind all that massacring of generics and trying to kill my friends, I must help my boyfriend Yoite”. Admittedly he could just be playing both sides in an attempt to save the friends that Yoite has held hostage, but having such an apathetic main character seems to have cast a pall over the whole series, in which only rare moments such as Raimei versus Raikou really bring out the emotion the series needs.

Apparently this is what all the British schoolboys are wearing this summer.

Real Drive 8-10: After the disappointment of episodes 5-7, episode 8 continues the trend with another unspectacular instalment, this one an excuse for a swimsuit episode as a ‘ghost’ is seen in the school. In fact, the true cause of the problems- a company using the spare CPU cycles in people’s cyberbrains- is an interesting concept, but again it’s somewhat shoved aside in favour of the less interesting aspects of the series.

Episode nine tries to take a tone more befitting to the series as we meet Minamo’s father and learn how just one small outage in the Metal could prove disastrous- but what is more important, people’s safety or the reputation of the system? Unfortunately, it loses something in the execution, becoming more dry and dull than outright interesting.

Finally for now, we have episode ten, in which Haru becomes linked to a chat program named Eliza, but when she proves adept in exploiting the weakness of anyone with a cyberbrain, it falls to Minamo to enter a diving bell and brave the Metal to save him. This isn’t a bad episode, but again the core idea of interest is glossed over- come on, let’s explore the meat of this unique future.

Shion no Ou 21: It’s time for the penultimate episode of the series (I’ll watch the finale before the end of next week), in which Hami-meijin becomes ever more ridiculous in his near admission of his guilt. As it turns out, he killed Shion’s family to help her reach her true potential in shogi, which I’m sure must make sense to someone out there, because personally I don’t see the connection.

*NEW* Slayers Revolution 1: It feels strange to have brand new Slayers so long after the previous Slayers series were produced (although it does give me hope for a second season of Lost Universe)- is 2008 too sophisticated for good old fashioned fantasy comedy? Well, the jury’s still out on that, because while the old jokes are still amusing, and the mix of decent and simplistic animation can be forgiven, what’s up with this brand new Digimon rip-off that can cast the Dragon Slave? There’ll be more on him in my manga coverage, but for now he’s the weak link in this new series.

Soul Eater 12: Whilst the black blood continues to endanger Soul’s future, even her fellow witches are getting tired of Medusa- but as we know, one shot characters have no hope of successfully defeating her. With that in mind, this is a predictable instalment, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want the Medusa arc to be over as soon as possible, but it’s still enjoyable enough.

*NEW* Telepathy Shoujo Ran 1-2: The first wave of summer series is with us, and appropriately enough it starts with mediocrity in the form of Telepathy Shoujo Ran, a series in which our protagonist discovers her telepathic powers after a run-in with an antagonistic transfer student with the same abilities. Now everyone except her beloved cardboard cut-out Rui thinks she’s a freak, but in the meantime there’s all sorts of mysteries lining up to be solved. I can see this becoming another Mokke, only with less interesting characters.

Wagaya no Oinari-sama 10: The Reversed Circle story finally comes to an end in this episode (at least, we can hope it does), as the mystery of the two Mubyous is solved, and everyone becomes friends at the end. I’m actually a little sad at the loss of the cute doll puppets, but other than that, this was a mildly entertaining arc, nothing more.

MANGA

*NEW* Slayers Revolution 1-2: Accompanying the new anime we have a companion manga, with slightly off character designs and a near-identical story. The first chapter is much the same as the first episode of the anime (albeit with Pocota the Digimon using the Sword of Light), whilst the second chapter reveals that our newest Dragon Slave user is out to destroy all anti-magic tanks.

Reviewed this week: Allison and Lillia 10-11, Chocolate Underground 1, Kaiba 8, Kurenai 11-12, Mnemosyne 5, Toshokan Sensou 11

…and in manga: FMA 1-84, Minami-ke 30-1

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

1. Kurenai (1) – masterful
2. Chi’s Sweet Home (2)- Chi plays
3. Kaiba (3) – who am I?
4. Nabari no Ou (4) – clan massacre
5. Soul Eater (5) – Bones does shounen
6. Wagaya no Oinari-sama (6) – fox trap
7. xxxHOLiC Kei (7) – typhoid Himawari
8. Persona Trinity Soul (8) – catch-up, start!
9. Real Drive (9) – they’re dogs, and they’re on the internet!
10. Itazura na Kiss (10) – hospital
11. Amatsuki (11) – the new Shounen Onmyouji
12. Himitsu (12) – faceless
13. Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (13) – shinigami
14. Toshokan Sensou (14) – library wars
15. Allison and Lillia (15) – yawn
16. Chocolate Underground (-) – chocolate is forbidden <- new!

Allison and Lillia 10-11: The stupidity of Allison and Lillia reaches new heights as this arc continues, starting with Allison and Wil witnessing the murder of the conductor, before allying with the clearly suspicious Major Stork to fight off a military train with a pistol (no, really) followed by a tank that can somehow keep up with a train. I want to spend time making intense fun of it, but that must be left for the parodies.

*NEW* Chocolate Underground 1: With its 3-5 minute episodes, it hardly seemed like too much of an investment to tuck into the first instalment of Chocolate Underground, a series about a world where the use, sale and distribution of chocolate is now illegal. Naturally, in this Prohibition-esque era, bootlegging is rife, but there isn’t much of excitement in this episode, which basically serves to introduce the main characters and the world of constant health food ads that they inhabit. It’s hardly stunning stuff, and it was made even worse by the fact that the sound was out of sync for much of the episode.

Kaiba 8: The plot ramps up in this episode, with important revelations about Popo and Warp changing the playing field of the series once again. Although Popo is part of a group that forbids the use of memory chips and body swaps, we know that he has changed bodies at least once- and he’ll even go so far as to forsake his own mother in order to keep his secret hidden. Meanwhile, the kind Warp is a man who has had hundreds of copies of his body made, only a few of which contain his true powers. Currently, the king is in one of the inferior bodies, but the one that Kaiba started out in is the ‘true’ body that he needs. And what of the memory eating plant, which has continued to devour planets? Can it be stopped?

*COMPLETE* Kurenai 11-12: With Benika, Yayoi and Shinkurou having resolved to take back Murasaki, the time has come for an assault on the Kuhouins, and that is just what episode eleven delivers- all the slick and fast-paced action that you could have ever hoped for. It is a masterful stroke in an excellent series, but unfortunately it is also one that leaves episode twelve with the unenviable task of having to wrap it all up. With that in mind, it comes as no surprise that the series can only end ‘as well as expected’, failing to live up to its predecessors with narrative conveniences such as Shinkurou and Yayoi magically levelling up to defeat previously untouchable enemies and Murasaki vowing to single-handedly challenge the all-powerful Kuhouins, but nonetheless there are some good moments, and overall a pleasant taste is less in the mouth. And yet, was this series Gold+ or Platinum?

Mnemosyne 5: The year is 2055, reality and the internet have merged and Teruki Maeno has a daughter- but happened to Rin? As it turns out, even being shredded by the engine of a plane wasn’t enough to keep her down forever, but with her regeneration taking the better part of a decade, she has been left without a memory. Even so, now that Rin is an office lady, who is the Rin lookalike who is going around murdering immortals? This is a mildly interesting episode, but the gratuitousness is still present, and to be honest there’s little that can enhance my reduced interest in the series other than a proper explanation of what’s going on followed by a solid conclusion.

Toshokan Sensou 11: The Media Enhancement Committee are ready to launch their attack on the controversial artwork, so it’s up to the Library Forces to defend it- with their lives if necessary. As always, there’s just something that doesn’t hang right about the combat, leaving me feeling disappointed and unfulfilled. Oh well, just one more episode to go.

MANGA

*CATCH-UP* Fullmetal Alchemist 1-84: I’ll be reviewing it properly in due course, but suffice to say that at long last I am up to date on the FMA manga, and it’s proved to be rewarding if frustrating (I need to know hoe it’s going to end). With key difference in the Homunculi and their creator, the FMA manga promises a deeper and more involved story than the anime could manage, with the latest chapter ending on a cliff-hanger that I absolutely must see resolved.

Minami-ke 30-1: It’s time for two more brief stays in the Minami-ke world with this duet of chapters; first up, we get to relive Hosaka developing an interest in Haruka and thus taking up cooking, before we see how utterly futile it is to try to argue with Chiaki.