Azure Flame Reloaded

One appropriately dramatic night, Montague and his people attack the Capulets and slaughter them.

Capulet: Damn you, Montague- how could you do such a thing?

Montague: Gwakaka- it is all part of my plan to become the main villain of this series!

Young Juliet and Cordelia are rescued by Conrad and his Pegasus, giving the girl her first taste of HORSE. Continue Reading »

“This seems like a contrived way to get us into the plot.”

“She gives good BI, and I’m sure she’d reward you.” Continue Reading »

Anime seems a bit thin on the ground this week, so to make up for it completely coincidentally, this week sees the introduction of new Rankings tables, which are of course a complete rip-off of any and all rankings ever seen in anime blogs before this point. The rankings will be divided into three tables- currently airing (including those that just finished), OVAs and slowly-subbed series. The latter two lists will only be updated whenever a new OVA or ‘slow’ series episode is released. Clear as mud? I thought so.

Reviewed this week: Aria 25-6, El Cazador 12, Nodame 21, Emma II 8-9

…and in manga: REC 31, Twin Spica 3-4

I tried to watch Polyphonica 3, but it was so dull that I stopped after a few minutes.

Continue Reading »

When a foreign princess arrives in the country in search of local BI, Machs finds himself escorting her- but can a man who prefers HARD GAY really hope to satisfy the needs of a woman?

A New Wang outlet is sighted. Continue Reading »

Like many young women, Cornet dreams of the day when her Prince Charming will rush in to sweep her off her feet. In the meantime, her ability to talk to puppets, fairy friend Kururu and a horn with special powers are her best weapons in her quest to at least get the Prince’s attention, at least until she is called upon to step things up a notch and save him from the clutches of Marjoly the witch.

Before they came to prominence with their incredibly addictive SRPGs, Nippon Ichi brought us Rhapsody, a game that was to show only the very first hints of the greatness they would one day achieve. For gamers looking to take the first tentative step from regular RPG to SRPG, it might be a good primer, but as more experienced gamers will soon discover, it is far too easy to offer much in the way of longevity.

Continue Reading »

The troupe gathers around Kotoha’s bed as Ryouun tends her.

Ryouun: Well, it looks like she isn’t dead- in fact, you could say this whole side story about her getting attacked was rather pointless.

Shiranui goes outside.

Shiranui: Why is my storyline given so little priority? Why wasn’t I the lead? More importantly, why is there a giant Lord’s Head in the sky?

Using the power of HARD GAY, Akidzuki penetrates the BI barrier protecting Final Boss Castle. From his boss chamber, Soutetsu watches.

Soutetsu: Excellent, the final level has begun! Now I will eradicate the last remnants of HARD GAY and usher in a BI future! Continue Reading »

On the planet Aqua (formerly known as Mars), female gondoliers known as undines ply their trade along the canals of Neo Venezia, a recreation of the city of Venice back on Earth. Fuelled by their dreams of becoming full-fledged undines themselves, Akari Mizunashi and her friends Aika and Alice train hard for their respective companies, all the while taking the time to stop and appreciate the many wonderful sights and sounds of Neo Venezia.

Continue Reading »

Akidzuki and Kanna commence their Pleasure- Akidzuki using HARD GAY Sword, whilst Kanna relies on BI Gun.

Kanna: I am finally free! Kakunojo has cleansed me of my hatred of BI and need for outdated HARD GAY, and so I am finally free to experience heights of Pleasure I never knew before!

(Akidzuki: You fool, your Gun will never be a match for my Sword!)

Their intense session continues, with both men wounding each other. They fall into the sea. Continue Reading »

A guide to anime hair

Anime hair is a strange thing- it completely refuses to obey the normal laws of physics, requiring a whole new set of regulations to be written out for it.\

• Don’t worry about dye- exotic and unlikely colours can and will grow naturally. In fact, in some worlds they are more prevalent than normal hair colours. Bi- or even tri-coloured styles are also possible.
• Hair will only ever grow if the plot demands it; otherwise it just remains in the exact same style indefinitely.
• White or silver hair is not a sign of age, and is in fact desirable if you wish to look evil and mysterious.
• Hair is extremely difficult to damage, to the point where only the most damaging and stressful of situations can have any effect on it.
• When cutting one’s hair, it is imperative to just hack at it with a knife- somehow it will automatically fall into a perfect style.

Continue Reading »

In order to aid the short attention spans of today, pictures will appear sporadically.

Welcome to a new section of the blog, one in which ranting takes a new direction as I temporarily move away from attacking anime in order to turn my attention onto games. These ‘Dark Side’ rants aren’t like the normal moans, however, for in them I shall abandon my usual writing persona to adopt a more informal ‘Dark Side’ personality, who finds even more faults than I do in my default state. And so, let the ravaging begin with that one RPG that brought many of us into the gaming fold- Final Fantasy 7.

Continue Reading »