Picking up from where episode 12 left off…

King: Dearest Barty!

Barty: Your Highness, how I missed your skills on the giant penis airship, which is probably where I was all this time. Oh, and Gerald, thank you for protecting my beloved students.

Gerald: Any time, Barty dearest.

Beruze: Let’s stop this gay reunion and get on with the final battle.

Dark Messenger starts playing. Barty draws out some papers.

Barty: That’s right- I am in fact a Paper Master, but before I attack you, Beruze, I shall use Dispel to free Isaac from your evilz.

Cut to Isaac and Orphe. Isaac winks to show he is on the side of good again.

Isaac: Is tonight good for you, Orphe?

Orphe: I thought you’d never ask.

King: Everyone, today we save the world from the evilz of women!

Beruze is losing against the power of Barty and GOOD. He resorts to taking Duke Forst hostage.

Beruze: Hahaha, I shall have the last laugh! Now that I’ve taken this unimportant minor character hostage, no one will dare to harm me!

Beruze makes his escape whilst everyone else stands around.

Camus: Mystic Rose Quartz- Materialise!

Lui: Five pillars, let’s go and end this!

Our heroes stride out of the door. Gerald goes to follow them, but Barty stops him.

Barty: Gerald- supporting characters like us cannot help no matter how insanely powerful we are.

Cut to some dark corridor somewhere- Beruze meets up with Bernard.

Bernard: Beruze, listen to me just one last time. I know you always wanted to be gay, but…

Beruze: You never understood my needs!

The five pillars arrive.

Orphe: Beruze, forget about all that trying to kill us and overthrow the king stuff- we’ll forgive you!

Beruze: I cannot, for I am Bernard’s bastard half-brother, and have led a life of bitterness and hatred!

The five pillars take it in turn to step forward. Beruze equips a gun.

Camus: Love and peace.

Ed: My beloved Orphe showed me that you don’t need to be legitimate to be gay!

Lui: I don’t really like or trust you, but this is the last episode so I must say something encouraging.

Naoji: Your feelings and desires can remake the world!

Orphe: Come over to the side of good!

Beruze: Orphe, I always wanted to sleep with you…

A random blue flame of DESTINY appears.

Orphe: I have all the men I need, but Bernard needs you.

Bernard’s eyes beg for forgiveness, but before he turns to his brother, Beruze shoots some conveniently placed boxes of gunpowder. Everything catches alight.

Beruze: Did I mention that pyromania is one of my flaws?

Bernard walks over to his brother and hugs him.

Bernard: Let’s forget about all that and rejoice in our gay, incestuous love.

Beruze: Brother, you’ve never held me so warmly, but I’m just not ready…

Beruze pushes Bernard away and runs through the flames to an uncertain fate.

Cut to ‘some time later’. The five pillars and Isaac stand in front of the burnt out ruins. Nothing is said before we cut to an audience with the king. The five pillars are present.

King: I would like to thank all of you for your efforts this season. This world has women, but you must not fear, I will do everything in my power to keep this country gay. Oh, and by the way, I’d like to introduce you to my most trusted advisor- yes, that’s right, it’s Gerald.

Everyone is shocked.

Gerald: I learned my HARD GAY skills from the King and Barty themselves.

Cut to various scenes showing that all is well; Isaac back in his café, Bernard leaving in a car, Barty in his office with Eilos.

Barty: Eilos, surely you realised you were too ugly to play an important or effective role?

Cut to the greenhouse- the three newbies are helping the five pillars.

Elmunt: Camus, let’s be Flower Otome together.

Lui: Nicholas, it looks like Camus is going to be busy tonight, care to visit my room later?

Nicholas: Of course, Ludwig-sama- my eyes have been opened to the true path of HARD GAY!

And they all lived happily ever after…until next season, if there is one.

Coming soon to late never- Meine Otome
Rosenstolz is an academy that trains men to become Bishotome- HARD GAY bishounen looking to spread their bishie ways across the country. Follow the adventures of the five pillars as they try to combat a wave of heterosexuality and ugly non-bishiness.
Five pillars: Lui, Orphe, Ed, Naoji and Camus (Mystic Rose Quartz)
Harmonium player: Bernard
Slave master: Beruze
Yohko: Gerald
King’s Bishotome: Barty
Minor meisters: Nicholas, Daniel, Elmunt (Dull Brown Rock)

Naoji serves Camus tea.

Naoji: I know I should only do this for Lui, but since he sent me away I haven’t had the chance to wear my butler’s uniform and make tea as often as I’d like.

Cut to Beruze vs. King- dissolve into boss battle with FF8 battle music.

Beruze: I shall fight for a non-bishie world!

King: Kuchen shall ever be a shining example of bishiness for all of Europe!

Cut to Bernard, who is playing the Harmonium, then to Orphe, Ed, Camus and Naoji (four of the five pillars) as they prepare to leave Rosenstolz. Eilos tries to stop them, but Nicholas appears.

Nicholas: Your opponent is me. Materialise!

Elmunt and Daniel arrive to support Nicholas.

Eilos: Daniel, you too?

Daniel: I’m sorry, but you weren’t bishie enough to be my master. Delta attack!

The Pearl and Coral Otome (Rosenstolz students) arrive to help in the fight against Eilos.

Eilos: Does no one support me and my non-bishie ways?

Nicholas: Eilos, surely you can see that it’s important the powers of love and friendship carry the day?

Eilos: Yes, yes, you’re right- five minutes of exposition have opened my eyes after a lifetime of evilz. Go forth, Orphe, and set things right before the end of the season.

Orphe and the others leave and meet up with Lui- the five Pillars are together again!

Lui: Even though I’ve been stuck in seclusion for the last couple of episodes, I know more about what’s going on than the rest of you.

Lui updates the others on the situation before Gerald arrives and they launch their attack on the castle.

Cut to the throne room- Beruze vs the King, round 2, with Chrono Cross boss music.

Duke Forst: Wait a minute, I’m supposed to be the EVILZ leader of the conspiracy, let me have at least two seconds of screentime.

Beruze: Shut up, you’re just a convenience for the plot- everyone knows I’m the real villain!

Gerald and the five Pillars arrive.

Forst: Ludwig! His long bishie hair makes me tremble in fear.

Lui: Your Majesty, we shall use our Otome powers to protect you.

King: Thank you- I can no longer materialise since I slept with Barty too many times.

Battle start- Isaac vs Orphe, with Chrono Cross battle music. Everyone else stands around and does nothing.

Orphe draws sword, Isaac draws gun. Each waits for their ATB to fill before attacking. After round 1, Isaac is kneeling on the ground at the mercy of Orphe’s sword.

Isaac: This is just like the old days- the bondage games we used to play…

Orphe: We can play those games again, Isaac, you just need to come back to the side of good.

Isaac: I’m sorry, but I must protect my child.

Beruze: Isaac, you fool! I was just using my pregnancy to manipulate you- but I’ve already had an abortion!

Isaac gasps. FFX battle system is used to swap out Isaac for Beruze in the enemy party.

Beruze: Now it’s my turn.

The door opens and Headmaster Barty enters! After a nod to his lover, the king, he switches into the active party. Everyone else remains motionless.

Barty: I’m back, and I have levelled up through many months in the penis airship.

Beruze: Excellent- let the final boss battle (phase one) begin.

To be continued.

Coming soon- Gunslinger Wieder
Camus and Leohart are fratello (siblings), but not just in the conventional sense of the word. A terminal patient ‘saved’ by the Kuchen Bishie Welfare Agency, Camus was the recipient of cybernetic implants, along with mental conditioning that erased all memory of his past. Leohart is his handler, the man in charge of overseeing not only his welfare, but the training required to transform him into a top class Flower Otome. Their job is nothing less than to hunt down non-bishies and spread HARD GAYNESS throughout the country.

Orphe: You- you really love him more? After all we’ve been through together?

Lui: Orpherus, the studio may bill you as the main character but I’m the one the fans love. Don’t expect any sympathy from the audience.

Orphe: Fine, then, I’ll just go back to loyal Ed.

Cut to Ed riding his horse. Gerald approaches him.

Ed: Gerald-sensei!

Gerald: Ed, I’m sure you can’t have failed to notice my bishie good looks, and I know you’ve been dying to ask me those important questions about love. Therefore I put myself at your disposal- with my HARD GAY knowledge, Orphe will never want to stray again.

Ed: Gerald-sensei, how can I ever repay you?

Gerald: Well, you know, I have needs too- just come to my office later and we’ll call it even.

Cut to Isaac.

Isaac: So, I’m going to be a father? I guess I can’t betray Beruze now.

Beruze enters.

Beruze: That’s right, Isaac, for the sake of your unborn child you must stay with me.

Cut to Rosenstolz. Daniel is reporting back to Elmunt and Nicholas.

Daniel: So basically, for no real reason, I’m fighting on the side of good now. I really wish our characters could have been developed more.

Elmunt: Heresy! That would have taken screen time away from the bishie leads.

Cut to the gardens. Orphe and Ed are there.

Orphe: Ed, I can’t thank you enough for soothing my broken heart- but where did you learn those new techniques?

Bernard approaches.

Bernard: Orpherus, Eduard, good to see you enjoying time together. You see, although I have been generally evilz and non-bishie, I know that deep inside me lives the spirit of a HARD GAY bishie.

Cut to Lui’s hiding place. Lui is making unspecified preparations.

Lui: Only someone with hair as luscious as mine can possibly save the day- again.

Cut to the castle. Beruze, Isaac and the non-bishie alliance confront the king.

Beruze: Your Majesty, I’m sure you recognise me from last season, Well, somehow I escaped justice and now I’m back, complete with lackeys!

King: You- what do you want?

Beruze: The nation of Kuchen is far too bishie- I demand that the bishie level be lowered so that my child won’t grow up with an inferiority complex.

King: You fiend!

To be continued…

Coming Soon- Tactics Liebe

Join folklorist Camus and his ogre-eating goblin Lui on their demon busting adventures!

Characters
Kantarou = Camus
Haruka = Lui
Sugino = Orphe
Moo-chan = Ed
Youko = Elmunt
Suzu-chan = Naoji
EVILZ demons (Watanabe and woman) = Beruze and Isaac

Isaac is angsting by himself.

Isaac: I always wanted to ‘shoot’ at Orphe, but not quite so literally! What do I do now- can I ever go back to the side of good?

Cut to Bernard’s office, where the non-bishie alliance is gathering.

Eilos: Headmaster, we are almost ready to make our move. No longer shall bishies rule the country of Kuchen and make the ugly side characters feel inferior and inadequate.

Random faculty member: Yes, but what of the students and their HARD GAY ways?

Eilos: Fear not, for I have a loyal operative amongst the students. His name is Daniel, and his Otome powers will subdue those infuriating Strahl and their bishie followers. They will even reveal the location of our greatest threat- Ludwig.

Elsewhere in the school, Orphe talks to Elmunt and Nicholas.

Orphe: Thank you for randomly turning to the side of good last week- it was a great help.

Elmunt: I would do anything for my beloved Camus- and as for Nicholas, he just isn’t developed enough to do more than whatever’s convenient to the plot.

Later, Ed, Camus and Orphe are angsting together.

Camus: Lui, I need you. Elmunt is sweet, but he doesn’t have your driving passion.

Orphe: Lui, our inner circle is incomplete without you.

Ed: Orphe… (to himself) I wish I could be the only man you wanted- how can I tell you that Isaac has betrayed you?

In the relative safety and seclusion of Daniel’s house, Naoji (in his butler’s uniform) serves Lui tea.

Lui: Ah, Naoji, I thank you for servicing me during this difficult time of exile from the men I need.

Naoji: I live to serve you, Lui.

Cut to Beruze’s office- he is talking to a random man.

Beruze: Now, Doctor, you’re absolutely sure about this?

Doctor: Yes, Beruze- you are pregnant.

Beruze: Isaac, I have you now! You will never do anything that would put our lovechild in danger!

Later that evening, Ed sneaks around town. He runs into Isaac.

Isaac: Ed!

Ed: Isaac, it’s always been hard enough for me to accept that Orphe wanted you when he already had me. Even so, I put up with it- but for you to betray my beloved is just unacceptable!

Gerald appears from nowhere.

Gerald: Ed, we should wait and see what the plot has in store.

Meanwhile, Orphe has gone to visit Lui.

Lui: Ah, Orpherus, this is a pleasant surprise.

Orphe: Lui, I’ve missed you so much and that’s all you have to say!?

Lui: Orphe, I have a confession to make….Naoji is the one I love the most.

Shocked, Orphe grabs Lui by the collar.

Orphe: Lui! How could you choose him over me?

To be continued…

Bernard is playing the Harmonium and recalling his past break-up with Beruze. Cut to Isaac and Beruze.

Beruze: Isaac, you truly are the man for me. Bernard was never this good.

Isaac: Beruze, you have shown me far more than the inner circle ever could have.

Isaac steps outside for a cigarette after sleeping with Beruze. An image of his sister flashes into his mind.

Isaac: Pah, women, what need do I have for them?

Soldiers arrive at Rosenstolz and the nearby town. One of them reads a royal proclamation.

Soldier: By royal proclamation, we are here to take Ludwig Liechtenstein into custody. The king has decided that his bishie rating is threateningly high, and that he must be incarcerated to stop the spread of homosexuality throughout the country.

Inside, the inner circle is with Lui.

Orphe: What are you going to do, Lui? The inner circle can’t continue without you!

Camus: Don’t leave me, Lui! I’m sorry about the whole Elmunt thing- you’ll always be my number one!

Ludwig: Very well, then, let us escape through the tunnels conveniently located under the school.

Meanwhile, the teachers are searching for Ludwig.

Bernard: Where is Ludwig?

Daniel: He’s in his room. (to himself) If I get rid of the bishie leads, nothing will stand in the way of my becoming a main character!

Fortunately for the plot, Lui and the others have already escaped via the first tunnel, only to run into Nicholas and Elmunt!

Orphe: Nicholas, Elmunt! What an unexpected plot twist!

Camus: Dear Elmunt, you wouldn’t turn us in, would you?

Nicholas: Don’t worry, even though I’ve shown no signs of liking you before, I’m going to help all of you. Here’s another conveniently placed tunnel you can use to get into town, then you can stay at Daniel’s house.

Orphe: Daniel? Isn’t he evil?

Nicholas: Oh no, that was all just an act- it’s called “character development”.

Lui and the inner circle proceed through the tunnel into town, only to be attacked by non-bishie townsfold. An exciting swordfight ensues, until Isaac shoots at Orphe.

Ed: Orphe!

Orphe avoids injury, but Ed recognises Isaac.

Ed: Isaac, you were our friend from season one, what could have happened?

Orphe: What’s wrong, Ed?

Ed: Oh, nothing.

The inner circle continues their flight, but where will they end up? Is this why Lui is in chains in the OP?

To be continued…

Flashback to Naoji’s childhood. He is crying outside when his mother comes out to find him.

Mother: What’s wrong, Naoji?

Naoji: Father beat me again. I just can’t seem to perform well enough for him.

Forward to the present. Nicholas, Elmunt and Daniel are talking to random students.

Nicholas: And I say to you nameless characters, give up your hopes of being allowed into the inner circle and join my heterosexual movement!

The inner circle (minus Lui) and Gerald approach.

Gerald: What’s going on here?

Nicholas: Nothing.

The crowd disperses. Elmunt winks at Camus, who sighs.

Ed: Looks like someone’s in love.

Orphe: Camus, don’t let Lui know you have a new boyfriend. I don’t think he’d approve of someone as un-bishie as Elmunt.

Naoji is practising archery. His aim is off, whereas Daniel (who randomly shows up from nowhere) easily hits the target.

Daniel: Your skills are nothing compared to mine, Naoji…see my HiME powers in action.

Ludwig takes everyone to the Liechtenstein mansion to see his mother.

Ludwig: My mother’s been terribly upset ever since she found out I was gay. I need everyone to be on their best behaviour so that she will approve of my choice in lovers.

Everyone introduces themselves to Ludwig’s mother, but she runs out in tears when Ed starts playing the piano.

Ed: I didn’t think it was that bad.

Ludwig: Okay, I admit it wasn’t all about my being gay- her older brother Duke Halbert was executed last week. Naoji, you go and cheer her up.

Naoji: But she’s your mother.

Ludwig: Naoji, if you don’t obey me I won’t let you wear your favourite butler’s uniform next time.

Naoji rushes to obey. He finds Ludwig’s mother outside.

Mother: Naoji, you’re such a kind person.

Naoji: Since I can’t really tell women apart, you remind me of my mother.

Cut to Ludwig and Naoji a short while later.

Ludwig: Thank you, Naoji- you know I always appreciate your efforts.

Naoji: Thank you, Lui- just to be beside you is enough for me.

Cut to Orphe and Naoji standing by a lake.

Orphe: Naoji, I know I spend most of my time with Ed, but I want you to know that you are just as important to me.

Naoji (to himself): Orphe, Lui…which one do I love more?

Coming soon- Cakeville Stories!

Good news, fans! Your favourite series, formerly known as Meine Liebe, has just been licensed by 4Kids Entertainment! And to make the series more accessible to average Americans such as ourselves, we’ve completely retooled the series and taken out all those crazy Notamerican references! So sit back, relax, and have a groovin’ time with the gang in the newly renamed Cakeville Stories!

Synopsis
In the average American town of Cakeville, the Mayor rules with a firm but fair hand. His town council, the Sun Council, is comprised of handpicked graduates from the town’s prestigious school, Rose Academy. Follow the adventures of the Rose Academy seniors as they struggle to become members of the Sun Council!

Dub names guide
Orpherus Furst von Marmelade Nahe Gorz (Orphe) -> Oscar Grossman

Eduard Markgraf von Sekt Braunschweig -> Eddy Brown

Naoji Ishisizuki -> Nathan Ishtar (from a town in the east)

Ludwig Herzog von mon Nahe Liechtenstein -> Lewis Johnston

Camus Pfalzgraf von Silvaner Luneburg -> Charles Moonberg

Bartholomew -> Principal Barty

Beruze -> Bert

Josef Torger -> Joseph Torchman

Gerald -> Jerry

Worried about guns and swords? Never fear, guns are now “stun lasers” and all swords are made of plastic (the dub dialogue will emphasise this). Churches and religious symbols will be replaced with inoffensive square blocks (at least until the Worshippers of the Holy Tetragon file complaints). Blood will be digitally painted out and deaths will be replaced with mysterious disappearances.

Elmunt takes Camus to his humble abode.

Elmunt: Camus, I know it’s early days in our relationship, but I wanted to invite you home to meet my parents- or at least my mother. You see, ours is a poor family, typical lone hardworking mother, earnest son (that’s me) and chirpy younger siblings. Most importantly, though, we have a rose garden!

Camus meets Elmunt’s family and sees the rose garden.

Camus: Roses, what a cruel reminder that my Otome powers are fading…

Elmunt: Camus, there’s something I need to tell you. I’ve loved you for a long time now- ever since I joined the Academy I’ve been watching you from afar.

Flashback to Elmunt and Bartholomew watching the Strahl candidates pass by below.

Bartholomew: Elmunt, it’s no good- no matter how much you pine after Camus, you can never be with him. You just aren’t bishie enough.

Back to the present. Elmunt takes Camus home.

Leohart (Camus’ brother): Camus, what are you doing out so late? Have you been seeing other men behind my back?

Camus: Brother, it’s not like that…

Leohart: I thought you came home so that we could be together again. This behaviour is unacceptable.

Camus: I’m sorry.

Cut to Rosenstolz- Eilos is talking to Bernard.

Eilos: As your evil henchman, I believe it is my duty to remind you not to waver in the course of EVILZ. Turning to the side of good will not earn you Beruze’s love.

Cut to Ludwig’s house. Lui is talking to his mother.

Ludwig: Mother, I’m sorry, but….I need MEN.

Mother breaks down in tears.

The next day, Camus angsts outside Elmunt’s house. Leohart arrives.

Leohart: Camus, what are you doing! I just prised you away from those Strahl bishies, and now you’re angsting after a new man! Come home with me this instant!

Camus takes a few steps away before having a vision of one of Elmunt’s siblings falling out of a tree.

Camus: Brother, I do love you…but you just aren’t bishie enough for me.

Camus runs into Elmunt’s garden. The sibling is in the tree- other sibling and Elmunt are also there.

Camus: Materialise!

Camus saves the sibling with Elmunt’s help.

Camus: I thought I’d lost my Flower Otome powers, but thanks to you, Elmunt, I’ve had a trademark anime reversal of fortune.

Cut to Rosenstolz- the other Strahl candidates welcome Camus back. Lui watches from a staircase above.

Lui (to himself): All is as it should be.

Elmunt is sitting with Daniel and Nicholas.

Daniel: You’ll never be able to compete with them for Camus’ love, you know.

Elmunt: You just don’t understand what it means to be HARD GAY, Daniel. To have spent just one day with Camus is enough to last me a lifetime.

To be continued…

Coming soon- Mobile Suit Gundam Liebe
The war between Earth and the Kuchen space colony has been raging for years, but at long last Kuchen has developed a secret weapon that could turn the tide of battle. Codenamed Project Rozenstolz, their trump card takes the form of five mobile suits piloted by specially trained teenagers- Orphe, Ludwig, Naoji, Ed and Camus. Expect angst, clip shows and much much more as we follow their efforts to put an end to the fighting in no less than fifty episodes.

Characters
Orphe: a pure-hearted young man with a strong sense of justice, he finds himself torn between his need to protect the innocent and his moral objections to fighting and killing. He pilots the Gorz Gundam.

Ludwig: a pragmatic and highly skilled pilot who thinks nothing of fighting those who oppose his ideals. He pilots the Liechtenstein Gundam, and is the son of an important minister in the Kuchen government.

Naoji: originally born on Earth, Naoji nonetheless fights for Kuchen’s cause. His wish is to end the war as quickly as possible, yet he often finds himself beset with conflicting loyalties on important missions. He pilots the Ishizuki Gundam.

Ed: somewhat hotheaded, Ed is always first to plunge into the midst of battle. His sworn duty is to protect Orphe, and he seems to care little for the bigger picture, shunning politics and falling asleep during the duller parts of mission briefings. He pilots the Braunschweig Gundam.

Camus: a pure and innocent soul, Camus is supposed to have great powers, but no evidence of this is spotted on the battlefield until around episode 48, and he is usually kept back from the front lines. He pilots the Luneburg Gundam.

Isaac: an Earth forces officer, he is chosen to pilot their experimental Cavendish mobile suit. Although he claims to be fully loyal to Earth, he has past ties with Kuchen.

Beruze: the EVILZ commander of the Earth forces, he sees Kuchen as a menace and is determined to bring about the colony’s downfall.

Gerard: a mysterious character who has taken to wearing a mask for that authentic Gundam feel.

The ‘inner circle’ finds a letter from Camus.

Orphe: This can’t be right…it says here that Camus has gone back home- that he’s deserted the inner circle!

Collective gasp.

Orphe: Camus, your gentle heart…

Ludwig: …and sweet face…

Orphe: The inner circle cannot be fractured like this just because of the workings of Bernard! Come on, Ed, we must get him back!

Cut to Camus estate. Camus is tending his flowers. His brother Leohart approaches.

Leohart: Camus, I never thought you’d desert the inner circle like this.

Camus: Brother, you don’t understand- I couldn’t be a Flower Otome in such a terrible, heterosexual atmosphere. I had to come back to the place where you taught me the true meaning of love.

Back at Rosenstolz, Bernard hands an unspecified book to Beruze.

Bernard: Beruze, I’m doing everything you asked, can’t you see fit to give me one more chance?

Beruze: Don’t you get it, Bernard- you’re my bitch now. Jump when I tell you, bark when I tell you, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll let you watch me and Isaac.

Bernard: You are so cruel to me, Beruze- if you’re not careful I’ll betray you in episode 13, part A.

Beruze: Don’t kid yourself, Bernard, you aren’t bishie enough to join the side of good.

Cut to Orphe and Ed meeting with Camus’ brother.

Leohart: I know you’re concerned about Camus, but as a Flower Otome he’s a lot more sensitive than the rest of you. That school of yours is no place for him right now.

Later that evening, Camus dreams of a field of red roses.

Camus: These roses…they aren’t my usual blue and white! And I’m all alone! Lui, where are you?

The next day, Camus tends his flowers when he is pricked by a rose.

Camus: What’s happening? Am I losing my Flower Otome powers?

Camus runs away, only to meet Elmunt.

Camus: Elmunt? Why have you randomly come to my house?

Elmunt: Camus, I wanted to apologise- all I day was say one sentence to you last week in the non parody version and that was enough to make you leave school. Clearly I’m at fault.

Camus: Elmunt, you don’t understand- according to the preview I’ve still got one more episode of angst before I can go back!

Cut to Beruze.

Beruze: Ah, it’s that time again- the point in the episode where I expound upon my evil plans whilst Isaac listens and wrestles with the inner dilemma of whether his friends are more important than following the orders of his lover.

To be continued…

Coming Soon…Meine HiME
Before coming to Rosenstolz Academy, all Orphe wanted was to live an ordinary high school life, but that’s the last thing he’s going to get. It turns out that Orphe is a STraHL (Superior Trained Higher Lifeform), one of a number of men with super-natural powers that are gathered at this school to fight the Orphans, demons that dwell around the school. A secret organization has other plans for the STraHL than just demon-busting and Orphe and the other STraHL will have to risk something precious to protect the ones they love.

STraHL
STraHL- Child- Most Important Person
Orphe- Kagutsuchi (MIP: believed to be Ed but actually Lui)
Ed- Miroku (MIP: Orphe)
Naoji- Dhuran (MIP: Lui)
Ludwig- Kiyohime (MIP: no one knows until ep12)
Camus- Diana (MIP: Lui)
Isaac- Gakutenoh (MIP: Orphe)
Ishtar- Gennai (MIP: Lui)
Albert- Harry (MIP: Robertine)
Josef- Juliet (MIP: random woman)
Griffith- Vlas (MIP: unknown)

Beruze- Bitter and EVILZ Retaliation Unit Zebra Eggplant
Duke- giant penis (Artemis)

Work in progress, details subject to change without notice. Be sure to look out for this and the sequel, Meine Otome!

Camus is feeling ill.

Orphe: Camus, what’s wrong?

Camus: My Otome-sense is tingling- something has happened to Ed!

Orphe: Not my beloved Ed.

Braunschweig enters.

Braunschweig: Has anyone seen Ed? I’ve randomly come all the way from mansion to find him!

Orphe: But…he went to find you! He thought you’d accused him of eating the last chocolate biscuit!

Braunschweig: I never said any such thing! Something is wrong here. Come on, Orphe, let’s go.

Cut to Braunschweig and Orphe on the train.

Braunschweig: Orphe, I’m so ashamed of the example I set for Ed- all this time, I’ve been sleeping with women of all things. I tried to make amends by sending his sister away, but it really wasn’t enough. I’m just so glad that you made friends with him and showed him what it means to be HARD GAY.

Orphe: For me, there is no greater pleasure than to have Ed at my side, ready to service me whenever I need it.

Cut to Camus and Elmunt.

Elmunt: Camus, there’s something I need to discuss with you. You’re an Otome like me, aren’t you?

Camus: I, er…

Elmunt: It’s okay, I saw your Mystic Rose Quartz gem in the greenhouse the other day. And look, I have the Dull Brown Rock! We can be Otome together!

Camus: Elmunt, you don’t understand- I can’t leave Lui and the inner circle.

Elmunt: But, Camus…I’ve loved you from afar for so long, and I thought now that I was a Strahl candidate, we could be together!

Camus: I’m sorry…

Cut to the Braunschweig mansion, Ed has made it home to his stepmother.

Ed: Hello, mother.

Stepmother: Ed! You’re still alive!

Ed: Mother, what are you saying?

Stepmother: Don’t you get it, yet, you stupid child? I don’t want you, some illegitimate son, inheriting the Braunschweig name and estate. They belong to my daughters!

Ed: But Mother, all I ever wanted was for you to smile at me…

Stepmother: You fool!

Evil stepmother draws a gun!

Stepmother: If you want something done right, do it yourself!

Stepmother hesitates just long enough for Orphe and Braunschweig to arrive and disarm her.

Braunschweig: Darling, what’s going on?

Stepmother: I…Ed…

Ed: Don’t worry about it. I know you’ve hated me all these years, you wanted to hurt my sister, you conspired against me last season, and now you’ve even tried to kill me, but what the hell- we’re family, and that’s all that matters.

Stepmother: Ed…

Evil stepmother sheds a tear!

Cut to Beruze and Isaac.

Beruze: Isaac, you of all people should understand my situation. Never bishie enough to join the inner circle, always forced to look in from the outside.

Isaac: While it’s true I longed to be part of that inner circle, I could never be as EVILZ as you. I may follow orders now, but you must know that by the end of the season I will follow my heart and prevent you from destroying my beloved Orphe.

To be continued…

Ed’s stepmother of EVILZ visits Beruze.

Stepmother: Beruze, we have much to discuss. Last season you promised to get Eduard out of the way, and yet he is still here.

Beruze: I had the small issue of trying to overthrow the king to occupy me last year- but never fear, for I am back, and I am EVILZ.

Isaac: Shocking evilz, but Beruze is my only lover now, I cannot betray him.

Cut to a Rosenstolz dinner party, with girls!

Bernard: As you can see, we have both males and females here tonight. Let us raise our glasses to the new ways!

Nicholas: Look at those Strahl candidates standing over there in the corner. Let’s show them that real men aren’t afraid to dance with girls.

The three newbies successfully ask three girls to dance.

Ludwig groupies: Don’t give into the girls, Ludwig-sama!

A short time later, Daniel brings a girl over to Orphe.

Daniel: Well, Orpherus, would you like to dance with this girl? Or are you just too gay?

Orphe: I- I’ll do it.

Orphe and the girl dance. Daniel stands with Ed.

Redhead: So, Eduard, how does it feel to see your beloved dancing with another- and a woman, no less?

Ed: Orphe would never betray the bond we have! You can embrace the new rules all you want, but we won’t stop being gay just because you want us to! And hard gay at that!

Meanwhile, out on the balcony…

Camus: Nothing’s right with this school anymore.

The next day, Orphe meets Gerald in the corridor.

Orphe: Gerald-sensei!

Gerald: Orphe, I know times are difficult, but I want to assure you that everything’s going to be fine- and if you ever need an experienced man to turn to, I’ll be there for you.

Orphe: Thank you, Gerald. Last season I thought Isaac could fulfil my desire for an older man, but you are so much bishier than he.

Cut to the archery range. Naoji practises whilst Ed watches.

Naoji: Missed again…will I ever be good enough?

Ed: Naoji, your aim has always been good enough for me…

Gerald and Orphe approach.

Orphe: Ed, you must go home at once! Your father has accused you of eating the last chocolate biscuit!

Ed rushes home at top speed, first by train, then by horse. As he gallops through the forest, a crossbow bolt causes his horse to rear, and he falls. Back home, his evil stepmother cackles insanely.

Stepmother: At last, Ed, you shall meet the fate you deserve, thanks to the incomparable teamwork of myself, Beruze, and our recruited non-bishies!

Cut back to Ed.

Ed: Think, Ed, think- did they send you a script for episodes 5 and beyond? Did you check your contract? Oh, why didn’t I even bother to find out if Orphe loved me more than Lui?

To be continued.