Azure Flame Reloaded

As the monster falls down to the river below, Weed uses special main character powers to ensure that it is impaled on a convenient tree spike whilst Ken and Kagetora are saved.

Ken: Wow, I really thought minor characters like us wouldn’t make it through that arc.

GB: Where’s Weed? How could you let the main character risk himself for you?

Ken: Don’t worry; I’m sure he’ll show up. Continue Reading »

Whilst our heroes stand over the body of Smith, the monster dog emerges. Nameless unimportant subordinate dogs run away.

GB: Oh great, it’s still alive- Smith just sacrificed himself for no good reason.

Monster: They’ve cast a VA for me at last, and that means it’s time to hear the tragic story that will add depth to my character. Enter Flashback mode!

Scene dissolves to flashback. Continue Reading »

The new dogs introduce themselves.

Jerome: Guess what, it’s the usual “that cliffhanger wasn’t quite what you thought it was” opening to the episode. We aren’t your enemies; in fact, we’re here to explain the situation. Enter Exposition Mode!

Screen dissolves to flashback. Chrono Trigger battle music plays.

Jerome: Anyway, to cut a long story short, that monster dog was an experimental specimen that turned on the humans- and we’re the squad of dogs trained to take it down. You know, the squad that usually gets massacred trying to do its job, leaving it up to the enraged main character to finish off the monster. I’m sure you’ve all seen the movies- or would have if you weren’t wild dogs.

Weed: Great! We’ll go with you and help you finish off the monster. Continue Reading »

Our intrepid canine heroes journey on, but thank to old man Smith and pup Mel, the pace is slow.

GB: Hey Weed, why don’t you go on ahead? Of course it’s not safe and you’re bound to get in trouble without your friends by your side, but what the hell- just go for it.

Weed: Sure thing, GB!

Weed goes on ahead.

Smith: GB, what are you doing, sending the main character out by himself? Go after him at once! Continue Reading »

Weed, GB and Smith move on.

Weed: Hey, what happened to that brown dog from episode one?

The other dogs shrug.

Cut to a town- a young pup named Mel is stealing food from the humans. He runs off into the forest.

GB: What’s that all about?

Hook: I am Hook, a character conveniently placed here for some plot exposition. That pup is going wrong thanks to the EVILZ influence of Blue, gang leader and murderer of my brother. Continue Reading »

Where other series have fallen by the wayside, I can’t help but keep watching Ginga Densetsu Weed; not because it’s particularly good, nor even for the novelty of featuring dogs as the main characters, but because it is perfect material to parody. And so, starting today, I’ll be posting my episode-by-episode parody guide as to the events of this little-known series. Continue Reading »