In the quiet village of Yamayura, Hakuoro, a masked man without any memory of his past, awakens to an unfamiliar world of humans with animal ears and tails. This is the world Hakuoro must live in now, and in time, he will not only gain a name, but also followers, allies, and an empire of his own. But will his newfound nation survive the machinations of opposing countries and the truth about his mysterious past?

Although it could easily be argued that I’ve written more than enough about Utawarerumono, it didn’t feel right to let the series go without some kind of final review to tie up all my feelings about it. This will be a little different than a standard review, simply because for me, Uta was a series of two halves, “before playing game” (episodes 1-12) and “after game” (episodes 13-26), with my perspective accordingly changed by experience with the source material.

Based on the trailer and early episodes, it initially seemed as if Utawarerumono would be the anime adaptation that the Suikoden video games never got- a pastoral fantasy of empire building, battles, and many named characters. It was this idea that promised such potential, but unfortunately, the series was set to deliver something rather different.

Although it only became abundantly clear in the ‘post game’ era, Uta was not to be so much an epic adventure as one that skirted (and often crossed into) the realms of cheese and unintentional hilarity. Despite being able to forge his own empire within the space of six episodes, Hakuoro seems more concerned with creating his own harem than in any kind of statecraft, whilst his opponents seem about as deep and effective as pantomime villains (for further examples, see my Uta parodies). Even the fantasy aspect was ruined somewhat when it was discovered that the Uta world was in fact the far future of a generic sci-fi era.

That being said, there is something oddly addictive about Uta. Perhaps it was the infinite possibilities that the setting seemed to provide, or maybe it was as simple as the beauty of the better character designs, but despite its many flaws, Uta demanded attention throughout its run. In the post game era, it became clear the story was not going to have the depth of the game (in fact, the pacing of the series’ second half was questionable at best), but nonetheless it became important to continue watching and see the game events and characters in animated form.

Visually, Uta is an extremely mixed bag. Backgrounds are usually well drawn, but character designs range from the aesthetically pleasing to the downright ugly, and action scenes are the most variable aspect of them all. When main characters are fighting, some effort is put into their swordplay, but battles involving generic warriors (all of whom have been cloned from the same man) are laughably bad. Woptar (lizard) mounted cavalry lurch around in eternally looping CG, whilst foot soldiers half-heartedly raise their swords and lurch back and forth on the spot.

Final Thoughts
Although it had its scattered strong moments, ultimately Utawarerumono was unable to deliver as anything other than a gateway to the game and parody source. I will always recall the franchise fondly, but not so much because the anime had a great deal in the way of merit, as because it could have been so much more.

Hakuoro here. I am sorry to report that HARD GAY has taken over my body completely, and even now I grapple with my destined partner, Dii. The only hope of regaining the harem lies in defeating him and destroying the last of the HARD GAY temptations, but am I already too far gone to manage that?

The playable characters watch the fight between Monster Hakuoro and Monster Dii.

Oboro: Do you mean to say that even though he spent all that time building a harem, ani-ja was actually HARD GAY?

Benawi: I believe he genuinely did want to be a harem master, but in the end he was overcome by suppressed HARD GAY impulses.

Monster-Dii: Isn’t this just the best, Hakuoro? The ultimate bestiality!

Monster-Hakuoro: Yes! YES!

Monster-Dii: Come on, Hakuoro, show me the true extent of your HARD GAY! This is the kind of relationship I wanted everyone to experience at least once.

(Mutsumi: Dii has found his HARD GAY, but what about my HARD YURI?)

The two monsters continue to grapple, until Flashback Mode activates and takes us back to the era of Mikoto and Iceman. The couple now have a child.

(Iceman: My plans for a furry world are progressing nicely.)

Iceman gives the baby the ring that will later be passed down to Eruruu.

Iceman: Take this- it will be important to the plot sometime in the future.

Unfortunately, the idyllic family life is interrupted by the arrival of Imperial Stormtroopers. Iceman and Mikoto are captured; Iceman awakens back in the lab, now in restraints. A scientis approaches.

Iceman: You bastard! You are jeopardising the future of the furry world!

Scientist: Hahaha, I am an evil scientist! Not only have I dissected your beloved Mikoto, but I have created a replica of your mask so that I too can become attractive to furries!

Iceman: I will make it so that you will never be attractive to anyone again! Instead, you will be trapped in the bodies of low-level RPG monsters!

Iceman transforms into a shadowy, monstrous form and transforms all the scientists in the lab into slimes.

(Iceman: What’s happening? I am awash with conflicting feelings! HARD GAY, harem, which should I choose?)

For some reason, a satellite fires a giant HARD GAY laser down at the earth. Monster-Iceman splits into two halves, which Mutsumi is conveniently on hand to seal away.

(Mutsumi: If I seal away the forces of HARD GAY and harem, perhaps a world of HARD YURI can truly come to pass.)

Back in the present…

Monster Hakuoro: All this time, I was meant to be fighting for harem, but you tried to convert me to the side of HARD GAY!

Monster Dii: Harem is wrong! HARD GAY is the best future for the planet!

Monster Hakuoro: If that is so, then you will have no objections to fusing with me, for I suddenly know how to do that!

Monster Hakuoro absorbs Monster Dii.

Eruruu: Hakuoro-san…

Monster Hakuoro: I am sorry, Eruruu. I tried to become a harem master, but instead I am stuck in this HARD GAY form.

Eruruu: Hakuoro-san, I don’t care! I realised that you were HARD GAY a long time ago, but I still want to make you tea!

Monster Hakuoro: Urotorii, my series is almost over. Please seal me away now.

(Urotorii: Should I do it? It will enable me to claim the harem as my own full-time HARD YURI partners, but then again, it might upset dear Eru.)

Mutsumi: Let’s do it. I will help you.

(Mutsumi: I wasn’t able to start a HARD YURI world when I sealed him away before, but this time will be different.)

Mutsumi: As a token of my good faith and hope for the future of HARD YURI, I will give Kamyu back to you.

Mutsumi leaves Kamyu’s body.

Monster Hakuoro: Urotorii, hurry up! I can’t contain the HARD GAY for much longer!

Urotorii and Kamyu begin the chant of sealing and rune-inscribed pillars rise up out of the earth. As Monster Hakuoro sinks into the earth, Monster Dii’s shade struggles against the confinement.

Oboro: Everyone, standard attack animations!

Oboro, Benawi, Kurou, Dorii, Guraa, Karura and Touka all stab their weapons into Monster Hakuoro.

Monster Hakuoro: Both men and women at once- this must be how it feels to be BI! Now I can depart in peace.

Monster Hakuoro dissolves into a blinding flash of light. Everyone is briefly transported to a featureless world, where the spirit of Hakuoro speaks to them.

Hakuoro: Well everyone, it looks like this is the end, and that means it’s time for my heartfelt farewell scene. Since I’m so incredibly skilled in the bedroom, I know you’re all sad to see me go, but I’m afraid you’ll have to find new partners now.

Oboro: Ani-ja, I wanted to be HARD GAY with you just once.

Dorii/Guraa: So did we!

Hakuoro: I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for that now. Oboro, you must take my place as the puppet emperor, whilst Benawi rules from the shadows.

Eruruu: Hakuoro-san, before you go…was I first wife in your harem?

Hakuoro: Well, since I didn’t get Yuzuha pregnant in this version, I guess you were.

Hakuoro kisses Eruruu and departs. Flash forward to the obligatory ‘what they all did next’ scenes.

Oboro prays at Yuzuha’s grave.

Oboro: Damn, I finally got Hakuoro out of the way, and you had to go and die. I guess it’s HARD GAY all the way for me now.

Benawi and Kurou approach.

Benawi: So, you’re leaving?

Oboro: Yep- everyone knows you’re the better emperor, so you might as well be the real king instead of just the shadow one.

Dorii and Guraa run up to Oboro.

Dorii/Guraa: Young Master, your our favourite HARD GAY partner! Don’t leave us now.

Oboro: Oh well, I guess I’d better take some companionship along to warm my bed at night.

Oboro, Dorii and Guraa leave.

(Kurou: At long last Benawi is all mine again!)

Elsewhere, Karura and Touka run away from generics for some unspecified reason.

Touka: I never thought HARD YURI would be this much fun!

Karura: You bet it is. I wish my past with Urotorii had been explained, but I guess there’s no time for that now.

Munto runs up to tell Urotorii that Kamyu is missing again.

Urotorii: It’s okay, she’ll be back for HARD YURI later.

Sakuya and Kuuya sit together in a field of flowers. Kuuya still has the mind of a child.

(Sakuya: Why do I have to look after the infant?)

Aruruu and Kamyu share a honeycomb whilst resting against Mukkuru.

Aruruu: This is fun.

In a village somewhere, Eruruu works as a physician. As she walks along a path, she sense something behind her, turns around and smiles. What did she see? That will have to wait for the nonexistent sequel.

THE END.

Hakuoro here. Although I have finally managed to add Kuuya to my harem, it is a bittersweet victory. No matter how successful I am with my harem, the demands of my monstrous HARD GAY side refuse to disappear, and I worry that it will soon jeopardise everything that I have worked for…

Urotorii and Hakuoro are talking.

Hakuoro: If we’re to combat Mutsumi, I need to know about HARD YURI.

Urotorii: Hakuoro-sama, leave HARD YURI matters to me. The important thing is that we get Kamyu back. Mutsumi should be conveniently waiting for us in Onkamiyakumai- all we need to do is go to her and fight a boss battle.

The nest day, Benawi and Oboro have a duel in the HARD GAY training area. Dorii, Guraa and Kurou watch.

Benawi: You are getting better, but you are not a worthy match for my skills yet.

Hakuoro comes over to have a private talk with Oboro.

Hakuoro: Oboro, if something happens to me, I want you to lead everyone.

(Hakuoro: Benawi is more suited to the role, but he would make me look bad if he was openly in charge.)

Later, Hakuoro goes to see Kuuya, whose mind has reverted to a mental age of about eighteen months.

(Hakuoro: This is an empty victory indeed- I would rather have the mind of a woman in the body of a child than the other way around.)

(Sakuya: Kuuya only remembers Hakuoro now- she will never want to be HARD YURI with me again.)

That night, Oboro sits by Yuzuha’s bedside and considers Hakuoro’s words.

(Oboro: Although there are many better suited to the job, he wants me to lead everyone! I’ve almost come to terms with being HARD GAY, but this reopens the chance of my taking over the harem. Perhaps I should turn BI and get the best of both worlds.)

Meanwhile, Aruruu and Eruruu come to see Hakuoro.

Eruruu: Hakuoro-san, you can’t possibly fight this battle alone. Let us come with you- I can heal, and Aruruu has high defence.

(Hakuoro: As always, I hate putting the harem in danger, but they have a point. My stats are low.)

The next morning, Hakuoro, Eruruu and Aruruu ride out. They are joined by all the other available playable characters.

Touka: Hakuoro-dono, we have not levelled up our stats to be left behind now.

The party reaches Onkamiyamukai with surprisingly little difficulty. Urotorii leads them to an underground room.

Urotorii: This is a previously unmentioned area which I just happen to know how to open. Let’s go inside.

Urotorii opens the way, and a room filled with slimes is revealed. Mutsumi emerges from behind the slimes.

Mutsumi: I’ll just hover up here whilst you fight those monsters.

Kurou: Slimes? Aren’t they usually the sort of monster you fight at the beginning of the game?

Hakuoro: We don’t have time for the usual procedure. I’m going ahead.

Hakuoro, Eruruu and Aruruu run past the slimes and reach a door.

Hakuoro: What do we do now?

The ring plaited into Eruruu’s hair starts glowing, and the door opens.

Eruruu: So, my hair ring was actually a plot device!

(Hakuoro: What’s happening? I think I’m entering Flashback Mode!)

We return to the past era of Iceman and Mizushima.

Mizushima: Iceman, they are planning to freeze you again. If you want to ensure the start of the furry world you desire, you and Mikoto must escape to the surface with the other furries our lab has created.

Iceman and Mikoto go out to the surface, but in the lab, other furries (Mutsumi included) await.

Back in the present, Hakuoro, Eruruu and Aruruu enter Mutsumi’s boss room. Eruruu and Aruruu are swiftly knocked out of the combat zone, leaving Hakuoro to dodge Mutsumi’s energy blasts.

Mutsumi: I will not let you interfere with my vision of a HARD YURI world!

Hakuoro: I don’t want to fight you- I might lose!

As Mutsumi prepares to fire a finishing blast, Aruruu shields Hakuoro.

Hakuoro: Kamyu, remember your place in my harem! You should be by my side along with the others!

Mutsumi is clearly conflicted, but even as she struggles, Dii arrives.

Dii: Mutsumi, you must not waver in the face of harem. Our HARD GAY vision must come to pass.

Hakuoro: Never- harem is the true path!

Dii: Harem? Where you bind underage girls and force them to your will? Is that really the best future for the world?

Eruruu: Stop! I may be a member of Hakuoro’s harem, but I am free to indulge in HARD YURI as well! Both sides can coexist.

Dii: Oh, well that’s different, then. All I really wanted was to sleep with you, Hakuoro, but we’re running out of time so I guess I’ve lost. Go and enjoy your harem.

(Hakuoro: HARD GAY? With Dii? I have to admit, I am intrigued.)

Hakuoro: Since instant changes of heart are all the rage these days, then I’m afraid I’ve changed my mind. Eruruu, I am going to release you from the harem whilst I see my HARD GAY impulses through to their natural conclusion.

Eruruu: Hakuoro, wait!

(Eruruu: All my hard work, all that tea I made- he’s rendered it all pointless!)

Hakuoro transforms into his monster form.

Monster Hakuoro: Do you think that even you can satisfy this form, Dii?

Dii: You fool- you know that I am the most HARD GAY man in this entire series!

Dii transforms into his own monstrous form.

Monster Dii: Let the HARD GAY commence!

Meanwhile, back in the first room, everyone else is still battling the slimes.

Kurou: Why do I feel that the plot has been moving forward without us?

As the room begins to collapse, they all run outside. They watch as the two HARD GAY monsters smash their way out through the roof.

Touka: You mean after all that, Hakuoro-dono was really HARD GAY?

How will the HARD GAY showdown end- and what will the harem think now that they know Hakuoro’s true inclinations? Find out next time, in the exciting conclusion! (I can’t guarantee that it will actually be exciting.)

Hakuoro here. In an effort to protect my harem and myself from the insidious temptations of HARD GAY, I have started to fight back in earnest against the forces of Kunnekamun. With Genjimaru’s skill on my side, their Avu Kamuu should now be easily defeated, and it will only be a matter of time before I can reach Kuuya and add her to my harem…

Tusukuru and allied forces march on Kunnekamun. The Avu Kamuu are now easily beaten. In her palace, Kuuya receives reports of Hakuoro’s actions.

(Kuuya: Hakuoro, I just don’t understand this. I marched on your country, attacked your people, and now you’re fighting back?)

Once all the generics have slaughtered each other, the named characters move forward into Kunnekamun. Unfortunately, they are attacked by a band of zombies.

Zombies: Grr, aargh!

From his lab, Dii watches Hakuoro and the others fight.

(Dii: In the game, Kanhorudari and I went out to fight them at this point, but there isn’t time for that now.)

Dii: Activate arbitrary teleport mode! Bring the main party to the throne room so that we can finish this quickly and get onto my arc!

Hakuoro, Genjimaru and Eruruu are teleported to the Kunnekamun throne room.

Kuuya: Ah, good, you’re here. Now we can settle this as one harem master to another.

Hakuoro: Kuuya, why are you doing this? Why not just join my harem?

Eruruu: Kuuya, that way you can even be HARD YURI with me.

Kuuya: You just cannot understand my complexity. World peace is the one desire I hold above all others, and for that reason, I must start wars and kill everyone in my path. Now, let’s dispense with the chatter and begin the battle- summon Avu Kamuu!

Kuuya’s silver Avu Kamuu theatrically rises out of the floor and she gets inside. Hakuoro moves forward to face her, and easily blocks her first blow.

Eruruu: Hakuoro!

Genjimaru: Don’t worry, Kuuya’s stats are low.

After a few blows, however, Hakuoro is in trouble.

Genjimaru: Perhaps I overestimated Hakuoro’s stats. Hakuoro, take this sword and attack exactly where I tell you!

(Hakuoro: The old man really is coming in handy.)

Hakuoro follows Genjimaru’s directions and Kuuya’s Avu Kamuu is disabled just as everyone else arrives.

Kuuya exits the Avu Kamuu and draws a dagger.

Kuuya: You may have your entire party here, but I can still fight!

Hakuoro: It’s true that if you kill me it will be game over, but I doubt you could raise your hand against the main character.

Kuuya: Damn you! Your subtle trickery has completely confused me- and I don’t have anyone to tell me what to do or think! I forfeit.

Kuuya submits to Hakuoro, but in short order Dii arrives.

Dii: Genjimaru, I thought you would support my vision of a HARD GAY world, but instead you have brought a harem master here with you.

Genjimaru: I am sorry, but I’ve chosen to side with the main character- he’s more likely to win.

Dii: In that case, old man, I shall have to forego your experience and go for younger, stronger partners. I summon Hien and Hauenkua!

Hien and Hauenkua’s Avu Kamuu appear from nowhere.

Kuuya: Ah, Hien, Hauenkua, you’re obviously still working for me, so follow my orders!

Hien: I’m sorry, but we don’t want to be a part of your harem anymore- we want character development!

Hauenkua: Hahahaha, Dii has promised to turn me into a woman! You would have kept me as a man.

Genjimaru: Hien, Hauenkua, if you won’t listen to her, then at least listen to me, the real power behind the throne.

Hien: Grandpa, why don’t you join us? We can all be HARD GAY together.

Kuuya: Genjimaru, what’s going on? I can’t follow this conversation.

Dii: Be quiet, Kunnekamun leader. Your arc has lasted far too long.

Hauenkua rushes forward to attack Kuuya. Hakuoro feels stirrings from his monster self.

(Hakuoro: My HARD GAY impulses…I must resist!)

Urotorii: Telepathy mode on! Target Hakuoro!

(Urotorii: Although I’ve never used or even mentioned this before, I actually have the ability to teleport people. I’ll get the harem out of here so that you can go HARD GAY without everyone watching.)

Urotorii everyone else away, leaving Hakuoro, Genjimaru and Kuuya behind.

(Hakuoro: Damn, Genjimaru’s still here, but I can’t fight it any more. I must let the HARD GAY out!)

Hakuoro starts transforming into his monster form.

(Dii: That’s it, Hakuoro, become a partner worthy of me.)

(Hauenkua: Not this again! I only just got this duplicate Avu Kamuu custom.)

Hakuoro attacks Hien and Hauenkua.

Genjimaru: Hien, this level of HARD GAY is too intense for you!

Hien: Grandfather, this is the only way I can surpass you!

Dii: Hauenkua, if you don’t start attacking, I won’t turn you into a woman!

Hien and Hauenkua attack monster Hakuoro.

Genjimaru: Dii, stop this.

Dii: A man who cannot stand this level of HARD GAY will have no place in the new world.

Monster Hakuoro kills both Hien and Hauenkua in a berserk rampage.

(Monster Hakuoro: When I go into HARD GAY mode, I just can’t help myself.)

Dii: Hakuoro, you are a worthy man of HARD GAY, but I cannot allow us to come into contact just yet. There are things we must discuss before we consummate our relationship- not least the harem you have created.

Kamyu is spotted hiding behind a pillar.

(Monster Hakuoro: Oh no, Kamyu saw me in HARD GAY mode!)

Dii: Ah, Mutsumi, queen of HARD YURI, you have come to aid me.

Dii triggers Kamyu’s transformation into Mutsumi.

Dii: Mutsumi, Hakuoro must be punished for betraying the path of HARD GAY.

Mutsumi: Yes.

Mutsumi begins attacking Hakuoro.

Dii: Right, Genjimaru, now that those two are occupied, I must once again ask you to rejoin me.

Genjimaru: Dii, I have many happy memories of my time with you, but I cannot condone your HARD GAY world. Instead, let’s just have one last crosswing of ‘swords’ and consider it even.

Dii: I do not want to lose you, Genjimaru, but I cannot say no to your offer.

Genjimaru rushes forward and stabs Dii, but in return he is turned into a splatter of blood and organs.

(Dii: My HARD GAY is now too intense for any mortal man to withstand.)

(Kuuya: Genjimaru! Without you, I cannot possibly lead a country!)

Dii: Mutsumi, let’s go. I’ve had my fill of HARD GAY for now.

Mutsumi: Kuuya, I cannot feel sympathy for any woman who would not fully embrace HARD YURI- but we’re running out of time, so I must leave now.

Dii and Mutsumi depart, leaving the Kunnekamun castle as flaming wreckage.

Dii: We are final bosses now, Mutsumi, and that means we must start thinking about changing the world through destruction and chaos.

Dii and Mutsumi fly away as Hakuoro, now in human form again, emerges from the flames with Kuuya in his arms.

(Hakuoro: I am not proud of turning HARD GAY, but at least now I have Kuuya for my harem.)

Will Hakuoro have time to enjoy his harem before Dii and the demands of HARD GAY resurface yet again? Find out next time.

Hakuoro here. I have tried my hardest to create a harem that could satisfy my every desire, but it seems it has not been enough. Deep inside me lurks a monster of HARD GAY, and whenever the situation gets too intense, that monster emerges. With this in mind, I am not sure how to proceed, but all I can do is take each day as it comes, and hope for the best…

Hauenkua awakens from the recurring nightmare of his encounter with Hakuoro. He sees Dii by his bed, and goes to him for comfort.

Hauenkua: Dii, it was awful! You have to comfort me and make me forget about that terrible HARD GAY encounter.

Dii:…

(Dii: Hauenkua, as one who wants to become a woman, you are not suitable for my HARD GAY attentions.)

In the Kunnekamun throne room, Hien reports to Kuuya.

(Kuuya: Hakuoro, could it be that your harem is stronger than mine?)

Genjimaru: Sire, we must reconsider our actions, or we will all end up as splatters of blood.

Hien: On the contrary, sire, we must continue the unification.

(Kuuya: Stop giving me conflicting opinions! How am I supposed to choose?)

Kuuya: Okay, I’ve come to a decision. My objective has always been peace, and so I believe we should continue the war.

Later, Genjimaru goes to see Dii.

Genjimaru: Dii, what is it you want from us? Why have you promised to turn Hauenkua into a woman?

Dii: Genjimaru, have you forgotten the fun we had in the old days? Of course, you were stronger and had more stamina then.

Genjimaru: You…so it was you I met at that HARD GAY tavern.

Dii: My goal is to create a world where we no longer have to be HARD GAY in secret, Genjimaru. Perhaps you should consider joining me.

Meanwhile, Eruruu once again remembers her contract with monster Hakuoro.

(Eruruu: All this time, HARD YURI was really what I wanted.)

Aruruu comforts her.

Meanwhile, Hakuoro and the other named characters are having a meeting.

Hakuoro: The situation isn’t good. Half of our generics are dead, and half the survivors incapacitated.

Oboro: Who cares about generics? We named characters can still fight.

As the meeting continues, Hakuoro is briefly caught up in a vision of his monster-self.

(Hakuoro: My HARD GAY side…)

Later, Hakuoro is with Eruruu. She makes him tea.

(Hakuoro: Did you see it- my shameful HARD GAY side?)

As Eruruu leaves, Hakuoro tries to go after her, but is transported into Flashback Mode. He sees the masked Iceman and an early furry, 3510.

Iceman: Could you get me a drink, please?

(Hakuoro: It’s just like me and Eruruu!)

A hologram of a scientist, Mizushima, appears.

Mizushima: Iceman, since I am not allowed to directly assist in the creation of the furry world, I must leave it to you. Start by giving this furry a name.

The hologram fades.

Iceman: I shall name you Mikoto, after a different furry creature from another world.

Hakuoro awakens from Flashback Mode.

Elsewhere, Genjimaru and Sakuya run from two Avu Kamuu. After telling Sakuya to hide, Genjimaru turns back and fights them.

(Genjimaru: Somehow no one else has ever discovered this, but I know the weak points of an Avu Kamuu.)

Genjimaru defeats the Avu Kamuu, whilst Kurou watches from a safe distance.

(Kurou: What a useful playable character and strong HARD GAY partner he would make. I must bring him back to the castle.)

Genjimaru and Sakuya are taken back to Hakuoro’s castle.

Genjimaru: Hakuoro-ou, I have come to add my services to the active party.

Hakuoro: I will accept Sakuya into my harem, but Genjimaru- you have betrayed your place in Kuuya’s harem, and that is something I cannot condone.

Genjimaru: But my stats are high- and my combo is maxed out!

Hakuoro: Oh, very well, then.

(Hakuoro: The old man will make a good front line attacker, reducing the danger to myself and my harem.)

That evening, Eruruu tends to Hakuoro’s wounds. He thinks back to all the times she has been with him.

(Hakuoro: Could it be that Eruruu has some importance to me beyond being just a tea girl?)

Hakuoro: Eruruu, will you stay by my side forever?

(Eruruu: Thanks to the contract, I cannot disagree, and yet HARD YURI is what I long for now.)

Eruruu: …Yes.

The next day, the named characters plan their strategy.

Benawi: There is only way we can hope for victory against Kunnekamun. I’m not entirely sure how this will help, but we must free Lord Waabe from his imprisonment.

Urotorii: You see, Kamyu, I told you our father would be alive.

Hakuoro: Right, Benawi, I’ll leave that to you whilst I stay here.

Whilst Benawi’s party departs, the weaker characters stay behind. Eruruu goes to visit Yuzuha.

Yuzuha: Eruruu, you seem troubled lately. If it’s about Hakuoro-sama, then I honestly don’t mind sharing him with you.

(Eruruu: Stop acting like first wife! I don’t want to be bound to Hakuoro anyway- I want HARD YURI.)

Eruruu goes back to her room. As she cries to herself, Urotorii enters.

Urotorii: Eruruu, I know that you’re worried about being bound to Hakuoro-san, so I must tell you this. No matter what you promised to him, it does not matter- HARD YURI can transcend that.

Eruruu cheers up at these words.

Later, Eruruu goes to see Hakuoro.

(Eruruu: It’s odd- now that I know that HARD YURI will always be there for me, I can once again feel comfortable with Hakuoro.)

Some time later, Benawi’s party returns with Waabe (rescued offscreen due to time constraints).

Waabe: I understand that you rescued me so that you could use my political clout to aid in the war against Kunnekamun, but actually I’ve decided to hand over leadership to Urotorii.

(Hakuoro: So that mission was pointless, then. It’s lucky we didn’t waste any actual screen time on it.)

(Urotorii: Excellent. This is one more step towards spreading the word about HARD YURI to a wider audience.)

Have our heroes magically gained the wherewithal to fight back against Kunnekamun? Will the Avu Kamuu now magically be vulnerable? Find out next time.

The Avu Kamuu relentlessly march on the Tusukuru capital. Regardless of whether or not they are seen attacking anyone, numerous generics are left in their wake. As they move forward, Kurou supervises a ballista attack, but even that is not enough, and he is knocked back.

(Benawi: Kurou! You may only be one step above a generic, but you must not die!)

Hauenkua: I was going to kill you all, but in light of your efforts, I think I’ll just kill you all!

As if to emphasise the seriousness of the situation, smoke spontaneously appears. Hauenkua continues his rampage.

Hien: Hau, we could finish the level much more quickly if you’d just head straight for Hakuoro.

Hauenkua: Contrary to popular belief, Hien, I am more than just a psychotic nun-wannabe. If I keep attacking the earth here in front of me, he’ll eventually come out.

As everyone plans the next phase of their retreat, Hakuoro approaches.

(Benawi: What’s he doing here? I thought the whole idea was for him to get away safely.)

(Hakuoro: I didn’t really want to put myself in danger, but on reflection my status as main character should keep me safe- and the alternative is to have my precious harem members lose their lives.)

Hakuoro rides out to confront Hauenkua.

Hauenkua: At last! Now I can kill you, become the main character, and get the character development I deserve!

Hakuoro: I’m sorry, but it doesn’t work that way.

Hakuoro rides away and Hauenkua follows. Karura and Touka step in to stop Hien following.

Touka: Sorry, but Hakuoro-dono doesn’t have the stats to take on two of you.

(Hakuoro: I was hoping a plan would present itself in the last minute or two, but I’ve got nothing.)

Hakuoro finds himself trapped in a dead end. All he can do is dodge Hauenkua’s attacks whilst two generic Avu Kamuu stand and watch.

(Hauenkua: Damn, why can’t I hit him? Is this power of a main character?)

Finally, Hauenkua gets the upper hand.

Hauenkua: Now let’s begin our bondage game!

As Hauenkua goes for Hakuoro, Aruruu and Mukkuru attack.

(Hakuoro: Yes, Aruruu’s high defence stat will keep me safe.)

Hakuoro: Aruruu, run away! Don’t worry about me.

Aruruu: No.

(Hakuoro: Reverse psychology works every time.)

Hauenkua goes after Aruruu and Mukkuru. Their speed enables them to dodge for a time, but in due course they get hit.

Hakuoro: Stop!!!! Aruruu!!!!

(Hauenkua: Hahahaha! Everyone must share the pain I feel for not being a woman!)

(Hakuoro: No, I cannot lose a harem member at this stage!)

Hakuoro screams over Aruruu’s bloodied and unconscious body. Eruruu runs in just as Hauenkua stamps on them.

(Eruruu: No…all my tea-making was for nothing…)

Even as Hauenkua laughs, however, a black aura encases the foot of his Avu Kamuu, and monster Hakuoro emerges to attack.

(Monster-Hakuoro: This is what you get for trying to kill the main character!)

Hauenkua: Okay, generics, you can stop standing around and attack now!

The generics attack and are crushed by monster Hakuoro. A flashback mode activates, showing us a lab where a scientist surveys a fossilised monster.

Scientist: Could this be it? The key to creating the furry world I have always dreamed of?

A second scientist enters.

Scientist #2: I’m sorry, but your plans are unacceptable.

Scientist #2 shoots #1, but the blood soaks into the monster, transferring the will to create a furry world.

Back in the present, monster Hakuoro advances on Hauenkua.

Hauenkua: Oh no, he’s walking towards me very slowly! What do I do?

Hauenkua starts to run away, but monster Hakuoro suddenly jumps on him.

(Monster-Hakuoro: If you really were a woman, things could have been different, but instead I’m giving in to the HARD GAY passions I shared with Niwe!)

Hauenkua is ejected from his Avu Kamuu. He runs away as monster Hakuoro rips it apart.

Hauenkua: Mother Mary, help me!

Monster Hakuoro turns to Aruruu and Eruruu. As Aruruu revives, Eruruu suddenly remembers a time when she found an injured Aruruu in the forest.

Eruruu: Aruruu! Who am I going to be HARD YURI with now?

Monster Hakuoro appears.

(Monster Hakuoro: Even though this is my HARD GAY mode, I shall prepare for the days when I will want a harem. Thanks to this situation, I can score two women at once.)

Monster Hakuoro: I will save her life, but in return, you must give your body and soul to me, and become my personal tea maid.

Eruruu: Yes, I’ll do it!

Back in the present…

(Eruruu: I had forgotten how much I sacrificed just for HARD YURI with Aruruu.)

Some time later, Hakuoro reawakens in his human form.

(Hakuoro: What happened? Did I give in to HARD GAY again?)

Eruruu enters, bringing tea.

(Eruruu: Bringing tea and loving Hakuoro is my duty, but I now remember that I was originally a follower of HARD YURI.)

Hakuoro: What happened with Kunnekamun?

Eruruu: They’ve conveniently retreated for now, so everyone is safe.

(Hakuoro: At least the harem did not suffer. But what will happen if I keep turning HARD GAY?)

Is Hakuoro doomed to revert to his HARD GAY self? Will Eruruu break free and return to HARD YURI? Find out next time.

The Avu Kamuu attack the country of Erumui. Bonahoi pleads for mercy.

Bonahoi: Please don’t kill me! I’m a named character!

Hauenkua: Hahahaha! I’m a psychotic nun! I’ll kill whoever I want!

Erumui falls to Hauenkua forces. Later, he reports to Kuuya.

Kuuya: Why did you do such a thing? You know how much I hate killing.

Hauenkua: But sire, the other day you told us to kill them all!

Kuuya: Yes, you’re right, I understand.

Hien: Sire, I hate to be the voice of common sense, but shouldn’t we do something constructive like unite all the conquered countries?

Hauenkua: Yes, we shall unite them under our rule! And our tribe will be dominant- just as I am in our little bondage games, Hien.

Genjimaru enters.

Kuuya: Ah good, Genjimaru, can you help me decide what to do?

Genjimaru: Yes, sire. I believe we should fortify our borders.

Kuuya: Since that’s the most recent opinion I’ve heard, that’s what we’ll do.

Hien: But sire…

Genjimaru: Silence, grandson! We must not confuse the emperor further.

(Genjimaru:…and I thought she was supposed to always wear her mask when giving an audience.)

Meanwhile, Hakuoro wanders around his castle, checking on his harem. Karura invites him to have a drink with her.

(Hakuoro: Sorry, Karura, but I have already maxed out my relationship score with you. I must devote myself to developing other relationships.)

A couple more countries attack Kunnekamun, who respond with deadly force Kuuya surveys the corpse-strewn battlefield after the fight.

Kuuya: This is hideous. War is such an awful thing…

Hakuoro confers with his named comrades.

Hakuoro: I think we all know by now that no war can be settled by battles between generics alone. We will have to attend to the Kunnekamun situation sooner or later.

After the meeting, Hakuoro goes out to see Kuuya.

Kuuya: I was busy on the battlefield all day, but I always have time to slip away and see you, Hakuoro.

(Hakuoro: To be expected- I am the main character.)

Hakuoro and Kuuya talk for a time.

(Hakuoro: I must use my superior verbal manoeuvring to bring Kuuya to my side.)

Hakuoro: Everyone needs someone to depend on, there’s no shame in that, Kuuya.

Kuuya: Yes, you must depend greatly on Eruruu.

(Hakuoro: That’s not what I meant!)

Hakuoro: Yes, Eruruu is important (for tea-making), but there is still room for other women in my life. Just as you have both Genjimaru and Sakuya.

(Hakuoro: Come on, take the hint…)

Kuuya: Oh yes, I do have them, don’t I? Thank you for reminding me of that.

(Hakuoro: Damn, she’s just too thick-headed.)

The next day, Kuuya is back at her palace whilst the battle rages on. Hien and Hauenkua come to see her.

Hien: Sire, when you said that we’d be fortifying our borders, it didn’t realise it meant just as much killing as expanding them. Let’s just take out our Avu Kamuu and finish this.

(Kuuya: Help, I can’t make decisions on my own!)

Kuuya: Where is Genjimaru?

Hauenkua: He isn’t here right now, sire. You should just give the order for us to unite all the lands under your rule.

(Hauenkua: Sire, let me go out onto the battlefield! Only there can I forget the pain of being born a man when all I wanted to do was become a nun!)

Kuuya: Wait a minute, I’m the emperor here! I won’t just do what everyone tells me to do! Therefore, I believe we should do just what you have suggested.

The Avu Kamuu resume their march across the land.

(Kuuya: I love killing! This is great!)

After a successful battle, Kuuya confers with her named subordinates.

Hauenkua: Sire, the time has come to move on. Let us attack the Onkamiyamukai.

Kuuya: Excellent idea. We’ll begin tomorrow.

Genjimaru: What about Hakuoro? We went to all the effort of travelling to his castle every night, and now you’re going to throw that away?

Kuuya: Genjimaru, Hakuoro will do anything to add women to his harem. No matter what I do, I can always regain his friendship.

The next day, a handful of Avu Kamuu march on the Onkamiyamukai. Waabe and his generic mages respond by summoning fingers of earth and a gravity attack.

Waabe: I may only be one named character against many, but nothing can possibly go wrong.

Dii enters and the spell is cancelled.

Waabe: Dii! Why are you doing this? What are your goals, exactly?

Dii:…

(Dii: Foolish old man. My one aim is to spread HARD GAY across the world.)

At Hakuoro’s castle, Benawi reports that the Onkamiyamukai have fallen.

(Benawi: Why am I the only one who ever knows what’s going on? Oh well, I suppose I should be used to it by now.)

Kamyu: Onee-chan, what if something has happened to our father?

Urotorii: Kamyu, it’s okay- as a named character I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Dorii and Guraa rush in to report.

Dorii: No one thought to mention this before they were on top of us, but Kunnekamun are attacking Tusukuru! Kurou and Touka have been forced to retreat.

(Oboro: Although we have had our differences, I must go and help my HARD GAY comrade.)

Oboro turns to leave, but Hakuoro stops him.

Hakuoro: Until the right point in the plot, the Avu Kamuu will be invincible. We must evacuate the capital.

Everyone is shocked.

Benawi: I agree, that is the best course of action.

Everyone immediately accepts the idea.

Hakuoro: Eruruu and I are weak, so we will retreat. Everyone else, buy time for us.

The harem and HARD GAY division position themselves to face the oncoming Avu Kamuu. In due couse, Hauenkua and the others approach.

Hauenkua: Hahaha! This will be fun!

Can anything stop the relentless march of the Avu Kamuu? Find out next time.

Hakuoro here. Thanks to my efforts in Na-tunk, the threat of either Derihourai or Suonkasu stealing Karura away from me has been eliminated. Although I have happily returned to my castle to enjoy the benefits of being emperor of such a varied harem, I know that I must shortly turn my attention to acquiring a new member- namely Kunnekamun emperor Kuuya…

One evening, Genjimaru’s granddaughter Sakuya infiltrates Hakuoro’s castle. As the generic guards chase after her, she runs into Hakuoro’s room.

(Hakuoro: How dare someone disturb me whilst I’m filling out my harem scrolls? Oh wait, it appears to be an unfamiliar woman- what an interesting development.)

Hakuoro deliberate misdirects the guards so that he can spend some time with Sakuya.

Sakuya: Hakuoro-sama? I’ve come to take you to see Kuuya-sama.

(Hakuoro: Excellent- she is a far more attractive choice than old Genjimaru.)

Hakuoro: Let’s go.

Eruruu spots Hakuoro and Sakuya sneaking out of the castle.

(Eruruu: So, not only has he built a harem, but he’s sneaking off with yet another woman! This is the last straw!)

Eruruu follows Hakuoro and Sakuya as they go to meet Kuuya.

Kuuya: Hakuoro, this is unacceptable! How dare you be late for our date?

(Hakuoro: She acts as if she were the master and I the harem member.)

Kuuya: Anyway, onto business. The time has come for me to add a member to your harem.

(Hakuoro: I have to admit, she is a fast worker.)

The eavesdropping Eruruu cannot help but exclaim out loud at this development. She is brought out into the open to meet with Kuuya.

Kuuya: Don’t worry, Eruruu, I’m not thinking of usurping your place in the harem. Instead, I will be sending Sakuya. She’s a hard worker, and skilled in bed.

(Hakuoro: This is all that I have asked for, and yet, it feels too easy…almost like cheating.)

Sakuya: Kuuya-sama, are you sure about this?

Kuuya: Sakuya, I have enjoyed having you as my HARD YURI love slave, but the time has come for you to experience new things.

(Hakuoro: I must think this over- accepting Sakuya as a harem member could lower my chances of Kuuya herself joining.)

Hakuoro: Perhaps Sakuya should stay with you for now.

Kuuya: What a good idea! It’s the opposite of what I just wanted, but I now feel it is the best course.

(Eruruu: What a relief.)

Kuuya: Anyway, I had better get back, wars to fight, people to kill, you know how it is.

The next day, Hakuoro has Benawi teach him about Kunnekamun and its neighbouring states.

(Hakuoro: Good old Benawi, he always knows these trivial little things.)

Benawi: Kunnekamun may seem like a weak country, but I’m given to understand they have many named characters. That will no doubt turn the tide in their favour.

Later, Hakuoro is distracted when he discovers that Kamyu has been sucking Aruruu’s blood in a HARD YURI bondage game.

(Hakuoro: I knew that there was HARD YURI going on in the background, but to flaunt it so openly?)

Urotorii: Aruruu, you must be more careful when carrying out HARD YURI.

Hakuoro: Everyone, we must find Kamyu immediately!

Oboro: Yuzuha, go back to your room. I don’t want you getting mixed up in HARD YURI.

(Yuzuha: Too late, brother.)

Everyone begins searching for Kamyu. For some reason, it takes until night-time for Hakuoro to find her.

Kamyu: Oji-sama, I’m sorry…it’s just that I’m always different, always the odd one out! I wanted to be HARD YURI with everyone else.

Hakuoro: It’s okay, Kamyu, I don’t mind…

(Hakuoro: Perhaps I truly cannot fight HARD YURI, but it doesn’t really matter, as long as the girls are there for me when I need them.)

Kamyu returns to Aruruu and Yuzuha for more HARD YURI.

Meanwhile, Kanhorudari and his forces are advancing on Kunnekamun.

Kanhorudari: Forward, generics! REAL MEN like me are duty bound to crush all this HARD GAY and HARD YURI nonsense!

Kanhorudari’s troops are soon confronted by giant Avu Kamuu mecha.

Kuuya: I love war! Kill them all!

Kanhorudari: Don’t worry, men, they’re just massive mecha! They can’t hurt unprotected Woptar cavalry like ourselves!

Led by Kuuya, Hien and Hauenkua, the Avu Kamuu forces begin slaughtering Kanhorudari’s men.

Hauenkua: You fool! We have more named characters than you do! Hahahaha!

Kanhorudari stands around and watches as his men are turned into a bloody rain.

Kanhorudari: Wait, you can’t kill me! I haven’t had enough screentime yet!

Kanhorudari charges in, and is sliced in half by Kuuya.

Kuuya: I hate war! Killing is horrible! No, hang on a moment, mercy is for the weak. Kill them all!

Hien: Uh, sir, didn’t we do that already?

Kuuya: Then let’s advance and kill some more!

Back in Tusukuru, Hakuoro hears about the defeat of Kanhorudari’s forces. Later that night, Sakuya takes him to see Kuuya again. She is standing by her Avu Kamuu.

(Hakuoro: What is that large mecha doing here? Is Kuuya into FMA cosplay?)

Kuuya: It’s been a long time, Hakuoro, almost two days, but I finally got the chance to travel halfway across the continent to see you for a few hours.

Hakuoro: I appreciate your efforts.

Kuuya: I’ve been busy, you know, slaughtering people, turning them into bloody masses of organs. It’s really quite fun, you know, once you get the hang of it.

(Hakuoro: I hate it when women talk about themselves so much.)

Hakuoro: That’s all very nice, but perhaps we should talk about something more interesting…like me, for example.

Kuuya: Did I just say war was fun? What I meant to say was that it’s a terrible thing. So many people dying at my hands, it’s just awful.

In due time, Kanhorudari’s unwilling ally Bonahoi comes to ask Tusukuru for help.

(Hakuoro: Does it look like I would possibly care about such a generic character? Mind you, I may as well send Urotorii- that will keep the HARD YURI faction quiet for a while.)

Urotorii somehow journeys to Kunnekamun with little effort, and meets up with Hauenkua.

Urotorii: Look, we’re all named characters here- can’t we make peace?

Hauenkua: Peace? As early as episode twenty? I don’t think so. Hahahaha! Hahahaha!

Hauenkua leaves, and goes to see Dii, who is staring at the two halves of Kanhorudari’s body.

Hauenkua: You do remember the deal, don’t you, Dii? I help you with your research, and you turn me into a woman at no extra charge!

Dii:…

(Dii: I must remain calm. I will get some dialogue soon.)

Back in Tusukuru, Eruruu approaches Hakuoro.

Eruruu: Do we really need to get involved in this war? Isn’t the harem big enough already?

(Hakuoro: I’m sorry, Eruruu, but I must do my utmost to earn both Kuuya and Sakuya.)

Can our hero realise his plans for harem expansion, or will the Avu Kamuu just turn everything into a bloody mess? Find out next time.

Hakuoro here. Although I pretended to be against the idea, I allowed matters to proceed in such a way that I ended up in Na-tunk on a well-deserved vacation with my harem. Unfortunately, we have had to ally ourselves with a group of freedom fighters led by Karura’s brother, but provided I keep myself well behind the front lines, there shouldn’t be any danger…

Derihourai’s forces attack some Na-tunk generics. The named characters help by demonstrating their respective combo attacks. As the enemy are driven back, Derihourai wants to chase after them, but Karura stops him.

Karura: Look, Derihourai, when are you going to accept that your stats are too low for foolish charges into the enemy ranks?

Hakuoro: I agree- if we chase after them, I could, er, I mean you could end up in danger.

That night, the named characters gather together to discuss their strategies.

Derihourai: I don’t see why we can’t just keep throwing generics at their generics.

Karura: I think you’re forgetting something. This arc needs to end promptly, and that means we named characters will have to act. In fact, I know of a convenient back route we can take to get straight to the boss castle.

Derihourai: How could a complete outsider like you know about that?

Karura: Oh, you know how it is, you pick up information here and there.

(Karura: This is easier than I thought- Deri has no idea that it’s me!)

Karura: I should also mention that we can only take a small party along- so we’ll just take a handful of generic cannon fodder with the named members.

Derihourai: It looks like a long shot, but that’s just the way I like it.

Katomau: Sire, as a named character, you should be more careful. Let our generic forces distract the bulk of the enemy for you.

(Hakuoro: What well trained generics- they even volunteer to sacrifice their lives.)

Later that evening, Derihourai and Hakuoro talk privately.

Derihourai: Hakuoro, I have a favour to ask of you. I’d like you to hand over Karura so that I can use her to start my own harem.

(Hakuoro: How presumptuous! Does he really think I’d put such work into building a relationship with Karura, and then hand her over to another man?)

Hakuoro: Derihourai, it isn’t good manners to demand that another man give up part of his harem. You must win over the woman with finesse.

(Hakuoro: I think it’s safe to say that he presents no threat to me.)

Derihourai: I understand, but Karura is important to me. Although she cannot possibly be the same person, she reminds me of my big sister, Karurauatsuurei. I swore I would not start a harem until I could find a woman that would satisfy me as much as my big sister did.

Later still, Hakuoro goes to see Karura.

(Hakuoro: Time to try my hand at some reverse psychology.)

Hakuoro: Karura, are you sure you would be happy to stay with my harem?

Karura: Master, I have everything I need with you.

(Karura:…not to mention HARD YURI with Urotorii and the others.)

As planned, Derihourai’s generics move out to distract Suonkasu’s army whilst the named characters sneak into the castle.

Katoumau: Everyone, I know your stats are lower than those of the average enemy generic, but we must hold out for as long as possible.

Suonkasu soldier: Get them! Make sure as few people as possible are left behind to guard the castle!

The generics slash at each other whilst Hakuoro’s party makes it to Suonkasu’s throne room. They stop at the sight of Suon’s special flowers, grown from dead bodies.

Karura: They say growing flowers like this gives them special properties.

Suonkasu sits lazily in his chair. Some generics run out to guard him.

Suonkasu: What do you think, Karura? With these flowers, I can enter a whole new state of perception.

Derihourai: Do you know this man?

Karura: Hmm, possibly.

Hakuoro: Derihourai, don’t strain your mental faculties! Just concentrate on the battle!

Derihourai: Good point, Hakuoro!

Derihourai rushes forward to attack Suonkasu, but the generics engage him. More generics appear out of nowhere to attack Hakuoro and the others. Suonkasu remains seated.

Suonkasu: In the game, I actually got up and attacked, but the anime has made my arc so short that I can’t even be bothered.

Hakuoro and the named characters attack the generics.

(Hakuoro: This Suonkasu, he seems to know Karura. What if he too is hoping to steal her for his harem?)

Karura: Telepathy mode on! Target Suonkasu.

(Karura: Sorry, Suonkasu, but since I cut off your ‘sword’, you aren’t of much use to me.)

(Suonkasu: I’m offering you special flowers and my undivided attention! What more could you want?)

Derihourai: What are you saying? I can’t understand telepathy mode!

Suonkasu: Oh do shut up, Deri. You were only a pawn to lure Karurautsuurei back to me.

Derihourai: Karurauatsuurei? Are you saying that Karura is actually my sister!?

Suonkasu: Karura, I am the best choice for you! Let us begin a new life sniffing the special flowers and adding bodies to the garden!

(Hakuoro: This is bad- what if he convinces her to stay with him? I’d better start fighting on the front lines for once.)

(Derihourai: I won’t let anyone else have Karura!)

(Urotorii: I must fight for the sake of my HARD GAY partner.)

Everyone attacks the generics with renewed vigour. Derihourai and Karura break through to Suonkasu.

Karura: Derihourai, I’ll let you have the killing blow- you need the EXP more than I do.

Karura knocks Suonkasu down, and Derihourai finishes him off.

Suonkasu: Why am I dying so easily…at the hands of this weakling?

Suonkasu’s corpse falls into his beloved flowers.

Derihourai: I think I’ve just figured it out- you’re my big sister, right?

Karura: I’m sorry, but I think you’ve confused me for some other Karura. Now run along boy, and go play with your generics.

Derihourai: Okay- but you’ll be waiting for me when I get back, right?

Karura: Oh, of course.

Derihourai runs off.

(Karura: Still so gullible. How can I be related to an idiot like him?)

Karura: Okay everyone, let’s go.

Eruruu: Wait, but I thought you promised…

(Eruruu: I thought for a moment there I’d finally got rid of a rival.)

Urotorii: Eruruu, if Karura doesn’t come back with us, we can’t enjoy the full potential of HARD YURI.

(Hakuoro: My fears turned out to be unfounded after all.)

Whilst Derihourai proclaims that Na-tunk is to replaced with his nation of Karurauatsuurei, Hakuoro and the others slip away and return home.

Some time later, Derihourai brings a delegation to visit Tusukuru.

(Derihourai: I must let the Tusukuru emperor know that a new harem master is in town.)

Derihourai is surprised to find that Hakuoro is the emperor.

Derihourai: You were the main character all along? I hadn’t guessed.

Hakuoro: I don’t believe we’ve met before.

Derihourai: Oh, you’re right- my mistake.

(Hakuoro: He truly is no threat to me.)

Later, Karura watches as Derihourai’s delegation leaves. Hakuoro approaches.

(Hakuoro: A little more reverse psychology could be needed here, just in case she has second thoughts.)

Hakuoro: You know, you can go with him if you want.

Karura: I don’t think there’s any need for that.

(Hakuoro: Excellent. It may have been a little risky, but I’ve pulled off a significant relationship boost with Karura.)

With his harem vacation over and Suonkasu defeated, what lies in wait for our hero? Find out next time.

(Suonkasu: These flowers let me peer into other worlds and understand many things, but they can only come a poor second to the one I want.)

At Hakuoro’s castle, the playable characters are enjoying a meal when a generic soldier comes in. He hands a scroll to Benawi.

Hakuoro: What is it, Benawi? Have any new women been found?

Benawi: No sir, but it seems that a man named Derihourai is leading a rebellion in Na-tunk.

(Hakuoro: Men? What use have I for men? I am over that little HARD GAY hiccup now.)

That night, Karura comes to Hakuoro, wearing a formal dress.

(Hakuoro: What luck! Tonight will be exciting.)

Karura: Hakuoro-sama, I have a favour to ask. It involves Na-tunk.

(Hakuoro: Already she’s playing right into my hands.)

Hakuoro: I hope that you realise I cannot put my entire harem at risk just to satisfy one member.

Karura: Oh, it wouldn’t be for nothing. In turn, I will give you everything of myself- right down to my soul.

(Hakuoro: Just what I wanted to hear.)

Hakuoro: Very well, then, I accept your terms.

Karura: Then let’s complete the contract.

Karura undresses and pushes Hakuoro onto the floor, but before things can proceed, Eruruu walks in, sees them, and backs out again.

(Hakuoro: Damn! I’m sure this was an ero-scene in the game, but now the mood is gone- and I’ve lost serious relationship points with Eruruu.)

The next day, Eruruu makes a point of ignoring Hakuoro.

(Eruruu: This will teach him to take me for granted.)

(Hakuoro: What am I going to do now? I don’t know how to make tea!)

Hakuoro confides in Urotorii.

Hakuoro: I really don’t know what I’ve done. I mean, she knows I have other women in the harem…

Kurou enters and reports that the situation in Na-tunk is not going well. Karura overhears the report.

Hakuoro: Karura, I hope you understand, but thanks to the Eruruu situation, I have bigger things to think of.

That night, Karura wraps Hakuoro up in his sleeping roll and abducts him. As they prepare to leave for Na-tunk, they are confronted by Urotorii.

Urotorii: In the name of the HARD YURI sisterhood, I should go with you.

In short order, all the female cast members are gathered for the trip to Na-tunk.

(Hakuoro: I shall pretend to be unhappy about this, but in reality a vacation with the harem is just what I wanted. I’m sure Benawi can handle everything here.)

(Eruruu: I still haven’t forgiven either Hakuoro or Karura, but I cannot let them go off without me.)

The next day, Munto and Oboro are horrified to find their charges gone. They comically run up and down the corridor.

Munto: HIME-SAMA!!!!!!

(Munto: At last, I get a line of dialogue!)

Oboro: YUZUHA!!!!

They try to talk to Benawi about their problems, but he isn’t listening.

(Benawi: Great, just great- I’m in charge again. When do I get a day off?)

(Kurou: Looks like he’ll be too tense for any HARD GAY tonight.)

Meanwhile, a Woptar-drawn carriage takes Hakuoro’s party to Na-tunk. Urotorii decides to mediate between Karura and Eruruu.

Urotorii: I want both of you to remember that Hakuoro is not everything. We have our loyalty to the HARD YURI sisterhood to consider as well.

Eruruu goes to talk to Hakuoro.

(Eruruu: I was wrong to let my feelings almost sabotage my place in the harem and my relationship with my HARD YURI mentors.)

(Hakuoro: I knew that Eruruu could not stay away from me for long.)

As they proceed, the group realises that they have been surrounded. The carriage stops and the two strongest attackers, Karura and Touka, take the forward position. Derihourai, Katomau, and generic come forward.

Derihourai: I am Derihourai, leader of the Karurauatsuurei.

(Hakuoro: He looks like Karura, and he mentioned the name Karurauatsuurei… I wonder if there is a connection.)

Hakuoro: Despite our detailed character designs, we are just a band of random travellers passing through who would like to help you.

Derihourai: Since I am the proud and stubborn type, I have no intention of accepting your help.

That night, everyone camps by the side of a cliff. Karura climbs the cliff to have some time to herself, but Hakuoro follows.

Hakuoro: By piecing together the subtle clues, I have realised that Derihourai is your little brother. I guess that means we’ll be staying to help him.

Katomau approaches.

Katomau: Karurauatsuurei, I knew it was you!

Karura: I gave up that name long ago and choose the untraceable alias Karura. Please don’t tell my brother who I am.

As Katomau nods, Hakuoro notices a blaze in the distance. One of Derihourai’s men, Tamua, has sold him out, and now he is in trouble.

Derihourai: I hope someone comes to rescue me soon! My stats aren’t high, and I only have generics to protect me!

As if on cue, Urotorii, Touka and Karura arrive and use their special attacks to disperse the enemy. Hakuoro shows up once the area is safe.

Having been double-crossed by the enemy, an injured Tamua is left behind to die.

Derihourai: A proud man like me could never care that such a traitor had died!

Karura ‘accidentally’ punches Derihourai.

Karura: Stop acting so high and mighty. You are an average character at best.

Derihourai: I have no idea who you are, but how dare you insult me?

(Karura: I suppose I might as well use my previously unseen wind attack).

Karura uses a wind punch to knock Derihourai flying.

Karura: You see how low your stats are compared to mine? You won’t get anywhere without our help.

(Hakuoro: This man is too much of a jerk to be any threat to me. I may as well play along with what Karura wants, and score some valuable relationship points.)

Meanwhile, in his castle, Suonkasu is high on flowers again.

Suonkasu: Karura, you have returned to me- now I can start work on my own harem!

Is Hakuoro in danger of losing Karura to either Suonkasu or Derihourai? Can our hero hold onto his harem in this strange land? Find out next time.