Azure Flame Reloaded

Romeo indulges in a budget-saving Flashback Mode about Petruchio.

(Romeo: Petruchio, you were such a well developed character who was integral to the plot of the series. We have suffered a severe blow thanks to your loss.)

Giovanni: Okay, Petruchio’s dead- now let’s get on with the story.

Without Petruchio, Romeo is forced to turn to Hyper Self Pleasure in the mines, but the intensity of it soon injures his hands. Continue Reading »

Juliet, Francisco, Curio and Antonio prepare to go to William’s mother’s house.

Francisco: This journey will help to waste a few more episodes.

On the way to his new appointment as a mine overseer, Romeo recalls his last conversation with his father.

Montague: How could you let that Capulet grape sympathiser go?

Romeo: I know you hate the idea of STRAIGHT, but I love her.

Montague: What a foolish notion! Maybe when your lover is dead and every last grape is squashed, you’ll realise that HARD GAY is the only true choice!

Romeo: It’s too late, Father- I will never have HARD GAY with you again! Continue Reading »

Generics stand motionless as Juliet is brought back to Neo Verona in custody.

(Generics: This is our only chance for screen time!)

In the shadows, Curio and Francisco watch.

Francisco: Curio, this is our chance to do something relevant to the plot. We must not mess it up.

Curio: Do you really think I would sabotage a chance for screen time?

Juliet is brought before Montague.

Continue Reading »

Romeo and Juliet encounter an abandoned village.

Juliet: Looks like this village hasn’t been populated with NPCs yet- we should rest and hope that there are no events to trigger.

Romeo and Juliet enter a house.

Romeo: I’m sorry it’s so sparse in here- the interior designers haven’t even finished this place.

Juliet: I don’t mind; it has a bed for STRAIGHT- what more do we need?

They prepare the bed, and have STRAIGHT. Continue Reading »

Romeo and Juliet fly over the city, having HORSE.

Romeo: We must fly far away, to a place where HORSE and STRAIGHT are acceptable.

Juliet: Who needs HORSE when we have STRAIGHT?

Romeo: Good point- ever since I met you, I have felt less and less interested in HORSE. Continue Reading »

Juliet and Antonio enter the Sewer map and meet up with Tybalt.

Tybalt: Antonio, I must replace you in the active party and lead Juliet to safety before she gets into battle with any enemies capable of draining all her HP in one hit.

Juliet: But everyone else up there is fighting- and the opponents are only level three!

Tybalt: Fine, go back up there and die- that way I can become the main character.

Antonio: You’d better go, Juliet- look, even I can push you over.

Antonio lightly pushes Juliet, scoring a critical hit. Tybalt takes her away for some HORSE. Continue Reading »

Romeo angsts at home.

(Romeo: My name is in the series title, but this other guy has every advantage over me! What if they ask me to step down as a main character?)

Meanwhile, Juliet is trying to hack off her hair with a sword.

Cordelia: Juliet, what are you doing? Can’t you use scissors like everyone else? Continue Reading »

Romeo and Juliet conclude their STRAIGHT.

Romeo: Impractical as it would be, I don’t want to ever let you go again.

Juliet: This love can never be…HORSE would always come between us.

Romeo: We must at least give it a try, or calling this show Romeo X Juliet becomes pointless.

The next day, Juliet-Odin and Antonio practise swordplay. By giving it her all, Juliet is just able to defeat Level Two Antonio. Continue Reading »

Guest character Tybalt joins the party.

Tybalt: Fear me, for not only am I bishie and high level, but I have a long cloak and two swords.

Tybalt easily defeats the generic enemies in one hit.

Curio: Damn you- that was my EXP!

Tybalt: I must leave now, for I am so good looking that women would swoon if I remained on screen any longer. Farewell, Juliet.

Tybalt calls his HORSE and flies away.

(Juliet: Such an impressive HORSE!) Continue Reading »

Dressed as the Red Whirlwind, the doctor launches himself into the waiting soldiers.

Cerimon: Excellent- you’ve arrived just in time for a spot of Mace and Flaming Arrow!

Generics: Red Whirlwind- Pleasure the soldiers so that they won’t expect bondage from us!

Doctor: Let these people go- I shall be your partner tonight!

Cerimon: How arrogant of you to assume that you can satisfy us all! Continue Reading »