Azure Flame Reloaded » Amatsuki

Final Thoughts: Amatsuki

Karura — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 21:15:53 +0000

When Tokidoki Rikugou fails his high school history class, he has to make up for it by attending a virtual reality tour of Edo- the last resort for drumming information into young minds. Unfortunately, what started off as a simple make-up class turns into something more sinister when Tokidoki is pulled into what appears to be the real Edo- albeit one where magic and the supernatural are a way of life. Can Tokidoki adjust to this new life- and will he ever find a way home?

You’d think that after Shounen Onmyouji I’d have learned my lesson about the potential mediocrity of feudal era supernatural series, but no sooner had I cleared that hurdle than I was ready to throw myself into the fray once again- this time courtesy of Amatsuki. Drawn purely by the need for a good historical series, I asked myself “how bad could it be”, and sadly the series seemed determined to test just that.

Rather than going the route of having no plot whatsoever, Amatsuki’s problem was that it kept trying to have a plot and then completely forgetting about it in favour of another storyline- perhaps a consequence of trying to make a short series from an ongoing manga. At first, one could be forgiven for thinking that the series would be about Tokidoki’s destined powers and his attempt to go home, but in short order this was put to one side in favour of alternating between a quest to break a curse on another character and another character who had the misfortune to be possessed by a dog demon.

Uninspiring as they are, one might feel inclined to at least give these storylines a chance, but even if you did, you would only be disappointed once again as the series veers off into new territory. Instead of focusing on any of the previously introduced characters, Amatsuki decides to bring us the tale of a vengeful fox demon driven mad when the sacred tree she loved so much is cut down. Not only does this have nothing to do with what has come before, but it is by this point that the series becomes impossible to concentrate on- you know that events are happening onscreen, but the brain refuses to absorb any of it. To be honest, however, this may be for the best as it at least aids with forgetting the series once watched.

As lacklustre as the plot is, it can only be matched by the blandness of the characters in the world of Amatsuki. Apart from the slightly likable dog-demon possessed Kuchiha, everyone from Tokidoki on down is as flat and forgettable as they come. It’s an impressive feat to be able to remember more than two or three character names, and the fact that minor personalities of generic design keep showing up hardly helps matters.

Visually, Amatsuki has a handful of reasonably attractive character designs spread amongst a largely unimpressive selection, with the overall quality of animation being rather poor and low budget. The opening theme is rather pleasant, but other than that, the music is as forgettable as every other aspect of the series.

Final Thoughts

Even when a series isn’t a masterpiece, it is often possible to recommend it for the purposes of light entertainment, but sadly, Amatsuki doesn’t even reach that modest level. A series so mediocre and lacking in direction that watching it is barely more stimulating than looking at a grey screen, this is one anime that no one should bother wasting their time on.

Tier: Wood-

Tuesday Rumble: August 26th

Karura — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 22:44:57 +0000

Anime Olympics

With the real Olympics having just finished, it’s time for our favourite anime characters to step up to the plate and have a go at their own unique set of events. Highlight include-

Trap Race: how fast can you dress as a member of the opposite sex?
Harem relay: harem members race around the track in an attempt to get the object of their desire.
Fat cat rollathon: fat cats roll towards their food bowls.
Metal Diving: contestants must swim through Real Drive’s virtual reality.
Mobile Suit race: how quickly can one Gundam pilot destroy generic mobile suits?
Strip Fighting: high school girls battle in an attempt to see who can end up in their bra and panties the fastest.
Swimsuit competition: obligatory.
Special Attack Contest: who can shout the name of their attack the fastest? Who has the most ridiculous special move?

Seen any other events at the Anime Olympics? Be sure to tell us all about them!

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei: the lost chapters

Sensei enters the classroom, more depressed than ever.

Kafka: Sensei, what’s wrong?

Sensei: I went to see my favourite actor last night!

Kafka: Isn’t that a good thing? Getting to meet your hero in the flesh!

Sensei: No- he was old!

Chiri: Meeting your heroes is always a disappointment.

Sensei: It’s not just that- he was past his prime!

Sensei gets out a noose.

Matoi: No, Sensei, don’t die without me!

Sensei: This isn’t for me! This is to kill off all actors before they get old and start losing their looks and talent! Zetsubou shita! This world where things continue past their best has left me in despair!

Celebrities who become old and ugly.
TV and book series that go on for so long that even their greatest fans don’t like them anymore.
Favourite items that become old and unusable.
Relatives who become too old and feeble to be useful.
Old money that isn’t legal tender anymore.

Amtsuki 13

A mountain giving birth to a fox? Even I’m not that twisted.

“He was a real Countdown addict- he just couldn’t help it!”

“They specify the type of Pleasure that they want.”

Really?

“I am God! Monty Python style!”

“Now, are you an old man with a beard?”

Oh no, someone’s cracked the camera!

Ginshu has Pleasure with some giant Buddha statues from Gantz.

“Wait- are these leftover butterflies from the ending of Iroha?”

Now the world is falling apart!

Dragons’ Den

Welcome to our regular feature based on the TV program of the same name, in which anime characters try to market their great idea to five fat cats of anime! President Aria made his fortune in the gondola industry of Neo Venezia, and is now CEO of a well-known company. Mikoto started her business in the capital of Wind Bloom, and is now a trusted advisor to the queen, with business partners scattered across the world. The Admiral’s first business venture was to invest in a Chinese restaurant, but a meteor threat to Earth saw her buy shares in ground and space based defence technology, which she currently administers with her protégé “The General” (aka Shogun). Mr Tibbs started his career as a tea cat for the bank, but his sound grasp of finance saw him rise up the ranks until he became one of their most prominent managers. Finally, The Cardinal is the world’s most powerful fat cat, with a wide range of business interests that ensure that he has a paw in every pie (often literally, depending on his appetite). These five cats represent some heavyweight investment clout in every sense of the word, but is any deal attractive enough to get them to roll off their backsides and shake paws with a budding entrepreneur?

Hello and welcome to a special behind the scenes edition of Dragons’ Den. Following the first season of this fat cat rip-off of a popular BBC programme, we’ve decided to keep things fresh by introducing a new Dragon to the team! Whilst The Admiral departs for the world of book deals, speaking tours and cheap publicity, she will be replaced in the Den by Nyanko-sensei, who, whilst technically not a fat cat, looks enough like one to be let in. Nyanko-sensei is a contract expert who made his fortune in the supernatural business, and whose sharp observations and ruthless manner make him a formidable businessman. Expect to see Nyanko-sensei debut in the Den next week!

This Week in Anime

Don’t eat it- strawberries only lead to trouble!

Note the basket of fruit in the background- only a seasoned pro would spot those.

HORSE- coming indoors for your convenience.

Nonetheless, the dedicated HORSEman stills prefers to have it outside whilst stark naked.

Get those shiny strawberries away from me!

Hidamari Sketch’s rubber duck content mysteriously doubles.

“Should we really eat these strawberries of doom?”

In the world of live-action, lemons prove to be troublesome in The Scorpion King 2: Crappy Sequels Make Us Money.

Even Yoshinoya-sensei is getting in on the lemon act.

“You know they’re dangerous!”

“Aagh, reality is being warped by strawberries!”

This man is desperate to impress the food critics.

Strawberries of doom…

…followed by pizza (Hut)!

This is not a combination to be taken lightly, you fool!

What a cruel fate for a noble apple.

Flash Game Review: Chicken and Egg

I was actually looking for a different game where you have to breed chickens whilst making sure you don’t put two cocks together lest disaster occurs (if anyone knows the game I’m talking about, please link to it), but my top search result was Chicken and Egg. The object of the game is to move eggs of the same colour next to each other so that they will hatch, but naturally there are all sorts of obstacles and only a limited number of clicks per level. Although not as hard overall as other games of this type, Chicken and Egg is still a fun mix of brains and timing that will pass a few minutes now and then.

Harem of the week: Rentarou (Futakoi Alternative)

In a world with the same twins but a whole different setting to the original, Rentarou ‘Nidame’ balanced running his detective agency and fighting giant squid with meeting beautiful twins.

Sara and Sojyu: The main girls and Rentarou’s assistants- he may not know much about their past or their home life, but he knows that the three of them belong together.

Kira and Yura: Daughters of a local yakuza boss, they masquerade as “Gothloli Mask”, a crime fighting duet.

Rara and Ruru: Juvenile secret agents with some explosive moves.

Ai and Mai: The seductive older women.

Kaoruko and Sumireko

Ui and Koi

Tuesday Rumble: August 19th

Karura — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 18:34:27 +0000

Book Promotion Special

Here at Azure Flame we like to keep you up to date with the latest developments in the anime world- everything from the Spice and Wolf trading game to the acclaimed crossover series “Mewsou Renkin”. Today, however, we’re here to advertise a new set of self-help books, written by some of the finest names in anime!

From Friendship to Marriage: A Guide to Relationships by Irie Naoki

Everyone’s favourite husband, Irie Naoki, takes us through relationships with the aid of his extensive personal experience. Learn how to impress the ladies and land that someone special with Naoki’s impeccable advice. Here are some extracts from this bestselling novel.

“Girls don’t appreciate affection, so act as coldly towards them as possible. Use their unrequited feelings for you to manipulate them into believing they’d never love anyone else, and then get married as quickly as possible. Don’t worry about the bonds of matrimony- you can treat wedlock as little more than casual dating.”

Top Class Dad by Oscar ‘Major Stork’ Whittington

The next book to hit the selves this summer is Oscar Whittington’s guide to being the perfect father- a must for all current and prospective dads!

“The best way to foster a relationship with your daughter is to abandon her at an early age and live the life of a cold-blooded murderer. When you are finally reunited with her, a simple birthday gift will be enough to mend any feelings of estrangement or dislike. The truly thoughtful dad will even go so far as to ask the love of her life to leave her for a life of undercover work.”

Love and Marriage: A Modern Perspective by Wil Schultz

A follow-up to Top Class Dad, Love and Marriage delves deeper into the process of raising a family.

“It is important not to casually say ‘I love you’ to your partner; save it for that moment when you get her pregnant and then leave her all alone. Fatherhood is enhanced by distance, so never admit to your child that you’re their parent; instead watch over them from a distance, maintaining a cool, professional relationship at all times.”

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei: the lost chapters

Sensei enters the classroom at the beginning of another school day. He is looking particularly unkempt.

Chiri: Sensei, what happened?

[Meru: You can’t afford to look any worse than usual.]

Sensei: What’s the point of it all? Even if I bother to clean up, I’ll just get dirty again!

Kafka: So Sensei is just saving energy by not washing! How noble!

Chiri: Uh, I don’t think that’s it…

Maria: In Maria’s home country, we didn’t wash for years!

Matoi: I’ll love you no matter what, Sensei!

Sensei: Zetsubou shita! The society that places so much value on personal care has left me in despair!

Having to wash when you’ll just get dirty again.
Constantly needing haircuts because it keeps growing.
Hair removal, manicures and other potentially painful processes.
Anti-ageing creams that never work.
Celebrities paying thousands for dodgy surgical processes.
Getting dressed up nicely and then having to constantly get changed to do household jobs.

Amatsuki 12

This hamster must have been the brush god that never made it into the final cut of Okami.

“…for the Pokemon battles!”

“That’s not playing fair and you know it!”

“…then you’re no good to HARD GAY!”

“Exterminate!”

Toki shows extreme arrogance by calling his Liang “Master” during a Hyper Self Pleasure session.

Ignorance at its finest.

“He’s my lover!”

“Are you here for HARD GAY?”

“Sorry to disappoint, but I’ve gone STRAIGHT!”

“How could you abandon the ways of HARD GAY for mere STRAIGHT?”

“Just go and sleep with your new lover and stop bothering me!”

“Don’t turn to the STRAIGHT side!”

“Toki, you can only sleep with one person at a time.”

“Trying to sleep with everyone you meet will only end in tragedy.”

“I’m sorry- I just can’t seem to satisfy my raging libido!”

“Those days are over now that we’ve conceived the child you always wanted!”

“I won’t have you skipping out and leaving me to raise it all alone!”

Dragons’ Den

Arriving in the Den this week is Mai-Otome’s John Smith, who is hoping that his range of Otome GEMs will whet the appetites of our feline investors. Mikoto already has previous experience in this field, but will he be able to catch her eye?

Smith: Hello Dragons, my name is John Smith and I’m here to represent Otome GEMs Limited. As I’m sure you know, the jewellery market is one that continues to thrive, and we’re here to introduce a brand new range to the discerning consumer. From our generic Coral and Pearl ranges to custom high-end pieces, each Gem can be set into an earring or ring, enabling the use of special powers!

Mikoto: Been there, done that- this isn’t a profitable business, so I’m out.

Mr Tibbs: I’m actually interested, but tell me, say I wanted to buy more than one Blue Sky Sapphire, for example- would that be at all possible?

Smith: So far we’ve only been able to source one pair of each type.

Admiral: How are you manufacturing these?

Smith: Uh, we just find them.

Admiral: So you’re just a reseller then? What’s to stop me finding some GEMs and selling them myself?

Smith: Well, nothing really- but we do have an exclusive product line of in-house Slave GEMs that can be worn as pendants! They even let you control giant monsters.

Mikoto: Why don’t you tell the other Dragons how you turn into green sparkles if your monster is defeated?

Smith: …

It’s a shocking revelation, and one that has certainly soured the mood in the Den. Will any Dragon want to invest after this?

Aria: Punyu! [I think this is a ridiculous idea that won’t generate any profit, and that’s why I’m out.]

Cardinal: To be honest, in the right hands the product could have potential, but your lazy approach to production means that you’ll run your company into the ground within months. I’d invest in the product, but not in you- and that’s why I’m out.

John Smith’s dreams of marketing Otome GEMs lie in tatters! Can anyone impress our jaded investors?

This Week in Anime

“Those apples may be more dangerous than they appear.”

“Oh no, they’re floating away and I’m powerless to stop it!”

“Captured- and tasted.”

“Hyper Self Pleasure in the sea is such a great feeling!”

“Our home was infested by apples.”

A trio of food critics decides to prepare dinner.

Unfortunately, there is some disagreement over preparation.

Aagh, a mechanical tomato! What has become of the world?

“He’s only interested in Liangs on his level.”

“We desperately need HARD GAY!”

“Given the size of your Ezo, I’ll won’t get my hopes up.”

“Alert! Alert! Rival detected!”

“Gwakakaka!”

In golem competitions, it’s important to get your priorities straight.

“Swords are there to be used.”

“They really know how to do breast enlargements!”

“They fill me with dread! I can’t be in the same room as pies and cakes!”

Flash game review: Clay Kitten Shooting

We’ve all heard of clay pigeon shooting, but fewer of us have indulged in Clay Kitten Shooting; a cruel-sounding yet oddly amusing game in which one must shoot cartoon kittens as they fly across the screen. With a limited amount of shots and each level demanding more accuracy, the game is quick to become hard but highly addictive at the same time.

Harem of the week: Nozomu Futami (Futakoi)

Not content with just adding single girls to his harem, Futami specialised in attracting twins.

Harem

Kaoruko and Sumireko: The childhood friends with secret feelings for Nozomu.

Kira and Yura: The clueless rich girls who must slowly learn about normal life.

Rara and Ruru: The lolis with an open claim on Nozomu as their future husband.

Ui and Koi: The gentle animal lovers.

Ai and Mai: The seductive older women.

Sara and Sojyu: The sick girl and the tsundere.

Weekly Round-Up: August 8th

Karura — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 22:59:59 +0000

Backlog catch-up is a myth.

Reviewed this week: Amatsuki 12-13, Antique Bakery 3-4, Blade of the Immortal 2, Chi’s Sweet Home 53-68, Detroit Metal City 1, Eve no Jikan 1, Himawari!! 6, Itazura na Kiss 17, Kaiba 11-12, Koihime Musou 4, Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 12, Otome S.ifr 2, Nabari no Ou 17-18, Natsume Yuujinchou 4-5, Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu 4, Persona Trinity Soul 22-6, Real Drive 13, Ryoko’s Case File 4, Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 4, Soul Eater 16-18, Telepathy Shoujo Ran 6-7, Wagaya no Oinari-sama 14-15, Xam’D 3

…and in manga: .hack//Link 3, Caramel Espresso 1-2, Clannad 6-8, Claymore 82, Elfen Lied 89-101, FMA 85, MariMite 25-7, Minami-ke 34-5, Nodame 121, Rose of Versailles 9-10, Sketchbook 13-16, Slayers Aqualord 1, Slayers Revolution 3, Tsubasa 194, Wagaya no Oinari-sama 1, xxxHOLiC 159-161, Yotsuba&! 55

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

Chi’s Sweet Home (1)- Chi plays
Kaiba (2) – who am I? <-complete!
Hidamari Sketch x365 (3) – 365 times the fun
Soul Eater (4) – symmetry
Xam’d- Lost Memories (5) – Bones does it again
Natsume Yuujinchou (6) – Nyanko-sensei forever!
Wagaya no Oinari-sama (7) – hot springs
Nabari no Ou (8) – change of side
Slayers Revolution (9) – Dragon Slave
Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu (14) – maid secrets
Persona Trinity Soul (11) – what did it all mean? <- complete!
Detroit Metal City (-) – I’m gonna f***ing raep you! <-new!
Koihime Musou (10) – Guan Yu has more breasts and less beard
Antique Bakery (15) – Young Master!
Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (16) – fillerific
Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ (12) – open the safe
Ryoko’s Case File (18) – superintendant
Real Drive (13) – flashback
World Destruction (19) – tree
Himitsu (21) – faceless
Amatsuki (20) – inconclusive <-complete!
Allison and Lillia (23) – plane crash is the new train wreck
Telepathy Shoujo Ran (17) – and I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!
Blade of the Immortal (22) – boring <-dropped!
Itazura na Kiss (24) – dislikeable cast
Chocolate Underground (25) – chocolate is forbidden

SLOW RANKINGS

Tetsuko no Tabi (1)- is this ever going to be subbed?
Love GetChu! (2)- light entertainment
Gunslinger Girl- Il teatrino (3)- licensed
Himawari!! (4) – needs less plot

*COMPLETE* Amatsuki 12-13: At long last, the series so dull and unable to maintain a consistent plotline that I barely knew or cared what was going on has come to an end, although to call something as inconclusive as this an ending is stretching it a bit. In episode twelve, Toki manages to save Imayou from evil somehow and turn her into a cute fox once again, before episode thirteen sees Ginshu call down the Hand of God, everything turns a bit Matrix-esque and then it all ends with the announcement that Toki may have to become the next overseer of this world. I’ll go into more detail in its own specific review, but suffice to say that after a slightly promising start, Amatsuki was barely worth watching. If you haven’t tried it, don’t bother.

Antique Bakery 3-4: Two more episodes in, and the HARD GAY has gone off the scale as Tachibana’s childhood friend Chikage shows up. Chikage holds a candle for “Young Master” Tachibana, but when he takes off his sunglasses, he captures Ono’s heart leading to new extremes of lust, longing and a general HARD GAY atmosphere. At least it’s somewhat amusing.

*DROPPED* Blade of the Immortal 2: It’s been proven that I can sit through near endless amounts of mediocrity, but there inevitably comes a time when one of the worse series just goes a step too far, and this week, Blade of the Immortal has proven too dull to continue with. In this episode, we see a flashback of a generic wronged family, before we return to the present, where the one survivor has grown up and now wants to travel with our lead on the way to revenge. When you put it like that, it sounds fairly inoffensive, but there’s absolutely no reason to care about what’s going. Bee Train has really outdone themselves this time.

Chi’s Sweet Home 53-68: If the rash of average series that has infected us this season can be thought of as a kind of dull gruel, then Chi’s Sweet Home is the delicious chocolate chips in my viewing schedule, renewing my faith in the medium as a whole and refreshing my stamina for everything else. In this batch of episodes, Chi gets a return visit to the vet, plays in a storm, experiences the family getting ill, becomes addicted to snack treats and generally does all sorts of cute cat-like things. The most hilarious moment occurs when Chi gets into a net, secure in the knowledge that no one can catch her- right up until Youhei seals her in.

*NEW* Detroit Metal City 1: Negishi is a mild-mannered young man who came to Tokyo to make it big as a guitar player; but whilst he may play wholesome songs of peace and harmony by day, by night he becomes Krauzer, lead singer for Detroit Metal City, a death metal band who has built their reputation on explicit lyrics. The trouble is, Krauser has a tendency to emerge as and when he will, and as long as that happens, Negishi won’t get any girls. Thus begins a new OVA series based on the manga of the same name, and whilst this is certainly something you won’t want to watch in polite company (or perhaps any company whatsoever), there is something amusing to be found from the mismatch between the two personalities.

*NEW* Eve no Jikan 1: In a world where androids have become integrated into all walks of life (yes, another one), there is only one place where artificial intelligence and humans can be treated on the same level- a small café located in an obscure back street. Just like the café in Mizu no Kotoba (is it meant to be the same place?), humans and androids are treated equally here, as our protagonist discovers when he stumbles on it after checking his android’s movement logs. Although the overall premise may not be particularly original, this is a well animated and reasonably thought provoking piece that immediately stands out from most of the dross we’ve been subjected to lately.

Himawari!! 6: Hayato and the girls have been left alone, but whilst they try to figure out what’s going on, who should show up but Tsubaki- and this time she wants to duel Himawari to see who is worthy of Hayato-dono’s heart. As with the rest of the season, this is a pretty average episode, although at least the infamous birthmark is having some significance this time around.

Itazura na Kiss 17: Another week, another episode of Itazura na Kiss that gives us no reason to do anything but despise all of the characters. Kotoko has finally made it into nursing school (skipping straight to the second year for some reason) but in predictable fashion she is an incompetent klutz that I wouldn’t wish on any patient, whilst her new classmates are all obsessed with Naoki- first trailing him to find out the identity of his wife (since Kotoko gets into a situation where she can’t easily admit it) and the deciding that it will be easy to get Naoki to divorce her and go after them. Well, aside from the fact that he’s a complete and utter bastard, vowing to break up someone’s marriage is a bit much even when viewed in a ‘comedic’ light, whilst the one character who isn’t interested in Naoki seems likely to end up falling for Kotoko. Oh dear, what a tangle.

*COMPLETE* Kaiba 11-12: Episode eleven sees Popo ascend to the world above, but his victory is a pyrrhic one- Cheki, the one who he wanted to see his victory, no longer has any memories of their shared past, whilst a careless mistake sees his mother’s memory chip consigned to oblivion. Not that Popo’s achievements are to be long-lived, given the number of people ready and willing to snatch it all away from him- setting the stage for Kaiba-Warp to meet and battle the fake. Can Neiro and Hyo-Hyo (who contains Neiro’s original memories) help Kaiba-Warp to claim victory and defeat the plant, all without losing himself in the mass of memories he possesses? I can’t say that this series made complete sense to me, but it was still very good, and one of the few select series that deserves watching again.

Koihime Musou 4: When Cao Cao shows up in town, Ma Chao decides to take revenge for the death of her father, and when she lands in prison because of it, Guan Yu must offer her body to the ambitious warlord in return for her friend’s freedom. Although the deed doesn’t actually take place, this episode takes the ecchi levels up several notches (presumably they slept together in the original game) but if you discount those moments, the series is still mildly entertaining if you view it with rose-tinted glasses.

Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 12: Although I have occasionally complained about the family going overboard and ruining everything, what I didn’t count on was an episode in which they all but completely failed to appear. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what we get here, with a filler episode about a random college student who takes in a catgirl. The catgirl is rather cute, but the episode is hardly anything to write home about- unless you want to write home to explain how you just wasted twenty-five minutes of your life.

Mai-Otome 0 S.ifr 2: Since I completely forgot to watch this raw, I ended up catching my first subbed episode of Mai-Otome since the original series, as the prequel tale of Sifr, Bruce and Rena continues. Whilst Schwarz try to convince Sifr that their dodgy haircuts and generic minions are in no way any indication that they are, in fact, evil, Rena has an angst session with a bishie and his brother Reito in the desert, Elliot gets stripped naked for some reason and various other uninteresting things happen. But the true indicator that the franchise has gone downhill is that this episode is completely lacking in fat grey cats, or indeed any cats whatsoever. Bring back the cats!

Nabari no Ou 17-18: Although you wouldn’t expect it of a series purporting to contain ninjas and action, I’ve come to realise that the best way to enjoy Nabari no Ou is to adapt oneself to its tranquil pacing- if you do this, it somehow becomes more enjoyable. Anyway, episode seventeen sees Raimei lead Yukimi to the school in an attempt to keep him away from Thobari and everyone else, but as it turns out, Thobari is there shredding documents anyway. Perhaps it’s just as well, however, as Raimei’s character has degenerated into that of a pathetic female who can’t do anything, much to my disappointment. Then in episode eighteen Yoite enters Angst Mode after learning that he has a month to live, causing him to wander the wintry streets in his pyjamas, coughing up blood. Nice.

Natsume Yuujinchou 4-5: It’s time for Natsume Yuujinchou to show lesser series how it’s done in this double bill of episodes; first up, we have a test of courage that sees Natsume and his friends wander the school at night, only to discover that there may actually be a ghost, followed by an encounter with a none-too-bright demon at the station that leads to Natsume attempting to complete a reconciliation Reiko forgot to do anything about. It may not be mind-blowingly original, but the series has a perfect trump card in the form of Nyanko-sensei, who reveals that he can also transform into an attractive young woman alongside his fat cat and Okami forms.

Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu 4: It’s time for another classic anime storyline this week on Haruka, as our intrepid main characters decide to trail Haruka’s maid in order to discover why she might have a life of her own outside the household. The entire script has basically been lifted out of the annals of anime history, and the fact that it is better than several other things I’ve watched this week is only an indictment on their low quality rather than endorsement of this.

*COMPLETE* Persona Trinity Soul 22-6: Well, the best that I can say about is that at least it’s over, because overall this last batch of episodes was as underwhelming as the rest of the series. Whilst people continue to sink into apathy, switch consciousness and all the rest, several main characters die (I must admit I felt sad for Kanaru, given her true nature) and Shin learns the hideous truth of his past before entering a persona-driven boss battle. Would I have got more out of this series if I’d played the game first? Perhaps, but I’m waiting it for reduce in price before I buy it.

Real Drive 13: Amidst all the boring and monotonous episodes to pass my eyes this week, one stands out above them all, and it is this- Real Drive’s own attempt at something even more fillerific than the average filler episode. In this episode, Haru and Minamo drag us along on their day off, in which they look at pictures and reminisce about Haru’s youth- complete with musical interludes in place of dialogue. In the annals of dull, this episode must surely deserve some sort of prize.

Ryoko’s Case File 4: The affable and none-too-bright Jun’ichiro accompanies Ryoko on another case in this episode (you don’t say!), in which they embark on a dialogue ridden investigation into a company researching the creation of artificial/genetically-engineered/whatever life forms. To cut to the chase, what they produced was a hideous green monster, but the woman who mothered it considers it her son and runs off with it in her arms. It’s a little disturbing, and I almost wish it would go back to the 90s where it belongs.

Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 4: It’s Midorikawa’s turn in the spotlight this episode, as we learn of the predictably troubled past that made him into the moody teen he is- basically, after learning that her husband and son had mage potential, Midorikawa’s mother walked out on them, whilst his classmates rejected him. Now he must learn to face up to his situation, but in a rather unpleasant turn of events, one client wants to recapture the taste of a nostalgic drink- and the mages give her breast milk. Yes, that’s right- rather creepily, a glass full of breast milk appears out of nowhere and the woman drinks it. I guess if you want to get technical then it’s not much different to drinking something that’s come from a cow’s udder, but the thought of it is somehow far, far worse.

This isn’t Bartender, you know.

Soul Eater 16-18: Episode sixteen concludes Kid’s visit to Nidhogg and his duel with both the ship and Ragnarok (ending in an appropriately symmetric situation, of course), before we move onto the realms of complete filler with episode seventeen. Perhaps the worst episode of the series so far, seventeen sees minor character Oxford visit Excalibur and basically listen to him ramble on for twenty-five minutes. Fortunately, eighteen is quick to get things moving again, as Medusa’s plans come to fruition and it is left to the named characters to try to stop her. Hopefully this means plenty of action and lots of ‘coolness’ in the upcoming episodes.

Telepathy Shoujo Ran 6-7: Scooby-Doo meets the 21^st century in this duet of episodes, as our heroes set off to an inn which has been plagued by ghost sightings. Could it be the work of the evil man who wants to buy the inn from the family that manages it? Is water wet? Unfortunately, where episode six can be watched with a sense of smug superiority that you know what will take the protagonists a while to discover, episode seven is entirely dull as they slowly struggle to conclusions you no longer care about. I’m toying with dropping this series.

Wagaya no Oinari-sama 14-15: It’s time for new characters and a new arc as Tohru gets a mysterious girl delivered to him by a large cat- but who is she, and why would the Oni go to such lengths as to capture Kuu-chan just to find out her whereabouts? Naturally, Kuu-chan isn’t without her tricks, even using Mubyou’s voice over a cell phone to break a sealing spell. It’s entertaining stuff, even if the conclusion of episode fifteen indicates that there might be a slightly tedious arc ahead.

World Destruction 4: World Destruction reaches new lows in this episode, as we visit a village where the frogman leader has cut down all of the sakura trees- except for one, which is purported to be cursed. What follows is a lot of running around from our leads in an attempt to maintain the illusion of the curse, resulting in so much mayhem that they really didn’t need to pretend at all. Drum this into your head once and for all- no good can come from RPG-based series.

Xam’d- Lost Memories 3: Akiyuki must adjust to his life on the ship in preparation for his Eureka Seven style adventures to come, but naturally he’s none too pleased to learn that not only is his old life over, but he’s going to have to work for a living from now on. As the obligatory “hero reluctantly settles into his new role” episode, this isn’t the best episode thus far, but I’m optimistic that it will all pay off in the future.

MANGA

.hack//Link 3: Whilst the villain group receives orders via magic CCTV (I wonder if they bought it from Yata and Pai), Tokio is demoted from hero to servant of fellow player Saika and given the mission of tracking down the Chrono Cores before the villains get them. The first Chrono Core is in the hands of familiar face Tsukasa, although given all the revisions of the World, it’s hard to know whether this has a connection to the real Tsukasa or if it’s just a data ghost. And let’s not even get into the use of the age old “collect all the special items before the enemy does” direction that the plot is taking.

*NEW* Caramel Espresso 1-2: Why do all the gay series have misleadingly intriguing names? Anyway, in this rather bizarre excuse for HARD GAY, Sayuu is a coffee shop worker and university student who wakes up one morning to find that he has suddenly become left-handed. Tracing back the origin of the switch to a customer at the café, he becomes acquainted with Aki, a quiet young man who has a HARD GAY dominant alter ego named Ao. Since Ao was produced from suppressing the painful memories of a troubled childhood and a need to hide his HARD GAY from homophobic adults, Aki seems to hope that having a relationship with Sayuu will help him to integrate his alter ego- and even though Sayuu is STRAIGHT, he finds himself oddly attracted to Aki (yeah, like we haven’t seen that happen before). It’s all a bit convoluted, but by the end of chapter two we’re already down to the sausage-fest.

Clannad 6-8: With all the excess of the other girls’ stories clipped out, the Clannad manga is moving at a fast pace down Nagisa’s track- which of course suits me just fine. First up we attend to the restoration of the drama club, which is easily achieved without resorting to baseball matches, before Tomoya’s situation with his father becomes so untenable that he moves in with Nagisa’s family. Yes, it’s familiar ground, but it’s nice to be covering it this quickly.

Claymore 82: Whilst Renee is captured by Riful and persuaded to cooperate with her in exchange for the chance to regenerate her legs, Claire’s team decide to resolve their personal issues in preparation for the final attack on North Crater the Abyssal Ones. For the lesser characters, this means visiting their hometowns, but for Claire, only tracking down Raki will be enough to set aside the last of her doubts. A fated meeting is no doubt in their future, but what will come of it? Let’s hope we don’t have to wait too many months to find out.

Elfen Lied 89-101: A bulk catch-up on Elfen Lied takes us almost to the end of the series, and it’s a far cry from the situation we once knew. Female Researcher has developed a vaccine that could cure the Diclonius virus, but it’s only with considerable outside help that she can get it past all the Diclonii that have broken out of the research facility. Meanwhile, Lucy’s powers have levelled up significantly, but will Kouta accept her, or turn her away for all the lives she’s taken? It’s to see some real plot development- after all, so close to the end, we can’t do without it.

Fullmetal Alchemist 85: The time has come for those who oppose Bradley to make their move, but when terrorists blow up his train, Father himself comes forward out of the shadows to take control. Meanwhile, Ed is reunited with his father, but when Al shows up, something seems amiss. It seems as if the plot isn’t afraid to march forward at this stage, but what will happen next? The anticipation for the next chapter is great.

Maria-sama ga Miteru 25-7: Since the order of arcs was switched round a little, it’s now time for the Rosa Canina arc, as the third years prepare to graduate and Shimako seems reluctant to run against new character Kanina Shizuka in the Yamayurikai elections. Again, it’s enjoyable to revisit this arc in a format where I can take it at my own pace, but with these chapters only covering about half of the story, it would be nice to have the rest to hand even though I know how it will turn out.

Minami-ke 34-5: After the girls try on each other’s uniforms, Kana becomes obsessed with the effect of appearances, even going so far as to borrow Keiko’s glasses in order to become more intellectual. These chapters aren’t the best examples of the series, but they’re entertaining enough.

Nodame Cantabile 121: After a quick catch-up with Streseman in New York (where a little boy wipes dog faeces on him), we return to Paris to see Chiaki, Rui and the orchestra continue their rehearsals and field an interview from Classic Life magazine, whilst in the background, Nodame practises some Debussy. Not a particularly eventful chapter, but one that seems to indicate the manga could go on forever.

Rose of Versailles 9-10: With the passing of Louis XV, Louis XVI takes the throne and Marie Antoinette becomes Queen of France, but hopes of a new age for France are quickly dashed when the beautiful young queen seems more interested in using the country’s finances to order finery for herself than for helping the people. Meanwhile, Jeanne carries out a plan to earn herself her benefactor’s title and money, whilst poor Rosalie hits rock bottom. Of course, we all know how this particular period in history turned out, but you can’t help urging Marie Antoinette to realise the error of her ways before the guillotine starts looming.

Sketchbook 13-16: I can’t express how much better this manga is than the anime as it continues onwards into volume two, complete with fresh humour, more moments of randomness and everything you could want from this sort of light-hearted comedy. There’s only so many different ways I can express these sentiments, but I’ll keep repeating them for as long it takes to complete this series.

*NEW* Slayers- Knight of Aqua Lord 1: Another Slayers series, Knight of Aqua Lord doesn’t fit into either novel or TV series canon as we see Lina and Gourry head off to a cursed island in an attempt to find enough treasure to pay off a gambling debt. Unfortunately, things go a little pear-shaped when the fearless duo is attacked by giant water dragons, with Lina waking up in a strange land where her magic doesn’t work! How will Lina fare without her trusty Fireball and Dragon Slave? Presumably we’ll find out in the next few chapters.

Slayers Revolution 3: Much of this chapter is just a retread of episode five, and since I only wrote about that last week, I won’t bother to recount it here. There are some slight additions, however, at the end, as Xellos and Waiser team up with the goal of arresting Lina (again), and the evil Marquess dispatches a mid-boss type assassin named Zuuma to be inevitably defeated at the hands of our heroes in the near future.

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle 194: If you thought very little had happened in the last few chapters, then even less happens here as Sakura has some sort of premonition of danger and Syaoran decides that he must accompany her during the ceremony- which will be occurring next chapter at the earliest. Could the pace be getting slower than even that of the infamous bus arc?

*NEW* Wagaya no Oinari-sama 1: The first chapter of the Wagaya manga is actually much the same as the first episode (albeit without covering the ending) so thus far there isn’t much to say, except to comment that Kuu-chan’s female form looks younger and cuter than her anime form. Personally, I prefer the sophisticated look of the latter.

xxxHOLiC 159-161: Whilst Watanuki realises that he can live without his memories as long as he’s the main character of the series, the bulk of these chapters seems to be affirming his HARD GAY relationship with Doumeki- with a visit to Early Chapters Fortune Teller and her new apprentice Kohane indicating that they are destined to be together. At the end of 161, however, a new customer comes to the shop- could this be the long-awaited start of a new story?

Yotsuba&! 55: Dad has plans to buy some clothes for the autumn, but Yotsuba being Yotsuba means that they inevitably get sidetracked when she decides that she needs to collect some acorns. Yes, it’s another delightfully whimsical chapter in the life of everyone’s favourite green-haired five-year-old; may it last for a good while yet.

Weekly Round-Up: July 26th

Karura — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 09:17:16 +0000

Reviewed this week: Amatsuki 10-11, Clannad Tomoyo Edition, Itazura na Kiss 15, Koihime Musou 3, Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 11, Mnemosyne 6, Nabari no Ou 15, Natsume Yuujinchou 3, Persona 18-20, Slayers Revolution 3, Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 3, Soul Eater 15, Telepathy Shoujo Ran 5, World Destruction 2, xxxHOLiC Kei 12-13

…and in manga: too lazy to read any!

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

Chi’s Sweet Home (1)- Chi plays
Kaiba (2) – who am I?
Soul Eater (3) – best exam ep ever
Hidamari Sketch x365 (4) – 365 times the fun
Natsume Yuujinchou (6) – Book of Friends
xxxHOLiC Kei (5) – not so bad <- complete!
Wagaya no Oinari-sama (8) – hot springs
Nabari no Ou (7) – change of side
Slayers Revolution (9) – Dragon Slave
Koihime Musou (11) – Guan Yu has more breasts and less beard
Persona Trinity Soul (10) – catch-up, start!
Real Drive (13) – chat program
Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ (14) – open the safe
Ryoko’s Case File (15) – superintendant
Antique Bakery (17) – super gay demon
Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (22) – biological weapon
Telepathy Shoujo Ran (18) – predictable
World Destruction (12) – cats
Amatsuki (16) – Kuchiha
Himitsu (19) – faceless
Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu (20) – secret otaku
Blade of the Immortal (21) – immortal worms
Allison and Lillia (24) – Travas-ty (sorry, Hanners)
Itazura na Kiss (23) – dislikeable cast
Chocolate Underground (25) – chocolate is forbidden

Amatsuki 10-11: Although episode ten was so underwhelming that I can’t actually remember anything beyond the fact that I watched it, episode eleven is marginally more interesting, with Tsuyukusa and Imayou plotting some kind of vaguely directed revenge, whilst Kuchiha, Toki and Shamon all get locked in a cellar (and no, there’s no punch line to that). I’m not even sure why I started watching such a mediocre, dull and forgettable series, but with only two episodes left I may as well see it to its conclusion.

*SPECIAL* Clannad~ Tomoyo Edition: The long-awaited Clannad 24 is here, and it’s Tomoyo’s turn to step up to the plate as the other girls vanish to let her gain Tomoya’s heart (Tomoyo and Tomoya, isn’t that nice?). Unfortunately, dating a delinquent isn’t such a good thing when you’re running for school council president, and it seems that outside pressures could very tear their relationship apart. Unfortunately, whilst this isn’t a particularly bad instalment, my focus has always been on Tomoya X Nagisa and so other pairings just don’t interest. Plus it’s the old thing of giving up your dreams for love- being the kind of person who wants it all, I always hate to see that situation.

Itazura na Kiss 15: After the fastest nuptials in the history of man (barring celebrity weddings, which don’t really count), Kotoko and Naoki are off on their honeymoon, and naturally, trouble isn’t far behind in the form of another newlywed couple in which the wife wants nothing more than to get into Naoki’s pants. So here we have Kotoko worrying over a husband who she still addresses by his last name, Naoki completely brushing off his wife, a woman who married a man she doesn’t love and only wants an affair, and her husband, a weakling who takes charge by hitting his wife. Oh, and the Irie family somehow sneak to Hawaii to spy on the honeymoon- a rather idiotic and overused ‘joke’ if ever there was one. Are there women out there who really find this sort of storytelling romantic? Do they long to be dominated by despicable assholes of men? I hope not.

Koihime Musou 3: The good thing about this show is that unlike other bastions of mediocrity, I can slip on a pair of rose tinted glasses and enjoy it- just because there are beautiful girls with Three Kingdoms names. This week, Guan Yu and Zhao Yun end up working in a maid café (in ancient China) for cash, whilst Zhang Fei makes such a hash of it that she wanders off and ends up entering a tournament held by Yuan Shao. Also in the tournament is named character Ma Chao, with both girls naturally getting to the final, fighting to a draw and being invited to work for Yuan Shao. Meanwhile, Cao Cao also makes an appearance, only to take an unnatural interest in seeing if Guan Yu’s hair is just as black and lustrous ‘down there’. No, really.

Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 11: After a long stretch of disappointment, KKN finally improve slightly in this episode, a Hyouka-centric story about the biological weapon’s first love. It may be a predictable tale, but aside from Kyouka’s inevitable attempts to turn it into a tired frenzy situation, it’s actually a pretty solid one. And I must admit to being amused when Hyouka accidentally sucked in Yuuka.

*COMPLETE* Mnemosyne 6: Mnemosyne has finally ground to a conclusion, and I have to say that it apart from being a platform for gratuitous sex and violence, it didn’t make a great of sense. In this episode, a disappointingly pathetic Rin confronts Apos, meets the previously unmentioned Guardian of Yggdrasil, and various other things happen that I probably shouldn’t spoil. Suffice to say that this OVA has been a disappointment and would have better aired way back in the 90s.

Is it wrong to want to cosplay as Apos?

Nabari no Ou 15: The Kouga arc ends in this episode, and once again I find myself wishing that I could really care about and get into this series, because it just keeps sliding superficially past my indifferent eyes. Whilst Aizawa proves to have God Mode switched on, evil eyepatch teacher attempts to murder the headmaster, but as the old guy is dying anyway, he’s already made plans to pass on the kinjutsu scroll. Oh, and some minor characters have dialogue and emotional scenes, but since they were only introduced a couple of episodes ago, no one really cares.

Natsume Yuujinchou 3: Natsume Yuujinchou picks up a little in this episode as our eponymous hero heads off to help some youkai who are being exterminated by an unknown person- complete with some Flashback Modes about a chapter in his childhood. It may not be particularly outstanding, but amidst the mediocrity of the summer season, this is a real breath of fresh air.

Persona Trinity Soul 18-20: Although I intended to marathon five episodes of Persona this week, I was only able to make it through three before my brain demanded stimulation, leaving me with six episodes to clear before the series can be deemed complete. In a confusing turn of events, Jun’s spirit has some gone to be with Ryou, leaving Yuki in charge of their body, whilst around them various things happen such Yamazaki perfecting alternate hairstyles for good and evil forms. I presume some kind of final boss confrontation is coming, but along the way not a great deal of interest is occurring.

Slayers Revolution 3: In a rather tiresome turn of events, John Smith (yes, I know his name is Weiser, but he looks like a John Smith) is here to arrest Lina for yet another crime she didn’t commit, and yet again she must search for the real culprit in order to clear her name. With that rather dull start, it takes about half the episode for the series to rev up to the usual levels of Slayers entertainment- and if this is to be the format for most episodes, it will get tired very, very fast.

Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 3: After picking up a little in episode two, Natsu no Sora backslides somewhat in this episode as our heroine takes on her first proper job- opening a safe. Of course, just opening it wouldn’t be all that exciting, so there’s more to the story than that, but ultimately it all falls flat to me- Sora’s interference may have helped the client, but at the same time it’s a bit like Captain Kirk destroying an alien paradise- you can’t help feeling they should have just let the situation be.

Soul Eater 15: It’s time for a Kid side story as he takes Patty and Liz to a ghost ship, and whilst Patty’s immaturity is becoming a little annoying, this is generally an entertaining episode. Much as I like Soul and Maka, I’m glad that all the protagonists get their chance to shine in the series- I think I’ll be happy to see this through to 51 episodes.

Telepathy Shoujo Ran 5: In case you hadn’t noticed already, something is amiss in the village, and as it turns out, it’s all tied to Evil-ish Former Teacher and a particular type of magical grass. From there, we have a conclusion to the story that just feels shallow and even stupid at points- for example, did the grass really have to go as far as ‘kill’ Midori just to make Ran summon the wind that would end its life? Couldn’t it have just asked for her to bring up a box of matches or something? How has this become even worse than the at least slightly interesting Mokke?

World Destruction 2: As I feared, World Destruction has rapidly gone downhill in this episode, as our three reluctant allies end up on a lawless ship where the Destruct Code promptly gets stolen. It’s basically the pirate ship level of the RPG, and after my hideous experience on the Zelbess in Chrono Cross, I’ve never been a fan of ships in RPG worlds. I fear I’ve taken on another lemon.

*COMPLETE* xxxHOLiC Kei 12-13: At long last, xxxHOLiC Kei can be crossed off the list, the series I never intended to watch but actually quite enjoyed. Episode twelve wraps up the Himawari arc with the hatching of her little bird, whilst episode thirteen is a coda to the series, first covering an earlier manga chapter in which Watanuki finds a thunder god in an electronics store before all the recurring characters come together for a party to

Tuesday Rumble: July 22nd

Karura — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 20:45:22 +0000

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei: the lost chapters

2-H enters the classroom, only to see that the whole place is lit by candles- Sensei is in the shadows.

Chiri: Sensei, what’s going on?

Chiri switches the light on, causing Sensei to rise up and scream.

Sensei: You mustn’t!

Maria: Sensei’s a vampire!

(Meru: Idiot.)

Sensei: Turn that light off! Class, today we must spend the entire day without relying on electricity once! Therefore, IT class is cancelled- we’ll watch an educational movie instead!

Chiri: But to watch the movie we’ll need a TV and DVD player.

Sensei: Zetsubou shita! The culture that relies so much on electricity has left me in despair!

Can’t use TV, games consoles or computers, among other things.
Even battery-powered laptops, mobiles and handheld gaming devices will need recharging.
Forgotten how to cook without oven, hob and microwave.
Water can only be boiled over a fire.
DVDs trapped in the player until power returns.
No lighting at night.

Amatsuki 8

“I may be huge, but this DOG will be Pleasurable.”

Hmm, does that still work these days?

“On top, maybe, but I won’t be your bitch.”

“I desire it that much!”

Amatsuki 9

Toki catches the eye of a potential HARD GAY partner.

“…already skilled in the ways of HARD GAY?”

“Why, when I was young, I barely knew of such things! How times change…”

“It’s just that you’re so damned good-looking!”

“Strip naked and prepared to be spanked!”

“Are you off to the blue light district again?”

“How many times do I have to tell you not to sleep around?”

They aren’t? My education has been sorely lacking.

The most common problem of FOX is highlighted.

Dragons’ Den

This week in the Den we have Haru and Kurama, who are here to pitch a revolutionary new form of the internet known as “The Metal”. Will the Dragons jump at the chance to be at the forefront of this technological revolution?

Kurama: Hello everyone, I’m Kurama, this is Haru, and we’re here today to pitch for investment in a brand new technological development called the Meta-Real, or Metal for short. Basically, what it allows you to do is dive into a virtual reality tailored to your choice.

Cardinal: Been there, done that.

Kurama: Ah, but this is different. Allow me to play a short video.

Kurama shows a video of the ocean-like nature of the Metal.

Aria: Punyu? [Why does it look like an ocean?]

Kurama: Well, uh, no one knows, really. But dogs have their own Metal, so presumably fat cats could too.

Mikoto: We are not fat!

Admiral: I have to admit that swimming around in a virtual ocean seems a bit too much like hard work to me- I’m out.

Kurama: But the possibilities are endless, like wish fulfilment, virtual sex and er, multiple orgasms.

Aria: Punyu! [There’s no way I can attach my name to such a seedy practice- I’m out.]

Mr Tibbs: Tell me, what sort of equipment do you need to connect to the Metal?

Kurama: Well, like Haru here, you can get yourself a cyberbrain- or you can use a special diving bell type apparatus.

Mr Tibbs: Could you tell me a little more about these cyberbrains? Would they let me log onto the bank directly?

Kurama: Yes, but you’d run the risk of having your brain hacked or your spare CPU cycles put to use by unscrupulous companies.

Mr Tibbs: Well, I have to admit that I’m unwilling to invest until those security risks are worked out, so I’m out.

Cardinal: I must admit that while I’m interested in virtual realities in general, this one does seem a little convoluted for my tastes. I understand that you were trying to be different, but I think it’s backfired- when I go online I want to relax, not literally go diving.

It seems as if the Metal isn’t a big hit in the Den- the Dragons have seen better virtual realities already. Kurama and Haru will have to leave emptyhanded.

Anime Big Brother

Maki settles into his room in the Big Brother house.

Aoki: Hey, Maki, did you bring your women’s clothes? I was hoping we could have a little dress up session later.

Maki: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Aoki: Yes you do, don’t you remember?

Maki: Shut up, Aoki!

Meanwhile, in the living room…

Allison: I love you, Wil!

Wil: Eh? Oh, that’s nice. Do you like my sweater?

Kuu-chan: Is dinner ready yet? I’m starving.

Lawrence: I’ll sell you these apples for three Thoreni silver coins.

Horo: Get away from those apples! They’re mine!

Doumeki: Watanuki, everyone’s getting hungry.

Watanuki: And I suppose you’re going to say it’s my turn to cook again? Honestly, I don’t know why I put up with this.

Doumeki: Don’t forget your apron.

Watanuki: Thanks- hey, wait a minute!

This Week in Anime

See what happens to oranges stored in the fridge.

Aagh, tangerines are taking over her brain!

Natsume Yuujinchou supports peaches!

Beyblade spotted on Wagaya no Oinari-sama.

Could this be the fruit invasion that we’ve dreaded for so long?

Agreed- that’s not suspicious at all.

Nice boat!

Tsubasa Chronicle, soon to be renamed Apple Chronicle.

Men, be sure to name your ‘weapon’ for a better Gun experience.

“You’ll use your right hand for the actual Hyper Self Pleasure.”

“This Hyper Self Pleasure isn’t working!”

Liang or Ezo, they all come under the same heading in the end.

“You’d think she’d have given up by now.”

I hate logos, images, icons and avatars! Put an end to them all!

“It’s not like we have time for full Pleasure right now.”

Pinocchio admits he’s more comfortable in the HARD GAY scene.

Anime World Tour: Chocolate Underground

Welcome to a world where voter apathy has caused the super healthy to take power! Don’t worry about sweets- chocolate, vanilla, honey and various other confections are banned, ensuring that all you’ll have to eat is a tasteless mush! You can also enjoy daily adverts and health bulletins, all of which are compulsory to ensure that you don’t accidentally miss them and regret it later! And don’t worry about rumours of secret underground facilities where they force you to eat hideous chocolate- the police are already seeking them out to make your world a safer and more tasteless place.

Reverse Harem of the week: Ange (Koi Suru Tenshi Angelique)

Other heroines may have had to make do with seven or eight bishounen, but Ange netted no fewer than nine protectors in her plot-free adventure.

Harem

Marcel: Obligatory blonde shota.

Olivie: Cross-dresser with a taste in Victorian-style fashions and bi-coloured hair.

Randy: Hot-headed, honest and open type.

Zephel: ‘Cool’ punk warrior type, becomes angered when he realises he doesn’t have a destined HARD GAY partner.

Luva: Quiet book lover; spends his days researching HARD GAY in the library.

Clavis: Calm and collected type with a semi-tragic past.

Oscar: Knight type with a fondness for HORSE.

Lumiel: Musician with HARD GAY ties to Clavis.

Julius: Blonde princely type.

Arios: Not a destined bishounen, but a wandering swordsman who randomly turns up later in the series.

Tuesday Rumble: July 15th

Karura — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:47:01 +0000

Dragons’ Den

(UK readers, a new series of the real Dragons’ Den begins next Monday at 9pm on BBC2.)

Making his way to the Den today are Himitsu’s Aoki and Maki, who are here in an attempt to franchise the device used at their workplace- the MRI scanner! Will the Dragons be interested in this revolutionary new application of the technology that enables the user to probe the minds of the dead?

Aoki: Hello, I’m Aoki-

Maki: Shut up, Aoki- let me do the talking. My name is Maki, and I’m here to pitch for investment in our new franchise centred on the MRI scanner. With this device, we can scan the brains of the dead and see the same images they did.

Mr Tibbs: Can I just ask you something- why are you dressed as a woman?

Maki: Er, it’s for a mission.

Aoki: Hey, I thought you said it was for a special treat later.

Maki: For the last time, Aoki, shut up!

Cardinal: The good thing about the dead is that they can’t reveal my secrets, er, I mean any crucial secrets. I most certainly won’t be investing in this.

Aria: Punyu? [Could you perhaps explain the science behind this? I don’t really understand how magnetic resonance imaging lets you see the thoughts of the dead.]

Aoki: Well, uh, neither do we-

Maki: That’s a trade secret! Look, is no one interested in seeing through the eyes of a dead person?

Mikoto: Well, no one ever dies in Mai-Otome- no one important, anyway- so it doesn’t make much difference. I’m out.

Dodgy science and a lack of application have lost most of the Dragons already. Will Maki and Aoki be able to rekindle their interest?

Admiral: So, you’re looking to sell this as a franchise?

Maki: That’s right- you pay us large wads of cash, and then we give you your own kit to start scanning dead brain.

Admiral: And how will the franchisee actually make a profit?

Maki: That’s up to them- we can’t be expected to think of everything!

Admiral: Well, I think I speak for all of us when we say that you’re sloppy, unprepared and unimpressive- I’m out.

Mr Tibbs: Maybe if you ditch Aoki, dress like a man and get a solid business plan, I’d be tempted to invest, but until then, I’m out.

It’s a disaster in the Den for Aoki and Maki, who will have to return to their day job at Section Nine- and no, that’s not the Section Nine with the lovely Ms Motoko Kusanagi.

Amatsuki 7

Kuchiha suggests STRAIGHT with a splash of DOG.

“Everyone knows that boys sleep with other boys.”

“Fine, go and be HARD GAY with your boyfriend!”

“I just can’t bear the thought of turning STRAIGHT!”

“Well, couldn’t we at least try some BI?”

“Now, let’s wash away all talk of STRAIGHT and BI with some good old HARD GAY.”

Don’t you just love moments like these, especially if they’re in slow-motion?

“What kind of rough HARD GAY is that?”

“You were the one who told me to get into it!”

Anime Big Brother

Big Brother: The time has come for me to read out the nominations for eviction. For being too stupid, we have Wil and Aoki; for being too stoic, Doumeki and for threatening to devour all the housemates, we have Heat. One of you will be leaving at the end of this paragraph, but for now, would you like to share a few words with your audience?

Doumeki: You can’t evict me without Watanuki- who will cook my lunch?

Watanuki: Why, you-!

Wil: I’m not stupid, I’m top of my class!

Allison: Then why can’t you tell I’m in love with you?

Wil: Sorry, Allison, did you say something?

Aoki: Oh, I’m up for eviction- oh well, back to the crossword. Hmm, three letters- “four legged animal that goes ‘moo’”. There’s a ‘C’ at the beginning- any ideas?

Heat: Shut up! I’ll devour you all!

Big Brother: Thank you. And now, the housemate who will be leaving is….Heat!

Heat transforms into Agni, roars and beats his chest.

Big Brother: In Heat’s place, the next person to join the Big Brother house is Maki from Himitsu! Look forward to it!

(Aoki: It’s as good as Sister, but hopefully he’ll bring his cross-dressing kit.)

This Week in Anime

Is that some kind of apple in the bottom left hand corner?

“NOOO!!! Don’t turn us into juice!”

We learn how the rubber duck came to the Hidamari Apartments.

Take note here, because these represent the strawberry cakes of doom that appear in Antique Bakery.

“All hail Tequila, our new god!”

Healthy cigarettes…

…amazing make-up…

…is there nothing these products can’t do?

Tomatoes are caught lounging on the vine.

Handling four Zhuge Liangs can be exhausting.

“HARD YURI only from here on.”

An epic tale of a boy with a monkey tail who gains shinigami powers and uses them to found his own pirate crew.

“But don’t worry- it’ll be pleasurable.”

Hey, who’s been eating the watermelon?

Here we see the legendary apple shrine.

Banana overload!

Mmm, tasty.

Aagh, a rubber duck of doom is floating silently towards you! Get out of there!

Faceless returns.

“You saw the legendary Golden Wang?”

Classic PC games: Alley Cat

As a cat lover, the chance to play as a cat couldn’t be passed up, even if it meant turning to a rather inferior and frustrating game. You take on the role of the titular alley cat, and your first goal is to avoid being eaten by dogs by jumping onto the dustbins on your street. From there, you must avoid more obstacles try to get into an open window, wherein a mini-game will commence within the rooms. These games usually involve avoiding more dangers, with one in particular requiring you to collect fish underwater without running out of air. Once the game is over, you get chucked outside again, but persevere and you might just find love with a lady cat. The graphics are simplistic, the game frustrating, but Alley Cat is nonetheless one of those titles that stick in the mind just for sheer effort.

In Your Reflection

In the latest of the increasingly rare head-to-heads, we compare Renton and Eureka from Eureka Seven with Seikichi and Sora from Oh! Edo Rocket. In both cases, we have a hot-headed and determined young man who defies the authorities, and the mysterious female love interest with a very special secret.

Weekly Round-Up: July 11th

Karura — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 22:12:42 +0000

There were times when we all felt that way about Busou Renkin.

Reviewed this week: Allison and Lillia 12, Amatsuki 8-9, Amuri in Star Ocean 1, Antique Bakery 1, Aria DVD Special, Chi’s Sweet Home 47-52, Chocolate Underground 4, Hidamari Sketch x365 1, Itazura na Kiss 13, Kaiba 9, KgNE Next Season 3, Koihime Musou 1, Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 10, Miyori no Mori, Nabari no Ou 13-14, Natsume Yuujinchou 1, Persona 12, Real Drive 11, Shion no Ou 22, Slayers Revolution 2, Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 1, Soul Eater 13-14, Telepathy Shoujo Ran 3, Wagaya no Oinari-sama 11, World Destruction 1

…and in manga: Tsubasa Chronicle 192

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

Chi’s Sweet Home (1)- Chi plays
Kaiba (2) – who am I?
Soul Eater (3) – best exam ep ever
Hidamari Sketch x365 (-) – 365 times the fun <-new!
Natsume Yuujinchou (-) – Book of Friends <- new!
xxxHOLiC Kei (5) – typhoid Himawari
Nabari no Ou (6) – change of side
Wagaya no Oinari-sama (4) – part-time job
Persona Trinity Soul (7) – catch-up, start!
Slayers Revolution (8) – Dragon Slave
Koihime Musou (-) – Guan Yu has more breasts and less beard <-new!
World Destruction (-) – cats <-new!
Real Drive (9) – chat program
Amatsuki (11) – Kuchiha
Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ (-) – slooowww start <-new!
Antique Bakery (-) – super gay demon <-new!
Telepathy Shoujo Ran (10) – mind-reader
Himitsu (12) – faceless
Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (13) – kyouran kaizoku
Itazura na Kiss (15) – dislikeable cast
Toshokan Sensou (14) – Dojo falls into the Lifestream <-complete!
Allison and Lillia (16) – Luke, I am your father
Chocolate Underground (17) – chocolate is forbidden

SLOW RANKINGS

Shion no Ou (1) – oh and by the way, I did it <-complete!
Tetsuko no Tabi (2)- is this ever going to be subbed?
Love GetChu! (3)- light entertainment
Gunslinger Girl- Il teatrino (4)- licensed
Himawari!! (5) – needs less plot

Allison and Lillia 12: Hello and welcome to another episode of such ridiculousness that even the lack of armour piercing pistols and super fast tanks can’t reduce the stupidity. You see, despite being a cold-blooded murderer and all-round suspicious sort, Major Stork is actually Allison’s long-lost father- and that makes everything all right. Never mind that he was a double agent who abandoned his own daughter and embarked upon a life of evil deeds- as long as he sends her a present on her next birthday, we can all play happy families again. Meanwhile, Benedict weds Fiona in a rather dodgy sham of a wedding ceremony, and Wil finally asks Allison to move in with him because it will save on living costs. How romantic.

Amatsuki 8-9: First up, it’s the obligatory flashback episode as we learn more of Kuchiha’s origins and how it ties in with various other supporting characters. Then it’s back to the present, where Toki and the others continue to take their quest at a measured pace (has no one told them that the series is ending soon?) and Heihachi gets a sound beating before learning about the past tragedy of a tree spirit and a fox demon. By this point it’s easy to see that the series’ main problem is that it doesn’t want to go anywhere fast- hardly a good move when the episode count is so low.

*NEW* Amuri in Star Ocean 1: Shallow as I am, I only acquired the first episode of this CG-animated OVA because it had ‘Star Ocean’ in the title, and perhaps I shouldn’t have bothered, given how little sense it all made. At some point in the future, solar radiation has caused the emergence of Adapters, humans with special abilities, and naturally the titular Amuri happens to be one of them. Thanks to her ‘Repulsion’ ability (she bounces off anything she touches, although the ability appears not be active 100% of the time as she can at least wear clothes), Amuri ends up in space with two other Adapter girls, where they somehow end up on the front lines of a stellar conflict- or so I just about gathered. Exactly what the point of it all might be is anyone’s guess.

*NEW* Antique Bakery 1: Through a mixture of hope that this would be like Bartender with cakes and desire to parody it, I decided to throw caution to the winds and see what a series about gay guys running a café would be like. In fact, very little happens in this first episode, which is mainly about introducing three of the four main characters; the (straight) proprietor of the Antique bakery/café who suffered trauma as a child when a burly man tried to force him to eat a strawberry cake of doom; the gay chef who got fired from all his other jobs because man of all sexual orientations can’t keep their hands off him and the boxer who learns he must quit his profession because of a detached retina (he learns this whilst eating a strawberry cake of doom). Expect parodies soon.

Aria the Origination DVD Special: Just when I thought that Aria had shown me all it had to offer in animated form, along came a special treat in the form of this DVD special. Billed as ‘episode 5.5’, the episode sees Akari take an afternoon off to wander round the places she doesn’t usually get to see in her work as an undine, and somehow Akatsuki ends up tailing her in hilarious fashion. This may only be a one-off extra episode, but one brief half-hour I was transported back to Neo Venezia, with all the wonders therein- humour mixed with poignant moments and just the right dash of magic.

Chocolate Underground 4: Four episodes in and our heroes finally get to the secret chocolate underground, a place of so many delectable treats that I could feel my mouth watering. Unfortunately, the preview tells us that the Chocolate Police are on the way to bust this modern-day speakeasy, which is something of a shame, but at least means the plot is going somewhere.

Chi’s Sweet Home 47-52: We’re halfway through Chi’s Sweet Home now and I never want it to end- whether she’s being left at home alone or going on an adventure with the big black cat (not that Chi thinks she’s a cat), Chi is so cute and lovable that I just want to pick her up and take her home.

*NEW* Hidamari Sketch x365 1: Having just finished the first season of Hidamari Sketch (plus the two special episodes), it hardly feels like x365 is new- it’s just a continuation of what I was watching a couple of weeks ago. That being said, anyone can jump in with this episode, which acts as a prequel to explain how Yuno came to attend Yamabuki High School and live in the Hidamari Apartments. As usual, there’s a good mix of slice-of-life and SHAFT craziness, so it’s all good fun.

Itazura na Kiss 13: You’d think that after half a series I might have warmed to the cast of Itazura na Kiss, but if anything, I hate them even more now that when I started. Whilst Kotoko contemplates marrying the annoying Kinnosuke through lack of other offers (wait a minute, girl, you’re only 19, there’s no need to rush), Naoki remains irritatingly silent about his true feelings, instead dating Christie through what seems to be a simple desire to ruffle everyone’s feathers. Will he finally come clean in the next episode? Even if he does marry Kotoko, as we know he must, do we really care anymore? How can everyone in this series be so shallow and annoying?

Kaiba 9: After what feels like an age of waiting, another episode of Kaiba has appeared to sate our appetites, not to mention deepen the mystery surrounding Popo, Neiro, Warp and ‘Kaiba’. For all his righteous talk, we already know that Popo is, to be frank, a bit of a bastard, but just how much has he manipulated Neiro’s memory? Quite a lot, it seems, and whether she can break through to the truth of her past will determine whether she’ll realise her feelings for Kaiba-Warp, or kill him in cold blood. One thing’s for sure- a series of this level of detail needs plenty of rewatching.

Kimi ga Nozomu Eien ~Next Season~ 3: Despite being labelled as the Haruka route, so far in this OVA we’ve had one episode about Haruka and another about Mitsuki, so it hardly seems surprising that the third instalment focuses on Akane. Torn between her feelings for Takayuki and her sister, Akane angsts her way through this half an hour, quietly suffering the awkward situation the two people closest to her have put her in. Unfortunately, even a cliff-hanger ending can’t really save this latest mediocre instalment in a mediocre OVA, and I’m becoming increasingly scared to go back to the TV series in case that too has lost its lustre.

*NEW* Koihime Musou 1: If Koutetsu Sangokushi was the HARD GAY retelling of the Three Kingdoms, then Koihime Musou must be the HARD YURI version, featuring as it does an all-female cast very loosely based on those famous historical figures. In this episode we meet the busty and beardless version of Guan Yu, who joins up with juvenile bandit Zhang Fei and shows her the error of her ways. Based on the ED, Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang will be joining them too, whilst beautiful women will also be representing the forces of Wu and Wei. It’s shallow, I know, but I like the character designs, I like the Three Kingdoms, and I prefer this to Ikkitousen, so I’m good to go.

Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 10: Each episode of Kyouran Kazoku Nikki represents its own little endurance trial, and this episode of ‘pirate frenzy’ is no different, featuring as it does a tiresome rivalry between two pirates as they race to be first to uncover a particular horde of treasure. Naturally, the family muscle their way into the action, resulting in another lacklustre outing filled with random madness and general lack of coherence. Why did I once think this series could make crazy humour work?

*MOVIE* Miyori no Mori: A two hour movie (well, 1:47 to be precise), Miyori no Mori is a pleasant little family film about a girl named Miyori who becomes guardian of a forest as a baby- hence the title. Flash forward ten years and Miyori is a city kid who is none too happy about being dumped in the countryside to live with her grandparents. Naturally, her prickly personality rubs everyone up the wrong way, but as she begins to accept the presence of the mysterious spirits in the forest, she becomes determined to save the forest from the plans of an evil corporation who want to build a dam and flood the village. It’s a pretty standard “kids versus evil capitalist” story, but it’s nicely animated and reminiscent of a Ghibli work.

Nabari no Ou 13-14: It’s time for something to happen as both sides head to Kouga Village, better known in the real world as a prestigious private school where ninjas attend special classes and no one else is any the wiser. Unfortunately, the Kouga student council has its own plans, resulting in a battle that ends up as a bit of a free-for-all. Nonetheless, there are some good moments in episode fourteen particularly, with Rokujou realising his feelings for Yoite, Yoite admitting that he really does want to live, and Aizawa putting his life on the line. Is the only way to exist in the world of Nabari to kill?

*NEW* Natsume Yuujinchou 1: When I previewed this series, I billed it as a sort of reverse Card Captor Sakura, and after the first episode, that’s still my impression, with our lead having to free all the monsters that his grandmother made contracts with. Helping him is by far and away the best part of the show- Nyanko-sensei, an Okami-esque creature who usually takes the form of a fortune cat. The only oddity is that Nyanko-sensei, who wants the contracts in the ‘Book of Friends’ for himself is helping on the condition that he gets the book if Natsume dies- so why not just kill him and take the book before too many contracts are lost?

Persona Trinity Soul 12: In amongst everything else, I’ve managed to fit in another episode of Persona for parody purposes, with this one revealing more about Ryou (who has to take drugs to control his Persona) and various shady evil forces. I’m still waiting for the point where the pace picks up and I understand what’s going on, but maybe that will come later.

Real Drive 11: After a couple of episodes which at least tried to get back to the main concept (in spite of poor execution), Real Drive is floating in shallow territory once more this time around as Minamo attends a classical music concert and learns that Kurama was once a legendary violin prodigy. The entire episode is then spent trying to return a violin to him- and, well, that’s about it. No, I know the series isn’t meant to be about violins, but what can you do?

*COMPLETE* Shion no Ou 22: The end of the series is finally here, and it’s the one we were all expecting as Shion outmatches Hani-meijin in their final game, and the police close in to finally arrest him. To be honest, the poor guy is probably in need of psychiatric help, given that he murdered Shion’s family just to help her improve at shogi. Yes, Hani, just because you lost your family means that everyone has to be orphaned in order to improve at shogi! Call me old-fashioned, but I’d prefer to just practise and play strong opponents. Also, Shion suddenly being able to speak again was a bit farfetched, if not unexpected.

Slayers Revolution 2: Remember the old days when you could cause general mayhem and destroy villages with abandon just because you were a main character? Well, those days are over, because Lina’s reputation is no so notorious that she’s about to be arrested for destruction she didn’t commit- unless she can find Digimon wannabe Pokota and prove that he is the real culprit. Unfortunately, the somewhat annoying Pokota is a slippery guy, so even a whole barrage of spells isn’t enough to stop him. Aside from the general annoyingness of Pokota, the episode is generally entertaining, but the animation is looking worse than ever- dare I say I preferred it in the old days?

*NEW* Someday’s Dreamers ~Summer Skies~ 1: I love the gentle tranquillity and beautiful artwork of the Someday’s Dreamers franchise, but somewhere along the line, this new anime has lost its way. With bland character designs and extended landscape shots (which aren’t even particularly impressive landscape shots since they seem to be slightly edited photography), this episode manages to accomplish in twenty-five minutes what the manga did better in a single chapter, as our main character heads off to Tokyo to begin training as a mage. Where’s the tortured love triangle, the mistake of going to the wrong place and only then finding out she was supposed to be in Tokyo? Where is Kumichi Yoshizuki’s beautiful, beautiful artwork?

Soul Eater 13-14: It’s time for two more instalments of straight-up entertainment with Soul Eater; first an action-packed episode in which Soul must overcome his fear of the black blood within him in order to battle an immortal werewolf, followed by a lighter-hearted and thoroughly enjoyable episode in which our protagonists must prepare for their exams with a flurry of study, preparation and downright cheating. This must surely be the most entertaining exam episode in the history of anime, featuring everything you could possibly want from such a story, all nicely wrapped up into a twenty-five minute bundle.

Telepathy Shoujo Ran 3: There’s an odd feeling of déjà vu in this episode as the bland and dull Tate Rui is captured by the evil Shiho Masked Villain, forcing Mai Ran to convince Natsuki Midori of the power of HiME friendship (whilst the enemy stands and waits) so they can fight this oddly familiar enemy. To be honest, I was hoping that Rui would turn out to be responsible for all the evil, but instead the kids’ teacher is the culprit, and now that the first enemy has been seen off (“I would have got away with it too, if not for those meddling kids”), they can go off and have fun and games whilst solving mysteries on the way. I can’t wait.

Oh, and for a couple more interesting observations, note how the shape of Midori’s eyes changed once she replaced evil with friendship, and how Evil Teacher’s mask somehow masked the scent of her perfume. Was it sprayed with Febreze?

*COMPLETE* Toshokan Sensou 12: Yes, the library wars have finally come to an end, with Riuva summarising it best in a post far more hilarious and satisfying that the episode itself could ever be. Whilst Kasahara looks after the unresponsive Dojo, various other things happen as we patiently wait for the inevitable happy ending between the two. So many people seem to have loved this series, but I just didn’t get it; maybe I’m just emotionally starved or something.

Wagaya no Oinari-sama 11: With the last arc finally done and dusted, the series is ready to move onto another adventure, although not an especially enticing one. What with all the breakages and house damage that she’s managed to cause, Kou decides she should really start making up for it by getting a part-time job, but guess what- she’s too much of a klutz to do more than rack up the destruction in the workplace as well. As the bills mount up, Kuu-chan decides to try working too, but even though she doesn’t do as badly as Kou, neither of them seem to be able to stay in work for very long, resulting in a painfully predictable instalment that returns everything to the status quo at the end. To be fair, even a couple of years ago I would have enjoyed this episode, but at this point it’s just annoyingly predictable.

*NEW* World Destruction 1: Although I wasn’t really intending to try this latest in a long line of RPG-based series, when Hanners showed me a screencap of Chocolat-esque cats, I knew I had to watch it. As it turns out (and these may be famous last words), the opening episode wasn’t too bad, introducing a world where humans are inferior to beastmen and one woman plots to destroy the world with a simple sphere. After our hero gets dragged along with her, action and craziness follow, and whilst it wasn’t anything special, it has at least proved entertaining for now. Here’s hoping it’s not going to degenerate in future episodes.

MANGA

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle 192: I was expecting something a bit more spectacular after CLAMP went on hiatus between this chapter and the last, but all we get is a continuation of the Flashback Mode as Syaoran Jr reveals that he has both his father’s name and sword, and well, very little else happens. Who knows how it long it will be before we actually see any kind of plot development?

Weekly Round-Up: July 5th

Karura — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 10:43:31 +0000

Reviewed this week: Amatsuki 7, Chi’s Sweet Home 45-6, Chocolate Underground 2-3, Himawari!! 5, Itazura na Kiss 12, Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 9, Nabari no Ou 12, Real Drive 8-10, Shion no Ou 21, Slayers Revolution 1, Soul Eater 12, Telepathy Shoujo Ran 1-2, Wagaya no Oinari-sama 10

…and in manga: Slayers Revolution 1-2

ANIME

CURRENT SERIES RANKINGS

Chi’s Sweet Home (2)- Chi plays
Kaiba (3) – who am I?
Soul Eater (5) – black blood
Wagaya no Oinari-sama (6) – Mubyou
xxxHOLiC Kei (7) – typhoid Himawari
Nabari no Ou (4) – change of side
Persona Trinity Soul (8) – catch-up, start!
Slayers Revolution (-) – Dragon Slave <- new!
Real Drive (9) – chat program
Telepathy Shoujo Ran (-) – mind-reader <- new!
Amatsuki (11) – the new Shounen Onmyouji
Himitsu (12) – faceless
Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (13) – those cat ears aren’t just for show
Toshokan Sensou (14) – library wars
Itazura na Kiss (10) – heart attack
Allison and Lillia (15) – yawn
Chocolate Underground (16) – chocolate is forbidden

SLOW RANKINGS

Shion no Ou (1) – oh and by the way, I did it
Tetsuko no Tabi (2)- is this ever going to be subbed?
Love GetChu! (3)- light entertainment
Gunslinger Girl- Il teatrino (4)- licensed
Himawari!! (6) – needs less plot

Amatsuki 7: With such long gaps between episodes, it’s hard to remember what’s going on or particularly care about the mediocre world of Amatsuki. Nonetheless, the story rumbles on, with Toki spending pretty much the entire episode getting ready to head off on a search for a way to break the cross-dressing princess’ curse, and various other characters wandering around aimlessly. How did I end up watching such an incredibly average series?

Chi’s Sweet Home 45-6: As all cats owners will know, our feline friends like attention- but only if it’s on their own terms. Unfortunately, the Yamadas have yet to grasp this fact, and so it’s up to Chi to teach them that cats need attention, but they hate too much attention.

Chocolate Underground 2-3: What I want from Chocolate Underground is secret factories producing tons of sweet confections- what we’ve got so far is our two leads finding a clue to the location of the hidden chocolate traders and a not-so-subtle warning as to the dangers of not voting. Then the next episode dithers around and wastes time as our leads try to follow up on the clue, but overall there’s a feeling that the series doesn’t really want to go anywhere- it’s just content to fill each five minute episode with whatever it can.

Himawari!! 5: It’s time for another outing in the world of ninja mediocrity as the main characters head off to rescue Azami from trouble after s/he sneaks into the place where the ninjas from the boys’ school are being held. To be fair, this is slightly better than the monster-of-the-week episodes, but I still miss the days when there weren’t any evil villains lurking in the background. Meanwhile, Hayato’s attempt to get a decent meal by turning up at a VIP party after his emergency bread turns out to have gone mouldy at least prove amusing.

Itazura na Kiss 12: With his father in the hospital, Naoki is in danger of being forced into the company through guilt, but first, he ends up being set up with the daughter of another rich CEO- something which makes Kotoko and Yuuko united in their desire to see off this new rival. To be honest, by this point in the series I couldn’t really care less about the characters, so there’s not much incentive to be bothered one way or the other about what happens.

Kyouran Kazoku Nikki 9: It’s a slightly better episode of Kyouran Kazoku Nikki this time around, as Ouka, Kyouka and Shinigami-sama fight against the mysterious Odessa Ei and learn a little about Kyouka’s past. Even the usual pointless craziness is very much in evidence, these character revelations and a lack of need to force every family member into every scene does make this episode stand out above most of the others, although it’s still not enough to properly redeem this series.

Nabari no Ou 12: It’s at this point that I have to admit that for all its potential, Nabari no Ou is seriously beginning to disappoint me. Kairoushuu has been the enemy up until this point, but in this episode Rokujou just walks into their base and has a friendly dinner with them- “never mind all that massacring of generics and trying to kill my friends, I must help my boyfriend Yoite”. Admittedly he could just be playing both sides in an attempt to save the friends that Yoite has held hostage, but having such an apathetic main character seems to have cast a pall over the whole series, in which only rare moments such as Raimei versus Raikou really bring out the emotion the series needs.

Apparently this is what all the British schoolboys are wearing this summer.

Real Drive 8-10: After the disappointment of episodes 5-7, episode 8 continues the trend with another unspectacular instalment, this one an excuse for a swimsuit episode as a ‘ghost’ is seen in the school. In fact, the true cause of the problems- a company using the spare CPU cycles in people’s cyberbrains- is an interesting concept, but again it’s somewhat shoved aside in favour of the less interesting aspects of the series.

Episode nine tries to take a tone more befitting to the series as we meet Minamo’s father and learn how just one small outage in the Metal could prove disastrous- but what is more important, people’s safety or the reputation of the system? Unfortunately, it loses something in the execution, becoming more dry and dull than outright interesting.

Finally for now, we have episode ten, in which Haru becomes linked to a chat program named Eliza, but when she proves adept in exploiting the weakness of anyone with a cyberbrain, it falls to Minamo to enter a diving bell and brave the Metal to save him. This isn’t a bad episode, but again the core idea of interest is glossed over- come on, let’s explore the meat of this unique future.

Shion no Ou 21: It’s time for the penultimate episode of the series (I’ll watch the finale before the end of next week), in which Hami-meijin becomes ever more ridiculous in his near admission of his guilt. As it turns out, he killed Shion’s family to help her reach her true potential in shogi, which I’m sure must make sense to someone out there, because personally I don’t see the connection.

*NEW* Slayers Revolution 1: It feels strange to have brand new Slayers so long after the previous Slayers series were produced (although it does give me hope for a second season of Lost Universe)- is 2008 too sophisticated for good old fashioned fantasy comedy? Well, the jury’s still out on that, because while the old jokes are still amusing, and the mix of decent and simplistic animation can be forgiven, what’s up with this brand new Digimon rip-off that can cast the Dragon Slave? There’ll be more on him in my manga coverage, but for now he’s the weak link in this new series.

Soul Eater 12: Whilst the black blood continues to endanger Soul’s future, even her fellow witches are getting tired of Medusa- but as we know, one shot characters have no hope of successfully defeating her. With that in mind, this is a predictable instalment, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want the Medusa arc to be over as soon as possible, but it’s still enjoyable enough.

*NEW* Telepathy Shoujo Ran 1-2: The first wave of summer series is with us, and appropriately enough it starts with mediocrity in the form of Telepathy Shoujo Ran, a series in which our protagonist discovers her telepathic powers after a run-in with an antagonistic transfer student with the same abilities. Now everyone except her beloved cardboard cut-out Rui thinks she’s a freak, but in the meantime there’s all sorts of mysteries lining up to be solved. I can see this becoming another Mokke, only with less interesting characters.

Wagaya no Oinari-sama 10: The Reversed Circle story finally comes to an end in this episode (at least, we can hope it does), as the mystery of the two Mubyous is solved, and everyone becomes friends at the end. I’m actually a little sad at the loss of the cute doll puppets, but other than that, this was a mildly entertaining arc, nothing more.

MANGA

*NEW* Slayers Revolution 1-2: Accompanying the new anime we have a companion manga, with slightly off character designs and a near-identical story. The first chapter is much the same as the first episode of the anime (albeit with Pocota the Digimon using the Sword of Light), whilst the second chapter reveals that our newest Dragon Slave user is out to destroy all anti-magic tanks.

Tuesday Rumble: June 10th

Karura — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 21:54:01 +0000

Forget the DS- how about the Five Screen?

Are two screens just not enough? Perhaps you want a bit more challenge when it comes to keeping track of onscreen events? Then why not invest in the new Five Screen? Arranged in the shape of an open-topped cube, the Five Screen unfolds to reveal all of its screens, each of which can be configured to be a touch screen. Use screens to control your characters, keep track of enemy stats, view overworld maps and much, much more! The insanity just keeps mounting up when you try to play anything on the Five Screen!

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei: the lost chapters

Sensei: Class, today we will be visiting all of your homes for some long overdue spring-cleaning!

The class visits various homes, chucking out everyone’s personal belongings.

Kafka: Sensei, why are we doing this?

Sensei: We need to minimise! Throw out all these useless belongings and start anew!

Chiri picks up something.

Chiri: But this might be useful someday!

Sensei: Zetsubou shita! The society that hangs onto clutter that might be useful has left me in despair!

Keeping clothes that don’t fit you even though they’ll be out of fashion by the time you lose weight.
Picking up free gifts and discarded items in case they might be useful at home.
Keeping spare parts for a car or appliance you got rid of years ago.
Keeping toys your kids have grown out of in case your friends have children.

*NEW* Anime Big Brother

As Necromancer and the internet-departed Hopeless know, Tuesday Rumble leeches some of its best ideas from random conversations with others, which is why credit goes to Hanners for this new feature. This week we’ll be meeting the first bunch of housemates, and even if, like me, you care little or nothing for the real show, I promise this will be worth the read.

Lawrence: A travelling merchant and trader, Lawrence’s desire to make a profit will no doubt manifest when he meets his fellow housemates.

Horo: Known as Horo the Wise, this wolf-girl has several lifetimes of experience and the ability to transform into a giant wolf, but will her insatiable love of apples endear her to the audience?

Kuu-chan: An ancient fox who has forgotten his or her true gender, Kuu is powerful, capricious and bound to shake things up amongst the housemates.

Allison: A young pilot with boundless energy and a definite crush on Wil- but will their extended time in close proximity enable him to finally grasp it?

Wil: An intelligent and bookish young man who might just be pulled out of his shell in the Big Brother house.

Aoki: Having taken some time off from his important work at Section Nine Mark II, will Aoki be able to put aside his dedication to reports to integrate with the housemates?

Watanuki: A young man with the ability to see spirits and a rare talent for cooking.

Doumeki: Watanuki’s schoolmate, stoic to the point of being little more than rock.

Lelouch: An ambitious young man with a unique ability to control others around him- if he can use it successfully on such an unusual group of housemates.

Heat: A member of the Embryon Tribe from Digital Devil Saga’s Junkyard, Heat has a tendency to transform into a demon when angered or just hungry.

Amatsuki 5

“…all of it kinky.”

“But sadly it all contravenes broadcast regulations, so we have to wait until later.”

“Are you ready to see my most intimate secrets?”

“This takes all the fun out of guessing, I know.”

“We can’t have HARD GAY!”

“Cross-dressing is the norm around here.”

“As is castration.”

I have to admit there are some conveniences I’d rather go without.

Er, yes…

“My knowledge of arcane Pleasure techniques has made me a sought after lover.”

“Of course, without adequate time to prepare, I might damage my partner in the heat of the moment.”

“Even though, I consider myself a master of Pleasure.”

“…just as long as my Liang is in perfect condition.”

This Week in Anime

“Watermelon, do exactly as I say or I’ll smash you with this stick!”

Shinichiro’s mother’s secret apple habit is exposed.

…but which is better? There’s only one way to find out…

“So many apples…”

“Normally you’re in and out of the bedroom in about twenty minutes.”

Phone sex, Hyper Self Pleasure and DOG all in one go?

“I’ve done it! I’ve created the ultimate cat!”

What more can I say?

Even Sunao has fallen to the apple curse.

“Oh come, there’s no way I can service this many men in one evening.”

“Hang on a moment, I’ll call Akagi and tell him there’s a match on.”

“Sir, we have a Very Close Alert!”

“Give me more details!”

“I can’t- that’s all the monitor is telling me!”

Mutant purple lemons introduced at the latest Fruit Conference.

“Cross-dressing forever!”

Oranges are pros at draining the energy of nearby life forms.

“At last- the perfect apple has been selected!”

“Mmm, crunchy.”

The Jewellery Channel is still popular even in the future.

Classic PC games: Hocus Pocus

A platformer from the mid-90s, Hocus Pocus sees you take on the role of the eponymous wizard as you attempt to save the dimensions from evil and earn enough kudos to impress both your elders and your sweetheart. Set over four episodes (the first of which is shareware) of nine levels each, Hocus Pocus is all about the usual platformer content of collecting items, earning bonuses, defeating enemies and of course facing ridiculously oversized bosses.

Although all the environments are similar (being palette-swapped mystical castles based on different themes such as Egyptian, jungle or classical European), the game is good fun throughout, although there is something of an imbalance between difficulty levels (in easy mode, you lose 4% of health per hit, but in normal this triples to 12%, and in hard it is 16%). The background music is generally catchy, making this a nice little game that will entertain beginners and experienced players alike.

Mini-editorial: Is it a blogger’s ‘duty’ to write about everything they see/watch/play?

An odd thought occurred to me some weeks ago- since I go to the trouble of maintaining my blog, should I try to make it as complete as possible by reviewing every single game, anime and manga series that passes my way? Should I make my review archive as complete as it can possibly be instead of not reviewing something because everyone else watched it years ago and I can’t bring anything new to the discussion (or even admit that I only recently caught up on it?). Obviously, it’s up to me to decide what to write on here, but does anyone else get caught up in this feeling of having a ‘duty’ to express one’s opinions whenever and wherever possible? Or is it good to enjoy a series from time to time without worrying too much about what you’re going to write about it afterwards?

Harem of the week: Tate Yuuichi (Mai-HiME manga)

Elevated in importance in the manga, Tate became the Key to releasing the power of two HiMEs.

Harem

Mai: The impossibly large breasted main HiME who ends up living with Tate.

Natsuki: The tsundere HiME who ends up living with the others after her dorm is wrecked, resulting in a high friction ménage à trios.

Shiho: A PRINCESS who turns up later in the manga.