Azure Flame Reloaded

With the kidnapping case resolved, the police thank Tachibana.

Yoshioka: Thanks for everything you did, Tachibana- and don’t worry, we won’t reveal your name as a low-life collaborating snitch!

Udagawa: It’s just as well you got there when you did, because after the cake would have come death! That’s how meals usually go, isn’t it?

(Tachibana: Oh, shut up, you minor characters! When am I going to get closure? I’ve wasted eleven episodes of my life in a stupid cake shop just to catch these damned kidnappers!)

Tachibana returns to Antique, where the others are still waiting. Continue Reading »

Tachibana finds himself trapped in yet another Flashback Mode about his kidnapping.

Young Tachibana: Mother, it was awful! And the worst thing wasn’t being taken from my family and forced to live with a strange man- it was eating cakes with strawberries on top!

Back in the present, the two cops plan a stakeout at Antique.

Old Detective: I know it’s the penultimate episode, but I’d like to announce that we habe names! I am now Udagawa, and this young guy is Yoshioka. Continue Reading »

Tachibana has a Flashback Mode about how he escaped his captor by stabbing him in the leg.

Tachibana: I don’t want any more strawberries!

Kidnapper: Wait! Would raspberries have been better?

In the present, Ono presents a new cake.

Eiji: Delicious! A perfect combination of mousse and fruit!

Ono: Er, yes, ‘mousse’… Continue Reading »

It’s a new day at Antique Bakery, and against all odds, Eiji’s fig cake is selling well.

Tachibana: Who would have thought such plain cake would sell this well? All those cooking shows about fine dining have lied to me!

Ono: Well, it’s just like my body- once people get a taste of it, they keep coming back for more.

Whilst Eiji makes more cakes, Tachibana and Ono discuss his future.

Tachibana: So, what do you think? Is he going to become a worthy patissier? Continue Reading »

The episode begins in the home of a female writer as she types up a story; for comedy’s sake, we shall pretend she is a food critic.

(Woman: The meal was absolutely awful. The potatoes were undercooked; I’ve cracked my teeth on softer rocks! And as for the dessert, well, to even call such a lacklustre and watery mixture a dessert is an insult to chefs everywhere.)

Her daughter comes in.

Daughter: Mum, I’m hungry.

Woman: Then go and eat something! Don’t bother me with such trivialities! You know where the fridge, supermarket and ATM machine are, don’t you? Continue Reading »

Despite it being August at the time of airing in the real world, Christmas has arrived in Antique world, and Ono has prepared some special cakes.

Tachibana: Is that white stuff on the cake chocolate?

Ono: Er, no…you’ll find out what that suspicious white liquid is when you taste it…

Continue Reading »

Through the magic of television, we’ve jumped ahead to several months after Antique’s opening. Everything is perfect, and everyone is happy.

THE END.

Or not, because a new HARD GAY man is in town, and he’s packing red roses! He enters Antique, and one can almost hear the strains of Bach’s Toccata.

Man: Bonjour, je suis HARD GAY. Continue Reading »

At his dorm, Eiji’s former colleagues are lusting over his body.

Boxer: I want Eiji-san’s body!

Boxer #2: It’s no good- I can’t take it anymore!

The coach enters. Continue Reading »

Outside the bakery, Chigake thinks about Ono and gets a RAGING HARD-ON.

(Chikage: Ono, take me in your arms and let me the rich chocolate sauce to your creamy profiterole!)

At closing time, Tachibana calls Chikage in.

Chikage: What is it, young master?

Tachibana: Well, you know, it’s getting pretty late and I’m closing up shop soon…

Chikage: Are you propositioning me? Continue Reading »

The day of the grand opening has finally arrived.

Tachibana: Antique- open for business!

Ono: Sweet cakes and HARD GAY for all!

Eiji: Why’s it called ‘Antique’ anyway?

Unfortunately, the rain ensures a lack of customers- at least until one woman shows up.

Ono: All right, STRAIGHT boy, show me how you deal with women. Continue Reading »