“Alice, you must stop thinking about BI!”

“The time has come to settle down and prepare for a life of STRAIGHT.”

“Won’t that upset the status quo?”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure everything will be back to normal by the end of the arc.”

“Hurry up, Randel- there are people queuing up for BI!”

“A real potato- I’ve never seen one before! And you say these will be used to make Walker’s Crisps?”

“Randel, what are you doing to me?”

“Wait your turn for BI like the rest of us!”

“You know we have the stamina to service all of you.”

“It’s not enough for us anymore!”

“You have names! We’re just generics!”

“Well then, why don’t you complain to the writers?”

“We’d better not- it’ll probably turn out like that time when we were all conned into buying identical flat caps.”

“Didn’t we have the budget to animate a mob scene?”

“All we can do is give BI!”

“Well, at least you’re skilled.”

“Yes, I’ve peeled the clothing off many women.”

“Screen time for me, screen time for me!”

“I’m surrounded by minor characters.”

“HARD GAY, or STRAIGHT?”

“They say she’s BI!”

“They get far more screen time than I do!”

“I ordered it from Pizza Hut!”

“Stop butting in on our screen time, you ugly old man!”

“Let’s forget about his generic appearance by gazing at my handsome face!”

“He’s bound to appear on Dragons’ Den sooner or later!”

“I know you want to hook up to me for screen time, but I feel it my duty to warn you that the series is almost over- and that my importance will go with it.”

“Am I right in thinking there might be a spin-off show in the works?”

“Yes- like the new Indiana Jones movie, it’s been in production for ages.”

“How can you still have such enthusiasm as the main character, knowing that your series will end and you will be forgotten?”

“We have to do the best with the screen time that we have, you know.”

“We will fight together for a second season!”

“At this rate we’ll be forgotten!”

“Don’t worry- he’s as unimportant as we are, if not more so.”

“Can you believe that? It’s hardly fit to be served alongside delicacies such as ox tongue, bulls’ eyes, pigs’ trotters and soup made from bird spit!”

“What are we going to do? We’ll all turn into squirrels!”

“…and you’d better believe it, because I was an official taste tester for Masterchef!”

“Don’t you remember the five second rule?”

“I have realised that my destiny is to start my own show- perhaps some sort of cooking-related series!”

“I must find out about the kind of Liangs you have seen in the army.”

“Well, that’s everyone serviced for tonight.”

“Look at that guy- he was definitely happy with our BI.”

“Mum, it hurts to do Hyper Self Pleasure!”

“That isn’t right- no kid should have to go without the joy of Hyper Self Pleasure.”

“Yay, now I have special HSP gloves!”

“Uh, don’t forget about us.”

“Yay! Warm hands and Hyper Self Pleasure for all!”

“You should prioritise- you’re a main character and they’re just generic kids we’ll never see again.”

“Of course, that’s not to say Hyper Self Pleasure isn’t important.”

“And doing it in the cold is never a good idea.”

“But kids don’t need it as much as we adults do.”

“All this talk of Hyper Self Pleasure has made me desperate for some.”

“Come on, Liang!”

“Wait a minute- are those guys having a Pleasure meeting?”

“I need men!”

“Pleasure for all!”

“Documents of legendary HARD GAY techniques!”

“Even so, looking at these images is not enough for me!”

“I need to actually experience the Pleasure documented therein!”

“And that’s where you all come in- in every sense of the word!”

“I won’t lie to you- these extremes of Pleasure aren’t even legal!”

“But I won’t back away from trying them!”

“Too right!”

(“I’m getting a nosebleed just from thinking about this!”)

I’m all for dancing…

…however…

…it must be said that good choreography is everything.

“Now to relax with a spot of DOG.”

“Even with DOG, foreplay is everything.”

“Now step up the tempo!”

“Seduce the dog with feminine wiles!”

“…and finish!”

“There’s still a stigma attached to the whole process of DOG.”

“I swear never to have DOG again!”

“What’s going on in here!?”

“Oh god- busted!”

“It’s not what you think- I most definitely wasn’t in here having secret DOG!”

“It’s okay- I’m not prejudiced against DOG.”

“Okay, that’s enough research into DOG- next I need to probe into the world of HARD GAY.”

“Oreld, you’re a man who’s familiar with the ways of Pleasure.”

“Could you teach me some methods of Hyper Self Pleasure?”

“Forget that- I’ll show you how to get a partner.”

“Randel, we should ‘energise’ ourselves with a healthy round of Pleasure.”

“Perfect!”

“Uh, I’m not sure I follow what’s going on here.”

“We’re talking about a HARD GAY brothel, of course!”

“If you go there, I can’t join in!”

“It’s just getting out of hand!”

“Dream on- you’re not my type.”

“At least act like you’re interested!”

“Oh well, maybe I can find out more about Pleasure from Machs.”

“After all, he truly is the Hyper Self Pleasure Man!”

“No one is as skilled at Hyper Self Pleasure as Machs!”

“See, he’s even doing it here!”

“…and now he’s gone off for some sausage!”

Clearly this is a typo and he meant to say “There were people that I couldn’t have, as well.”

Similarly, this must be “How many people do you have to have…”

“Everyone make way for me, a minor character!”

“They said my Claymore wasn’t big enough.”

“Nonetheless, I was able to earn this ‘two swords’ badge of HARD GAY.”

“Our Liangs penetrate the enemy with the skill and keenness of swords!”

“Of course, it’s taken six months of intense HARD GAY to reach this level!”

“Did you feel Pleasure merely from my presence?”

“I suppose you don’t get much in the normal run of things, do you?”

“Why, I have that many lovers in an afternoon!”

“Come back- I need screen time!”

“Stay out of this- you’re even more minor than I am!”

“Damn you! I will have a starring role one day!”

“Bullet time!”

“Damn, now we’ve got a minor character uprising on our hands!”

“We’re named characters- we can take them!”

“Actually, let’s use the escape command to avoid game over!”

“Wait- Randel selected Defend instead of Escape!”

“Damn- he’s too good at Pleasure to be risking himself in this way! I’ll have to fight after all!”

“Somehow it’s turned into a rough HARD GAY session!”

“Machs, for the sake of HARD GAY, you must join in!”

“I will!”

“HARD GAY isn’t for you.”

“How dare you have HARD GAY without us?”

“Now you’re in for it- hold them down!”

“As punishment, you shall all be taken roughly from behind!”

“You know, those guys were much better at Rifle than they had any right to be!”

“We might be able to have Rifle like that from time to time…”

“…but we’d never be able to keep it up every day.”

“You know, I really have a craving for some Rifle about now.”

“If we upgrade the models, it would be even more Pleasurable than usual!”

“Are you so into Rifle because that woman broke your Swords?”

“…who would even guess she had the stamina for it?”

(“HARD GAY isn’t relaxing Randel at all- he needs something else!”)

(“I must introduce him to BI!”)

“You know, I never realised that Oreld wanted HARD GAY and even BI with so many people.”

“I just think about satisfying my own needs, and never notice that people might want other partners.”

“I have lacklustre HARD GAY because I don’t think about my partner.”

“By the way, you realise this is a secret, right?”

“Part of being in the army is being able to study Pleasure techniques.”

“Even if we focus on ourselves, we’ll still get all the practise we need to become good.”

“If you figure out the kind of Pleasure you like to give and receive, it’ll all work out.”

“Hey, Oreld…”

“Excuse me a moment, I’m just seeing off my lovers.”

“Hey, sorry about that whole argument earlier.”

“It’s just that to me, every lover is important- you can’t just treat the ones you take to bed as unimportant because others got away.”

“I know, but I need as many lovers as possible- everyone in the world, in fact!”

“That’s an impressive goal.”

“But I’m afraid you’re going to have to learn how to share.”

“Well, that’s Randel dealt with…but now it seems we’re gearing up for a storyline about Alice.”

“If he wants so many lovers, then let’s see him work his way through this stack of personal ads!”

How’s that for a cliff-hanger?

“Hans, when give the signal, you must give me HARD GAY.”

I’ve missed “damn you!”.

“Even if you have to fake it, I want HARD GAY!”

Commence Flashback Mode.

“Wow, that was intense HARD GAY.”

“…but I’m really attracted to you.”

“Get that suit off so we can all get down and dirty together!”

“Don’t rush the guy- he’s a newcomer to HARD GAY.”

“This will be his first time.”

“We want to introduce you to group HARD GAY!”

“Aagh…looks like I ate a bit too much cherry pie…”

“So did we…why did it have to be so damn tasty?”

“Snap out of Flashback Mode at once!”

“Like I said, she’s a main character and thus immune to KO.”

“We should focus on our assignment- starting with some HARD GAY to get us psyched up.”

“I like the way you think, Machs!”

“Take this, generics!”

“Her Sword is like that of a man!”

“They say that this Sword is able to match the power of HORSE!”

“In the old days, it was impossible to have both Sword and HORSE at the same time, frustrating many men who demanded more.”

“The solution was take things up a notch with Double Sword and HORSE.”

“They say that HARD GAY was so intense that it killed the other man.”

“Women should not be handling items of such HARD GAY power!”

“That’s it- I can’t hold back any longer!”

“We’re not allowed to initiate HARD GAY yet!”

“Are you saying this is the end for our HARD GAY?”

“You fool- once we get our Liangs out, we have to do the deed!”

“We’ve waited so long for these, the ideal conditions for group Pleasure-“

“Wait- is that a book of techniques?”

“This is the thing you need to take your Pleasure to the next level, isn’t it?”

“Although I guess you would have preferred the version with larger diagrams.”

“Actually, I have several HARD GAY guides already- well used, as you can see.”

“If you flip to the back, you will also see a complete index of potential partners!”

“It even tells you how much HARD GAY they have had…”

“…and you can check whether they’ve used Viagra or not!”

“Yet to have the version with the larger diagrams- why, that would be perfect!”

“This isn’t just about HARD GAY, is it? The army’s going to start selling Viagra!”

(“What kind of world will this become if all my lovers can’t even get the motor running without Viagra?”)

“…every single man in this city to be able to perform whenever and wherever we want him to!”

“I’m sure you can see that we mere recurring characters are doing the right thing.”

“My subordinates are the main characters!”

“Besides, this is a time when every man is HARD!”

“They hardly need to be made dependent on Viagra!”

“In fact, the Guns around here are too advanced for the men who wield them!”

“Now, cooperate with me, and perhaps I can help you with some of those diagrams.”

“Impossible Sword Manoeuvre, Main Character Style!”

“I Dodge with Bullet Time!”

“…and counter with Knife!”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m impressed that a woman could give such Sword.”

“But even main characters aren’t invincible!”

“Wanna bet- Impossible Kick!”

“Aargh- I am defeated!”

“They won’t be satisfied with anything less than full HARD GAY- even if it’s fatal to us!”

“Are you able to give HARD GAY at this distance?”

“Even my Zhuge Liang can’t reach out that far.”

“I know- why don’t we give them Grenade?”

“Then when I get in close, I can give him Liang the old fashioned way.”

“We can’t get up close and personal like this!”

“Weren’t you watching my Flashback Mode? I’ll get an uncontrollable urge for cherry pie and die from overeating!”

I can’t deny I wasn’t wondering how he managed to do those things whilst remaining in the suit, but now it feels like too much information.

“Hans, if you just try BI, you’ll be free of this HARD GAY suit!”

“It’s too late- I’m already frigid!”

“That’s why I’ve been trying to recover the spark with Flaming Pleasure!”

“…like this!”

“Such intense flames only get me in the mood for more!”

“Then here’s round two!”

“Is this what it means to be a main character?”

Don’t try this at home.

“Now I’ll show you some true Pleasure with this Gun!”

“Sorry, but according to elemental affinities, Flame beats Gun!”

“Now I shall become the main character!”

“But doesn’t Grenade beat Flame?”

“Who cares? My Active Turn will come around before his!”

“Oh well, he just used Self Destruct anyway!”

“Mere explosions cannot kill main characters.”

“Exactly- I was just getting naked!”

“Now experience true HARD GAY!”

“Wait- I’ve killed too many with HARD GAY already.”

“Okay, it’s our turn for some Gun.”

“NOOOO!!! Why does cruel irony always interfere with these bonding moments?”

“Will? I thought they were called Randel and Hans!”

“We can have HARD GAY again in Heaven!”

“Aagh, I’ve been hit! I guess I was only destined to be a mid-boss after all.”

“Well, at least I survived through main character power.”

Red Moon, Red Moon…who will be born again tonight?

“And now to round things off with a spot of CORPSE.”

“What do you think of my facelift? Do I look like a proper evil boss now?”

“…evil bosses, aren’t we?”

“You are a mere mid-boss! Do not get ideas above your station!”

(“Damn him! Was all my screen time for nothing?”)

“Perhaps if I service him, I can get back into his good graces.”

“I would like to order some Flaming Pleasure.”

“The Pleasure I can provide is far more satisfying than his Flaming whatever!”

“I’ve given Viagra to needy people…”

“…and drawn a guide to advanced HARD GAY techniques!”

“Yes, yes, all very typical tasks for a mid-boss.”

“I want to be more than just a mid-boss!”

“Fine, then show me this new method of HARD GAY you’ve drawn.”

(“Hmm, how indecent!”)

“Now go and fulfil your role as a mid-boss! You are unworthy of anything more!”

“Damn you! I can go all the way to main villain!”

“Plot events might be happening somewhere!”

“We main characters cannot be left out of important developments!”

“*Sigh* I guess I won’t be getting any Flaming Pleasure, then.”

“Fine, have your damned Pleasure! Just don’t blame me when you get burned!”

“Thanks- this is going to be great!”

“But can you really match Liangs with this man?”

“My Liang is ready for him!”

“Once you taste my gun, you’ll want to give me something in return!”

“I will?”

“I want to be promoted to major boss!”

“You want to become a boss!?”

“And what about this Flaming Pleasure guy?”

“We should kill him too, or the boss won’t want Pleasure with us anymore!”

You can’t go for long without some mention of HORSE.

“I can see that these men are not worthy of your Flaming Pleasure.”

“My Pleasure is strong and refined!”

“My Pleasure is far more intense!”

“Just look at the length of my twin Liangs!”

“Sadly, my Pleasure is so intense that my partners rarely survive.”

“I’m sure you can see that you are neither skilled nor good-looking enough to become a major boss.”

“We cannot match his Pleasure!”

“I live only to service you!”

“Very well, I will pencil you in for my fortnightly Pleasure session.”

“I will Pleasure you as much as you want, sir!”

“Are these the infamous HARD GAY documents everyone’s been talking about?”

“I can’t say I really know anything about them myself.”

“…but we were given these handbooks on basic Pleasuring.”

“Here, let me take a look at that.”

“…a complete compendium of basic HARD GAY techniques!”

“Oreld, have you been having secret BI without us?”

“Sir, the massive Liangs of Section I have begun to stir.”

“Liangs so strong that they violate everyone they come into contact with.”

“Sorry, did you say something? I’m just reading up on a new technique.”

“Hey, was that tank always there?”

“We’re here for the HARD GAY documents!”

“Should we give these guys Gun?”

“Partner located.”

“HARD GAY complete.”

“No sign of those HARD GAY documents.”

“Hey, if you want Gun, try someone skilled- like me!”

“Who wants Flaming Pleasure?”

“This Pleasure is stronger than anything we’ve experienced before! We’d better step up our game if we want to match him!”

“The climax of this battle will soon be reached.”

“It’s the second half of the episode, and we’re finally here!”

“I need to plaster this wall!”

“…violating them with deadly HARD GAY!”

“People don’t want named characters when they can watch generics like us!”

“Let’s barge our way into the plot now!”

“Main characters to the rescue!”

“Dog, I don’t know what you’re hoping to accomplish, but this isn’t the way to go about it.”

“Oh my god! I just remembered I left the gas on!”

“Make sure that gas gets turned off.”

“In the meantime, I shall show these people that rough HARD GAY is not the answer!”

“Does she think that we won’t violate her just because she’s not eligible for HARD GAY?”

“It’s almost like we became main characters of some anime.”

“I may be a woman, but I still have my Sword!”

“We might need to be her deus ex machina.”

“Just let the plot handle that sort of thing.”

“She’s skilled in all types of Pleasure.”

“And if the soldiers want to initiate Gun, they will have to get permission from their superior- the brown dog.”

“It usually takes around an hour for the dog to bark out its decision.”

(“But can she really give them Sword for a whole hour?”)

(“Even a main character could tire under those circumstances.”)

“Hmm, this Sword is pretty good.”

“She’s pretty enthusiastic about giving it to us.”

Back at base, and Hunks is still engrossed in the book of HARD GAY techniques.

“Boss, can you stop reading that book? For one thing, the rest of us want a look!”

“There’s a lot of HARD GAY going on around here!”

“There is?”

“Hang on, I bookmarked some techniques for just such an occasion.”

It’s the night of the red moon, when prinnies are cleansed of their sins and reborn.

Meanwhile…

Plans are made to get ‘samples’ from either Hans or Randel, using traditional methods.

“Well, I guess that wasn’t bad HARD GAY, if not really worth the wait.”

“Hey, I showed you my Liang- at least respond in kind!”

“And I know you’re well aware of the Viagra problem.”

“Viagra? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“And now I have to go and take some Viagra- er, just forget I said that.”

“What’s this? Has he got another man?”

“…manage it without Viagra.”

“If they’re arranging HARD GAY, I’d like to be a part of it.”

“We’re getting written complaints from the viewers!”

“Woman spotted! Activate BI mode!”

“That generic from last episode!”

“I have a name, you know.”

“I know you- you’re that BI maniac.”

“It’s okay, though- I’m into that sort of thing.”

“You are? Usually the girls resist a bit at first, but you’re up for it already, I see.”

“Let’s get started right away.”

“Hey, what about me?”

“I just can’t give Pleasure without Viagra anymore.”

“Hello, I’m here to pay for BI with your daughter.”

“I get BI, you get Viagra- it’s win-win.”

“Stop trying to make me look bad on TV!”

“Didn’t you know? She’s already started selling BI for money.”

“I can’t wait to try her BI for myself.”

“You can have BI for free any time at HQ!”

“That’s what really turns me on!”

(“We’d better look disapproving, even though we’d secretly like that.”)

“I thought you were one of the good guys!”

“I thought you wanted BI- you can’t back out now!”

(“Damn you- only I get to have BI with my daughter!”)

(“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”)

“Hey, Oreld, cut me in on the BI too!”

“How presumptuous of you mere generics!”

“You’ve spent it all on Viagra!”

“You can’t even get it up without Viagra!”

“She’s mine!”

“You can act honourable now, but the moment you need more Viagra, you’ll be back to the old ways.”

“She’s the only BI partner I have left- I only used the Viagra to Pleasure her properly!”

“We may only be generics, but we can make a living out of good BI!”

“We’ll even do it without Viagra!”

(“Reverse psychology- works every time.”)

“I’m here to give you your HARD GAY!”

“I thought I was supposed to be Pleasuring the boss tonight.”

“Er, it looks like there’s going to be some plot progression at long last.”

“The boss forces us to have painful and unpleasant Cane!”

“Then, the next morning we learn that he’s bought in fresh Viagra.”

“If we catch that ugly guy buying Viagra, we can stop this endless round of catch and release.”

“So, when’s the next Viagra and Cane Night?”

“Conveniently enough, it’s tonight.”

“I’m not just a generic underling, you know- I have a tragic back story too!”

“…he showed me that even someone like me can have BI.”

“He taught us basic techniques, gave us generic uniforms…”

“In the end, though, we’re just Pleasure toys for him.”

“Yeah, whatever- let’s go out and get on with the plot.”

“Don’t you think we’ve arrested you enough times already?”

“Uh, before you go out- I need to keep Oreld here for Pleasure.”

“Don’t you usually go for Randel?”

“If you’re here, we can ask him for a threesome!”

“All right, let’s get this arc over with!”

“Lieutenant, would you mind letting me have the Flaming Pleasure guy?”

“He’s exactly my type!”

“We have BI as a team.”

“His Liang is so Zhuge!”

“We’ve got no time for your personal HARD GAY whims, Randel.”

“Gwakaka, everyone thinks I’m a main boss but I’m just a mid-boss!”

“It is a wheel, silver in colour.”

“First, a word from this week’s sponsor- Gundam Seed Astray!”

“Commence Flaming Pleasure!”

“Water beats Fire, right? So all we have to do to get out is drive over this Water element terrain!”

“Uh, does anyone else think that might not have been the best of ideas?”

“Oh my god, my hairspray is beginning to burn off in this heat!”

“If it’s Flaming Pleasure he wants, then let’s give it a try!”

“Hey, what’s wrong with you guys- don’t you think it’s a good idea?”

“We thought we were his only lovers!”

“I never knew he was into this Flaming Pleasure stuff.”

“Would you like some too?”

“Uh, not really…”

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the roar of the flamethrower.”

“Huang Gai is an equal opportunities company- which means Flaming Pleasure for everyone!”

“Come on, men- let’s show him that Rifle is better than Flamethrower any day!”

“Did I just hear a request for more Flamethrower?”

“On second thought- let’s get out of here!”

“Stop showing off your weapon and take my Pistol instead!”

“You’re a member of the blue-light district, aren’t you?”

“…destined partner!”

“If it will calm him down, give him HARD GAY!”

“That’s right- you and I are both HARD GAY!”

“I’m trying to go BI now!”

“Are they whispering sweet nothings?”

“Did someone just press a switch or something?”

“Yep, it was definitely a switch.”

“What’s next- earth and wind?”

“This is just my professional opinion, but I can’t help feeling we should leave.”

“Come with me and I’ll show you the ways of BI!”

“Shut up- the last thing we want is him taking part in our sessions!”

“We didn’t…did we?”

“Was it a group session?”

“We didn’t do anything- you’re actually in here for a Liang checkup.”

“Ah yes, it does look a bit run down.”

“Were you flirting with him?”

“Of course not.”

“We need that Liang of yours back in action.”

“I’m sorry to report that sales of Viagra are down.”

“There’s loads of old guys around here that can’t get it up on their own!”

“As Villain of the Fortnight, I shall come up with an evil plan.”

“Your job is to keep peddling the Viagra.”

“I must continue to rely on their Pleasure- it’s that or celibacy!”

“What a shame- I prefer CORPSE to Pleasure with the living.”

“Now to start the Liang upgrade.”

“You say you met a Huang Gai employee? I worked for them once.”

“When they first rolled out Flaming Pleasure, users unexpectedly found themselves burning up.”

“The solution seemed obvious- encase the men in insulating armoured suits that make them terrifying but generic.”

“Although in fact everything I just said was a lie.”

“We just drug them so they can handle the Pleasure without the accompanying pain.”

“Damn, when I hear about stuff like this, it makes me want to have WALL!”

“I wish I could show that guy gentle BI instead of this intense Flaming Pleasure he has become accustomed to.”

“Well, that’s your Liang tuned up- try not to wear it out so fast this time.”

“Are you sure we can waste more time with these arrest and release scenes?”

“Looks like it- nothing will stop these guys from selling Viagra.”

“…and that was rather good Cane, if I do say so myself.”

“We all know what we’re doing tomorrow, then.”

“Is anyone else experiencing déjà vu right now?”

“The audience is getting bored with this.”

“Sorry, I just had more Cane so we have to let this guy go.”

“Maybe next time I’m here I’ll have some BI.”

“The waterworks president came over to give me Cane in exchange for releasing that generic.”

“I’m afraid it is standard procedure, you know.”

“You know, even if you are a main character, we don’t actually have the authority to investigate this whole Viagra business.

“…Unless, of course, we just happened to spot someone in the process of using it…”

(“My loophole sense is tingling!”)

“Now excuse me, I need to study this Cane position.”

“Leave the plot to us!”

“And along the way, we’d better get those refugees to the BI farm, since that was the initial story.”

“Come on, man, I can’t afford to keep buying Viagra at these prices!”

“Not so fast, bud- there are plenty of people here ready to pay over the odds for a little boost.”

“What’s this? Selling Viagra again?”

“I will not allow the sale of Viagra to taint the purity of BI!”

“Not this again.”

“What, you’re showing me bondage this time?”

“You do know this is pointless, right?”

“Oh, I don’t know- this little game of catch and release will at least eat up some screen time.”

“Ah, free at last- that took all of five seconds.”

“Damn you! I’m arresting you for possession of Viagra…again!”

“You’d better give me all the juicy details about Cane!”

“I’m here to buy my underling’s freedom…again!”

“My Cane is displeased!”

“Fewer people have been buying Viagra and giving me BI in return!”

“I’ve had to resort to paying that Captain Hunks for Cane!”

“…had better put those mouths to use servicing my Cane!”

“That huge Cane!?”

“Hmm, then if not Cane, perhaps you’d like to give me another type of Pleasure.”

“Just name it, and we’ll give it a shot!”

“Then here, show me how good you are at Rifle.”

“What great Rifles!”

“We won’t be lacking in ‘ammunition’ either.”

“I’m looking forward to some good Rifle.”

“Of course!”

“Let’s just get some practice in first!”

“They have chosen Rifle over Cane- I can’t count on them to Pleasure me properly.”

“Luckily, I still have another lover to turn to- this guy from Huang Gai.”

“This is new- they’re trying to give us Rifle!”

“Did we actually manage successful Rifle?”

“They’re still up for more!”

“So, you like Gun, do you? Let me show you how good Gun can be!”

“Are they still up for more?”

“I think they’re satisfied for now.”

“Randel’s HARD GAY will wear anyone out.”

(“I have regular BI partners now- I have to suppress the old HARD GAY instincts!”)

“Those were pretty swish rifles for random generics, I must say; these events could be plot related.”

“I’m sensing a massive Pleasure aura!”

“It’s just like Randel’s insatiable HARD GAY aura!”

“Do you think it might be coming from that guy in front of us, by any chance?”

“I have no idea, so let’s just carry on regardless.”

“Looks like he’s a master of Flamethrower.”

“I thought Flamethrower was already banned.”

“The Flaming Pleasure it provides has caused many to die in the throes of BI.”

“I hate to say this, but it looks like he wants us to be his next Flamethrower partners.”

“Hello, I’m from the Huang Gai mobile recovery service, here to give you some Flaming Pleasure!”

Pumpkin Scissors, sponsored by the Shakespeare Appreciation Society.

“Why did I get so carried away with Hyper Self Pleasure?”

“Get your hand away from your Liang!”

“Haven’t you learned your lesson about Hyper Self Pleasure?”

“It’s no good- I can’t bear the thought of life without Hyper Self Pleasure!”

“Get a grip, man!”

“New Wang will get you up and running again!”

“Hello, Huang Gai mobile recovery service, here to fix your problems- with fire!”

“Get away from us! This isn’t the kind of help we need!”

“We’ve made it our policy never to have fatal levels of Pleasure!”

“Shut up and take it like a man!”

“If that’s how you feel, take my Gun!”

“What an oversight! Who can I sue?”

Huang Gai Incorporated, bringing flaming hot Pleasure into your lives.

“Right, so who’s next?”

You can’t argue with that.

“It warms my heart to help people achieving Flaming Pleasure.”

The episode begins with the necessary exposition.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t pay you for BI!”

“You know, as in ‘rent boy’.”

“But if you can’t pay us for BI, then at least give us an especially good session to make up for it!”

“Hmm, time for a melon inspection, I think.”

“This is just our standard way of measuring cup size.”

“And that’s my opinion as a BI expert.”

“Are you here for HARD GAY?”

“If you want HARD GAY, you’re welcome to it.”

“Oh wait, you wanted BI first, right? Don’t worry, I can wait.”

“When you come onto me like this, I get hard…”

“Wait- who said I even wanted HARD GAY?”

“Who are you anyway?”

“Who cares about that- you’re my type!”

“Do you come here often?”

“Hey, Oreld, stop pestering that guy for HARD GAY- we’re here on official BI business.”

“And as main characters, we can even change your lives!”

“But the army’s already giving us regular HARD GAY- what more do we need?”

“Besides, we know you main character types- you start by saving us, but then you never follow it up in the next episode.”

“We don’t want unresolved plot threads any more than you do- that’s why we’ve set up a BI farm for you to live happily ever after on.”

“We can earn our way through BI?”

“Sounds like a win-win situation to me.”

“Hey, isn’t this going to mess up our BI racket?”

“The boss isn’t going to like it if there’s no one left down here to service him.”

“It’s only the beginning of the episode- there’s plenty of time for things to go wrong.”

“They’ve become accustomed to the dank and squalid living conditions, not to mention the substandard group BI.”

“I’m not sure why, but some people don’t want to leave these dank and squalid living conditions, and their substandard group BI.”

“But they can have great BI out in the sunshine!”

“Our BI may not seem like much to you, but it’s important to us!”

“Soldiers and their outdated techniques should be put to rest!”

“Go and have your embarrassingly old-fashioned HARD GAY and BI behind closed doors!”

“What’s this? You have DOG too?”

Metz gets a firsthand taste of DOG.

“DOG is just wasted on those guys- I need some.”

“You’re into DOG!?”

“Hmm, looks like someone’s been on the Viagra, eh?”

“After insulting our BI, you’d better have a good explanation for needing Viagra!”

“Why didn’t you show up for my eleven o’clock HARD GAY appointment?”

“You know I can’t get up from behind this desk.”

“When I schedule HARD GAY, I expect my desires to be fulfilled!”

“Here, have a nice cup of coffee instead- I’m afraid we just ran out of tea.”

“So, I see your section is no stranger to using Viagra.”

“There is no shame in using Viagra to enhance one’s Pleasure.”

“How can you say that? True Pleasure is achieved without such crutches!”

“I will not allow this distribution of Viagra to continue!”

“Not everyone is up for this sort of Pleasure!”

“Call this Pleasure? This is more like pain!”

“All that boasting about how good your BI was, and now you give me this treatment?”

“How dare you criticise my BI when you force people into paying for your inferior Pleasure?”

“Without Viagra, we might not be able to give them the Pleasure they have become accustomed to.”

“I’m ready to dispense Cane to whoever wants it!”

“She gives good BI, and I’m sure she’d reward you.”

“We are important characters, after all- even if I get hardly any screen time.”

“This is a matter of BI, so I shall leave it in your hands, Alice.”

“Can we really get BI here?”

“Superficial BI is okay, but I wouldn’t recommend the more intense kind.”

“A Pleasure stand!”

“Yay, we get some ‘sausage’ at last!”

“Giving Pleasure to named characters has always been my lifelong dream!”

A symbolic image indeed.

”Just the way I like it.”

“That was great BI! Could we, uh, have it for free?”

“You do know I make a living off selling Pleasure, don’t you?”

“He’s a main character- how can you think about charging him?”

“I refuse to use my status as a main character to get free BI from generics!”

“And while we’re at it, how can you have truly enjoyable Pleasure by always forcing your partner into submission?”

“To be honest, I don’t enjoy this rough sort of BI!”

“…but in my country, it is the submissive who die when the BI gets too intense!”

“I have been forced into having INCEST again and again.”

“Even my maid died in the Pleasure!”

“I too could die in the Pleasure if I am not careful!”

“The trauma has made me scared of my native BI, but I thought I could find safer Pleasure here!”

“What can you do, Mr. HARD GAY?”

“Hurry up, or we’ll miss important plot events!”

“Hello, we’re a clearly suspicious group of ruffians.”

“We can finally have BI with her.”

“Unhand me, generics!”

“Hmm, sounds like your BI will make us a pretty penny.”

“He can give you HARD GAY.”

“Soldiers don’t need to come down here for HARD GAY!”

“Hey, I’m here- and I’ve got WOOD!”

“It’s behind you!”

“Hey, I understand you guys have been deprived of Pleasure, but do you have to be so rough?”

“I don’t think he’s up to the sort of HARD GAY we like.”

“He’s very skilled!”

“Then how about we try him with some Dagger?”

Machs gives the ruffians a taste of his HARD GAY.

“It’s time for afternoon BI!”

“Damn, we just missed out on all the action, didn’t we?”

“I thought it was all a joke, even the back story!”

“Fancy some BI later?”

“Of course, Princess.”

“Still as eager for BI as ever.”

“Would you like me to give you BI too?”

“No thanks- I prefer Machs!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”

(“Way to go, Machs my boy.”)

“You know, your BI isn’t too bad.”

“From now on, I want Machs to be my designated BI partner whenever I visit.”

“Now my plot role is over, and thus farewell.”

“What about me?”

“You can still have BI with me when we’re at home.”

“In fact, let’s have it now.”

“I don’t want it- your BI has become weak.”

“That sort of BI is easy to learn…”

“…but it is also disappointing.”

“If you let your partner show their skills at their own pace instead of forcing them…”

“…the BI is much more satisfactory.”

“If I am to rule my country, I need to explore this sort of BI.”

“And this way, I can make people into my devoted love slaves.”

“I can see that I no longer need to be your BI tutor, for you have surpassed me.”

“Anyway, that wasn’t full BI with Machs- just a little taster.”

“Don’t think you can get away with a lame excuse like that- I saw it!”

“Hey Machs, I hear you’re a fully fledged member of the BI side now!”

“What!?”

“There’s no backing out of it now, boy.”

“Stop complaining- some of us never get any.”

A New Wang outlet is sighted.

Just the way some people like it.

“Do you have to echo everything I say?”

“It’s for the audience’s benefit- they just came in.”

“Sounds like a plot related event to me.”

“She must be here to sample the local BI.”

“She’s not the sort of person to sleep around!”

“Do you have convenient back story with her?”

“Of course- it’s a narrative necessity.”

“So, anyway, why is she here?”

“What? Oh, sorry, I was just drinking this coffee to make sure I don’t fall asleep during any boring scenes.”

“Did I say gratitude? I meant to say that she’s here for gratification- or in other words, she wants to sample the local BI.”

“Royals are always looking to come over and sample our native BI.”

“Right, we’re here- let’s sample the local BI!”

“I thought I was your designated partner!”

“But I already did it with you when we set out!”

“Then again when we left the country…”

“…and at suppertime…”

“…and even once this morning! How much more do you want?”

“I will give you BI over and over until your technique is perfect!”

“You may think I am undesirable, but my BI tutoring is what you need if you are to succeed the throne.”

“Damn, we’ve talked so long that I’ve missed my chance to have local sausage!”

“Did you just say what I thought you said?”

“Sorry, but I can’t seem to find that HARD GAY stand you wanted to visit.”

“Damn, I really liked the HARD GAY they gave there.”

“There just don’t seem to be many HARD GAY stores around these days.”

“I bet those guys are all having HARD GAY with each other and not letting us in on it.”

“Well, if we can’t get any, I hope Randel is just as unlucky in love as we are.”

“Actually, it’s impossible for him to have any kind of Pleasure today.”

“He’s over at New Wang right now, having it remodelled.”

“Time to see how the Liang’s doing.”

“Wait a minute…where is it?”

“My Zhuge Liang is gone!”

“I have it stored in here.”

“You what? NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Oreld, what are you doing? I thought this was a HARD GAY session, not a BI one?”

“But you know, I just fancied some BI, so I randomly picked her up.”

“I’d like to make a witty retort, but someone forgot to draw me properly.”

“All HARD GAY and no BI makes Machs a dull boy!”

“Wait- don’t leave me!”

“How dare he organise BI and leave me without a partner?”

“I can’t help it; I just feel more comfortable around men.”

“Why did a woman have to show up just when I was sneakily having Hyper Self Pleasure?”

“Since you seem to have commenced Hyper Self Pleasure, you may as well continue.”

“Your Liang doesn’t look worthy enough to Pleasure me anyway.”

“…for being brave enough to get out such a small Liang in public.”

“Why is this happening to me?”

“Hmm, I suppose I could let you have a taste of the royal Pleasure after all- it could be an interesting diversion.”

“Hey, don’t turn away- I offered you Pleasure!”

“I will service you directly, your Majesty.”

“On second thought, wouldn’t it be better if you went home instead of having Pleasure with a complete stranger?”

“What if you miss a scheduled BI session with your butler?”

“He’ll have to make do with Hyper Self Pleasure.”

“I just don’t feel comfortable giving you ‘sausage’.”

“Sausage, you say?”

“The reason I came here was to sample the local BI, as glimpsed from my carriage window!”

“I used to buy HARD GAY from the place you saw.”

“…but they moved, and so today I couldn’t buy any.”

“I guess you’re trying to hint that you’re more into HARD GAY than BI.”

“I don’t even know where you would find BI- Oreld handles that kind of thing.”

“Soldiers always prioritise HARD GAY.”

“The people who register for BI with us like their names to be kept strictly confidential.”

“He’s also a named character, and so surely vastly more important than a generic like you.”

“I recognise you from the character page on the official website!”

“Thanks for having HARD GAY with me the other day.”

“Why would a HARD GAY soldier be asking for BI?”

“I’m sure it’s plot related.”

“…you should be familiar with BI as well as HARD GAY, shouldn’t you?”

“HARD GAY and BI are different, you know.”

“You should become familiar with BI and use it to manipulate people.”

“You’re too young to be so cynical- or even to be having Pleasure, for that matter.”

“It’s time for some back story.”

“Yes, as designed by Montague of Romeo X Juliet.”

“At home, the royal children are isolated, with only Hyper Self Pleasure to occupy them.”

“…followed by an orgy.”

“That’s the way it is in group sessions.”

“Sorry, the writers asked me to say all that to kill time.”

“Anyway, on with the story.”

“As a store owner, he must sell BI.”

“Knocking” on someone’s “door” is clearly slang for having BI.

“When I want BI, I get it!”

“She knows I prefer HARD GAY, so she’s looking for a different partner for BI.”

“They’re both females who like BI…practically indistinguishable, in fact.”