The four men chase after Balsa and Chagum.

Balsa: Chagum, you must get off the battlefield- you’re only Level Zero, and the game will end if you get killed!

Chagum uses Flee, whilst Balsa switches to attack mode.

Balsa: Why haven’t you given the prince Blow Dart yet? Or is it that you would rather have Sword and Spear with me?

Balsa engages the four men, whilst Chagum watches from behind a tree.

Balsa: Chagum, you’re still on the battle map! I thought I told you to flee!

As she battles, the fastenings securing the head of Balsa’s spear are cut off, and the blade flies out of the shaft.

(Balsa: Is this the end of Spear for me? I’ll have to switch to Staff for now.)

Balsa uses Flee, whilst one of the men captures Chagum.

Man: Sorry, kid, but when you’re Level Zero, it’s your fate to get kidnapped.

He takes Chagum back to his comrades.

Man: That main character was impressive- I’d settle for a taste of her Spear any time.

Jin: Do not get distracted- group HARD GAY has always been our way, and we must not let a mere woman affect us now.

Back in town, Tohya and Saya discuss Balsa.

Tohya: It’s going to be hard if Balsa’s on her own with that level zero character. Let’s see if we can find Tanda and recruit him to the active party.

Saya: We’re NPCs, so this is all we can do.

Meanwhile, Jin prepares to take Chagum back to the palace.

Jin: Poor boy, is intense HARD GAY with his father really the only answer? Although I may have seemed one-dimensional and evil at first, I am really a sympathetic character, and I will even have a Flashback Mode to prove it.

Jin remembers a time when he was a boy and Chagum gave him some sweets.

Jin: I have admired him ever since that day- perhaps it is better that he dies through intense HARD GAY with me. Forgive me, Chagum, I wanted to be gentle with you, but this is the only way we can have HARD GAY!

Jin prepares to give Chagum Sword, but Balsa appears to stop him.

Balsa: If you want to satisfy your desires, then at least have BI with me!

Balsa defeats Jin.

(Balsa: Don’t worry, Chagum- I will make sure that you are kept safe from HARD GAY and remain on the path of BI.)

Balsa and Chagum continue through the forest, but eventually Balsa collapses.

Balsa: How embarrassing…my HP is low and my stamina bar has run out already. All I can do is prevent game over by making sure you are safe.

Chagum: What are you saying? You can’t die now- it’s only episode three!

Balsa: There is a way for me to survive, but it means I will have to leave you alone in the active party. Follow the onscreen map until you reach the hidden location Tanda’s House; only he has the healing items I need.

Chagum sets off, and soon reaches the rocks he must climb.

(Chagum: I miss the days when you could just press X and automatically climb up sheer rock faces. Oh well, here goes.)

Chagum reaches the top of the rocks, but cannot see where to go next.

(Chagum: Damn, this is too difficult- and who set the weather to ‘storm’ anyway?)

Fortunately, a convenient wolf shows him where to go next. He continues on his way, only to end up falling into a marsh and being rescued by Tanda.

Chagum: Are you Tanda?

Tanda: That’s me. It’s quite convenient that you found me, actually- I only just got back here from town in order to pick up some leaves. It’s as if the plot arranged for me to be in the right place at the right time.

Chagum: You have to help me! Balsa’s HP is low!

Meanwhile, Balsa lies in the forest whilst two men appear and have Spear with each other until one is defeated.

(Balsa: I wish I could have some Spear right now.)

As her stamina bar empties to zero, Tanda arrives.

To be continued…

Balsa and Chagum run away from the burning place.

Balsa: Chagum, your new life begins here. It will be difficult, as you are only Level Zero at the moment, but stay in the back row at all times and I will protect you.

They continue on their way, but Chagum’s stamina bar soon drains.

Balsa: Here, climb on my back and you can have BI while we walk.

Chagum: I…er…I still don’t really know what BI is.

Balsa: You don’t? Commoner children are taught about it from an early age, since there isn’t much else in the way of entertainment. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about- it’s just a natural part of life. Now climb up and we’ll begin.

Chagum climbs up onto Balsa’s back, and they continue on their way. Meanwhile, Shuga, a man with long silver hair goes to see the Grand Patriarch, a man of who surely won his status through his impressive beard.

Shuga: Sir, as one of the OP characters, Prince Chagum must surely be important to us- and yet now he may well have perished!

Patriarch: Hmm, so you wish to discuss plot matters with my beard and I? Very well, I shall empty the room of generics.

At his command, all the generics in the room put cloths over their faces.

Patriarch: There, now we are alone and can speak freely.

(Shuga: Senile old fool- all they did was hide their faces. Oh well.)

Shuga: Sir, foolish as this will probably be, I must hope that my good looks will protect me as I confront you about my fears that the Emperor ordered the death of the Prince after you spoke to him.

Patriarch: The boy had no HARD GAY inclinations! Such a thing cannot be allowed in the royal family. Anyway, what I did, I did for the sake of the plot- and surely you must realise that as an OP character with Destined Powers, Chagum cannot be dead at such an early stage of the series.

Shuga: Ah, that does make sense.

Patriarch: Shuga, you have serviced me well in our HARD GAY encounters over the years, and so I must warn you- tread carefully before you choose to get too involved in the plot. There are dark forces in this world, such as BI- and even STRAIGHT.

Shuga: I am too good looking and deserving of screen time to turn away now.

(Patriarch: Hmm, it looks like I must work with him if I am to get screen time.)

Patriarch: Very well, then- come with me for an exposition scene.

The Patriarch walks across the room and starts having BOOK.

Patriarch: It seems that Prince Chagum has been possessed by a water demon, and thus the only way to defeat him is for the Emperor to equip Sword of Seishin and destroy him with intense HARD GAY.

Shuga: That’s hideous! No father should use HARD GAY to kill his own child.

The next day, Balsa and Chagum reach the home of an ally, Tohya.

Balsa: Since you are NPCs, please let us use this house freely. Tohya, could you take this money and nip down to the item shop to fill up my inventory? I need Oil Sheets x10, Bearskin x1, Dried Meat and Rice Paste, Clothes and HORSE.

Tohya: You like HORSE?

Balsa: What traveller doesn’t? Be sure to get me one right away.

Tohya goes out to fulfil her request.

Balsa: Chagum, do you hurt after the BI? Here, put this lotion on to ease the pain- I trust you can do that yourself.

Chagum: I’m not completely helpless, you know.

Balsa: Okay, okay- now get some rest. We have many episodes of strife ahead of us.

Whilst Chagum sleeps, Balsa tries to fix her spear.

Balsa: I should have gone to get Spear as soon as the series began- now who knows when I’ll get the chance?

The sleeping Chagum starts glowing blue.

(Balsa: Is this a HARD GAY aura?)

Balsa wakes Chagum up.

Chagum: Did it happen again? Every so often, I get these strange urges.

Tohya and his friend return.

Tohya: Sorry, I got everything except the HORSE- and I ran into a weird guy in town.

(Balsa: First no Spear and now this?)

Balsa: All right, we’ll go without HORSE for now. It’s getting towards the end of the episode anyway, so we should move out. You’d better leave your house too- it may sound unfair, but it’s better than endangering the main character.

Balsa and Chagum continue on their way.

(Balsa: Damn, I could really use some HORSE right now.)

Balsa looks back and sees four men waiting to come after them.

Balsa: Chagum, enter Flee Mode now!

Men: Hat Throw!

The four men toss their hats in the air and chase after Balsa and Chagum.

To be continued…

Balsa: It’s been two years… since I last had BI. I’m getting desperate.

Balsa walks down to a settlement below. A man talks to her.

Man: Female warriors are rare- am I right in thinking that you are a main character of some sort?

Balsa: That’s right. I’m just here to get my Spear serviced, if you know what I mean.

Man: A woman having Spear? Well, I guess they do say you can get anything around here if you have the money.

Balsa: If you have money, you can get Spear anywhere- then again, if you don’t, you just learn to make do with Hyper Self Pleasure. That has its own merits.

Man: Hmm, that’s an interesting perspective for one so young.

Balsa: Actually, I’m almost thirty. It’s just that I owe my good looks to a unique formula of SnM brand anti-aging cream, available for purchase during the commercial break.

As Balsa walks on, the man points out the Imperial family passing by. All the generics nearby bow.

Balsa: I don’t see why I should bow- I’m the main character.

As the Imperial carriage crosses a nearby bridge, the ox pulling it suddenly gets worked up into a frenzy. The Imperial attendants are forced to have dangerous OX as the carriage tips over and the prince falls out.

(Balsa: I guess it’s up to the main character to sort this mess out.)

Using her spear and a length of rope as a stay line, Balsa jumps into the rushing water. She swims after the prince as the current drags him along.

(Balsa: Thank god the plot is on my side, or the rocks would have hurt me and my rope would be all tangled up by now.)

As Balsa rescues the prince, a huge wave carries the ox and carriage towards her.

(Balsa: Now is most definitely not the time for OX! The plot is going to have to come up with something good to save me now!)

Thankfully, even though Balsa and the prince are submerged, a magical shield creates a protective air bubble.

(Balsa: Not exactly subtle, but at least it was convenient.)

(Ox: Why does no one care about me? I’m about to be washed away to my doom.)

Balsa carries the prince ashore, but goes on her way when his attendants crowd around. That evening, she orders a meal in town.

Balsa: Mmm, nothing like a tasty pork cutlet bowl, available from all good SnM brand stockists.

Unfortunately, her meal is interrupted when she notices some men with swords asking questions.

(Balsa: I’m not in the mood for generic Sword right now- time to go.)

Balsa makes her way down the back alleys, only to get cornered by the generics.

Generic: Excuse me, but we’re looking for the main character. Do you happen to know who he is?

Balsa: Sorry, no idea.

Generic: Is that so? In that case, let’s get straight onto the Sword!

The generics try to give Balsa Sword, but she counters them with Spear. Two more generics go to draw their Swords.

Balsa: Don’t bother. Impossible as it may seem, I can kill you twice before you even draw your Sword.

Generic Leader: Wait a moment- we don’t even want to die once! We just needed to check that you were the main character by checking your Spear skills. Please come with us to the next location- Imperial Palace.

Balsa: Damn, I really wanted to get my Spear serviced first. Oh well, needs must when the plot drives.

Balsa is taken to the palace, where she is allowed to bathe and given dinner.

Attendant: The Second Empress has requested that you spend the night here, if you know what I mean. We’ve even prepared a room with a big bed for you.

Balsa is taken to her bedroom.

Balsa: This futon is pretty big- I wonder if they want me to participate in some kind of group BI. If that’s the case, I may as well try to enjoy myself.

After a little while, the Second Empress and the Prince enter.

Balsa: Please come in- I’ve been wondering when the BI would start.

Second Empress: I know you must be thinking it is a little late for BI, but I have heard many tales of your prowess with Spear.

Balsa: Those tales may have been exaggerated- all I do is have Spear for money.

Second Empress: Hmm, it sounds like a risky line of work…but nonetheless, I have a request to make? Could you take my son and show him the ways of BI?

Balsa: BI?

Second Empress: It may seem like an odd thing to ask, but his father has pronounced him unfit for HARD GAY, and has even tried to kill him. BI is the only road left to him now.

Balsa: His father wants to kill him because he can’t have HARD GAY?

Second Empress: If word of it were to spread, the Emperor’s own HARD GAY would be questioned.

The Prince, Chagum, wakes up.

Second Empress: Listen well, Chagum- the ways of HARD GAY are closed to you now. You must go with this woman and learn BI.

Balsa: This is unfair- as a main character I must accede to your request in order to further the plot, even though it means I must have BI with an underage boy.

Second Empress: Then let my men and I service you in payment.

Balsa: You have too few men at your disposal, and all of them generic. Nonetheless, I shall accept this job, for I am the main character. Come on boy, there is no time to spare- your BI life begins here.

Balsa and Chagum run away down a conveniently located escape tunnel.

To be continued…